Robert, Bailey, Sam, and John all looked towards the stairs, at the same time, when they heard Jessie and Joey coming down. They were laughing. Sam squeezed John's hand.
"She sounds okay," Sam whispered to him.
All Robert could think of when he saw them was 'thank God for Joey". Jessie was still pale, but she looked much better. He smiled when she sat down next to him and put her empty cheesecake plate on the coffee table.
"What's so funny?" He put his arm around her and pulled her towards him so she was leaning on him with her head on his shoulder.
Joey answered before she could. "She just inhaled that piece of cheesecake."
"I was going to bring it down and put it in the fridge, but once I had it in my hand it looked too good," Jessie told them.
"Did you even chew it?" Joey asked laughing as he sat on the arm of the couch next to her.
Jessie shook her head. "Not really. I didn't have to because it was kinda soft from sitting out."
Robert laughed. He kissed the side of her head. "I guess you're feeling better."
"Yeah. My headache finally went away." She looked up at him. "I'm sorry about din-"
Robert interrupted her before she could finish. "Hey, I said over and done, there's nothing more to say, okay?" He kissed the side of her head again.
Jessie nodded. She looked over at John. He looked miserable and she recognized the pained look in his eyes from when they were in the bunker and his thigh was hurting. "You okay John? Can I get you something?" She pulled away from Robert and sat up. Looking John over closely, she said. "Your thigh hurts."
"A little," John told her. "Not too much."
Jessie didn't believe him and stood up, picking up the empty plate. "I need to take my antibiotics. Are they in the kitchen?" She asked Robert.
"Yeah, I put them in there so you remember to eat something before you take them. You didn't eat much at dinner, you should probably eat a little more before you take them. Dr. Buccannon said they may upset your stomach."
"I forgot about that. Perfect, just what I need."
"I would just have some cereal or something. Nothing heavy like what we had for dinner."
Jessie's eyes lit up. "Cereal. Yeah, I'm all over that."
Robert laughed. "I thought you would be." He looked over at John. "Patrick called her a cereal killer because she could go through a box of cereal in a day."
"And who did I get my cereal habit from?" She asked smiling and winked at Robert.
"Guilty as charged, but you are definitely worse than I am."
John was watching the back and forth between Robert and Jessie. It was hard to believe that a couple of hours ago things were really getting ugly between them and now it was like it never happened. Jessie was completely different from when he had brought her the cheesecake earlier, and he couldn't help wondering if it was for real or a show. He looked over at Joey, who was watching her closely and saw something in his eyes. Joey looked distracted, almost anxious.
"Everything okay, Joey?" John asked him, as Jessie disappeared into the kitchen.
"Huh?" Joey asked, shook up a bit that the conversation had turned to him.
"Is everything okay?" John asked again.
"Yeah, sorry, I'm just thinking. I'm worried about tomorrow." He wasn't sure what to say, so that's what came out. He was really worried about how he was going to approach Jessie about what he had found on the floor, but he couldn't tell them that.
"Did Jessie say something that's got you worried?" Robert asked joining the conversation.
"No. She hasn't mentioned tomorrow at all, which is why I guess I'm a little worried."
"Did she tell you about her dream?"
"Yes." Joey could see the guilt in John's face and he smiled to reassure him. "She's okay about that John, really. To tell you the truth, when she told me, I was more upset about it than she was. For her, I think it was more her feeling guilty about what she said about Sal. She was punishing herself for it, ya know? That's where the dream came from."
"Are her dreams always associated with feelings of guilt?" Sam asked them.
Robert shook his head. "Up until now she only had dreams about Travis...about the car accident but that wasn't her fault. How could she feel guilty?"
"It could be that she survived the accident...that she didn't get him out of the car before it caught fire." Sam offered.
"I don't know...I mean, Pat never said anything...not even after they were on lockdown in Jersey after her overdose."
"Maybe she buried it like she's trying to bury everything else."
"And maybe it needs to be drawn out, the way you drew it out of her earlier John. You really did help her." Bailey told him matter-of-factly.
"Helped who with what?" Jessie asked, surprising them by entering the room from the hall instead of the kitchen. She knew as soon as she left they would question Joey about their time upstairs, so she gave them some time. She ate a bowl of cereal, then left the kitchen, from the side door, and went to John's room to get his medication.
"John helped you with Sal," Robert answered, wanting to see if she was really okay about it.
Jessie sat down on the other side of John. "He did." She nudged him with her elbow playfully. "But he doesn't believe me." She looked at John and smiled. "In the dream, Sal told me a piece of paper had more color than I did...I gotta tell ya, big brother, you're only a shade or two of paleness away from us being twins." She took his hand and put his medication in it. "Take them...please."
"Jessie.."
"Look, I need you to stop worrying that you did some horrible thing to me, okay, because you didn't. I promise I'm alright and that you helped me. I'll prove it by telling you about it, but you have to promise that once I do, it will be the end of it. No more feeling guilty, got it?"
John couldn't help but smile. The change in her attitude was welcoming and playful and he was loving every minute of it. He nodded in agreement. "Got it."
Jessie wasn't thrilled about telling John her dream in front of Bailey and Sam, but for him, she would. She just hoped she could keep it together as she told them. It was easy with Joey because she wasn't looking at him. She took a deep breath and began, hoping for the best.
"Tell me how that was helpful," John said miserably when she was finished. Like Joey, he didn't like the end very much.
"Don't you see...as pissed off as I am at him about what he did and as much as I want to blame him for what happened...I couldn't do it. I couldn't watch them hurt him...I didn't want them to hurt him and I certainly couldn't hurt him myself. You made me see that." She put her hand on his shoulder. "Everything I said was just me being angry that Dad's gone. It was bullshit, John. I loved Sal. A part of me will always love him...and maybe hate him too, but that's just me missing Dad."
"Well then, you're welcome," John said sarcastically.
Jessie smiled. "John it's okay." She patted her chest. "I'm okay, it wasn't real. Isn't that what you told me, when I told you about the dream I had in the bunker about Roy Langston...and the dream where Dad made me shoot Sal...you said they were just dreams, nothing about them was real. This one is just like those. So you have to let it go, okay? You promised."
"Just because I promised doesn't mean I have to like it."
"Fair enough." She watched as he played with the tablets in his hand and handed him his glass of water. "Take them...please."
"Jess..."
"Tomorrow's going to be bad enough...I don't want to have to pile on feeling bad about you feeling guilty over nothing. John, please let this go." She put her hand on his arm. "Please, for me."
"Okay." John leaned over and kissed her cheek. "For you." He told her. He took the glass of water from her and washed his pills down with it.
"Now I know how to get him to do stuff at work." Bailey teased, smiling at them.
John pinched Jessie's cheek. "Nope, it only works for this face...and Grace." He leaned over and kissed the top of her head. "I know telling me about your dream wasn't easy, thank you."
Jessie nodded and smiled. "Whatever you need, John."
"Well, I should probably go to bed before my medication kicks in and you have to carry me in there."
"Wait, John, I wanted to talk about tomorrow a little before we go to bed." He was looking at Jessie as he spoke, trying to read her reaction, but she gave him nothing. "First, I was thinking we should take the Explorer and the BMW. Including Brian, there's going to be seven of us and they have the most leg room. I figure the fewer vehicles we take, the better. Okay, Jess?"
"Sure." She answered quietly. "The keys should be in Dad's desk."
"I'm gonna go to my place in the morning to pick up some more clothes so I'll shower there. I'll bring Celtics shirts for Bailey and John and breakfast. Bagels and Donuts good for everyone?" They all agreed, so he continued. "Jess, Father Danny wants to set up a memory table so he's asking that we bring some family pictures and whatever else we might want to put on it. I was thinking your Dad's basketball from high school and his fishing hat and pole..."
"Besides his family, the two things he loved most." Joey smiled. "Great idea Robert."
He liked that Joey loved his idea, but Robert was more concerned about how Jessie felt. Her mood had visibly changed as soon as the conversation changed to the memorial service.
"What do you think, Jess? Is that okay or would you rather not do the table at all? I don't want tomorrow to be too overwhelming..."
Jessie wasn't sure if it was the antibiotic she had taken or the conversation, but she was suddenly nauseous and she had broken out into a cold sweat. She was trying desperately to ignore it. To will it away. "No, it's fine. I'll get some pictures together."
"Alright then, I'll check that off the list. Ray and Mike Quinn called me earlier, they would both like to say a little something tomorrow and I think Brian plans on speaking also..." Knowing Sam and Bailey didn't know Patrick well enough, he turned to look at Joey and then looked over at John and Jessie, have you guys decided on whether or not you want to say something?"
"Pat was the best. I couldn't have asked for a better man to work for...and I would love nothing more than to get up there and thank him for everything he has done for me but I can't..." Joey looked over at Jessie, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "Because the one thing I'm most grateful for, he knew nothing about...I wish I could have told him how much I love you...he might have hated the idea of us...but saying it out loud tomorrow, now that it's too late, it would be cowardly...so I can't, I won't."
Robert reached over and put his hand on Joey's thigh. "Hey, if Patrick could have seen what I've seen, this past week...he would have had no doubt how good you are for her...he would have seen how you felt about her, how you make her happy and he would have given you his blessing. He would have been a fool not too."
Joey half smiled. "Thanks, Robert, hearing you say that...it means a lot."
Jessie wanted to go to him, but she was afraid that if she moved it would make her sick. "I love you." She told him.
John shook his head. "I don't think I should. I mean, up until a few weeks ago, we had no relationship and I would have gladly put him away given the opportunity. I don't want to rock any boats."
"I understand, John, but if you change your mind, you go ahead and speak your mind. Don't let anyone stop you." Robert told him, then. "Jessie?"
Jessie started to say something but the rising and falling of her stomach contents changed her mind, so she just shook her head.
"Okay. Including Father Danny, who I know will want to talk about the good old days, that's five. I'll have Ray go first because afterward he and Jenny are going to come back here and set up the food for us. From what I hear Ray's making enough food to feed an army."
"Is everyone coming back here?" Joey asked him. He didn't want Jessie to have to deal with people all day.
"I don't think so and they won't stay long either. Brian will have everyone out by four o'clock. Okay, we covered-"
"Jessie, are you alright?" Sam asked, interrupting Robert
They looked at her. Jessie's face was sheet white and beaded with sweat. The hair around her face was damp and she had a pained looked on her face. Her eyes were closed and she kept swallowing, hard, like she was trying to keep something down.
"Jess, what's wrong?" John put his arm around her and with his other hand pushed the damp curls from her forehead.
She wasn't going to be able to keep her stomach contents down and she was tired of trying, but she was not going to let it out here if she could help it. Jessie slid away from John's arm and stood up slowly, making sure she could do it without throwing up.
"Jessie..." Joey stood up also, wanting to go to her, but she waved him off.
"I'm-" Jessie started, but then realized talking prevented her from keeping everything down. She shook her head, swallowed, and took a deep breath. "Need to go." She said quickly, then turned and walked as fast as her condition would allow her, down the hall to the bathroom.
John and Joey both started after her, but Robert stopped them.
"I'll go." He told them. "It will be okay. Wait here, please." Robert smiled, to reassure them, then went to see about Jessie.
Tbc...
