Shortly after they entered her room Dr. Buccannon came in to give Jessie her discharge papers, home-care instructions, and an appointment for a follow-up visit for the next week. Jessie thanked him, he said goodbye to everyone, then left.

"You guys want to go to Ray's for breakfast before we head home?" Robert asked everyone as they headed down the hall to the elevators. He had noticed the tension between Joey and Jessie and he thought to go to breakfast might help.

John yawned a "yes".

"Sure." Jessie agreed.

"I have a lot to do today, I should get started." Joey looked over at Jessie, then down at the floor.

"C'mon, you have time for breakfast. You're gonna make me feel like a slave-driver if you don't go. C'mon, you're going." Brian told him.

Joey looked at Jessie again, searching for what she wanted him to do. She shrugged and he answered hesitantly. "Yeah, okay."

They entered the parking deck and Brian pulled Jessie by the hand towards his car.

"C'mon, you're riding with me." He told her, then to the other three. "We'll meet you guys there."

"So what's up with you and Joey?" Brian asked as he pulled on to the highway. Jessie looked at him like she didn't know what he was talking about. "Don't give me that look. I know you too well. Joey looks like someone stole his puppy and you look like that time we all went fishing on your Grandpa Rick's boat and Sal ate your mini box of Froot Loops."

"He left me with the Rice Crispies, I wanted to push him overboard for that. He got his punishment though when he got sea-sick and wound up with used Froot Loops all over his shoes." Jessie laughed, getting lost in the memory.

"Do I have to kick his ass?" Brian asked after several moments of silence.

"Huh? Who?"

"Joey. Do I have to kick his ass?"

Jessie smiled at him. "No. It's okay. It's not him, it's me. We'll work it out."

"He loves you a lot," Brian stated matter-of-factly.

"I know. I love him too. I don't what I'd do without him...without any of you."

Brian grinned, pulling her into a one-armed hug as he drove. "The feeling's mutual, kid, we wouldn't know what to do without you either."


Ray Cromwell, owner, and operator of Ray's, almost tripped over two chairs and a little boy, when he saw Jessie walk in because he couldn't get to her fast enough. When he finally reached her, he wrapped his arms around her and started to cry.

"God, you're okay. Thank God, you're okay. I'm so sorry about Patrick. He was a good Dad, he loved you very much. I'm so sorry. And Sal, I'm so sorry about Sal too. He was a good man. I know you loved him a lot." He said over and over again as he hugged her.

"Thank you. I know. Thank you." Jessie told him. When she felt tears start to well-up and then slide down her cheeks, she pulled herself from his hug and wiped at them impatiently.

"Jesus, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"You didn't, Ray, it's okay." She told him and smiled, to prove it.

"We're starved." Robert blurted out. He wanted to take Ray's attention away from Jessie. He knew Ray meant well, but whether she wanted to admit it or not, he was upsetting her. "Can you set us up with a table? What's good for breakfast this morning?"

"Oh, sure, sure, your usual table is empty, go sit down and I'll bring some juice and coffee. The pancakes are to die for, Jenny really outdid herself, she wiped up some blueberry and banana pancakes today." He rubbed his round stomach. "I've probably had ten already. Go ahead, sit and we'll set you guys up with a little bit of everything. Okay?"

"Sounds good. Thanks, Ray." Robert said and ushered everyone towards their table in the back of the room.

True to his word Ray brought them plates full of pancakes, eggs, sausage, and bacon, making their table look like a Shoney's breakfast buffet.

"I'm getting full just looking at it." Jessie put a couple of pancakes on her plate and drowned it in syrup.

"Oh my God, the banana pancakes are awesome," Brian said through a mouthful of them, then he added three more to the three he had on his plate.

"So what'd you guys do to make you look like an extra in a zombie movie?" Jessie asked John and Robert.

"Stayed up too late...drank too much...talked too much," Robert answered. "You know, the stuff an old man like me shouldn't do after 10:00 pm."

John laughed. "I don't think age has anything to do with it, Robert, I didn't handle it well either."

"You talked about Dad, huh?" Not only could she tell they hadn't gotten much sleep, but they had the tell-tale puffy eyes of someone who had been crying too.

"Yeah. We were swapping stories...trampling down memory lane." Robert said pouring his third cup of coffee.

"You told stories about Dad?" Jessie asked John. She wondered if they were good or bad.

"Yeah, I told him about my sixth birthday, when Patrick gave me a Big Wheel."

"Really? Dad got me one when I was six...Travis too. He said he had one when he was little, it was his favorite. I swear, if he could've gotten on it he would have. He loved-" She stopped, realizing how much she hated talking about Patrick in the past tense. "He...uh...would watch us ride it for hours." She almost whispered.

John nodded. "Hey," He decided to change the subject. "Bailey and Sam are coming tonight, their flight comes in at seven."

"They're coming for Dad's service?"

'Well, maybe this isn't such a great subject to talk about either.' John said to himself, then answered her. "Yes."

Jessie nodded. "That's good. Dad really liked them, especially Sam, he said she reminded him, a little, of my mother."

Robert agreed. "She does...around the eyes and her smile."

Everyone had gone quiet at the table for a moment, concentrating on the food on their plates. Jessie was just playing with hers, mixing it together, pushing it from one side of her plate to the other. She was about to get up from the table, when a hand came down on her shoulder, causing her to jump a little.

"Hey, you're okay. When did you get outta the hospital?"

Jessie recognized the voice immediately and winced, knowing that Joey was not too happy about who was standing behind her. She turned halfway around and smiled. "Hey, Jimmy. Yeah, I'm okay. I was discharged today."

"That's great. We missed you around here." He knew everyone at the table but John, so he reached over Jessie with his hand extended to him. "Jim Callahan, but Jimmy C. to my friends. I went to high school with Jessie."

John shook his hand, totally aware of the looks Jimmy was getting from the others at the table. "John Grant. I'm Jessie's brother."

"I didn't know you had an older brother, Jessie. Nice to meet you, man." He looked back at Jessie. "Well, I don't want to keep you from breakfast. I just wanted to say, it's good to see you and I was sorry to hear about your Dad and Sal...and if there's anything I could do or anything you need, you know where to find me."

Joey answered before she could. He knew he should've just sat there and kept quiet, but he couldn't help it. All he could think about was the Provigil Jessie had taken and what it was like for them the last two days. He turned halfway around and glared at Jimmy.

"She doesn't need anything from you," Joey told him matter-of-factly. "Get lost."

Brian nearly choked on the bacon he was chewing. John and Robert just stared at him dumbfounded, and Jessie was shooting daggers at him with her eyes, but it didn't stop him from glaring at Jimmy or repeating himself.

"You heard me, right? Get lost, Jimmy."

"Okay, dude, chill. Sorry for interrupting your breakfast. Jessie, take care of yourself. It was good to see you." Jimmy backed away from the table, turned and left.

"What was that all about?" Brian asked after recovering from his near choking.

"You-" Jessie started to say, then closed her eyes and starting counting to calm herself. She wanted to go off on him, but there were two things stopping her. One, they were in a public place. And two, she couldn't really get into it with him because there would be no way of arguing without the Provigil coming out. She knew it was what he was thinking about and that he was still upset over the argument they had this morning. So, she counted, closing her eyes and praying for the strength to keep her from losing it on him. She opened her eyes, but all she could see was red when she looked at him.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" She shook her head and got up from the table. "I can't believe you just did that...I'm gonna go say goodbye to Ray."

"I'd hate to be you, later on, buddy." Brian shook his head.

Joey wanted to get up and leave, he had made things worse and there was no way Jessie was going to talk to him anytime soon, but he couldn't. He couldn't just leave like that. "It's nothing. We just had a bad morning, that's all." He said quietly. "We'll talk it out later."

No one wanted to push the issue, so they let it go. Besides it being none of their business, they knew Jessie or Joey kept their relationship theirs and wouldn't want them to interfere.

Joey turned so he could watch Jessie, wanting to make sure she was okay and he didn't upset her too much. She was talking to Ray and every once in a while she would wipe at her eyes when she listened to Ray talk. 'Great, just great.' He thought. 'Way to make things worse instead of better.' He started to ask one of them to go rescue her when he saw Jim Callahan approach her. 'Son of a bitch. I'll kill him.' Joey watched them intently. He saw Jessie nod towards the table and he knew she was apologizing for what he had said. 'I meant it, don't apologize for me.' They talked for several more minutes and when he leaned over and hugged her, Joey stood up so fast he almost dumped his plate in his lap.

Brian was watching him, watch Jessie, the entire time. He put his hand on Joey's forearm. "Relax, it's nothing. Look, he's leaving, Joe. C'mon sit back down."

"You'll just make it worse if you go over there," Robert added.

Joey nodded and sat down. "Someone should go over, Ray can be overwhelming under normal circumstances."

"I'll go," John said getting up. "I need to move around a little, everything I ate is just sitting in my stomach like a cement block. I feel like I should be telling you when the baby's due." He patted his full belly.

"Tell her we're ready to go when she is," Robert told him. "And send Ray over here, I want to talk to him about making some cold cut platters and some other stuff for after the service tomorrow."


Jessie knew it was John standing behind her from the expression on Ray's face. He was grinning from ear to ear, despite the tears that stood in his eyes, like a proud uncle.

"Ray, this is my brother..."

"John. John Grant isn't it?" Ray finished for her excitedly.

John nodded, smiling. "Yeah."

Ray walked around Jessie and enveloped John in a hug, catching him off guard and making Jessie laugh.

Ray pulled away, still grinning. "I'm sorry 'bout that. I get a little excited sometimes, but from as much as Patrick use to talk to about you I feel like I know you."

"No problem. Thank you for breakfast, it was delicious."

"Oh, it was my pleasure, my pleasure, believe me. I knew your father well. We went back a long way. He helped me open this place up." He reached up, with a meaty hand, and patted John on the back. "You look just like him, ya know, just like him."

John nodded. "So, I've been told." He smiled, then looked over towards their table. "Uh, Robert needs to speak to you...I uh...think he needs your help with something."

"Bobby? Oh sure, sure." Ray started to walk away, then stopped suddenly. "If you need anything, help yourself. Jessie knows her way around this place, so just help yourself." He gave them a big lopsided grin, then walked away.

"He's a big guy...enthusiastic...I felt like I was in a vice when he was hugging me." John said as he sat down on the stool next to Jessie.

"Yeah. Ray's like a big, friendly Grizzly bear. When I was little, I use to think he was a giant." Jessie laughed. "He use to put me and T.J. on each one of his shoulders and we would wave like we were on a parade float." She got quiet for a moment, watching the bubbles of the lava lamp that sat on the other side of the counter. "Dad liked Ray a lot." She said quietly.

John reached over, buried his hand in the back of her hair and rubbed the back of her head slowly. "You okay?"

Jessie closed her eyes and nodded slowly. "Why does everything have to be so hard?"

"It's only hard if you don't let the people you love help you through it."

"It just hurts so much..."

"I know. You and Joey...everything okay?"

Jessie glanced over at the table where the others were sitting and watched Joey, who she could tell was trying hard not to look over at her, then looked back at John. "Yeah. It's my fault...I guess I haven't been myself the last couple days, with me anxious to get home and all, and I've been kind of a jerk to him, while he's been nothing but good to me. We'll talk later after we've both had some time to cool off and think about what we want to say. We'll be fine." John nodded and she gave him a half smile. Looking back at the lava lamp, she took a deep breath. "Tomorrow...I...tomorrow I don't think..." She shook her head, frustrated that she couldn't get out what she wanted to say.

John shifted his stool closer, put his arm around her, and rested his chin on her shoulder. "It's okay." He told her. "Do you not want to go through with tomorrow? We could do it another time, Jess. Give yourself some time to get a little stronger and adjust..."

"No, that's not it...tomorrow...I don't think...I..." She looked at him, her eyes bright with tears. "I won't be able to say anything..." She blurted out. "For him...I can't do it, John...I just...I can't do it."

John pulled her head to his chest and she wrapped her arms around him, so he did the same, holding her tight. He rested his head on top of hers.

"Don't worry about that, okay?" He whispered. "Patrick knew how much you loved him and that's all that matters. You don' have to say anything, trust me Jess, no one in their right mind can question how much you loved Patrick or how much he loved you." John kissed the top of her head. "Tomorrow's going to be hard enough, so get whatever guilt you have over this out of your head, okay? For me."

"Are you going to say anything?" She asked, still holding him tightly.

"I've been thinking about it...these last few weeks have been crazy...I mean with us being thrown together...for the reasons we were...I'm still torn, ya know, between the Father I knew and the one you knew. I wish I could have had more time with him...but I don't think I should. I mean, for years its been no secret that his oldest son hated him...that his son, his cop son, would have taken him down in a heartbeat if he had gotten the chance..."

John had gone quiet and Jessie pulled away from him, gently, and looked up at him. There were tears standing in his eyes, making his ocean colored eyes incredibly bright and lost at the same time. She touched his cheek and he looked down at her, the tears spilling from his eyes as he did.

"It's okay." She told him. "You had every right to feel that way John, every right, you hear me? I loved Dad more than anything...but the way he treated you and your Mother, it was inexcusable...back then...he was a monster." At the word monster, she had a flashback of the dream she had had in the hospital when Patrick as forced her to hold a shotgun and shoot Sal. She shivered inwardly and leaned back into John, hugging him tightly.

John hugged her back. "I'm just happy I got to know...I got to see, that he loved me...and I realized that no matter what I thought or did, I never stopped loving him. He was my father and I was his son and I wouldn't want it any other way."

"Hey, everything okay?" Robert asked tentatively from behind them.

"We're fine," John answered for the both of them. He pulled away from Jessie and looked down at her, smiling, as he brushed tears from his cheeks, then hers. "Right?"

Jessie smiled back at him. "Right." She turned her head towards Robert, still smiling. "I'm okay." She told him. "We're okay."

Robert nodded and grinned. It amazed him how close the two of them became in such a short period of time, it was almost as if they were together their entire lives and he couldn't have been happier about it. "Okay then. How about we go home? We have a lot to deal with the next few days."

Jessie hesitated a moment. The thought of going home suddenly made her uneasy, but she shook it off quickly and it went unnoticed by Robert and John.

"Yeah, okay." She said, doing her best to keep her voice steady.


Tbc...