She was coughing. A steady, rolling continuous cough and she was aware enough to realize that it was actually helping. She could feel the pressure in her chest shift with each cough, as the congestion in her lungs shook loose. She also realized, that though she felt warm, it was nothing like the heat she felt earlier. 'I'm getting better.' She thought.
"John?" Jessie's voice was weak and it came out like a wheezing, whisper. She opened her eyes and then closed them again, the light around her was brighter than it was the last couple of days. She tried to clear her throat, but it was useless. It was so dry it felt like she had a mouthful of cotton. Opening her eyes again, slower this time, she squinted as her eyes adjusted to the light and tried to focus them. She licked her lips and swallowed, trying to generate some moisture, then tried again. "John?"
Robert was sleeping in a chair, next to Jessie's bed, and except for using the bathroom, he never left it. She had been unconscious since the ice bath and often called Patrick, John, Travis, Carolyn and, even, Bailey in her sleep, so when he heard her call John's name, the first time, he didn't think anything of it. When he heard it the second time, she had sounded different to him, he opened his eyes and turned his head to look at her. Her eyes were open. He jumped up from the chair, slid his hand into hers, and hovered over her. "Jessie..."
Jessie's eyes slowly found his and for a moment she just blinked at him. Robert. She studied the room. A hospital. Her eyes found Robert's again. 'Was it all a dream?' She wondered.
"Jess, are you okay?"
"Robert, am I sick?"
Robert put his hand on her forehead and drew feather-lite circles across her skin with his thumb. "Yeah, baby, you're sick." He smiled. "You're getting better though. You're gonna be okay."
Her eyes wandered around the room again. "I'm in the hospital?"
"Yes." He answered. "You and John were brought here after you were rescued from the warehouse."
"John's here too?" If John was in the hospital too, then it could not have been a dream. She grabbed Robert's shirt and twisted it in her fist. "Where's...where's Dad?" Her eyes were locked on his, wide with panic, and she started to shake. She saw the truth and pain reflected in his eyes and just like that, the events of the last few days played like an old 8mm movie in her head and there was no stopping it.
Robert watched as the realization hit her like a ton of bricks. There was nothing he could do but wait it out. She would let him know what to do next. Then, ignoring anything that she had attached to her, she sat up and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him fiercely. He hugged her back, just as forceful, rubbing her back and rocking her, as the sobs came. She was saying something but it was muffled as she cried into his chest, so he only understood parts of it.
"Racetrack...Sal...scars on his face...Dad...dreaming...blue raspberry...had to go...always with me...waved...couldn't go..."
He pieced together that she had a dream about Patrick and Sal and he cursed silently, wondering if Jessie would ever be able to sleep a dreamless, peaceful sleep. "Shhh...it's okay...shhh."
Jessie pulled away and looked up at him, her eyes were brimming with tears. "He said...he said you'd be here when I woke up...that you'd take care of me." Guilt washed over her face and she looked down. "I didn't mean it...I would never..." She drew in a quivering breath and just blurted it out. "I don't hate you!" She wrapped her arms around him again and buried her face in his chest, as she cried. "I love you, Robert...I don't hate you...I don't hate you."
'Jesus, of all things to remember.' He thought. He never really believed that she meant it, but a wave of relief washed over him anyway and his own tears started to fall. "I know, I know you didn't mean it. Jess, it's okay...please don't think about it anymore...it's okay...I love you too, Jessie...shhh...everything's going to be alright." She quieted after several minutes and her calm, steady breathing made him think that she had cried herself to sleep, so he started to pull away, thinking he would lay her down, but her grip on him tightened.
"I'm not asleep." She said, then moved her hand to her mouth and coughed for several minutes.
"You okay?" He asked when she stopped coughing. "Want some water?"
She shook her head. "Where's John? Is he okay?"
"He's in a private room...he's fine...a little worse for wear, but he's okay. He had surgery on his thigh two days ago-"
"Surgery?"
He heard a hint of fear in her voice. "He's fine, Jessie, I wouldn't tell you he was, if he really wasn't...you know that, right?" She nodded and he ran his fingers through the back of her hair, twisting them through the curls that lay on her shoulders. "You did a great job keeping that wound clean, Jessie...he might've lost his leg if the infection got to the bone. The surgery was just to remove some dead tissue and repair the damage that was done. He'll be up and running in no time."
"I want to see him."
"You can't right now, Jess. You'll be here, in ICU, until your immune system gets stronger. You're both too sick, for you to be around him."
"You've seen him, though, right? You're sure he's okay?"
"No, I haven't seen him, I've been here with you, but Grace has been keeping me updated. She'll be by later, so you can ask her about John yourself."
"When can I get out of here?"
He was surprised she hadn't asked that question first. The year Patrick spent in the hospital burn unit, after the accident, had totally turned Jessie off hospitals and doctors. He also knew that they were going to have a hard time keeping her there if she thought she felt good enough to leave. "You missed the doctor today, he'll be back tomorrow morning, we could talk about it then." He pulled away from her and cupped her face in his hands. "Jessie, you have blood poisoning and double pnuemonia...you've been through so much mentally and physically...you can't rush to get out of here, okay? I know you hate it here, but you need to be here until you get your strength back or your relapse...so it's either a couple weeks here, now, or going in and out of the hospital and having to deal with doctors for months. Please, let them take care of you...I promise I'll be right here with you." Jessie nodded in his hands and he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "Thank you." He hugged her again.
"Robert?" Jessie broke up the hug, this time. She looked up at him her eyes bright with tears, but her face was expressionless.
"Yeah, kiddo..."
"What do we do...now that Dad's gone, what do we do?"
His heart sank at the grief and the lost look, that shimmered in her tear-filled eyes. He put his hands on her shoulders and leaned in close to her so that their foreheads were almost touching. "We do what Patrick would have wanted us...what he expects us to do...we take care of each other."
She nodded slowly. "Take care of each other..." She repeated, quietly."Yeah, he..he would want that."
He eased her down on to her pillows, he knew she had had enough for one day, and she turned on to her side, curling up around the blankets. "Close your eyes, Jess, you need to get some rest." He pulled his chair closer to the bed, sat down, and reached over to run his fingers through her hair. "That's it...I'll be right here. Everything's gonna be okay."
John didn't remember much about the last two days except that the anesthesia, from the surgery, had made him sick and he was in a lot of pain. The pain medication worked really well but it made him sleepy, so he spent most of the last forty-eight hours sleeping. He moved his leg and tried to gauge the pain it caused. Hopefully, the pain would be tolerable today and he wouldn't need pain medication, so he could stay awake for more than an hour. It hurt, and he groaned at the uncomfortableness of it, but it wasn't too bad. He opened his eyes and saw Sam sitting in a chair by the window reading a magazine.
"Hey.." He said groggily.
"Hey, stranger." She walked over to the bed, leaned over, and kissed his cheek. "You've been pretty out of it...how do you feel?"
"Remember that truck that hit me?" He grinned. "Well, I think his cousin 'the monster truck' took a run at me."
Sam smiled, at least he still had his sense of humor. "Can I get you something?"
"My stomach's a little queasy...maybe some ginger-ale or seven-up and uh...can you help me get up? I uh...need to use the bathroom."
"Sure, not a problem." She put the side rail down and helped him sit up so he could slide gently off the bed. He stood for a moment, making sure his legs were going to cooperate and then, took a small step forward. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah," John said as he took another unsteady step.
She walked with him to the bathroom door and waited as he stepped inside and closed the door. "I'll go to the nurse's station and get you a ginger-ale. Do you want anything else?" She asked him through the door.
"No., Thanks, Sam."
Sam went to the nurse's station and hurried back so she could help him back into bed. After she got him settled, she opened up the can of ginger-ale, stuck a straw in it and gave it to him. "If you feel up to it in a little while, I'll get you some soup, okay?"
He nodded. "Thanks. Where is everyone?"
"Bailey and Nathan are with Boston P.D. filing reports, George is back at the penthouse copying all the computer info about the case we had for everyone's files and Grace left, just before you woke up...she's probably checking on Jessie."
"How is she?"
"She's okay...holdin' her own, like you. Grace said she's responding well to all her medications, better than they had expected. She woke up earlier today, so she's definitely headed in the right direction."
"I wish I could see her."
"I know you do, honey...hey, as good as the two of you are doing, it won't be much longer. How 'bout calling her? She's still in ICU, but she has a phone."
John perked up. "Yeah, okay."
Sam gave John the phone and he set the base down in his lap and picked up the receiver. "Dial zero. Her room number is 122."
John dialed the operator, listened as she connected him and waited for someone to answer the ringing phone.
"Hello?"
"Robert...hey, it's John."
"John! How are you? Grace told me you had some trouble after the surgery."
"Yeah, anesthesia is a bitch...and the skin graphs hurt like hell..."
"I hear ya, I remember when Patrick-" Robert stopped, he didn't want to talk about Patrick, the wounds were still fresh and he thought he would upset John. "Uh...yeah I could imagine."
John wasn't sure if Robert had stopped talking about Patrick because it would upset him or it was upsetting Jessie, so he let it go. "I feel a lot better...my stomach's still a little queasy but the pain has eased up, it's tolerable. How's Jessie?"
"She's doing good...the stuff they're treating her with is working really well. I'm breathing a bit easier since she woke up...she had me worried. She said she had a dream about Patrick and Sal saying goodbye...now that all the craziness is over, she has to face everything...it's going to be tough ...for all of us."
"I'd like to talk to her. Is she awake now?"
"She's asleep, but uh...hold on I'll wake her."
"No, no don't, let her sleep. She needs it."
"She needs to talk to you...she's worried about you...she needs to hear for herself that you're okay. It'll be okay. You probably need this too."
John smiled. Robert had hit the nail on the head. "Yeah, yeah I do. Okay, but if she gives you a hard time, leave her be...let her sleep." He listened as Robert woke Jessie and told her that John was on the phone. He smiled and felt the tension slip from his body when he heard her voice.
"John?"
"Hey..."
"Robert said you had surgery, are you okay?"
"I'm fine, it went well...I told them I wanted a bionic leg, but we'll have to wait and see..." It was good to hear her laugh. "How are you doing?"
"I'm okay...just tired."
"You sure?"
"I...I had...I didn't remember at first...everything that happened...I wish I didn't have to remember."
John closed his eyes, he wished that too. "I know, it will be alright...we'll get through it." He heard her sniff and Robert talking to her. "Jessie, hey, talk to me. Are you alright?"
She sniffed a couple times and let out a quivering breath. "I'm okay. Sorry."
"Sorry? Jessie, there's nothing for you to be sorry for..."
"I know...I'm tired, I guess. I miss...I just miss you being with me...I know you need to get better too...I don't like it here...I just miss you, that's all."
"I miss you too. Hang in there a little bit longer, okay. Talk to Robert...he loves you. I love you. Everything will be okay...we just need some time."
"Okay...I love you too, John."
"I'll call you again later, okay. Get some rest...even if you don't sleep. Try not to think so much...and don't worry about me, I'm fine. We're both going to be fine."
"Okay." She said weakly and sniffed.
"I'll call you in a few hours. Let me talk to Robert."
"Hey..."
"Is she okay? She's crying..."
"A little, but she's okay."
"Waking her probably wasn't a good idea..."
"Maybe, but she needed it...needed to hear your voice."
"I told her to rest and that I'd call her later."
"Okay, sounds good. I'll make sure she gets some sleep."
"Have her call if she needs to...give her a hug for me...take care of her, Robert."
"Always. I'll talk to you later..."
"Okay." John hung up the phone and handed it to Sam. "This sucks."
"Is she okay?"
"No, but she will be. Jesus, Sam, she's lost her Mother...a little brother...her father...a guy who was like a father to her...and it's not like they were sick or something, ya know...they were taken away...in front of her...she's twenty-one...Christ, if it were me, I'd be in the corner of a padded room somewhere, drooling...I just want her to be okay." He rambled, frustrated.
"She will be." Sam put her hand on his chest and drew circles with her fingers, calming him. "She's been around people who loved her, her entire life...she's strong..." She reached up and ruffled his hair. "Like her older brother. It's not going to be easy and it will take some time, but she'll be okay."
He put his hand over Sam's and squeezed gently. "Thank you." He pulled her hand to his lips and kissed the top of it. "I don't know what I'd do without you."
Sam smiled, blushing slightly. "You're welcome. How 'bout that soup? You feel up to it?"
"Yeah, I'll try some, I'm kind of hungry."
"I'll get some saltines too." Sam smiled at him again and left.
After she finished talking to John, Jessie turned on to her side and curled up around the blankets, again. She listened to Robert as he talked to John and looked up at him when he hung up the phone.
"He sounds okay," Jessie told him.
"He's gonna be fine, Jessie. Try to get some sleep, okay?"
"I don't want to sleep. I'm not tired."
"You're beyond tired, Jessie...you're exhausted. You need to rest when your body is telling you to, especially if you want to get better and get out of here."
"I'll be okay."
"It's the dreams, right? The nightmares?" When she looked away instead of answering, he knew he had guessed right "Jessie, listen-"
"I don't want to dream...not about anything or anyone...waking up...it's too hard." She said quietly, still avoiding his gaze.
Robert thought for a minute, then said to hell with it. It may not be acceptable in the ICU or any other room in the hospital, but it didn't matter. Only Jessie mattered. "Move over." He told her, as he slipped off his shoes.
Jessie didn't think she heard him right. "Huh? What? Robert..."
"Don't worry, just move over."
She moved over in the bed, leaving him as much room as possible and he laid down next to her. He propped up on his elbow and rested his head in his hand. "C'mere." He urged her closer and she curled up next to him. Her forehead rested against his chest and he put his other hand on her head and ran his fingers through her hair.
"Robert, I don't think-"
"Shhh...it's alright." He stopped touching her hair long enough to tuck the blanket in around her, then continued. "Ya know, when you were four you got the chicken pox...your Mom went to a convention in Atlantic City for the weekend...your Dad insisted she go...he said between him and Sal, they would have no trouble taking care of you. Boy, were they wrong. By Saturday night, they were ready to call your Mom and throw in the towel. You never really felt good and the medicine made you sick...you were miserable and cranky...you wouldn't go to sleep and was just tired of the two of them. They were frustrated and practically standing on their heads to make you happy, but nothing worked, frustrating them even more. I came by to drop off some paperwork for your Dad...I couldn't help but laugh when I saw them...all disheveled...dark circles under their eyes...it was too funny. Anyway, Patrick went to put the stuff I brought him to his office and while he was gone, you crawled up into my lap, put your head on my shoulder, closed your eyes and went to sleep. Sal couldn't believe it...they had been going crazy, trying for hours to get you to go to sleep... and I come in, sit down and you're asleep in minutes. Patrick had to do a double-take when he came out of his office if he could have been sure that you wouldn't have woken up, he probably would have yelled in frustration, instead, he just smiled and shook his head. 'I guess she needed you today, Bobby. She had enough of me and Sal.' He looked over at Sal. 'Looks like Bobby's her white knight tonight...what do you say we go get a drink to settle our nerves.' They left, came back a few hours later and you were still sleeping. I stayed over that night. I just laid down on the couch with you curled up on me and we slept until late the next morning." Robert smiled, as he remembered. He looked down at Jessie and she was asleep. He kissed her forehead. "I'll be right here." He whispered.
Tbc...
