Tales of the Falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

ANNOUNCEMENT!

I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!

SUMMARY:
On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!

The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.

...responses...

Gamelover41592: Thank you

ImperialStar: Interesting...Thank you, I'll try to fit that in.

WillVanry: 1. Agree to disagree. 2. I'll take your word on that. 3. (shrug) Yeah, my earlier work wasn't great. 4. thank you. 5. Well, thanks for giving me a shot! Apreciate it! Have a good life, God bless you!

...III...

Northwest listen to the agent over the phone, "Really? Well that's annoying, fine I'll clean up YOUR mess..but I expect double our yearly 'hush money' stipend."

He puts down the phone and rubs his head, "First that brat vanishes, then I have to lower myself to mingle with the commoners, now this? I have more important things to do then deal with this nonsense!"

He flips through his roledex, "Let's see...accountants...aquifers...ah! Assassins! ...Oh! Under thirty minute delivery or the assassination is free! Excellent!" He quickly makes the call-

...

And so this 'sister of the woodpecker' tells how the Gravitatus Fallius Tribe once inhabitated this valley...and how one of their number- a wicked shaman -made a covenant with 'The Beast with One Eye'...he tried to create a mystic portal of wood, blood and amber dragon teeth that would allow this devil to invade this plane of existence. However, during the acrtivation process he accidentally brough a powerful red headed white woman from a distant land through it by mistake. The woman not only defeated the shaman but forced him to destroy the portal in such a way it bound 'The Beast' to a mystic wheel that once complete could defeat him permanently.

The woman became a great leader of the natives- white man, native, and magic creature alike came together to form the village what would one day become Gravity Falls.

But one Day trouble brewed, Quentin Tembly came to their land ridding a horse backward off a cliff-

"I'm sorry, what?" Asked Dipper confused.

"Trust me, don't question it, just roll with it." Said the spirit woman

He warned how the leaders of the white man were coming to steal our land and slaughter us all if they had to. Quentin concocted an elaborate plan to seal the natives and many voluntary white men/women in peanut brittle and fake their deaths. The magical creatures would retreat to the forest and hide their existence. And Trembly and a select group of white's would stay behind, pretend to be the 'true' founders of Gravity falls, fight a losing battle to keep the valley from the governments hand and leave a false trail to further confuse those would try to kill us.

After being defeated, Trembly's existence was covered up and a wicked man pretending to be an incompetent dung shovler tricked the government to let him have all the fame and glory...Nathaniel Northwest...

...oh, and they also learned the origins of woodpecker marriages: In ancient times, woodpeckers were powerful spirits that wedded humans...Trembly's...'attempt' to keep the practice alive was an echo of those long forgotten times...

Dipper and Wendy were stunned by this, but were honored to accept this task to revive the natives and restore them to their proper home...

The spirit takes them FAR from town...and leads them to a den of PLAIDYPUS. "Keeping this as a pet." Said Wendy flatly as she picks one up to cuddle.

The spirit smiles, "you remind me of her-

"Wha?" "Never mind, BEHOLD!"

Suddenly the den opened up to reveal an underground catacomb...filled with HUNDREDS of people stuck in-

"Seriously? This is Peanut Brittle?" Asked a skeptical Dipper. The spirit shrugged, "I was surprised as you were that it worked."

"How DOSE that work?" Asked Dipper baffled.

"Actually, it's a very interesting story. You see-

"MOM!?"

Dipepr turned around..and was stunned...in the center of the room, given a place of highest honor...was a woman who could be mistaken as an older, naked Wendy.

Wendy sobbed, "Wha-What is this?"

"That...is our great leader." Said the spirit with reverance-

"I'm sorry...WHAT?!" Screamed Dipper.

BOOM!

Everyone turned around to see a giant suite of armor of man. Without a word...the infamous assassin 'The Collector' charged!

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!

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