A/N: Revised: 3/21/19
"Waitress! More wine please, and put it on Naruto's tab like usual~!"
The noisy Aqua yelled while slamming the table. This would be her third bottle of expensive wine, and all the money Naruto had earned in his last quest was now gone.
"H-hai!"
The waitress said with a strained smile and rushed off to fetch another bottle of wine, but not before sending Naruto a look that asked if it was really okay to bill him again, and it was apparent why.
Due to the amount of help Naruto had been giving Luna with the durian quests, he had become quite familiar with the rest of the guild's staff.
Naruto just waved the girl off, as this was part of his plan after all. First, he would let Aqua go wild with the wine and let her guard down. Then-
"Hey, are you really okay with this? She's going a little overboard, and that wine is expensive…"
Kazuma asked worriedly, pulling Naruto out of his thoughts.
"That's okay. I promised I'd treat Aqua to whatever she wanted, and I'm a man who doesn't go back on his word. Besides, I have a feeling Aqua's gonna get what's coming to her real soon…"
Naruto responded while adding the last bit quietly so only Kazuma could hear, but Megumin noticed this and looked at Naruto suspiciously.
"I figured you were treating Aqua because you liked her or something, but you have a look that says you're planning something."
"That's rude to make such assumptions, Megumin. Besides, he doesn't seem like the type to take advantage of a woman when she's drunk and bring them home, right Naruto?"
Darkness claimed, smiling with a hint of disappointment in her tone, and Naruto tilted his head.
"Who are you again?"
"!"
Darkness slammed her hands on the table in frustration, her cheeks burning red.
"It's me, Darkness! We met yesterday! You saved me from a silver wolf, remember?"
Naruto laughed at his fellow blonde's outburst.
"Sorry, sorry, I was just joking! I remembered who you were because of your weird name."
"W-weird name? That's how you remembered me?"
Darkness asked, stumped on whether she should be offended or pleased.
"Darkness is a rather strange name."
"Now that you mention it, this may be a fantasy world, but the name Darkness doesn't suit you. Especially because of your bright blonde hair and blue eyes."
Megumin and Kazuma added, and Darkness was now blushing hard.
"Megumin and Kazuma too!? W-what about their names? Their names are strange, and Aqua's named after the goddess worshiped by the Axis cult!"
Darkness said to get the heat off her, and Megumin's eyes started glowing red.
"Oh? Is there something strange about my name? Tell me, I wanna know."
Putting the offended Crimson Magic Clansman aside, Naruto shrugged.
"I guess I don't have any right to say anything since I'm named after a fishcake."
"…" x3
"W-what? You wanna make fun of my name now that you know that? Don't bother, I'm used to it from my childhood!"
Naruto barked when the three of them began to stare at him questioningly.
"Hey, where did Aqua go?"
Kazuma asked when he noticed the bluenette was missing.
They found Aqua standing on top of one of the tables performing party tricks with fans and water. She was encircled by a cheerful crowd.
"That idiot… I still can't believe she spent all her skill points on party tricks."
Kazuma said and shook his head tiredly, prompting Naruto to look at the teen in surprise.
"Seriously?"
"Yeah… Had that girl spent her skill points more wisely, she could have been the most powerful adventurer with her stats."
"That's…"
Naruto looked over at Aqua, who seemed to be having the time of her life. Usually one would think it would be okay to do what you wanted, so long as you're enjoying life. But wasn't her goal to defeat the demon king? Was Aqua thinking she could beat the demon king by dazzling him to death with grand tricks and performances?
No, she probably wasn't thinking at all.
"Oh, I almost forgot. I leveled up twice yesterday, so I was thinking about learning some new skills today."
Kazuma said while looking at his adventurer's card. On the card, it showed that he had a few skill points next to his level. The adventurer job class could learn any skill from the other job classes, so the possibilities were virtually endless.
"Hey Megumin, how many skill points would it take to learn that spell you used yester-Ah! Too close!"
Kazuma was in the middle of asking when Megumin was suddenly all up in his face.
"Kazuma! Do you wish to walk down the path of Explosion magic together!? It would be a long and difficult path for someone with the adventurer class, but I would happily walk by your side the entire way!"
Megumin said with more enthusiasm than one would expect to see when talking about a spell.
"Explosion magic is the most powerful magic known to man, it can harm literally anything! Ghosts, gods, devils… I have no shred of doubt in my mind that it can destroy even the demon king himself!"
"You really like Explosion magic, don't you Megumin?"
Naruto said with a smile. Little by little, this kid was beginning to remind him of himself. The way she talked about Explosion magic was the same as the way he used to boast about becoming the Hokage.
"Of course! If I had to choose between eating three solid meals a day and dessert after the third meal, and eating one passable meal a day and using Explosion magic, I would choose the passable meal and Explosion magic with dessert without hesitating!"
"Hey, your answer doesn't add up correctly."
Kazuma added, and Megumin froze in her stance for a second.
"With that being said-"
"-Oi, don't just continue-"
"-Will you walk down the path of Explosion with me and train to get those fifty skill points?"
Megumin asked while ignoring Kazuma's retort.
"Hey Naruto, have you learned any skills yet? You're an adventurer like me and have probably leveled up a lot, so you've probably learned a few skills by now."
"Me? Hm… The only skill I've learned so far is the cooking skill. I wanted to learn how to make my favorite food, and I heard there was a cooking skill from a friend."
"Favorite food? What kind of food is-"
Megumin grabbed onto Kazuma's shoulder. Hard.
"Oi. Didn't you ask me about Explosion magic? Don't tell me you're getting cold feet."
"I don't think it would be worth my time earning all those skill points for a spell that I'd only be able to use once a day-Ouch! Ouch! L-let go of me! How is your grip so strong!?"
Kazuma painfully said when Megumin tightened her grip on his shoulder.
Megumin then let go of his shoulder and turned to Naruto.
"Naruto! Since this man is too weak-willed to walk down the hard path of learning the spell with absolute power, will you choose to learn Explosion magic!"
"No thanks, I don't really need Explosion magic."
Naruto said while waving his hand dismissively, and Megumin fell to her knees dejectedly.
"N-no… No need, he says…"
Rubbing his now bruising shoulder, Kazuma turned to the last person he could ask for skills. He wasn't really surprised that Naruto had only learned one skill. After all, he had a 'cheat' from the gods. Learning skills to make life easier sounded like the natural thing to do if you already had overwhelming power.
"Hey Darkness, what kind of skills does a Crusader learn? I'm assuming tanky skills and sword techniques?"
Darkness grew flustered when asked about her job class.
"W-well yes, you are correct. Although I spent all my skill points on defensive skills, so there is nothing I could teach you…"
Kazuma sighed.
"…And to think my opinion of you would have risen if you knew would have risen a little bit had you been able to teach me even a single skill."
"Ngh-!"
Darkness held her heart as if she had just been stabbed and fell forward until she had to hold herself up on the table.
"Oh well, I was a little surprised about Naruto, but I was expecting this outcome with my party members. Looks like I'll have to learn a skill from someone else."
"!" x2
This was the final strike, and both Darkness and Megumin grew depressed expressions with a thundercloud raining over their heads.
"The path of Explosion is a lonely path…"
"T-to mercilessly shoot down your own party members is too much… Although this treatment isn't too bad…"
Naruto sweatdropped. He couldn't tell if Kazuma was doing it on purpose, or if this was just his personality.
"Everybody! Drinks on Naruto!"
"Oh!"
Aqua shouted from her spot in the middle of the guild, and her audience roared in celebration.
'Okay, I think she's gone far enough. Now should be a good time…'
Naruto thought and got up from his seat to put an end to Aqua's nonsense.
Kazuma took this as a sign of what they had been talking about earlier and watched the shinobi walk towards Aqua.
"Sorry to rain on everyone's parade, but I can't afford to treat everyone!"
Naruto hollered so that everyone could hear, and the adventurers booed him.
"Come on man, don't be so stingy!"
"Yeah, we know you got the cash! What with all those quests you've been completing by yourself!"
Were the crowd's responses.
"No way! Why would I treat you guys anyway? All you ever do is laze around the guild and cause Luna-Chan trouble! I'll treat you guys if I can go a week without having to do a durian quest."
Naruto fired back, and the other adventurers began to get out of their seats.
"Hah~!? Are you picking a fight with us now?"
An adventurer said before a burly man stepped forward and grabbed Naruto by the collar.
"You may have surprised us last time when you put Dust in the hospital with a single punch, but don't think we'll let you off scott-free for calling us lazy!"
"We should stop this."
"We should fight with him."
Darkness and Megumin said at the same time, then they both looked at each other.
…
Megumin averted her gaze, prompting the knight whisper to her in a hiss.
"You want to fight against all those people!?"
"They're the ones picking a fight with Naruto! Besides, he may not be in our party, but he's Kazuma's friend. Right Kazuma?"
Megumin hissed back and turned to Kazuma, only to find the teen trying to sneak into the crowd to blend in.
"…You were just trying to run away, weren't you?"
This time, it was Kazuma who averted his gaze.
Hey, he was sort of friends with Naruto… Were they even friends? Kazuma was still unsure of this. But one thing he was sure of, was that he would get destroyed if he got involved. Naruto had a 'cheat,' so he could take care of himself.
Darkness shook her head and began to push her way to the middle of the crowd where Naruto was, but it was difficult due to how they were all now circled around the shinobi.
Aqua, who just seemed to grasp the situation, clumsily hopped down from her table and ran over to Naruto.
"Oh Naruto, you're such a jokester! You were just kidding, right? You're gonna treat all these hard-working adventurers to a drink, right?"
Naruto smirked.
"Nope. I'm dead serious."
Just as the burly adventurer growled and moved to punch Naruto in the face, a blinding light shined outside through the windows of the guild.
"W-what is that light!?"
"It's coming from outside!"
As the light began to fade, the adventurers forgot about their anger towards Naruto and ran outside to investigate.
The only ones left in the guild were Naruto, Aqua, Kazuma, Megumin, and Darkness.
"Naruto, are you okay?"
Kazuma asked Naruto as the teen brushed his jacket off.
"Oh, so now you're concerned about your 'friend'?"
Megumin mused, and Kazuma began to sweat.
"A-anyways, let's go see what that light was!"
Kazuma stuttered while running outside, and was shortly followed by Megumin and Darkness.
Naruto turned to Aqua who was still recovering from the flash of light.
"Wanna go check it out?"
At this point in time, they could hear shouts coming from outside.
Aqua rubbed her eyes and blinked a couple times before nodding, and the two walked through the doors.
When Aqua stepped foot outside of the guild, she saw a crowd in the middle of the streets. In the middle of the crowd was…
"…Eh?"
Aqua blinked.
Standing at the center of the crowd was a girl with light blue hair and blue eyes. The woman looked just like Aqua, only she was wearing a frilly blue dress that didn't look like anything made by humans.
"Hey, that girl looks just like you Aqua…"
Naruto said while squinting his eyes to get a better look at the girl that was the center of attention.
"Th-that's… Not possible-"
"Goddess Aqua has descended!"
"I thought the goddess of the Axis cult was a crazy lady, but I was wrong! Forgive my ignorance Aqua-Sama~!"
Aqua started to say something, but her voice was drowned in the crowd's cheering.
The 'goddess' raised a delicate hand, and the crowd immediately quieted down.
"Hello everybody, I bit you a wonderful afternoon. I am Aqua, the goddess of water."
'Aqua' said, and the townsfolk roared with cheers.
Kazuma, who was staring at the woman that looked just like Aqua with wide eyes, turned to the girl he had initially come to this world with.
'Aqua's standing right there in the middle of the crowd, but that shouldn't be possible… I know for a fact that Aqua is the real goddess of water, even if she doesn't act like it… She's standing right there by Naruto… Is this his doing?'
When the cheers died down, the 'goddess' continued.
"My appearance may be rather sudden, but I heard that this town held an Arch Priest that is so devoted to the Axis Cult, that they changed their appearance to look like me. I wanted to meet this Arch Priest in person to express how happy I am to have such a devoted follower."
The woman said in a voice with such sincerity that some of the townsfolk became teary-eyed.
"So that's why Aqua is named after the goddess..."
"I knew she was from the Axis Cult, but this…"
Megumin and Darkness whispered to each other, and Aqua began to tremble.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!"
Amid the tear-jerking moment, Aqua screamed at the top of her lungs.
'Aqua' took notice of the girl and she clasped her hands together as her face lit up with joy.
"Ah! You must be the devoted Arch Priest! As the goddess of the Axis Cult, it brings me so much joy to see so much devotion-"
"No! No! No!"
Aqua interrupted her doppelganger while stamping her foot in frustration.
"I-is there something wrong?"
'Aqua' asked with an awkward smile as she walked towards the shouting girl. The crowd split apart as she walked, allowing the 'goddess' to walk straight to Aqua.
"Of course there's something wrong! I'm the goddess of water! I'm Aqua! Who are you, you imposter!?"
"Aqua! I realize you have a devotion to the Axis Cult so strong that you have idolized Aqua-Sama to a point beyond religion, but you can't seriously believe you're the goddess herself. Do you!?"
Darkness said while restraining Aqua who tried to pounce on the 'goddess.'
"I'm not pretending to be the goddess, I AM the goddess!"
Aqua shouted as she desperately tried to strangle the imposter, but Darkness' hold on her was firm. She couldn't believe this was happening! Who was this person pretending to be her, and why were all these people believing this liar!?
Some of the adventurers jumped in front of the 'goddess' protectively.
"I'm sorry, Aqua-Sama! This girl is quite unpredictable when riled up!"
"She's known for her fancy party tricks, not her adventuring skills, so she's mostly harmless!"
"Is that how you people see me!?"
Aqua yelled with teary eyes before she went limp in Darkness' arms. Fighting it was pointless. No one believed her, and she couldn't think of a way to-
"I know! If you're really the goddess Aqua, then answer this! Does Eris pad her breasts!"
…
After Aqua asked such an outrageous question out of nowhere a majority of the crowd, who were Eris cultists, looked at the girl with scornful eyes.
The 'goddess' held the same gentle smile.
"Now why would I assume such a thing? Eris is my cute kohai who is loved by most."
"Ahah! I knew it! You really are a faker!"
Aqua claimed with a triumphant look on her face.
"I heard Axis cultists say that about Eris-Sama all the time!"
"They should learn to act more like their goddess! Such kindness!"
Aqua's face dropped when she heard the crowd cheer for her doppelganger again.
"No! Can't you see!? This woman is deceiving you! Darkness, let go of me already!"
"Stop it Aqua! You're taking this too far! Just give it up already! Owowowow! Don't pull on my hair!"
While Aqua and Darkness were struggling against one another, Kazuma looked at Megumin who had been strangely quiet this whole time.
"What do you think about all of this?"
Megumin continued to stare at the 'goddess' who was happily conversing with the townsfolk before she spoke.
"I don't think that's the real goddess of water. I don't sense anything 'holy' about her."
Kazuma nodded, figuring it was something Magumin was sensing about the girl's mana. Since he didn't have any magical talent, he couldn't sense things as well as Megumin who was an Arch Wizard.
"Actually, I think this is Naruto's doing. Aqua's been swindling him, and he was fed up with it and said he was going to 'teach her a lesson.' Though I don't know how he's doing it."
Megumin nodded, and the two looked at the shinobi in question.
"I'm sorry about my friend here, she doesn't know when to stop and tends to take things a little too far."
Naruto said with a cheeky grin and looked at Aqua while saying the last bit.
"That's okay, I'm just happy to see my children have so much energy-mizuru!"
…
"Oops! Looks like my verbal tick slipped… Teehee!"
'Aqua' said and winked at the crowd when everyone went silent.
"What the hell is 'Mizuru' supposed to mean!? Are you even trying to imitate me anymore? This is ridiculous, I don't say anything like that!"
Aqua ranted in rage, her ears burning bright red with a mixture of anger and embarrassment.
"Oh!"
"I don't know why, but that sounds really cute!"
"Aqua-Sama is the best!"
"Why!?"
Feeling defeated all over again, Aqua hung loosely in Darkness's hold once more.
"Well then, I have completed my business here. I thank you all for your time, and please treat this child with care… She is one of my precious devotees. I bless you all with crystal clear water!"
'Aqua' said before she jumped from the ground onto the roof of the adventurer's guild, surprising all that were watching because the woman had just effortlessly made a fifty-foot jump.
Then, everyone had to cover their eyes when the girl's form was enveloped in the same dazzling bright light.
Aqua, who wasn't affected by the light due to her goddess vision, saw dozens of hands holding what looked to be pieces of paper over the roof before they disappeared, along with the doppelganger, in clouds of smoke before the light faded away.
"Free cheers for the goddess Aqua-Sama!"
"Thank you for blessing us with your presence!"
"Aqua? Are you okay?"
Darkness asked the limp girl in her arms, but Aqua only murmured to herself.
"Heh heh… It's no use, no one will believe me even if I tell them what I saw… Now I'm going to be remembered as the goddess who says weird things like 'mizuru'…"
"It's okay Aqua, we'll all still accept you for who you are. Even if you're just trying to imitate the goddess Aqua-Sama! Right everyone?"
Naruto said to Aqua while patting her on the back, and the townsfolk cheered in agreement.
Kazuma's mouth dropped; he finally figured out what Naruto's true goal was. He still didn't know how Naruto pulled off the Aqua doppelganger, but what he did was make solid proof that Aqua wasn't the real goddess of water, and made everyone in town believe she was imitating the actual goddess' appearance out of worship.
Aqua, who had tried and failed to get people to realize who she actually was, was now in a position where she could never get people to know the truth. From this day onward, the people of Axel Town, and eventually the entire kingdom, would only see her as a devote worshiper.
It was ironic in a way. Aqua's image as a goddess had been significantly boosted by Naruto, as people said they originally believed that the goddess of the supposedly twisted Axis Cult was probably just as crazy. But now they saw her as a kind and gentle goddess with an odd, but cute verbal tick. The only problem was it wasn't the real Aqua that they would be worshipping, but rather a fake.
Aqua had been completely and utterly destroyed, and there wasn't a single thing she could do about it now.
'Note to self: Do NOT push Naruto too far.'
Kazuma thought and shivered when he thought about what the shinobi could do to him, and he turned to find Megumin trembling as well and assumed she had come to the same conclusion.
As the hype began to dwindle down, the townspeople and eventually the adventurers started going back to their previous activities. The appearance of the goddess Aqua would be the talk of Axel Town for many days to come.
All that was left of the crowd was Naruto, Kazuma, and the girls standing in front of the adventurer's guild.
"Who would have thought we would get to meet one of the goddesses? Ah! I forgot to ask Aqua-Sama to thank Eris-Sama for me!"
Darkness said, oblivious to the truth.
"It's not me… It's not me… It's not me…"
Aqua continued to mumble to herself with dull eyes.
"Well, I'm off to go complete a quest! I'll catch you guys later!"
Naruto said before he disappeared in a "poof!" of smoke.
Seeing this, Aqua's eyes turned into saucers as the light returned to them. That smoke…
"Well what do you know, that guy really is a ninja…"
Kazuma said and stretched. It was only the afternoon, but he was already tired for some reason.
Darkness turned around and pointed towards the guild.
"I feel strangely motivated to take on a quest! Shall we hunt more toads today? Ah, but Aqua said she didn't want to do that quest anymore… What a shame, I wanted to try that new strategy Megumin and I came up with where I distract a dozen toads at the same time, and Megumin blasts us all away with Explosion magic! Nnnn! I wonder if my body would be able to withstand the most powerful spell~?"
Kazuma looked at Megumin, and the girl quickly averted her gaze.
"You want to use Explosion magic on Darkness!? I thought you two were getting along, and you want to sacrifice her for your twisted explosion fetish!?"
"Hey! She said this was the best way to test just how durable she is! I'm not going to let an offer like that go just because of something as weak as human morals! Besides, I thought you didn't even want Darkness in the party!"
"Do you even hear the words coming out of your mouth!? This is Darkness's life we're talking about! She may have a twisted personality, but that doesn't mean I want her dead!"
"Nng! The toad slime was good, but this verbal harassment is also pretty good too!"
"…Let's just go inside."
"Agreed."
Kazuma and Megumin said before looking back at their final member.
"You coming, Aqua?"
"No, that's okay… I'm taking the day off today. See you guys tomorrow."
Aqua said and slowly began to make her way to the stables.
"Is she going to be okay?"
Megumin asked Kazuma, and the boy shrugged.
'She got what was coming to her, but I still feel kinda bad… Hopefully, she learned her lesson and won't try to swindle people into treating her anymore.'
Kazuma thought and walked into the guild with his other two party members. They wouldn't be taking on a quest without their fourth member anyway so they would decide what they would do tomorrow.
The Next Day…
"Hey, Naruto? Did you hear? They say the goddess Aqua-Sama appeared today! Although I didn't feel any surges of holy magic…"
Wiz chimed as she ate chowed down her noodles. She was sad that Naruto had only brought a single bowl of ramen this time, but she wasn't in any position to complain.
Naruto chuckled as swept the entrance to the store like usual.
"It's true, I saw the goddess with my own eyes."
"Eh~? I would have liked to meet her too, even if her very presence might be enough to purify me…"
Wiz said and placed the empty bowl down.
"Don't say something so ominous with a casual expression…"
Naruto said with a sweatdrop, but that got him thinking. What would happen if Aqua, a goddess(?), met Wiz, who was a lich? He'd have to be careful if the two ever met.
"By the way, why did you buy all the illuminate scrolls? I thought you said they weren't useful in the slightest? Did you perhaps change your mind?"
Wiz asked curiously. When Naruto had been putting the scrolls away after she had stopped him from destroying them, but then he suddenly requested to buy them. Wiz assumed he was just trying to help the store, but Naruto had a serious look on his face, and she eventually caved.
"You were right, Wiz. It seems those scrolls had a use after all! Apparently, you could amplify the brightness by adding your mana to it. With enough mana, just one scroll could theoretically light up an entire town!"
Wiz tilted her head in confusion, but shrugged it off and cleared the table. It didn't matter what Naruto used the scrolls for, so long as she had been able to help him!
A/N: Hope the prank met any expectations you all had!
