Chapter 7
"Potter" I screamed "Don't look at me! I'm naked!"
"I feel as if I should say the same" Potter answered.
"Don't worry, I don't have a magnifying glass with me"
Moaning Myrtle laughed. I don't know what she was doing with Potter, alone in a bathroom. With the golden egg. They must be into some weird things...
"Well, Draco, you'll have to go. I'm busy" Potter said.
"I can see that"
"Actually, Harry, the… thing could help you" the ghost said. She then turned her attention to me "What would you do if you wanted to understand the egg's screams?"
I certainly wasn't going to help Potter. He was my mortal enemy, even if he didn't realise it. Plus, he already had the ghost's help, who had experience with screaming things, judging by her name.
So, I said the most stupid thing that passed through my mind.
"I don't know… You could open it underwater and listen to it then" If I was lucky, maybe he would drown.
But, alas, Potter, in his unbounded intelligence, brought to him by his amazing neuron, only submerged the egg, leaving his face out of the water, his eyes fixed on the wall. I'm sure it was really interesting, but if he didn't put his head underwater, he wouldn't suffocate.
"Put your head under the water, genius" I said.
"I'm not going to do that. I could drown"
He was stupid, but he had great survival instincts. I suppose that explains how the Potter bloodline survived as long as it did.
"Come on, don't worry… It's not like I'm going to throw you the petrificus totalus so you drown" That was a lie. I was going to throw him the petrificus totalus so that he would drown. Do not fret, dear reader, I do have a perfectly valid reason for such murderous tendencies.
"I'm sorry" he said, leaving the bathtub and blinding me in the process. He quickly left the bathroom.
After relaxing in the bubbles for a few minutes, I left as well. I walked in the dark corridors, searching for my room. Sadly, I didn't find it. What I did find was Snape's potato-like nose and his greasy curtain of hair. Next Christmas, I would give him a special shampoo.
"What are you doing out at this hour, Malfoy? Tsch, tsch. Unless you have a very, very good reason…"
"I was trying to kill Potter" I said.
"Ah. Alright then. Keep up the good work" and he walked away.
I'm sure Potter has been substituted. After all, he couldn't have forgotten all the fun times we spent together. Weasley vomiting slugs. That funny snake I sent to attack him in second grade. All beautiful memories that apparently, he hasn't cherished.
That's what the imposter would have you believe.
I think that the true Potter is being held hostage, and that his kidnapper is using polyjuice potion to live his life. And that is inadmissible. If someone is going to ruin Potters life, that is going to be me. The kidnapper must die.
"Malfoy, what did you say" McGonagall asked, her eyes bulging with fear.
"Oh, I was just doing improv, professor" I improvised.
I had a plan. The real Potter loves flying brooms, and the imposter will too. So, I just had to find one of the school's broomsticks, jinx it, and just sit back and see Potter's silly face when he falls to his doom.
"Pot-t-ter" Snape drawled, pointing at an orange slime which currently resided in Potter's cauldron "What is this… sludge? This… disrespect to me? To potions? Five weeks detention, Pot-t-ter" that name does roll of his tongue.
Potter scoffed but said nothing.
"Have my ears deceived me? Was that a scoff, Potter?"
Potter got up, looking at the ground, and put his things inside his bag. Hermione was caressing his shoulder with one hand and stirring her cauldron with the other.
"It's okay, Harry, it's okay…" she whispered, rather ineffectively, since everyone could hear her.
Potter scoffed again and left the dungeon, Snape's face twitching as Potter walked away.
"Two hundred points from Gryffindor!" he screamed, and he vanished the contents from Potter's cauldron with a look of disgust. Ah, if only he could do that with the imposter…
I was walking down the corridor, wand in hand, ready to defend myself from the author of such horrible sounds:
"Fer-Fer… FER-FER!"
I couldn't see her, however. Maybe she had taken after the basilisk and started to live inside the school's pipeline. Unlike the basilisk, a mirror would not be a suitable defence.
"What are you doing, Dragon King?"
"Put your big nose in your own business, Black"
He was the only one who still called me by that god-forsaken name, and always did so with a smile painted on his face. Black could be having the worst day of his life; he would be smiling from ear to ear when he catched a glimpse of me.
"Hey, hey, Dragon King. You are my business. You are my protégé, after all" and he flicked his hair dramatically. Would he ever wash it? He wasn't in Azkaban anymore, we had baths here. "I actually have been looking for you"
Could it be? I was the hair expert, after all. My fur wasn't this shiny by itself, let me tell you that.
"You just have to rinse it with soap and water everyday and the scab will disappear after a few days. Then, I can put you in touch with some of my people and help you find the shampoo that complements your hair"
"What are you rambling on about? I want to talk about Harry"
As if my day couldn't get any worse. I had already finished my daily Potter insulting (that morning I had made a brilliant remark about his lawless hairstyle), so I didn't have anything to win by talking about him.
"Don't you think he's acting weird lately" Black continued, ignoring my attempts to ignore him. "He's angry all the time, and the other day, he told me to leave him alone!"
Finally. He must've been drowning in Black's drool. Poor guy. I may hate him, but even an imposter doesn't deserve this stalker. Even so, it was curious that Black also noticed the existence of the imposter.
"I think so too. You know, you may not be as stupid as you look"
"Thanks, Dragon King" Black beamed.
"It's not a compliment, Black. You look very stupid"
This time Dumbledore wasn't there to break my fall. Luckily, we were only on the first floor and the window was already opened. After Black accioed me back to the corridor, we continued our conversation. He promised me a gift for what I had said and did a fregotego spell on the hand that had thrown me outside the window. I could get on his hair so that he would wash it.
No, I'm not going to touch that. I have my limits.
"I think that he's been substituted by an imposter. Like Moody" I said.
"Professor Moody, Dragon King" Sirius grinned "Detention for that disrespect, tomorrow"
I will bring soap.
"What did you say, Dragon King?"
"Nothing" damn that mind reading hat.
"Great. Tomorrow we can talk about this imposter of yours" Sirius said, and then he started to walk away. "By the way, enjoy your gift!"
I couldn't sleep that night. Trevor had somehow entered my room, and he desired a cushion.
Black.
I would kill him.
Notes:
Hey. I'm back for a while, i guess.
