Chapter 3: Scary Tales
Cartman's house, 00:30 a.m…
Uff, we now found ourselves watching the last minutes of the movie before it ends, not without leaving a chilling ending for the sake of their viewers.
(Author's note: Seriously, it's a good finale to a great film. Definitely recommended. Go now & watch "Us"! Then return here and continue reading.)
Kyle and company are dumbfounded about what they had just seen.
"Oh my God, you guys…" Cartman exclaimed impressed
"Wow, that was really messed up…" Stan exclaimed surprised as well
"Messed up? Dude, that was f*cked up. How the hell did they never notice the exchange?" Kenny asked, really intrigued.
"Well Kinny, how do you think they would? The two replicas were so equal that they looked like one person…" Stan emphasized with the characters of the movie.
"Yeah. And don't forget about the "holding hands" thing…" Cartman reminded them
"Of course! You know what dudes? Let's make a truce: Let's never, ever hold hands together. And I mean ever!" Kenny jokingly said
"Hehe... Yeah. Let's not make it seem like we want to invade the world or something!" Stan added, following his joke.
"Pfff, I can invade the world easily without doing that sh*t. It sounds really stupid..." Cartman said proudly.
It really seemed that the reception of the movie was really well received for the boys and they really enjoyed the full cut. Oh well, almost all of them.
"Uuuuyyyy… Is it over yet?" Said a scared Butters, who decided to hide behind the sofa, with his face covering his ears as he closed his eyes tightly for pretty much the whole length of the film. He has always been scared of these types of films, let alone their parents' groundings.
"Butters, what the f*ck are you doing?" Asked Cartman angrily at him.
"Is it over yet or not!" Butters asked in a worried tone again.
Cartman sighed really upset. Meanwhile, Kenny responded him.
"Yes dude..."
"Uff, finally..." Butters sighed relieved while he stood up from the floor and smiled innocently.
"I'm sorry fellas. I really didn't want to get scared by the movie, so… I just forced myself not to see it, nor even hear it..."
Cartman just looked at him unimpressed.
"(*Sigh), Butters, you're unbelievably stupid…"
"Uuuh... Sorry Eric. I just don't want to get grounded by the nightmares I could develop tomorrow, you know? My parents can definitely ground me if I ever have one of those…"
"Well dude, they don't have to know it. It's not like they're going to read your mind or something…" Kenny recommended
"I don't know Kenny, are you sure they can't? My father can surely smell my fear from a mile away…"
Cartman facepalmed himself while muttering some words.
"Oh God this f*cking idiot..."
"I don't get it…"
Suddenly, coming from the whole commotion the 4 boys quickly stared at Kyle who wasn't as impressed as the other guys, especially with the movie ending.
"Oh great! Here we go!..." Cartman exclaimed annoyed
"No seriously, I don't get it. The ending is… really anti-climatic..."
"Dude, in the end the main protagonist turns out to be the original clone from the beginning…" Stan explained him
"Yeah, I get that already. What I don't get clearly is the fact that, well… No one really notice it..."
"Well, she was a really perfect copycat to begin with, and besides, she was still a kid when the exchange happened. Their parents would probably have thought she just got really impacted by the trauma of being missing and that's it. A perfect excuse to infiltrate among people…" Kenny explained him
"Well… If those copycats were too real they could have just checked if she had a distinct mark on her body to cross it as a copycat. A mark like, I don't know... Her belly button, or something…"
"Oh please Kyle, and what? Mess up the surprise? This is not a horror Simpsons episode Kail! That's part of the mystery!" Cartman told him
"Oh jeez, let's not compare it to the Simpsons now please. I don't like the Simpsons!" Butters said.
"You don't even have watched the film, dude..." Stan reminded him.
"Still..."
"Yeah, but like… Uff, there's like a ton of stuff they haven't come to explain yet, like the purpose of the sewers, or the message from that homeless dude, or even the rabbits…"
Kyle told them. Although he couldn't lie that the movie was actually pretty decent for him the symbolisms abounded so much in it that he couldn't tell if he was missing a part of its lore or something.
"Well, some horror films don't need a detailed explanation to understand what's exactly happening. That's the cool part. It leads you to use your own imagination…" Stan explained to him.
"Yeah, some of them have that touch, although I still like the Saw saga after this…" Kenny opined
"I don't know guys, it's just... This doesn't convince me at all…"
"It doesn't convince you like that time I found that ginger cow and you didn't believe me until BOOM! I was right all along? Hehe..." Cartman reminded him.
Kyle just frowned at him
"That still doesn't change my opinion, Cartman…"
"Pfff, whatever you say paranoid. I'm sure you would have picked something even worse, let alone your "shadows". Hehe..."
"Ugh, can you stop mocking me with that Cartman!" Kyle exclaimed tired of him.
"Oh yes! I remember that cow!" Butters said out of nowhere.
"Great Butters, you know what? No one f*cking cares. Now move, I'm going to get another glass of milk…"
Cartman unpleasantly said as he went straight to the kitchen again.
"Dude… It's just a movie." Kyle sighed impressed of Cartman's investment on the film.
"Oh… If Cartman wants a glass of milk I want one too…" Butters expressed disappointingly, making Kyle to frown him because of his ridiculous innocence.
"What horror movies do you even like Butters?" He asked him.
"Well a few…. Including that movie with the big magical cat climbing on the tree!"
"Butters… That is... Alice in Wonderland?" Stan told him.
"I know right? That cat was sure a nightmare fuel, I got grounded for 2 weeks because of him!"
"I don't know Butters…" Kyle said unimpressed.
"You know, I'm actually with Butters this time. That cat has truly seen some weird sh*t than the Queen of Hearts..." Kenny supported him.
"I always loved the hatter character..." Stan added
"Mine was the caterpillar, since he just doesn't give a sh*t about everything..." Kenny said.
"Hehe, everytime I see the caterpillar, I can't help to think he looks like our music teacher Romero but more squeezed and more out..."
They don't say anything but after two seconds they start to laugh really hard.
"HAHAHAHA! Dude! I never relate to it like that..." Kenny said during his laughter
"Haha! Yeah! Maybe that's the reason he always shows up late. Better take a quick puff before playing some notes!" Stan said
"Haha! Of course..."
"Hehehe! Yeah!... Ehh... What's a puff?" Butters asked but before Stan could respond to him the great mole returned with another glass of milk.
"(*Glup), (*glup), (*glup), Aaaaahh… So good… Were you guys laughing at me again?"
"No... but now that you are here, what's with your milk addiction today fatass? With that one you've already taken two cups of fresh milk..." Kyle asked him comically
"That's none of your business dumbass, besides I've already taken more cups than this one, deal with it..." Cartman responded him
"Wow Cartman! I didn't know you liked milk so much. You know? I have some in my house, if you know what I mean…" Kenny suggested him, making Stan and Kyle chuckle because of his dirty comment. Cartman just frowned him.
"Hahaha… Shut up Kinny…"
"Oh really! I want some of that milk too Kenny!"
This time Kenny even laughed harder than before.
"Ehm... Butters..." Stan called him
"What? I just asked for a glass of milk?"
"You better take it from the fridge dude. Kenny's not really talking about that types of milk..." Stan told him
"What type of milk are you saying then Kenny?" Butters asked him
"Hehe, you know the usual, cinnamon and lemon of course..." Kenny said while winking at Kyle.
"Yuck..." Kyle said.
"What? It's true. Listen, there's a new brand of milk cartons that s-..." Before Kenny could continue Cartman cut him off.
He had enough of Kenny's dirty jokes.
"Ok! Whatever! Shut up Ken! So well you guys! Tell me... What do you wanna do?" He asked them.
"I don't know…" Kyle said
"Lame..." Cartman responded him
"But dude, I don't even p-..."
"Lame!" He continued
"We could play video games again?" Stan suggested
"Oh yeah! That's a great idea! You know what Eric? I actually brought my Okhama GameSphere Plus so we c-..."
"LAME!"
"Oh c'mon dude!" Kyle exclaimed annoyed
"Can you stop saying that? We're just giving our suggestions!"
"Your suggestions suck ass, dumbass..." Cartman told them.
"Well... What's your suggestion then dude?" Stan asked him, tired of his ratings as well.
"My suggestion Stan? My suggestion..."
"Yes Cartman. What's your suggestion?" Kyle asked him as well.
"My suggestion is... going... to M-..."
"Disney World!" Butters exclaimed happily, owning a weird glare of his friends.
"Ehm... Butters? What the f*ck was that?" Cartman asked him
"Oh... Well, sorry fellas, I couldn't help it. I just wanted to fit in..."
"Well that didn't work too well so shut up! And never do that again..." Cartman ordered him
"Oh... O-Ok Eric, jeez..." Butters responded him sadly as he looked down while clenching his knuckles. Kenny went and gently patted his back in an effort to cheer him up again.
"Ok? Ehh... So what was your suggestion again?" Kyle asked him again.
"My suggestion is... going... to MY TREEHOUSE!" Cartman exclaimed really excited, but like too excited to even think about it.
For the boys' part, this was a completely weird mix of confusion, sadness, and weirdness.
To his treehouse? At night?
"What?" Kyle said incredulously
"What I said Kyle. Grab your bags. We're sleeping in my treehouse and that's final…"
They thought Cartman was making fun of himself, but no. He was saying it seriously.
"To your treehouse?" Kyle asked incredulously again.
"Yeah, are you deaf now Kail?"
"And why the f*ck would we want to?" He asked now suspicious.
"Because I say it dumbass. My house, my rules. Besides we haven't slept on a treehouse before you guys. Let's make it the first!"
The three were now suspicious at Cartman. everytime he used that happy expression that meant he was planning to do something bad to them.
"Oh yeah let's go!" Butters answered happily.
"No we're not..." Kyle said directly.
"Oh, let's don't..." Butters said disappointingly
"Kyle! Stop being a dick and move your ass up now! You're staining my floor with your macaroni fleks..."
"I'm going with Kyle this time around..." Stan said, siding with his best friend.
"Oh great, are you being a dick now Stan? Why the heck are you guys not following me?"
"More than one reason Cartman, but simply I just don't believe that your treehouse is still a thing..." Kyle told him
"Oh really, you think it's not?" Cartman asked angrily to them.
"The fact that it's still up is beyond my belief…" Kenny said, siding with Kyle as well.
"That's because I'm a good engineer, morons…"
"Excuse me? I built the whole damn thing myself while you were scratching your balls dude!" Kenny exclaimed displeased
"Wait, you guys built up a treehouse before?" Butters asked them curious
"Yeah. We did it for a "Truth or Dare" challenge against Stan and Kyle. Whoever brought more girls to the treehouse won. I was paired with Cartman unfortunately…" Kenny explained to him.
"Yeah, and we actually won!" Cartman exclaimed happily
"No you didn't…" Stan told him
"Whatever dude. We all know I won around here…"
"You have to bring girls from 3rd grade, bringing 6th and 8th graders to the treehouse wasn't part of the bet, so it doesn't count..." Kyle told him as well
"Specify next time jackass..." He responded him
"Whatever Cartman. My only question now is... Is it safe or should I be concerned about it?"
Cartman just frowned him.
"Listen Kyle, If I told you that my treehouse has been standing still for the past year would you believe me?"
"Ehm, n-..."
"Exactly! You would, and that's because I'm an awesome engineer, now c'mon! We're wasting more time than we should..."
Cartman said as he started walking towards his backyard. The three boys just stared at each other.
"Yeah! Stop wasting us time Kyle! Wait Cartman I'm going!" Butters said while following Eric.
"Ugh, this dumb kid..." Kyle said while he facepalmed himself.
"So what? Do we go, do we stay?" Stan asked
"I don't know dude..."
As Kyle talked to him Kenny already went in direction to where Cartman was going.
"Wait, dude... Are you going too?" Kyle asked him concerned.
"Well Kyle, I don't wanna be the turncoat around here but I mainly prefer to go to an old treehouse rather than play Hello Kitty Adventure ever again..." Kenny honestly said.
"Well, well, well... Take a look at that. Kenny's going too. Kyle, if you wanna still have some decent company I suggest you to follow us unless you like to play with your shadows along Miss Kitty. Just to let you know she really enjoys cats with a lot of paranoid heads! Hehe..."
Cartman said as he went straight to his treehouse. Now the only ones who were inside the kitchen were Stan and Kyle, who were deducing what to really do, since Kyle was not really invested to go inside that treehouse.
"Stupid fatass..." He said
"So what? We are just gonna follow him dude?"
"I don't know Stan. I'm still not taking the treehouse thing seriously..."
"Well, we can't just go and sleep here. Besides, Cartman would basically go and force us to come with him anyways..."
"I know Stan, but..."
"But what?"
"I've a bad feeling. Going outside? On a treehouse?..."
Stan couldn't tell what to do next. Sure, going now outside in a slumber party was something really weird but when it comes to predicting Cartman's next step he always was an unpredictable son of the devil. Despite this, Stan couldn't help but being curious about the treehouse as well.
"Well, um... We really can't be sure what he's gonna pull up. I can't even tell what he's going to make us do, but still, is this or nothing, Kenny and Butters are going with him as well..."
"Yeah Stan, but I can't tell if he's gonna still use my nightmare thing to elaborate a bad and cruel prank on me..."
Stan thought about that too, so he held Kyle's shoulders and promised him one thing.
"Kyle, listen. Whatever Cartman is gonna pull you up tonight, I'll be there and Kenny will be there too, so the most probable thing that can happen is a great beating to him when we find the chance, like usual. We'll have a big laugh, he'll start to blaspheme about it all week and thankfully he will not invite us into another slumber party in a whole millennia. It has always been like that dude, besides, maybe by doing that we could finally replace those little nightmares with this dumb memory and we will go to play some basket in the park. I know it's not that much, but at least you won't have the necessity to pass an absurd night alone. Huh, how about it?"
As much as Kyle wanted to be pissed by everything that happened to him during this messed up day he at least could say he wasn't alone in all this. The determination of his super best friend to make him feel sane was sufficient enough to snap out of his unsure trance. As much as Cartman wanted to be a jerk at times he could be sure that, whatever the fat boy would pull at him tonight, it wasn't going to affect him that much when he had most of his friends from his side, and with his super best friend cheering him up, he didn't need anything else.
"Yeah... It sounds really cool. Thanks dude!" Kyle exclaimed positively
"Heh, no problem. That's what friends are for... Oh! Yeah, and when this party is over I'll accompany you to the police station, let's see if they can do something about the "shadow dudes" that annoyed you during your walk from home..." Stan promised him as well.
"Oh you bet, I'm making the complaint. Maybe we could like unmask them and take our revenge doing the same thing to the fatass, let's see how paranoid we really are! Hehe!" Kyle maliciously suggested
"Yeah right?" Stan said ironically
The two boys laughed together. They couldn't be more parallel than two peas in a cup.
"Hehe... Well, I think doing something like that would be lowering ourselves to his level. I think I would settle for beating him up and that's it..."
"Ok dude, no problem..." Stan responded him reasonably
"Alright then... Let's go dude! Let's go the fatass' mansion! At least I wanna see if it has been maintained overtime..." Kyle said as he went straight to the backyard, followed by Stan.
"I'm going too. I don't wanna find myself being Miss Kitty's wool ball tonight..." Stan jokingly said.
The duo grabbed their stuff and went outside of the house where, in the middle of all the grass from Cartman's house yard, a big tree was seen carrying a deformed treehouse with clear signs of a bad engineering being present. Very weak and deformed nails, windows who looked like holes and the whole roof which was about to fall apart with Cartman inside.
Seriously, if Eric hadn't told them that they were going to sleep on a treehouse they would have thought they were about to visit a new type of escape room, one with a broken roof about to fall apart with all of them inside. Well, almost all of them, knowing that it was built by Cartman, God only knows if this was part of his master prank.
"Well… Cartman wasn't joking around when he said it was still holding up these days. It looks like a f*cking hut…" Kyle said
"Yeah… A rusty old hut…" Stan added
They pause for a moment.
"So... who's gonna go first?" Stan asked him
Before Kyle could respond him a sudden voice appeared out of nowhere.
"What's up, couple..." Cartman suddenly appeared behind them holding another glass of milk.
"AAH! What the f*ck!" Kyle exclaimed surprised as he fell down to the grass because of the sudden appearence.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You just fell down like a dumb ginger!" Cartman laughed at him.
Kyle just got up angrily and stared at Cartman.
"That wasn't funny..."
"Haha! Every time you fall like a giraffe is always fun for me Kail..."
"Like a giraffe? Ugh, why are you even down here? You should be up there dumbass!"
"I was, but I got thirsty and went for another glass of milk..."
"Jeez Cartman, what's with your obsession with the milk now?" Stan asked him concerned.
"I'm thirsty alright? I don't need to hear the criticism of two dumb hippies to know that I'm right about drinking milk all the time, so screw you guys! I'll be up here!" Cartman said as he climbed up the treehouse where Kenny and Butters were already waiting for them.
"Don't make us wait more suckers!" He said up in the tree.
"Uff, like if we don't have other options..." Kyle said as the two were climbing the long stairs.
The first one to climb was Kyle who decided to enter to the treehouse directly so he could got out from the backyard fast. Stan for his part stood there a little bit looking at both of his sides, making sure there was no one in there, just in case. After that, he climbed the stairs of the treehouse, carefully laying his feet on the right steps to avoid falling down. They were slowly but surely getting in there until...
"Hey Kyle!" He said from inside.
"Jeez Cartman slow down! We're already goi-...
"THE SKY IS FALLING!"
He shouted really hard as he threw his sleeping bag all the way down, hoping to hit Kyle. Much to his surprise, Kyle avoided it on time just so the bag could hit Stan right in the head.
"Aah... sh*t." He muttered disappointed
"The jew just avoid it..."
"OUCH! What the f*ck!" Stan shouted in response for the unexpected hit.
"Sorry Stan! I was aiming at Kyle…"
"Bad aiming fatass!" Kyle exclaimed mocking him
"No it wasn't! Stan! Come down there and grab my sleeping ball…"
"Grab it yourself…" Stan responded him
"Dammit, ugh…" Cartman grunted as he waited for the two to come in.
Just as Stan and Kyle were finally inside, Cartman went down to grab his sleeping ball. Meanwhile Kenny and Butters were seeing sitting on the floor. Butters was opening his sleeping bag while Kenny just stood there bowing his head to them.
"Take you long enough dudes. One second more and the roof goes down..." Kenny said to them.
"Hehe... Very funny Ken..." Kyle told him.
"Jeez Stan, what happened to your head?" Butters asked to the black-haired boy.
"A long story Butters, so what are we gonna do now?"
"I don't know..." Kenny said
"We can always play Hello K-..!" Butters said grabbing the console from his backpack
"No Butters!" The three boys told him immediately.
"I'm not gonna suffer from that torture again..."
"But... But Kyle! I thought you loved it!"
"Dude, I never liked that game! Is unfair, corny and a hell to be taken seriously..."
"Your parents need to buy you something more mature dude..." Kenny told him
"But Kenny! You alr-..!"
"Even if they ground you for it, the risk is good in the long term. Don't let them dictate your own experiences..."
"I don't know Ken, you haven't see their devilish faces when they are mad..."
"We've seen them already Butters. I think everyone in the town has..."
"Oh jeez, how embarrassing..." Butters said while clenching his knuckles of the shame.
And just with that, the boys stood there in silent for almost one long minute, waiting for the expected mockery that Cartman would normally made to them. However, nothing happened.
After another whole minute, Kyle finally said something.
"Hey, um... I know I'm surprised to say this, but... where's fatass?"
"Huh? He's not behind us?" Butters asked as well
"It seems not…"
"Maybe he's in the bathroom again, getting rid of his mushrooms. Hehe…" Kenny jokingly said
"Pfff, yeah right, the fatass is now climbing the stairs again after he failed hitting Kyle with his sleeping bag..." Stan explained
"Ooh... So that explains the long story!" Butters told him
"This red mark is gonna be long to get rid of..." Stan said while rubbing his forehead.
Suddenly, with the conversation on, some climbing noises were heard outside.
"Heh, Do you guys hear that? I must have called him…"
Kyle approached closely to the treehouse entrance. He nailed himself down to the entrance so he could scare the crap out of the round boy once his head appeared on plain sight.
"Oh my... He's gonna be pissed" He thought while Kenny started recording on his phone.
However, they weren't expecting the fatboy's trump card.
"Hey fatass. Guess what? The sky's now right in your f-..."
GRRRRRRAAAAAAHHHHH!
At a fast pace, Cartman appeared wearing a black hockey mask, screaming so hard like a broken megaphone. He instantly scared Kyle with his scream, which also surprised Stan as he jumped back while Butters also screamed as well because of the jumpscare.
"Holy sh*t dude!" Stan exclaimed
"Oh my God! It's a shadow figure! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH" Butters screamed
Kyle also jumped back and started to crawl towards their backs, getting far away from the supposed shadow figure. However, their surprise didn't last for too long.
"Pfffff HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! You guys are so predictable, God! HAHAHAHAHAHA! That was so lame! So lame! You should have seen your faces dumbasses, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Cartman expressed laughing as hard as he could. He really nailed with that prank
"What the f-... CARTMAN!" Kyle immediately shouted him
"Oh wait! It's Cartman!" Butters exclaimed
"Please Kenny please! Tell me that you've recorded all that, HAHAHAHAHA!" Eric said to Kenny.
"Absolutely..." He responded
"Kick-ass! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"That wasn't funny fatass!" Kyle protested
"Relax Kyle it wasn't even my great prank yet! No of course not! It was supposed to be scary! And I worked! I've never seen frogs jump as fast as you guys!" Cartman exclaimed
"Yeah!" Kenny also said
Cartman and Kenny started to laugh at the same time, making Kyle blush from embarrassment.
"No you didn't. I just got surprised..." Kyle said looking into another direction.
"Yeah, whatever..." Cartman rolled his eyes.
"Why do you have a hockey mask Cartman?" Asked Stan who also recovered from the sudden surprise.
"I have it in case I need to cover myself under unexpected circumstances, for example pretending to be one of those shadow freaks that Kyle has been hallucinating all day!"
"Oh boy, we came back to that again..." Kenny said while covering his face with his hood
"That was unnecessary, asshole…" Kyle remarked again.
"Pff, necessary for your head. Paranoic…" Cartman said while sticking out his tongue.
Kyle, really annoyed, decided to turn away from Cartman, sitting in a corner and facing a wall from the treehouse while Cartman threw his hockey mask away.
"Great job fatass, now he's pissed…" Stan scolded him
"Relax Stan, I'm just giving him an important life lesson...
"Which is...?" Stan asked frowning him.
Cartman just take two steps and then looked back at Stan from the corner of his eyes.
"Shadow people suck…"
"Dude, you got another glass of milk? My theory is starting to make more sense..." Kenny said
"Shut up Kinny! This is my slumber party! And I will drink as many milk as I want!" He exclaimed while drink the whole glass of milk in one sip.
"Oh boy, I almost pee my pants after that scream..." Butters honestly said
Kyle watchesd closely the conversation that the 4 were having while turning his head to face the big salient that the treehouse only had. He took a look outside, with all the darkness revolving around the treehouse with the moon illuminating all the small town from Colorado.
It was really that difficult for Cartman to just believe him? He knew what he saw, he wasn't paranoid at all, was he?
Kyle, exhausted, looked closely into the darkness from outside. He was imagining that those shadow people were just hiding as possible through the darkness, waiting for the perfect moment to stroke him piece by piece, without hesitation, without mercy.
He wasn't feeling safer anymore inside that treehouse, although he tried his best to not let the nerves get the best of him.
He still thought about it for a while until a hand tapped his shoulder, a hand that made him return him back to reality once more.
"Ehm... dude…"
"Huh, what?" Kyle asked suddenly.
He immediately recognized Stan, who tried to caught his attention
"Are you more calm?" Asked Stan
"Yes, a little…" Kyle said, still wanting to punch the fat jerk's face.
"Well, I don't want to force you or anything, but Cartman has now proposed to form a circle and start to tell horror stories. You know? Just to pass the time…"
"Oh... And what about his milk problem? Isn't he thirsty enough..." Kyle said ironically.
"Well, he brought a full box of milk cartons..." Stan said while pointing at the pile of milk cartons.
"Well, you can tell him that he can read those stories alone, I'm not in his f*cking mood right now..." Kyle said firmly.
"Yeah Kyle, but we could take our revenge now against him by simply just making him scared. Do you know a good horror story dude?"
"Well, I…"
Kyle thought to himself for a moment. He didn't want to stay in there for too long and now Cartman was just rubbing his fears all over his face, so of course, of course he was going to scare the sh*t out him.
"You know what Stan? I think I know one…"
"Wow really?" Asked Stan surprised
"Yeah..."
"That's cool dude! Alrighty then! Let's put on our sleeping bags now and see what we can come up with..."
Stan exclaimed proudly as he returned with the other 3 while Kyle looked outside one last time. Then he returned back with them.
Kyle, Stan, Cartman, Kenny & Butters had their sleeping bags already opened and forming an uneven circle. Cartman was holding a flashlight that he found inside his treehouse and with it illuminated his face covered by the hockey mask through the darkness.
"So guys… tell me... (Cartman lights his flashlight on his face) who wants to start?"
"Oh me! Me me! Please Cartman, I want to start!" Butters exclaimed insistently.
"No Butters! I'm sure you are gonna start saying corny things…"
"Oh please Cartman! Please! I'm not gonna say anything corny this time! I don't even have corn in my pockets..." Butters insisted, but Cartman wasn't having it.
"No..." He abruptly said.
"Oh c'mon Cartman, don't be a pussy…" Kenny said
"Yeah, just let him try. That's why we made this circle in the first place, right?" Stan added
Cartman just sighed really heavily
"Uuuuurgh... Alright! Dammit. Grab this…"
Cartman tossed his flashlight to Butters.
"Wow, sweet!" Butters exclaimed happily
"Ok Butters! Let's go! Enlighten us…" Cartman said while moving his hands
"Hooray! Ok fellas! Prepare yourselves! Because this story is gonna drive you NUTS!"
Literally 5 minutes later…
"And then the little blond boy couldn't take the glass of milk in time and he was grounded! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Butters screamed as he was wrapping up the story. As any of you could expect, Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny didn't get horrified at all.
"…"
"And that's it Butters? He just got... grounded?" Cartman asked unsurprised by Butters' standards
"Yeah! Just as I said it! C'mon fellas! Isn't that terrifying?"
"Yeah yeah… really terrifying…" Kenny said with a little bit of sarcasm in his tone of voice.
"Terrifying? Really dude?(*Sigh), Butters... That has to be, absolutely, in every way possible, the stupidest, dumbest horror story I have ever heard in my f*cking entire life!" Cartman honestly said.
"But Cartman! It's true! The story is real! Are you not scared of being grounded by your own parents?"
"Butters, I swear to God, no one gets scared just for being grounded! For God's sake grow up!…"
"I'm scared of being grounded all the time Eric!" Butters exclaimed scared
"Butters cool down, if I were you I'll definitely face your parents one day…" Kyle suggested him.
"No Kyle! Doing something like that to my parents is the equivalent of a kamikaze mission!"
"Ehm... You know Butters? What if you toss me that flashlight, I have a great "horror" story to tell…"
Kenny said while grabbing the flashlight from Butters' small hands.
"Alright Kenny, start telling. And you better not tell a dirty one this time…" Cartman warned him
"Hehe... Yeah, yeah… yeah Cartman. I will..." Kenny said while winking at Stan and Kyle.
The two other boys giggled a little, knowing what story was about to tell Kenny
"Why are you two laughing?" Cartman asked confused
"Hehe, just wait and see…" Stan suggested him.
"Alright dudes, I found myself in the middle of the night. I'm scratching my belly while I try my best to sleep good. I try and I try, but I just can't, you know? The dreams just don't wanna come to me…"
"Ok?" Cartman said while Stan giggled a little
"So you know, I went to my bathroom to, you know, splash a little bit of water on my face, maybe dump something, whatever you know? Just trying to get some good old f*cking sleep..."
"Yeah, it happens to me sometimes…" Butters confessed
"Alright, so what?" Cartman asked annoyed by the intrigue
"So then, I proceed to open my bathroom's door, but surprise surprise! You have no idea what was climbing on my toilet covered with white stuff. Do you know what it was Cartman?" Kenny asked to his friend.
"Oh yes! I see where this is coming! Let me guess, your dad or something?" Butters responded
Stan and Kyle started to laugh a little, with Cartman not knowing where this conversation was really going.
"No..."
"Your dad passing by?"
"No..."
"C'mon Kenny! F*cking say it aloud!" Cartman exclaimed annoyed
"Nope! A big fatass monster covered with talcum powder!"
Stan, Kyle and Kenny started to laugh really hard while Cartman didn't get the ending.
"Really? That's the best you can come up with Kenny? What a waste of a story, it's dumb and not scary…"
"Well, did I mention that the monster had a fresh glass of milk put on the toilet seat?"
"No you di-... Wait a minute…"
Now Cartman understood the ending. He naturally started to get pissed.
"YOU MOTHER*CKER!"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Everyone laughed as hard as they could while Cartman went straight to Kenny to punch him in the balls.
"STOP MENTIONING THE TALCUM POWDER THING DUMBASS!" He expressed angrily
"Have a taste of your own medicine fatass!" Kyle exclaimed while laughing.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorry dude! It's just so bizarre that I can't stop thinking about it" Kenny exclaimed as well.
"SHUT UP! Both of you!" Cartman protested
"Did it have mushrooms? Because that'll be scary scary…" Butters said making Stan laugh harder as well
"Butters! You're not f*cking helping!…" Cartman protested again.
"Hehe, well… that's the best one so far..." Stan said
"Up your anus Stan! Now give me that! It's my turn now…" He said as he tossed violently the flashlight from Kenny's hands while Kenny was still laughing hard
He sat and illuminated his face, forming a creepy expression on it.
"Alright Cartman, surprise us…" Kenny said
"Yeah, scare us Cartman!" Butters encouraged him
"I'm going, I'm going. Just... give me a minute…
"(In Cartman's mind) Sooo… c'mon Cartman! Think! What horror story could you come up with?"
Cartman narrowed his eyes to Kyle, who looked still confused by the strange apparitions. By seeing him it gave him an idea.
Bingo!
"Ehm… Cartman?" Stan called him
"Oh yes! So this is the story about a little green hat boy who liked to be named "Kail"..."
"Oh man! Here we go…" Kyle protested annoyed
"Shut up Kyle! I haven't even started yet…"
"You don't need to Cartman! I'm already in one of your stupid stories again…" Kyle said while crossing his arms.
"Kyle! I'm talking about Kail, not you. The other Kyle! Now shut up Kyle! Let me continue…"
"Yeah Kyle! He's talking about Kail, Kyle…" Butters supported Cartman's lecture
The stupidness of the two individuals made Kyle's blood to start to boil. However, he remained still.
"(*Sigh), Goddammit…"
"So anyways, Kail had a super hot strong skinny dude who always warned him about the dangerous situations he could face during life, a super cool dude known as Cart…
"Let me guess? Cartman right?" Stan tried to predict.
"I said Cart now shut up! So well, one day Cart warned Kail about something really important, an information so crucial that it could potentially save his own life:
"Kail, watch out! I just heard that big fatty mommies like yours, in the middle of the night, transform into big fatass monsters who had no remorse in trying to eat little children like us, you should be careful with your mother Kail…"
However Kail, who was always in a really bad mood (nobody never knew why) cut him down saying:
"Pffff, whatever jackass, like if that's actually going to happen, I like Fant4stic Four...", a big fatal mistake..."
"Cartman…" Kyle tried to call him
"What the little green hat boy didn't know was that during THAT specific night in particular a horrible curse haunted their little abandoned town, specially to the mother of that little green hat boy…"
"Cartman…" He called him again
"Shh, it's getting interesting…" Butters silenced Kyle.
"So when he was having a deep sleep, he heard a pleasant voice through the darkness of his room:
"Hey young man, wake up, you're gonna miss the spectacle…"
Kail, waking up upset, responds her in a, again, really bad tone:
"Maa, what the f*ck? It's like 3 a.m. in the morning…"
"That doesn't matter sweetie, you have to know what happens with big fatty women like me at these hours of the morning…"
"What happens?" Kail responds in a confusing way.
"Cartman!" Kyle called him one last time
""THEY EAT THEIR CHILDREN!"" Cartman exclaimed
"Suddenly, the big fatty woman mutated into a being of a thousand eyes and with three mouths, with one eating Kail, with another swallowing Cart, but not eating him, because he was just too handsome to die…
"Of course he'll be…" Stan said
"And the last one eating the whole town where she lived before, destroying every piece of land and every house or living being who desired to face her rage, including adults, children, BABIES!
"No! Not the babies!" Butters exclaimed in pure terror
"Oh God…" Kyle pinched his nose
"And then, when all her destruction finally saw an ending, she just returned back to her human form and left, leaving Cart with just an inner terror all over his face. The legend unfortunately says that this wasn't the last time she did something like that, as new researches have brought to light that this big fatass woman now lives somewhere else in the state of Colorado, more specifically in a region from the south of the state, reformed and now living with another kid with a green hat who tends to be an irritable load of s-...
"CARTMAN!" Kyle shouted angrily
"Kyle! Stop interrupting my f*cking tale! I don't even hav-..."
"Shut up! Just shut up already! You're just making fun of me and my mother again!"
"Wow wow wow wow wow! So the big fatty woman was Kyle's mum all this time? WOW! What an incredible plot twist!" Butters exclaimed innocently
"Great, that was the detail that I wanted to keep open, but since Kyle is more salty than an erupting volcano, he had to go and spoil everything, just like my character Kail. Am I right Kyle?" Eric asked him knowing full he was going to piss him beyond belief.
Kyle's face turned red.
"Grrr, insult my mother one last time and I swear I'll punch you in that putty face of yours…"
"Jeez, alright Kyle, I'll not insult her again. In fact, what if I go and tell the prequel story of this one simply called "Kail of Shadows", also known as "how Kail became such a complete paranoid when he started to believe that his own shadows were just persecuting in the st-..."
"THAT 'S IT!"
Kyle shouted angrily as he ran quickly to Cartman and started punching him in the face repeatedly.
"Hey stop! Stop it Kail! You don't like my scary stories or what?"
"STOP MAKING FUN OF MY MOTHER!, STOP BRINGING MY NIGHTMARES AGAIN! JUST STOP MAKING FUN OF ME FATASS!"
"OBLIGATE ME JEW!" Cartman encourage him.
"YOU BASTARD!" Kyle shouted again
The two eventually started to fight really intense this time around. The fight became more and more intense as they started punching themselves. It came to a moment when Kyle started to use some kicking at him.
"Oh my, let it go fellas!" Butters exclaimed worried
"Alright, Kyle, Cartman. Stop it. It's enough…" Stan said while intervened to separate the two.
"THIS MADMAN IS GOING TO DIE TONIGHT!" Cartman shouted to Kyle
"YOU'RE GONNA DIE FIRST!" Kyle shouted at Eric
"Kyle! Let it GO!" Stan shouted to the two beasts
"Stay away Stan! I'M DONE WITH THIS RACIST SCUM!" Kyle ordered him.
"Ugh… Kenny help! Help me hold Cartman!" Stan said to his friend Kenny
"Oh no you won't!" Shouted Cartman now
"Alright Cartman. C'mon, this fight is over…" Kenny said calmly at Eric.
In the end Stan held Kyle and took him away from Cartman while Kenny did the same with the fatty. Butters meanwhile just stood there covering his eyes in case the fight got worse.
"C'mon fellas! Stop it! We should be having a great night together! Don't start ridiculous fights over shadows and talcum powder!" Butters told them while being freaked out of the situation.
"Yeah dudes! Listen to what Butters had just said! This fight is f*cking stupid…" Stan supported Butters on the cease of the fight
"Yeah dudes..." Kenny added
"Ugh… FINE!" The two boys shouted at the same time and immediately stopped fighting, walking straight to the opposite corner of the treehouse.
"I'm so sorry dude. I wouldn't have done that if CARTMAN WASN'T A COMPLETE ASSH*LE WITH MY FAMILY!
"HEY! I'M JUST TRYING TO BRING A LITTLE BIT OF JOY TO THE F*CKING AUDIENCE! BUT SINCE YOU HAVE BEEN ACTING LIKE AN IDIOT ALL DAY! Ugh... Let me go Kenny! I'm fine, I'm better…"
"Ok, everyone stop! Kyle, you already know how Cartman always is with us. There wasn't any need to raise this to a higher level…" Stan told to his best friend.
"Dude! C'mon! He was f*cking asking for it when he started telling those stupid tales!"
"And you Cartman, stop making fun of Kyle fro once in your f*cking life! He had already a rough day before getting annoyed by your jokes…" Stan precisely told Cartman.
"Pfff, whatever you say hippie. At least my stories are good, like if he could tell a better story. Oh wait, he can't, CAUSE HE'S A STUPID PARANOID FREAK!"
"OH REALLY?" Kyle shouted
"YEAH, REALLY!" Cartman dared him.
"Ok! Give me that flashlight! I'm gonna open your mind immediately." Kyle said as he grabbed the flashlight out of his hands
"Oh my God!" Butters exclaimed surprised
"No Butters! I'm not saying literally…"
"So now you're gonna tell your scary tale?" Kenny asked him
"Yep…" Kyle told him
"But like a really SCARY scary tale?" Butters asked him curiously
"Kinda…"
"Ha! This is to burst out with more laughs! HAHA! YOU? A scary tale? I wanna hear it... No wait, I don't need to, you're too predictable to even scare any of us..." Cartman mocked him from the distance
"We'll see Cartman, we'll see. This is a story, but not a particular one. In fact, it's a real story. The story of a boy who dared to explore the unknown in the depths of an abandoned attraction near his home around the town. Is a story that I like to call it: "The abandoned attraction"..."
"Wooooow, how original…" He mocked him again
"Shut up..." Kyle ordered him
For the next minutes Kyle started to relate his past experiences when he was a toddler in the Cow Days Festival 5 years ago. He told, without changing his memories, how that boy ventured to the unknown, how he separated himself from his parents so easily, and how discovered the mysterious light which resided deep down the attraction and of course, he narrated the presence of the mysterious kid he saw in there. He told the story with such detail, like if he actually had lived the same circumstances as that kid.
Of course, as we have read before, we know for sure that he LIVED those memories, however he didn't want to be labeled as a delusional, even after all those years, Kyle still couldn't believe what he saw in that weird attraction, so instead of say it directly, he just decided hide it as a scary story, just to see the reaction of the main 4 and then think later.
He trusted them, he trusted them enough to tell them all his past experiences like, c'mon, they have passed through a lot of crazy situations before, they surely could believe him (except Cartman of course).
Right?
Kyle finished his storytelling, ending it with that same question he has been asking to himself for the past 5 years…
"What the hell did he see inside that maze?"
A small silence invaded the treehouse.
"So… What? Did you like it?"
"Wow..." Kenny said as he started to clap his hands, indicating his impressions of the story.
"That was deep dude…" Stan said amazed
"Wait wai wait? So that's how it ends? Jeez! Now I'm intrigued! Who was the other kid from the abandoned attraction?" Butters asked amazed as well
"He never knew, as a matter of fact, no one ever knew who this mysterious figure was since nobody believed his weird tales. They thought he just imagined it, even his parents believed he just invented it. And to this day, the mirror maze attraction is closed to the public, although some witnesses have justified seeing that mysterious kid prowling near the attraction, but no one wants to be sure, because no one has ever got the guts to enter inside that mirror maze again…"
"Mysterious uh…? Are you sure it wasn't Mysterion? He's more of a mystery guy himself…" Stan said in a joking matter
"Pfff, like if he could travel back in time..." Kenny added, knowing full well that his alter-ego has never known about the existence of that maze ever.
Everybody started laughing with the cherry comments, everyone except for Cartman, who just stood there giving a serious glare at Kyle. Kyle noticed this and expected his cutting response.
"(*Sigh), do you like the story Cartman?"
"It's dumb…" He obviously said
"Great, whatever…" Kyle already sent him to take wind.
"Not dumb in a stupid way of course. You just have took it from the movie we had just saw tonight stupid…"
"What do you mean fatass?" Kyle asked him indignant, but Cartman proceeded with the rant.
"However! You have just say it in a way so realistic that it makes me wonder if you have actually lived it, which I honestly disagree absolutely..."
"Cartman, if I say it in a way that's too realistic is to make it more entertaining for the readers. But anyways, what do you mean by not agreeing with me even if this is or not real?" Kyle asked him again.
"Well, simple. I've been going to the Cow Days Festival every year since I was like 3 years old and I've never ever heard about an attraction related to mirror mazes, which automatically makes the story really really ridiculous…" Cartman told him finally.
"Well, at least is more believable than your stupid story about Kail and Cart!" Kyle told him
"And more scary…" Stan added
"Because you don't understand the real horrors of coming face to face with an abominable monster like your fatass mum Kyle. Now that's a real story for me." Cartma said
"Cartman…" Kyle tried to shout his mouth again but Eric was too tired to even hear his screams again.
"Alright guys! Now if you excuse me, I'm going to sleep. I'm super tired and I wanna go to bed…"
"But Cartm-..."
"Tsch Tsch Tsch… Screw you Kyle, I'm going to sleep…" Cartman cut him tiringly
"You don't wanna hear more horror stories from me Cartman?... Ehm, Cartman…"
While Butters was about to narrate another one of his "horror" stories Cartman wasn't there anymore. He caught a deep sleep in a really short amount of time and was already snoring too loud, something which even impressed his own friends.
"Wow. Fast sleeper..." Stan exclaimed surprised
"Yeah. Cartman surely is tired of scratching his body with all that talcum powder…" Kenny said
"(*While snoring), Shut… up… Ken..." Cartman ordered him in his dreams.
"Hmph... Better for him..." Kyle said pleased that his fat companion was not going to bother him anymore.
"C'mon Kyle, just ignore him…" Stan told him
"Yeah! Your horror tale is really good. Just because Cartman is jealous for not admitting that your story is really good that doesn't mean he can still upset you…" Kenny reassured him too.
"Yeah, well… I still wish he stopped one day insulting my family, it's really starting to get me on my nerves…"
"Dude, that's just how Cartman operates things. Just don't make him feel superior to you, ok?" Stan reassured him
"I know already. Thanks dude..."
"Sweet fellas! Sooo… Who's next?" Butters asked curiously.
"Give me that flashlight Butters, I know another one that's just more nuts…" Kenny told him
"Don't you know any other horror story dude? I'm really out of ideas tonight…" Stan asked to his best friend.
"No Stan, although I really wanna hear Kenny's next big splash…"
"Oh man, you're going to enjoy this one. Alright! This is a story that I like to call it "Scream of the night", and it's based around a traumatic event that happened to my older brother in real life, so be ready…"
"Uuuh... Not another real one!" Butters exclaimed nervously
"Ok so this is how it starts:
"It's 3 a.m.. The night is really dark. Everything is calm, too calm. Then suddenly, a scream is heard throughout the whole house. A howl from beyond the grave. A scream from the undead!":
"MUUUUUUUUUUMMMM! WHERE'S THE TOILET PAPER?"
