Episode 6! Forged With Iron and Steel!
The sun blazed high in the sky and the rhythmic clatter of wheels on tracks filled the air as the Iron Serpent, a train renowned for its efficiency and speed, cut through the countryside. This was no ordinary journey for the train, though, as a group of bandits had managed to infiltrate the Iron Serpent, commandeering it for their presumably nefarious purposes. On its roof stood three formidable figures, their tight black suits clinging to their curvaceous forms and big booties. It was none other than the Jiggle Butt Gang—Erza, Lucy, and Cana.
"I can't believe these guys stole an entire train. What kind of cargo could they even be after?" Lucy pondered aloud.
Erza crossed her arms as she replied, "Something valuable, no doubt. I suspect they have a specific destination in mind. Their plan is likely to stop the train there and execute their larceny."
Cana grinned. "Well, I, for one, can't wait to stop these foul fiends! Let's get this party started!"
Erza nodded in agreement. "Yes. We shall show them the heroic power of the Jiggle Butt Gang. But first, we devise a game plan."
The trio huddled together, strategizing their course of action. Their big bouncy bottoms wagged back and forth as they discussed the serious matter at hand.
Step one: infiltrate the control room. Step two: neutralize the current operator, preventing the Iron Serpent from proceeding further. Step three: apprehend the remaining bandits. With a unanimous agreement, they prepared to embark on their daring mission!
"Now, let's sally forth, Jiggle Butt Gang, and deliver our justice upon these evildoers!" Erza clenched a fist, her face radiating eager anticipation—an expression shared by Cana and Lucy. They were all rearing to go!
With their objectives clear, the Jiggle Butt Gang focused their efforts on reaching the train's control room. Swift and silent, they navigated through the carriages until they arrived at—
"Guys, look!" Cana shouted, pointing at someone seated in one of the cars, someone they had almost passed. It looked to be the conductor; a rag tied around his mouth and his body bound by rope. His eyes were closed, as if he was sound asleep. Erza observed him.
"He's okay. Just unconscious."
"Guess these guys got the jump on him then hijacked the Iron Serpent." Cana surmised.
"What do we do?" asked Lucy.
"It might be for the best to leave him here for now. He's technically safer this way and we can come back for him later."
The blonde and brunette agreed with Erza's logic as they pressed onwards, until they arrived at their destination. Approaching the closed door, they peered through the window inside, spotting one of the bandits operating the controls, oblivious to being watched.
"Alright. We take control of this locomotive, like we planned." Erza whispered.
Cana raised a hand. "Lemme knock this guy out."
The bandit at the helm of the train was as calm as could be, confident that he and his thieving comrades had successfully pulled off their biggest score without anything or anyone getting in their way. A grin crept across his face before his thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a series of knocks on the door.
"Huh?" The man snapped out of his daydreams and looked behind him. Oh boy, one of the guys had better not be asking for a pit stop or something...
"Whaddaya want?" he called out.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
Seriously? Why weren't they saying anything? The bandit looked very annoyed, but it couldn't be helped. With a resigned huff, he walked towards the door and opened it.
"I said whaddaya—" he began, but stopped short upon the sight he beheld. Instead of one of his guys, it was a brunette in some skintight getup pointing her unbelievably big butt at him. Though before he could properly comprehend what he was seeing—
"Surprise!" Cana exclaimed as she ripped a beefy fart, instantly filling the control room with her gas. One might even feel sorry for the poor, gassed man as he staggered from the stench. The flatulence soon dissipated and the man had collapsed onto his back, the olfactory overload rendered him dazed and twitching.
With him incapacitated, the Jiggle Butt Gang entered the control room. Jiggle Butt Erza assumed control of the train, bringing the Iron Serpent to a gradual halt, extinguishing its momentum at last.
"Step one complete. Now, let's shift our focus to the cargo compartment."
"H-hey wait...you can't..."
But before they could properly proceed, it appeared the man wasn't truly down for the count. The gang cast a glance down at the bandit on the floor.
"Hm, he's still up and kicking." Lucy observed.
Cana suddenly had a thought. Her look turned mischievous, a devious smile playing on her lips. She had a wicked idea.
"Not for long! Lights out for you, buddy!" she laughed as she plopped her massive buttocks on the helpless bandit's face, rubbing it about for good measure as she utterly smothered him. Within seconds, he had passed out.
"Wonderfully done, Cana!" said the Titania. "He likely would have alerted his accomplices were he still conscious."
"Oh, that wasn't why I gave him the ol' stinkface! See, I have a better idea. One to give us the element of surprise!"
Inside the cargo car, the bandits sat amidst stacks of crates, their confusion mounting as the train screeched to a stop. While they were concerned about what was going on, the door burst open, and the Jiggle Butt Gang stepped in, catching them off guard.
"Who the hell are you?" demanded one of the bandits.
Erza, carrying their out cold comrade over her shoulder, responded, "We stumbled upon this unfortunate fellow, who seems to have fallen ill. Perhaps you can assist him." She gently set down the unconscious bandit, and the others rushed to him with concern.
"What happened to him?"
"Did he eat somethin' funky?"
"Hey, thanks for the help, miss!"
However, their momentary lapse in focus ended as they regained their composure.
"Wait a minute! Who the hell even are you?"
Erza straightened herself, as she struck a pose with Lucy and Cana.
"We are...THE JIGGLE BUTT GANG!" they proclaimed in unison, wagging their big backsides in the direction of the train bandits.
The bandits exchanged bewildered glances, a mix of confusion and disgust plastered upon their faces as they beheld the peculiar appearance and exaggerated behinds of the Jiggle Butt Gang.
Are you for real?" one of the bandits voiced.
"We are certainly for real." said Erza. "No ifs or butts about it."
"The booty in this caboose is under our protection now!" Cana added.
"And we're not afraid to raise a stink!" chimed Lucy. "If you know what's good for you, surrender!"
One bandit retorted. "Surrender? Never! We're the mighty and sturdy Black Steel Gang! And this train is OUR property!"
"Bahaha!" Cana couldn't help but laugh. "The mighty and sturdy Black Steel Gang? Are we supposed to tremble in fear of your name or something?"
"Yeah, you guys need to step up your intimidation game." Lucy wasn't impressed either.
The bandit challenged them with his own snark. "Like 'Jiggle Butt Gang' is a fearsome name!"
Cana smirked. "Fair point. But soon, you'll realize the error of your ways."
"Indeed. Let's show these fools we mean business with the full force of our justice!" Erza's voice boomed with authority. "Jiggle Butt Gang, assemble!"
Jiggle Butts Cana and Lucy echoed her sentiment with resolute nods with a resounding "Aye-aye!"
The three women aligned themselves, their bulbous backsides aimed directly at the Black Steel Gang! The bandits watched, unsure of what to expect, as these three big-butted, bodysuit-clad women began to vigorously shake their rears. Then, as the jiggling subsided, they channeled their inner power and—
"GAS-BUTT TRIPLE ECSTASY!"
In an instant, a mighty fart cloud erupted, reverberating through the entire car. The powerful gas burst through the windows, filling the air with its noxious aroma. The bandits were engulfed, their senses overwhelmed by the pungent flatulence. The Jiggle Butt Gang had unleashed their secret weapon, leaving the Black Steel Gang reeling as they found themselves in the midst of the putrid cloud.
With the car fully fumigated, the three heroes had made their statement clear—they were a force to be reckoned with.
In the aftermath of the gas attack, the Black Steel Gang were vanquished, their plans put to a stop by the righteous rears of the Jiggle Butt Gang. Erza and Cana got to work, swiftly restraining the defeated bandits. However, Lucy's curiosity was piqued, and she approached the crates. She couldn't help but want to inspect the contents, her question from much earlier lingering in her mind. Her eyes widened in shock when she surveyed the contents.
"You guys won't believe this, but there's nothing but scrap iron in here!"
Cana and Erza shared incredulous glances, unable to comprehend why the bandits had gone to such lengths for scraps of iron. Cana shrugged nonchalantly. "I guess their moniker was more fitting than we thought. Black Steel Gang indeed."
"Hmmmm..." Erza furrowed her brow, deep in thought. "There must be more to this than meets the eye. What could have been their motive...?"
"Maybe they're just iron enthusiasts." Cana suggested. "You know, really passionate about their metal."
Lucy smiled, finding such a simple notion amusing. "Well, perhaps. You never know. But this all feels like part of a bigger scheme they had planned."
Erza nodded in agreement. "You're right, Lucy. We need to stay vigilant. Our work's not done yet."
As they pondered their next move, they soon heard an odd sound that steadily grew louder.
Lucy frantically looked about, trying to discern the noise. "Um, what is that?"
"I've got a bad feeling about this." said Erza. "We need to get outside immediately!"
Stepping out of the cargo car, the Jiggle Butt Gang were met with the sight of a colossal tank advancing towards them, its metal treads grinding against the ground. From a distance, it appeared formidable, with its imposing size and arsenal of cannons. However, upon closer inspection, the tank's construction revealed itself to be rather shoddy and compromised.
"What the hell is that?!" Cana exclaimed.
"Oh my!" Lucy gasped. "That's quite the machine!"
"Keep your wind steady, Jiggle Butt Gang! This may be our final enemy!" Erza spoke with unmitigated dauntlessness.
The tank came to a halt before the gang and a distinctively female voice echoed from within. "Huh? What's this? Who are you guys?"
The Jiggle Butt Gang introduced themselves with their characteristic confidence, poses included.
"We are the Jiggle Butt Gang!"
But the voice from the tank responded dismissively, "Uhh, okay, whatever. We're just here to pick up our guys. They're taking too long."
"Yeah, we gassed your guys." said Cana.
"You what?" the voice from the tank sputtered with bewilderment. There was a brief pause before she continued, "I suppose that explains what took 'em so long. Guess we'll just blast you out of existence and reap our rightfully stolen iron!"
The cannons on the tank adjusted themselves, aiming at the Jiggle Butt Gang. However, the trio didn't seem bothered. Instead, Lucy posed a question.
"Before that, what do you need scrap iron for anyway?"
The voice chuckled. "Is it not obvious? The iron is for this tank here, see? With a few more upgrades, we'll be able to power this baby up and lay siege to all sorts of places! We'll plunder from what we wreck! Hehehe! It's a brilliant idea, isn't it? Hahaha!"
Cana couldn't resist a sarcastic remark. "Oh, yeah, a truly groundbreaking plan. Congratulations."
"Sarcasm noted. Nonetheless, you don't stand a chance against this tank! It's a marvel of engineering!"
Erza smirked. "Confident, are you? With the combined power of justice, we WILL put a stop to this mechanical monstrosity of yours!"
"OOOOH! Is that a challenge, redhead? So you wanna go? Let's go! Hahahahahaha!"
Erza turned to her companions, her gaze unwavering. "Lucy. Cana. Are you ready?"
"We sure are!"
"You kiddin'? We're full of beans!"
Erza raised her voice, rallying her comrades. "Then let's go! Secret Jiggle Butt Art! Once more!"
The gang readied themselves, positioning their large backsides at the tank. Confusion filled the voice from within the tank. "Eh? What are you doing? Why are you pointing your asses at us?"
With a cry of "GAS-BUTT TRIPLE ECSTASY!" the Jiggle Butt Gang released a tremendous blast of flatulence, unleashing a hurricane-like force of noxious gases. It was an encore stronger than before. The ferocious winds battered the tank, causing it to shake and tremble under the relentless assault.
"What the hell is THIIIIIIIS!" the voice inside the tank shrieked as the foul winds engulfed it. The Jiggle Butt Gang exerted even more force, intensifying their gas output. The tank creaked and groaned.
"Stop! STOP! It's-IT'S SEEPING IN! IT STINKS! IT STIIINKS!" cried the voice.
After the gas had passed, the tank stood there, wisps of yellow rising from various cracks. Coughs sounded from inside, but the tank appeared to have withstood the initial blast. However, its structural integrity couldn't hold up for long. Piece by piece, it began to fall apart, with its parts crashing to the ground one after another. As the dust settled, all that remained was a pile of scrap metal.
"Marvel of engineering my ass!" Cana remarked.
From the wreckage emerged more of the Black Steel Gang, including the woman who was behind the voice. She looked about, and tears began to stream down her face.
"My beautiful tank...Reduced to rubbish...Defeated by a FART...So much hard work..." she lamented between sobs.
"What will you do now?" Erza asked, standing triumphantly, her hands on her hips." Your beast of a machine was no match for our power."
The woman's crying stopped at once as she leapt to her feet with a scowl, joined by her remaining men. "You'll pay dearly for this transgression! Someday, the Black Steel Gang shall rise again! With a BETTER tank! Then I'll come back and blast your big butts to kingdom come! Just you wait!"
Erza smirked, unfazed by the threat. "Looking forward to that."
The woman's face flushed, a mix of frustration and flustered emotions. She quickly recovered and repeated, "Just you wait!" before making a hasty retreat with the rest of the Black Steel Gang.
"We're just gonna let 'em go?" Lucy questioned.
Erza chuckled, amusement in her voice. "Sorry, her bravado got to me. But I'm sure with the memory of her defeat today, she'll put her ambitions into something more productive."
"Yeah, defeating us..." Lucy's voice tinged with uncertainty.
"It'll all work out. Maybe."
"...Maybe?"
Cana interrupted their conversation, a puzzled expression on her face. "Hey, guys, does anyone else feel like we forgot something?"
Erza and Lucy took a moment to ponder, then simultaneously replied.
"Nope."
