John felt someone hovering over him. They placed a cool, damp cloth on his forehead and then ran it slowly down each of his cheeks. It felt good. He opened his eyes to see Grace smiling down at him. He managed a weak grin as he blinked his eyes to focus on her.
"Hey, Grace..." His voice was thick and raspy with sleep.
"How are you feelin', hon? Any pain?"
John shook his head. "Just tired...and thirsty."
Grace filled a cup with water, dropped a straw in it, and held it to his lips. "It's nice and cold."
The cold water felt good as it filled his dry mouth and ran down his throat. He drank what he needed and gently pushed it away. "Thank you." His eyelids felt like they had weights pulling them down and he was having trouble keeping them open.
Grace noticed him struggling to stay awake. "Don't fight it, John. They gave you a sedative...you need to rest, you're exhausted. Everything's okay...just rest."
"Jessie..." He mumbled sleepily. He was fighting a losing battle to stay awake.
"She's being taken care of, honey...shhh." Grace put her hand on his forehead and moved her thumb in small circles, in the spot just between his eyes, to soothe him. "That's it..." She watched his face softened, as his body relaxed, and listened as his breathing became deep and steady with sleep. Leaning down and kissing his cheek, she whispered. "It's good to have you back." She adjusted his blankets, checked his I.V. ports and left his room to go check on Jessie.
The attending Emergency Room doctor, Buccannon, called out to her when he saw her walking down the hall towards Jessie's room.
"Dr. Alverez," He walked quickly to meet her halfway. "I was looking for you. We're going to go ahead with the ice bath...there's been no change in Miss O'Doyle's temperature. They're bringing her to it now... I thought you would want to tell your friends. The room we use is close to the waiting room...you need to prepare them for what they may hear."
"Thank you, Doctor, I will. Hopefully, she won't regain consciousness until it's over."
"I'll send someone for you if I need to."
Grace nodded. She walked through the waiting room doors and tried to hide the concern she felt, but it didn't work. Sam picked up on it right away.
"What's wrong?" Sam didn't try to hide hers, concern showed all over her face. "Are they okay?"
"John's fine. He's sleeping." Grace took a deep breath. "It looks like Jessie's going to need the ice bath, though, that's why I came out here. Listen, everyone, if she wakes up, it's going to be very uncomfortable for her...and you'll hear it." Grace tried to put it as delicately as she could. "It will sound bad, but trust me, she needs it if she's going to get better."
Buccannon looked on as two orderlies lifted Jessie's limp body, covered only in a hospital gown, from the gurney and placed her into a tub half-filled with water and ice. They stood on either side of the tub, watching and waiting, ready to spring into action if she were to wake up and realize where she was. A minute, that was all they had to wait before Jessie's mind screamed for her to wake up and get the hell out of Dodge because it was too damn cold to lay there.
The cold water brought her from her warm, comfortable darkness and slammed her into a freezing, harsh florescent-light reality. She thrashed against the cold porcelain tub and the orderlies knelt, as they reached into it to hold her down, to keep her from hurting herself. She opened her eyes, fully aware now, and struggled hard as they held her. Buccannon knelt down in front of her and tried to calm her. He tried to explain what was happening, but she wasn't hearing any of it. Fighting them, with panic-induced strength, she pushed, kicked, and thrashed around the tub, making it near impossible for the orderlies to hold her. Then, came the yelling and screaming. Calling Patrick, Sal, Robert and just about everyone else she could remember, in her current state of mind, she screamed for help. The water was too cold. It was so cold that it hurt. She begged for John, remembering how warm she felt when he was holding her. Calling out to him, she begged him over and over again to help her, to keep her warm.
"Jesus, it sounds like torture." Robert stood up and began to pace. They could hear Jessie loud and clear through the waiting room walls and he wanted it to stop.
Joey tried to block it out by covering his ears, but it didn't work. He wanted desperately to answer her, to help her, but he knew there was nothing he could do. He started to feel sick. He needed to get some air before his stomach emptied out all over the waiting room floor. "I need some air." He got up and walked quickly through the waiting room doors and to the nearest exit.
Brian paled and was visibly shaken, as he sat feeling useless, listening to Jessie's struggling. "For Christ's sake couldn't they have done something else."
"Nothing else worked...it was the only option they had," Grace told him.
"How long does she have to be in there?" Bailey leaned forward in his chair, squeezing the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. He was trying to keep his reaction neutral, for the sake of the other's, but he wasn't sure he could do it much longer.
"They want to get her temp down to at least 101, so it depends on how quickly her body reacts and adjusts. They'll keep her in there until they get the number they're looking for."
"Excuse me, Dr. Alverez." A nurse said from behind her. "Dr. Buccannon is asking for you."
Grace nodded, then looked over at Robert. "This is it...you sure you want to go in there?"
"No, but I'm going anyway." Robert followed Grace and the nurse through the double doors that would take him to Jessie.
"This is crazy...how could they let her go on like that...I can't believe there's no other way." Brian stood up and rubbed the back of his neck in frustration. He started to pace, trying to decide what he wanted to do. "I can't listen to it anymore...she shouldn't have to go through that, not after everything's she's been through already. I'm gonna go check on Joey...could you..."
"We'll come to get you...when it's done," Sam told him.
"Yeah...uh...thanks. Thank you."
"It's hard for them," Sam said, watching as Kerrigan left the waiting room.
"It's hard for everyone," Bailey stated matter-of-factly.
"C'mon, you've seen them, Bailey...they're a family...like we're a family. Patrick was more than 'the boss' to them, you can see that, and they're all Jessie's protectors...her big brothers...and like any big brother, they feel useless when they can't help."
"Speaking of big brothers, I'm glad John was spared this. He's been through a lot, I'm worried about him."
Sam smiled inwardly, John was the son Bailey never had, and she loved the moments it showed. She put her hand on Bailey's. "He'll be okay, Bailey...he has us and he has Jessie...he'll get through it, so she can."
Brian found Joey sitting on the bumper of a parked ambulance, smoking a cigarette.
"When did you start smoking?" He asked sitting down next to him.
"Tonight. I bummed it off a security guard." Joey looked at Brian and frowned. "I thought they were supposed to settle your nerves."
Brian smiled. "Yeah, I heard that one too. You okay?"
"I just couldn't listen anymore...I wanted to go in there...to make it stop...Jesus, you heard her, she was in pain."
"I know, buddy, I know...but it's gonna help her, you'll see."
"Sal, Patrick, and now...this. She shouldn't have to deal with so much...she deserves better." He threw the cigarette down and grounded it into the asphalt with his foot. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I love her, Brian...I love her a lot."
"I know you do."
"I never told her...I mean, I've said 'I love you', but I haven't told her I'm in love with her...I didn't think it would matter...if Patrick ever found out we were ever together...well, I could just imagine what he would've done...Robert and Sal were bad enough...I was so scared when Jessie told them we were seeing each other...they said to wait and see how the relationship developed before we tell Patrick...now he'll never know. He'll never know, he introduced me to the one...the one person I want to be with...always."
Brian smiled at him. He envied him for knowing, at 26, what he had yet to figure out at 35. "Patrick liked you a lot, Joey...and he had to trust you even more... he trusted you to watch over Jessie when he couldn't...there are very few of us that he gave that trust to." He put his hand on Joey's shoulder and squeezed. "He probably would have hated it at first, but I think Patrick would have been okay with you two...I think he would have been happy for both of you."
"I wish I could know for sure, though, ya know?"
"Yeah, kid, I know."
"We should probably go back inside, huh?"
"Not if you don't want to, Joey."
"I want to...I want to be there for her."
"Okay, let's head back in."
Robert had tried to prepare himself for what he was about to walk in to, after all, he heard what it sounded like, but it was ten times worse then what he had imagined. He watched, completely shaken and dumbfounded, for several minutes as the two orderlies tried to hold Jessie down, safely, in the water while Buccannon knelt by her head, holding it, to keep her from banging it against the tub. She had worked herself up into a frenzy and he was talking to her, trying desperately to reach her. She was fighting them hard. Yelling, cursing, screaming. Never letting up. The orderlies were definitely paying for holding her down. One had the beginnings of a black eye and scratches on his face, the other had a bloody nose and fat lip. Buccannon looked up, noticing Robert and Grace for the first time.
"Check her temp." He told Grace, then focused on Robert. "We could use your help...don't worry, it's uncomfortable and she's scared, but it's not hurting her."
Robert nodded nervously. He stepped up to the side of the tub and called Jessie's name until she heard him.
Jessie stopped struggling when Robert's voice, finally, got through to her. Her eyes locked on his, they were wild and pleading with him. "Robert! Please help me! Please get me out of here, please!" Her voice was hoarse from all her yelling and screaming. "Please, it hurts...it's too cold...it hurts...Robert please."
"103.9," Grace told Buccannon. She had taken advantage when Jessie had stopped struggling and slipped the thermometer into her ear. Jessie never even felt it. "Just a little bit longer, Jessie."
"What!?" Jessie just realized that neither of them was there to help her...to rescue her. She looked desperately at Robert, her eyes both accused and begged him. "Robert please..."
"Jess, listen to me...we need to get your temperature down...this is the only way...you have to-"
He really wasn't going to help her...she went crazy. "I hate you!" She screamed at him. She fought the orderlies and Buccannon, with everything she had, while cursing and yelling at Robert. Telling him she hated him, will always hate him for this and calling him every foul name she knew.
Robert flinched, visibly, the verbal attack clearly hitting home. He knew she didn't mean it, that she didn't know what she was saying, that it was just her illness speaking, but it felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest. His first thought was to say 'screw it' and get her out of there...to do what she had begged him to do, but he knew he couldn't. She needed this to get better. His second thought was to do what he knew Patrick would have done ... climb in there, hold her, and suffer with her, but he knew that was physically impossible. 'Either I'm too big or the tub's too small...take your pick.' He said to himself. 'Stop thinking and do something!' His mind yelled. He stepped up behind the orderly with the bloody nose and fat lip and tapped him on the shoulder. "Get up...let me in there."
The orderly gave Buccannon a worried look but moved away when he nodded. "Good luck, man." He told Robert as they switched places.
Robert leaned into the tub as far as he could, the cold water soaking the front of his shirt and causing gooseflesh to break out all over his body, grabbed Jessie by the shoulders and told the other orderly and Buccannon to let her go. When they did, he pulled her to him. He held her head to his chest with one hand and her body as close to him, as the situation would allow, with the other. She continued to struggle against him, soaking him from head to toe, but he held on tight.
"Stop," His voice was soothing as he spoke. He laid his cheek on top of her head. "Jessie, please stop...you're okay...I'm here...I got you...please stop...shhh...listen to me, okay...please."
She stopped yelling, but still struggled against him, although not as hard as she had been. Then, she stopped completely and wrapped her arms around him.
"Good." He told her. "Thank you. You're okay, Jess...just hold on to me."
"Robert..." It was if she had just realized he was there.
"Yeah...it's okay...I'm here."
"It's so cold...it's so cold, it hurts...it hurts a lot." She started to cry.
"I know, Jess, I'm sorry. You're doing so good...just a little bit longer."
"Okay." Her voice was muffled, as she sobbed against his chest.
He held her tighter and swayed gently from side to side until she stopped crying.
"Let's try her temp again," Buccannon suggested.
Grace nodded while she wiped tears from her eyes and face. Watching Robert with Jessie was heartbreaking and she just wanted to hold them both. She picked up the thermometer and knelt down beside Robert, she smiled. "You did good."
Robert smiled back at her. "Thank you."
Grace put the thermometer in her ear and Jessie looked up at her. She reached out and pushed the hair out of Jessie's face. "You are doing so good, honey." She said smiling at her. The thermometer beeped and Grace looked at the reading. "101.4," She said aloud.
"Okay...good enough...we'll start her on human protein c for the blood poisoning and augmentin for the pnuemonia...with the fever weakened her immune system will get stronger...she'll be able to fight one thing at a time instead of everything at once. Let's get her out of there."
The orderlies pushed the gurney close to the tub. Robert loosened his hold on Jessie.
"I'm gonna take you out now, okay? Hold on to me." Jessie nodded and he lifted her out of the tub, turned and laid her on the gurney. He adjusted her hospital gown, covering as much skin as it would allow and then pulled a blanket over her. She was shivering. He put his hand on her forehead and moved his thumb gently across it. "That's it, kiddo...it's over." He whispered. A ghost of a smile appeared on her face and he smiled back.
She felt the gurney start to move and she reached out and grabbed his forearm. "Stay..." She said weakly.
She was coming down hard from the adrenaline rush of the past twenty minutes and she couldn't keep her eyes open. Robert bent down and kissed her cheek then moved his head to whisper in her ear. "Sleep...I'll be right here."
Tbc...
Alright, after reading it for the hundredth time (slight exaggeration) I'm just gonna say 'the hell with it' and post it. The Brian/Joey conversation just kind of happened...I don't know where it came from...and I'm not sure I like it, but after deleting it, copying it and pasting it over and over again, I figured someone was trying to tell me something...who or what I don't know. So, if you like it...yay me! If you don't...well that's okay...cause as I said, I'm not sure I do either. Thanks for reading!
