Tales of the Falls
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
...III...
ANNOUNCEMENT!
I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!
SUMMARY:
On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!
The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.
...responses...
Gamelover41592: thank you
RasenganFin: thank you
...
AN: A strong Thank you to Wolvenstrom for helping with this chapter!
AN: The newspaper titles were given by permission from McCoda, all credit goes to him.
...III...
Newspapers spin forward dramatically-
Trots News: hairless apes infiltrate with alicorn superweapons, Equestria at risk!
P.N.N.: New Species! New Princess! New Threat!
Ponalist Worker: Proletariat Princess's! Glorious revolution in sight?
Equiner: Humanity: New threat or new hoax?
The Pun: Nobility angered over new 'pheasant' princesses!
The Equestrian Post: will war with humans affect Equestrian economic stability?
Charley Horse Head Blow: Newspaper forced to suspend publication due to attempted hostile takeover from Cerberus Syndrome incorporated!
Royal Equestrian Air Farce: (a political cartoon of a motherly Celestia heroically protecting 6 sobbing Alicorn fillies from a hoard of savage apes on the right and a hoard of savage pony nobles on the left.)
E.B.C.: Populace exhausted from non-stop surprising turns of event. Injuries caused by dramatic spinning newspaper also up!
"Everypony just...just stop! We can only take so many world shaking revelations at once! I mean look over there!" Shouted a random pony on the street as he dodged yet another spinning newspaper while also pointing at Numerous ponies lying on the ground, being seen to by medics... "They all got over gasped and passed out from lack of air." He explained...
...
Meanwhile, while the kingdom...'processed' the revelations...the new royalty were processing as well...
"I'M A PRINCESS! I'M A PRINCESS! I'M A PRINCESS! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!" Squealed Twilight delighted as she hoped around excited, then she stopped in her tracks and looked panicked. I'M A PRINCESS! I'M A PRINCESS! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE A PRINCESS! WHAT IF I MAKE A MISTAKE!? PRINCESS CELESTIA WILL HATE ME! MY FAMILY WILL DISOWN ME! PONIES WILL PELT ME WITH ROTTEN FRUIT!"
"Twilight! BREATH!" Commanded Candace quickly while a hyperventilating Twilight went through her usual case of 'Twilighting'...
"Cupcake?" Asked Pinkie Pie as she trotted by plucking a cupcake out of her mane and offering it to the distressed purple filly.
Twilight smiles and thanks her, Pinkie smiles back and trots off...her smile leaves her...the spark of happiness she'd found and spread to her family...had faded a bit.
She still wanted to make people happy...but now...now she couldn't help but feel a bit dour. Fortunately for the fillies, most of them can't really remember getting shot...the whole thing was mainly a blur now...except for the pain...and blood... Otherwise, they'd probably be worse off now...
Applejack experimentally lifts her wings before a mirror and plucks her horn bewildered, "This is plum, terrible! I ain't royalty! I don't know how ta be a snout in the air toff! I finally figured out my destiny and left all that fru-fru nonsense with my aunt and uncle...Now I 'has' ta be like them? That ain't fair! And what about my family? Where are they? I want to be with them!" She shouted firmly.
Candance quickly trotted to her, "Your family is on their way, they're just waiting for EVERYONE in the Apple clan to arrive to congratulate you!" She Puts a comforting hoof on her shoulder the same time Pinkie trots over to give her a delicious apple betty. "I promise you, we'll get your living arrangements all sorted when Princess Celestia returns." She swears.
"I don't get how you can be so glum Applejack! Were living the dream! In all my wildest fantasies I never considered becoming a princess!" Exclaimed Rarity who'd been on a non-stop happy Daze since her 'ascension', and it didn't look she'd be coming off it anytime soon!
Applejack frowned as Rarity approached her with a grin and a measuring tape. Now a week ago, Applejack would probably have dismissed her as a stuck up snob and bucked her to the curb for even THINKING of putting her in a dress...
In fact, most of the fillies she was now with would probably be on each others nerves by now in different circumstances. But thankfully- as horrible as it had been -their shared cutiemark 'rainboom', near brush with death, becoming princesses, and just being thrown into all this insanity together...had allowed them to bond easier then one would expect.
And Applejack had to admit...once she took the time to know her...Rarity was a pretty decent pony. Why she'd already measured every guard, maid, servant and aide in the palace and was going to make celebration dresses for them all!
True, she personally thought that apples would be a WAY better gift then a silly dress...but nevermind...
"So when is Princess Celestia gonna come back from talking from them there humans?" Asked Applejack as she tried to ignore the poking and prodding of the white filly getting her measurements. She didn't rightly trust humans after almost killing her...but if Princess Celestia was willing to trust them...
"Well, I think those humans are jerks! I can still remember getting shot! Still remember falling to my death!" Snapped Rainbow Dash irritably!
"Uh...but...Princess Celestia said some humans were good...that they saved us." Replied an adorably timid Fluttershy, currently so curled up like a hedgehog in fear that the entire staff is wrapped around her hoof in worry. "Couldn't we at least give them a chance?"
Rainbow snorted dismissively, "Yeah, well...MAYBE." She admitted conflicted...then shook her head. "Whatever, at least now I'm a shoo-in for the Wonderbolts! I can just order them to take me in!"
"Rainbow! That's abuse of power! You can't do that!" Shouted Twilight annoyed as she trotted up to the rainbow-mained mare. "Besides, you won't be allowed to be on the Wonderbolts now! Aside from the obvious 'conflict of interest' it would cause sever organizational and ranking issues, furthermore-
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T BE A WONDERBOLT!?" Demanded a furious Rainbow Dash.
Hey, I said they were bonding better then they would have, no that things were flawless...
Candance groaned as she stepped in to stop ANOTHER argument...between juggling these fillies and the country, she had her hooves full! She hoped her aunt was having better luck...
...
After the human group they were with finished eating the rations they were given, they decided to discuss their next move. "What shall we do now? If their government is non-existent...what is there even to do?" Asked a guard confused.
"Well, whatever we do...we can't let these people languish and suffer down here! This is just horrible!" Said Shining as he looked back in disgust to the macabre display that still decorated the center of the courtyard.
Celestia nodded, "I agree. Perhaps I can use my 'Canterlot voice to speak with all of them at once? Maybe convince them to move to a new land? It'll be a bit tricky...perhaps the Abyssinia's would be willing to sell some land? Or maybe I could discuss something with the Hippogriff's? In any case, it'll probably take a year or so, but I'm confident that we could safely move all humans-
"I'm afraid we don't have a year." Said Tyrone suddenly as he looked from his laptop seriously. All the ponies turned to him confused. "The riots didn't just destroy the rich district, it destroyed the central control center of the entire enclave as well as all the municipal functions! water, electricity, oxygen. It's all failing! We have a couple months at best! And that's assuming the plague wall doesn't break down before then!" He shudders at that last bit.
"Plague wall? What's that?" Asks Shining confused. Before Tyrone can say anything-
"Look, Sweetie! I found a diamond! EXCELSIOR!" Says the skeleton man from earlier as he hands said rock to her, she gives it a look. "That's a Zirconian you idiot!" She says to her now dejected husband as she smacks it from his hand.
Tyrone frowns at that...now that he looked closely at the old man...he looked familiar, "Is he-
Meanwhile, Celestia was thinking fast...if all the humans would die soon...she needed to act fast! She'd have to worry about where they'd go afterward latter! She turns to Dave, "Is there truly no one left in authority around here?" She asks quickly, unintentionally interrupting Tyrone's question.
"I never said that there wasn't, just from that bastard cabinet- points to the dead 'Supreme leader' -were actually part of a bigger community run be one of the many senior officers that defected during Ming Jol-ik being exposed as a liar, Preston Garvey."
"Wait, Preston Garvey? District 7G supervisor Preston Garvey?" Asked Wendy. "You know this man?" Asked Celestia.
Wendy nodded, "Yeah, he was the officer in charge of my district. Although he believed in Jol-ik, he clearly wasn't comfortable with his methods. He was a pretty chill guy, as long as you didn't do anything TERRIBLE he more or less left my district to it's own devices."
"Uh...not to be indelicate..but if that's the case...then why did..." Said Shinning as he nervously tried to ask his question.
Wendy's face darkened, "Bad luck, the day I made that report was also the day his supervisor came in for a surprise inspection...he didn't have a choice...he did what he could for my family afterwards..." Wendy trailed off.
Celestia decides it best not to push for more details from Wendy and instead switches to the various humans, they tell her how Garvey had been more of a 'love the country, not the man who runs it' type of guy. He had only served the bastard because he genuinely believed things would be WORSE without him to keep order- it was frightening how effective this 'cult of personality(1)' the Supreme leader had cultivated was. When he learned all the horrible thing he done was in service of a LIE...well let's just say he was one of the first to lead angry mobs to destroy the rich district...
Anyway, when Eagleland collapsed into total anarchy. He gathered many of the former military and formed a coalition/community named the 'Minutemen'- apparently inspired by another ragtag group of humans who stood united against terrible odds. He was now one of the main powers that 'governed(for lack of a better term) in these turbulent times.
"Wait, powers? As in plural? Who else is in charge?" Dave shrugs, "Beats me, I don't do politics. I'm just keeping my head down right now and hoping for the best."
Celestia repressed a sigh and nodded, "Very well, that's fine. I shall talk to these 'Minuteman', maybe they can help me get a better grasp on the situation...
...
It was quite on the farm...nothing but the sound of critters scurrying about and earth pony bucking pears...oh and one little colt running like crazy with a newspaper in his mouth. He ran frantically to the main house. For a brief moment, several of his cousins looked on curious to this strange behavior...before shrugging it off and going back to work...
The calm returned...
HELP! GRANDPA JUST COLLAPSED!
Shouted the colt as he ran back out of the house...
And just like that, the calm was shattered again...
...
Fortunately, it seemed as if the main HQ for the Minutemen was not too far away, just a jump and a skip away...
...not so much.
The first sign of trouble was when the humans started to tense up on instinct...then the burning truck blocking the road-
"Ambush!" Hissed out Tyrone and all the humans ducked behind cover...the ponies just looked confused. "What? An ambush? How can you be so su-
BANG!
The ponies head exploded, "SWEET FAUST, THEY KILLED KENNY!" Screamed another guard amongst ponies who were busy both vomiting and being dragged down to cover by the humans.
"GET DOWN! What is wrong with? You trying to get killed?" Demanded Tyrone of a startled Celestia.
Celestia said nothing, she still looked over to the gray matter of the little pony who just...DIED... In the many battles she'd fought over the centuries...Yes, their had been a couple deaths here and there...but nothing this graphic and horrifying!
Although able to handle it better then the other ponies...she was greatly shaken by it...
Tyrone, sensing this. Quickly goes through their options as the humans fire back at the raiders(the ponies still a bit frazzled by the death of a pony are simply quivering in shock). Near him, Scott groans as he pauses to reload. "Oh, man! If I'd known I was going to be in a fire fight I'd have eaten more then one Big Mac at that Mcdonalds a block over-
"What?! You found a Mcdonalds and you didn't tell us?!" Shouted Foreman angry.
"Nevermind, just tell us where it is! Is it REALLY close!?" Asked Wendy quickly. Scott quickly tells them where it is.
Celestia finally snaps out of it, "Wait, what's a Mcdonald? How will that-
To her horror, Tyrone jumps out of cover! "TYRONE!" Screams Celestia panicked, quickly she charges her magic to pull him back-
"MCDONALDS! I KNOW WHERE A MCDONALDS IS! IT'S NEARBY! CALL A TRUCE, WE'LL LEAD YOU THERE! WE'LL EVEN SPLIT THE BILL WITH YOU!"
Celestia just blanched confused at this sudden change of tone, "What on earth are you- Then to her surprise, she realized the guns had stopped firing.
Suddenly with her magic sharpening her ears she heard loud talking, -What if he's lying?" "It's Mcdonalds! If there's even a 1% chance their telling the truth, do you really want to blow it?" "Good point- WE ACCEPT YOUR TERMS! WE SWEAR BY MCDONALDS TO KEEP TO YOUR TRUCE!"
The ponies watch stunned as the raiders put away their weapons and walked toward them, hands raised.
Shinning just looked dumbfounded as Tyrone and Scott lead the way, "What?! I just...WHAT?!" "Indeed", agreed Celestia equally baffled. She turns to Tyrone, "What is a Mcdonald? And why has it altered our situation so drastically?"
"Never mind that, how can we trust they won't kill us like they did Kenny!?" Demanded Shining, still eyeing the remains of one of his fellow guard.
Tyrone turned to him, "They wouldn't dare, the moment they swore by Mcdonald, they invoke the power and oversight of one of the most wisest, most powerful and most beloved entities of Eagleland. A deity of a time long forgotten, yet greater then ever. Everlasting, invincible and immortal." He said in seldom seen reverence.
"Who?" Asked Celestia amazed.
Tyrone looked heavenward as he said the oh so blessed name; "Ronald Mcdonald, Deity of Corporate ambition, fast food and spokes clowns."
"AMEN!" Shouts all humans...
...IIIā¦...
TO BE CONTINUED?
1: Yet another bizarre concept introduced by the humans. In all her years Celestia could usually count on the people of a nation to rise up against their tyrannical oppressor if only given the inspiration and opportunity(exposing Crysalisis disguise, breaking Sombra's mind control curse, etc)...the idea of good people or ponies being tricked into WILLINGLY doing horrible things in the name of 'good'...disturbed her deeply...
AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!
AN: A strong Thank you to Wolvenstrom for helping with this chapter!
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