Wow. I was re-reading the chapter for the gazillionth time, and I'm shocked at how short it is. I hope you guys still enjoy it, however, as Leon and Ashley's relationship will start picking up the pace from now on - maybe a little too fast ??? I don't know, let me know your thoughts, but most importantly enjoy !
Chapter 8. Stay
There's no way Ashley would be able to sleep tonight. She'd spent most of the day doing just that, anyways. Not to mention…
You can take the bedroom. I'll sleep on the couch, Leon had said like nothing happened – after he'd touched her so intimately. She regarded his double bed like it was some odd creature, her face still flushed from that interaction. What had gotten into him ? Not that she was complaining, but she didn't know what to think…there's no way he liked her 'that way', right ?
Shaking her head, Ashley climbed into bed with butterflies in her stomach. He already turned you down once, she reminded herself. And it was different back then. Nursing a baby crush, she'd found him so attractive that she'd scraped the courage to propose some "overtime" once all was good and done…but it was different now. He was always there for her, and over time her feelings had grown to something stronger. She had more to lose, now.
"Just go to sleep," She grumbled, slamming a pillow over her face. Just go to sleep in the bed of the man you like, while he stays on the couch because he's a gentleman…she sighed. This was going to be a long night.
…
They were coming from everywhere, teeth snapping as drool dripped down their chins in an endless, primal hunger. The creatures reached forward, towards him – some arms dangling in unnatural angles, while others had bits of flesh falling off. He pulled the trigger, one, two, three, four, and five times, bodies keeling over at each shot…but there were just too many. With the last bullet, he turned the gun to himself; he didn't hear the piercing thunder as the bullet sprang from the barrel, or the sound of his body as it dropped to the ground.
Leon woke up in a cold sweat. Moonlight filtered through the windows of his apartment – reminding him where he was, but the knowledge brought him no comfort as the ghastly images of his nightmare flashed in his mind – breaking the dam for the actual memories of Raccoon City, which he normally tried his best to ignore. But they now spilled out like a volcano erupting, and it wasn't long before he started feeling nauseated.
But when the image of an infected little girl appeared in his head, that's when he couldn't take it anymore. He stood up and walked to the kitchen – yanking one of the low cabinets open. He grabbed the bottle of whiskey he'd stashed, uncorked it, and tipped the liquid into his mouth.
Leon sat down where he was, leaning against the tiled wall, and drank until he couldn't feel anything except the warm burning in his throat, traveling down to his stomach. If only he could forget just as easily…
Less than an hour passed before he was completely drunk, and his mind as equally numb, creating a barrier between his memories and him…sort of. It's not like he couldn't think about them, but at least he wasn't being overwhelmed by the tide of unpleasant feelings that came with them. "Out of mind, out of sight…" He muttered the saying – the words reversed, before taking another sip of whiskey. As long as he kept his trauma buried deep down, he'd be fine. He would take care of Ashley, and–
Ashley ! Leon glanced at the bottle in his hand, and then at the door leading to his bedroom, where the girl he was supposed to protect was sleeping in his bed. " Shit..." He cursed under his breath. What was I thinking ? No, that was exactly the point – he'd woken up from a nightmare and wasn't thinking, only focusing on the need to escape from his own mind. He grunted as he pushed himself off the floor, and quickly realized that was a mistake.
The world was spinning. Leon tried to take a step forward but instead stumbled on his own feet, colliding backwards into the wall as he lost his balance. He watched as the bottle slipped from his hand and fell to the floor with a loud crash – breaking into a million sharp pieces. " Fuck."
"Leon ?!" A horribly familiar voice suddenly called out.
"Wait, don't –" come out, was what he was about to say, but the door slammed open anyway and Ashley rushed out.
Turning the overhead light on, she blinked at the sorry state he was in. "What's…?" Her brows furrowed in confusion, and then concern as she saw the shattered bottle at his feet. "You've been drinking." It wasn't a question, but a statement.
"I'm fine. Go back to sleep." Leon tried to make his voice as steady as possible, but even he could hear how slurred his words were. He pushed away from the wall – trying to right himself and possibly gain control of the situation, but his body was having none of it.
"Wait–" Ashley exclaimed as he began toppling over. But instead of falling face-first into the ground, Leon made an oof sound when something soft collided into his body. Definitely not the floor. "You're so heavy…!" Ashley groaned, staggering as she held him up, limbs shaking with the effort.
"I can walk…" He mumbled, but his voice had no strength. He found himself relaxing against her touch, leaning further into her shape – wanting to be even closer. No, needing to be closer. In that moment, all reason flew out the window and he inhaled, the smell of her freshly-washed hair wafting into his face, and whatever tension he once had dissipated into nothing. There was just her.
"Come on, you need to lie down." She said, trying to move – but Leon's arms locked around her waist, holding her in place.
"Stay." He whispered, nestling his face in the crook of her neck.
…
Ashley thought her heart was going to burst out of her ribcage, it was thumping so hard. He was so close to her – every inch of Leon pressed up against her body, that she didn't dare to move. Stay, the one word had sounded so raw coming out of his mouth…so vulnerable. First he'd touched her so intimately, and now this ? What was happening ?
"I'm not going anywhere." She promised. "But I need you to walk with me, okay ?" Some part of his inebriated brain must've understood, because he loosened his grasp on her – allowing Ashley to take one of his arms and lift it over her shoulders. Slowly but surely, they both hobbled into the bedroom, Leon leaning heavily against her every step of the way.
What had made him drink so much, to the point that he couldn't even walk in a straight line – and even less stand on his own ? Ashley would have to figure it out later, but for now…trying as best as she could within her annoying lack of strength, she helped the man lie down on the bed, holding his head on the way to the pillow in case he hit it against the wall.
"Wait…" He mumbled, extending his arm towards her, but she was already walking out – pausing at the entrance. Okay. What was more important ? Cleaning up the shards of glass, or getting Leon a glass of water ?
Glass of water it is, Ashley decided. Returning with her boon, she placed a knee over the edge of the bed and leaned down towards Leon, who in turn was looking up at her with heavy eyelids. "Here, you need to drink some water or you'll end up sick." She would know. The first time she'd gotten drunk with her friends – oh, it wasn't pretty.
But thankfully he did as he was told, drinking from the glass as Ashley held it to his lips. But as soon as she placed it on the nightstand – she squeaked when Leon's hand grabbed her arm and yanked her down. Tumbling over the bedframe, she landed right on top of him. She didn't even have time to gather herself as his arms found her again, once more embracing her. "Leon…? What are you doing ?"
Instead of answering, she heard his heartbeat slowing and his breathing evening out…he'd fallen asleep. Very carefully, she laid her head against his chest and closed her eyes, sighing.
And then her eyes flew open, heart flying into her throat as Leon suddenly spoke. "You know, sometimes I wonder…out of everyone else, why did I make it out of alive ? Why not them – why me ?" The butterflies faded from Ashley's stomach – replaced by a cold stone, and she looked up at the weight of his words. "Why did I deserve to make it out alive, but not them…?"
"Oh, Leon…" She breathed as the pieces clicked. He had survivor's guilt. Scooting into a more comfortable position, Ashley freed one of her arms and brushed the bangs out of his face. "Never, ever doubt that you deserve to be alive, okay ?" She whispered. "It's not your fault that you couldn't save everyone. Sometimes, just being alive has to be enough."
To her shock, a single tear rolled down his cheek. "How do you make it enough ?"
She couldn't bear the anguish in his face, the pain he must've been concealing all this time. How did she make it go away – how did she make him feel better ? Ashley did the only thing she could think of; leaning forward, she met his lips with her own in a tender kiss, and in that heart-stopping moment, everything seemed right in the world. Leaning away, she said, "You make it enough by hanging on to the things that matter."
There was a pause before his hand cupped her cheek, and he pulled her back in for another kiss. Ashley stopped breathing as he took the lead this time, his mouth moving against hers more hungrily than she could've ever prepared for. "I need you," He whispered against her lips.
She was going to combust. "Wait, wait, wait !" She gasped, struggling to sit up. "Leon, you're drunk ! You don't know what you're saying…I-I'm going to sleep on the couch, okay ?"
She made to flee, but Leon's fingers caught her wrist before she could. "I'm sorry…just stay. Please ?"
Gazing down at the man, she let out a breath. How could she leave him when he was looking at her like that ? Resisting the urge to touch him again, Ashley lied down some distance next to him and murmured, "Okay. As long as you need, I'm right here."
To be continued…
