Tales of the Falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

ANNOUNCEMENT!

I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!

SUMMARY:
On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!

The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.

...responses...

Gamelover41592: Maybe more...?

...III...

Dipper gulped as he made he made his way naked across the street. Wendy, wanting to 'spice' things up...had him doing 'errands'...in town...NAKED.

Dipper was fairly certain Wendy got a 'thrill' seeing him humiliated...annnnnd...he was just too dang 'submissive' to say no to her..especially when sex was involved...

Fortunately, the random heat flashes had burnt so many people, most weren't outside...but his 'errand' was to buy lunch(it was embarrassing how a simple 20$ bill was overkill to cover his loins)...which meant he had to talk to lazy Susan...

Fortunately, she was so busy figuring out how to balance the budget between roadkill delivery and bribes to the health inspector that she wasn't even paying attention to him when he gave his order- didn't hurt that the counter and his small height completely covered him from his sight...

UNFORTUNATELY, the meal cost EXACTLY 20$, thus costing Dipper his only covering while he waited for the food. Worse-

"Tra-Lah-Lah!"

Dipper could practically feel his loins shrivel up into his scrotum as he heard the familiar sounds of his sister as she and their grunkle entered the diner...

Quickly he jumped to hide behind a table. Sadly, Mable still spotted him. "Hey bro-bro! Going topless in the heat are yah?" Dipper, realizing his torso was exposed but everything else was covered.

He blushed and chuckled nervously, "Heh, heh...you caught me." "So what are you doing here Dipping sauce? Actually, where have you been this summer? It's...been kinda rough without you..between my marriage, my divorce, my re-marriage, my third divorce and my arrest...yeah, just really rough.

Dipper, being distracted/self-conscious of his nudity- and his sisters tendency to babel similar things after eating too many sugar packets -didn't take her statement as seriously as he probably should have. "Oh, you know...I've been doing...this and that...as to why I'm here- His eye's desperately darted around the room and landed on the 'manliness tester' -I'm here to beat the manliness tester and win free pancakes!" He lied quickly.

Mable laughed, "You? A man? I- "Mable, Dipper IS a man." Interrupted Stan flatly without looking from the menu, the gaped at him surprised. "Wait, what?" The both said in surprise.

Mable chuckled, "Y-your not serious, you do know he listens to BABA right?"

"Yep, and it doesn't matter. He's still a man. Hey, Mable could you go buy yourself some pancakes? My treat." Says Stan as he gives Mable money before she can ask more questions.

When she leaves, Stan turns to Dipper. "Okay, I've been too busy the last couple weeks to say and/or do anything. But no where on the subject. I'm proud of you buddy!" Exclaims Stan happily before getting serious again, "That being said; me, you and Wendy need to sit down and have a good long TALK about your 'extracurricular activities'. There starting to become a problem."

Dipper gulped then chuckled nervously, "Uh, activities? What kind of activities- "I'm talking you and Wendy boinking like rabbits EVERYWHERE. Now, it's only a matter of time before your sister gets back so get your naked but out of here before you traumatize her."

Dipper gaped, "How did you- "Do you really want to hear in detail how your gruncle has learned to tell when someone's hiding their shame through years of personal experience?" Asked Stan as he quietly took a towel from his pocket and wrung it up.

Dipper went a good shade of green. "No? Then get out of here slugger!" Said Stan with a smirk as he gave his rear a towel snap.

Dipper gave a squeal of pain but ran off- stopping only to get the food he ordered -right out the door just as Mable returned. "Hey, where'd Dipper go?" She asked confused. Stan smirked, "He's on a hot STREAK." He let out a laugh while Mable just looked at him confused...

...

Using Susan's nuggets to hide HIS 'Mini-nuggets' Dipper ran to Wendy's meeting spot. Despite being terrified and humiliated...Dipper couldn't help but admit he also felt excited about the whole thing...this summer had REALLY allowed him to branch and explore himself as a person! And just thinking of Wendy's naked body pressed against his-

WHACK!

Poor Dipper...never saw that club coming...

...

Wendy was worried...Dipper was taking FAR too long...

"Hey there, little lady!" Wendy groaned as Mr. Lenderman showed up. "Okay, what's the 'challenge' today?"

The seemingly hapless and uninteresting man said nothing, he simply handed her a piece of paper. Wendy read it, her eye's widened in horror.

It was a picture of a naked Dipper chained up and surrounded by a bunch of giant, hairy men. The words: Go to the forest, do as the Manitour wish or you'll never see your friend again!...written in blood on the bottom!

Wendy was frothing mad when she looked up, naturally the jerk had vanished as mysteriously as he'd come...without a word...she marched where the directions on the photo indicated...

...

Mr. and Mrs. Pines(as well as a good portion of the nation/world) watched the whole thing play out in horrified suspense.

Mr. Pines glared at his wife, "'Let's send them to my dad's brother's shack for the summer', you said. 'Better they get some fresh air then waste the summer indoors on their computers', you said. WELL THERE CERTAINLY GETTING PLENTY OF FRESH AIR! YOU HAPPY NOW!?"

Mrs. Pines just put her head in her hands and wept...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!

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