Chapter Thirteen
"There's something we need to talk about," Mags says one morning while we're eating breakfast.
I swallow the hot grains I'd just taken a bite of, feeling my throat burn a bit as it goes down. "Uh oh," I say with a joking tone, even though that's actually what I'm thinking. "Am I in trouble?"
Mags smiles at me, showing off some of her missing teeth. "Of course not. Never, if I have any say in it." This calms the sinking feeling in my stomach. "The next Hunger Games are coming up. Usually, our Victors take turns mentoring. Since you're our newest Victor, it would be your turn, and you'd be mentoring with Finnick this year. Do you think you're up for that? I can talk with the others if you're not and see if we can work something out."
I can tell this has been on Mags's mind for a while, and I don't want to worry her any more. Mentoring in the Games. I think about what that might be like, but before I can get carried away and stress myself out, I give Mags an answer. "I think I can do it."
Mags sighs in relief. "Finnick I'm sure will be happy to help you out and show you the ropes. And I suppose if anything goes wrong, you can give me a call and I'll fill in for you."
"Thanks, Mags. I wouldn't want you to have to do that though." I already owe Mags so much. I can be brave, I tell myself.
There's a brief knock on Mags's front door before it opens and I hear Finnick bellow out, "Hello, ladies!" He saunters into the kitchen, giving Mags a kiss on the cheek.
"You're back from the Capitol early," Mags says, her eyes scanning Finnick's face before she smiles.
"I got lucky—had a cancellation at the last minute. Something about a stomach flu. So I got to come home," Finnick says before winking. "Did you miss seeing this handsome face that much?"
Mags laughs. "You know I did."
Finnick turns to face me now, and I wipe my mouth, hoping there's no food on my face. "I'm glad you're here, Annie, I was hoping to find you today."
I return his smile. It's nice to have someone want to see me.
"Do you remember the Gaskells? I was going to go visit them today—I haven't seen their new baby yet. And I seem to remember that I promised to introduce you to them. Would you like to join me?"
I always get nervous about meeting new people, but they seemed nice enough before. "Yeah, that sounds like fun."
"I just talked to Annie about mentoring this year," Mags says.
Finnick looks between me and Mags. "Did you accept?" He asks me.
"Yep," I say, giving a brief smile to hide my anxiety.
"Excellent," Finnick says. "We're gonna have fun mentoring together. It's not so bad, you'll see."
Mags makes some sort of noise in her throat and I can't tell if she wants to disagree or if she's laughing at him.
"I hope so," I say.
Finnick grabs himself a bowl and starts dishing himself out the hot grains before sitting at the table next to Mags.
Once we've finished eating, I run upstairs to get changed and do my hair. I pull on a simple blue sundress and braid my hair before wrapping it in a bun. I want to make a good impression on Finnick's friends.
I'm second-guessing my choice of outfit by the time I make it downstairs, but when Finnick sees me, he smiles and says, "You look lovely."
I blush. "Thanks. This isn't too dressy, is it?"
"Not at all. Are you ready to go?"
We say goodbye to Mags and start walking down the street.
"Hey neighbor," I hear someone shout. "Annie!"
I see Theo Rand up ahead. He's wearing an unbuttoned button-up shirt and some light blue pants. My gut twists and I feel Finnick grab my wrist. Theo jogs up to us, looking down at Finnick's hand on my arm.
"I'm not gonna do anything to her," he says. "I just wanted to apologize to you Annie, for the things I said back at your Victory banquet. I forget that not everyone's like me and embraces this lifestyle."
I'm surprised by his apology. "Thanks, Theo," I say quietly.
Theo looks between me and Finnick a few times. "Anyways, just wanted to clear the air. And stop by anytime. I have more to offer than just my body," he gives a wink and jogs back into his house.
Finnick lets go of my arm. "You really do have some effect on people," he says. "Never in my life did I think Theo would apologize for being a dick."
"Finnick!" I say in surprise.
Finnick laughs. "Well it's true!"
We make our way through town, to the richer side of the District. Apparently the Gaskells are related to the mayor somehow, which makes sense since they have a boat they can take out more for fun than for work.
Their house isn't near as large as ours in the Victor's Village. It's still one story, with a faded white exterior, but it's much larger than the Vargas's home.
We're greeted by all three of the Gaskells right at the door.
"Annie, this is Marie," Finnick says pointing to the woman with flowing brown hair and a crooked smile. "This is Topher." He points to the tall tan man with cropped brown hair. "And this must be little Pip." He finished, poking the stomach of the small round child in Topher's arms.
"It's so good to meet you, Annie," says Marie. "Please come in."
Finnick and the Gaskells are quickly absorbed into a conversation about how it is to be a new parent—sleep schedules and feeding mishaps. I've never seen Finnick look like this before—he's almost dewy-eyed. I find myself spacing out for part of the conversation, fighting back haunting images. I squeeze my eyes tight until they go away. When I open them, I see Marie quickly glance at Topher, but they don't say anything.
Finnick seems over the moon when they let him hold Pip. He immediately starts making funny faces to try to get Pip to laugh. Pip manages a smile, and you'd think it was the best thing in the world according to Finnick's reaction.
"Annie, we heard you collect shells," says Topher. "We'd love to see your collection sometime."
"Yes, do bring it by next time you're here. And maybe you could teach us a few dance moves too. We're starved for entertainment these days, stuck at home," Marie adds.
I shift in my seat, feeling a bit uncomfortable with the attention. I smile and nod. "That would be fun."
They smile, and Marie begins telling a story about how she once tried to woo someone in school by dancing and just hoping he'd see her. We're all laughing hard when she gets to the part about farting in front of him when he finally did notice her.
"But it all worked out because if things had worked out with him, I would never have met Topher," Marie smiles and strokes Topher's face, the gesture feeling a little too intimate to be witnessed.
Finnick gives me a quick glance. "Well, we don't want to overstay our welcome. Thanks for letting us visit." He says, getting up to leave. Grateful that Finnick keeps these social calls short, I follow him out.
As we walk home, Finnick says, "I think I would have loved to be a dad. If things were different."
I look up at him and see his eyes are moist with tears, his lips downturned. I squeeze his arm. "You would be the best dad. And who knows? Maybe one day you'll be able to. You might not be gorgeous and desirable your whole life." I immediately blush, kicking myself for saying something so rude, but Finnick just laughs and I can tell his mood lightens.
"You really are the cake with the cream, Annie."
I furrow my brow, trying to think back on if I'd heard that before and what kind of insult it is, but I'm unfamiliar with the saying.
Finnick, sensing my hesitation says, "It's a compliment! Don't worry. I think it means something about how you're so much more than anyone expected. Like you're the best of the best. Something like that."
I sigh in relief. "Oh, thank you."
"You want to know what makes it even better? Apparently President Snow hates the phrase. He won't let anyone near him say it. No one really knows why, but after learning that I vowed to use it as often as I can. Not many people can be described as the cake with the cream though, so you're actually the first I've used it on."
I smile, imagining President Snow squirming in his seat over such a nice little phrase. "That does make it even better. Is that one of your secrets from the Capitol?" Finnick told me that he recently stopped taking payments of money and jewels from his clients, and instead asks them for secrets.
Finnick nods. "It gives me some of my power back, to hold these secrets. I'm not sure what I'll do with them quite yet, but for now I'm having fun with the information."
Upon learning that my birthday is at the end of June, Finnick insists we take the Gaskell's offer to take their boat out to celebrate. I agree, thinking it could be fun, but when I wake up that morning, I feel uneasy.
I never really celebrated my birthday before. It was a day of sadness in my house growing up. My father usually spent the day working or drinking, or both, and I was kept to myself if I didn't have school. It feels wrong to celebrate my birthday, especially now that he's gone.
But, a promise is a promise, and I promised Finnick and Mags that we could do it. I get dressed in an airy white dress, some woven sandals, and braid my hair before pinning it up across the top of my head.
The uneasy feeling diminishes just a bit when I go downstairs to find Mags in her kitchen, and she greets me with a big hug. "Happy birthday, dear girl," she says.
Mags recounts her favorite birthdays over the years as we eat breakfast together. When she was a child, her parents would always make her a special seaweed soup for her birthday. She grew up in the days after the war, so food was scarce, but they managed to find some seaweed for her every birthday.
We walk and meet Finnick down at the beach. He's preparing the boat, hoisting sails up and throwing ropes around. It really shows off how strong he is, and I catch myself staring a little too long. Embarrassed, I look over at Mags, who simply smiles and winks at me.
"Happy birthday, Annie!" Finnick says before pulling me, and then Mags into a hug.
After a few more minutes of preparing the boat, we're off to sail. I haven't been in a boat for a while, and it takes me some time to get used to the movement. The waves seem to stretch out forever. A dance of blues and greens and whites as it splashes against the boat.
Finnick and Mags start singing a sea shanty, and I find myself joining in.
My mother told me
Someday I will buy
Galleys with good oars
Sail to distant shores
I dance along to the music, careful not to lose my balance and fall overboard.
Finnick claps his hands in beat to the song as we finish.
Hew many foe-men
We all laugh and clap for each other.
"Life almost feels normal when I'm with you too," Finnick says.
Without missing a beat, Mags responds, "We're as normal as you'll ever get, boy, what do you mean?"
This makes us laugh again. Three Victors, including one who's gone crazy, are about as far from normal as I can think of. But we make it work.
When the sun has made a considerable journey across the sky, and Finnick has pulled in a few nets full of fish, we head back. Mags leaves a pile of homemade fish hooks that she shaped out of the cans we had brought food in for our lunch. "It's a hobby of mine," she says with a smile, tucking them into a pouch before placing them near the other fishing equipment. "Gotta keep my hands busy somehow."
We make it back to Mags's house where I find a cake waiting on her kitchen table.
"Couldn't let your birthday go without cake, my dear," Mags says, smiling.
I go to the cupboard to get some plates when I hear Finnick's voice, so recently full of joy, now tinged with fear. "Mags?"
I turn and see Finnick crouching in front of Mags, half her face sagging. I drop the plate I had been holding and it shatters on the ground.
"Mags?" Finnick asks again, rubbing Mags's arms to try to get her to respond. Mags begins opening her mouth as if to say something but only a few garbled sounds come out.
I don't know what's happening to her, but I know we need to get Mags to the hospital as fast as possible.
"Finnick, does anyone around here have a car?"
"A car?" Finnick looks at me, bleary eyed. He blinks a few times. "The only one who has a car around here is Theo, but—"
Without hearing the rest of what he was saying, I rush out the house and run to Theo's house. I pound on his door until he opens.
"Whoa there, neighbor, no need to knock so hard. If you wanted to join us, all you had to do is ask," Theo says. I hear someone giggling behind him.
"I need your car," I say, not acknowledging his greeting.
"My car? What's a girl like you need a car for?" Theo asks, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorframe.
"Something's wrong with Mags and we need to get her to the hospital. Theo, please," I say frantically, worried we're taking too much time.
Theo's expression changes and he turns to grab a set of keys that lay on a table near his door. "Here," he says, handing me the keys. "There should be enough gas in there to get you to and from the hospital."
"Thank you, Theo," I say.
"Mags was my mentor too. Keep me updated, will ya?"
I nod and run back to Mags's house, throwing the keys at Finnick. "Oh, sorry," I say as they hit the side of his face instead of landing in his hands. "I don't know how to drive, so the car's back at Theo's house.
Finnick picks the keys up and takes off running to get the car. Once he's pulled it up the curb, Finnick places Mags on his back and carries her out to the car.
It seems like ages before we make it to the hospital, but we run inside, Mags on Finnick's back once more. The orange walls and the smell of the place are just the same as when my father died, and I feel a pang of grief overcome me. I can't lose Mags, too.
The doctor takes Mags back into a patient room and we're left in the waiting room. Finnick wrings his hands and I worry he's squeezing them so hard they'll bleed, so I take his hands in mine. He responds by laying his forehead down on our hands. We sit like that for what feels like hours before the doctor comes out to speak with us.
"Mags has suffered a stroke. She's in recovery now. We're not able to do all the scans I'd like, but it seems there might be some sort of permanent damage," the doctor explains.
"Damage?" Finnick asks.
"We think the stroke occurred in the part of the brain that controls speech. We're not sure how much damage was done, but you should prepare yourselves for the possibility that she might not be able to communicate as she once did."
"Can we see her now?" I ask.
"Yes," the doctor says as she shows us to Mags's room
Mags is lying on a hospital bed, with only a few wires attached to her body, so I take that as a sign she's doing alright.
Mags smiles when she sees us, and I'm glad to see her face is back to normal. She makes some sort of garbled noise and it takes me a second to realize she's said, "Hi."
Finnick rushes over to her and hugs her, holding her frail frame in his arms. "You scared us," he says.
Mags tries to say something more, but gives up and instead shakes her head before placing her hand on Finnick's chest. She then turns and beckons for me to come closer and I meet her in a hug.
Mags is able to come home with us the next day, and Finnick and I both stay at Mags's house.
"You're not getting rid of us now," Finnick says, his usual cheeky smile back.
Mags says something that I think is, "I couldn't if I tried."
Mags's condition improves over the next couple of weeks, with both Finnick and me now living with her permanently. She's able to move around as normal, and her speech gets better, or at least Finnick and I get better at understanding what she says.
We're sitting around her table late at night when Mags says, "Not afraid to die, you know."
Finnick looks at me with a look on his face, as if questioning if he heard correctly.
"You're not afraid to die?" I ask.
Mags nods her head and says simply, "Good life. Good life with you. Will be happy to move on to next life too."
I can see that this upsets Finnick, but I get up to hug Mags. She has had a long and hard life, and I'm just glad she feels it's a good life here with us now. I want to do everything I can to make sure it stays that way for her.
