Chapter 15- One Foot in Front of the Other

Early Wednesday evening, they arrived back at the Condo, and Michonne went straight to the refrigerator and poured herself a large glass of wine. Rick scurried off to use the restroom and Carl ran to his room to put his bags down and flopped onto his bed. No sooner had Carl gotten comfortable, than his mother gave him a task.

"CARL," Michonne called from the kitchen after gulping down a bit of wine, "PUT ALL YOUR DIRTY CLOTHES IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM!"

"I DON'T HAVE ANY MOM. GRAMS WASHED THEM ALL! I LEFT MOST OF THEM THERE SINCE WE ARE GOING BACK NEXT FRIDAY FOR MY PARTY!" Carl returned and Michonne took a breath of relief.

Michonne was glad she had one less chore to complete and thanked Ella silently as she took another swallow of wine. She was still so tired, but for the last six days, Michonne was running on pure adrenaline and now that she was home, her exhaustion was catching up with her. All she wanted to do was finish her wine, eat something light, and go to bed. Michonne took a last swig of wine, refilled her glass, and walked into her bedroom just as Rick was strolling out holding something familiar in his hand.

"Michonne. What's this?" Rick asked as he held up the pregnancy stick and Michonne's eyes grew big, and she looked at her glass of wine aghast then back at Rick.

"Oh my God Rick! I forgot just that quick!" Michonne uttered and Rick leaned against the bathroom door, "I was sure I threw all those away?"

"It was sitting on the floor behind the trash basket," Rick informed, "Are you pregnant?"

"That's why I came down to King County last Friday. To talk to you about it. To surprise you. SURPRISE!" Michonne hollered but Rick was not amused.

Rick had questions and Michonne was going to have to come clean with the answers.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Rick inquired and walked over to give Michonne a hug, "I'm happy about it. Are you?"

Rick stared at Michonne anxiously.

"I am Rick. I was going to tell you after the birthday party. How in the hell did I forget!" Michonne muttered and was about to mindlessly take another sip of wine, but a grinning Rick took the glass before it made it to her lips.

"Oh, shit Rick!" Michonne muttered as she looked at the contents of the glass she was about to guzzle down again.

"How long have you known," Rick inquired and placed the wine glass down on the dresser then sat down on the edge of the bed.

Michonne thought back to when she first suspected she was pregnant and how she actively fought to trick her mind into believing that she was not. There she was, looking at herself in the mirror, a twenty-six-year-old grown successful attorney acting like she was the little seventeen-year-old pregnant girl all those years ago. It was time to put on her big girl panties and face the new reality.

"I suspected was when I told you I was sick off Sushi. I knew it wasn't the sushi, so maybe a few days before that?" Michonne admitted nervously looking Rick in the eye.

"That was what, two, three weeks ago? Why would you say it was the food and not you thought you were pregnant?" Rick ambled over, gently grasped her hand, and led her over to sit on the chaise lounge near the window.

Once they were comfortable, Michonne took a deep breath and was completely honest with Rick.

"I was scared that you would leave me again. I was scared that I would have to go through another pregnancy without you. I was terrified Rick, and at the time, I would rather pretend that I wasn't pregnant so I could stop my mind from being consumed by it," Michonne admitted with sad eyes.

"Michonne," Rick whispered with deep sadness.

"BUT Rick, I don't feel like that anymore. After what happened with that gang and how you took charge and saved my, our, baby by any means necessary," Michonne smiled, "After that, all my doubt faded away and I realized that you were here for the long run. I am happy and excited about the baby, and about us and our family."

"Really? You sure? Because we can work through this together. Maybe with the therapist?" Rick inquired and Michonne grinned that bright smile that he loved so much.

"I'm sure. I just wanted to wait until everything settled with you, your mom, Carl, the funeral, the birthday party. It was already a lot going on, but Rick," Michonne smiled brightly, "I am happy, and I am better. Are you happy Rick?"

"As the dick is long," Rick laughed and Michonne hollered.

Rick planned to celebrate the new baby that evening with his fiancé, but Carl made that impossible. At first, Carl wanted to sleep in his room, alone. After Rick tucked Carl into his bed and left back to his and Michonne's bedroom, he heard footsteps behind him.

"Carl?" Rick asked perplexedly as Carl rushed past him in the hallway.

"I know how you like tucking me in, but mom does too, and I did not want her to miss out on that experience. I will make it easy for her and sleep in the room with y'all," Carl replied and went straight to his parent's bedroom and jumped under the covers.

Thursday morning, after they dropped Carl at school, Michonne called his school counselor as Rick drove her to her law firm and asked for a referral to a family therapist. When she called the school on Monday, Mrs. Snyder was at a mental health conference for the next few days, so Michonne did her own research on the best family therapists in the city and found two top choices. Michonne decided to wait and see who Carl's school counselor would recommend before she made any appointments. Mrs. Snyder was surprised by the request because Carl was always so well-rounded, but happily gave Michonne the name none-the-less and Michonne was thrilled that her top choice matched Mrs. Snyder's referral.

"Mrs. Hawthorn, Dr. Cloyd is usually booked months in advance, but if you like, I can call to see if she can do me a favor and squeeze you in?" The counselor offered and Michonne gratefully accepted.

By mid-morning, Dr. Cloyed called Michonne with an appointment for Friday afternoon.

"That was fast," Rick replied after Michonne called to let him know.

"She said Ms. Snyder was a good friend. We are lucky Rick. I looked her up, and Dr. Cloyd is the best in Atlanta. She was not taking new patients until four months out. I need to do something nice for Ms. Snyder," Michonne informed with relief, "What are you doing. Sorry if you are bored today at the condo alone."

"Nah, I ain't bored. I'm sniffing your panties. I miss you," Rick laughed and Michonne was flabbergasted, "Just kidding. I just got back from the moving store. Got some boxes and packing tape. Figured I would start packing the condo. I'm gonna start with the kitchen if that's all right?"

"That's perfect Rick. Oh, I gave my boss my letter of resignation effective the end of this month. He understood. Then he put a pile of work on my desk that was priority that I finish," Michonne muttered as she looked at the stack of folders.

When Rick and Michonne walked into the school to sign Carl out Friday afternoon, the school counselor, Sandra Snyder, wanted to have a quick chat.

"Mr. Grimes, nice to finally meet Carl's father! Usually Mrs. Hawthorne comes up to the school," The school counselor greeted a little taken aback at how handsome Rick was.

"Call me Rick," Rick suggested and Michonne rolled her eyes after she noticed the woman's cheeks blush.

"Call me Sandra," The counselor returned in a tone that sounded like flirting.

Michonne elevator eyed the woman and raised her brow. She turned to the office staff, and all of their tongues were wagging too. Michonne was seriously thinking about not giving the lovesick woman the hundred-dollar coffeeshop gift card she purchased as a thank you for the foot in the door with Dr. Cloyd. Michonne begrudgingly handed over the gift.

"For the referral," Michonne smiled.

"Thank you! This was not necessary but thank you!" Ms. Snyder gushed eyeing Rick and Michonne had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep herself from losing her shit.

"We have an appointment in about an hour, so we don't have much time. What did you need…Sannndraaa," Michonne elongated her named with some bite and a very tight smile.

Michonne needed to get the enamored school counselor refocused. Ms. Snyder sensed the irritation and was slightly embarrassed. Ms. Snyder was tempted to fan herself after walking Rick and Michonne into her office.

"Where's Carl?" Michonne asked, noticing that Mrs. Snyder was still focused on the very handsome man sitting in front of her desk.

Carl's name snapped Sandra to attention.

"He is still in class. I wanted to talk to you and your…" Ms. Snyder hesitated on Michonne's relationship with Rick.

Michonne almost rolled her eyes and the school counselors not so subtle fishing.

"Fiancé, We are getting married next month," Rick answered enthusiastically and Michonne almost laughed when she saw Sandra's face fall in disappointment.

"Congratulations!" Mrs. Snyder uttered and stared at the two for a bit too long wondering why Rick only recently entered the picture.

Michonne knew what she was thinking and figured it was none of her damn business unless it was information necessary for them to understand Carl's emotional state and urged the counselor to continue.

"What is this about?" Michonne asked anxiously and waved her finger in a circle indicating for Sandra to get to the point because she was tired of the counselor's fawning over Rick.

Michonne looked at her watch to double down on her point.

"Carl, since I have known him, has never been for lack of a better word, clingy. But all day yesterday, and this morning, he has been hesitant to leave an adult's side. He did not want to venture out too far at recess and it's usually the opposite. His teacher usually has to call him back from the far end of the playground. He is still Carl, just a little different and I wanted to talk to you about it to make sure everything was okay with him," Ms. Snyder ended then looked at both parents.

"Carl has gone through a lot these last few days," Michonne answered then explained the kidnapping to the counselor.

"Oh God. Thank you for letting me know. That explains his behavior then. And you say he refuses to sleep alone and having bad dreams?" Ms. Snyder asked and both Rick and Michonne confirmed.

"I believe Carl is trying to process the trauma that he experienced, but with children his age, even with Carl precociousness, most children have a hard time putting those emotions into words. And if they hold on too long without being able to express their emotions properly, it comes out in other ways such as clinginess, being afraid all the time, anger, you name it."

"Yes, we are on our way to see Dr. Cloyd. Thank you again for calling and helping us get an appointment so soon," Rick expressed with gratitude now even more worried about Carl.

"I am so glad she was able to move some things around. Dr. Cloyd is fantastic, and I have seen her work wonders, even with some of our families here," The counselor affirmed and gave Rick her a coy smile.

Sandra smiled back shyly too. Michonne rolled her eyes at the counselor's crush and Rick's encouragement of it.

"Can you get Carl please. We don't want to be late for the fantastic Dr. Cloyd now do we," Michonne spat with fake enthusiasm, and Sandra nodded and asked the secretary to call for Carl.

"Umm, If you don't mind Mrs. Hawthorne. I can call Dr. Cloyd now and give her some background about Carl. I think it will allow you to get more out of the session if she already has some personality information about him. If that is all right?" Mrs. Snyder offered.

"I appreciate that," Michonne smiled genuinely this time.

Carl was unusually quiet on the car ride to the therapist, and Michonne could tell there was something on his mind. She hated that Carl was filled with trepidation and hoped Dr. Cloyd lived up to the raving reviews and could help her son. One they arrived, they found Dr. Cloyd to be friendly with a soft, positive way about her that made them all feel comfortable, and they immediately relaxed. She told Rick and Michonne that she appreciated getting the background information from Sandra, and after meeting Carl, and taking to the family for a bit, Dr. Cloyd immediately knew the direction she wanted to take with the tyke. And with Michonne too.

"Ok, I think that was an informative session. Will you be in town next week?" Dr. Cloyd asked the family.

"Yes, until Friday after Carl gets out of school," Michonne answered, "Then we are driving to King County. We are moving there at the end of the month."

"I heard about the town and all the growth! Let's see, I can rearrange my schedule on Wednesday for about two hours. I would love to talk to you individually for part of that time then back as a whole family. Would that be possible?" Dr. Cloyd inquired and she pushed her glasses up with her pointer finger.

"I can. Michonne?" Rick asked and Michonne nodded, still a little offput that he brought up her pregnancy issues earlier in the session because she had already told Rick she was happy about the baby.

"Yes, that's fine. How early can you meet. Carl has missed a lot of school lately and…," Michonne began while Dr. Cloyed opened her calendar and looked at her day while Michonne finished her comment.

Dr. Denise Cloyd's schedule was booked. She had an 8am appointment, and a break after that until 10am. A lunch break, and four more sessions.

"This might work out better. If we start at 7am, I can push back my 8am to 9am. That way we will be done only a short time after school starts. We can have separate sessions without rushing, then reconvene as a whole group. It will even give me time to talk with just you two without Carl to look at the next steps. You can get Carl to school before 9:30am. Is that ok?" Dr. Cloyd asked as she looked back and forth between Michonne and Rick.

"Perfect," Michonne smiled.

When they got on the elevator, Rick swiftly jumped out right before the doors shut yelling that he forgot his car keys and for Michonne to meet him in the lobby. Michonne's eyes were big. She panicked and before the doors closed, he watched Michonne desperately push the elevator buttons for the elevator doors to open. Rick felt like shit, but he needed to get Dr. Cloyd alone and let her know the issues he was seeing with his fiancé. Dr. Cloyd took note and Rick raced down the stairs to the lobby. By the time he got down, Michonne and Carl worriedly rode back up. When Dr. Cloyd heard the ding, she paused and turn to see an anxious Michonne.

"He took the stairs down," Dr. Cloyd informed and watched Michonne hurriedly press the button.

Dr. Cloyd took a breath and walked back into her office to jot down this new development in her notepad. On the way back home, they stopped and informed DEM STREETS that Carl's birthday party was still on, before they headed back to the condo to start dinner.

"Rick, I know I said you could go back to King County in the morning, but if you want to stay here, I really won't not mind," Michonne suggested and that was when Rick saw the terror in her eyes.

Rick knew there was something off about Michonne, and thought it was just pregnancy hormones, but Rick was certain that was not the reason. Michonne was scared to be alone. Now he understood about Maggie coming to the condo next week instead of going straight home to the farm.

"All Right. Let me call Hershel and tell him I am staying here through the weekend and probably next week too," Rick offered watching as the relief washed over Michonne.

Rick wanted to discuss her concerns but decided to wait and bring up Michonne's issue at the therapy session. Instead he changed the subject. He did not want to panic Michonne more than she already was.

"Are Abe and Rosita following us back next Friday? Or are they coming Saturday, the day of the party?" Rick asked after following Michonne in the kitchen.

Michonne texted Rosita and was surprised when she texted back her reply.

"Rosita said she and Abe are leaving Thursday morning," Michonne informed confused, "I wonder why they are going so early. I will call her later and find out. Rick, the refrigerator is empty. Can we order in?"

"You wanna just go sit at a nice restaurant?" Rick suggested an alternative.

"I would rather stay in, if that's ok?" Michonne uttered a bit tensely.

"No problem. Go pick a menu and I will order," Rick replied and gave Michonne a slap on the rear.

While Rick was ordering the food, Michonne called Rosita to get to the bottom of their early King County arrival. Michonne was surprised to find out they were going to talk to Andrea about their future in King County. Andrea had a chat with Clifford, the Medical Examiner, and Daniel Garcia, the new Fire chief so she could bring news to both Abe and Rosita, and by all accounts, the news was good. On Thursday, they were going to discuss the possibilities. Michonne was excited and could not wait for more details, but right now her priority was to keep herself in check, so she could be strong for Carl. That was difficult to do since Rick's news stressed her out on Saturday afternoon. Rick noticed over his recent stay, Michonne had become just as clingy as Carl. Rick was worried.

"I will come right back Tuesday night after my shift. I hate to leave Hershel short-handed. Noah took a little vacation, Warren is dead, Anderson is retiring and is taking his vacation days. As soon as Noah left to visit with his parents in Richmond, Tara got sick, and Shane took off to drive Lori and Vivian to Manville to stay with her parents for a little bit. Something about Lori having some cramping. Took her to the doctor and she has preclamp…," Rick struggled to remember the name.

Pre-eclampsia," Michonne aided.

"Yes, her blood pressure was really high. She is going to stay with her parents, so they help her and Vivian. Shane don't want her alone while he is at work all day. Lori had to take off from teaching the rest of the school year. I guess Shane is going to commute back and forth until she has the baby, but he took the first half of the week off to get her settled," Rick informed and Michonne nodded worriedly.

"I pray Lori and the baby get the rest they need," Michonne offered with genuine sympathy.

"That leaves us short-staffed. It's just me, Theodore, Bassett, and Hershel right now, and one person needs to be at the station at all times. Between me, Theodore, and Leon, we are going have to split some shifts. Tara should be back by Tuesday, but if Tara is still sick, I will make Bassett work a double and call Anderson's ass in. It's been pretty quiet in King County, but even then, those two are not the best…" Rick laughed and Michonne took a deep breath.

Michonne felt guilty about monopolizing Rick's time. He had taken a lot of time off work. Michonne put on a fake smile and acted as if it was not a big deal.

"Rick, Carl, and I will be fine, "Michonne chuckled and waved him off and Michonne's body language did not match her words yet again.

Rick was worried about leaving her, and decided on a Plan B and was glad their two friends had no problem with his idea. At 6am Sunday morning, Rick kissed a sleeping Carl goodbye and woke up Michonne to lock the door behind him. An hour later, Michonne was pacing in the kitchen drinking coffee when she was startled by a knock on her front door. She hesitantly walked to the door and looked through the peephole and grinned. When Michonne opened the door, she was surprised they were carrying luggage.

"What's going on? Come in!" Michonne offered and stepped to the side.

"Had a leak. Pipe in the bathroom flooded the whole damn floor," Abe lied, "The apartment complex had to turn our water off. Since today is Sunday, they gotta wait till Monday to get the supplies. They are hoping it will be fixed by Tuesday. Mind if we bunk in your guest room until then?"

"Of course not! You know you two are always welcome here," Michonne grinned, and Rosita noticed the tension ease from Michonne's entire body.

By Tuesday evening, the Ford's "faulty pipes" were fixed just as Rick returned from King County. Michonne had no clue the whole water leak story was fictional. Rick was grateful to have friends like Abe and Rosita. On Wednesday, Rick, Michonne, and Carl were finishing their second therapy session. Rick told Dr. Cloyd what happened to Michonne privately.

"Michonne, first, my session with Carl went great. He has some issues, but he is bright, and I think he will be just fine. I commend you for raising such an open young man who is in touch with his own feelings. He has been having some nightmares like you said, but I think I have a plan to work through them. Also, and excuse me for saying this so directly Michonne, I think Carl is feeding off of your anxiety which is intensifying his.

"Excuse me?" Michonne uttered defensively.

"Michonne. You went through some major trauma too. Rick is trained in dealing with those types of situations, but you are not. Is it possible that you are not fully over the trauma of what happened when you were a teen, between you and Rick, and running away, and almost living on the streets with your baby? Then finding out about your father's death, and what Rick's father did, and all compounded even more by the kidnapping. Do you think it as built up and now you are so overwhelmed that you are afraid of losing everything and everyone and ending up alone?"

"I, No, I ….," Michonne stuttered, and Dr. Cloyd interrupted before Michonne could fib that she was fine.

"Let me know if I am off base here. You saw those thugs take your son. Loss and Alone. You watched as they held Rick at gunpoint. Loss and Alone. That drama immediately brought you back to that day on the street with Rick when you were seventeen. Loss and Alone. Then your father dying. Loss. Your mother previously dying. Loss, and because your father was not mentally well, Alone. Now you are pregnant again, which takes you back to the theme of loss and Alone. Am I on to something?"

Michonne sat for a minute wringing her hands and deciding it was not useful to lie to the therapist or herself.

"Yes," Michonne admitted with tears in her eyes immediately putting a name to what she had been experiencing since the kidnapping.

"After everything was resolved between you and Rick, that feeling of Loss and being alone never left, it just compounded until you started to drown underneath the burden of it all leaving you little room to breathe. The only thing that makes you feel better, feel safe, is to keep both Rick and Carl close. Too close to really sustain for any long period of time. You have to go to work. Rick has to go to work. Carl has school. You both have friends, work trips, and everything in the middle. They can't be with you every second of the day. Especially Rick. Michonne, you need to confront those feelings because the longer that it festers, the worse it will get."

Michonne knew Dr. Cloyd was right. She did not like feeling the way she did every minute of the day.

"What do I do?" Michonne pled needing some relief.

"Let's talk about your gains for a minute. Ok?" Dr. Cloyd asked and Michonne nodded, "What gains have you made in your life? Let's start back to when you were seventeen after you had Carl."

Michonne took a deep breath.

"Well, the biggest gain was Carl, of course. Then Darryl next. Darryl was a Godsend and has only made my life better. I can't forget Father Gabriel, and his church who were instrumental in my success. They are another gain. Then Sasha and Rosita and Abe. I gained my law degree and in turn I gained a great career and a better life for myself and my son," Michonne answered and smiled weakly.

"Ok. So this might be a difficult question, but it's a question to help you realize how strong you really are on your own. Do you think you had more losses during the time you and Rick were separated or more gains?"

"Rick is a gain!" Michonne hollered and Dr. Cloyd raised her hand in defense.

"Of course he is, but that was not the question. Without Rick for those first eight years, did it cause you to have more losses than gains?" Dr. Cloyd asked again.

"Well, no," Michonne muttered with guilt, "I guess not."

"Don't feel guilty Michonne. You accomplished a lot without Rick. That is something to be proud of. The strength you found in yourself to carry on for you and your son despite the interruption between you and Rick and all the obstacles that were laid in your path is a huge gain. That experience made you strong. What other gains can you list BEFORE your reunion with Rick?" Dr. Cloyd asked with her pencil ready to jot down Michonne's answers on her tablet.

Michonne sat and thought for a moment.

"I gained my power. I was attacked in my second year of college, and I felt weak. I never thought about having to defend myself like that before and I could not leave my son an orphan. After, I took some self-defense classes, learned sword fighting and a little stick fighting, and some martial arts too. I was never going to feel that weak again, and no, I do not want to talk about that right now. I like just focusing on my gains today," Michonne smiled.

"Ok, maybe another time. Now let's list the gains after your reunion. I know Rick is one. But what are some others?" Asked Dr. Cloyd.

"Well, Ella is a HUGE gain. And Letty. Getting closure and finding out my father loved me and never stopped looking for me. That's a definite gain. Seeing how Rick is with Carl. It's like he was always there. Rick is a great father, even more than I had hoped he would be. So that's a gain. Ummm, my new job in King County is a huge gain. It means more time with my family. DEM STREETS are a huge gain!" Michonne laughed, "Andrea and Shane are definitely gains."

Michonne stopped and smiled. She immediately felt better.

"So why don't we focus on all that you gained Michonne and remember, it was YOU that caused all this this positivity and success in your life," Dr. Cloyed advised.

"Oh! Another gain! I like outdoorsy stuff again!" Michonne giggled humorously then chuckled pensively as if she had an epiphany, "I also gained happiness. Before I was driven, focused, but I was only really content with my life. I was happy for other people, but never for myself because there was something missing. And it was not Rick per say that caused the happiness, but he was the catalyst that helped me connect every speck of joy that was surrounding me. Before, I felt outside all of all the joy and now I feel immersed in all that is good in my life. I can say now, I gained happiness. I am happy. And I am gaining another child. And I am just, Happy!"

Michonne's smile turned into a wide grin, and she felt her heart was full, not just because of Rick, but everyone that came into her life and every experience that led to her sitting on that couch at that moment.

"Good for you! Ok, so I have two tasks for you, well three before we all meet again at least one more time. First, I want you to keep that list of gains with you everywhere you go and remember them with everything you do, and when you start to focus on the loss, pull the list out and reflect on it, whether your list is figuratively in your mind or literally on a piece of paper. Whatever works for you. Second, between now and our next meeting, I want you to explore alone. Start small. Walk down the block by yourself. Go grocery shopping. Visit DEM STREETS. I want you to feel comfortable again doing things like that by yourself. And if you go to King County before we meet again, do the same there. Then add Carl to the mix when you start to feel comfortable. Third," Denise got up and walked over to her bookshelf and picked two journals, "Carl likes superheroes, right?"

"Yes, Carl loves them!" Michonne answered with glee, "So do I."

"He told me," Chuckled Dr. Cloyd, "Third. I want you to give this to Carl and have him jot down his nightmares. When he wakes up, I want you to ask him what he remembers right away, don't wait too long because each second we are awake, we sometimes forget what we dreamed until the memory is lost. You may have to write the details for him, but do not use your own words Michonne. Only write what Carl says or let him write it for himself. If he does not wake up in the night, then the first thing in the morning, as soon as he wakes up, ask him what he remembers. A scene, a character, even if it's just one word. Ok?"

"Of course," Michonne answered worriedly as she looked at the batman journal.

"Do worry too much. Carl is processing something in his nightmares and if we know what he is dreaming, we can talk him through it. Ok?" Dr. Cloyd assured.

"Ok," Michonne smiled then looked confused at the wonder woman journal she was handed.

"I want you to write down how you feel when you are doing your own tasks," Denise pointed to the book of blank pages, "You can't help Carl if you are struggling too," Dr. Cloyd advised wisely, "You got your homework?"

"Yes," Michonne replied with a deep breath feeling much better than when she started the session.

"Let me go get Rick and Carl and we can finish all together," Dr. Cloyd instructed and let Rick and Carl into the room.

They made another appointment for the following Thursday morning, after all the birthday celebrations were over. Once Rick dropped her off at work, Michonne figured there was no time like the present. After reading briefs for the last two hours, she decided to take a walk break. Michonne took a deep breath and headed out of her office building and onto the busy Atlanta streets.

"One foot in front of the other Michonne. You used to walk these streets every day with no problem," Michonne convinced herself for a much-needed confidence boost.

Each step she took, Michonne listed a gain in her head. She walked the block and then another until she arrived at her favorite pizza place. She bought two slices, one sausage and one veggie for the sake of the baby. She found a shaded bench in a grassy area in front of her law firm and enjoyed her lunch as she jotted her feelings in her journal. After Rick and Carl picked her up from work, she took another stroll and Rick was confused.

"Where are you going?" Rick asked and Michonne explained her homework.

Carl wanted to tag along, and Rick told Michonne that he would wait in the lobby for them. Michonne declined them both and instead asked them to start dinner, and to expect Maggie soon. And under no circumstance were they allowed to let Maggie cook, or touch any of the food for that matter.

Michonne decided to visit DEM STREETS first and remind them about the party on Saturday, then over to the park across the street from her condo. Michonne laughed after strolling over to the same slide that, according to Carl, was too small for her big butt eight months ago. She walked a little further and noticed the net that Rick tore through on the play equipment was good as new, and she put another gain on her list. Laughter. Rick brought that back into her life and she was grateful. By the time she made it back to the condo, forty-five minutes had passed, and Rick was worried, up until he saw her walk inside the condo led by her beautiful smile. Rick knew deep down that Michonne was healing and everything was going to be ok. Well, least in the long run, but at that moment, Michonne was experiencing some turbulence.

"MICHONNE! Rick won't let me help cook!" Maggie hollered and Michonne was torn as to which side to choose.

Michonne looked between the two and decided to do the only thing she could do, throw Rick under the bus.

"RICK! SHAMEFUL!" Michonne hollered and then turned to sooth her future cousin-in-law, "That is awful Maggie, but you know how controlling your cousin can be sometimes."

Michonne did not make eye contact with Rick who she heard suck his teeth.

"He is controlling! You need to control your need to control Rick, and stop being so controlling all the time! It's dinner, not a nuclear crisis," Maggie hollered.

"The way you cook Maggie, it's similar," Rick insulted, and Maggie narrowed her eyes and Rick narrowed his, both ready for another of their classic battles.

Carl was laughing hysterically and Michonne offered a win-win-win solution.

"Since you want to control everything Rick, Maggie and I are gonna have some wine and sit on the balcony and relax until dinner is ready. Kitchen is all yours!" Michonne muttered and Rick placed his hands on his hips, shook his head incredulously at two parts of her declaration.

"First, ain't no wine Michonne and I am gonna have to insist that you remember that for at least the next nine…dinners, the next nine dinners," Rick covered and prayed Maggie did not catch his blunder.

Michonne made a whoops face and discretely touched her belly and Rick pursed his lips at her forgetfulness. He was going to have to watch her ass from now on.

"Why nine dinners?" Maggie asked bemused.

"Because we made a bet and I lost," Michonne lied and looked at Rick with wide eyes.

"What was the bet?" Maggie asked, amused.

"I bet you would successfully annoy me at least five times in the first five minutes you were in my home, and you have exceeded expectations Maggie. Nine times in five minutes is a record. Being a constant nuisance takes talent. Congratulations," Rick bit.

"Shut up Rick," Maggie spat and walked out to the balcony.

"You owe me!" Rick insisted pointing a finger at Michonne before walking back in the kitchen, "CARL!"

"Yes dad," Carl answered causing Rick to jump back in alarm grasping his chest.

"Oh Shit! Sorry, I didn't see you there. I thought you were in your room," Rick uttered a little unnerved at how Carl was just standing there almost toe-to-toe staring up at him and grinning, "you can help me with dinner tonight."

"OK!" Carl hollered enthusiastically and ran to get his apron and Michonne was giggling at Carl giving his father a jump scare.

Rick narrowed his eyes at Michonne's amusement.

"Oh Michonne, since I am doing all the cooking, you and Maggie will do all the cleaning. And I am gonna get really messy in here. Drips of sauce on the floor, and excessive amounts of pots and pans messy."

Michonne's face fell, and she gave Rick the evil eye before joining Maggie on the balcony, sans wine. Rick made peace by bringing Michonne a cold glass of iced sweet tea. The peace was threatened when Michonne made him go back inside and get Maggie a glass too.

On Thursday afternoon, they needed a few ingredients for dinner and Michonne and Carl walked to Mr. Andrews grocery store without Rick or Maggie. Carl was nervous and confused and was holding Michonne's hand in a death grip. But when Carl sensed how happy and calm his mother was, Carl instantly relaxed too. He did not let go of his mother's hand, but it no longer felt like Carl was going to crush her fingers. Michonne hated the fact that she caused more stress in Carl than was necessary and was determined to turn both of their mindsets around.

Early Friday morning, Rick wrote the same word in Carl's journal as the two mornings prior before sending him to school. Wolf. That was all the tyke could really remember, or was willing to share. Rick and Michonne did not know which. After school was dismissed later that afternoon, Rick, Carl, Michonne and Maggie headed to the farm. Carl was excited because his big birthday party was almost here, and when they pulled up to the farm all were in awe. The decorations were up, and everything seemed ready to go. Michonne had no clue how Ella was able to pull everything off so flawlessly and she was greatly appreciative. Michonne thought she was going to have to work through the night to get everything done. Ella made sure Michonne did not have to life a finger.

"I didn't want you to be tired dear, plus Beth and Letty were a huge help," Ella smiled brightly when Michonne hugged her tightly, "Rosita, Sasha, and Abe helped too! Darryl just grunted directions and I shooed him off."

"Thank you, not just for all of this," Michonne waved her hands around indicating the party preparations, "but for everything Ella. The way you loved Carl from the moment you saw him, I just…." Michonne sobbed and could not finish her thought.

"Michonne, I should be thanking you for allowing me to love on my grandson like I do. You and Carl have made me so happy," Ella expressed and elevator eyed Michonne with a smirk before she went to hug her grandson.

"Hey Rick, your mama just looked me up and down," Michonne muttered worriedly, and Rick shrugged his shoulders and took their bags into the house.

Ella watched Michonne walk into the house behind Rick and wondered if she was getting a new grandbaby in the very near future. Michonne looked a little puffy in the face and one of the lower buttons on her shirt seemed about to burst. Michonne looked back at Ella who had returned to fawning over Carl and wondered if she should share the good news about the baby with Ella but decided to wait. They had not even told Carl yet, and she had yet to officially confirm the pregnancy with her doctor. Then she realized that she would need to find a doctor in King County. It would make little sense to drive to Atlanta for all her future doctor's appointments. Michonne put that on her mental list of things to do in the very near future.

By Saturday afternoon, the farm was packed with people.

"Mama, where did all these extra kids come from?" Rick asked as parents pulled up with their children who all appeared to be Carl's age.

Carl's class in Atlanta had about twenty kids. There was easily double that already.

"Well Rick, I figured why not invite kids his age from the elementary school here. They can meet Carl so he can make some friends now instead of that awkward first day of school when he won't know anybody. And since Carl and Michonne are moving officially at the end of the month, Carl will have some kids to play with over the summer," Ella informed, and Rick nodded.

"We planned to sign Carl up at the recreation center this summer to meet some of them, and also to play summer league baseball, but this works too," Rick smiled at his mother's ingenious idea and kissed her on the cheek.

"Shane and Lori coming?" Ella asked and Rick blew out a small breath.

"Just Shane. Lori is on bedrest in Manville with her parents and Shane commutes back and forth. She has pre-eclampsia and Shane didn't want her alone while he was working all day, especially with a four-year-old running around. But Shane said Lori still feels weird about sitting and socializing with Michonne, and to be honest Michonne and I feel the same way about it too. It's uncomfortable. Weird," Rick shrugged, and Ella nodded.

"Well, I'm glad she is getting the rest she needs and staying off her feet. Why are you comfortable with Shane and not with Lori and vice versa?" Ella asked surprised that Shane seemed to have no issues with Rick.

"Well I guess because we go back a long-time mama, and after talking it through, it felt just like when we were friends before it all happened. Brothers. I don't know how to explain it," Rick tried to answer but realistically, he and Shane had no clue why there was no awkwardness between them, "I think it will just take time for Lori and all of us to be around each other and feel okay about it."

Ella thought she would have a chat with Shane and Rick on how to best incorporate Lori into their lives with some degree of comfortability. Lori and Michonne could not avoid it forever either. Shane was part of the group, and that meant Lori was too.

"Well, time AND opportunity Rick. Shane hangs out with the group quite often. Has been over here more times than I can count. Lori has never been here once. You can have all the time in the world, but you need to create opportunities within that time for all four of you to be relaxed around each other," Ella advised soundly before walking off to see what Carl was up to at the petting zoo.

The birthday party was a roaring success and Carl running around in his little overalls was the cutest thing Michonne had ever seen. The theme was, of course, FARM LIVING, and most of the invitees were encouraged to dress the part. There were two distinct parent groups. Those from Carl's school in Atlanta and those from King County Elementary. Most of the children got along like gangbusters whether they were new implants to King County Elementary, from Piedmont Elementary, or OG King County children. The parents were an interesting mix also. The OG's dress was more natural and relaxed, easily fitting the theme. Michonne could tell the city parents from the OG parents by their designer overalls. The OG parents wore them plain like one would on a farm, the Atlanta parents dressed them up with accessories. But for the most part, everyone got along and was having a good time. Michonne, however, had some thoughts about a particular group of parents that were in attendance and rolled her eyes.

"Look at those tricks over there staring at you Rick like you were a damn snack to nibble on," Michonne uttered then sucked her teeth.

Rick turned from the Bar-B-Que pit to look in the direction she was pointing at with her chin. Rick furrowed his brows when the five women all pretended to turn their gazes in the opposite direction at the same time. Rick focused back on the meat.

"Tricks Michonne? Really?" Rick laughed at his fiancé's description of the women at the table.

"Those are the PTA bitches. The rest of us parents hated going to meetings because of them. They thought they ran shit. When I enrolled Carl, they all looked down on me. They thought I was a twenty-four-year-old, low class single mother who was promiscuous and had Carl as a teen," Michonne spat remembering how she was so easily misjudged.

"Well other than the low-class part, the rest of that was true Michonne," Rick chuckled and Michonne slapped him on his shoulder.

"Anyway, I shut them bitches down when I told them I was an attorney. I mean, I was still studying for the bar, but still," Michonne admitted, "after I passed the bar and got the job at the firm, my first purchase was some very expensive red bottom shoes. I wore them to the next PTA meeting dressed to the nines and when those hoes saw me strut in, their eyes bugged out," Michonne chuckled, "After that, they treated me better. It was fake though. They went from feeling superior to me to feeling inferior. I made sure of that! I LOVED IT! I rubbed it in their hoe faces and only talked and sat with the other parents they looked down on too. They HATED THAT!"

"Now they are bitches and hoes Michonne?" Rick laughed and flipped the burgers over.

"Yes Rick. Tricks, Bitches, and Hoes. Anyway, they are over there drooling over you. One of the other parents that I'm friendly with told me those gossiping front office hussies at the school told everybody how fine my man was after we picked up Carl from school that day, and that hussy over there was asking if we were a couple," Michonne uttered as she evil eyed the PTA President.

"Hussy's Michonne? And are you going to show me how fine I am tonight? It's been a while!" Rick chuckled.

"Yes, hussies Rick! And how can I show you with Carl sleeping with us?" Michonne reminded and Rick sucked his teeth.

"We can sneak off behind the barn again," Rick suggested and Michonne shook her head and ignored her fiancé.

"Look at that tramp with that ugly ruffle blouse under her overalls. She is married and licking her lips at you like you were her meal. She only came to gawk at you I bet," Michonne uttered rolling her eyes.

"Tramp Michonne?" Rick repeated with a laugh and Michonne finally turned to confront her fiancé.

"Why are you doing that Rick? Tricks Michonne? Hoes Michonne? Tramps Michonne?" Michonne mocked Rick's tone and accent with her arms folded defensively across her chest.

"I don't sound like that, and I was just trying to stay interested in something that neither of us should care about," Rick chuckled and Michonne shook her head and walked off.

"MICHONNE! COME BACK!" Rick grinned and watched her fake a smile with the very same group of women she was just talking ugly about.

"What was that about," Darryl asked as he looked at the burgers, "Will there be manly meat for the adults?"

"My guess would be that Michonne is over there being petty, and yes, I got brisket and ribs on the smoker," Rick answered, "Mama made some beans and potato salad too."

"Good. And yeah, those are the terrible women from Carl's school. Michonne came home one day talking about fighting them all. It was funny until Sasha started taking off her earrings like it was actually gonna happen. I had to talk them both down and go to the next damn PTA meeting so they wouldn't start shit," Darryl laughed and shook his head at the memory.

"Y'all over here talking about those lusty women at that table? Your wife," Abe laughed pointing at Darryl," said if she was not eight months pregnant, she would, and I quote, 'slap a bitch' and Rosita was talking Spanish real fast, I did not catch all the words. But the gist was she would fuck a bitch up too."

Darryl and Rick both fell into a fit of laughter.

"Michonne said they keep looking at me like I am a snack," Rick laughed, "She called them hoes and hussies. I bet Michonne is over there threatening them. Look at her pointing her finger at the one with the short bob haircut," Rick watched amusedly, and Darryl and Abe got in on the fun.

"Look a here, you better fix your eyes to stare over at them chickens instead of my boyfriend before I slap your eyelids swollen with your ugly bob haircut ass," Abe imitated in a female voice.

"I can look at your man if I want too! I'm head of the PTA and my eyes do as they please!" Darryl responded in a similar high-pitched voice when he saw the lady say something to Michonne.

"Yeah, you are the head of the PTA! The Puta's, Thots, and Ass-Lickers," Abe responded and all three got to laughing again.

"What's a THOT?" Rick asked confused.

"I have no clue, but when Rosita calls somebody that, it don't sound complimentary," Abe answered with a grin.

"Well, Michonne thinks those THOTS only came to ogle me because they think I'm FINE," Rick stated proudly.

"They think all of us are fine. The one with the checkered shirt brushed my butt when she passed by me at parent pick up the last time I picked up Carl. I moved the hell away from her real quick. If Sasha finds out, this whole party bout to be shut down," Darryl whispered as he looked to make sure Sasha was far enough away not to have heard him.

Rick, Darryl, and Abe all looked over at the PTA table and when one of the tramps subtly winked their way, all three turned their back to the floozies with a quickness and changed the subject.

"So, guess who is ninety percent likely to be moving down here soon," Abe continued as he gulped his beer and peeked at his two friends over the bottle.

"Really," Darryl grinned.

"Yeah, Rosie is gonna finish her 1st year residency in Atlanta, then in November we will move here, and she will complete her last two years with the ME here after the holidays. After that, the old man is gonna turn the reigns over to her," Abe grinned, "I got a job as a paramedic with the fire station. I start in January too. We are gonna come back next weekend and take a look at the new home builds, and either purchase one, or have one built and live here on the Farm until it's done. Ms. Ella already offered."

"Welcome to King County! By the time you come, Michonne and I will be in our own home, so who cares," Rick laughed and that got the men to laughing all over again.

"Sasha and I will have moved out too, so there will be plenty of room," Darryl added.

"Well, we will see. Like I said, we might find a house we like already built," Abe answered, and they all nodded, "and Rosie is pregnant. Don't tell her I told you!"

"Michonne is too," Don't tell her I told you either!" Rick grinned.

"MICHONNE IS PREGNANT!" Ella shouted and Rick's eyes got big as he looked over to Michonne who had her eyes narrowed at him, "I KNEW IT!"

"Mama," Rick exasperated and placed his finger on the bridge of his nose when he saw Michonne, Sasha, Rosita, Andrea, and Mrs. Letty walk over.

"RICK!" Michonne exclaimed but Rick saw the humor on her face and smiled.

"I couldn't help it, especially hearing that Rosita is pregnant!" Rick tattled trying to get the heat off himself by throwing Abe under the bus.

"ABE!" Rosita shouted.

"RICK!" Abe yelled.

Darryl could not stop laughing.

"In case nobody knew, Sasha is pregnant too!" Darryl acknowledged which got them all to laughing.

"Rick, you need to hurry and marry Michonne. You can't just keep getting her pregnant out of wedlock!" Ella exclaimed.

"Well, we are moving up the wedding to June," Michonne grinned, and Rick kissed her on the cheek.

"June it is," Rick smiled and flipped the burgers again, "And if you can manage not to change anymore on the house, we can finally move in around the same time. We will go on Monday and see the timeline."

Rick was happy. Life could not get any better than this. Well almost. Rick hoped the family therapy would help Carl become readjusted. Michonne too. And it seemed to be working already. Dr. Cloyd was a miracle worker and it seemed Carl's counselor was right. Rick looked over at Carl and he noticed his son was having fun. He was not lingering around the adults like before. Rick supposed it was too much fun going on and counted his blessings. Michonne began actively controlling her own fears so as to not spread them to Carl. That was a plus too.

"Where's Shane?" Darryl asked, looking around for their missing friend, "he was supposed to be here an hour ago."

Rick pulled out his phone and called Shane, no answer. He called the sheriff's station, and Leon told Rick Shane bolted out of the station a few hours ago and has not heard from him since. Rick relayed the message to the group and tried to call Shane one more time. No answer. Rick was worried. A few hours later, after the party was officially over, the close-knit group was sitting out enjoying a few beers. Carl was in the room asleep, tuckered out, and the ladies were inside having their own social time.

"Still no Shane?" Abe asked as he chugged back the last of the liquid in the bottle.

"No, I'm starting to get worried," Rick stated and pulled out his phone to text his friend again.

"Do you have Lori's number?" Darryl asked and Rick looked at him incredulously.

"According to Michonne, she wishes I would have Lori's phone number saved in my phone," Rick chuckled, "And I don't have her parent's number either. After she left, I deleted all her contact information. Shane's too back then for that matter," Rick admitted, "I wonder if Hershel is still up."

Rick texted Hershel and a few minutes later the Sheriff walked out to the back porch.

"You are too lazy to get up and walk inside the house? I was sitting on the couch! You young people and your technology," Hershel shook his head.

"You are young people Hershel; you are only fifty-one. Why do you love to act older than you are? I swear your hair is going gray so fast that I think you are actually dying it. And If you wear those suspenders again, I am going to get a pair of scissors and cut them off!" Ella hollered as she walked behind her brother to see what they were all up to.

"Ella, you can't tell me what to do and what to wear," Hershel insisted, and Ella rolled her eyes and walked back inside the house.

"What do you need Rick?" Hershel asked once Ella was back inside the house.

"Have you heard from Shane?" Rick asked and Hershel looked deep in thought.

"No, not since he left the station in a hurry. I was right behind him. I thought he was rushing to get here," Hershel admitted, "He never showed up?"

"No, and he ain't answering our calls either," Rick stated worriedly, "You think something happened with Lori? Maybe he went to Manville?"

"Let me call the Manville Sherriff and find out," Hershel uttered and walked back into the house to find his phone.

Hershel put in a call, and there were no emergency calls involving Shane or Lori in Manville, but they would reach out to the family.

At 2am, Rick's phone rang, and he quickly reached for it to not wake Michonne, or Carl. Rick wondered if Carl would have been able to sleep in the den alone, but with Rosita and Abe occupying the den, Rick did not get the chance to find out.

"Hello, Shane?" Rick answered as he walked out of the bedroom and stood in the hallway.

"Yeah," Shane answered, and Rick thought it sounded like Shane was crying.

Rick immediately knew something was terribly wrong.