Tales of the Falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

ANNOUNCEMENT!

I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!

SUMMARY:
On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!

The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.

...III...

..Responses..

Gamelover41592: Why not both?

Fox Boss: (shrug) Eh, haven't decided yet

...

Wendy controlled her blush as she streaks through the busy Bargin-Mart, normally she'd be mortified by this weekly check-up...but this time-

"Hey, sweet stuff? How about you-

ZAP!

-This time she had back-up. Dipper was zapping perverts left and right with a size altering stone he'd read in his journal, also throwing many spells that he learned in the journal-

"Hey, sweet cheeks-

FIREBALL!

"Hey cutie! Yah wanna-

LIGHTNING BOLT!

"Hey-

"FREEZE BLAST!"

"GAH! I WAS JUST GOING TO GREET YOU TO COME INTO THE STORE!"

Screamed the now half-frozen greeter.

But they were too busy running to hear him, Wendy was liking this...True, she was still embarrassed, still naked, the sudden freak rise of temperature burning her feet, blistering her skin...but Dipper by her side made it more bearable...

Ignoring the whispers, catcalls and photos taken of her, she goes to get her bracelet 'tested'...by waiting three hours in the long-ass line! Wendy graoned, she wanted to get this over with as soon as possible-

"HEY WENDY! HOW'S MY WINNER DOING!?" Wendy moaned as Mr. Lenderman showed up out of nowhere, "Hello, my dear. I think we can skip the test today, we got something more exciting for you! Also, Dipper, you attack me I'm allowed by law to have my army of goons rough up and arrest you both."

Said the man without ever breaking his smile, stride, or even looking back as Dipper had come behind him to whack him in the head. Dipper pauses, looks behind him to see said army of goons...and drops the bat in resigned defeat.

"There's a good lad, part of today's challenge I'm gonna give your lady-friend the chance to earn another billion to your prize at the end of the summer!"

Wendy sighed, "Okay, I'll bite...what's the catch?"

Mr. Lenderman laughed, "Ah, nothing like a street-smart, jaded youth to give one hope of a better tomorrow! To answer your question: no real catch...you just need to go through this 7-mile spanking machine!"

He shouts while pointing to a large line of people who looked eager to spank anyone that crawled between their legs. Wendy sighed, "And if I refuse to do this?"

"You forefit all your other prizes and have to stay naked all summer for free!"

"...Right...of course...what was I thinking?" Said Wendy sarcastically...she gives a small wimper...gets on her hands and knees...starts to crawl...and-

SLAP!

OW!

SLAP!

SON OF A NUT!

SLAP!

HEY! NO RINGS!

Dipper gaped at this in horror, "why do some people find spanking arousing!? This is just terrible! SHE'S IN PAIN!" Cried Dipper desperately.

"Yes, she is! And that pain is brought to you by our sponsor: KillMableKill! Killing annoying and parasitic Karma Houdini relatives since when I founded it!" Exclaimed Mr. Lenderman.

"Wait, what was that?" Asked Dipper, but the man was already gone...

KRAKA-BOOM!

And a freak lightinign storm was tearing everything up around them!

...

Wendy let out a moan of pleasure, "Thanks Dipper...your a life-saver." She said happily. Dipper continued to blush as he massaged her rear end with a special 'health restoration spell' he found in the journal...he was going to get SO Many 'special dreams tonight! The weather had also suddenly gotten very pleasant...

Dipper continued to blush as she began to talk; "Uh, listen...Wendy? It turns out in my hast to get you a spell to help your...(gulp)'hair' be untangled from the bush, I overlooked a part where it says the razor spell well actually make the hair in that...(wimpier) 'area' grow faster, I'm sorry, I should've-

"Relax Dipper, no harm no foul..you just need to shave it for me again- "WHAT!?" Exclaimed Dipper stunned. Wendy broke free from her pleasureful stupor to realize what she'd just said! "Er- I mean me! YEAH! I'll shave it is what I mean! "Wendy chuckles nervously, "Right I think my buts good enough!" She quickly gets back up.

Dipepr gulps... "Uh, now might not be the best time to say this...bu that guy told me to tell you that you have an additional challenge: Get a picture of a Goblewonker."

Wendy sighed irritably, "Well...can't be worst then the last thing, right?"

Dipper discretely 'knocks on wood' to hopefully undo the jinx she had unwittingly set in motion. He then gets a thoughtful look, "Wait...wasn't there something else I needed to do today...?"

...

"I now pronounce you gnome conglomerate and Naked girl hostage!"Exclaimed the hot elf preacher. "TESTIFY!" Exclaimed the congregation in the forest chapel. "DIPPER, WHERE ARE YOU!?" Exclaimed a naked Mable as she was dragged of to the 'Honeymoon suite'..

...

Mr. Lenderman pops up, "Hey, come on. If you can't remember what it was, how important could it have been?" He snaps his fingers.

Dipper eyes glaze over, "Yes, clearly not important...I'll just forget about it now and help Wendy." He says in a monotone fashion before walking over to Wendy as she walks to the beach...

Mr. Lenderman turns to the readers and winks...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!

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