Episode 1! The Truly Gorgeous Jiggle Butt Gang!

Throughout the kingdom of Fiore, there were murmurs of a certain wicked group that had reached far and wide. They were a gang of pirates that terrorized and razed small towns to the ground led by a ruthless captain that caused destruction with the power of storms and plundered what was left behind when the residents fled their collective wrath.

Various guilds hoping to challenge these villains and reap a hefty reward for taking down a public menace were beaten down one by one. Eventually, Fairy Tail opted to play their decisive hand, and Erza Scarlet, Cana Alberona and Lucy Heartfilia set forth to the location of the pirates' most recent sighting-a port town by the name of Begonia. The three walked along a path on their way.

"We're almost there. Are you two prepared?" Erza asked, a stern look on her face as they drew close to their target location.

"Sure." Cana shrugged dismissively.

"Yeah, I got no idea what'll happen, but I'm ready for anything!" Lucy said with great confidence.

Once she said that, there was a loud rustling in a nearby bush. Erza quickly aimed a sword in the direction of the shuffling shrubbery.

"Who's there?" she shouted.

"Yikes! They spotted us, already!"

"Whaddya we do, boss?"

"Well, um, come out on cue! Like we planned!"

Those voices sounded quite familiar to Erza. She sighed. "...You know we can hear you right?"

And just like that, three figures-or rather, three men in black leotards emerged, jumping high into the air and landing with a pose that showed off their huge rears.

"It's us, the foul, rotten scoundrels! The Jiggle Butt Gang!" announced the bushy-browed leader.

"Ugh, it's you again." Erza, Lucy and Cana groaned in unison. They each remembered having to deal with the trio of bumbling big butt bandits. Needless to say it wasn't pleasant.

The Titania marched past them, her brow furrowed. "We haven't the time to deal with you. Let us be off, ladies."

"Hey wait!" The bandit boss began, but he was stopped as the tip of a sword was suddenly pointed dangerously close to his nose. A fiery look flashed on Erza's face.

"Do not get in our way. I haven't forgotten our last encounter, so just give me a good reason..." In response to this, the three men fell on their knees letting out a river of tears.

"P-Please! Sp-spare us! We're not here to cause you trouble! W-we're here to help you!" The leader stammered in fear as he bawled.

The scowl on Erza's face softened a bit. "Help us?"

"Why should we even trust you?" asked Cana.

The leader suddenly had a serious air about him. "Because these pirates are bad news! Lackeys! What do they call themselves?"

"The Thunderstorm Gang!" the lackeys answered.

"The Thunderstorm Gang?" Cana and Lucy questioned.

"Yes! The Thunderstorm Gang! And they have the entire world fearing them! It makes villains like us look...incompetent!"

Erza let out a resigned huff, sheathing her sword. "Fine then. How do you plan to help us? This had better not be a waste of our time, or else..."

"W-well, you are all plenty strong but the captain of those pirates is more so! We can make you even stronger, deadlier, even! And you can get revenge for us!"

"I'm listening..."

The leader grinned as he and his lackeys, on cue, held out black suits, matching their own. "Ta-da!"

Erza rose an eyebrow. "You want us to wear these?"

"That's right! These will give you our powers! Guaranteed to make you strong and deadly!"

The Titania twitched a little in annoyance. It was obvious what this would entail, as she knew full well the sheer power of their...technique. She turned to both Cana and Lucy.

"What do you say, you two?"

Cana and Lucy exchanged glances. Then Cana spoke up. "Ah, what the hell. Something tells me it might be fun."

Erza's eyes widened a little in surprise, as she dwelled on that response. Fun, huh? A solemn smile appeared on her face, as she looked upon the black suit held before her.

"Very well. We'll accept. Also, how is it that you guys always seem to have spare uniforms on you?"

"Trade secret." said the leader. "Now hurry and get the suits on! You've got pirates to punish!" With no time wasted, the ladies had the suits on.

"I forgot how comfortable this is." Erza said wistfully as she began stretching.

"Daaaamn my ass is freakin' fat!" Cana shouted as she gave her now larger buns a squeeze and a few pats, making her butt cheeks bounce. Curious, Erza and Lucy observed their backsides too.

"...hm. My buttocks are larger as well "

"Woah! My butt too!"

"Hahaha!" the Jiggle Butt Gang leader laughed triumphantly. "See? What did I tell ya?"

Erza eyed the leader. "So does that mean we can also..."

He nodded. "Yes, yes. Our most evil of abilities bubble within your bowels as we speak! You've learned GAS-BUTT ECSTASY!"

The Titania smirked. "Is that so?" And with that, she leapt to the sky, gracefully aiming her big butt to land on the bandit leader with a-

BWOMF!

The boss was frozen in shock, his face smothered by cheeks, and the lackeys looked on, aghast.

Erza sneered. "How did you call that technique? Ah yes. POINT-BLANK ECSTASY!"

An absolutely massive blast of yellow gas erupted from Erza's butt, sending the boss flying and engulfing the immediate area in a toxic stink cloud.

"Geez, Erza! You totally laid them out!"

Lucy's observation was putting it plainly. The Jiggle Butt Gang were felled by the flatulence as they lay on the ground, unconscious. Erza stood there, smiling with pride. not the least bothered by her own nasty wind wafting about her. Neither were Cana and Lucy, it seemed.

"Hm, that was fun." she said, before eyeing the path leading to the town. "Perhaps we could make use of their abilities this way.

"So...does that mean...?" Lucy began to ask.

"Yes." the Titania went on. "Instead of those bumbling fools using their name and their abilities for mischief, we shall use their name and their abilities for the good of justice! Are you with me? Lucy? Cana?"

The blonde and brunette both grinned wide. "We're in!"

"Glad to hear it! Today marks the start of our transformation into the cheeky heroines of justice! With our abilities, we will be evil's worst nightmare! And we shall waft in faces of villainy! For we have become..."

The three proceed to pose, with their bulbous backsides sticking out.

"THE JIGGLE BUTT GANG!"


It didn't take the three spandex-clad women that long to make it to Bergonia Town. Passing through the entrance, they noticed it was more of a ghost town, completely rundown and abandoned. Many buildings were demolished as well. As they made their way to the central part of town, Erza, Cana and Lucy looked around for a bit, still seeing not a soul.

That is until...

"Hahar! Looks like we got us some lubbers!" a voice spoke.

Startled, the three turned to see a woman walking toward them in all in her strange and gaudy glory. She wore a demeanor of great confidence (or perhaps arrogance) with her pink hair tied into large ponytails, upon which sat a hat suited for a pirate captain. She was draped in a royal blue robe with a hem lined with white fur, making her look like a pirate king of sorts. or in this case, a pirate queen. Behind her followed a motley crew of men.

Erza narrowed her eyes at this garish looking lady. "You must be the captain of the Thunderstorm Gang."

"That I am, lassies. The esteemed Cap'n Udele Donnerhart! I'd ask who you are, but that doesn't matter. You bilge rats are aiming to get in our way, aren't you?"

"That's right! Your plundering days are over, you scallywags!" shouted Cana.

A catty smile slowly creeps across the pirate captain's face. Then she laughs. Uproariously.

"HahahaHAHAHAHAR!"

She is soon joined by her crew and their laughter echoes through the ruined town.

"YAHAHAHAHAHAHARHARHARHARHAR!"

Just as the laughter began, it soon stopped with a wave of the captain's arm. "You must be joking, aye?"

"Nay." answered Erza.

"The Thunderstorm Gang takes what it wants! This town refused to bend to our will, so we had to teach the barnacles a lesson! And now we've more riches to plunder! The thunder bellows with a vengeance! HARHARHARHARHAHAHAR!" she laughed out loud once again while throwing her head back, but it was abruptly ended as she glared at the ladies. "You are hardly worth my time, less than a bucket of chum, so why should I waste it dealing with you? Get after these wenches, ya swabbies!"

Brandishing weapons, the crew of men charge at the three with a roar.

"Can we gas these idiots, Erza?" Lucy asks.

"We sure can. Time to charge up!"

The three women turn their buns in the direction of the oncoming pirates. All three of their butts began to quiver as their gas was building to the max!

"Gas-Butt!"

"Triple!"

"Ecstasy!"

A great big toot sounded as their butts released their collective gas. And the unfortunate pirates charged straight into the cloud of stench.

"WAAAGHHH!"

"It freakin' stinks!"

"AAARGGHHH!"

"Ack! Gaaack!"

"My nose!"

"It burns! It burns! Everything burns!"

Cries of torment rang out. Thuds were heard as some men toppled over. As did the Jiggle Butt Gang before them, the pirates were knocked cold as they lay on the ground before their very shocked, and very disgusted, captain.

"Bl-Blimey, what a stink..." she chokes out. "Guess I ought to take ye seriously after all."

"So is it a fight you want, Captain?" asked Erza.

"Aye!" Captain Udele drew out her weapon, a large broadsword that she had strapped to her back, that she effortlessly held with one hand. "Allow me to introduce my prized weapon, Blitzstrahl, the caller of thunder! Now we duel!"

"Impressive. I accept your challenge." A battle aura emanated from Jiggle Butt Erza as she materialized a sword in her hand.

"Ah, a requip mage, are ya? Looks like you've got some surprises! Now, have at you!"

The two clashed blades as Cana and Lucy watched with excited looks. Sparks flew and steel struck steel, every blow parried and matched with another blow.

"Hahar! You're not bad!"

"You are a skilled fighter yourself. Such a shame you use your strength for such wickedness."

"Aye, I've heard that one before. But I've no intent of stopping any time soon. Unless you think you can stop me, you fat bottomed wench!"

Erza smiled. "Glad you noticed my ample assets. Take this!"

The Titania puts up the pressure, whittling down Captain Udele with subsequent blows, forcing her backwards.

"Urg. Damn, you're not letting up. Guess it's time I go all out! I'll show ya why I'm called Thunderbolt Udele! HAHAR!"

Once she said this, she held aloft her sword, the weapon's tip pointed above as the entire blade flashed with blue electricity that crackled through her entire body. Her eyes began to glow blue as her wicked grin grew wider. She lowered her arm, pointing her sword at Jiggle Butt Erza.

"Now you'll witness my true fearsome power. The power of a Donnerhart!"

"Hm." Erza looked to be unfazed, as the sword in her hands vanished. "If that's how it is, if we're unleashing our true, deadly powers, I won't be needing a blade. The only weapon I'll use to win is..." The Titania turned about to present her wobbling, big behind. "This big butt of mine!"

"GAHAHAR!" The pirate captain burst another one of her hearty laughs. "But what will be faster? That calamitous caboose of yours or my baneful blade? HAHAHAR!" With that, Udele runs in, her sword raised and ready.

All Jiggle Butt Erza had to do was leap aside, avoiding the massive blade as it crashed down. Seizing an opportunity, she lunged at Udele, shoving her behind into her face.

After a very nasty point-blank fart, the captain fell backwards, overcome by the mighty flatulence. Erza stood over the dazed pirate.

"Kaff...koff...guh...wh...who are...you?" asked Udele as she lay on the ground, with trails of gas flowing out of her nose.

Heroically crossing her arms over her chest, Erza gave her answer. "We're the Jiggle Butt Gang."

"I'll...koff...remem...ber...that " and the fearsome captain finally fell unconscious. The Thunderstorm Gang was soundly defeated.