Saving Prince James: A James and Sofia Love Story
Set in an alternate universe, James is now 20 and usurped his father as king and conquered every kingdom to create an empire, but he has lived his years as a lonely king with only power and wealth to keep him company. When Cedric summons a banished Sofia, 18, to the castle to secretly save the kingdoms and James, something stirs in James's heart the moment he sees a grown and blossomed Sofia. Can a banished princess save the kingdoms and can a ruthless prince find his way into the heart of a princess he once lost?
Chapter 11: Finding Sofia
James
James was pacing back and forth inside of his room. The heels of his old boots making clicking sounds that echoed all around his silent room. After Baileywick convinced James and everyone else to allow Sofia to have a moment to calm down, James returned back to his room and remained there all day. He was mostly by himself with the occasional servant handing him a tray of lunch and dinner. He was trying hard to make sense of what just happened between Sofia and him.
All day, his mind was only on Sofia and their kiss, no amount of royal paperwork could get her out of his mind as their first kiss kept repeating itself in his thoughts.
He could still remember his initial shock as he felt her lips on his and the joy that ran through his body seconds later. How soft and luscious her lips felt against his and how perfectly her body molded towards his as he crushed her to him. He never wanted to let her out of his arms because she was far too precious for him to do so. He just wanted to keep her there, nice and safe in his arms so to never allow a single harm come to her and just continue to be the only man in the entire world to kiss her.
She just wasn't ready to hear it. That's all, right? James thought, trying to understand as to why she ran away from him.
She admitted that she had feelings for him! She kissed him first and clung to him as their kiss turned passionate. James could still feel how tightly she wrapped her arms around him and how wonderful it felt to have her hands run through his hair. It was all still vivid him his mind, he could still fell her warmth and heat on his body. How warm and sweet her lips tasted on his, that her lips were so plump and swollen as they broke apart just to gasp for air. James remembers seeing the wanting in her blue eyes and recalls the thrill and excitement that coursed through his body when he saw that the wanting was for him. She wanted him just as much as he wanted her!
He finally got to touch her, hold her, and kiss her. They fell asleep in each other's arms! Last night was everything he's been dreaming about for the last three weeks, maybe even longer than that!
But then, this morning was far different than last night.
One moment, they were happily kissing and laughing. It was all a precious and loving moment that would forever be pierced in his mind and heart. He woke up to her in his arms, he was able to see the love in her eyes and felt it in their kiss. She teased and playfully hit him like they were already a perfect couple. He was able to memorize every inch and detail of her body and mouth as he gazed at her in those morning hours they had together. Everything was perfect for him, he finally got his Sofia.
James even found a way to make their entire relationship valid and okay. After realizing that he was in love with her, James was in the library one day and accidentally stumbled on an old Enchancian law textbook. And while just mindlessly flipping through the pages, James found that royal family members, the king especially, can be allowed to marry within the family if they so please. It was like the book purposefully fell into his hands and showed him a solution to his worries; this fact alone made all of his worry about falling in love with his stepsister leave his shoulders and it gave him relief.
And after he learned that she had feelings for him, he just wanted to tell the entire world. She was finally his! He wanted to court her and maybe even marry her. The entire kingdom, the world, the universe needed to know this! That she kissed him and it caused nothing but utter joy and happiness for him. She was his happiness!
It was all so perfect! I was just so stupid enough to say 'I love you' too fast!
And the next thing he knew, she ran out of his room after he told her that he loved her.
The ache and hurt and shock were still there in his heart. James just didn't know what to do when he saw her fly away from his arms and dash out of his study. All he could do was just sit there as the bitter pangs of heartbreak began to sink into him. And after seconds of shock, James ran after Sofia and tried to grab her before she locked herself into her room. He just wanted talk to her, to ask her questions and receive answers from her, that's all.
He cursed at himself for getting so caught up in his emotions to let those words slip out. James knew that he probably said those three words too early in their newly found relationship, but he only wanted to tell her so that she knew.
I said them and she ran, great! He continued to curse at himself. Why did I have to be so stupid and say them so early! Why couldn't I just wait a few more months or years to say them? She just wasn't ready for me to say it, that's all. Right?
He only just realized his feelings for her not three weeks ago and for so long in those three weeks, he has been trying to fight them and resist their urge to grab at Sofia and kiss her until she was breathless. So when she told him and kissed him first, it was all he could think of to do. He wanted to tell her for so long because he realized that he has always been in love with her, it was only just recently did he truly acknowledged it.
Even as a kid, he subconsciously knew that he was in love with her. Ever since they were kids, James and Sofia had made the perfect team. It was only the two of them and he loved every moment where James and Sofia could laugh loud and be together. His realization now only explained why he was so protective of her and wanted to keep her by his side as a kid. Because he loved her.
And now that he's just understood his feelings for her, he just might lose her already.
James just couldn't fathom how quickly the moment turn. He just told her that he loved her. Why would she run away from his words?
Could it be that she can't love you because of the monster in you…?
And James froze. Physically and mentally.
Even though it has been nearly five years since he's last heard that voice in broad daylight, James could recognize it anywhere. Only just recently did that voice return in his nightmares, but then, Sofia was there to save him from its claws. No! No! No! No! How are you back inside of my head?!
She can't love you, James. You're too much of a monster. You honestly think you can be saved?
James hands flew up and over his ears, trying his hardest to not listen to that malicious voice. No! You're wrong! Sofia can save me and she's trying to!
Then why did she run away? Why did she leave you when you told her that you love her?
Maybe she just wasn't ready to hear it!
The voice then laughed loud and harsh at him, as if he was an ignorant child. No, no. It's because she can't love you! Even if she has feelings for you, James, her feelings will never turn into love for you! She can never love someone like you!
No! You're wrong! I know there's hope that she can love me! That she can save me!
You see, maybe that is why she can't love you? You are too dependent on her! How can she love a monster who is so needy and clings to her like she was a life raft?
No! No! No! You're wrong!
Oh really? Then go to her room, demand that she tell you she can love you! That she can save you from your demons! Oh wait, you can't because she refuses to talk to you! The voice continued to mock him. And either way, she already left the palace. She ran away from you, James and, now, she's escaped from the castle because she can't stand the thought of you! Ahaha! Can you believe it? She didn't want a monster like you in love with her!
What? Stop lying! She's in her room; she couldn't and wouldn't have left the castle!
Go and check for yourself then!
And that was exactly what James did. He ran to Sofia's door and pounded on it, calling and yelling for Sofia to answer him. James didn't know how long he kept on hitting and thrashing at her door just so he can hear her voice to prove that voice in his head wrong.
"Sofia! Sofia!" James kept repeating until he felt his throat begin to hurt. "Sofia, please answer me!"
She's not going to answer you, James, because she's not in there. She couldn't stand the thought of loving you so she ran away! The voice continued to cruelly laugh at him.
"James? What's going on? Didn't Baileywick say to leave her alone?" James heard Amber's voice behind him. Turning, he saw that she was flanked with Sofia's and Amber's two personal guards.
"Amber!" James began to panic. "Sofia's not in her room!"
"What?" his twin asked, looking at him like he has lost his mind. "Don't be stupid James. Sofia couldn't have left her room; someone would have told us if she did."
James knew that was true because, after Baileywick shooed them away from her door, both James and Amber had a rare moment where they both agreed with each other to have servants keep an eye on her door and notify them if they see her exit her room.
"I've been pounding on her door for I don't know how long, and she hasn't been answering back to me!"
"Maybe she just doesn't want to talk to you," James heard Cyrus scoff.
Glaring at him, James began to shout louder at the insignificant guard. "Then you try and get her to open her door for you! I bet she won't because she's not in her room!"
"And I bet you she will open her door!" Cyrus angrily seethed at him. "She probably hasn't spoken to you because you did something to her!"
James didn't respond as fast as he would have liked, unable to retort back to the idiot because James knew that it was his fault that Sofia locked herself in her room in the first place. He just got into Cyrus's face and snapped, "you want to say that again you lowly piece of shi –"
"Shut up, you two!" Amber scolded them, stopping their argument short before it got out of hand. "I'll call to her and she'll answer me because I'm her beloved sister."
James and Cyrus continued to glare at each other as the other guard, Edward, moved in between them to prevent the two from fighting with each other and motioned for Amber to go and knock on Sofia's door.
"Sofia?" Amber said after several short knocks. "Hey, it's Amber. Can you please answer back because James is freaking out and keeps on saying that you're not in your room."
James could hear the others hold their breaths as they waited for Sofia to answer back to Amber's plea. And for several minutes, only silence echoed through the quiet hallway.
"Sofia, come on," Amber said, knocking harder on her door. James could hear the fear in her voice. "Sofia, you're scaring me now." Amber got closer to the door and began to jiggle the doorknob. "Sofia, hey –"
Then James heard the doorknob turn and open, revealing Sofia's empty room. Following Amber into her room, James looked around and couldn't find a single clue of where Sofia might be.
"Sofia?" Cyrus called out.
"Sofia! Where are you?" Amber yelled.
And still, silence was their only reply.
Soon, everyone began to look all over her room, from under her bed to inside her bathroom to behind her curtains. Each one of them kept on calling out her name. And the entire time James and everyone else was frantically searching Sofia's room, a fear began to grow within the pit of his stomach.
I told you, James. She left the palace because of you.
No! No! This can be! James began to grow hysterical. He could feel his heart and mind began to break at the same time. Sofia!
"Cyrus! The bag is gone!" Amber screamed from within Sofia's closet.
"What?!" Cyrus exclaimed, running over to Sofia's closet. "How can this be?"
Willing himself to ignore the voice in his head, James ran over to the closet and joined his twin sister to know what's going on. "What bag, Amber?" But the three of them just ignored him.
"You don't think she's…." Amber asked Edward and Cyrus.
"It's possible of the satchel is gone." Edward replied.
"Amber!" James yelled, upset that the three of them were ignoring him like he wasn't there. "What bag?"
James watched as they exchanged nervous glances between them. James even heard a shaky gulp from the Edward guy.
"James," Amber the only one to speak up, "I hid a satchel of supplies for Sofia to use tonight so that she could sneak into the village and go visit her old friends. The bag is now missing and I believe that is where she might be."
"In the village?! At this time during the night?!" James exclaimed shocked. "Amber, do you know how dangerous the village is at night?!"
"Yes, we knew about it, Your Majesty." Cyrus looked firmly at James, "I wasn't going to allow her to go alone, I planned on acc –"
"You knew about this?" James charged at Cyrus, pinning him against the exposed wall in Sofia's closet. James lifted him by the collar of his uniform and angrily spat into his face, "how can you call yourself her personal guard if you were going to allow her to go into the village at night?"
"I was going to go with her!" Cyrus choked out.
"That doesn't make a difference! You should have convinced her not to go!" James could feel his anger mounting again, just like when he fought with Cyrus before and went berserk.
"James!" Amber's voice broke through their argument. "Let him go! We need to focus on finding Sofia!"
"And Amber! Why didn't you just come to me and ask for the coachman? How could you be so stupid and just help Sofia sneak out?!"
"Because you basically forbid her from leaving the castle!" Amber angrily yelled at him as she tried to pry his hands off of Cyrus. Turning him to face her, Amber just glared up at him. "Look, James, we're not going to get anywhere if we just continue to fight with each other. We need to get out there and try to find Sofia before anything bad happens to her."
"You're right," James admitted angrily. With his jaw set, James released Cyrus, mentally satisfied to hear him grunt painfully as he seemed to lose his footing and fell to the floor, and stormed out of the closet. "Amber, since you might know where her friends' homes might be, you go with these two and a team of guards into the village and look for Sofia. I'll stay here and have the staff and remaining guards search the entire castle grounds to see if she's left already or not."
And with a nod, Amber and the two guards run out of the room. James could hear Cyrus bark orders as he made his way down the hallway.
James then quickly informed Baileywick and the other staff members that Sofia has gone missing. He ordered everyone to search every inch of the castle grounds and find her as fast as they can. He and Baileywick interrogate the staff members that was supposed to have kept watch on Sofia's door. James basically yelled at them and questioned how they could have not see her leave her room. James later joined in on the search when news was brought back that she was nowhere inside the castle. Frustrated and afraid, he just yelled at everyone to continue to search and try again.
After several more hours of searching and searching, James later admitted that she couldn't have been inside the palace but still had everyone continue to search. He even widened the search and had more people search the entire castle grounds. James went out into the gardens to try his best to find her, hoping that he'll at least find a clue about where she might be. Outside, he was told by a stable boy that one of the flying horses, Lilac, is gone as well, confirming his fear that she was already up in the air and flying into the night. Away from him….
James didn't know what else to think or do, he couldn't even feel the anger that usually would have erupted at this point. He was just numb and weak at hearing that Sofia might be gone.
No, you fool. She is already gone, James chided himself. She's given up on you because you can't be saved…. Not even the voice could be heard in his head as his heart went cold and he aimlessly walked in the garden. His own tears seemed to have left him, just like Sofia. James let the cold autumn air hit his face as he continued to roam the garden. He didn't even follow the same path that he and Sofia would walk every day; without her by his side, the path only looked empty and uninviting.
Sofia…. My Sofia… she's gone.
While wandering the garden with a heavy heart for what felt like an eternity, James painfully stubbed his foot against a hard stone pillar. Mutely cursing at himself for wearing such old boots, he leaned against the pillar that caused him his pain and tried to rub away the pain in his foot.
Great, now the pain in my foot can match the pain in my chest… James somberly complained.
Looking up, James noticed that he was leaning against one of the busts of his ancestor, King William, his ten-time great grandfather. Surveying his surroundings, James saw that he was below the stone canopy of the royal busts. Above him, the flowers and vines twisted and latched themselves onto the limestone covering of the area. Every pastel color imaginable was blooming in the moonlight all around him as he continued down the path, roses and leaves covered nearly every inch of the white limestone above him.
James remembered being told that his great uncle had this constructed so that it would protect all of the royal busts from the rain and wind. And in those years since it finished construction, the plants and vines grew rapidly and dominated the stone top above.
And even if he was mesmerized by the lush natural beauty of his surroundings and the stony royal busts, he knew what exactly awaited him at the end of the path: his father's bust.
Walking further down the path, James felt like every stony eye was on him as if they were judging him for everything he's done. And James knew he deserved each one of their imaginary stares, whether it be judgmental or not.
James hasn't been back here since his father's death, not even when he had his father's body prompt placed into the family crypt and ordered for his bust to be placed with the rest of the deceased family members' busts. James remembered how he refused to walk by this area for fear of what it might exactly do to his mind.
But now… James had nothing to lose. He already lost Sofia, so why not just go to the exact place that he has always feared to walk past. To just let the pain and fear consume his mind….
And James finally made it in front of his father's bust.
He could see how remarkable the resemblance of the bust was to his father. It was almost an exact match except that the bust's eyes were cold and distant.
Funny, I think that's how he'll look at me if he was still alive and saw exactly what's happened to the kingdom now that I'm king, James thought painfully. Dad… everything I've done till now has been all just crap… I've ruined everything and now even Sofia thinks I can't be saved. She ran away from me and now I'm all alone.
Dad… James looked into the bust's eyes and knew that he what he had to say to it, even if it's not really his father. He just needed to say what he's been neglecting to say for over five years now. I'm so sorry for everything. I never meant to kill you…. Something was controlling me that night. I know that we were a bit on tense terms because of the massive secret you've kept from me and Amber, but I never meant for it to become some grudge. I was ready to forgive you, I was ready to move past it all because Sofia showed me how to….
And soon, memories of five years ago return to him like they happened just yesterday.
It was a cool summer day and James was out playing in the castle's agility course with Sofia, angrily telling her how he felt about their father keeping their mother's true cause of death a secret from him and altering his memories.
"Can you believe him, Sofia?" James shouted as he jumped over the now expanded water moat. "He had the nerve to change my memories so that I forgot about her!"
Since finding his father's notes in the attic and learning that he had an affair which caused his mother to become depressed and soon take her life, James remembered how he confronted his father and demanded answers. But learning the truth did him no good, so he had Cedric restore his memories.
"Well, technically you didn't forget about her," Sofia said as she landed beside him after releasing the rope and readjusting her long ponytail. "You only forgot that she committed suicide."
"No! He had Cedric alter my memories so that I forgot about my mom!" James shouted back at her and instantly regretted it when he saw her eyes grow wide.
James couldn't help but notice that he's been more and more angry at his father since his memories was restored and would take it out on Sofia, the last person who deserved it. It was only Sofia that would offer to hear and help him out whenever he needed a person, but he would constantly end up yelling and shouting at her. She was even there when he had Cedric remove the spell on him and Amber so that he could have his true memories back. She knew just what to say to calm him down, but… something in him would make him get so angry and yell at her, which he never meant to do. And like the angel she is, she wouldn't ever get upset with him for yelling at her.
"Sorry, Sof. I didn't mean to yell at you like that."
"It's alright, James," Sofia said with a slight worried expression. "I know that you're just upset with Dad for keeping this massive secret from you, but you have to see it from his perspective as to exactly why he did it."
"What do you mean? Are you taking his side?" James asked harshly, eyeing her with hard betrayal.
"James," Sofia said with a warning tone. She stopped and looked up at him with her hands on her hips. "No, I'm not taking sides because there are none to take."
"Sofia…" James began, ashamed at how angry he got at her again. He couldn't find it in himself to finish the sentence and admit to her that he only said that because he was afraid that he was going to lose the only person in the entire castle that understood him the best. He just didn't want to lose her, the most perfect girl in all of Enchancia.
Even at only thirteen years-old, Sofia was a rare beauty with mid-length brunette hair that shined and flowed in the sun. Her icy blue eyes and perfect smile always glowed and brightened any day for him.
"I know, James. You're sorry." She said with a gentle smile as she took his hands and led him off to the side of the course and sat him down under an isolated shady tree. "Come on, I think that you've had enough of the course for today and just need to relax."
James remember how he could only nod at her and let her pull him down to her as she sat down on one of the big exposed roots of the tall tree.
"James," Sofia continued on. "Think about it. You told me that you remember being the first one to discover your mother's hanging body and screamed as loud as you could, right? Then Dad arrived on the scene and pulled you away from her room. You remember crying and crying, yelling as to what happened to your mother, right?"
"Yeah, what's your point?" He gazed at her, seeing how beautiful she looked as the sun's lights danced all around her, giving her a crown of yellow light.
"James, I honestly think that Dad only had Cedric change your memories because you were so traumatized from finding your mother hanging herself. I think that he didn't want you to remember her like that and changed your memories so that you would only remember the happy and beautiful woman that she was. He was only trying to protect you and Amber," Sofia said as she held onto his left hand and looked at him with a gentle hope. "James, I'm not saying that you don't have the right to be upset with him. You honestly do, you can yell and shout and just be angry. But can you just try to see it from his side?"
"Yeah… I can see what you're trying to say, Sof," James began. "It's just that…. You see, I'm just…. I just need to be angry, Sof. That's all."
"I know, James, I know." Sofia smiled at him.
"I'm angry that he cheated on my mom, I'm angry that he changed my memories, and I'm angry at myself for being this mad at him…."
"Why are you mad at yourself, James?"
"Because, I want this all to be behind me and him. I just want to move on but I'm so mad at him right now that I can't forgive and just put it all into the past."
"You'll get there, James." Sofia looked at him and gave his hand a tight squeeze. "It just takes time, but you'll learn to forgive him and put this all behind you. You just can't make this into a grudge because then, you won't truly move on."
And with a smile and a small kiss on his forehead, Sofia and James just sat there all day. Isolated from everyone and under a big tree, it was only the two of them in their own sweet world…. That day was perfect for James, he had Sofia by his side while the sun shined on them and illuminated the peace between them.
Dad…. James thought, still gazing at his father's bust. Please forgive me for everything I've done…. I honestly didn't mean any of it…. I'm so sorry….
And in the middle of his self-pitting, James heard a faint but distinct horse neigh followed by someone's whispers.
What the… James thought as he followed the sounds, which seemed to be around the curved corner of the big green wall covered with white and burgundy colored flowers. The walk around the large curve was long and tedious, but James didn't care because he was too occupied with finding out who the voice belonged to. He knew that one was a horse's and later heard a bunny's yipping and snorting.
The closer he got to the voices, the louder and more distinct the person's voice got. He realized that it was clearly a girl's voice, it sounded like it has been crying because it was all choked and thick with obvious tears.
When he finally made it around the long corner, the autumn moonlight illuminated a dark mound further down the green path. And approaching closer and closer, the more clearer the dark mound became as the moonlight shined down on it. With quiet steps so that he wouldn't scare them, James made his way towards the mysterious person and their horse and managed to see a someone who sat at an angle with their back slightly towards him. James could only see a small side of their face from the angle as they looked like they were hugging their knees. The person was facing what looked like a purple horse and a small bunny, which was on top of the horse's back. The person's feminine silhouette confirmed his earlier thought of how the voice must have belonged to a girl.
The horse and bunny was so focused on the girl that they didn't even seem to notice James or hear him in the shadows. She seemed like she was talking to someone, but James couldn't see or hear anyone else there.
By the time he was only a few feet away from the girl, he was able to recognize who exactly she was.
Sofia!
She didn't leave!
She didn't run away!
She's right here!
How could he have not notice thay it was her? It should have been obvious from the way her hair falls behind her in lush, soft wavy lengths and over the delicate curves of her shoulders? How, even in the moonlight, her skin still appeared creamy and silky. And, most importantly, how could James not recognize the velvetiness of her voice, the soft richness that only Sofia can make…. How could he have not realized that the girl he was in love with was the mystery girl right in front of him!
And without a second thought, James made a mad dash for her.
"Sofia!" James cried with joy as he ran towards her. "Sofia! You're here!"
James ran as fast as he could, his feet flying and pounding on the ground at a speed that he felt like it wasn't fast enough to reach her. He just needed to get to her as fast as he could because he wanted to feel like she was real, that his broken heart wasn't playing tricks on his mind.
He saw her quickly turn at the sound of James yelling her name over and over again. And as she turned, he saw something shiny and liquid all over her cheeks an almost stopped in his tracks. The moonlight showed tears running down her perfect cheeks and soon something James made him want to be there right by her side. He wanted to know why she was crying and make the tears stop, to just replace those fallen tears and see her smile instead.
Oh, how he would do anything just to never see her cry again.
You are too dependent on her! How can she love a monster who is so needy and clings to her like she was a life raft? The voice's earlier words echoed in his head. Seeing Sofia's tears, it was like something was telling him that she needed someone right now. Someone who can be there and comfort her in her darkest and lowest moments, someone who she doesn't have to mask her emotions and be free to just be herself with, someone who can shoulder all of her fallen tears and help her carry all of her burdens.
And, right then and there, he was determined that somebody will be him.
Sofia has always been there for me. So, now, I'm going to be there for her. I'll become someone she can depend on and need.
Within a short amount of time, James manage to make it to Sofia's side. Unable to contain himself, James skidded to a stop and fell to the soft green ground beside her, immediately crushing her into his arms. He heard her gasp in shock as he pulled her towards him and wrapped himself around her.
"James?" Sofia yelped into his chest as he pressed her even closer to him.
"Oh crap, Sofia," James breathed into her hair. "You're actually here. You didn't leave!"
"James," Sofia tried to say against him but didn't say much as he began to kiss her hair, her cheek, her neck. Her entire face, basically.
"You're okay. You're here," James said in between the kisses.
"James, how did you find – " Sofia tried to pull away but wasn't able to fight against James's strength.
James just continued to kiss and hug her tighter until he felt himself grow frustrated and mad at her for causing him to worry.
"Shit, Sofia! Where the hell have you been?! Why the hell did you just disappear like that?!" James pulled away and glared at her, frantically yelling and asking her questions. "Have you been here the entire time? Do you realize that the entire castle has been searching for you for the last three or four hours?! Everyone is worried sick! Amber! Me! Even that Cyrus idiot is worried sick about where you are! Amber and your two guards are out there right now trying to find you! Sofia! Answer me! Where the hell have you been and what have you been doing this entire time?!"
James knew that he has been griping her shoulders a bit too hard just by how white his knuckles began to turn, but he didn't care because he was too upset with her. And somewhere inside of him, he understood that his fierce grip because he was afraid of her running away again. He just wanted to make sure that she was real and this wasn't some trauma-induced illusion.
"Sofia!" James yelled at her, frustrated that she still hasn't said a word. All she did was look at him with shocked, red swollen eyes, tears still pouring down her cheeks. "Sofia, answer me!"
And the next thing he knew, Sofia rushed forward and buried her face into his chest, sobbing long and hard.
"James," Sofia said in between her loud sobs. "I-I-I'm so-so sor-rrry. I ju-jusst ne-eeded to –" Her voice broke and her sobs came harder and thicker.
And just like that, all of his frustration and anger at her melted away. James knew exactly why it did, that his love for her would always outweigh his frustration and irritation for her. His arms then wrapped around her and just held her again, rubbing her back as a way to soothe her.
"Okay… okay… okay. I'm sorry that I yelled at you. It's okay… it's okay…."
Sofia didn't say anything else as she just continued to cry into his chest. James could feel her tears soak into his thin shirt, but he didn't care because she was back in his arms and clinging to him. She was real. She was back.
James didn't know how long they stayed like that, her crying into his arms as he cradled her. It was just the two of them, in their own little world again. And he wanted to savor this moment, where it felt like she needed him, like he was someone she could depend on.
But something in him gave James an entirely different feeling.
It told him that up until now, James has been nothing but selfish, that the voice inside of him has been right this entire time.
All this time, James has been only thinking about himself and totally neglecting Sofia and what she needed most. That the only thing that kept running through his head was just what he wanted and needed and asked for out of Sofia. James realized that since Sofia's return, all he's been saying to her was that he needed her to save him and not once did he ask about what she needed out of him. That Sofia had every right to be angry and frustrated with him because it's been only her that's been doing all of the heavy lifting in their relationship. That she's been working hard trying to understand him and his issues, and James had the nerve to try and wimp-out on telling her the entire truth about that night and the voice inside his head.
James understood now that he's been nothing but selfish and a coward.
And even in his moment earlier, when he decided that he'll become someone she needed, he was still being selfish because, in some twisted way, James knew that he was only doing it for himself.
I can't continue on like this, James thought. For so long, I've been nothing but just a crying, dependent baby that would just whine whenever Sofia's not by my side. That has to change. I need to change.
James finally understood now, what Sofia has been trying to teach him. That he needs to become independent and try to stand on his own two feet as a king. I need to change and grow and utilize everything that Sofia has been trying to help me with. And I'm going to do this for her.
A determination grew within the pit of James's stomach. A new and profound desire to change and grow and to prove to Sofia that everything that she's done for him won't be a waste.
But at the moment, looking down at her right now, James had another realization.
Sofia didn't need someone to depend on. No, she just needed someone to hold and cry to and for someone to hold her in return.
She didn't need a knight or a prince or even a king. She just needed a real person to hold her as she cried.
And James understood now. That was what he needed to be for her, a simple person who cared about her and be there to hold her.
After her sob ended and she now just sniffled into his shirt, James shifted and moved himself to lean against the giant leaf wall and cradled Sofia against his chest as she sat in between his legs. He felt her shift her head and right shoulder to a more comforting position and so that it wouldn't hurt him as he held her tightly to him.
"James," Sofia broke their silence, her voice so tiny and hoarse after crying. "I'm sorry that I left."
James didn't answer or reply right away. He was just too happy to have her back in his arms, but something kept persisting its way to the front of his mind, demanding itself to be answered. "Did you leave because I told you that I love you?" James asked meekly, afraid of what her answer might be.
"…Kind of," she answered so quietly that he almost didn't hear her utter the words. Relief and fear both began to seep into his heart. "One reason I snuck out was that I needed to give Ruby, Jade, and Lucinda their invitations to the ball. But, James, another reason I left was because I just couldn't stand being suffocated in that castle. The pressures and stress of it all was getting to me and I just needed to get away for just a moment. I just needed to find a place to breathe and talk to someone who could help me understand my feelings for you. It wasn't like I was running away and never returning."
"And do you understand it now? ...Your feelings for me?"
"…Kind of," she repeated, but he could hear a small smile spread on her lips. "A couple of my friends helped me realize that I do like you, James. A lot. I like and care about you way more than any kind of sister should," and hearing that, James's heart began to swell and surge with a forceful desire to kiss her. "And I hope that someday I can find myself falling in love with you and love you the way you love me."
"Wait," James said, his swelling heart decreasing just a bit. "'Someday'?"
"Yeah, James," Sofia said as she turned to look up at him and gently pressed her hand on his chest. "James, I'm still trying to figure out my feelings for you and, as of right now, all I can understand is that I like you a lot. A lot, a lot. Don't get me wrong, James. I want to fall in love with you and be able to say it to you and only you. But right now, I'm just not ready to say it back to you."
"Is that why you ran away this morning?" James asked, his voice thick and heavy with emotion, as he cupped one of her cheeks with his hand and looked down at her.
"Honestly, yeah. James, you just threw me for a curve ball and totally wigged me out when you told me you love me. You were moving our relationship so fast and I just wasn't ready for it. I mean, I just had my first kiss with you not even a few hours before you decided to tell me that you love me. Just give me time James and maybe someday I can feel it in me to say it back to you." In the moonlight, James could see her raw and pure emotions run through her eyes as she gazed up at him and smiled hopefully. "James, I'm not ready to give up whatever we have and I'm sure as hell not going to give up on you. Let's just take this new relationship slow and easy for a while okay? Just until I can be sure that what I feel is the same love you feel for me."
James could feel himself growing a big and goofy smile, but he didn't care. He was just too happy to hear that Sofia wants to fall in love with him. She wants to love him! She can see herself being able to love him!
Not knowing what else to do, James just started to laugh and lowered his head so that their foreheads were touching. "Okay," he whispered back. "Does that mean we can still kiss and whatnot?"
Laughing back at him, Sofia nodded and gave him a small kiss. "Yes, we can still kiss. But only in private, I'm still not ready to tell anyone about our relationship yet."
"Deal," James smiled down at his beautiful and precious princess. "And since you apologized, I guess it's my turn now."
"What do you mean?"
"Sof," James began. "I'm sorry that I tried to move this relationship too fast. I was honestly just so happy that you admitted that you kind of felt the same way as I do that I just needed to tell you what exactly I felt about you. Because, Sof, I think I've been in love with you ever since we were kids and I've wanted you for so long that I just can't imagine my life without you anymore. And I guess my feelings for you just became so much that it made me spit out the words so early in this relationship. Sof, I just wanted you to know, that's all."
The entire time James spoke and poured himself out for her, Sofia just looked up at him speechless.
"But, Sof, I can wait. I can wait until you're ready to hear it again so that when I do say it to you, you won't freak out like you did this morning and instead kiss me happily. I promise you, Sofia, I won't say it until you ask me to. And that you're nothing but sure that you want to hear it."
And without any words, James watched her eyes grow misty again as both of her hands cup his cheeks and pull herself up to him until their lips met. The kiss began to spark fireworks in James and he wanted more out of it. He wanted so much more, but, to his dismay, their kiss didn't last long as they both heard a horse neigh and a little bunny's yipping.
Turning his head, James saw that the purple horse and white bunny was still there on the floor beside them.
"And who are these guys?" James asked playfully, looking over at his blushing Sofia.
"Oh," Sofia said with a giggle. "This horse's name is Lilac, while this little bunny here is named Blue. They were the animals that helped me sneak out and into the village." Softly giggling some more, Sofia then began to talk to the horse and small bunny, "Lilac, you can go back to the stables now. Blue, follow her. I promise I'll come by to pick you up later."
And without any hesitation, the two animals got up and walked back around the corner towards the busts.
"Well, you always did have a way with animals," James said, astonished at how obedient the horse and bunny was to Sofia. James remembered how she was always followed by a bunch of animals and how well they would always respond to her like she understood them and they understood her. Her relationship with animals was always on a whole other level that no one could understand.
But after hearing more of Sofia's giggles, James looked over at his still blushing princess. Seeing that she was biting her lips made everything in his mind disappear except for one thought: to kiss her until she was breathless. James then started to smile mischievously at her. "Well, now where were we?"
"Oh, I don't know, James," Sofia teased. "I honestly can't remem –"
James didn't let her finished as his lips soon possessed hers, exploring her lips and mouth like the kiss was something new. But it felt familiar and old at the same time, like they've been doing this their entire lives. And James couldn't get enough of it.
Even though the kiss was intimately passionate and heavy, James could tell there was gentleness to their kiss. Their passion and wistfulness didn't overpower their kiss; instead, the largest part of it was the kind and caring way they kissed one another. They didn't grab at each other like they were trying to find something more within the kiss. No, they pulled and kissed each other like they already found it and was trying to keep it in place.
James and Sofia kissed until they needed to break for breath. And after that, they simply sat there lovingly in each other's arms under the stars.
Chapter eleven! Woo!
Continuing what I've been saying in my other author's note in the last chapter, I just wanted to apologize at how long this took me to upload. I know that I said that I would put out two chapters after the whole mess was fixed, but it got fixed really fast (thank you support team) while I was only like in the middle of chapter eleven. I didn't even show it to my friends, who are also my kind-of beta readers, to review and edit. And when I actually did, I had to change the entire chapter because the both of them didn't correlate well with the previous chapters. I didn't want to give you guys crappy chapters, so I took this whole time to fix up and redo both chapters. I'm really sorry you guys. Please don't hate me.
On another note, if you read my last author's note in the last chapter, you would know that I had to remove a character. since I've had to fix the two chapters and change things around, I realize that a character of mine had to be axed and the ball had to be pushed back to chapter 12 and 13. Don't worry, it's not a TV character. It's my own OC. Anyway, the reason I've brought this up is because I actually have a challenge for you all, my dear readers. If you want me to tell you in my own review as who exactly this axed character is, then review and tell me. If I see a lot of reviews demanding that I tell you all and why I should, then I will. Again, send in a REVIEW, not a PM (private message), telling me to give up the details of this mystery character WITH with a good reason, then I will. I might even give a shout out to the reviews with the best reasons!
Good luck you guys!
As always, read, review, etc.
Thanks :)
