Chapter Seventeen
It takes a couple of weeks after the Games have ended for me to feel normal again. At least, as normal as I can be. Finnick has to go to back to the Capitol a few times each week. His birthday is coming up soon and I want to do something fun for him since he planned a fun birthday for me. Finnick told me that he started telling people in the Capitol wrong dates for his birthday, so that way he's less likely to have to spend it in the Capitol—too many people want to be with Finnick on his birthday, and he was tired of it.
I'm with Finnick at the market, and we've split up to look for some blueberry pastries Mags had asked for when I hear two women talking.
"That's Finnick Odair there. I talked to him once. He's just as yummy as he seems on tv," a woman with golden blonde hair says.
Her companion nods her head, taking a nice long look at Finnick. "I wouldn't mind spending a night or two with him. I wonder what it would take. If I could trick him into coming over, I'm sure it would be a done deal."
"Oh yeah, he goes through lovers faster than the tide changes. It's gotta be easy to pick him up."
Something inside me stirs and I feel enraged that these women would talk so openly about him this way. Then I remember that this kind of talk is common, even among the people in our District. That's why I thought of him the way I did when we first met. The injustice of it hits me, and I feel my legs walking toward the two women before I even realize what I'm doing.
"Finnick is a human being, you know! He's not just a toy that you can use however you wish. You're as bad as the people in the Capitol!" It explodes out of me before the reasonable part in my brain can tell me that it might not be the best idea to start a fight in the middle of the market. But when that part does speak up, I don't care. Finnick needs at least one person to stick up for him.
The two women look at me, their eyes wide with shock, before recognition registers on their faces. The blonde woman whispers in her companion's ear, her hand covering her mouth, but I hear the word "crazy" a little too clearly and I think she might have said it louder so I'd hear. They turn at look at me, their faces full of judgement, before walking away, arm in arm, giggling with each other.
I grit my teeth and notice my hands are clenched as well.
"Making friends?" I hear Finnick's voice behind me and I jump, turning around. His eyebrows are raised in question, and I wonder how much of our conversation he heard.
"Not exactly," I say, looking down at my sandals, wondering how to explain what just happened.
"Thank you," Finnick says. I look up and see his smile, his dimples kissing the corners of his cheeks, and the anger that was in my heart melts away with the warmth I feel when I'm around him.
I look at what he's holding and see he's got a package from a bakery. "Did you find them?"
Finnick laughs. "I did. They definitely made me pay more than they're worth, but I didn't mind. Happy to help out the people of my District, even if they think they have to lie to get me to do it."
I thread my arm through his, and we make our way back home, the scent of the blueberries sweetening the air as we walk.
When Finnick's birthday arrives, I'm a bundle of nerves though I'm not quite sure why. I want to make it a good day for him. We've decided to spend the day at the beach with Mags.
I get dressed in my bathing suit and pull a light sundress on over it. I spend maybe too much time braiding and pinning my hair up, especially since I plan to wear a sun hat. I make my way downstairs but pause for a moment when I hear Finnick and Mags in the middle of a conversation in the living room.
Mags says something and Finnick laughs. "Crept up on me? You make it sound like a tactic in the Games. But you're right, that's how it was. I'm going to—"
Finnick stops when I walk into the room. He and Mags give me too-wide smiles which makes me wonder what it is they were really talking about. But I'm sure they'd tell me if they wanted me to know. It might be something sensitive about his time in the Capitol and I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable by asking him about it.
"Hey," Finnick says, his eyes brightening as he smiles at me.
"Happy birthday, Finnick," I say, opening my arms to give him a hug as he stands up from the arm chair. He hugs me back, and we melt into each other, breathing in unison. I rest my cheek on the crook of his neck and close my eyes. His arms are strong but when they wrap around me, they feel so soft and gentle. By the time we part, I realize we've been hugging for a few minutes, and I blush, looking at Mags. She just smiles at me.
"Morning," she says, and gives me a wink.
After we all eat breakfast, we make our way to the beach, stopping a few times along the way for Mags to catch her breath. Her stamina isn't what it used to be since her stroke.
We're stopped beneath a grouping of palm trees. The cicadas are buzzing loudly but I hear Mags humming something. "Mags, what was that birthday song you used to sing when you were little?"
"This song?" Mags asks in her garbled voice before breaking out in song as best as she can now. It's a cheerful song about celebrating life with the people you love and I find myself moving to the rhythm, my feet brushing across the cobblestones. Finnick sees me and offers me his hand and we dance together, hand in hand, swaying, swirling, and tapping our feet as Mags claps and sings another rendition of the song. When she's finished, we all clap and laugh before gathering our things to continue walking.
It's a hot day and the sea is as clear as the sky when we get to the beach. It's a common work day, so there aren't many people there, just a few at the market stalls on the edge of the beach and some at the fishing dock down the way. I often feel guilty or useless for not working when the rest of the District is required to, but Mags usually reminds me that it's illegal for me to work and that I did enough to help the District by winning the Games and getting them the parcels for a year. Even so, I contemplate asking Finnick to teach me some of his skills as I watch him run and dive head-first into the water. Mags and I follow him. Mags strips off her robe and wades into the water. Her bathing suit is a bit old fashioned, but once she's in the water, she moves so quickly I bet her bathing suit has some Capitol technology to it. I wade more slowly in, my heart beating quickly for a few minutes before I'm able to calm myself.
We spend a good portion of the day at the beach, swimming and playing in the water, and having a lovely picnic out on the sand. I made us all sandwiches with good bakery bread and fresh cheese, and gathered up all the fresh fruit I could find for our meal. We eat and talk and laugh, enjoying the warmth of the sun and the breeze coming off the water.
When I realize that I feel happy, a jolt of guilt cuts through me, and I'm quickly pulled into an episode with visions of Thompson and Eleanor dying again and again before my face. When I come to, Mags and Finnick are both there beside me, looking concerned. Frustration at myself fills my chest and I wish I could just have a normal day for once.
Finnick breaks me out of my spiral when he holds out his hand to me, and I see he's got something in his palm—it's a small orange shell in perfect condition. "This was in the sand right beside you. I thought it might be nice to see something beautiful after whatever it is you just experienced," he says, placing the shell in my hand. "You know, aside from me of course."
Mags and I laugh, and Mags gives Finnick a soft slap to his arm, before taking another bite from her sandwich.
Finnick turns back to the sand, his hand making swirling patterns in it. "I don't want to bring the mood down, but I heard something in the Capitol this week that I can't stop thinking about."
"You can tell us anything, Finnick," I say, reaching out to gently squeeze his arm.
Finnick nods and smiles. "President Snow called Johanna Mason to his office last week. He had a bidder he wanted to sell her to."
"Already?" I ask, surprised since she's only been Victor for a few weeks.
"That happens sometimes, if the Victor is old enough," Mags explains in her garbled voice.
"Yeah," Finnick nods and I see that his eyebrows are furrowed. "Well, you know how Johanna turned out to be. She did not take it well. Refused. And she actually attacked President Snow. Apparently gave him quite the big scratch across his face before the peacekeepers got to her." He shakes his head with a grim smile. "What I would have done to see that."
"Her family," I say, horrified thinking about how President Snow would not take that act lightly. He'd want someone dead, and since he can't kill her so soon after she won her Games, especially before the Victory Tour, he'd probably go after her family. Even though everything before her Games was an act, I don't think she was lying about the love she has for her family. A pit in my stomach forms and I feel an aching in my heart. My mind scrambles to find a solution. Some way to save her from the tragedy the president is likely to force on her.
"That's what's got me so worried," Finnick says.
I stand up, adrenaline charging through me. "We have to do something. Can we go to District Seven? Maybe we can save them before it's too late."
Finnick looks at me with that strange look again before beckoning for me to sit back beside him. "It's probably too late already," he says, his voice low.
"Victors can visit the other Districts, but we have to be careful about it. Can't be seen. She's probably being watched closely right now as it is," Mags explains.
"Besides, she's got the other Victors in her District. They're not great but I'm sure they'd be there for her if something were to happen," Finnick says.
"I hate this," I say. "I hate being so powerless against the Capitol." Angry tears make their way to my eyes.
"I know, child," Mags says, stroking my back. "Just remember, we can only do what we can do. We'll be there for her during her Victory tour."
Finnick takes a deep breath, seeming to cheer up again. "And maybe once we've met her and gotten to know her then, we can go visit her. She doesn't seem like the type of person to like to entertain strangers, anyway."
I nod. "Yeah, that makes sense. Well, it's a deal then. Let's be friends with Johanna Mason," I say, thinking about the reality of everything we've just talked about. "Well, let's at least try to be friends with her."
"Now that that's settled," Mags says beside me. "How about some cake?" The way her sentences come out, there's a lot of emphasis on the word cake, and it makes us all laugh a little, especially since we all have such sweet tooths. It helps to pull me out of my worry a bit.
We pack up our things and make our way back to Mags's house. Just like on my birthday, she has a cake waiting for us, and anxious butterflies beat around my stomach as I try to fight the feeling that something bad will happen just like last time.
Luckily it doesn't. We eat the cake and spend the rest of the day playing Games and telling stories. Finnick seems happy. When I ask him if he's had a good birthday, he responds with eyes that almost sparkle and I know it's true when he says, "Yes."
Finnick and I are just finishing up with some chores the next day when Finnick asks me if I'd join him for a walk.
"Of course," I say, brushing my hands off on my skirt. "I'll just get my shoes."
Mags smiles at us as we make our way out the door. "Have fun, you two," she says.
It's another beautiful day, and I can tell the temperatures are starting to cool off slightly. We walk the familiar path through the Victor's Village, arm in arm, as usual.
"There's actually something I wanted to show you," Finnick says, pausing when we get to his house. "It's inside. Wait here, I'll be right back." He dashes up to his house and into the door.
I make my way around the side of his house and stand beneath the cherry tree, taking a deep breath in to smell the sweet fragrance of the cherries that now hang from the branches.
When Finnick comes out, he's holding a piece of paper and his hands are trembling a bit.
"A new poem?" I ask, taking the paper from him.
"Mm hmm," Finnick says, pressing his lips together and motioning for me to read it.
The sun didn't rise
For years—
I languished in darkness,
Never feeling the warmth around me.
Then came those solemn green eyes
That saw through the façade
Deep down to my soul.
Then came the laughter,
The long afternoons, the late nights,
Wishing time would stop and
Moments never end.
The light crept slowly back,
Shining in hues of pink and gold,
And before I knew it had happened,
The sun had risen again.
My breath quickens and I feel my heart start to beat faster as I take in the words, trying not to read too much into what this poem might be about.
"It's beautiful," I say, looking up at Finnick with a smile I can't seem to stifle.
He returns my smile. "It's about you," he says.
My heart skips a beat, and I look back down at the words before meeting his eyes again. His face is soft with that expression I can't quite place my finger on.
"I know that I said I didn't think I was capable of falling in love. I didn't think I understood what it meant. And you said you'd get over your feelings for me and if you did, that's totally fine, nothing needs to change between us." He takes a deep breath and looks up at the tree branches above us before looking back and me, a smile slowly spreading on his face. "I never wanted to fall in love. It scared me. But I couldn't help it. Before I even knew it, you were there in my heart. And everything was better for it. And if that's all that comes of it, that's enough. But I wanted to tell you all the same." Finnick's face is so full of hope and I think I now understand that expression – it's love. I feel my own face mirroring his.
I take his hand in mine, my smile now threatening to reach my ears. "My feelings for you haven't changed. Well, maybe they have," Finnick's smile drops for a second. "No, not like that. I just mean that I think I love you more now than I did back when I first confessed to you. I love you, Finnick."
Finnick smiles wide, his dimples glinting against his tanned skin. "I love you, Annie."
Finnick cups my face with his hand, gently pulling me in close. He hesitates, right before his lips meet mine, and I close the gap. His lips are soft against mine and warmth spreads through me, making me feel as radiant as the sun. I kiss him back and the kiss deepens, sweetness making way to something more passionate. My hands find their way to his shirt and I grasp it, hoping it will hold me up because my knees feel weak. His hands move to the back of my head and tangle into my hair, sending pleasant shocks down my spine. When we finally part, a giggle bubbles up out of me and Finnick lets out a laugh too, both of us smiling wide before our lips meet once more.
Every part of my body feels like it's come alive and all I can think is how much I love Finnick and how happy I am that he loves me too. And then my bubble bursts and I pull away from him, searching his eyes in question. "Finnick, is this really happening? Is this real? Or is it just another hallucination?" I hold my breath, afraid of what the answer might be.
Finnick grasps both of my arms and gazes into my eyes. "This is real, Annie. I love you. I think I've loved you for a long time and I plan to love you for much, much longer, if you'll let me."
I search his eyes for any hint of a lie, any trace of a nightmare, but all I see is Finnick. My Finnick. I wrap my arms around him and he responds in kind, kissing the top of my head. "How'd I get so lucky?" I ask.
Finnick kisses the top of my head again. "I'm the lucky one, really. Never did I think I'd be able to love and be loved by someone so kind and good and strong as you."
I lift my head and meet his gaze. "I feel the same," I say, another smile breaking across my face before I press my lips to his once more, feeling as though I'll never get enough of this.
After about an hour, we make our way back to Mags's house, fingers intertwined as we walk.
Mags lifts her eyebrows when we make it inside and greet her, hands still intertwined. She's standing right in front of the doorway at the end of a long rug, and I wonder if she's been waiting for us and how long. Her arms are crossed over her chest but she's got a big smile on her face. "It's about time," she says, stepping forward to pull us both into a hug.
I laugh, hugging her back and breathing in her clean and familiar scent. "You knew?"
"Child, I knew you two were in love with each other before either of you even knew it. It took just about all my restraint not to pummel Finnick for rejecting you back then," Mags responds, and I take time to understand what it is she's said.
I feel my cheeks flush. "You told her?" I look over at Finnick and he smiles sheepishly.
"I tell Mags everything," he says with the shrug of his shoulder, and I know I could never be mad at him for that. "But she's also the one that helped me get over my fear and realize my feelings for you."
"Thank you, Mags," I say, and kiss her on the cheek.
Never did I think my life could be full of so much love and so much happiness. But standing here in Mags's warm and comfortable home with the two people I love and know my heart is safe with, I feel just that: full.
"Now you two get out of here," Mags says. "I'm sure you've got lots to talk about. And lots of things you want to do that I don't need to be witness to."
We laugh and I take Finnick's hand, letting him lead me back outside.
The End
