Betrayals, Truths and Family
Chapter 12: A Mother Talks to a Son
Harry was sitting in the garden, his back leaning against a tree, and his knees pulled close to his chest. After breakfast he decided he needed some time alone. He didn't know why, a large part of him really didn't want to be alone. He needed his dad, he needed Draco. But at the same time he needed to be alone. For a little while anyway.
It felt like he didn't even know himself anymore.
Not that he really knew himself anyway.
He had never had the chance to figure himself out. And it stung. But everything was more confusing now. Everything he knew had been a lie. Well, almost everything. He was still related to his relatives. But he didn't have to live with them all those years.
He could have been… should have been loved.
He should have been cared for.
He should have had a normal childhood.
Not that he knew what a normal childhood was. In the muggle world, or in the magical one.
It worried him.
How could he give his future children a normal, loving childhood, if he didn't know how to?
It terrified him.
But then, he didn't know anything, did he?
Everything he did know had been a lie.
He wasn't completely human. He could get pregnant. He was going to be a mother one day. He was going to have a mate.
Dumbledore hated him.
Molly hated him.
He was going to be forced to compete in a death tournament.
He didn't know if he could do this anymore to be completely honest with himself.
He didn't know if he wanted to.
Someone sat next to him quietly and he couldn't stop the flinch that emitted from his body.
He looked to his side to find Narcissa sitting next to him, looking at him with worried and apologetic eyes.
"Sorry for scaring you, Harry," she said gently.
"No worries," Harry said.
"How are you feeling, Harry?"
"I don't know," he shrugged, looking back at the garden before him. It really was beautiful, and certainly the largest garden that he had ever seen.
"That is completely understandable," she said, "A lot has changed for you lately,"
"Too much,"
"Indeed. But you aren't alone now, Harry. You have your father, your grandfather, your friends. Plus Draco, Lucius and I are all going to be staying here for the rest of the summer,"
"Really? Why?" Harry said, not stopping the smile from lighting up his face as his head spun to her.
"Yes. Draco doesn't want to leave you. And, well, neither do Lucius or I. Severus and Tom have caught us up on what's happened, and I don't want to leave you to deal with it on your own. Not that you are on your own, but the more people you have around you, helping you, the better,"
Harry blushed, "I'm fine,"
"No, you're not," Harry wanted to protest but she cut him off, "Harry, your whole life has just been turned on its head. You just found out you have a living father. That the man you thought was the Dark Lord is your grandfather and that he doesn't want you dead. That you are a Veela. That you can get pregnant. That you will have a mate. That you didn't have to spend your childhood with abusive relatives. That the people you used to love and thought loved you are actually using you. You are not okay. But that is okay. We are all here to help you, we aren't going anywhere,"
"I… What is it like? Being pregnant?" he asked, not sure what else to say, and he truly did want to know.
She smiled at him, knowingly, "It is the most amazing thing in the world," she said, her eyes beaming, "Yes, there are some aches, pains, and sickness, as well as labour. But all those things mean nothing compared to everything else. There is nothing that can be compared to feeling your child's magic within you, to be able to feel them grow, move, kick, hiccough. And then they are born and everything just fades away when they are placed on your chest and you get to hold them for the first time. Having a child is the most magical thing in the world. Lucius and I wanted to have more than Draco, but, well, there have been some complications since. He is amazing, though. The most precious gift in the world is your child,"
Harry smiled, his hand finding its way to his stomach. Though the worry still ate at his mind he honestly couldn't wait for the day where he would become a mum.
"Erm… how… How do I give my children a normal childhood? How do I not become… them?" Harry asked, his head looking down at his stomach, there was a slight quiver in his voice.
"Harry, I don't think there is really a 'normal' childhood. Everyone raises their children differently. What works for one family might not work for another. Yes, there are some things that a lot of families do, but there are also a lot of differences out there in the way children are raised. But, so long as you love your children, so long as you show them you care, that you are there for them. That is all that matters. That is a normal childhood. Being loved, cared for, looked after. Knowing that no matter what, your parents will love you. That is normal. And I have no doubts that you will love your children, Harry. Despite everything you have been through, and continue to go through, you still love people, care about people, look after people. You are amazing, strong, brave. And I know that you will be an amazing mother. You also need to know that you won't be alone. You will have your mate, your family, your friends all with you to support you,"
"I know… I just… I'm scared. I don't want to hurt them,"
"I understand that, Harry. But just the fact that you are scared of doing to your children what your relatives did to you, the fact that you love your children enough already to be scared… that is what shows me you are going to be a wonderful mother, Harry,"
"How can you be so sure, though? I… I'm not good. I… I'm a freak. I make bad things happen. I…"
"You are not a freak, Harry. You are not a bad person. You are a good person. Draco told me a little snippet of your conversation earlier, he told me that you wouldn't think your son was a freak if he was a submissive veela. He told me how defensive you got of your stomach, of your children, even though they aren't even here yet. That… That is what shows me how wonderful you are, Harry. How wonderful you will be. And I know it is going to take you a long time to believe any of us when we tell you these things. But we aren't ever going to stop telling you we love you, that we care, that you aren't a freak, that you are a good person. Even when you eventually do believe us,"
"It's hard,"
"I know, Harry. But you have time. You are only fourteen after all. No matter how old you get, though, we will continue to tell you all those things and more,"
"How do I believe you when I've been taught, well, everything else my whole life?" Harry asked, because he wanted desperately to believe them all when they told him they loved him, that he wasn't a freak. Draco was right when he said that if Harry didn't consider anyone else with his abilities a freak, then why was he? But how could he believe that? How could he believe them? He didn't know.
Everything was so confusing.
"I don't know, Harry. I wish I did, but you need to figure things out for yourself sometimes. We will be here to help you, though. No matter what. Just know that, one day, you will believe us. We won't give up, and we hope that you won't either,"
"I… I'll try not to,"
"That is all any of us can do,"
"Do… Do you think my mum would… Would she love me? Would she be proud of me?"
"Oh, Harry. I am sure that Lily loves you more than anything else in the world. And I am sure that she is so incredibly proud of you, of everything you have already accomplished, and everything you will continue to accomplish,"
"But I haven't done anything," Harry said, confused.
"Harry, I know about all the things you have experienced at school so far, and I am proud of the way you have gotten through them. I am proud of the way you have handled the current events. And I am proud that you are such an amazing person despite all the pain that has been inflicted on you so far in your short life,"
"I'm a mess,"
"It may seem like that right now, when you are still figuring everything out. But one day, things won't seem as messy. I promise,"
Harry nodded, not sure what else to say as he looked back at the garden.
"Would you like to hear some stories about Draco's childhood? I can tell you the funny ones?" Narcissa asked after a few minutes of silence between the two.
Harry looked at her and saw that she had a glint of mischief in her eyes and just knew he had to know what she was thinking about. He also just needed to know more about Draco.
"Yes, please," he said, nodding eagerly, turning slightly so that he could look at her better.
And she dove in with stories about Draco as a child. Harry hadn't laughed so hard in, well, ever really. Some of those stories left Harry's stomach hurting with how much he laughed at them. He was excited to know more about his friend.
He had to admit, though, that it left him longing for Draco to be his mate even more, and for their children if they were mates. He could just imagine a mini Draco with his eyes running around the house doing those things and Draco's face beaming as he watched.
Harry would be beaming, too.
When they went in for lunch and Draco came up to them to see if he was okay, he couldn't stop the bright smile from lighting up his face as he leaned in and whispered, "How was it being King of Nappyville? Was it fun?" into his ear.
He chuckled slightly when he pulled back and saw the angry blush on Draco's cheeks as the blonde glared at his mother, who just smiled cheekily at him.
"Mother, what lies have you been telling him?" Draco practically growled.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Little Dragon. I wouldn't tell Harry any lies about you," she said, an almost evil grin on her face, "Just all the little things you did as a child,"
"All of them?" he groaned.
"All of them," she nodded.
"Even…"
"Even that, yes," she said, "But Harry doesn't seem to mind, dear. In fact, he found them about as amusing as your father and I did,"
"So hilarious, then," Draco cried.
"Yep. You were such a funny child, Draco. What happened?" Harry chuckled as Draco stepped forwards, growling, and wrapped his arms around Harry, who held him, too.
"Promise me you won't tell anyone, Harry,"
"Oh, I don't know, Dray, I think this is some pretty good material. Who knew you were such a comedian?"
"Harry," Draco breathed into his ear, "This is serious. It will completely ruin my reputation if you tell anyone about this,"
"Well, maybe I think you need a different reputation. People can't be hating you all the time, it isn't right. You are a good person, who is very funny, and people deserve to see that side of you. You deserve to not have to hide behind masks,"
"Harry, please, don't tell anyone," Draco practically begged.
"And what will you do for me to not tell anyone? Because I think my dearest friends Fred and George would love some new ideas…"
"Anything," Draco interrupted, "I will do anything you want me to. Just please, don't tell anyone,"
Harry pulled back, "You will do anything," Draco nodded desperately, "Hmm…" Harry said, stepping back and looking deep in thought as he started walking towards the dining room. He noticed that Narcissa was trying to hold in her chuckles as Draco followed him, desperately.
"I will have to think about it, Draco. I don't really know what I want from you, yet," Harry said as he entered the dining room.
"Harry," Draco cried desperately.
"Dragon," Harry said back as he sat down next to his dad, who looked at them questioningly as Draco and Narcissa sat down.
"Please," Draco said.
"I said I would think about it," Harry said, smiling slightly at him.
"Fine," Draco huffed, "But you better be quick,"
"We'll see," Harry said, grinning at Draco's half hearted glare.
Hiya, how are you all?
I hope you all had an amazing weekend and got everything you desired, you all deserve it for being the amazing human beings you are. I also hope you enjoyed this chapter. I would be very interested in knowing what you think is going to happen in future chapters, or what kinds of things you would like to see.
Also, I am somewhat bored and am for some reason intrigued to learn what your assumptions of me are. Don't ask me why. I am just intrigued to know what you think about me. So I am going to ask random questions with each chapter and if you feel like leaving a comment with what you think then I will happily read them. So, first question, how old do you think I am? I don't know why this is the first question I want to ask, but hey ho, we'll go with it. My answer will be in the next chapter. But I am intrigued to know how old people think I am based on my writing and such. I think I might have mentioned it in some of my other fanfics but I honestly can't remember, so, we'll see if people know. I think this might be a nice little game to play.
I also have a Facebook group called Maraudering_Paige which you are all welcome to join if you would like to and are able to. It is where we can talk about Harry Potter, fanfics, life, share memes and more. It is also where I have somewhat of an update schedule and will be keeping you up to date on what I am working on, both fanfics and original works. So if you are interested I will accept you into the group.
I hope you are having an amazing day!
Kind regards,
Paige xx
