As soon as I said I wanted to finish this in three weeks out loud, the universe laughed and then allowed me no time to edit a single chapter until yesterday and I just finished…smh…so let's just play the next four chapters by ear…lol
FYI—When I wrote this chapter back in January…I tried to force it to go a happier direction and it turned out awkward and cringe and I knew it would eventually leave a friendship between two characters so uncomfortable that it would have slowly faded away (which I did not want) so I deleted the whole first half and started again…then I tried to force a middle ground but that did not work either and the friendships felt off and forced and weird so I deleted it again….When I wrote the first half this final revision, it felt right which was sad because it was what not what I originally wanted for the character. I wanted a happy ending for her, however, the story demanded different, and end of the day, it kind of aligned to the show. I just wanted readers to know that I actually liked the character and wanted better for her, but…
So, Let's Carry On!
Chapter 16- Nothing We Can Do About It But Move Forward
"What's wrong brother?" Rick asked as he stepped worriedly down the stairs and into the kitchen.
"Lori went into early labor. She wasn't due for another two and a half months, but she started cramping and bleeding. I got a call at work before the party and high-tailed to Manville. Sorry I missed Carl's party. They couldn't stop the bleeding, Rick," Shane began to sob uncontrollably, "They let her bleed to death Rick. They killed her!" Shane wailed through the phone.
Rick closed his eyes in disbelief.
"Where are you right now? I'm coming to you," Rick asked crying his own tears as he mourned the sudden and horrific death of Lori.
Rick thought about his mother's advice to design situations that would welcome Lori into the fold and Rick was saddened that he would not get the opportunity. Lori was a good woman caught in a bad situation, just like he was, and Rick felt guilty for not doing more to make Lori feel comfortable within the group. Rick thought there would be more time and his mind was spinning with scenarios. What if he had created more occasions to involve his ex-wife? Would Lori have stayed in King County and used the group as a support system while she was on bedrest? And if so, would the King County doctors have done a better job of saving her life? With all the growth, there were several new, high quality medical professionals at King County Hospital that might have been better prepared to treat Lori's condition with the latest techniques. Rick shook off his guilt and stopped his pity party and focused back on Shane.
"I'm holding my boy, Rick. He is so tiny. You tell Michonne I named him huckleberry okay," Shane chuckled as he wiped the tears rushing down his face, "She will know what I mean."
"Shane, where are you?" Rick asked again as he made his way back upstairs to get dressed, "You at Manville Hospital?"
"He ain't make it either Rick. My boy died too," Shane moaned, and Rick had to sit down on the stairs at the news that his brother lost both is wife and son at the same time.
Michonne wandered out of the room and was concerned to see a tearful Rick sitting on the steps with his head hung low. She sat beside him, and Rick pulled Michonne close, immediately thinking about his own baby that Michonne was carrying.
"Shane, where are you?" Rick asked again as he wiped away his tears and this time Shane answered.
"I am sitting in the operating room with Lori and the baby in Manville Rick. They wouldn't let me in at first, but I needed to see em so I barged my way in. They wanna take my boy and my wife. They killed em, and now they wanna take em away from me. I ain't gonna let them," Shane shouted angrily, and Rick got up and went into the bedroom followed by Michonne at his heels.
"I am on my way Shane. Ok. I am on my way," Rick repeated and whispered to Michonne to call the Manville hospital and let them know to leave Shane be and his brother was on the way to help.
Michonne nodded and picked up her phone and searched for the Manville County Hospital, then dialed the number. After speaking to the rattled nurse, she pulled on her jeans and t-shirt and told Rick she was going too. She was not going to let her tired, distraught fiancé drive to Manville at 2am in the morning alone. Once dressed, Michonne scurried down the hall and knocked on Ella's door.
"What's going on? Is Carl all right?" Ella anxiously asked as she stepped out into the hallway after noticing Rick had been crying, "RICK! WHAT'S WRONG?"
Ella's holler woke up Darryl and Sasha across the hall, and they scrambled out into the hallway too. Michonne checked on Carl and he was thankfully still out like a light. The birthday party tuckered him out. Michonne was grateful that Carl did not seem to be tossing and turning in a nightmare, and instead seemed to be in a deep, dreamless slumber.
"What's wrong," Sasha repeated worriedly.
"Lori died and so did the baby. Michonne and I are going over to Manville Hospital now," Rick explained to the shocked group.
"Oh Rick," Ella replied sorrowfully, and Rick went to hug her.
"Ella, will you do me a favor and stay with Carl? He is knocked out, but just in case, I don't want him to wake up alone. I don't know how he would react to that," Michonne requested, and Ella nodded.
"Of course I will," Ella replied and walked into the room with Carl.
"Oh Ella! One more thing. If Carl wakes up, ask him if he had a dream and what he remembers. If he did, write it down in the batman journal on the bedside table please. His words only," Michonne requested, and Ella nodded at the strange request.
By the time Rick and Michonne made it to the hospital, the staff were anxiously pacing back and forth in front of the OR that was being guarded by security. One of the nurses relayed her hope that Rick could help remove Shane from the operating room so they could finish getting Lori and her baby cleaned up and moved down to the morgue. Rick had a different idea and once the nurse agreed, he nodded at the security guard and moved past him into the room. The first thing Rick noticed was Lori laid there under a sheet like she was asleep. Rick was so distraught at the sight that he had to avert his eyes. Rick focused on Shane who was sitting on the floor holding his son and went to join him. Rick wordlessly sat on the floor beside his brother and placed his arm across Shane's shoulders and allowed him to cry. Shane was still holding Sawyer, the name Lori loved the most, and Rick could not bring himself to look. After five minutes had passed, Rick finally broke the silence.
"Shane, let's let the nurses come in and get Lori and the baby cleaned. They agreed to put them in a regular room so that you and her parents can sit with her and the baby for a while and say your goodbyes," Rick begged, and Shane gazed at Rick and nodded.
Rick lifted from the floor and walked to the door signaling for the nurses to come inside. One carefully took the baby from Shane, while another tended to Lori. Rick and Shane followed another nurse to an empty hospital room on a lower floor. Michonne was sitting in the lobby with whom she assumed was Lori's anguished parents after recognizing a sleeping Vivian in Lori's father's lap. Michonne received a text from Rick telling her he was able to get Shane into a private room and the room number.
"Mr. and Mrs. Wayne?" Michonne asked and when they nodded, she gave them the information and they followed her to the third floor, "I am so sorry for your loss. I am Rick's fiancé," Michonne uttered through a few tears on the elevator ride up.
Lori's parents were out of it, both in a daze. The only indication that Michonne knew she was heard was because they each gave Michonne the slightest gesture of understanding. It seems nodding was all they could do under the circumstances. Thirty minutes later, a nurse informed them they were preparing to bring Lori and Sawyer into the room. Michonne noticed Mr. and Mrs. Wayne look anxiously at a sleeping Vivian.
"I am going to go and wait just outside the room. If you want, I can watch Vivian," Michonne offered, and they looked at Michonne like they had never seen her before.
Lori's parents gazed at Rick, recollecting they had not seen or heard from him in almost four years. They looked back at Michonne then at each other reluctant to hand their granddaughter over. Hesitant to sever their only connection to their deceased only child. If Vivian woke up however, they did not want her to see her mother just yet and carefully handed the little girl over to Michonne.
"Thank you," Mr. Wayne stated with sincere gratitude and watched as the two ambled out of the room.
As Michonne was getting settled on the chair just outside the room, she noticed a gurney being pushed towards her. Michonne shut her watery eyes unable to look at the lifeless bodies of mother and child being wheeled in front of her and hugged a sleeping Vivian a little tighter. A few seconds later, she heard Lori's parents wail in sorrow for their departed child and grandson. Michonne heard Rick's cry too and his sadness broke her heart. Michonne felt her own guilt about not being more open with Lori. Like Rick, Michonne also thought there would be more time. An hour later, a morgue attendant was ready to take Lori and Sawyer and Shane, again, refused to let them go. It took a herculean effort to finally get Shane to let go of his boy and allow Lori and Sawyer to be taken down to the cold basement. It was devastating to watch.
It was after 8am on Sunday morning by the time Rick and Michonne made it back to the farm, and everyone was up waiting for them to return with news. Ella had cooked breakfast, but few could eat more than a bite of toast with their coffee. After Rick shared what happened, it was a solemn morning as they all packed to return to Atlanta.
"Are you okay with the plan Michonne?" Rick asked and Michonne blew out a breath and nodded.
"Yes, I have to let you go at some point," Michonne laughed nervously and when Rick furrowed his brow she smiled, "You know what I mean."
"I drive us back to Atlanta. Carl will attempt to start the evening sleeping in his own room, but we leave the door open for him to come in with us if needed. Then I come back to King County tomorrow morning. You sure you are okay with that? With me going to work Monday through Wednesday before I come back to the condo Wednesday evening?" Rick asked anxiously.
"Yes Rick, I'm sure," Michonne grinned and gave Rick a peck on the lips, "If I need you, I will call. I promise, besides, you need to be here for Shane too."
"We can play it by ear Michonne. I will come up earlier if you need me too," Rick stated and then blew out another breath, "And Carl's nightmares? And being clingy. Maybe it's better for me to be there for that?"
"That would defeat the purpose," Michonne answered, and Rick nodded, "Carl and I are working through that clinginess. We will be okay Rick. Carl and I need to do this for ourselves."
"Mama said Carl didn't dream, or at least he don't remember if he did. Maybe it's over?" Rick wondered but Michonne looked skeptical.
Sunday evening, Rick tucked Carl into his bed, kissed his forehead, and prayed his son's nightmares were over. Michonne followed suit and Carl requested they leave his door open. Carl slept soundly in his room for most of the night and did not join his parents until he suddenly awoke with a start at 3am. Carl climbed in between his parents and Michonne noted the time. Michonne grabbed the journal and asked Carl what woke him up. Carl looked hesitantly at his father who was snoring, and then back at his mother.
"I dreamed that those men tried to kill you like they killed grandpa. And that man that had me tried to take me away, but Dad turned into a wolf and killed the man. But Dad never turned back into a man, and he ran away. And when I looked back, you and everyone else had turned into wolves too and ran away. I tried to run after you, but you all were too fast, and I stopped and was alone in the woods and it was dark. And I heard you all howling, and I kept trying to find you, but I couldn't. I just kept hearing you howl. I thought I would never see you all again and that I lost my mom and my dad forever. I thought I could not turn into a wolf because I was not brave. I was crying while all of you were fighting. All I did was cry. And I tried hard, but I could not howl and turn into a wolf like the rest of you," Carl wept and laid his head on Michonne's chest.
"Oh Carl," Michonne muttered through her tears, "You are stuck with me kid. I am never, ever leaving you. Ever. Your dad isn't either. Or Darryl or Rosita, or any of us. Ok?"
Michonne got up and took Carl to the kitchen to fix him some warm milk with chocolate and marshmallows on top as Carl now likes to reference the drink. She was anxious that they did not have another therapy session until four days from then in order to give them time to finish their tasks. Michonne decided to call Dr. Cloyd later in the morning to update her on Carl's nightmare just in case the information might be important. Michonne then wondered if it might be for the best if Rick stayed in Atlanta but dismissed the idea and decided to stick to the plan. She and Carl only had another two weeks of school and work before they both officially moved. Michonne wondered if she should hold off on the sale of her Condo in case the family needed more therapy sessions. They would need a place to stay if they did and she knew the condo would sell immediately just like Dixon's unit did. The residential building was a hot commodity, and her home had already increased exponentially in value. Michonne decided to make a final decision after the Thursday morning appointment and after she discussed it with Rick. When she told Rick about Carl's dream the next morning he was concerned.
"You could have woken me up. I would have talked to Carl with you," Rick said solemnly.
"I know Rick. I just wanted to let him get it all out. And I don't think he wanted you to know just yet. I think he feels embarrassed. Carl made sure you were asleep before he told me. I promised him I would let him tell you about it when he was ready, so please Rick, when he does, pretend you don't know, Ok?" Michonne requested calmly, and Rick nodded but she could tell he did not understand why she left him out of the conversation.
Rick decided to follow Michonne's lead and let them process their feelings in their own way until the next therapy session.
"Ok," Rick uttered reluctantly.
"Come on. Let's get dressed. We need to leave in half an hour to get Carl to school on time and you need to get on the road," Michonne smiled but feeling a little remorseful that Rick felt left out.
Rick was reluctant to leave for King County, but Michonne insisted that he go. Rick was at work in his office doing paperwork when Michonne sent a text asking if he was available at 6pm. Rick rushed to call her back.
"You need me to come down?" Rick asked ready to hit the highway at the drop of a dime.
"No, I talked with Dr Cloyd, and she suggested we talk about the dream today. She is willing to make a virtual appointment at 6pm this evening if you are available," Michonne inquired.
"Yes, of course. I get off right at six, so that will be perfect. I will be in my office," Rick stated and hung up the phone anxious to help his son.
"So in the grand scheme of things, it was good that Carl dreamed you were wolves. A wolf is a symbol of strong family ties, guardianship, loyalty. So out of all the animals Carl could have turned his family into, wolves are a good sign and the fact that Carl was willing to talk about it with both of you is also a good sign," Denise informed as she spoke to Rick and Michonne through the computer screen while Carl was in his room.
Rick, Michonne, and Dr. Cloyd were on a video call Monday evening discussing Carl's dreams that he was able to aptly describe to Michonne first, then Rick. When Michonne picked up her son from school, Carl expressed he was ready to tell his father.
"Well, Carl didn't want to talk to me about it at first, but he called me a couple of hours ago and asked he if could tell me about it," Rick amended, "I'm thinking it was about the crying part. He seemed embarrassed to tell me about that part. I told him that crying was ok, and that I cry all the time too and it was nothing to be ashamed of. Hell, if I wasn't crying, I was fainting," Rick chuckled, "I just wanted to let you know all the facts Dr. Cloyd."
"Ok, well that's good that Carl decided to tell you about his dream, even if it was a little later than telling his mother. I am so glad you talked about how you cry too. And faint," Dr. Cloyd laughed, "I bet that made him feel much better about it. I will discuss it with him privately on Thursday and then we can process it as a group," Dr. Cloyd informed as she wrote down notes in her tablet.
Michonne sat at the kitchen table with her headphones on because she knew her little sneaky son was probably trying to listen from the hallway.
"So that's good news. But where do we go from here?" Rick asked worriedly.
"First, know that the wolf is how Carl unconsciously feels about you both, and also his whole family, that he feels protected by all of you," Denise started her evaluation.
"Ok," Rick and Michonne uttered at the same time.
"I believe that his dream is more indicative about how he feels about himself. Given the background you shared with me about Carl's upbringing and his disconnect and reconnection with you Rick, and his protectiveness with you Michonne, I can see how Carl believes he should act older than he is. He grew up differently and that is perfectly fine. But Carl associated being afraid and crying during the kidnapping with being childlike and cowardly, much different than how he views the adults that surround him as brave and heroic. Like superheroes even. I think Carl just needs to be reminded, just like you already did Rick, that crying is a normal reaction, being afraid is a normal feeling, for an adult or child, and crying is a healthy way to process emotions," Denise explained to the uneasy parents.
"But I wasn't brave either! I did what I did…," Rick paused as if he was still trying to wrap his head around his actions, "I bit that man's throat out because I was scared shitless of what could have happened if I didn't. There was no thought to it, or no brave heroic action. I just did it. It was pure animal instinct to protect what was mine," Rick stated frustratedly.
"I know that, and you two know that, but Carl does not. Rick, I know you don't want to talk about that moment, but you need to sit with Carl and let him know how you felt. Not why you did it, Carl already knows that, but HOW YOU FELT about doing it. How scared you were. I think he needs something to relate to," Denise advised, "Because Carl's fears are not about you leaving him. I'm sure he knows you are in his life forever, but rather it's about you thinking he is not brave like you are."
"I can verify that Rick, because I think I needed to hear that you were scared too," Michonne admitted, and Rick wished he were there in person to hug her, "I felt useless out there, Rick. I was terrified and it brought back old memories of…" Michonne started then stopped abruptly with watery eyes, "but watching how you were able to protect our son when I could not, it…"
"Ok. I know I am not supposed to come down until Wednesday evening, but I think I need to come down tomorrow so we can have a talk about all of it Michonne. Not just Carl's issues about what happened, but our own issues too. Is that ok?" Rick asked hopefully.
"Yes. I think we all need to get everything out in the open," Michonne admitted, "I am better now but there is still a part of me that feels something is always about to happen."
"Michonne something is always going to happen, but we can't be the ones to make it happen because of our fears or always hiding our emotions," Rick advised and Michonne took a breath and agreed.
"Good. Here is your homework. Each of you talk to each other about your issues first, and don't worry about how they affect Carl. This is about each of you personally. We will unpack it all in our session on Thursday. Call my office if you need anything otherwise. I will see you on Thursday at 7am," Denise reminded before logging off.
Rick and Michonne stayed on for a little while longer.
"I will come down tomorrow evening after my shift. Everybody but Shane is back, so staffing wise, it is not a problem," Rick informed and Michonne thought for a minute.
"Rick, you are coming Wednesday evening anyway. You don't have to take time off from work again," Michonne offered, and Rick shook his head.
"No Michonne, You and I need to talk about our issues first so our session will be productive, and it might take us more than one night to do it. I don't want any more interruptions to our progress Michonne. I am ready for us to carry on with our lives and be mentally healthy. I am ready for that, and I know you are too. I hear the whispers about what I did, and I need to stop ignoring them, stop refusing to talk about it. And you need to do the same," Rick uttered and waited for Michonne's response.
Michonne nodded and changed the subject which made Rick frustrated. Michonne was not quite as ready to discuss the trauma of her past attack as Rick was more than willing to talk about his bite-neck issues. Michonne needed a change of subject for a bit. She needed time to prepare herself to go back to when she was nineteen and attacked in that dark alley.
"How is Shane?" Michonne asked Rick.
"He is still in Manville with Lori's parents. He took off for the next couple of weeks and will probably stay there for a bit. I talked to him a few times, but he is spaced out. I simply can't imagine," Rick paused thinking of his family before shaking the scariness off, "The funeral is on Saturday. You still coming?"
"Yes, I want to be there to support him. You think his parents will show up?" Michonne asked.
"He don't even know where they are anymore. After he left for Alabama, his father disappeared. They lost touch. Shane thinks he is probably strung out somewhere or dead. After what Shane did and lost to protect him, for that asshole to just throw it in his face like that and leave him, it ain't right," Rick answered with both anger and empathy.
"And his mother?" Michonne asked.
"Shane sent for her to come to Alabama to live with him and Lori a few years ago, even sent a plane ticket. She sent him a letter and told him she needed to start over. Her life was a mess and she needed to be free. She cashed in the plane ticket he bought for her, and used the money to disappear just like his father did," Rick muttered with distaste, "has not heard from her since either."
"Well, he has us," Michonne uttered, and Rick nodded.
"He does," Rick agreed.
After they disconnected, Michonne made dinner, and played a few board games with Carl before moving to I DECLARE WAR and then it was time for Carl's shower and bedtime. Carl repeated the same actions as the night before, and Michonne pulled back the covers in the middle of the night and snuggled with her son.
After Rick came down Tuesday evening, it seemed a weight was lifted from his shoulders. Rick was very open about his feelings and Carl felt relieved that he was not the only one afraid. Michonne shared how terrified she was then called Darryl, who told Carl that he had never been so scared in his life. Michonne hung up on Abe after he told Carl his testicles were shivering in his tighty whiteys and Carl giggled at his Uncle's language shenanigans. After they put Carl to bed, Rick wanted to talk about something that had been on the back of his mind for a while. Something that was holding Michonne back and needed to be released so she could fully heal too.
"Michonne, like Dr. Cloyd said, open communication is the key. Are you ready to tell me about the attack?" Rick asked as she sat on the edge of the bed.
"Rick, not tonight. We just fixed your problem, can we do mine tomorrow?" Michonne asked tiredly.
"It's not a problem to fix Michonne. It happened in the past. It's a story to tell, process your feelings about it, and to hopefully move on from. This might be tied to everything else you have been feeling. You need to do this for Carl, but mostly yourself," Rick explained and Michonne raised her eyebrow.
"Oh, so now you are a licensed therapist after only three sessions with Dr. Cloyd?" Michonne bit harshly and Rick blew out a breath of frustration.
"No, but I would like to think I know you. If you want, we can have a session with Denise to talk about it, with or without me. But I think you need to talk about what happened to you, soon." Rick uttered and walked up behind her as she bowed her head at the sink.
"I just prefer not to talk about what happened, I'm fine!" Michonne exasperated and avoided eye contact with Rick in the mirror.
"Are you?" Rick asked incredulously, "Michonne, after that mess with Joe, you seem to be hesitant to stay here alone. To go anywhere alone. I think it might be connected to what happened before, and Carl is picking up on it.
"So what's happening with Carl is all my fault!" Michonne hollered defensively.
Rick turned Michonne around to face him and pulled her into a tight hug.
"Of course not. But we are both connected to it. My supposed bravery and refusing to acknowledge how I really felt after ripping a man's throat out with my teeth, Carl picked up on it. I had to get blood tests to make sure I didn't catch nothing. You know how terrified I was waiting on the results. I'm actually surprised Joe was as healthy as he was, thank God. But there is no blame, it just is, Michonne. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but just know I'm here if you need to get it out. But it needs to come out. It's festering. At least tell Dr. Cloyd until you feel comfortable enough to tell me about it," Rick offered putting Michonne's emotional state before his need to know the details of what happened.
"I do feel comfortable talking to you, Rick. More than comfortable. I love you and you are right. I do need to talk about this with you. You are my partner. The love of my life. My soulmate. And I should talk this through with you first. So Ok. I'm not ready, but like you said, it is what it is, so let's get on with it," Michonne uttered deciding to spill about all that happened to her that night and get it done.
Michonne only told Darryl and Sasha a piece of the story, they got the majority of it from Jesus, and he only knew the part of the attack that he personally witnessed. Afterwards, Michonne waved her attack off preferring to focus on the outcome of the event, and not the attack itself. To keep her sanity for Carl's sake, Michonne blocked the experience from her mind and placed it in a little lockbox that has been slowly growing mold ever since. Michonne was quiet for a few minutes as she remembered back to the night of the attack.
"I thought he was going to kill me," Michonne started and immediately began crying, "I was so scared, and I felt useless. And when Carl was taken, I felt the exact same way I did that night. I was terrified, but I did not want to feel useless again, that's why I got my sword and went with you. But when that man was holding Carl, and they all had their guns on us I…." Michonne stopped to gather her thoughts, "And that disgusting piece of shit, I saw his look. I knew what he wanted to do with my son, and I felt helpless to stop it just like I felt helpless that night," Michonne cried, and Rick turned her around and hugged her tight.
"That's enough for tonight Michonne. I didn't realize just how much…," Rick started but Michonne shook her head.
"No, you wanted talk about it, so let me finish," Michonne uttered as she moved past Rick and walked into the bedroom, "God, I wish I could have a little wine to take the edge off."
"You have me to take the edge off," Rick smiled then sat down on the chair in the corner of the bedroom and pulled Michonne onto his lap.
Michonne leaned into Rick and started the story she had never fully told anyone.
When Michonne was well into her second undergraduate year at the University of Virginia, she was in the library studying for a major exam. She looked up at the time and noticed it was after 10pm, and she panicked.
"Carl! Shit!" Michonne exclaimed then checked her phone and noticed Darryl had called her several times and called him back immediately.
"Hello, Michonne. You, okay?" Darryl asked anxiously as he rocked a two-year-old Carl back to sleep.
"Hey Darryl. Sorry! I had my phone on silent. I am on my way. Time got away from me," Michonne explained as she gathered her books into her bookbag.
"Me and Carl were just about to come looking for ya," Darryl informed with a chuckle.
"I will be there in ten minutes. I'm just across campus," Michonne informed and hung up once Darryl was satisfied that she was okay.
As Michonne was rushing out of the library, she was so focused on feeling terrible about leaving her son longer than she meant to and trying to rush back to Carl as fast as she could, she was not paying attention to her surroundings. Eager to rush back to the family dormitory as quickly as possible, she took a shortcut that she had taken many times before when the area was full of people during daylight hours. That little alley was well traveled and prevented many a student from having to walk around the entire library to get to the back of it. However, at 10pm at night, that very dark, unlit alley was not the best choice. Halfway down the walkway, she heard a voice.
"Hey, you got a light beautiful?" The greasy creep inquired and Michonne immediately realized he was definitely out of place on the college campus.
Michonne's heckles were on high alert. He was a greasy, shifty local drug dealer who lurked onto the campus under the cover of night to deliver drugs to his small group of customers. Michonne took a few steps back, ready to run the way she came. She looked around for anyone she could run towards and all she saw was a single light flickering through the first-floor window of the recreation center two whole buildings away. Michonne cursed that campus security was nowhere to be seen and prayed they would make their rounds soon, or at least come close enough to hear her scream.
"No, no light. I don't smoke, sorry," Michonne uttered before she turned and took off running and so did the piece of filth who had very evil thoughts on what he wanted from Michonne that evening.
He caught her by her backpack and threw her against the brick wall and she fell to the ground.
"Why are you running? I just wanted a light. You did not have to be rude. Do you think you are better than me? Too good to have a simple conversation with me?" The foul drug dealer asked as Michonne tried to gather her wits.
"No, I…I don't. I just didn't have a light and I need to go, please," Michonne begged as she scooted back planning to use the wall to help inch herself up and onto to her feet.
"Well, since you don't have a light. What else do you have to offer me? Hmm?" The attacker asked disgustingly as he pulled Michonne by her leg back onto her back to block her efforts to stand.
The dirty criminal quickly straddled Michonne's legs to keep her from kicking. Michonne swung her fist and connected with his jaw, but from her laid out, awkward position, it did not have the strength to knock him off and only made him angry. He slapped Michonne and pulled out a knife.
"You either stay still, and let me have a taste, or you die, and I will still get my taste, your choice," the foulmouthed man chuckled and licked the side of her face as he tried to unbutton her jeans.
Michonne began to weep, and she tried screaming for help. Michonne shouted, and the attacker placed his hand over her mouth and told her to shut her mouth. He squeezed her cheeks with his hand forcing Michonne to purse her lips like a fish.
"I will be nice. We can start with a little kiss," the attacker chuckled and tried to kiss her lips, but Michonne turned her head and screamed for help again.
Michonne mind was filled with images of Carl, and it got her adrenaline pumping. Carl was already without a father, Michonne was not going to leave her son without a mother too. Never. Michonne chose to fight because she knew that criminal was going to kill her either physically or mentally and she needed to be one hundred percent for her son, so giving up was not an option.
"GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!" Michonne yelled and began to furiously fend the attacker off, kicking and screaming until she felt her throat turn dry and sore.
Michonne used her nails and scratched him deeply along the side of his face, and the attacker was livid and punched Michonne so hard she saw stars. The heavily breathing, exhausted assailant pinned her arms and crawled further up Michonne, sitting on her torso and used his legs to keep hers from kicking. He realized that he trapped himself, as each of his limbs were in use in a desperate effort to keep Michonne still. The attacker paused for a minute wondering whether to give up and run or keep up the assault. But he was pissed and wanted her to suffer. Unable to use his hands, the piece of shit gave Michonne a headbutt that almost knocked her out.
"I got you now you stupid bitch. You should have just shut your mouth and let me fuck you like a good little whore, but no, you want to fight. Now I have to hurt you too," The attacker laughed then winced at the sting from the scratches on his face.
Michonne looked around and noticed the light in the recreation center was now turned off and she lost hope that anyone was going to help her. He reached to undo his belt, and that allowed Michonne to free her right hand. Michonne punched him the dick which caused him to fall to the side in pain and she scrambled to her feet and kicked him in his balls one more time to give her time to make it back out in the open. Michonne made it to the end of the alley before she felt herself being flung back by her short locs.
"Now I am going to kill you when I'm done," The attacker spat and punched her in her stomach so hard she felt like she was going to vomit.
Still weak from the double blow to his balls, the attacker struggled to sweep her legs, but managed to get Michonne returned onto her back.
"When I am done with you. I am going to cut that pretty face of yours up, just like you did mine bitch," The drug dealer spat in exhaustion.
He was tempted to take the loss, slit her throat, and go home and clean himself up, but her fighting back made him angry. The bloody scratches make in livid. The kick to the balls made him furious and he was going to make her pay heavily for it. Breathing hard and exhausted, he grabbed Michonne by the throat choking her and she felt his free hand move down to unbutton her jeans.
"STAY FUCKING STILL BI…!" The man yelled before being stuck hard on top of his head.
Michonne heard a crack and felt the attacker fall to the side of her. When she looked up, she saw Jesus. Michonne wondered if the attacker managed to kill her, and the Lord was bringing her home. She panicked and yelled our Carl's name, but once she saw the man do a round house kick to the attacker's head and knocking him completely out, she came to her senses. Michonne noticed a small group of women scurry around and two kicked the shit out of her attacker while the third called the police, and the last joined Jesus to help tend to her.
"You, okay?" Jesus asked as he and the lady helped Michonne up from the ground then the women helped Michonne pull up and button her jeans, "We just finished my self-defense class and i was just about to walk my students back to their dorm."
"Thank you. Thank you so much," Michonne cried, and she was shaking so hard Jesus had to hold her steady.
Michonne looked at Rick who was distraught.
"Michonne," Rick uttered feeling some degree of blame, "If I hadn't of..."
"Rick it was not your fault. It took me months to convince Darryl that it was not his either. He said he felt guilty that he did not come and get me like he wanted to, but with Carl being asleep and me telling him I was fine he stayed home. Darryl would not let me go anywhere without him at night for a long while," Michonne chuckled.
"What happened after Jesus called the police?" Rick asked, still holding Michonne tightly in his lap.
"The police came and arrested him. Michonne wiped away a tear, "After that, Darryl came running up with Carl when I never made it back. The officers insisted I go to the hospital, and Jesus drove me and Darryl. Hey checked me out, got a kit and took his skin from under my nails and did not blood tests. I hugged Carl so tightly the whole drive there and the whole drive back home. All I thought about was Carl. What would have happened to him if that man killed me. I testified a month later and I never saw that filth again, but it made me more cognizant of my surroundings and the time and of my time spent away at night. Which was hardly any unless Darryl was with me."
"And how did the swords happen?" Rick asked trying to control his anger for Michonne' sake.
Rick was already prepared to search the criminal database, find out who the man was, and kill him with his bare hands.
"Jesus made me take his self-defense class that he taught on campus. Sasha and Rosita too, but Rosita probably could have taught the class," Michonne laughed, "I was so desperate to always be able to protect myself that I took martial arts classes too. Then I took the swords for stress relief. Jesus recommended my trainer. Anyway, we all became good friends with Jesus and the rest is martial arts history," Michonne shrugged and just like she suspected, Rick was still blaming himself and he was taking it hard, "Rick, please. This is why I did not want to tell you."
"I just, Michonne I thought those eight years without you were hard for me, but I was being selfish because compared to all that you went through," Rich shook his head back and forth rapidly until Michonne placed her hand on his face and kissed him.
"I thought this was supposed to make me feel better, now both of us are distressed," Michonne laughed and kissed Rick again.
"I know," Rick smiled weakly, "I just not only missed a lot, but I caused a lot too,"
"Rick, the past has happened. There is nothing we can do about it but move forward just like you told me earlier. Telling that story, I realized that I am okay. Carl is okay. This baby is okay," Michonne grinned as Rick rubbed her belly tenderly, "What happened was not on you Rick. If we are going to move forward, you need to forgive yourself, Okay? And you were right. I do feel better after I let it all out."
Rick blew out a breath and nodded, but what Michonne was asking was easier said than done. It was something Rick was going to have to work on, but he promised himself right then and there, hugging the woman he loved and lost and found again, that he would do just that. He needed to, or his heart would never heal from what he allowed his father to convince him to do. Rick also determined that Paul "Jesus" Rovia was not only a friend, but family.
"I have never been one for therapy, but I think we may need a few more sessions. That Dr. Cloyd is addictive!" Rick teased.
"She is!" Michonne agreed and pulled Rick to the bed.
Rick pulled her close to him under the covers and raised her pajama top, but Michonne stopped him.
"Rick. Carl," Michonne reminded, and Rick drew in a breath of frustration, because their son came first.
"Right," Rick uttered and pulled her top back down and settled for cuddling for the night.
Carl joined them around 4am. Rick was thrilled that his son managed to sleep in his room for most of the night, but he sucked his teeth at the missed opportunity to fuck his fiancé. There was plenty of time for him to have done so, probably twice and still get almost a full night's sleep. Rick gave Carl a tiny bit of side-eye.
On Wednesday, while Carl was at school and Michonne was at work, Rick spent the day packing up the condo, stopping twice for lunch and a friendly visit with DEM STREETS. That evening Carl slept in his room the full time. Rick looked over at a sleeping Michonne and shook his head at his second sexy time loss. Michonne stretched and looked over for Carl and raised her brow.
"Did you put him back in his bed?" Michonne questioned.
"Nope, he never came in here. So you know what that means next time don't you?" Rick grinned and grabbed a handful of Michonne's ass.
After their Thursday morning, 7am session with Dr. Cloyd, they all agreed they had made major progress towards their mental health. On the way to drop Carl off at school, Rick received a call from Tara requesting to make up some shifts due to her being sick which allowed Rick to stay one more night. Rick was excited. In just under two weeks, there would be no more leaving his family for days on end. Friday morning, Carl made it two nights in a row sleeping in his own room. Rick was happy even though he got no sexy time with Michonne that trip.
"Michonne, come lock the door. I'm about to head out," Rick whispered quietly in his fiancé's ear.
"Use your key Rick!" Michonne spewed and placed the pillow over her head.
"No, I want you to walk me out," Rick grinned, "and give me some sugar all the way to the front door."
Rick picked Michonne up and her legs automatically wrapped around his waist. They kissed from the bedroom to the front door.
"I wish I had more time this morning," Rick uttered in annoyance, "I also wish I did not have to work today. I could have driven you to King County tomorrow and we could have all come back on Monday for the doctor's appointment. What time are you leaving tomorrow? The funeral is at 1pm."
"Abe and Rosita are going to Lori's funeral to support Shane. Carl and I will ride with them instead of driving down and we are all coming back Sunday morning," Michonne answered, and Rick nodded his head in approval at the last-minute change of plans.
"What time is the baby appointment on Monday? Rick asked Michonne.
"11am," Michonne answered still being held my Rick with her legs around his waist.
"After, we can do dirty things to each other until we have to pick up Carl from school," Rick suggested wiggling his eyebrows causing Michonne to laugh.
"I have to go back to work Rick," Michonne reminded.
"Michonne, I need you to take a half day or something. It has been a while since I have been all up in you and besides, you only have what, four more days left at work next week? Then Memorial Day weekend and then Tuesday you are done. Right?" Rick asked for clarification.
"Almost. My last day is the end of the week after Memorial Day. Carl is going to stay in King County, and I will come back here after the three-day holiday since he is out of school. Then I finish packing up the Condo. Did you reserve the moving company for Saturday after next?"
"Yes," Rick answered and gave Michonne a big kiss.
He did not. Rick prayed there was a company still available.
The funeral was sorrowful and Michonne noticed how much Lori's parents clung to Vivian. When Shane reached for her, Mrs. Wayne moved her slightly out of the way. It was subtle, but Michonne caught it. At first, she thought it was a way to keep Lori close to their hearts through Vivian. But the more she observed, Michonne wondered if there was more to their averting actions. Michonne waved it off as her lawyer instincts taking over when they should not be. But then, Michonne noticed Vivian reaching out for her father, and Mr. Wayne taking hold of her instead. Shane was so focused on Lori, he did not notice her parents purposely keeping Vivian away from him. Michonne tried to wave it off, but she had a sinking feeling in her gut about what might be coming, and she prayed she was wrong.
On Monday, it was time for the baby appointment, and both Rick and Michonne were excited. Rick more so because he did not get the pleasure of seeing Carl through a sonogram after Michonne's sixth month of pregnancy, or meeting Carl when he was born or watching him grow up and witnessing his first steps, or first day of school. Rick was hoping for a girl, but he knew that appointment was just to verify the pregnancy.
"Yup, there is the baby, it looks like you are eleven weeks," the doctor smiled up at Michonne, "Which makes your due date, right about December 27th , just after Christmas.
"Is this going to affect my future Christmas gifts?' Carl asked concerned but was ignored by both his parents.
Rick stood and listened to the heartbeat, and he was immediately taken back to that little free clinic where he first heard Carl's. He looked at his son, who looked unbothered as he played his video game sitting in the corner of the room. Carl begged to come to the appointment to see his future sibling, then once there, decided to look completely uninterested the entire time. Rick shook his head.
"Can you tell if it is a girl?" Rick asked hopefully.
"No, we need to wait at least another seven weeks before we can tell," Dr. Johnson chuckled, "would you like a printout of the sonogram?"
"I hope it's a boy," Carl uttered, "Girls are turds."
"CARL!" Both Rick and Michonne hollered.
Carl always wanted a brother, but he felt some type of way about being so much older than his new sibling. Carl figured he would be more of an Uncle figure to his little brother. He knew a lot about Uncles.
"Yes, can we get some copies?" Rick requested and narrowed his eyes at Carl.
Rick did not want to put the thought of another boy in the atmosphere. He wanted a girl! The next one after this current baby can be a boy, Rick thought. Rick and Michonne left with the date of their next appointment and made a stop to drop Carl back at school.
"Have you found a doctor in King County yet?" Rick asked and Michonne shook her head no.
"I have time," Michonne proclaimed, and Rick sent her a text before he started the car.
When Michonne opened the message, it was a list of six OBGYN's in King County. Two have been there since Rick's father was born, and the other four were new transplants to the town. Two males and two females. Rick had a preference but kept that to himself.
"Ok, Once I narrow this down, I will make appointments and see which we like? Let me know your schedule and I will try to make the appointment for when you are off. Or at least during your lunch break," Michonne suggested, and Rick nodded and with any luck, ready to head back to the condo.
"Did you take off work?" Rick asked hopefully.
"I did deputy," Michonne grinned and laughed when Rick sped out of the elementary school parking lot.
Rick proved just how much he missed Michonne, twice! He was snoring when Michonne left to pick up their son. After confirming the moving company, Rick packed up his truck with the rest of Carl's clothes except for a few outfits to get him though the rest of the school week. Carl's room was virtually empty. All that was left was his dresser and his bed. They decided to put the condo up for sale once Abe and Rosita offered their spare bedroom anytime they would need to come to Atlanta for any remaining doctor's appointments. They already had three bids on the condo, so the offer from Ford's was perfect.
"All Right baby, I'm gonna head out. I will see you Friday evening. Did I tell you Darryl wants to roast a whole pig? We are going to rig up an outdoor pit and start it at 4am Saturday morning," Rick laughed prolonging his exit.
"Rosita told me. Abe is heading down Friday morning to help you weirdos and Rosita is going to ride to King County with me Friday afternoon," Michonne laughed and gave Rick a final kiss goodbye, "Will Shane be there?"
"I'm not sure. He is still in Manville. I invited him, but…," Rick shrugged his shoulders and Michonne wanted to encourage Rick talk to him about brining Vivian home to King County but refrained.
All Michonne had was a hunch, and she did not need to start any unnecessary drama, especially if her intuition was off.
"Well, I hope he does," Michonne uttered, "CARL! YOUR DAD IS LEAVING!"
Carl ran from his room and jumped into his father's arms and Rick kissed his son goodbye.
"Be good for your mama," Rick advised, "You too!" Rick added patting Michonne on the stomach before kissing her one more time.
Memorial weekend was a blast and the roast pig turned out delicious. The meat was luscious and well-seasoned, and the skin was crisped to perfection. Shane showed up and as expected, was not his usual jovial self.
"Where is Vivian?" Michonne inquired as she sat next to Shane at the picnic table.
"Lori's parent's thought it would be better if she stayed with them, and to be honest, I ain't myself yet so I agreed. I just needed to get out of the house. Lori is everywhere there. They pulled out every photo album to show Vivian all the pictures they had. She keeps asking when her mama is coming back. It's just so sad and I needed a minute. I'm sorry if I'm bumming out the party," Shane muttered.
"Shane, you are not bumming out the party and all of us are glad you came. We are all here for you. Vivian too. Ok?" Michonne stated and Shane smiled and nodded.
"Thank you. I am gonna take you up on that once Viv and I move back to the house," Shane grinned.
"She is welcome anytime Shane," Michonne offered and gave Shane a hug, "Even Andrea is willing to help, but you might NOT want to take her up on that offer."
Shane looked up at a tipsy Andrea singing "Partition" to Sasha's stomach to calm down the baby's kicking and both Michonne and Shane fell out laughing.
"He popped all my buttons, and he ripped my blouse/He Monica Lewinsky'd all on my gown," Andrea sang while trying to do the Beyonce booty bounce in her drunken state.
Darryl and Sasha were highly amused and Rick was yelling at Andrea that his parents, son, and teenage cousin were out there watching and listening!
"Where in the hell did you find that one?" Shane laughed at Andrea's antics.
"Believe it or not, singing "My Neck My Back" in the middle of the law library at our old firm," Michonne giggled, "People were staring and very appalled. Hey, don't stay in Manville too long, ok? Come back, get Vivian settled and back into a routine. We got you Shane."
"Thank you. I appreciate that. I'm only staying one more week. I want to get her back to her daycare anyway. Like you said, routine. And I want to get back to work. I need to keep myself busy. All that sitting around aint helping me," Shane shared and Michonne prayed Lori's parents were going to make that transition easy.
On Monday, they all had a leisurely day at the lake, minus Shane who went back to Manville on Saturday after the pig roast. Rick used the rest of the pork to make pulled-pork sandwiches and grilled up some burgers and hotdogs. Michonne could not wait to officially move much preferring the laid-back relaxing atmosphere she had become accustomed to. Michonne was glad she made the decision not to wait until August to move. Rosita and Abe could not wait either and were looking forward to late fall when they planned their move. Later that evening, all three reluctantly got back on the road to Atlanta after giving her son a lot of hugs and kisses. Michonne was gloomy that she would not see Carl for four whole days.
On the drive to Atlanta, Michonne's thoughts drifted from Carl, and over to Shane and Lori's parents. Michonne had Shane's predicament on her mind the whole ride home.
