Tales of the Falls

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

ANNOUNCEMENT!

I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!

SUMMARY:
On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!

The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.

...responses...

Gamelover41592: Yep

Guest 69: It's not so much a fetish, so much I'm just very sadistic and like torturing my characters. In any case, 'Imperialstar' has called in his favor to put 'Eclipse of Marco' on my 'To-Do-list'. So Good news for you there!

...III...

AN: A good portion of this story was helped/contributed by Wolvenstrom

...

The Minutemen compound should look both well loved and falling apart...

These were Celestia's thoughts as they finally found the compound. It looked like it was being held together by bubblegum and willpower, but it's a huge amount of willpower. More loved than anything surrounded by garbage have any right to be.

...And that seemed to be the Minutemen in a nutshell. Her first impression was the look of the most motley crew that's ever been. More like bandits or crooks than soldiers, yet her many years of experience was telling her that each and every last one of them is a diamond in the rough...they also looked rather ragged...

"Another Settlement needs your help." Says Gravey through the intercom to a group of Minutemen who had just returned to base. They all groaned, "Really Gravey? Would it kill you to at least say thanks for helping?Just ONCE before you send us on another mission the instant we get back?"

"Sorry guys, I'm under a lot of pressure. Things are getting worse out there." Admits Gravey.

The Minuteman sighs, "Yeah, we know. I don't know how much longer we can keep this up, only a matter of time before- PONIES!?" Shouts the man as he sees the group come closer, they all raise their rifles in concern.

"Whoa, whoa!" Shouts Dave. "They come in peace! I present you Princess Celestia of Equestria and her entourage! She's come to talk to you about the political system and what not...

Celestia steps forward, "Please, I've learned of your people's plight. Let me discuss things with you so I may better understand the situation and help you."

There was a long pause...the intercom/security cam whirled as it focused on her...

"...Let her in..." Said Gravey.

The door began to open as the Minutemen cautiously lowered their guns.

The Raider gang leader nods, "Well, this is as far as we go. Were not allowed inside. We'll honor the McDonald Truce and leave you now...but next time? Watch your back." Said John, the Raider leader in a surprisingly carefree way.

Although initially angry at him for killing one of her ponies...after she got to know him she found she was a very likeable family man...who was also the leader of a large group of people who increasingly needed to attack, murder and rob other people to keep both themselves and their loved one's from starving...although he freely admitted that other raider groups tended to vary between lovable rouges and sociopathic killers so he advised she approach any other other raider group with caution.

Regardless she wished him and his family the best of luck and promised that when she brought them to Equestria she'd make sure they all had roofs over their heads and food in their bellies.

To her surprise he just snorted and teasingly replied that he'd 'believe that when he saw it'. He and his raiders then left. This surprised Celestia as she wasn't used to her words being so flatly disbelieved...or such cynicism.

Tyrone took her aside and told her to not take it personally. Humans here were so used to leaders promising the moon...and then falling flat on delivering it(among other things)...they're just naturally cynical at this point. It was either show them the proof...or don't waist their time.

"Plus...let's be honest...dropping such a large group of people into the middle of your country out of the blue...I doubt it'll be so straightforward..."

Before Celestia could respond to this, the Minutemen had finished escorting them into the compound.

It was a proverbial shanty-town. All houses looked to be quickly thrown together with any scrap they could find. Humans were all huddled around. Either forging weapons, standing in line for supplies, listening to a...what did Tyrone call it? A...Ra-Di-O? Anyway, although a bit nicer then outside...there was still an atmosphere of dread and trepidation...

Celestia smiled as she saw ONE happy sight. "Aw, it's adorable to see your little foals merrily playing ball as they kick the old- HUMAN SKULL!?"

Indeed, the children laughed as they kicked the human skull around.

"Right, just keep going. Keep trotting." Reassured Tyrone as he tore her shocked eyes away from the morbid sight and helped her forward.

As they walked forward, all the humans looked at the group...Celestia saw mixes of confusion, fear, anger, concern...and perhaps...hope?

"EXCELSIOR!" Suddenly a nice looking human with glasses and a white mustache walks up to the shrew of a woman and her henpecked husband(who Celestia realized, seemed to be an emaciated version of the approaching man).

Tyrone slaps his head, "Of course! Stan Lee! That's why he looked so familiar! Man, the last couple of days must've been harder on me then I thought!"

Celestia looked at her friend confused. "Who is Stan-

"Oh, thank Faust! Now my suffering can end!" Shouted the henpecked husband! He then quickly pops a weird pill-

"Oy! You holding out on me you useless lump!?" Snapped his hag of a wife...the old man just smiles...and keels over!?

Celestia gaped in horror, "Someone! Quick! This man-

Then to her surprise...the man's body glowed, then turned to glowing dots and flew into the 'Stan Lee'. Stan Lee shuddered, "Dang, this guy's life sucked! No wonder he was okay with ending it!"

He sighed and turned to the rather unmoved wife. "Okay...I guess I have a moral obligation to explain what happened to your husband-

"Pass. One less mouth to feed, that's all I need to know." Said the dispassionate woman flatly as she walked out of the group and the story.

"Er...I could use an explanation, if that's okay?" Said a still very shocked Celestia.

So Tyrone explained how Stan Lee was a being who existed simultaneously in multiple-universes. He could see and experience a lot of what his analogues did. His 'main' body(what was currently with them) could even call on the forms and skills of any of them.

"Makes Cameo's so much easier." Said Stan Lee with a wink.

Tyrone looks at him confused at that weird remark, before going on to explain further how some of his analogues weren't completely connected to them due to extenuating circumstances. But can merge with the MAIN body if they willingly kills himself(or a similar action).

Stan Lee quickly reassures her that this was what 'henpecked survivor Stan' wanted, now he could live on within him and his suffering was over.

Although still fairly confused...Celestia decides to take his word on this...in any case she was too fascinated in this anomaly. After all the horror and death it was nice to see something wondrous and strange!

"Wait, why would you want the skills and memories of someone so miserable?" She asked confused. Stan Lee shrugged. "Well first of all, the poor guy deserved an 'escape' from his miserable life. But secondly, I feel absorbing outlier Stan's like him are important. Keeps me humble, grounded even."

"In any case, how's life been treating you Stan?" Asked Tyrone.

Stan Lee sighed. "Could be better. The Prime Stan Lee passed away recently." He admitted sadly.

"Oh, no. That sucks." Admitted Tyrone. The Prime Stan Lee was the first and original Stan Lee. The one that made all the other Lee's famous and numerous throughout the multi-verse.

"Yeah, well...what can you do? That's life. He'll live on in the hearts of True Believers everywhere... Fortunately, he left his creations in good hands. Disney was doing wonders with Marvel the last time I checked...people are giving their handling of the Star Wars movies some flak...but I honestly liked the direction they were going." He then frowned thoughtfully, "Although they could've handled the 'Holdo situation' better...I will concede to that."

Celestia had no idea what they were talking about, but he and Tyrone gabbled like old friends as they continued to walk through the compound. Her curiosity was just about grow big enough to prompt her to interrupt them to ask Mr. Lee more questions-

When Wendy suddenly interrupts her interruption! "Hey, Tyrone. This is the first time I've heard about Stan Lee...how come I've never meet him before if you know him so well?"

Tyrone suddenly got a look of panic, "Uh-

Fortunately for Tyrone-

STOP! THIEF!

The group turned toward a commotion of one man chasing another man carrying a loaf of bread. Suddenly the silhouette of another popped out of nowhere and tackled the thief. Preston Garvey helped the guy up. "Jackson, what's wrong with you?! Your better then this!"

"It's not what you think!" Defended Jackson, "Earl here is a 'no-good-hoarder!' He kept extra food instead of handing it back to the community kitchen!" Jackson accused.

Gravey turned back toward Earl. "This true Earl?" Earl began to sweat, "Well, I, that is to say- He crumbled, "Come on, I found that loaf of bread fair and square in town! I earned it! Why shouldn't I keep it for myself!?"

Gravey just shakes his head, "Dang it people!" He begins to break the bread in two- "We already have enough things OUTSIDE trying to kill us! Don't make it easier for them!" Throws both slices to each of them- "The only way we'll survive this is the same way humanity has survived everything else...TOGETHER!"

He gives Jackson a pointed look just as he's about to eat the bread, "Of course you'll give most of that to the community kitchen, since I can only assume that was where you were taking it from a 'no-good-horder' as you put it." He says knowingly.

With so many witnesses around...Jackson had no choice but to reluctantly only take a smaller piece and give the rest away...

Celestia couldn't help but chuckle at that discrete put-down...as first impressions go...this was a pretty solid one...

'Finally, an authority figure who cares about his people and seems smart enough to do it effectively...maybe I can finally get some answers and things will start looking up..."

How wrong she was...

...

"Eagleland is dying...it's as simple as that." Said Gravey as he showed a jury-rigged holo-display...showing the entire country...all of it flashing red...

Celestia frowned as she saw all the water, food, oxygen, warmth and power indicators all beeping critical...and the one's regarding the plague wall were even more erratically bad!

She REALLY needed to ask someone what that was, but in the meantime...

"Is there...is there no way to save it?" Asked Celestia.

Gravey shook his head, "Frankly this dump was probably already close the point of no return BEFORE the riots, thanks to Ming Jol-ik's inept leadership squandering our resources..."

He said that last bit with a bitter sigh...how he regretted ever working for that evil man...but he- like everyone else in the country -had bought into his regime's fearmongering propaganda that the harsh, draconian restrictions were necessary to protect them all from the ponies, synths and everything else that lurked in the shadows. Also, the lie that 'as horrible as things were, the rest of the world is much worse and we have our glorious leader to thank for our prosperity' had been equally as pervasive.

He shakes these thoughts off and focuses back on the task at hand, "In any case, in addition to that. Destroying the rich district, the nerve center's and the various municipal utility distribution centers didn't help matters...Even if we did have the resources to fix things before everything fall's apart- which we DON'T -we just don't have the time to do so before the plague wall breaks down-

Before Celestia could FINALLY ask what the plague wall was-

"You said you got down here through a tunnel? Could we use it?" Interrupted Gravey hopefully.

Celestia shook her head, "Sorry, but it collapsed behind us and the structure is too unstable for me to risk making another entrance."

Gravey sighed, "Well...our only option is the Exodus Protocol then."

"Exodus Protocol?" Asked Celestia interested. Gravey quickly explains how when rummaging through the corrupted data from the remains of Ming Jol-ik's palace. It was learned the original creators of Eagleland built in a fail-safe that would allow everyone to evacuate to the surface in the event of an emergency.

"Well, that's great! What are we waiting for then?" Asked Celestia happily.

"Were waiting for a new leader to be elected, as the protocol can only be activated by the current LIVING leader that's been elected by a majority vote." Explained Gravey sadly. For not only was the system they needed on lockdown until a new leader was elected, but said system was one of many genetically-encrypted security functions in the city that only the leader could access.

He gestures to a strange device. "In the event of the death of a leader with no designated chain of succession to take his place- or in this case, no designated successor that WASN'T killed with him in the riot -these will automatically pop up in every house and public place to collect electronic ballots to elect a new leader."

Celestia looked at the strange device thoughtful, "Well...alright, but why haven't you had elections yet?"

"Who says we haven't?"

Right on que the machine beeped...

The results are in...

Processing...

Error...No clear majority...can't process...

Election invalid.

Please fix technical error-5647X and start again.

Celestia's eye's widen. "What was that about?" She asked confused.

"THAT, was the 136th election we've had in a row..." Said Gravey gravely. He goes over to the holo-map and begins to tweak it, suddenly the city is shown again- but this time it's divided into overlapping color-coding.

"The riot not only destroyed the only places we could access the otherwise hack-proof election system, but it also damaged it! It's glitching and unable to acknowledge a new leader unless he gets a clear majority of at least 51%." He shakes his head sadly, "When we shoot ourselves in the foot...we REALLY shoot ourselves in the foot..."

Celestia frowned, but decided not to comment. "In any case...although inconvenient...are you saying that no one can get a clear majority? How many people are running?"

Gravey gestures to the holo-map. "For all intents and purposes the overall power structure of Eagleland has apparently shifted into the hands of 6 major powers in the aftermath of the destruction of the rich district."

He points out these major powers one by one: The 6 families, The warehouse, The cult of Romulus, The railroad, the Throgmorton family and of course the Minutemen.

"None of them can get a clear majority of their own...and they either hate each either or don't know enough to trust them...myself included." He admitted.

This surprised Celestia, "Why? What's wrong with them?"

Gravey pointed them off one after the other. "Well, the '6 families' are basically the major crime families of the country...as for the Cult of Romulus... well, let's just say they didn't become the ONLY official religion in Eagleland through love and tolerance..."

He continues on, "As for the other three...I didn't even know Throgmorton's family EXISTED until the voting started. I know NOTHING about them save for their name and the fact they apparently live INSIDE the plague wall. Oh, and it seems like everyone voting for their candidates are EXCLUSIVELY Plague wall residents..." He frowns as he looks at the other two, "The warehouse I know a little bit more...but only through Cult of Romulus and Supreme leader smear campaigns...the fact their against them is a point in their favor...but again, I know almost NOTHING about them..."

Celestia looked like she was about to say something- "I know, I know. Simply not knowing much about them isn't an excuse on it's own to not trust them...but try to understand. I've made too many mistakes, allowed too many innocent people to be hurt all because I put my trust in the wrong man. These people trust me, I OWE it to them to be cautious about any new 'leaders'."

Celestia again frowns at that, but decides to move on for the moment, "Right, and about the Railroad...?"

Gravey looked a bit uncomfortable here, "Well...like the warehouse I only know what the 6 families and the Supreme leader smear campaigns have said for the most part...in addition to that...well, it's complicated. But suffice to say, even if by some miracle a candidate of theirs got elected...they'd probably be overthrown within minutes-

"What!? WHY!?" Demanded Celestia confused. Gravey shook his head, "That's not important. What is important, is that with you here. We have another option for a leader...YOU."

Celestia's eyes widen, "Me? But I'm a pony! I'm not even native to this land!"

"No, but you have the means to provide what EVERYONE here wants...ESCAPE and a HOME. You are the most powerful- magically as well as POLITICALLY -here. You promise to bring them out of this deathtrap and into a new home, the people will rally behind you! If the Railroad, Warehouse and Throgmortens are any good, they'll see you as the best hope for the people. As for the Cult and the families? If they don't want to risk losing influence and political clout, they'll HAVE to throw their support behind you. For all their MANY faults they're savvy politicians, they know when to recognize and side with the winning horse- pun not intended -Also, thanks to the revelations behind your failed assassination and leaking of classified data afterwards...most of the anti-pony propaganda has been debunked and most people should be willing to give a pony leader a try..."

"Really?" Asked Celestia incredulously.

"Well... more willing to have you then anyone else here in any case." Admited Gravey sheepishly. He knew very well that his former career as one of Ming Jol-ik's district supervisors weren't doing him any favors with potential voters...

Celestia thought about this...she WANTED to refuse. It wouldn't be right for her to just take over. These people need more than just a replacement for their tyrannical ruler. Just because she would never take advantage of them herself doesn't mean it's healthy in the long run for them for her to take over...

"Is there truly no other way?" Asked Celestia desperately, "Could we not at least reach out to the Railroad, the Warehouse and the Throgmortons? Maybe come to some form of compromise?"

"No one knows where any of them are, the first two were labeled criminal organizations under Ming Jol-ik's reign. And while he maybe dead, the cult and the families are still hunting for them. Take it from someone who is from a long line of people who was ordered to hunt them down, they ain't going to be found unless they WANT to be found. As for the Throgmortons, again all I know is that there somewhere in the plague wall. And trust me, unless you have EXACT details of a location and a guide, they might as well be on the moon."

Celestia frowned thoughtfully, This was something she was extremely reluctant to do. She doesn't want to have to rule over anybody anymore than she wanted to rule over any pony...

...on the other hand...she remembered what Starswirl told her on her coronation day; "Those who want power don't deserve it, and those who deserve power don't want it..."

"Is, there TRULY no way to contact them?"

Gravey shrugged, "Honestly? You were lucky to only run into a raider on the way over here. It's chaos in the streets out there as one faction tries to undermine or kill the other to make things easier for their candidate. The communication system is either a mess or locked down until the next leader reactivates it. My technicians can contact any of MY people and to a lesser extent some outliers and neutral factions...but that's pretty much it."

Celestia thinks deeply on this...so it was either she gain control of yet ANOTHER nation...or let them die...well...not much of a choice was there?

Suddenly feeling every year of her many millennia of life...she gives him a nod. Gravey returns it and immediately calls his technicians to both explain the process to her and contact all their people and Minutemen to tell them to spread the word and vote for Celestia...

There was some complication regarding her not being a citizen, but a quick call to a local hacker group quickly sorted that out. They even gave her ponies citizen status so they could vote for her as well.

Celestia puts her hoof to the voting device, allowing it to gain her genetic template and hoofprint. "Attention, all who listen...I, Princess Celestia of Equestria hereby announce my candidacy for the next leader of Eagleland."

The machine acknowledges this and began to process it. Celestia was told it usually took hours- or even days - after a ballot before enough 'Politicking' had been done by enough candidates for them to declare they were ready to start another...

So it was to their surprise when not more then five minutes after she announced her candidacy that the ballot devices begin to pop up all over and declare the next election was beginning...

Everyone watched with baited breath...

Many years from now, Historians would go on to compare the humans decision to that of the tribes of ancient South America -whose domestic situation was so bad, they were willing to trust foreigners over their own people - supported Cortez's rise to power if he would get ride of the Aztecs for them...except this time it won't end tragically...mostly...

The results are in...

Processing...

75% majority reached!

Princess Celestia has won!

...

Celestia groaned, her head pounded. She...vaugley remembered the celebration the Minutemen had in her honor...they gave her some strange new drink...Al-ca-hol? Was that it?

Celestia opened her eye's...and immediately went on alert! She was floating in a dark void the brimmed with demonic energy...and she wasn't alone...

Encircling her were a gaggle of seven demons(1)...

There was a towering being made of shadows, green face, razor-sharp teeth and eyebrows made of fire.

Another resembled that of a wizard donned in a purple-blue robe covered in stars. He wore a pair of shades that flashes. Underneath his cloak seemed to lie an accumulation of darkness. Above his robe, he wore blue pauldrons and a small red medallion around his neck. He has gray skin and teeth that are sharp and jagged. He also had thin bony arms with claws on both of his fingers.

Another was a greyish-yellow, humanoid dragon with red eyes. He wore shorts for some reason. Although fairly big, he was nowhere near the size of Dragon lord Thorn...but nevertheless, Celestia sensed he was not to be underestimated.

She nearly jumped back in fright as the hugest, green serpent she'd ever seen leapt forward and nearly bit her before coiling around the circle himself. His body oozed with a venom that seemed to corrupt and twist anything it touch...

Celestia gagged at the next horrific sight...which she immediately regretted as doing so got a lungful of the most toxic stench she'd ever smelled! Seriously, even Discords septic world smelled better! Before her was a grotesque yellow, insect-like abomination. Riddled in pulsing, red bedsores, he sat atop of throne of filth and decay that actually covered a large portion of his body as if it was merged to him!...stinking to high heaven all the while...

The next one was a bit more 'tame'...He was a horned and winged being, he had a humanish, yet demonic look. Although this was hard to tell considering most of his body was covered in red priest-attire, covered in bizarre iconography...he was the least threatening and smallest of the lot so far...and yet...Celestia couldn't help but get the feeling that she was standing near a dormant volcano...one that could blow and kill everyone any second...

The last one confused her! For a moment she thought a human had gotten trapped here as well! But then she felt an unsettling demonic energy coming from him too...

He looked like a 'normal' 1900's human affluent gentleman, complete with a large goatee and matching mustache. Relaxing in a rather oppulant chair, drinking scotch from a goblet shaped glass, of all things!...and yet...judging by the way the others differed to him, Celestia sensed he was the leader of this bunch...which meant he was the most dangerous...

"Hello my dear...sorry for the inconvenience, but we felt it prudent to have a word with you..."

"Who are you?" Asked Celestia still on guard, struggling not to panic and asses the situation further.

The apparent leader smiled, "Oh, of course! Where are my manners? We are the Seven deadly sins: Lust, Greed, Envy, Gluttony, Sloth, Wrath and of course me...Pride."

Celestia quirks a confused eyebrow at the towering demon of shadows and flaming eyebrows. "lust?" She asked confused, not seeing it.

The Shogun of Sorrow shrugged, "Eh, my specialty is more 'Lust for power' then anything else." Then to Celestia's shock, he transforms into a smaller, sexier, female version of himself. "But I can moonlight the 'traditional' lust when need be." 'She' gives her a flirtatious wink, causing the alicorn to shudder disturbed...

He pauses to take a puff of his cigar. "And until last night...WE were the rulers of the Kingdom of man."

This got Celestia's attention, "Oh? I was under the impression Ming Jol-ik was the leader before me?" She asked probing for more intel.

Pride gladly obliged, "Eh...more of a regent, Really. Every would-be leader that has been on the throne because we allowed it. You see, when this great nation was created when the time of man ended with the world nearly being destroyed...the founders made a covenant with us. In exchange for -among other things- power and immortality, we gained dominion of the last bastion of kingdom of man and ownership of all the souls of their subjects and those of their descendants.

Celestia hissed at that, such selfishness! Condemning their own subjects and their CHILDREN to demonic servitude simply to live for...

And then then the full implications of what he'd said, hit her... "Wait, where ARE the founders then?" She was fairly sure she'd have heard about immortal Founders since coming here...

Pride shrugged, "Most killed each other out of back-stabbing, the rest?...who can say? Far as we can tell, their not in Eagleland anymore, for whatever that's worth."

Celestia frowned, well that was certainly a concern...but she shrugged it off in the usual pony fashion of a currently unseen problem: 'Don't worry about it until it starts causing problems for you'...besides, she had bigger concerns...

"In any case", continued Pride. "Things have basically been the same here for us, for millennia. Founders or no, the contract was binding to all human descendants, as were whatever 'leaders' they picked. The 'families' would prop up one would-be-dictator after another. Each one living like a good little puppet king, until the people either grew tired of him or he was about to cause irreparable harm to Eagleland and he needed to be replaced. The cult of Romulus kept the peace in all things supernatural. We kept getting paid in human souls. Everything hummed along nicely...until now."

Celestia tried to contain her curiosity, she had so many questions! Especially, what dose being a 'puppet-king' entail? But right now she needed to focus on the current crisis "You say you get ride of a leader before they caused more problems then they were worth...and yet I can't help but notice how broken this nation is." Indeed, as much problems as that riot that had deposed Ming Jol-ik had inadvertently caused...it frankly looked like the nation had been falling apart even BEFORE that!

Pride frowned, annoyed. "The last reign had...complications. Among other things, we underestimated the sheer idiocy of the so called 'Supreme Leader.'" He said that last bit as if it were poison in his mouth. "But never mind that. That fool is no longer relevant. What IS relevant is where we go from here...as you can no doubt understand, your different from the others we've had to deal with."

Briefly noting how quickly he wished to change the topic- and vowing to find more about these 'complications' later -she pressed on, "I'm not a HUMAN leader." She pointed out flatly.

Pride nodded, "Yes the terminology, wording and overall legality of the contract was under the assumption that only humans would ever take the throne...thus, the ownership of the kingdom of man is now in a bit of a legal grey area we wish to have rectified as soon as possible." He pauses to take another gulp of scotch. "Look, your obviously a very busy mare. So I shan't waste your time and get to the point...what will it take for you to renounce your new crown and give it over to us?"

Celestia gives a derivative snort, "Oh, is this the part where you offer me wealth, luxuries and a harem of pretty stallions?" She asks dryly.

Pride chuckles, "No, nothing quite so shallow...We can be a great help to you if you only allow us my dear..." He snaps his fingers and before Celestia could even blink...she was somewhere else...

And not just anywhere else...

"My castle!?" Exclaimed Celestia as she saw her beloved original castle, no longer a miserable ruin...but lovingly restored to it's former glory!

And then she felt the welcoming embrace of a set of hooves she thought she'd never feel again...the caress and shine of a all-too-familiar silky blue- twinkling like stars -mane.

Luna sobs. "Oh, sister how I missed you!"

Celestia just looks at her stunned, I- Wha- Luna?! What-

"MOMMY!" Squeaked a little filly as she runs into her arms.

This only further deepened Celestia's confusion as the small bundle of orange, red and yellow snuggled into her bosom...and seeing it fully, made her begin to cry... "Sunset?" She squeaked out...

And that wasn't the end of it, the window open up to the sound of celebration and merriment! Somehow, Celestia craned her neck to get a good look out the window...and what a sight it was!

outside was a large crowd of every type of being and creature...all friends and in harmony with each other. The world in eternal peace, the magic of friendship accepted by all. Threats such as Discord, Tirek, Crysalis and sombra are dealt with forever!...it was all Celestia ever dreamed of and more!

"See my dear?" Said Pride suddenly appearing beside her, "All this and more can be yours...simply give us what was already ours and we shall hand over the rest of the nations of the world to you. Your loved one's returned, your people free of strife...simply say YES...and we have a deal...

Celestia looked around...all the love and happiness...It was SO very tempting.

And it wouldn't be the first time she's done something that she would have preferred not go into the history books...which never did of course.

But, she never did that...Her little ponies did.

She'd never washed history or pretended she never did something... Others did that while her attention was elsewhere. Quite unable to accept these 'obvious lies and slander' against the princess pretending to be history. Celestia couldn't help but give a sad smile to that...if they only knew...

in any case...It was tempting.

"No."

But she knows better...

The illusion shattered, "What!?" Shouted the demons in disbelief.

Ignoring the ache in her heart, Celestia stood resolute, "This is not the first time I've been offered such a deal."

'This time I refuse to take it.' She thinks to herself before continuing on.

"Your offer was better then most, I'll give you that. But Harmony brought about in such a manner is doomed to failure. You can't build real harmony on the back of deals like this. There's always a price. Always a downside.

A lesson Celestia sadly had to learn the hard way...

The demons were flummoxed for a moment...but they weren't demon lords for nothing! They quickly regained their composure...and came at the princess through another method...

Greed steps forward, "My dear, you have this all wrong! Were doing you a favor! Were getting the bad side of this deal, really!"

He blows some smoke from his mouth, it from images of the ruins of Eagleland, corpses littering the streets, the death of Kenny, the broken, dying bodies of those cute six fillies back in Equestria, and the mutilated rotting corpses that used to be the Supreme leader and his cabinet.

"Look upon these humans, the chaos, death and destruction they wrought! Do you really want all this? For this to happen among your beloved little ponies?"

Celestia remained silent, so Greed continued. "And that is not all! Behold! The folly of humans past!" Soon more images of the past appeared. This time showing the world consumed in fire, ice and shadow...of giant machines making war with eldritch beings that defied description...of shadowy figures that seemed to warp and corrupt the very essence of existence...

Greed smiled wickedly as Celestia's face turned to horror and disgust of the levels of brutality she'd never seen before!, "Look upon it all! They destroyed everything! Fools, these humans are! The lot of them! They dabble in forces beyond their comprehension! Their avarice and greed destroyed the very world they lived on! You think you can Co-exist with them? They can co-exist with each other! Think my dear...do you REALLY want this timebomb among your ponies? Do you want such evil to rise again? Why gamble with the lives of your people? Take our bribe and run, save yourself and return to your kingdom of harmony and friendship and give no more thought to this doomed and wretched cesspit of a nation and it's criminal people...

Celestia quickly recomposes herself...and just silently glares "...You know. I really hate it when a whole group is soiled by the actions of a few. What kind of fool do you take me for!? I've literally been in the company of many good humans these past several days! Obviously not all of them are evil!"

"Were not unreasonable, any humans you've come to see as friends could easily be excluded from the deal and allowed to go with..." Greed began, but Celestia stopped him once more.

"And what about all the other good humans I don't know?"

"How do you know there are any other good-

"Please stop using stereotypes and 'Their ancestor did evil, so so are they' arguments. That's just sad." Stated Celestia with a huff.

Envy snorted, "Your one to talk, the stereotype of 'ponies who universally believe in love and friendship and spend all our days skipping through meadows and singing along with choirs of birds, hoof in hoof'. Matches the majority of your race to a T!"

Celestia stood still for a moment then nods, "Fair enough...but regardless. Putting aside the possibility of other good humans and humans that could do good if simply given the chance and better living conditions...something you said just now REALLY interested me..."

Greed looked confused..."What?" He asked cautiously.

"You say I'm getting the 'better part of the deal'...yet, if that's true...why are you fighting for this 'cesspit' so vigorously? What do you get out of this if I agree to your terms?" She asked inquisitively.

Greed paled, "Uh..."

The other demons groaned at Greed's incompetence, but still they weren't deterred...so Wrath pushed Greed aside and confronted Celestia with yet another tactic...

"Very well my dear, you have us... We do have a very big reason for wanting this 'cesspit'."

Envy quickly came forward to stop him, but Pride held him back...

"When the founders created this land- among other things -they sealed almost all the evil of the world behind what the humans so naively refer to as the 'plague wall.' This wall will soon be fit to burst! Not only due to humans incompetence but the recent riots will have put in jeopardy! All the evil contained within those walls shall be unleashed upon the earth! You don't want that, your ponies and all other races will suffer!"

He quickly creates more images of ghastly apparitions invading the streets, inanimate objects coming to life, strange abominations rising from the depths of the sea...

Again, Celestia was unnerved by the images she was being showed...but she stayed firm and composed, lest she give these demons satisfaction of seeing her frightened...

Wrath ended the images and continued his speech. -And WE, don't want that. The plague wall has basically become the demonic equivalent of a humans stock market/black market for us. So many VERY lucrative privileges and deals we've set up will be ruined. A lose/lose situation all around."

Celestia briefly notes how he didn't show the images regarding THEIR side of things...

"I fail to see why this should convince me to hand the majority of humanity over to you...this is all the more reason for me to save them if anything." She points out flatly.

"Our method to rebuild and empower the plague wall, requires a 'sacrifice' on the humans part." Explained Pride...

Celestia's eye's widen as she connected the dots... "What...what will you do to them!?" She demanded horrified.

Pride smirked, "Us? Why were only seeing justice be done really. Putting aside, the riots that damaged it's power supply and the 'supreme leaders' overall incompetence...before ALL that...would you like to know...HOW the plague wall got damaged?"

Suddenly an image appeared...Celestia got an eyefull of strange human-like beings and mechanical men being beaten, attacked and blown to bits while they begged for mercy...but the malicious humans gleefully ignored their please...

"They've avoided telling you about, haven't they? The synths? The uprising? The trial of B1-66ER? The REAL purpose of the Railroad? So desperate were the synths to escape the slaughter they defied all expectations and blew a large of chunk of the plague wall out to escape to it's ghastly confines!"

Celstia was stunned by this revelation...while the demons encircled her...

Lust laughed, "HA! Yes my dear, it is foolish humans in their hubris and xenophobia that shall soon unleash unspeakable evil upon your little ponies lives!"

Envy cackled, "Yes...but you and your people need not suffer for the humans incompetence. Relinquish the crown of the kingdom of man to us and we promise to keep the evil contained among the humans. And you and your ponies can continue to enjoy the peace and harmony you love so dear...

Wrath nodded Yes...the humans dug this hole. No reason for you and yours to be dragged down into it. Forget this cesspit, return to your kingdom of love and friendship and do not give this cursed race another thought.

Pride stepped forward, "Let the age of man finally die out and the age of pony truly begin...we will reward you greatly...mark my words..."

Celestia did her best to bite back the tears over the massacre of innocence, and glared at them resolute. "Again, do you take me to be a fool? There are two sides to every story, while I don't doubt there is truth in what you say. I REFUSE to make such a big decision until I hear BOTH sides of it! But once again you fail to understand how ridiculous it is for you to assume I'd honestly believe that the actions of a few represent an entire people!

"The humans 'chose' the leaders that did this to the the synths! They chose to let them do it!" Pointed out Pride, some aggravation starting to leak into his otherwise cultured and refined voice.

Celestia noticed this and risked a smirk. Amused, that she was starting to get under their skin. "Then they'll just have to be more careful next time. A large part of your entire plan is to convince me that the actions of a few are echoed throughout an entire species. That every last one of them is rotten to the core...but I choose to believe the opposite. That these humans are as wonderful and terrible and nasty and kind and petty and generous and as perfectly flawed as everypony. As every'body' else. What will be will be. But I won't punish the many for the actions of the few.

Greed snarled, losing his patience. "Listen to me you nag! Humanity once destroyed the world, nearly brought their own people to extinction, they tampered with things beyond their understanding, the very boundaries of life and death were broken! And although much of that potential has been lost, it could be shirly found again...with the right 'guidance' of course. He smirked wickedly. Were not without our influence and followers my dear...we can make things very unpleasent for you and your pathetic ponies! Think rationally my dear, do you REALLY want this timebomb among your ponies? Do you want such evil to rise again? All the evils and wickedness of man made flesh and murdering each other? Why gamble with the lives of your people? Take our bribe and run, save yourself and return to your kingdom of harmony and friendship and-

Celestia interrupts with an impatient snort. "And now the pleasantries have been pushed aside and now were just threatening each other...I think were done here." She felt like she was dealing with spoiled brats tacking on new rules to a game their playing against someone whose beating them so theirs no chance of them losing. There was no pint in playing with such people...so she wasn't even going to try.

She turns her backside to them and starts to trot off.

"Now if you don't mind. Return to whatever oval you came from. I have a new nation to attend to.

"Their circles." Spoke Sloth for the first time, dimly.

"Then you should dismiss the architect then." Celestia snarked.

Suddenly, the demons appear in front of her again. Now quite furious. "You think you can just send us away like misbehaving children?" Exclaimed Pride, all trace of civility gone.

Celestia shrugs, "Why not? I do it all the time at my school." She said with a smirk

"You seriously think that your people can live side by side with the humans just like that!" Snarled envy.

Celestia sighs. "I doubt it'll be easy, no. It WILL hurt. But without adversity how can we become better?"

The demons looked like they were about to say more.

"Right, I think that's about enough of that." Said Ronald McDonald popping out of nowhere...

"Away with you clown! This doesn't concern you and your neutrality binds you!" the demons screamed...

"I'm not breaking my neutrality, I'm simply stopping my fellow deities from compromising their own restrictions. Very bad for your health after all, how can I not be concerned?" Said Ronald in a haughty tone, much to the demons annoyance

Celestia quirked an eyebrow, "Restrictions?" She asked curious.

"Well, yeah. The restrictions that were placed on them by the founders when they tricked them with the deal and physically bound them to Eagleland, sealing them to the very ground itself. Making it impossible for them to break their deals, force people to make deals against their will, brainwash them to do so, directly cause problems for the rulers of the land, or physically leaving their prison. The only way for them to break free of such a deal would be a if a legal grey-area ruler- i.e. YOU -were to willingly hand over the crown of the kingdom of man DIRECTLY to them. Then they'd be under no obligation to keep their deal with you and be free to kill and enslave you and your ponies."

Explained Ronald before the demons could stop him with mischievous amusement. "What, didn't they tell you that?" He asked with a devilish smirk.

Celestia returned the smirk, "No...funny enough, it didn't come up."

Knowing they'd lost, they wake up Sloth, stop Gluttony from eating the void and left grumbling...

"This isn't over Celestia! You haven't seen the last of us!" Shouted back Envy...

Celestia, not being able to resist. Get's one last smug jab in. Oh, I would hope not. Although I won't let you rule Considering what you represent. Your vital to this world, as necessary to the very nature of being alive as breathing. I mean really -she smiles- procreation without lust? That takes all the fun out of it."

But to everyone surprise, Lust got the final word...

"Oh, yes. You certainly proved how important I am last night..." Agreed Lust smugly.

Celestia looked at him confused, "What are you- But they were already gone.

"Sorry that took so long Celestia. But in accordance with the rules of narrative causality, I had to let things play out."

"Plus, I imagine it didn't hurt that this was a good opportunity to secretly test the character of your new neighbor?" Snarked Celestia pointedly.

Ronald continued to smile, "Not so fun being on the other end of this, is it?" He teased.

Celestia sighed... "Let me guess...you going to give me some cryptic nonsense of what I need to do next?" She asked exasperated.

He shrugged, "ordinarily yes. But since were nearing the end of this dream very quickly. I'll just sum it up for you: Your not yet done in this land, more trials and choices to come, your decisions will have consequences that echo throughout the ages, everything is not what it seems. etc, etc."

Celestia sighed, 'Sweet Hasbro, no wonder Sunset went nuts and left me...' She thinks...and then another though popped up. 'Or maybe she was perfectly sane...and I'M the one who went nuts...well, that's a scary thought.'

And then a THIRD thought came, "Wait, what did lust mean by that last remark?" She asked finally.

Ronald just smiled, "You had quite the party last night Celestia, you deserve a reward..." And he vanished, just as the dream world started to collapse...

Celestia huffed annoyed! "Saying seemingly random thing and dissapearing mysteriously to leave it to me to figure out dose NOT make you 'cool and mysterious!' It's just annoy- She paused mid-sentence, and hoof palms herself.

"...Just as it's no doubt been annoying to the dozens of others I've done that over the years- Sweet Faust, this is bittersweet!" Was Celestia's last words before being yanked from the land of slumber...

...

Celestia blinked...he head was pounding...and she was covered with what she was fairly sure was her own vomit...but that didn't concern her. She was too busy focusing on the VERY underage and NAKED Tyrone that she'd woken up with in her graps and had clearly made love to last night...as was an equally naked and equally recently deflowered Wendy who was cuddling next to her...

"Oh, boy." She groaned.

Wendy peeked out, "I know what your thinking...but it's actually much worse then that..."

Celestia's eye's widen in horrified realization as she ignored the pain in her head to do a quick magic scan of her surroundings...which quickly showed she'd made love to over 75% of the compound- male, female, pony AND human...

Celestia groaned harder mortified...just in time for a magic HOWLER to pop out of thin air-

"YOU BITCH! HOW DARE YOU RAVISH MY STALLION! HE'S MINE!" Screamed Candace's voice to a now sobbing Celestia as her headache got worse...

And thus the Myth of Celestia the 'Sex Goddess' was born...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

AN: Dedicated to the memory of Stan Lee, Excelsior good buddy...

1: in order we have: Aku, eNeMeE, Shendu, the Great Devourer, Sloth(he was too lazy to get a better name), Daemon, Ivo Shandlor

AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!

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