Tales of the Falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

ANNOUNCEMENT!

I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!

SUMMARY:
On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!

The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.

...III...

Gamelover41592: 1. thank you. 2. Eh, it makes for a good story. 3. oh, yeah. 4. Yep.

..Responses..

Wendy groaned as she went to town...

Wendy was NOT looking forward to seeing Dipper again, what had she been thinking? True, she'd felt bad for Dipper's predicament- but streaking with an underage boy!? It was a miracle she hadn't been arrested again! Seriously, why had she done that? She'd had a weird feeling of lack of inhibition during that night...like when she'd been drunk...but she hadn't had any alcohol! She'd been avoiding that around Dipper just to avoid this exact sort of thing!

...earlier...

Robbie chuckled as he poured booze into the punch bowl, "I'll be a party hero!" He says to himself as he walks away...only to then find out his bike had been stolen...no one noticed Wendy taking the first drink...and getting buzzed very quickly due to her low tolerance from lack of drinking as much...or her stumbling to join Dipper at the ticket booth when a certain blonde showed up...

...

Fortunately it was Pioneer day...which ordinarily she would avoid due to the whole 'Northwest' situation, but since she knew Stan hated it with a passion she knew that here was the least likely place to see Dipper...also, it was her turn to get groceries for the house...

THEY'RE CIRCLING THE WAGONS!

Wendy groaned from the sound of a familiar crotchety voice, "No! It couldn't be!" But it was...the Pine family was here! Wendy about-faced and immediately headed back home! Dad could get his own dang bacon!

"Wait, Wendy! Hold up!" Wendy moaned, "Hello, Dipper."

"Yeah...I'm kinda wondering what exactly happened last night?" Asked Dipper flustered and confused.

Wendy tried to play it cool, "Uh...what do you mean? We danced the night away, shared a keg of beer...and everything get's hazy after that." Lied Wendy smoothly.

Dipper gives her a 'look', "Uh...huh...so mind explaining to me HOW Tambry got these pictures and sent them to me then?" Asked a skeptically annoyed Dipper as he pulls out his phone that shows numerous pictures of their 'hi-jinx' last night!

Wendy groaned, "Dang it Tambry!"

"Wendy...seriously...what's going on here? I'm getting...Very weird...very mixed signals here...and I freely admit...I suck with girls even on the best of situations- which this ISN'T."

Wendy just rubbed her head frustrated...but comes to a decision... "Okay, let's talk...but not here-

She takes him to an isolated place and explains to him, "Look Dipper...ever since you came here...I've been very...attracted to you..."

Dipper gaped, "I, wha-

"But it's wrong! What were doing is wrong! I never should've encouraged this! Your way too young and I need to accept it, no matter how sexy and cuddly your noodle-arms... your scrawny body...your hairless scrotum... your needle dick..and your even smaller balls..." wendy begins to fluster and drool... She quickly shook her head, "NO! THIS IS WRONG! SO VERY WRONG!

Dipper was also flustered...he knew he should be mortified...but apparently his 'shortcoming's' turned her on? So...that was...good? ...he had no idea how to react to this!

Snapping them out of their thoughts was the sudden booming voice of Preston Northwest.

"Hello everyone, unfortunately my darling daughter was called away for an emergency...charity...for blind...orphans! Yes, that'll do."

"We, totally buy that!" Shouted Blubs happily. "Yes, of course you do." Said Preston dryly. "In any case, it's now me who has the honor of being the master of ceremony on this glorious anniversary of when MY family founded our wonderful town!"

Wendy rolled her eye's, "Yeah...'founded' on the sacrifice of others and betrayal." Said Wendy annoyed as Preston went on and on about how 'great' his family was and how the town 'owed' them everything.

Dipper eye'd her confused, "You had this same reaction to his daughter...what is with you and their family?"

Wendy sighed and told him the whole sad tale...how her family and several other lumberjack clans were promised a grand party by Nathaniel Northwest if they gave him the mansion he desired. It took many winters and many lives...but they lumberjacks upheld their end of the bargain...only to have the door slammed in their face. Worse, with so many trees uprooted for the mansion, the ensuing mudslides killed most who survived...and every year since then...the Northwests CELEBRATED their exclusion of the poor on the anniversary of the deaths of so many...

Wendy was in tears at the end of it...

Dipper was stunned...he turned back and glared at the man who boasted his family's 'accomplishments'..and came to a decision.

"The journal mentioned something about the Northwests...let's give it a look. Wendy looked at him confused, "Dipper why are you-

"Wendy, I know things are weird between us now, but weird or not your still my friend...and I will help you."

Stunned by this, Wendy didn't know what else to do...but follow this boy who had become so important to her...

And then she realized... "Wait, where's Mable?"

...Meanwhile...

RETCH!

Mable spewed into the trashcan as more and more flying Quadcopter's flew by her and projected images of her naked brother... "WHO!? WHO WOULD TORTURE ME LIKE THIS!?" Screamed Mable between vomiting.

In the shadows, Mable's new 'friend' took notes. "Hour 5, subject still reacts negatively to images of her brother in the nude...I will now proceed to level two antagonism!" She presses buttons and Mable was assaulted by the sight of numerous holographic images of a naked brother doing a go-go dance!

"GAH! MAKE IT STOP!" Screamed Mable as she tried to claw out her eye's...

...

Later, at the library. Dipepr and Wendy studied the journal. "Okay, this map has the alchemist element of fire on it...so we'll set it on fire."

"Wait, but isn't it like our only clue?" Asked Wendy concerned. "Don't worry, the author had a spell that restores burnt pages if you prepare them in advance right." He dips it in the solution he just wiped up...after making sure the incantation was pronounced right...he proceeds to burn it-

GREETINGS FELLOW TRUTH SEEKER! THE SISTERHOOD OF THE WOODPECKERS GREET YOU!

Shouts the flaming image of a giant woodpecker that just burst from the pages...

Wendy and Dipper gaped...

BY DECIPHERING THE CLUE IN A WAY THAT DID NOT DESTROY KNOWLEDGE- more importantly you didn't do something ridiculous like make it into a paper hat -You will be given the REAL path, not the false path that Trembly set up to lure away the unworthy!

"Trembly?" Asked Wendy confused.

A GOOD- if odd -MAN, HE TOOK THE BURDEN OF PRETENDING TO BE THE 'TRUE' FONDER OF GRAVITY FALLS, SO THE REAL FONDER COULD ESCAPE PERSECUIT- But I cannot say more here! Too many ears! We must talk elsewhere!"

Dipper and Wendy quickly do just that...while a hiding Blubs and Durland just look stunned, they then flick on their secret radio, "Yeeaahhh...we quit, this is WAY above our comfort zone, were going home..." The turned off the radio and crushed it beneath their feet before their former employer could get a word in edgewise.

...?...

The director sighed, "There's no choice then...Call Northwest, tell him everything, were going to plan B."

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!

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