Saving Prince James: A James and Sofia Love Story
Set in an alternate universe, James is now 20 and usurped his father as king and conquered every kingdom to create an empire, but he has lived his years as a lonely king with only power and wealth to keep him company. When Cedric summons a banished Sofia, 18, to the castle to secretly save the kingdoms and James, something stirs in James's heart the moment he sees a grown and blossomed Sofia. Can a banished princess save the kingdoms and a ruthless prince find his way into the heart of a princess he once lost?
Chapter 36: White Dove Feathers
Sofia
Sofia woke up to the bright warm sunlight streaming in through faded old light blue curtains, blinding her as she remained in bed and gave her muscles a much needed stretch which made her let out an unladylike yawn. Despite how nicely the sun was, it only made her irritated at it for blinding her as she just woke up. Her long brown hair was a tangled mess around her, annoyingly covering her face. She felt the heaviness of the dark circles under her eyes weigh on her like two heavy stone wheels sitting on her face.
Every part of her was aching. Her head. Her arms and legs. Her brain. Her heart.
Sofia just let her arms flop back down and she curled into herself, letting out a miserable groan.
She was exhausted.
No, scratch that. She was dead tried.
Yes, that's it. Dead. The perfect word to describe just how she feels right now.
Dead.
And who can blame her? Not after the hell that was last night. Hell, the last few days was more like it.
Her miserable groan only got worse as the memories came flooding back to her.
After James and the others brought her back to the countryside estate – not even a second before James could set a foot down inside the house – everyone bombarded Sofia with too many questions. Some were typical the questions she expected, like if Sofia was okay, was she hurt anywhere, why did she hide out in the forest for so long. Other questions were about the monster and what was it and who was behind the attack against her mother.
The entire interrogation was horrible yet bearable, but the absolute worst of it all was the question about the kiss marks James left on her when they were in her secret grotto.
The kiss marks! That one of the maids asked about. In. Front. Of. Everyone.
And it wasn't just one of them that was exposed to everyone in the light of the house. It was multiple ones. Ones that could be seen through her wet, white shirt.
Ones that everyone saw. Everyone.
There was no way she could face them all today, not after becoming an embarrassing spectacle like that.
It wasn't like Sofia was upset at the thought of her relationship with James being exposed now, that she was perfectly fine with. It was more of the fact of how exposed it was that bothered her. People saw the many, many, many marks on her.
Marks from James. And his lips. On her body.
She was very fine and happy that their relationship was revealed to everyone, but she was so not fine or happy with the finer details of the relationship being known. Sofia does not want anyone – no one – to know the intimate things about her relationship with James.
So, after that happened, how could she even face everyone? Seriously, how?
Oh, stars…. Sofia cringed as she curled tighter into herself and buried her mortified face into her pillow. She wanted to hide forever in her room.
Yeah, she'll do that. Just hide in her room forever.
It's not like she's hiding in a stranger's room with nothing to sustain her.
She had her large bookcase filled with all of her favorite books she's collected over the years in one corner near her bay window, which was cushioned with comfy pillows and a warm blanket. Just beside her bookcase was a well-cushioned chair and footrest. Below her bay window seat were three drawers that she secretly hid some candy in.
The books could keep her entertained for years; if not she could always write her own book. The candy would be a problem though. That wasn't going to last her even a day. And she was sure some of it might have gone bad since she has been away at the castle for several months now.
Over in another corner was her large, double-doored wardrobe that was full of all her clothes and dresses. Her gowns weren't anything as flashy or princess-y as the ones back at the castle, but that doesn't mean they weren't good. They were all the dresses that Sofia and Amber had either made or bought – mostly made – together over the years. Most of what Sofia actually had in her large wardrobe were just skirts and blouses that she could mix and match to give herself some variety. She had very little dresses because she had little desire to wear anything special or flashy while in exile.
She had a small fireplace just across her modest four-poster bed with hanging velvet blue curtains. The fireplace might be another problem because she definitely didn't have enough wood to keep her room warm for a week. But, her bed was warm and big enough to keep her comfy as she hides out in her room to avoid any more humiliation. There was even a door that led to her small bathroom that had her white vanity.
That's good, right?
She was in a room that she had made her own in the last five years she's been at this estate. Every inch of the decently sized room was marked with Sofia's name, telling anyone who entered that she had existed in here.
So yeah, besides the issue of food and firewood, she could totally live in here for the rest of her life as she hid from the mortification that was last night.
Sofia was just about to smile to congratulate herself for her well thought-out plan until she heard the tick-tick-ticking of the clock on the nightstand beside her bed. She popped her head up and saw that it was late in the day.
Four forty-eight, to be exact.
Shit.
She had been sleeping all day.
Another undignified groan escaped Sofia's mouth as she sat up and tried to see passed the curtains her messy hair became over her eyes. She ran an annoyed hand through her hair to brush them back.
A part of Sofia's conscience nipped at her, telling her what she already knew. She couldn't stay hidden in her room despite how badly she wanted to because she had a mission to complete. People to protect. James to save. Nor could she just keep on sleeping all day no matter how badly she need it or just wanted to wallow in her self-pity after the humiliation she faced last night.
It's hard being the one who is meant to save the kingdoms.
After the mortifying event, Amber managed to save her sorry ass and the last of Sofia's dignity by insisting that everyone just go wash up because it was clear that some certain people – she meant James – was in desperate need of one. Truth be told, Sofia had thought Amber was actually referring to herself. Not Sofia or James. But she didn't question it since it was enough to save Sofia. She just went along with it eagerly.
Amber rushed her into her room here at the estate and helped her wash up in the small bathroom in her room. She even placed out an old, warm dress for her to change into. To her surprise, it seemed like the entire bathroom was redone and upgraded well. Lucinda did a nice job at fixing up the house after the fire. New appliances like a bright, shiny porcelain bathtub and working faucets replaced the old rusting ones Sofia had grown used to. The tiles were fresh and clean, and her porcelain vanity seemed to have been revived. The bathroom was still small and so was the bathtub, but it was a lot nicer than when she had last seen it.
But Sofia didn't bother to really look at it because she wanted to soak in the hot water for a long time – especially after an exhausting few days she's had without any sleep and since it was ten o'clock at night, she deserved it – but Lucinda didn't let her. She had come up stairs and ordered her out when Sofia was just beginning to relax. There was something important she wanted to talk to everyone about.
Something so important that Lucinda couldn't find it in her heart to even wait until the next morning. Or at the very least, just let Sofia even relax in the tub for a few minutes longer.
When Sofia had trudged downstairs after her bath, she found everyone – minus the maids and butlers – in one of the sitting rooms at the front of the house. Amber, their mother, and Edward were seated with their backs to her on a new fancy beige and brown couch while James and Hugo each took a seat on the two matching cushioned chair on opposite ends of the room. Lucinda stood staring into the fireplace like it might hold some kind of answer for her.
No one noticed Sofia as she hung by the doorway of the room. She didn't know why, but she couldn't bring herself to enter the room just yet. For some reason, it felt that if she did, something bad would happen and everything would change.
So, there she stood, examining the room instead of entering it.
It seems like it wasn't just the bathroom that got a make-over. Newer and cleaner furniture replaced the old. There was an even fancier-looking chaise lounge over in one corner of the room, just under one of the paintings her mother created. From where she stood at the threshold of the doors, Sofia could see that there was a large abundance of food and snacks on a very elegant coffee table. But by the intense atmosphere she sensed just by standing in the doorway, she could already guess that it might be cold and untouched.
The fireplace was lit and warming the largest room in the estate. Yet, despite the warm glow of the fire, it casted a very grave shadow on everyone.
She could only see James's and Hugo's expression since Lucinda and the others were each turned away from her, but that was enough for Sofia to notice that everyone looked like they all had a chance of cleaning up just like she did.
But it did nothing to hide the heavy gravity that hung in the air.
James sat with his elbows on his knees and his hands held together so tightly that his knuckles turned white. He was just staring at the food on the coffee table with an expression so upset that it was almost like he was angry at the food or something. If she didn't know him so well, she would have thought that he was going to fight the snacks or something. He looked like some tightly-wound stress ball that might break at any moment.
But compared to James, Hugo looked like some ball that was too unwound. Hugo's head was thrown back against the chair in such a limp fashion and his eyes were so hung low that they might as well have been closed. It was almost like he had lost all of his energy. Dark circles hung heavily on his face, exposing just how utterly exhausted he was. He looked like a ragged doll that was thrown aside after being dragged through dirt and mud.
Sofia could still taste the lingering sense of guilt from last night on her tongue. It was more than an overwhelming guilt that washed over her, it was paralyzing and nearly broke her down.
Guilt…
Guilt for involving everyone into this mess. For involuntarily putting each of their lives at risk. For making them all victims of this madman's plans.
Seeing them all buried under this crushing weight of worry and fear, shame like no other coated her like a thick jacket she couldn't take off. She had never wanted this for any of them when she took up this duty. All she ever wanted for them – wished for them was simply their happiness and the safety away from any heartache or worry.
That was the very reason why she even took up this responsibility in the first place, to shoulder their worry and fears and heartaches so that they could have a chance at happiness. A chance at a good life without the fears of this man's madness looming over them all.
That was the one thing she asked and hoped for.
But she couldn't even get it.
Sofia wanted to cry. For them. For her. For the innocent lives that were taken and lost. For all the destroyed hopes.
For what has happened to everyone in her life because this evil man just wanted to take her damn necklace. For everything drop of innocent blood that he has spilled because Queen Anne refused to love him the way he wanted.
For Queen Anne…. The first life taken and destroyed.
She let the first tear pf the day fall slowly down her cheek and soak into her pillow, wanting it to mean something in all this madness. Seeing all of this and feeling the chaos that is threatening to drown her, it's all too much.
She remembered feeling exactly this when she stood in the doorway.
Sofia knew that she couldn't let the threat of drowning in her own shadows make her lose sight of what was important. She can't give up and let Queen Anne's sacrifice be in vain. She can't let the innocent lives taken mean nothing. Too much has already been lost and like hell will she let him take another. The tears and cries and blood… they will be avenged.
Last night, her tears began to feel too hot as more fell. She grew angry. Angry that he made her cry again. Angry that he took Queen Anne away from James and Amber. Angry that he used her mother as some toy in his games.
Angry that he almost made her feel hopeless.
I will make him feel every ounce of pain he's caused. Starting with Queen Anne's.
Sofia wiped her cheeks and squared her shoulders. She pushed through the doors with a little too much conviction and made the doors creak loudly into the silence. Every head turned to her direction.
"Sofia!" James and Hugo said together, both rising out of their chairs.
Amber rushed over to her. "Are you okay? Do you want anything? Are you hungry? There's food over on the table if you want any. Are you cold? There should be a blanket around here somewhere. Here, sit by the fire," Amber rambled on as she took Sofia's hand and led her over to the others.
"I'm fine. I'm fine," Sofia had insisted. As she made her way closer to everyone, she saw just how everyone was watching her. They all had this sad, pitying look on each of their faces.
And she didn't like it. It made her feel like they all thought of her as some weak damsel. Someone who couldn't fight for herself. Someone who was so fragile that she might break at the slightest breeze.
Has she not proven herself to them already? Had they not seen just how strong she is? Why? Why were they all looking at her like that?
Sofia ripped her hand away from Amber just as they were a step from everyone. "Okay, stop looking at me like that. Stop looking at me like I am about to have anotehr break down. I don't need that right now. Okay?"
"Sofia, dear…." Her mother's expression got even sadder.
"Sofia…." James made his way over to her and gently took her hand. His touch should have been calming – especially after their time in her grotto – but it didn't because his sorry tone only annoyed her even more.
Now that she really thought about it given that it is now the next morning, Sofia kind of feels bad for taking her anger out on everyone. She realized now that it was all misplaced. Maybe it was because she was still too emotional from her breakdowns or maybe she was just so sleep deprived – no. That was the answer. Zero sleep added with multiple breakdowns do not go together.
And maybe she did sort of knew that she was displacing her anger at everyone last night, but she just couldn't keep herself in check. Yes, she was being unreasonable and wasn't listening to a word from anyone, but the last few days have been utter shit and she didn't even want to bother keeping it all together right now. It's hard to do with absolutely no sleep.
"Don't give me that tone, James," she remembered saying rather harshly.
"No, Sofia, listen to me. We're not –"
She tore her hand out of his grasp and took a step away from him. "Yes you are –"
"See, I told you this should have waited until morning, Lucinda. Sofia isn't well enough to handle it right now," she heard Amber say.
"But it really can't wait," Lucinda replied. "She needs to hear this now."
"Don't talk about me like I'm not here," she lashed at the two of them. "I'm not some sick baby who can't –"
"Sofia." James surprised her by suddenly taking her face into his hands and turning her head so that all she could see was him and his green eyes. Whatever angry outbursts she was going to say died the moment her eyes met his. "Look, Sofia, I know you think we're all pitying you right now, but we're not. It's worry, not pity."
"Why?" she couldn't help saying. "You don't need to –"
"Sofia." He said her name like she was being ridiculous. "Will you just listen to me? You're just tired right now. We all are, but you the most out of everyone in here. Okay? Everyone wanted to give you the chance to get a good amount of sleep before telling you any of this, but what Lucinda has to say is really important Sofia and it can't wait. You need to hear this."
Maybe it was the combination of a pleading sadness and determination in his eyes and tone that made every angry, pissed-off speck inside of Sofia vanish faster than a snap of her own two fingers.
"Okay?" James's voice became softer than a whisper.
Sofia just nodded. She did not trust her voice to even work well enough for her to reply back.
Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Lucinda walk towards them. She was holding the Book of Hyproti in her hands. "Sofia, I am really sorry about adding on more to the crap you're already dealing with, but you know that if it wasn't this important, I would not even bother to remember mentioning it to you."
"I know," Sofia said in a tiny voice, slightly happy to not hear it crack or waver. She gently pulled James's hands off of her cheeks, but by the way he immediately laced their hands together, it seemed like he wasn't ready to let her go just yet and resigned himself to just holding onto her hands instead. "I'm sorry... about losing it like that. I'm..."
"It's alright, dear. We know that it's just because you are dealing with a lot right now," her mother said.
Sofia looked shamefully down at the floor. "What is this all about anyway?"
Lucinda placed the Book of Hyproti onto the coffee table and reached into her robe, pulling out a small leather bag. She opened it and Sofia saw that it was full of nothing but white feathers. "It's regarding Queen Anne."
Queen Anne?
"I actually didn't notice this when it all rained down after she sacrificed herself, but I did while James was off trying to find you. There are small amounts of magic in each of the feathers. Small enough to hold messages to help us bring this son of a bitch down –"
"Messages? Messages about what? What did she say?"
Lucinda ran a hand through her short hair. She chewed on her bottom lip like she was struggling to find the right way to say what she needed to say. "Why don't I start from the beginning," Lucinda said after some time. She gestured for her to sit down somewhere.
From just that gesture alone, Sofia knew that it was going to be another long night. It was a miracle that she even got the chance to sleep at all after the very, very, very long talk.
"You see," Lucinda began after Sofia took a seat – which, not unsurprisingly, was right beside James since he was so adamant about not letting Sofia go. She was just thankful that the chair he had claimed was just big enough to sit two people. At least then she wasn't in his lap in front of everyone – and handed her the Book of Hyproti and the bag of white feathers, "after James went off to look for you, I started to feel these small pulses of magic come from all of Queen Anne's white feathers. I thought maybe it was the leftover magic she had when she possessed the bird, but I was wrong. When I picked one up, I saw that she had embedded messages into each feather. Messages of what she could never tell us before."
"What do you mean?" Hope sprang into Sofia's heart, the first she's felt in so long.
Lucinda didn't reply immediately. She looked like she was trying to choose her words carefully. After a moment, she finally said, "I think it's better if I just show you."
"What do you mean?" Sofia asked again.
But Lucinda didn't say anything. Instead, she just reached into the bag and pulled out a small golden feather. With a snap of her hand, she produced a budding flame and began to burn the feather. As she did so, she explained, "the feathers are magic, Sofia. They need to be burned in order for the message to be shown, but they can be burned a number of times and never turn to ash."
"Okay, but what does –"
When the feather was completely engulfed in flames, Lucinda dropped it onto the ground and a soft, white smoke rose. Sofia suddenly smelled the scent of perfumed roses and a warmth like campfire and sunlight and summer days filled the room. Sofia could still remember how wondrous the warmth felt when it touched her cheeks, almost like a gentle caress of a warm blanket.
The smoke billowed about in a collected mass like several thin scarves for a moment before splitting in half and Queen Anne emerging out from the center.
Sofia gasped and quickly stood up. "Queen Anne…." Her legs moved on their own, taking her right in front of the smoking feather.
Queen Anne appeared as she always does, in her yellow dress and her hair neatly done. She was the same height as she always was whenever she came to Sofia as a ghost. Everything about her was the same, right down to even the spirit like complexion of her skin. But there was something different about the way she looked in this message. She seemed freer and at peace.
"Sofia," she began with a kind smile, "by now, Lucinda should have found out that I hid messages into the feathers of my dove after I was destroyed and she should be showing them to you. More importantly, the feather I had created just for you." She was looking at her as if she right here and talking to Sofia in person. "These are my last words to you, Sofia. My last chance to right everything. My one last hope that this message explains everything and that in doing this, it relieves you of your guilt as much as I wish it for myself. I know you, Sofia. I know that you're probably feeling guilty about what happened to me, but please don't. I chose to sacrifice myself. It was the only way to protect you, James, Amber, Lucinda…. To protect everyone…. And not because you weren't strong enough, Sofia, but because you just haven't achieved your fullest potential yet –"
"Is she talking about the Thirteen Gifts?" Sofia asked Lucinda, who just nodded in return.
"– I know that you have many questions for me and I will try to answer them to the best of my ability in my other feathers. But please know that the reason why I have not been able to talk to you as much as you needed was because I have been trying to learn just what this man was planning. And on the night I told you to go to Lucinda, I had it all figured out. I knew every detail of his plans. His next move. I knew how to beat him and free the other trapped magical beings."
Queen Anne smiled brightly, like she was proud of herself for uncovering it all. Sofia couldn't help but smile back at her. It was infectious and seeing it now after losing her was something Sofia needed. It was the way she always wanted to remember Queen Anne.
But her smile turned bitter and angry. Sofia knew that it wasn't directed at her, it was for The Evil. "But with my curse, I still could not tell you anything. I was trapped and I couldn't help you. This man still had me as a prisoner and I couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't warn you beforehand that he planned to set fire to your mother's house as a way to lure you all away from the castle or that Prince Hugo's mark was too powerful for you to defeat. I knew it all but I couldn't warn you…."
Queen Anne stopped and turned away, like she was having a hard time continuing. Sofia wanted to reach out and hold her hand just to comfort her, but she knew that she wouldn't even feel her familiar motherly warmth if she did. This was just an image, not the real thing.
Then after taking a deep breath to compose herself, she continued on, "But I managed to find a loophole in his curse. My spirit was cursed, but not my consciousness. So I conjured up as much magic as I could to separate the two. With the two in half, I still could not tell you everything, but enough to help. But I still needed a body to do so. That was when I got the idea to use a nearby dove. I practiced throwing my consciousness around for weeks until I had nearly mastered it. I was still limited in my abilities and how long I could stay separated, but either way, I was going to use my dove's body to tell you everything when you returned, Sofia. But when you destroyed his first source, he suddenly changed plans and set the fire a little earlier than he had intended. I had to do something. So I went into my dove and flew as quickly as I could to Lucinda. I did not have enough magic to remain in my dove, so I had to borrow some of hers. Luck was on my side since it turned out to be a good idea because by I was able remain in the bird's body as long as I wished just by connecting to her power."
Queen Anne smiled, mimicking Lucinda's witchy smirk. "I owe that girl a lot… I am very much indebted to Lucinda and her kind heart. There is a lot of good in that heart of hers. And a lot of sarcasm too."
Sofia heard a small, somber laugh from Lucinda. Then she saw her smile sadly up at the image of Queen Anne.
"But the luck didn't stay on my side for long because… I knew what laid inside of Prince Hugo's mark. It was a monster unlike anything I've ever seen. You see, according to what I've discovered, Prince Hugo's mark is the most recent one that this man created. And due to that, he's made a lot of adjustments to how he creates his marks. They're a lot stronger and are intended to hold a lot more darker magic that, once removed, will become a monster solely based on killing whoever tried to destroy it. But the worst of it all is that the longer he was marked, the more his life was at stake. The monster inside it was feeding off of him... It was killing him and making him go insane as a result." She stopped again and took a breath.
But the breath was shaky and her expression was… full of pain. Her eyes were watery and pinched in a way that Sofia recognized all too well.
Guilt. Blame. Hurt.
Sofia knew those emotions like it was a piece of her. And now Queen Anne wore them too.
"I knew it all. I knew it all for days, but I couldn't tell you! I didn't tell you! Not even when we began to remove the mark. I should have told you the moment Lucinda and I met up with you two. I should have done things a lot more differently. I should have fought harder. But…" she cried, "But his life was at stake. All of your lives were. It was the only way of protecting you and everyone else since I made the mistake of not figuring it all out sooner and warning you, Sofia. So, the moment I decided to sacrifice myself, I had all my magic infused into the feathers as my last way of helping you…. I should have told you earlier because then maybe things wouldn't have to end the way it did. I might not have had to leave you…. Forgive me, Sofia. Forgive me for leaving you when you needed me most. For not being there and helping you. For sacrificing myself and making you witness it."
Tears began to roll down Sofia's cheeks, burning them as they fell. She didn't bother to brush them away nor did she even want to because in a way, it felt like she was honoring Queen Anne. She was not going to deprive herself or Queen Anne by trying to hold back her tears because….
Tears can sometimes be the greatest way of remembering someone for all they've done, all they've sacrificed throughout their life, all they've regretted and mourned for.
For a long second or two, Queen Anne just cried on and on. Letting out her own pain and guilt just as Sofia had when she was with James throughout the last few nights. And along with Queen Anne, Sofia silently let out her cries as well. Her shoulders shook and her tears fell harder and harder, unrestrained.
And through the duration of the cries, Sofia did not look away. She couldn't. It felt like she would disrespect her and her sacrifice if she did.
"I owe you so much, Sofia, and no matter how many times I say 'thank you', it will never be enough. I am indebted to you as much as I am to Lucinda. Even more so," she said after some time. Her tears still fell and her sobs mixed with her words. "Thank you. Thank you for everything. For taking up this responsibility to save the kingdoms. For doing something I couldn't. Thank you for loving James. For seeing the good in him when others didn't. For being his soulmate and giving him the love of a life time. Thank you for being Amber's best friend. For loving her as a sister. For being her rock when her world fell apart. Thank you for always having such a big and pure heart. Thank you for being so strong for the both of us. Thank you for setting me free…."
The message started to fade as Queen Anne's smile was just starting to return.
Sofia started to panic. She didn't want it to end. She didn't want her to go. She didn't want this to be the last time she ever hears from her again.
No. No. No.
"Thank you for being my second daughter. Thank you for bringing so much joy into the castle. You and your mother, Miranda, gave Roland and James and Amber so much happiness." Sofia looked over at her mother, who was in tears too. She was clutching Amber's hand like it was for dear life and had a tissue in the other. "Thank you for being their new family. You two brought life back into their lives and into their hearts. Please look after James and Amber and continue to love them as you do. Make sure your mother is safe and sound. She was your father's true love; she gave him something I never could:... true love." She heard her mother choke back a sob and cover her mother with her hand, trying to keep all her other teary sounds quiet. "She was his treasure. And I promised myself that I would protect her as well. But I can't keep that promise anymore and I need you to continue it for me."
More of the message began to fade into a color so soft that it could have been a baby bird's feather.
"Sofia, you are so young but so wise…." Sofia could see her full smile again. There was so much pride and love in it that it only made Sofia's heart break and heal at the same time. She was happy to see it again, but sad to know that this is Queen Anne's last smile to her. "Promise me you won't give up. That you'll keep on fighting and stay true to that strong, strong heart of yours. Be brave, Sofia, and save the day. Be the hero this world needs…."
The message ended.
The smoke disappeared.
And all that remained was the golden feather.
Sofia crumbled to the floor and cried gut-wrenching sobs.
The pain hurt. It hurt like hell.
It was like someone just tore away a vital piece of Sofia's life. A piece that helped her in so many ways. A piece that understood her so well and loved her like she was her daughter. A piece that was her second mother.
Sofia just lost Queen Anne all over again.
But this time, it hurt more than witnessing her sacrifice herself. This time, the way Queen Anne said goodbye made it all the worse because Sofia did not want to say goodbye.
She needed Queen Anne. She needed her to help guide Sofia to the right path and know what to expect and to figure out how to beat this man. Sofia couldn't do it alone. She is weak and helpless without Queen Anne.
Suddenly, in the midst of her sobbing, Sofia felt a pair of arms hold her tightly. She thought it was maybe James, but the arms were too slender and thin to have been his. It was actually Lucinda.
"Shh…" Lucinda tried to console her. "It's okay. It's okay."
She didn't fight Lucinda's hug nor did she accept it. She just didn't have it in her to do anything else but cry.
Sofia didn't say anything. She couldn't. Not through her tears. But it didn't seem like Lucinda expect Sofia to do so. She seemed like she was just trying to be a good friend to Sofia and let her cry out her loss.
And yet, Sofia felt Lucinda's shoulder's shake and her voice break as she whispered to Sofia. She was crying too. She was crying for the same reasons as Sofia.
Lucinda lost a friend. A second mother too.
Sofia didn't know how she knew it, but she did and understood that Lucinda needed the comfort as much as Sofia did. So, Sofia held onto her too, hoping they could be each other's support as they tried not to fall.
She didn't' know how long she kept on crying for. It felt like ages, that's for sure. She just kept letting her broken heart sob on and on until it couldn't any longer.
And through it all, Sofia and Lucinda just held onto each other.
"T-th-there… is no way of bringing her back… is there?" Sofia couldn't help but ask. She had to at least try, even if there was no possibility of doing so.
It's not fair of how Queen Anne perished. Twice her death was cruel and painful.
Sofia believed that she deserved better. That was what she wanted for her, what she tried so hard to give her. A chance at a reunion with James and Amber. A chance at being free and happy.
"No. Trust me… if there was, I would have tried it. But bringing someone back, even a destroyed spirit, requires dark black magic and nothing good ever comes from messing with that kind of magic," Lucinda said. "At first, when she died, I still believed that her spirit was still alive back at the castle, but I was wrong –"
"What do you mean? So there is a possibility of bringing her back?" Sofia's mother suddenly stood up. Sofia could see through her still teary-eyes that her mother was shaking. Be it from the chill or just her emotions, Sofia didn't know. But most likely it was from her emotions.
"Theoretically, yes I can but like I said, it takes evil magic and the spirit never comes back the same. They come back demented and twisted," Lucinda said. "But either way, I was wrong. Queen Anne's spirit is gone. When her consciousness was destroyed, so was her spirit."
"But how? She had them separated right?" Amber said, standing up and reaching for their mother's hand. Edward stood up beside her.
"Yes, but when a spirit and its consciousness is separated and one is destroyed, they both get destroyed. It's a chain reaction. Think of it sort of like when a person is injured so badly that they become brain-dead. The body cannot function when the brain is beyond repair. When one is destroyed, the other is too."
"So… she's really gone...?" Amber's voice broke.
Lucinda looked away. "I'm sorry…."
Amber shook her head, refusing to believe Lucinda's words. "But there must be –"
It was Lucinda's turn to shake her head. "If there was a way for me to bring her back the same, happy and healthy, you know I would have done it by now. But there isn't. To resurrect someone requires black magic and that only makes them come back dark and empty."
"But –"
"It wouldn't be her, Amber," Sofia tried. "She won't return as herself. She even told me herself that she doesn't want to be resurrected. She doesn't want to come back an ugly, hallow version of herself."
"But I never got my chance to be with her! I never got to know her! I never got to meet her! I never even knew that she was around the entire time!" Amber crumbled and their mother held her as she did. "I never got my chance to say goodbye..."
No one uttered a word. No one made a sound as all that could be heard was Amber's crying echoed around the silent room and the sound of many tears falling down Sofia's and Lucinda's and her mother's cheeks.
They cried on and on, the four of them. She didn't know what the boys were up to then, but she didn't bother paying any attention to them. All she did was cry for a long, long time, letting out all of her pain and Queen Anne's pain. All of the things the both of them lost and never got to do. The things that the future held for them and was now gone.
She didn't know how long she cried on for. She couldn't remember what happened after the crying and the tears. Sofia remembered feeling very emotionally drained and her eyes felt like they were ten times puffier and redder than they usually become whenever she cried. She remembered how uncontrollable her tears fell and how badly her heart ached for Queen Anne.
But whatever happened next was a blur to her.
Sofia didn't remember ever walking upstairs. She didn't remember changing into one of her old nightgowns. She didn't remember crawling into bed. She didn't even remember falling asleep.
It was all a blank blur.
And now, here she is: still in bed at four in the evening.
Did she want to remain in bed? Hell yes.
Should she? No.
She can't because that wouldn't be something Queen Anne would want her to do. Sofia needed to finish this mission and avenge Queen Anne. She is going to protect everyone and keep her promise to Queen Anne.
She is going to be the hero.
With a shaky sigh, Sofia climbed out of bed and washed up. She dressed in an old, worn white blouse that she paired with her favorite dark purple skirt and her usual black vested corset that she wore over her blouse.
After dressing for so long in nothing but royally glamorous gowns and garments, it felt oddly nice being back in her old commoner's clothing. Almost like returning back home after a long journey away. There was a nice comforting feeling in it all, like her body was remembering how she did things back here at the estate.
While tying her hair with a ribbon she found on her dresser, she made her usual way through the house to the kitchen and was surprised to see the house empty along the way. She was confused. The entire house was too quiet. Not a single sound except for her footsteps could be heard. With the extra twenty butlers and maids Amber had badly negotiated with James when they had first returned to the castle, the house should be a lot more crowded and a lot more noiser than this.
But it was clearly void of nearly everyone. She didn't even see James, Amber, their mother, Lucinda, or anyone. Not even Abby or Marie, the only two maids James had granted them when they were first exiled. Those two are usually flocking around cleaning or tidying the estate or grooming the garden out back. Their humming could always be heard around the house.
After grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl in the kitchen, she began to search about, walking from room to room trying to find everyone. But it was all empty. The kitchen. The workshops. The music room. The small library.
All of them.
That is, except for the main room that led out to the estate's small courtyard and garden.
This room was a lot more different than the sitting room that was in the front of the house. The main room had a lot more comfortable furniture and two large stone fireplaces on both ends of the long room. The windows are bigger too, floor-to-ceiling to be exact, with velvety curtains, which were open. It let in a lot of the early spring light that gave the larger room a warm and inviting glow. Through the wide glass doors in the center of each of the windows that led directly to the open terrace to the small courtyard, the budding flowers that grows around the vicinity of the modest countryside estate could be seen blooming and glowing with a gentle vibrancy. Even the grass's healthy green color and the branches of the tall, stalking masses of trees could be seen swaying in the soft breeze.
Sofia found both Amber and their mother in there. One with a book in her hands – the Book of Hyproti, to be exact – while the other was mending a pair of pants. Both were dressed in the usual attire that Sofia was used to seeing them in: Amber in a pale orange commoner's gown and her mother in her favorite off-blue dress.
For a split second, it was like nothing had changed. Like everything Sofia had experienced was just a big, long nightmare and this was her reality. Her safe, unchanging reality.
It could have fooled Sofia if it weren't for the fact that Amber was trying vigorously to open her book.
"Why won't this damn thing open!?" Amber swore unladylike at the book, which earned her a scolding from their mother.
"This is why I said to not mess with it until Sofia wakes up," their mother said with a disapproving look to Amber. "And like I have been asking you for the last two minutes now, will you please just put that book down and help me finish mending the pants and shirts?"
Like the night before, Sofia remained in the doorway. Not quite ready to enter just yet.
"But I need to know everything in this thing so I can help Sofia," she heard Amber say. And while Sofia was a bit moved at hearing the determination and kindness in her voice as she spoke, she couldn't help but wonder how did they know about her book?
"I know, dear, but the book is clearly not opening for you and you do need to wait for her. Now pick up that needle Amber, or I swear –" their mother said, sounding like she was close to losing her patience with Amber.
"Okay, okay. I'm putting the book down now. See, the needle is in my hands. I'm sewing, I'm sewing," Amber dramatically sighed. Sofia laughed quietly to herself at hearing her sister.
It felt good to laugh, even a little bit. That was something she didn't even know she needed after all that crying. It is almost like the stone weights on her heart were being lifted a little bit at a time, one small pebble by one small pebble.
"But why do you think the book won't open?" Amber said.
"It's like I said, the book only opens for its owner, which is Sofia," a sudden voice said behind Sofia. Then a pair of hands that obviously belonged to the voice pushed Sofia through the doors.
Lucinda.
"Good to see you're finally up, Sofia," she said with a witchy smile. "How long were you going to just hang by the doorway?"
"Sofia!" Amber shouted as she dropped everything and nearly tackled her down onto the floor with a soul-crushing hug. "Are you okay? How are you feeling? Do you need anything?"
"I think she needs you to get go of her, dear," Sofia heard her mother say. "I don't think she can breathe if you hug her like that."
"Oh!" Amber finally released her. "Sorry, sorry! Are you alright?"
"I'm fine. I'm fine," Sofia said. Dear stars, it was like someone was squeezing her lungs from the inside. "How are you two, Lucinda? Amber?"
Sofia had to know that they were at least okay. She wasn't the only one who lost Queen Anne. Lucinda and Amber did too. Her loss is their loss too. They lost a friend. A mother.
"Well, I'm not going to say that I'm good. I am far from it," Lucinda sighed. "But I'm not, not good."
"Amber?"
"I'm… not crying anymore, so that's a good thing. But I'm not okay either…" Amber said lowly, looking down at her feet like she's embarrassed to have admitted this.
Sofia didn't want her to feel embarrassed about her own feelings. It's not right. No one should feel bad about what they feel. Of all people, Sofia knew too well about it.
"Amber…" Sofia pulled her sister into her own soul-crushing hug. Amber looked like she needed one. Then she grabbed Lucinda and made the hug into a threesome because Lucinda looked just like Amber. They both needed it just as badly as Sofia.
To her own victory, Lucinda didn't break the hug. She instead just held on as tightly as Amber did. No tears fell and no sobs were made. They all just silently held each other for a while.
After a moment, Sofia was the first to speak. "I'm sorry for never telling you about Queen Anne, Amber…. I –"
"It's okay. Lucinda told me all about why you couldn't this morning. You were only trying to protect me because it was too dangerous for me to know about her." Amber smiled sadly at her.
"So, you're not mad at me?"
"No." And in an instant, Amber's sad smile vanished and her face flushed with so much anger that it shocked Sofia to even see her face so red. "I'm more pissed-off at the man behind all of this. It's his fault that I lost my mom and it's his fault that we're in this situation in the first place." She started to stomp around and yell while making her hands into tiny, perfectly manicured claws. "It's his fault that I ended up living like a commoner for five years! That I had to do manual labor! It's his fault that I lose my tiaras! I swear, when I get my hands on him, I am going to tear him into pieces! I am going to make him regret ever being born!"
Sofia couldn't help but giggle at what she was seeing. Perfect Amber raging about with a face so angry that it could make even the bravest knight quiver in his armor. She looked like a tiny doll just storming about, shouting and swearing like a pirate. What made it all funnier was how her yellow bow on top of her head was flopping around as Amber raged from one end of the room to the other.
She didn't try to stop Amber. In fact, she thinks Amber could benefit from this. She honestly needed this rant session. It could do her some good to let it all out. Better this way than breaking something like Sofia did.
"You know, I told them everything," Lucinda said to Sofia as they both watched Amber continue to yell and her mother trying to calm Amber down.
"Everything?" Sofia didn't know how she felt about this. What if that still puts everyone in danger? "Is it alright for them to know?"
Lucinda nodded. "With Queen Anne's death, I don't think there are any consequences with them knowing now. But just to be on the safe side, only your mom, Amber, and the two others know. Not the maids or butlers. I thought it best if I told them so you wouldn't have to. After yesterday, you didn't seem like you have it in you to tell them without breaking down."
"…Thank you…." Truth be told, Sofia knew that Lucinda was right. She felt like she was one word away from breaking down again if she talked. "How much did you tell them?"
"Everything you weren't able to tell them," Lucinda stressed the word. "Queen Anne's history with this man. The Book of Hyproti. Everything, Sofia. They know it all now."
"…Thank you," Sofia said again, grateful to have a friend like Lucinda looking out for her. "By the way, where is everyone?"
"All the maids and some of the butlers went into town with Baileywick to buy some more supplies and groceries. The rest of the others are tending to the garden. James and the boys are having some kind of competition at seeing who can chop the most firewood the fastest," her mother said after she managed to settle Amber and sat her back down, which only made her pout and fuss with the needle and threads.
James…. For the first time all day, Sofia thought of James. She kind of felt guilty at not paying him a single thought about how all of this was affecting him or if he was even okay after losing his mother. She was so busy worrying about herself and feeling guilty that she hadn't even thought about what might he be going through.
Hell, she hadn't even seen him at all today!
Wait.
She hadn't seen him all day.
James wasn't there when she woke up. He's usually is. James is usually the one who is very adamant about keeping her in bed all day. Sofia is the one who always has to break up their fun because of their royal duties but mostly out of fear that their relationship might be discovered. If it were up to James, Sofia knew that he would make it a law to keep her in bed with him so they could have their lazy fun together.
But it was very odd not waking up to James after being so used to it for so long now. Was he even in bed with her when she fell asleep?
"James and Hugo are not fighting, if that's what you're worried about," Lucinda said when Sofia didn't say anything. She didn't even realize that she had gone quiet while she was pondering why James wasn't there with her this morning.
"Oh, I wasn't – never mind. It doesn't matter," she sighed.
There was no need for her to explain why she had gone quiet. They may have already know about her relationship with James and the fact that he enjoys to leave kiss marks on her, but they didn't need to know that they share a bed together every night. She had enough humiliation as it is.
"Why are they out getting supplies? It's not grocery day," Sofia said instead.
Back when it was only Sofia, Amber, their mother, and the two maids that lived on this estate, they had organized for one day of the week to be when all five ladies would go into town and buy whatever was needed back at the estate. And since the estate was a bit far from town, it made more sense to visit town only once a week instead of making it harder on themselves to visit on a daily basis.
"Yes, but since there are suddenly a hundred more mouths to feed, we need more food," her mother said as she took the needle from Amber. "Also, James and the boys all need some more clothes. The ones they arrived in are being washed and they are currently borrowing some of the butlers' clothes. And they can't go about wearing all that royal garb, it'll attract unwanted attention from passersby's."
"Plus... some of the supplies are for your mom. She, Baileywick, and all the servants are leaving in two days," Lucinda said delicately, like she was trying to soften the news to Sofia.
"What?" Sofia's heart fell and now sat at the bottom of her stomach. She had just seen her mother after so long of being separated, she can't lose her now. Not after losing Queen Anne. It's making the fresh wound on her heart tear even more instead of healing it.
"Sofia, it's pretty clear that you can't return to the castle. So you have no choice but to stay here. But that would make this place a lot more crowded than it already is," her mother said.
"So, we'll just accommodate and do the best we can."
"No, Sofia. I highly doubt that's possible," Lucinda said. "And it's for the best if she goes. Queen Anne asked for you to keep her safe and sound. To protect her. That's what I am doing. He knows you're here and that's not going to make this a safe place for your mother to remain."
"But –"
"Listen to Lucinda, dear," her mother said, stepping up to Sofia and gently taking her hand. "I need to go. I can't be here while you all are fighting this thing. You'll all just constantly worry about me and I'll just slow you down. I can't be of any help. I don't know a single thing about magic."
"No, mom –" Sofia was near tears again. Her voice faltered and her eyes were already beginning to water. "I don't want to say goodbye…." She didn't care if she sounded like a child. This was her mother after all.
Her mother wrapped her arms around Sofia and held her tight, she could obviously see Sofia's distress since she didn't try to hide it. Her mother's arms felt warm and safe, like nothing bad could happen if her mother just held her.
This was a place Sofia always enjoys to be as a child. A place where the thundering storms became sounds of a thousand harps playing. A place where no swords, no evil magic, no bad guys could ever hurt her or Sofia.
"Sweetheart, this isn't goodbye," her mother softly cooed. "This is just another short separation like when I had to leave you two behind at the castle. I'll see you again when this is all over. I –"
"But you won't have to. You could just stay here and we'll protect you –"
"No we can't, Sofia," Lucinda interrupted. "I put up wards around the entire estate and it's not strong enough to protect this many people against this man if – or when – he ever attacks. He knows where we are and I can't ensure your mother's safety if she remains. Her leaving is the only way to keep her out of this. To keep her from being used against us like before."
"That's why I need to go, Sofia–"
"No," Sofia shook her head vigorously. "I'll –"
"Sofia." Her mother said her name like a warning. She never liked being interrupted and found it highly undignified. So, given the fact that Sofia has done it many times now, it was no surprise that her mother was close to losing her patience with her. "I'm sorry, but Lucinda is right. You can't fight and protect me at the same time. And I will not be the reason you lose. My daughters do not lose; do you understand me?"
Sofia ripped herself away and glared at the two of them. "Don't I get a say in this? Don't I get a say in anything? How can you two just decide on this already?"
"Amber was your say," Lucinda nodded over at Amber, who was now standing right beside Sofia and their mother. She didn't even realize that Amber had come back over to them. "She was saying the same thing you are when we discussed this earlier. She tried to convince us, James, Hugo, everyone why your mother needs to stay, but no one saw her staying as a good idea. It'll only put her in the middle of all this and she could get seriously hurt or worse."
"I really tried, Sofia," Amber said to the ground. She took Sofia's hand and held on tight. "I tried hard, but they say the safest place for Mom is somewhere at one of the Fairies' safe houses."
"The Fairies have some of the strongest wards in the world set up at their safe houses and it's magically hidden so that no one but me and the Fairies can find it. It's large enough to hold all the servants and your mother. She'll be safe, Sofia, I promise you." Lucinda looked her in the eyes, trying to make her understand.
"You discussed this with James and he agreed to it?" Sofia asked, her voice breaking.
"Yes. Everyone did. The only ones who are against it are you and Amber," Lucinda said. "Look, I know this is hard, but this is the only way of keeping her safe."
Sofia didn't say a word. She just looked down at the floor, not knowing what to say or where else to look. I know that what they're saying is right, that the best way to protect Mom is to send her away, but I just don't want to lose her right now. I can't.
How will I truly know that she's safe if I don't see it for myself? What if they're wrong and this man can find her?
"Sofia…" Her mother placed her hand on each of Sofia's and Amber's cheeks. "Amber…." The way she said their names just about broke her heart. Her voice held so much love and faith that Sofia could do nothing but let her tears fall.
Again.
With so much that has already happened and now this, Sofia did not care about trying to keep her emotions intact.
"Let me do this for you two," their mother said. "This is just a small thing compared to what you've all done for me. You two have done everything to protect me, this incredibly small thing is my way of protecting you two. This man can't use me to get to you two if I go into hiding."
Sofia tightened her grip on Amber's hand and her sister returned the gesture.
She didn't want to agree to it, but she had no choice. She and Amber were out numbered in votes. And a part of her knew that their idea was just plain reckless. There was no way her mother could remain and stay protected.
They're right.
"…Okay…." Sofia managed to say the word through the wavering of her voice.
"Sofia!" Amber exclaimed, horrified by her decision.
"They're right," Sofia said, shrugging helplessly by the truth of what Lucinda and their mother argued. "You know they're right."
"Yes, but how can we just let her leave?" Amber's tears poured down her cheeks in large droplets.
"I'm still here for another two days," their mother said, trying to lighten the mood. "And the moment you two bring him down – and I know you will – we'll be back together again. Just like old ti – okay, well not like old times now that you two both have your own men and one of them is James and –"
"Mom!" Sofia and Amber shrieked.
"Okay. Okay!" Amber shouted, covering her ears. She blushed so badly that even her ears were red. "That was a low blow, Mom, bringing in our relationships like that."
Their mother just laughed at her. And it was contagious, Sofia couldn't help but laugh too. "But it was a good way of relieving the room of all this tension. And it did get Sofia to laugh for the first time in a long time."
"I'm not laughing at your sick attempt at a joke, mom," Sofia said.
"Same thing," she waved dismissively.
"But was it really necessary to bring in our relationship?" she sighed as she rubbed her temples. "…Okay, okay,"
"Okay what?" Lucinda prompted, waiting for Amber to clarify her answer.
"Okay, I get it but I don't like it. Mom needs to go so he can't get to her."
"It's for the best," Lucinda softly spoke.
"And it's not forever," their mother smiled like she was hoping it would make them smile too.
"Not forever…." Amber repeated.
Their mother smiled proudly at them. "Be my heroes. Defeat this man and save the kingdoms."
Chapter thirty-six! Whoo!
FINALLY! Sorry that this took so long, I had a lot of holiday crap going on. So much shopping to be done. How did you like this chapter? It got so long that I had to cut it into two.
Anyway, I really hope you guys like this chapter. I've noticed that some of you have said that there was too much JamesFia moments going on and it distracted from the main story. I did take that into consideration, as you can see by this chapter, but please do note that this is a JamesFia fanfic. I started this out just wanting to write about their relationship, but a lot of you said you liked my plot, so I deepened it for that sake. I will try to lessen the moments, but fair warning that it will remain to be the main points of this story. I'm sorry if you don't like it, but JamesFia is the main reason why I started writing SPJ in the first place.
As for some of the questions I didn't get to answer last time:
I will be updating weekly after this. I've just been on a long hiatus because of college.
Sir Edwards is just my OC. I created him to be Amber's true love. I made a chapter extra about them that the readers won after beating my chapter challenge, which I will re-upload after this story is completed.
I will not answer anything about The Evil. That is for you to find out when the time comes. ;)
There will be an epilogue and it will be a wedding story. Of whose wedding, I don't know. *wink, wink*
I honestly don't know how many chapters are left of this story because there is a lot left to be wrapped up.
As for James and tribulations and his development with Sofia, all I can say is wait for it in future chapters.
I know that a lot of the details in this story stray from the TV show since like season two, but I did start writing this while season one was still premiering. So... yeah. Sorry about that.
No, James and Sofia did not touch each other down there while they were in the grotto. Maybe some boob and butt touches, but nothing serious below the waist.
Thanks again for being so patient
Read, review.
Thanks :)
