Tales of the Falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

ANNOUNCEMENT!

I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!

SUMMARY:
On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!

The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.

...responses...

Gamelover41592: Your welcome

...III...

Tyrone cautiously entered the village...it seemed deserted...he climbed on top of a hut and quietly jumped from roof to roof...

Finally, he found the inhabitants of the village...they looked like some bizarre hybridization of dinosaur and humans. They has horns, sharp protrusions, and green scales on their bodies as well as black armor-like scales and boot-like clawed-feet.

They all appeared to be gathered around some kind of alter...Tyrone carefully got above them to get a better look. Standing above them all is a new purple creature with horns. Unlike the seemingly naked villagers, he wore a strange ceremonial garb.

"Attention one and all ladies and gentleman!" Shouted the creature in English, surprisingly enough. "Tyrannodrones of all ages! Once again, I, the great and powerful high priest Mysticon shall dazzle you with my powers bestowed upon me by the great god Mesogog!"

And Tyrone, having the memories of Dipper's Grunkle Stan...groans...this had all the making of an amateur conman and...yep, there go the second-rate magic tricks.

The Climbing Ring trick: threading a rubber band through a random ring and pretend he's stretching it out! The Rubber twig trick: shake a twig in a certain way, very quickly to create the illusion of it being rubber. The magical moving twig trick: pretend he's moving a twig with his mind, when in fact he's actually secretly blowing on it...

Tyrone shrugs as the natives are easily impressed...Dipper might've been willing to do something to expose this charlatan...but a far more cynical and eyeless Tyrone? ...He had enough trouble surviving on his own! If these morons were dumb enough to fall for this rubes parlor tricks, no skin off his bones!

"Right, wasn't that fun!? But I'm afraid we must now forgo pleasure for business! BRING FORTH YOUR TRIBUTE! The mighty beast AL hungers!"

From the Tyrannodrones perspective they saw a large shadow appear across the stage, heard a roar and saw smoke flair from a giant monster.

From his perspective above, Tyrone saw a pathetic dinosaur-wannabee-like creature operating a surprisingly complex series of lights, shadow puppets, smoking incense, and a sound amplifying conches to make him seem scarier and bigger then he was.

He saw them roll in a bunch of food...Again Tyrone shrugs...still not his fight...he began to calculate how to steal some of that food...

"Excellent! Now bring in the virgins! I shall be 'sampling' them to see if they are worthy of being eaten by AL!" Says Mysticon with a perverted grin.

Tyrone groaned in resignation, "Alright, alright! I'll be the stupid hero already...but I'm doing it MY way!" Quickly, he breaks the roof of the temple just right...

BOOM!

Riding down that rock in just the right way that it crushes AL in a way that seems to the Tyrannodrones like Tyrone slayed the beast!

A panicky Mysticon flees while the Tyrannodrones cheer. They try to give him all the food. But Tyron surprises them by only asks for enough for a week...

There wasn't enough room in the cave for more then that anyway...besides, considering these were going to be his new 'neighbors'... he had a feeling that having their goodwill by not being greedy would be VERY useful in the foreseeable future...reasons Tyrone...

...and then he gets an idea... "Actually there something else you can do for me..." He says wickedly...

...

GAH!

Pacifica sobbed and screamed in fear as she ran as fast as her naked, chubby legs could carry her as two Tyrannodrones chased her in circles around the cave. Snarling and biting her poor, abused butt cheeks...

Tyrone laughed at the spectacle, "Keep at it guys! A couple more minutes should burn off at least some of chubbies waist line!..if you haven't eaten it first that is!" He laughs.

"YOU ASSHOLE!" Screamed Pacifica, and yelps in pain as another chunk of her is bitten off...

Tyrone just laughs and lays his back and enjoys both the view of the primal jungle ...AND the breeze on his little ding-dong...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!

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