Jane looked towards the benches as she skated by. Maura had been there the whole practice, keeping an eye on one of their injured players who was skating again for the first time in a few weeks. Jane couldn't deny the attraction towards the doctor, not that she had really tried at all since the first day.

"Alright girls, since we're enough for a little game let's go five on five, 1st and 3rd line in black jerseys against 2nd and 4th in red. Let's go!"

Jane, being on the 2nd line skated over to the benches to change jersey. Maura was still there and Jane caught her eyes as she stopped. "You gonna watch us play?" she smiled and pulled off her jersey.

"Yes, I think I will."

Jane reached for her red practice jersey and noticed how Maura's eyes were fixated on her. She smiled. It wasn't the first time Jane got the feeling that the attraction went both ways. She took her time putting on the jersey, making sure to stretch her arms first and loving the feeling of being watched. It wasn't until Maura suddenly turned her head the other way that Jane finally put on the jersey. And as she glided past the doctor, she turned to her and put on a completely normal and innocent face. "Hope you like what you see then…" She didn't have to see the reaction, she could feel the doctor's eyes burning a hole in her back.

Playing against each other at practice was just as serious, but not as hard hitting as a real game. No one wanted to risk getting injured so the hits weren't as hard as normal. But this time Jane got hit pretty hard on her first shift. She was going after the puck in the corner when Amy Wallace, 3rd line right wing, crushed her against the glass. Jane struggled to stay on her feet and turned to say some words to Amy, but she was already skating away. "You piece of shit" Jane mumbled and readjusted her helmet.

It wasn't really surprising, if Jane was honest with herself. Ever since they both knew that Jane was taking Amy's spot on the second line, there had been several 'incidents' between them. A dirty look, accidentally knocking over Jane's stick or a snarky comment.

Jane finished her shift, keeping an extra eye on Amy, before she changed and sat down on the bench. She made eye contact with Maura who seemed a bit concerned. Jane didn't care and spit out some bad words.

The next time Jane jumped on the ice she went straight into the offensive zone, chasing a puck behind the goal. She didn't succeed and had to go back to defend in her own zone. She noticed the others were changing one by one, and Amy got back out on the ice. The puck was tossed into the corner closest to Jane and she went after it. Amy was on her back right away, pushing and shoving to get the puck. Jane braced herself against the board and used her skates to try and get the puck out. Someone came to help, but Jane didn't see who. She was looking down and trying to keep Amy from the puck. Just as a stick got mixed between all the skates, an elbow hit Jane in the chin and she lost focus. In those few seconds it took her to recover, the puck was out of her skates and people moved on. Jane knew the elbow had to come from Amy, and she scowled at her as she got back into position.

Jane's team eventually got possession and they slowed things down to organize. Jane skated up along the board and saw Jessie looking her way, passing the puck towards her. At the same time, Jane saw Amy heading her way, with a lot of speed. She knew right away Amy wasn't going to back down, and Jane barely managed to pass the puck forward before Amy slammed into her. Jane went hip first into the board and flipped over and into the benches, landing on her shoulder with her feet on the bench. As she looked up, Amy was grinning down at her.

"You're getting weak, Rizzoli."

"Fuck you, Wallace" Jane spit back before Amy disappeared.

"Jane, are you alright?" Maura came rushing over to help out, but Jane pushed her away.

"I'm fine!" She stumbled to get back up on her feet, both angry and embarrassed. Being tossed into the benches like a raggedy doll wasn't exactly the skill she had planned to show Maura. Jane jumped over the board and back into the game again, too humiliated to even look at Maura. She tracked down Amy and made sure to give her a shove as she went by.

"Rizzoli! Wallace! What the hell was that?" coach Landers yelled and stopped the play.

Jane kept her mouth shut and stared at Amy, knowing she would come up with some bullshit.

"I'm sorry coach, I couldn't stop. And I didn't think she would be so easy to flip over the board…"

Jane laughed from the innocence Amy tried to pull off. "You're such a liar…"

"Hey!" coach Landers interrupted before Amy could offer a reply. "I don't care. But I don't want hits like that in practice. We don't need an injury right now." He stared at both of them before he skated back to the sideline. "Alright. Let's continue!"

"God forbid his superstar gets injured" Amy mumbled as she skated by, but loud enough for Jane to hear it.

Jane shook her head and tried to ignore it.

The next ten minutes went by without a hit that powerful, but whenever Amy and Jane were on the ice together, they continued to push and shove each other. When Jane pushed Amy down to the ice, Amy answered with a stick to the skates which made Jane tumble down. They were constantly on each other's backs, roughing and pushing the limits. After Amy's stick accidentally hit Jane's chin, Jane was sent off the ice with a cut. She grabbed a towel as soon as she got to the benches and wiped it over her chin.

"Let me take a look at that" Maura said and went over to Jane.

"I'm fine."

"We might need to disinfect it."

"No! I'm fine!" Jane raised her voice and pressed the towel to her chin. "Just stop the bleeding. I'll fix it later."

Maura hesitated for a moment before she caved. "What is going on with you and Wallace?" she asked as she started to work on Jane's cut.

"Nothing" Jane mumbled.

"It sure looks like something." Maura waited for an answer, but Jane remained silent. "Okay, I'm not going to ask…" Maura sighed and finished her work.

Jane wanted to say something, but couldn't. She just watched as Maura walked down to the other end of the bench and sat down.

As soon as they both were on the ice together, Amy was smirking as she approached Jane and threw a look towards the benches. "Now I understand why she's always here. She has to pick you up every time you fall!"

"Well, at least someone offers to help me…" Jane shot back.

Amy laughed and bit her bottom lip. "Yeah, everyone wants to help the superstar… You know, if you spend too much time with that weirdo, she might think you're her friend. Probably first and only friend too."

Jane quickly turned to face Amy, and muttered through clenched teeth. "Don't you dare drag her into this, she has nothing to do with whatever this is, so drop it, bitch."

Amy didn't seem to be too intimidated by a snarling Rizzoli, she was smiling instead. "Oh I think I stepped on someone's toes here…" she practically sung.

Jane breathed heavily to avoid bursting, and tried to pay attention to the game. That didn't work when Amy leaned closer.

"You like her…"

She didn't know what she was doing until her gloves were on the ice and her hands were grabbing Amy's jersey. The rest happened so quickly. Helmets were being ripped off. Someone threw the first punch, followed by another. A sudden pain in Jane's eye, and then her knuckles. She let out all the frustration that had built up since she got back to Boston. Not giving a damn about anything. Amy didn't back down either, and the coach had to physically separate them with the help of others.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" he yelled and grabbed Jane and pushed her further away from Amy. "What's going on with you two?"

"She's pissed because I got her place on the second line! She can't handle it and takes it out on me!" Jane shouted, still staring at Amy.

"And you think you handled this better?" Coach Landers forced her to look at him while he skated towards the benches. "Get out of here and get cleaned up. We'll talk later."

Jane reluctantly got off the ice, but stopped. "Why am I being punished? She started all this bullshit!"

"You think being sent off is punishment, Rizzoli? Just wait…" coach Landers said low and gave her a shove. "Now go. Don't let me see you on the ice again today."

She turned around and marched off towards the locker room, slamming her hand into the wall in anger.


Maura watched the scenes unfold on the ice and didn't know what to believe. She had never seen any of the girls on the team fight each other before, and she was still in shock when coach Landers called her name.

"Doctor Isles, can you take care of Rizzoli?"

She just nodded with her eyes still on Amy, who was soon approached by a very mad coach. Maura picked up her medical bag and headed towards the locker room with one thought bothering her; what in the world made Jane snap like that?

As she approached she could hear loud noises from the locker room, like someone was kicking something. When she entered the room, Jane was just sitting down on the bench. The hamper that usually stood in the middle of the room, for the players to leave their dirty jerseys in, was now found in the corner. Maura walked slowly over to Jane, not sure if she should say something or not. She put down her bag and took a closer look at Jane. She was bleeding from her lip and nose, and with a cut over her left eye. Her hand was also covered in cuts and blood. Jane was eerily silent, and it made Maura uncomfortable. "Can I clean your wounds?"

Jane looked up at Maura before she nodded slowly. "Can we go to your office first?" she whispered.

Maura saw the plea in Jane's eyes, and just nodded. "Of course."

"Thanks…" Jane took off her skates before they moved to Maura's office. Not a word was said, and Jane sat down on the examination bench as soon as they entered the office. Maura found an ice pack and handed it to Jane who put it on her left hand.

The person in front of Maura didn't look like the Rizzoli she usually saw. Despite how tough Jane looked in all the protective gear and the jersey, she sulked like she had lost her puppy. Maura found a clean cloth and started removing the blood that had trickled down Jane's cheek. She noticed right away that the cut above the eye needed stitches. "You need a few stitches…" she mumbled, mostly to herself.

"Good. I deserve it."

Maura stopped and just stood in front of Jane, watching her. Jane eventually looked up and met her gaze. "I have never been kicked out of practice before" she explained.

"Jane…" Maura dabbed gently around the cut. "From what I have seen, you are a smart player." She ignored the loud scoff coming from Jane who stared down at the floor. "You have so much passion for this game, why do you let it culminate in anger and physical aggression?"

Jane's head shot up and she scowled at Maura. "You're not taking her side, are you?!"

"No! I don't know what happened out there, and what was said, I am not taking anyone's side. But I have seen what this sport means to you, and I just think you could benefit more if you redirected your passion into your skating and stick handling. You would be an even bigger threat to the goalies."

"Easy for you to say, you're not out there, being hated because someone thinks you're better than others" Jane mumbled.

"Well, in this case you are better than others. That is why you play on the second line, and not Wallace."

Jane chuckled and slowly shook her head. "It sounds an awful lot like you're taking sides, doc."

Maura stopped her movements and stared at her fingers that were holding Jane's chin up. "Alright, maybe I am" she smiled. "But my point is that you deserve to be where you are, and that passion can make you better. If you use it wisely."

Jane removed the ice pack from her left hand and raised the hand with the bloody and sore knuckles. "But this made sense out there! She deserved it, and she was asking for it."

Maura retracted her hands and took the injured hand in hers. She grabbed the ice pack from Jane and placed it back on her left hand. "Can I ask what she said to you that made you so angry?"

Jane lowered her head and closed her eyes. "No…" she mumbled. "She just said something about someone I know."

Silence fell around them and Maura let her eyes take in the very surprising sight in front of her. She had expected Jane to be furious about the fight and being sent off. Instead she was sad and embarrassed. The coldness from the ice pack transferred to her own hand, reminding Maura that she was still holding Jane's bruised hand. She let go of the hand and found the suture kit and a pair of gloves. "You proved to your teammates today that you would stand up for them if anything should happen. The passion in you goes further than just the game, it was very clear that you protect the people you love."

This made Jane look up, and Maura stilled her movements. It looked like Jane was about to speak, but nothing but a soft sigh escaped. She turned her focus to the floor, avoiding Maura's eyes. They sat in complete silence while Maura completed her work on the cut.

"How am I supposed to do it?" Jane asked softly as Maura put away the needle and turned her focus to the bruised hand.

"Do what?"

"Use it wisely. Not… fight." Jane paused and released a deep breath. "Cause, we're going to Denver soon. And… someone there knows how to get under my skin."

"By your choice of words I'm assuming this is someone on the team." Maura threw a questionable look at Jane.

"Yeah. We were on the same power play unit."

Maura grabbed a chair and pulled it towards her as an idea formed in her head. She sat down, and had to look up to catch Jane's eyes. "Were you friends?"

"Sort of…"

"Lovers?"

Maura stayed calm, but Jane flinched nervously at the question. "Let's just say she knows how to piss me off…"

Maura reached for a new cloth, still unaffected by their conversation. "And what makes you think she will do that?"

"Oh I know she will!"

Maura looked up at Jane. "Why?"

Jane was clearly uncomfortable and avoided the doctor's eyes. "It doesn't matter, I just know she will put in some extra effort to lay a big hit on me. Or something."

The blood slowly disappeared from Jane's hand, and Maura took a few seconds to study the knuckles that were starting to swell. She reached for the ice pack again and held it against Jane's hand. "It sounds like an affair gone wrong. Was that it? Why you left Denver?"

"No!" Jane was close to growling at Maura. "And that's none of your business!"

"Maybe not" Maura replied in a normal voice. "I'm just trying to help you, Jane."

"Well, you're not doing a very good job, doctor! You're just pissing me off!"

Maura stood up to put her things back in her bag. "Like that girl in Denver will. I'm trying to understand why she would be so mad at you. Was it something that happened between you two? A bad break-up?"

Jane rose to her feet and started pacing around. "Why she is mad at me has nothing to do with this! And what's up with the 20 fucking questions?"

"Why she's mad at you has everything to do with this, Jane. It tells me what kind of anger she has against you. And right now all I can do is guess, was it a romantic affair that went wrong? Did you sleep with her best friend, or her boyfriend-"

"Okay, fine! We had an affair, she wanted more and thought I wanted the same. And I let her believe it. For six months. Happy now?!" Jane held out her hands in total surrender, dropping the ice pack at the same time.

Maura didn't reply, but took a few steps closer while she smiled softly.

"I thought you were on my side…" Jane mumbled.

"I am."

"Nice way of showing it."

Maura picked up the ice pack and handed it to Jane. "You could've just ignored my questions. And stood your ground." She had to hold back a laugh when she saw Jane's face turn from anger and frustration to pure confusion.

"What?" She studied Maura's face for any kind of clues without success. And then it dawned on her, and Jane had to sit down. "You played me."

"I tried to make you react." Maura sat down next to Jane on the bench. "Had you ignored me, I would have stopped asking."

Jane shook her head and a short laugh escaped her lips. "I can't decide if you're Jekyll or Hide right now…"

"I like to think I can be both at times."

Jane laughed again and it caused a smile on Maura's face.


"Hi honey!"

Angela smiled as Jane walked into the Robber. But Jane knew that smile would quickly vanish as she approached the bar.

"Oh my god, Janie, what happened to you!?"

And there it was. Jane just shrugged. "It's nothing, Ma." She rested her arms on the bar, thankful for the early winter so she could cover her beat up hand with gloves. "Just unlucky at practice."

"Are you sure? Jane, you have stitches!"

Jane smiled and nodded. "I'm fine. Don't worry." No matter how many times she had come home with stitches, or a cut, Angela reacted the same way, like someone had touched a hair on her precious baby, for the first time. "Is Korsak here?"

Her mother shook her head. "No, he's in a meeting. Do you want something to eat?"

"No thanks… I gotta get home and rest. Doctor's orders." She gave her mother a reassuring smile, knowing she was relieved when Jane actually did what the doctors told her.

Once she was settled on her couch, she reached for her computer and logged in on facebook right away. She knew Danielle would answer her messages.

Jane
So I think I kinda outed myself today…

Danielle
How?

Jane
I told someone about Sarah…

Danielle
Oh dear… why? Who?

Jane
I was kinda tricked into it. A bunch of questions and I eventually snapped, like always.

Danielle
Oh dear… Who?

Jane
Take a wild guess.

Danielle
Doctor Dimple? Shit….

Jane
Yeah…. Shit…

Danielle
What did she say? What did you say?

Jane took a deep breath before she started typing, telling Danielle the whole story from the beginning. Danielle was the only one besides Korsak who knew about Sarah and what had happened in Denver. But Korsak never talked about it and Jane would never bring it up either. She rarely initiated a conversation about Sarah.

Danielle
So Doctor Dimple knows you're gay, she knows about Denver. And why is this a bad thing?

Jane
Really? This is what you're focusing on? Not that I started a fight with Wallace because she implied that I have a thing for Maura, and now she definitely knows it's true since I attacked her!?

Danielle
So it's Maura now, huh? ;)

Jane
Fuck you…

Danielle
I know you want to honey, but you know I'm taken :)

Jane
You ass… One day you will be single and having a crush on the biggest star in the WNHL, but I'll be too busy with the rest of the fans to even see you :p

Danielle
I don't need you to notice me if I'm having a crush on Jones…

Jane
Why do I bother… can we get back on track here? Or do I need to find a new friend?

Danielle
Fine. I actually think it's kinda funny that you are focusing on the fact that Wallace knows you're crushing on…Maura (wow, that was weird!), and not that you told someone about Sarah…

Jane
She hates me, she could tell it to anyone, and probably will… I don't trust her at all! I know Maura won't say anything about Sarah. And what if Maura hears that I'm crushing on her? She's the damn doctor!

Danielle
Okay, seriously. What do you know about this doctor? Married, straight, gay? Will she freak out if she knows?

Jane
No idea.

Danielle
Gee, this was easy! Okay, what do you want? You want something to happen between you two? Is it just a crush, are you falling for her, or do you only want to screw around with her?

Jane
No idea...

Danielle
You're so damn easy… *sigh* Look, I got a class in ten, but seriously, something is obviously going on. If she knows it or not. Look for a ring next time, or a photo on her desk. Ask if she's married. And then you can figure out what this is.

Jane
Fine… but no speech on how you're not supposed to mix business with pleasure?

Danielle
In this case, no… cause hockey for you is not business, it's just pleasure all the way :)

Jane
True… Alright, go learn stuff. I have an appointment with my couch as well.
Thanks btw…

Danielle
Buy me a beer and we're even. As usual.


Jane closed the door to the coach's office behind her and sighed. She walked down the hall until she reached the doctor's office and peaked in through the open door. Maura was sitting at her desk, writing, and Jane carefully knocked a couple of times on the door. Maura looked up and smiled when she saw Jane.

"Hi. Come on in."

Jane entered and walked over to the bench without a word. She sat down and waited.

"Did you get some rest?" Maura asked while she put down her pen and closed the file on her desk.

"Yeah…" Jane didn't bother hiding the sadness in her voice.

"Everything okay?" Maura walked over to Jane and stopped in front of her.

"No. Not really. I'm not allowed to play the next game. Coach just told me. My punishment."

Maura put her hand on Jane's shoulder and rubbed it gently. "I'm sorry, Jane."

Jane didn't reply, but let herself drift off for a few seconds. She felt the warmth from Maura's touch and let her eyes go where they wanted to. They followed the neckline of Maura's shirt, up her neck and to the lips, before they went back down to the floor. She knew she shouldn't do it, but it felt good, like a comfort, like that bucket of ice cream that looked so appealing when you were sad.

"I have never been so ashamed in my life." The words slipped out before she managed to stop them.

"There's nothing to be ashamed about, Jane."

"Even though I have always been rough around the edges, I have never missed a game because I started a fight with my teammate! I let a stupid moron get to me, and now I have to explain to my friends and family why I'm not playing the next game." The words poured out of Jane when she first started, and she gave up thinking. "I can't tell Ma I got in a fight, I will never hear the end of it. So now I have to come up with a good story, which she'll believe. This is like Denver all over again…"

They both quickly knew it was never Jane's intention to share those last words. Maura wasn't sure what to say or do, and just stood there looking at Jane who stared intensely at the carpet on the floor. Footsteps out in the hall made Maura turn around and noticed the door was still open. She closed it before she went back to Jane. "Your stitches look good. You could tell your friends and family you can't play because of the wound. Normally I would suggest you stayed away from sports, especially hockey, for a few days. To protect the stitches."

Jane nodded slowly, thankful for the doctor's effort, even if it was a weak explanation. "No one knew about Sarah except my best friend. It was easy keeping it a secret since I was so far away from everyone. And our teammates only knew we were friends."

Maura moved carefully to sit down on the bench next to Jane, afraid she'd scare her from talking.

"She joined the team last November. I had been there over a year already and I was lonely. I didn't really connect with anyone there, I didn't like the city and I missed Boston. So when I realized we actually had chemistry I thought things might change. Except I didn't fall for her. I just wanted comfort, and sex. She gave me that.

I knew she was falling for me, but I was selfish and lied to her, making her believe we were actually in a relationship. And with our schedule we didn't have much time to be a real couple. None of us had family anywhere near, no friends, we were both strangers. Until she started making friends. When we were out with her friends outside the team, she wanted to be a couple, didn't want to hide it. I was still scared that someone would see us, that it would make its way to the team, or even here. It was always the reason for our fights."

A knock on the door made them both jump, and Jane watched as Maura hurried over to open the door. Jane recognized the physical coach and gave a small nod when he saw her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you were busy. I'll talk to you tomorrow" he smiled at Maura.

Maura seemed confused for a moment before she smiled back. "Thank you. I will find you first thing tomorrow morning."

"Great. Goodnight doctor, Rizzoli."

"Goodnight, James."

Their words made Jane look at her watch and it was way past Maura's work hours. Jane sighed as Maura closed the door. "I didn't know it was this late, I won't take up your time any longer" she excused herself and jumped down from the bench.

"No, it's okay" Maura interrupted and grabbed her arm. "I'm in no rush."

"Don't you have a husband to get home to?" It came out sounding almost angry.

"Oh, no I'm not married."

Jane looked down at the hand on her arm and forced herself to relax. Danielle's words lingered in her mind, and Jane took a closer look at the hand. No ring. So she wasn't married.

"You can stay, and finish the story if you want to."

Jane hesitated, even though she didn't know why. She had already told most of the story, she might as well finish it. But a part of her was wondering why she was telling Maura this at all. It was a part of her history that she hated, that she never told anyone.

"I'll just listen, if that's what you want. But if you don't want to, that's okay too." Maura gave the arm a reassuring squeeze.

Jane surrendered and sat down again. "When the season ended, she wanted to spend some days together. She offered to come to Boston, and I was running out of excuses. She had mentioned it so many times, tried to make me agree on something, but I always avoided the topic.

One night, we had a huge fight. And everything was pulled out of the dark. She said she thought she wasn't good enough for me, she was tired of hiding. And eventually I told her the truth."

"What did she say?"

Jane looked up at Maura who was covering her mouth with her hand.

"I'm sorry, it just slipped out…"

Jane surprised herself when she laughed. "It's okay. She was pissed, of course. She yelled at me and called me a lot of names. Then she left and I didn't see or hear from her again until a few weeks later. And I knew right away from the looks of some of our teammates that she had told them. When I came back home for the summer, I talked a lot with my step dad about everything. I told him what happened, and how I hated Denver. And I decided to not renew my contract. I didn't like it because I felt like I was weak, that I was running from problems. Not only Sarah, but everything."

"What do you mean?"

"The last week was hell on earth. Awkward, humiliating, painful, everything… She was still mad and hurt, people talked and I was left out. But still I hated myself because I caved. I was playing for one of the better teams in the league, I had a big opportunity, and I ended it. Because of a girl and because I was homesick."

"Leaving your hometown is never easy, Jane, no matter what age. You shouldn't beat yourself up over it. And you have a new team now, and even if it's not the best team in the league, you still have the opportunity to reach whatever goals you have."

Jane got up on her feet again and smiled. "Yeah… maybe I do. I guess I just need to learn how to ignore things." They both chuckled, and Jane felt her shoulders lowering. She actually felt a bit better after telling Maura everything, and it didn't even scare her anymore. "Thanks doc… I hope you keep this to yourself." She tried to make it sound as nice as possible as she headed for the door.

Maura followed her, and when Jane stopped out in the hall and turned around, Maura smiled. "You can trust me. Anytime, Jane."


Danielle
So…. How did it go with doctor dim- sorry… Maura? :)

Jane
Fine. No infection. Stitches out in a few days.

Danielle
That's not what I meant. Come on…

Jane
Fine… I did it again…

Danielle
Did what? Seriously, stop making me drag things out of you!

Jane
I told her about Sarah and Denver. And all that happened. And why I left.

Danielle
Holy shit! What made you do that?

Jane
I don't know. It just happened. And somehow it felt good. She listened, I talked. And she didn't judge or say stupid things like "you followed your heart"…

Danielle
So what did she say?

Jane
That I could trust her.

Danielle
*whistles*

Jane
And that she's not married

Danielle
Someone is falli- wait! She said that?

Jane
Yup.

Danielle
Oh you're so screwed my friend… well, not yet… but hopefully soon ;) You think she might feel the same?

Jane
I don't even wanna think about it… She's the doctor, I'm the patient.
NO! Don't say it!

Danielle
What? That this is how a bunch of "movies" start? :D

Jane
I said don't! It doesn't matter what she feels, or not… I can't go there.

Danielle
There are no rules against it, so why not?
Unless…
Right… you don't want to hurt her. That's it, you and I have a date with a couple of beers in the near future, cause this is too big for motionless chatting on facebook.

Jane
Whatever you say, your highness…