Tanya didn't wait for me to respond. She took the seat Beth had been occupying and placed the root beer on the table in front of me.
I really wanted that drink but I refused to accept anything from a vampire, not again. It was bad enough that I kept my job even after knowing about Irina. I crossed my arms over my chest and waited, hoping she would go away once she realized I wanted nothing to do with her.
I wasn't that lucky. She seemed to be just as stubborn as I was. I sighed and grabbed my marker. I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye and saw she looked hopeful, like she thought I was going to talk to her. I wasn't. Instead, I started doodling on my board, like I usually did when I was bored.
"I talked to Irina," Tanya said when she realized I wasn't going to acknowledge her. "I know you know about us. I also know the Cul—" I tensed up, "okay, they," Tanya quickly corrected. "I know they hurt you and now you feel like you can't, or maybe just don't want to, trust vampires." She paused, like she was trying to figure out what else to say. "You know they came here about a month ago. They were all withdrawn. They wouldn't take about it but the rest of us knew something was off. They abandoned you… didn't they?" I ignored her and continued to doodle. "And now you're afraid of getting close to anyone out of fear of getting hurt again?" Still no answer. "I understand that. Can you answer at least one question for me?" This time I looked up, but not at her. "The tugging… you feel that, right? It's like a tether connecting you to someone. The closer it gets the better you feel but when it's far away, to the point where you can't feel it, you feel almost sad."
How do you know about that? I finally asked. The only reason I asked is because I wanted to make sure it wasn't some medical condition I needed to get treated.
I had a feeling I was going to regret this. I pulled my thin jacket closer to my body. It was already cloudy but the clouds seemed to have changed, they looked whiter then they did dark. I felt a drop of water hit my cheek. I wiped it away, hoping it wasn't going to start raining, or worse, snow.
I watched as Tanya's eyes lit up when she saw I was talking to her. "I know because I feel the same thing, albeit stronger," Tanya said. She looked around the patio. We were the only ones outside, other than Eric, who was finishing up the cooking. "What did they tell you about mating bonds?"
I frowned. I didn't recognize the phrase. Nothing. I've never heard that before.
Tanya shook her head. "They should have told you. Why they wouldn't, I don't know, unless…" She shook her head again. "But that's okay, I will explain. I'm sure you know by now that every vampire has a mate, a soulmate, their perfect match in every way." I nodded. Tanya glanced toward Eric to make sure he was still busy with the cooking. "Well, when two vampires are mated the connection is instant. Once the bond forms it never fades, not even death will break the bond."
Like love at first sight? I hated that I was curious and wanted to smack myself for getting interested in Tanya's story.
"Almost," Tanya said with a small smile. "You see, mates don't have to see each other for the bond to be formed. They only need to be near each other. It's the souls that bond them and nothing else."
This is all very interesting, but why are you telling me this?
Tanya sighed. "Because the tether you feel is the mating bond," she explained. I shook my head. I didn't believe it. I refused to believe it. "You don't feel it right now, right? Instead, you feel something else. You feel almost content."
It was starting to snow now but I ignored it. Are you implying I have a mating bond with you? I wasn't stupid. I knew that tugging was pointing to her and Tanya was right. I did feel content right now with her beside me. But I sure as hell wasn't going to tell her that.
"That is exactly what I'm saying," Tanya said. "You, Bella, are my mate."
I shook my head and Tanya looked confused. Find a new mate. I don't want to be mated to a vampire, not again.
Tanya growled. "You were never mated to him. He wouldn't have left if you were. He wouldn't be capable of leaving you, ever." I clenched my first. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Eric take some food inside.
You know nothing about him, or me.
Tanya closed her eyes. I saw her lips move and it looked like she was counting to five… or maybe five hundred. I couldn't tell. "You're right. I don't know anything about you," she said slowly. "But I do know him and I've known him for over a century. I know he has a temper and I'm sure he's said some stupid things. But this isn't about him. This is about you and me. And right now, you're punishing me for what they did to you, or more importantly, what he did."
I crossed my arms over my chest. I was starting to get cold but I wasn't about to walk away and let Tanya think she had won. It didn't matter that she was right. I was punishing Tanya and Irina for what happened. But I also knew they couldn't be trusted. I couldn't let myself get sucked into another vampire romance, even if it was fated to be. I couldn't do that to Charlie, not again.
Eric came outside to grab the rest of the food. He looked surprised to see me and Tanya outside still. "Tanya, Bella," he exclaimed. "You guys should go inside. Looks like a big storm is coming."
"We'll be in, in a minute Eric," Tanya said sweetly. I rolled my eyes.
"Alright," Eric said before leaving us alone once again.
Did you expect me to fall in love with you as soon as you told me I was your mate?
"No," Tanya answered. I could tell there was a part of her that thought I would. "I know you're human and while you feel the bond, you don't feel the emotions that come with the bond. The love and protectiveness that comes with finally finding your mate. I knew it would take time before you came to love me and I could handle that. But you're not even willing to give me a chance and that hurts."
I took a deep breath. I could see my breath when I exhaled and knew this conversation needed to end soon. Why should I give you a chance? What makes you different than him, or any of them?
Tanya sat up straighter, like she was ready to prove herself to me. It was an interesting thought. "I would never leave you Bella," she started. "In fact, I can't. Anytime I'm away from you I feel this longing to be by your side. I respect your privacy, of course, but I do check on you from time to time." That explains why the tugging was so random.
I tapped my marker to the table, debating on what to write next. What I wanted to do was completely dismiss her and make her leave me alone. But I needed to know more about vampire mating first. Even though I didn't want her, I didn't want her to die from rejection or whatever may happen to a vampire.
"What do you want from me?" Tanya asked pulling me from my thoughts. "It's pretty clear you want nothing to do with me, or Irina, but what do you actually want? Do you want me to call them and make them come back?"
My fist clenched. Yes, I wanted nothing more for them to come back… for him to come back to me but what was the point? He didn't want me, he made that more than clear when he left.
"We're leaving Bella," Edward announced with no emotion.
I ran a hand through my hair. "Okay," I agreed. "This will be a little hard to explain to Charlie but I'm sure Alice can help come up with something. How soon are…" I trailed off when I saw the look on his face.
"You're not coming," Edward said firmly. I had realized that seconds before he said anything. "I'm sorry Bella. I shouldn't have gotten involved with you. I shouldn't have brought you into this life."
"Is this about my birthday?" I demanded to know. "Edward, that doesn't matter. It was an accident. I don't blame Jasper. I never blamed Jasper. It'll be fine. I'll be fine and we can…"
"Shut up," Edward shouted. "Stop talking. Nothing you say matters so just stop talking. You're not good enough for me. I settled for you and I realize now that, that was a mistake."
My jaw snapped shut. I was stunned. Edward had never yelled at me before, nor was he ever this cruel. I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but no words came out. No words would ever come out.
"Goodbye Bella," Edward said before turning and walking away from me.
I didn't realize I was crying until Tanya touched my hand. "I'm sorry Bella," she said. "I shouldn't have offered that. I just thought… I don't know, maybe that's what you wanted."
I do want it but at the same time I don't. It was the most honest I had been anyone since they left. It doesn't matter anyway, he doesn't want me. I erased the words once Tanya had read them. You asked what I wanted from you, the answer is… I don't really know. I want honesty, none of that you're trying to protect me crap. I… I don't know if I can give you a chance, a real chance, but I'll try not to be so hostile.
"Okay," Tanya agreed. "If you can't agree to give me a chance to love you, then can you agree to give me a chance to prove myself to you?" I frowned. "You're pushing me away because of them. So, let me prove to you that I'm not like them. That no matter what happens I will always be there for you." She took off her jacket and handed it to me. "I know my body is cold and it probably won't help but I don't want you to get sick."
I took the jacket and put it on. It was cold but the scent was intoxicating. It wasn't dazzling, like his had been. It was… calming and it smelled better than his jacket did that one time he let me borrow it. It was honeysuckle and something else… cinnamon I think. I pulled the jacket closer and inhaled the scent. I knew it was Tanya I was smelling but part of me couldn't bring myself to care.
Thank you. She nodded. Fine, I'll give you a chance to prove you're not like them. But there are some rules. Tanya raised an eyebrow at me. First, honesty, like I already said. Second, no coming into my bedroom to watch me sleep. No bossing me around or telling me what I can and cannot do. I want to live my life.
Tanya's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean coming into your bedroom to watch you sleep? I would never do something like that."
I decided not to tell her that he used to do that. I felt that…tether as you call it when I was home. I know you were nearby.
I had a feeling if she were human she would be blushing. "Yes," Tanya admitted. "I was nearby. I've been running past your house once in a while. I never stay for more than a few minutes. I simply check to make sure you're okay before leaving." The was a pause. "I accept your conditions but I have one of my own."
I eyed her wearily, wondering what she could possibly want from me. What is it?
"If I do something for you, you can't reject it simply because it's from me," Tanya said. Oh no. "If it is something that makes you uncomfortable then I understand and would like for you to tell me. But if I, I don't know, bring you lunch at work, you can't reject it just because you don't like me."
I sighed. Honestly, it wasn't a bad deal. As soon as she didn't do anything too over the top like the other vampires I knew, it was actually a reasonable request. If she made me uncomfortable I would simply tell her and be done with it.
Agreed.
"Good," Tanya said brightly. She jumped up. "Come on. You need to get inside before you freeze."
I reluctantly followed Tanya into the house. I still had some questions for her, like why she was here in the first place. I remembered hearing Beth and Alison talk about how April had invited Tanya here. This had to be the Tanya they were talking about. Did Tanya know April was interested in her? Was Tanya interested? I didn't really care one way or another. But then another question hit me. Did Tanya accept the invite knowing I would be here?
The inside of the house was nice and warm. My fingers ached from the sudden heat but it felt good to be inside.
"Bella," Charlie exclaimed. "What were you doing outside for so long? You're going to get sick."
"I apologize for that Chief Swan," Tanya said. Charlie shifted his attention from me to her. "Bella and I got to talking and we didn't realize how bad the weather had gotten." He glanced at me and I nodded.
"Oh, well I'm glad you're making friends here," Charlie said. I winced as Tanya's eyes lit up at the thought. "Sit," he instructed, pushing me into a couch near the fireplace. "Warm up. I'll get you some food." He turned his attention to Tanya. "Do you want anything Ms., sorry I don't know your name."
"Denali, Tanya Denali," Tanya introduced, offering her hand to him. I'm sure she only did it because she had the excuse of being outside to explain her cold hands.
"Tanya, nice to meet you," Charlie said. "I'm Charlie, Bella's father. Would you like me to bring you a plate of food as well?"
I held up my hands to the fire and waited for Tanya to say no to the food. "That would be lovely. Thank you Chief Swan," Tanya said.
I thought you couldn't eat. I tapped her arm to get her attention.
"Where in God's name did you hear that?" Tanya questioned. She groaned when she realized where I had learned that from. She leaned closer to me so she could whisper in my ear. "We can eat. Food doesn't really taste like anything but we can eat. The venom will dissolve the food. It simulates digestion in that way. It's great when we want to blend in better."
That was surprising to hear. She was honest and far more detailed in her description of vampire functions than I expected. No one else had been that honest with me. I was told you couldn't eat and you had to throw it up. That food tasted like dirt.
Tanya rolled her eyes. "Yes, I would imagine that was what you were told by them. They are a dramatic bunch. Food doesn't take great but it certainly doesn't taste like dirt. Hmm, how to explain it. I guess the best way to put it would be bland. Imagine food with no flavor whatsoever. It's not good but not bad."
I looked around the room. Most of the adults were having quiet conversations amongst themselves as they munched on food. No one seemed to be paying any attention to us, except for one: April.
She wasn't paying attention to me. She was watching Tanya with some forlorn expression on her face. No doubt upset that the vampire wasn't paying attention to her. She glanced at me. She didn't look angry, maybe concerned? I wasn't entirely sure.
Your girlfriend is watching you.
"My girlfriend," Tanya repeated. She looked around the room and spotted April watching. She groaned. "Not my girlfriend. She's interested and I politely turned her down. For some reason I can't explain, she thinks she still has a chance. I suppose that's partly my fault for accepting her invite today. I knew you would be here, that's why I came."
Does she know about you? Why is she so comfortable with the idea of dating you?
"No, she doesn't know about me," Tanya answered. "It happens occasionally. A human is attracted to us instead of scared. It doesn't happen often as most humans are hardwired to fear us. Perhaps she's destined to be with a vampire. Not me, of course, I've found my mate. But it's possible she's mate of another. Who knows?"
Charlie returned with two overflowing plates of food. He handed one to me first and then to Tanya. The plate was full of carne asada, rice, beans, guacamole, corn tortillas, chips, salsa and some other type of meat that looked like pork. It was a lot of food. More food than I would have eaten before everything happened.
"Eat what you can," Charlie said touching my shoulder. "You need to eat more."
I sighed and slowly started to eat. Once Charlie was satisfied that I was eating he went back to the kitchen to get his own food. I dropped my fork once he was gone.
"Do you have an eating disorder?" Tanya questioned in concern. I shook my head. "It's because of them, isn't it?" I nodded. She growled softly and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, "kill them all."
I rolled up the sleeves of Tanya's jacket and my sweater. I was starting to get too warm but I couldn't bring myself to take off the jacket. "What is this?" Tanya hissed. She grabbed my arm before I could figure out what was going on.
I winced at the feel of her cold hands. I didn't like it. It was a reminder of everything I had lost. But there was a part of me that craved her touch. I hated it and I hated myself for wanting it.
Her fingers ran lightly over the bite mark I received from James. She couldn't see it before when we were outside because I was wearing a sweater. Now she could and she was angry. "You were bit," she said appalled. She frowned. "But you're still human… How?"
A tracker. He hunted me and bit me. The venom was sucked out before I could turn.
That was the moment everything went downhill. I should have known it wouldn't last forever when he went so far as to suck the venom out to keep me from turning. He didn't want me forever, not like I wanted him. I was too foolish and in love to see that. If only I had realized that sooner. I could have saved myself this heartbreak.
I felt blinding rage the moment she read what I wrote. I had never felt such anger before. I wasn't even sure I was capable of this level of anger. Somehow, I just knew it was Tanya's anger and not mine. Suddenly, the anger was gone as was Tanya's hand on my arm. I quickly covered the scar.
"I'm sorry Bella," she said softly. "I shouldn't have reacted that way. It's difficult seeing you with a bite mark from a vampire that… well is not me."
I don't understand. Why did I feel so angry? I've never felt rage like that before.
"I will tell you," Tanya promised. "But not here. Too many people are getting curious about us and I can't risk anyone overhearing. I'm not backing out of my promise, but this discussion needs to be finished elsewhere." She paused to study my face. "Are you alright? You look rather pale."
Now that she mentioned it, I wasn't feeling too great. The smell of the food was making me nauseous and I was starting to feel cold again. I shook my head in response to her question. I glanced at her. She had her hand halfway up like she was going to see if I was warm before realizing that her hand was far too cold to tell.
"Stay here," Tanya muttered. "I'll be right back."
She put her plate and mine onto the coffee table in front of the couch before wandering off. I buried my nose into her jacket. Her scent was soothing and helped ease some of the nausea. I thought about what could have caused this. I wasn't outside in the cold that long.
"Bella," Charlie called concerned. I slowly turned to the side and found Tanya standing next to Charlie. She must have gone to get him. "You look terrible Bells." I smiled slightly. He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'll go tell the guys you're not feeling well and I can take you home."
"Actually Chief Swan," Tanya started. "I could take Bella home and stay with her until you return. There's no need for you to miss out on the party."
Charlie eyed her warily. "Are you sure?" he questioned. I could see deep down he wanted to stay but he would always put me first. I didn't want him to have to leave. It wasn't fair for him to put his life on hold, again. "Bells, are you okay with this?"
I glanced at Tanya. Her expression was neutral. I could feel… excitement I think it was and I could just tell Tanya really wanted to take care of me. It was probably part of her plan to woo me. I was really starting to regret this.
I looked to Charlie and nodded. "Okay," Charlie agreed. "I won't stay out too long. An hour, maybe two. If you need anything just text me okay?" I nodded again. Charlie spotted our untouched plates on the table. "I'll get these bagged up for you guys while Tanya takes you to the car."
Charlie left. "Do you want me to carry you?" Tanya questioned. I shook my head. "Okay, can you stand?"
I tried to stand but I was shaky. Tanya wrapped an arm around my waist to hold me steady. I hated how comfortable I felt with her holding me. If it wasn't for the fact that I couldn't walk, I would have pulled myself out her arms.
Tanya grabbed my whiteboard and handed it to me before leading me out of the house. "I'm sorry Bella," Tanya said as she helped me down the stairs. "I know you don't want me touching you but I don't want you to get hurt."
I wanted to tell her that it was okay and I understood. I actually appreciated what she was doing for me. Despite how… almost mean I've been to her, she was doing everything she could to help me. It was more than I deserved from her.
We stopped next to my truck and she held out her hand for my keys. I dug around my pockets for them before handing them over. She unlocked the truck and carefully placed me inside. While she walked at a human pace to the driver's side I scribbled out a message.
Can you drive in this snow?
Tanya stared at the message before rolling her eyes. "I've been living here for centuries Bella. I've learned to deal with the snow." She turned the truck on so it could warm up. "Whether or not your truck can handle it is a different story."
There are chains under the seat.
"Thank you Bella, right now that's not needed," Tanya said.
Charlie returned with our food and handed to me. "Get some rest Bella," he instructed. "Thank you Tanya."
"Anytime Chief Swan," Tanya said smiling. Charlie left and Tanya slowly pulled out of the driveway. "Let's get you home."
