Prompt: A touch-starved Remus slowly realizes that the feelings he has towards a certain young Auror are more than meets the eye. Set during OoTP, one-shot.

"Remus?"

A soft voice called from across the library. Remus looked up from his now-cold cup of tea to see Tonks at the threshold of the door to the library, her vibrant pink hair visible from the dying light of the fire.

"Tonks."

"Molly says supper is ready. I thought you might be hungry." Remus saw her chew her lower lip, as if she were attempting to make a decision.

He stifled a groan as he got up from the dusty sofa. The full moon was that night and his entire body was throbbing with pain. He usually stayed away from others this close to the full moon, but it was the first full Order meeting in over fifteen years, and he was unwilling to miss it.

To his surprise, Tonks was at his side now and helping him up, grabbing his hands in her own small, soft ones. The unexpected human contact alarmed him enough that he fell back into the chair, grimacing as the back of it slammed against his sore muscles.

"I'm so sorry," Tonks said apologetically. "I should've warned you before I tried to help." She appeared upset with herself, and offered her hand again, which Remus dismissed. He took the two arms of the chair and gripped them tightly in an effort to steady himself. He could see the trepidation in her eyes as he straightened himself to get downstairs.

"Are you all right?" asked Tonks. Her hands were twitching nervously at her sides; Remus wasn't certain if it was out of fear, anxiety, or both.

"Yes," he said, as his eyebrows knitted together as the pain washed over his body once more.

"You don't need help on the way—"

"—I don't, thank you," Remus said curtly. Tonks' face fell and she shuffled ahead of him in the library. Remus almost felt sorry for her, but it was better she kept her distance from him. She wouldn't do herself any favors by becoming too friendly with the Order's resident werewolf, he thought bitterly.

He followed her down the stairs in near silence, interrupted only by the heavy clunking of her boots against the steps. Remus' muscles were on fire as he moved, and he thought of nothing but Pain Relief Potion on his way to supper.

The kitchen at Grimmauld Place was cleaner than he'd seen it at first; it had taken Molly Weasley only two days to bring it from offensively filthy to merely grimy, and instead of the rotting smell that had pervaded the space, a delicious, mouthwatering scent had replaced it.

Remus watched as Tonks clunked her way to Mad-Eye Moody's side, glancing furtively back at him. He turned and found Sirius.

"What did you do to her?" Sirius said, under his breath. "She looks like you killed her pet rabbit."

"Why did you send her?" Remus muttered angrily. "You know what tonight is."

"I didn't send her. She volunteered herself."

"Did no one tell her," Remus continued, lowering his voice even further, "about me? She would never have volunteered herself if she knew."

Sirius let out an impatient groan. "Oi, Tonks!" he called, beckoning her over to where they were. Remus winced as Tonks' eyes widened, but not before she toppled over a chair on her way to them. She then stood, facing Sirius, while eyeing Remus warily.

"Did you know that Remus—"

"—is a werewolf?" Tonks said quietly. Remus sputtered, taken aback by the revelation. Sirius grinned, looking between his younger cousin and the place where Remus sat in shock.

"Good, and did you know this before seeking out our resident werewolf for supper?" Sirius said playfully, as Tonks nodded nervously, now bouncing from one foot to the other in obvious discomfort.

"Why did you try to help me?" Remus said suddenly. "If you knew…about me?"

Tonks stared at him incredulously. "Because you looked like you needed it? No offense. I know tonight's the…the…y'know, and I thought you might want…help." Her eyes were now scrunched closed, and her hair had gone from its previous vibrant pink to a softer, bubblegum pink.

"Relax, Tonks," Sirius said lightly. "Moony isn't used to help." Tonks opened her eyes and she looked at Remus with a familiar expression – pity.

"'M fine," Remus snapped. "I don't need any help." Tonks bit her lower lip and Sirius gestured for her to move away.

"Way to be an arsehole," Sirius muttered. "She already knew and she still wanted to help you. Not everyone is out to get you."

"It's better she learn to stay away from me," Remus growled. "It's what's expected of her, and anyone else with good sense."

Sirius rolled his eyes and mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like "tetchy, ungrateful werewolf," before he fetched them each a steaming bowl of Molly's stew.

As he ate, Remus felt the warmth settle in his body, suddenly grateful that Tonks had come to get him. The food was doing wonders for his mood. Every so often, he caught Tonks looking at him with curiosity in her eyes. He averted his eyes every time that happened; it wouldn't be long, he knew, until the curiosity was replaced with revulsion.

Molly cleared the plates, taking care to ask Remus if he needed anything more. Though he replied that he didn't, Molly placed three small bottles of Pain Relief Potion in front of him, and a fresh loaf of sourdough bread. By now, Remus had become convinced that Molly could've cheerfully mothered anything, including Dark creatures such as himself.

Remus barely kept his eyes open as the meeting progressed; when he was healed from his injuries that evening, he would ask Sirius for notes. He felt the wolf at the back of his mind, slowly creeping into his consciousness. It would only be a few more hours before he would be in the cellar and throwing himself against the walls in an effort to escape.

When the meeting was over, Molly and the others cleaned up around him. Only Molly went anywhere near him, offering him a soft pat on the shoulder on her way to pick up what remained of the sourdough loaf. He flinched at the touch, and Molly flushed, looking guilty.

A shadow stood before Remus now, and he was surprised to see Tonks there, holding out her hand to him. "I know you said you don't need help, so I won't offer it, but I hope tonight goes okay." She held her hand out steady. "Till we meet again for our mission next week, yeah?"

Remus blinked, startled, and Sirius elbowed him softly, pointing his head in Tonks' direction. Her hand was still held out for him to shake. Sirius grunted at him, and Remus reluctantly shook Tonks' hand, feeling the gentle warmth of her hand for the second time that evening.

She smiled softly at him, looking pleased with herself. "It was nice to meet you, Remus. I look forward to working together."

Remus nodded, unsure of what to say. His hand still felt warm from hers; if he thought hard enough, he could still feel the slight tingle it had left behind on his scarred flesh.

Tonks, by now, had clunked her way up the stairs, leaving Molly, Remus, and Sirius alone in the kitchen.

"Remus, do you need anything else, dear?" Molly asked kindly. "Do you have everything you need for tonight?"

"I do, thank you, Molly." Remus fought the urge to roll his eyes. He had learned better than to argue with the matronly witch, especially if he took away an opportunity for her to coddle him.

"I've placed a few more blankets for you in that cellar. It's too cold for my liking. If you need a Warming Charm, please do let me know," Molly added, tsking under her breath. Sirius held in a laugh; Remus was already hot and flushed from the upcoming transformation. The cold cellar would only be helpful ahead of the rise of the moon.

"I'll be fine, Molly, but thank you as always for your kindness," Remus said, his voice now gravelly and hoarse. Molly turned back to busy herself with the dishes, and Remus prepared himself for the full moon.

…..

A week later, Remus was feeling significantly better and was now looking forward to his first overnight mission for the Order, accompanied by none other than Tonks. He Apparated to the assigned spot a few minutes early, waiting for her to arrive.

"Wotcher, Remus." He whipped around to see Tonks already waiting for him. Her hair was up in a bun tonight, the color a midnight blue. It took a moment for him to recognize her, as her features were vastly different than they were the week before.

"Oh, right," Tonks said, looking at his presumably baffled expression. She scrunched her nose and her features returned to those he remembered. "Sorry about that. I just came off an assignment and wasn't supposed to be noticed. How do I look now?"

Remus stammered, unsure of how to reply. Was she looking for a compliment, or…?

"Nice? You look nice?" Remus finally said. She laughed, holding his forearm for support. He flinched again at her touch, having put her soft, warm hand on his scarred forearm. He felt instantly regretful he'd forgotten to unroll his sleeves before this mission.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh at you. I meant to ask if I look normal to you, but you've only met me once so you probably didn't know how to reply," Tonks said, now chuckling softly to herself. "This is what I like to look like most days." Her hand was now off of Remus' forearm, and he found himself missing the contact against his skin, absurd as the thought was.

"Oh, um. Okay." Remus felt awkward; Tonks wasn't like anyone he'd met before, especially someone who knew he was a werewolf. She was…casual? Comfortable with him?

"All right, I think I'm done making a fool of myself, we should go," Tonks said, now serious. "Mad-Eye gave me an Invisibility Cloak for the night till we get there. C'mon." She held the cloak out, putting herself under it, and gesturing for him to join her underneath it.

He stood, fixed to the spot, panicking. This was a trap; he was certain it was a trap. No respectable witch or wizard would decide to become that close to a known werewolf.

"C'mere, Remus, I won't bite," Tonks teased. "Unless you're the one that bites…oh, shit, oh that came out wrong. I've buggered it up already, haven't I?" She was making some sort of anxious squeaking noise under her breath.

It was Remus' turn to laugh at the ludicrousness of the situation. She was apologizing to him!

"Shit, Remus, I'm so sorry," Tonks said. "I didn't mean it. Well, I did, but not like that, not in the…you know, the…"

He laughed again, and it took a moment for him to calm down enough to speak properly. "Tonks, it's quite all right. I'm not offended in the least. You remind me of my friends, when we were kids and they had just found out about me. It's been a while since anyone's reacted like that to me."

Tonks had a blank expression on her face, and Remus stepped a little closer. To his surprise, yet again, she didn't back away under the cloak. "If you'd like, I can disillusion myself instead of going under the cloak with you," he offered, wondering why he hadn't thought of that before.

"The cloak's plenty big for two," Tonks said, looking relieved, and smiling at him. "No need to busy yourself with a charm. Just catch me if I trip over something, yeah?"

Remus stiffened but followed her under the Cloak as they walked towards the small safe house that had been arranged for them that evening, to keep an eye on a wealthy wizarding family known for supporting Death Eaters financially, without being marked themselves.

As they moved, Remus felt self-conscious at how close they were. He had forgotten to roll down his sleeves, leading Tonks' bare arm to brush against his repeatedly. He winced at the thought of what she might feel – webs of silvery scars – against her own unblemished, unmarred skin.

As self-conscious as he felt over the scars, it filled his chest with warmth to be so close to her. The brushing of her skin against his felt foreign, as if it shouldn't be there, despite the pleasant, warm sensation it brought him.

"We're here, I think," Tonks whispered. He looked to their left to see a nondescript row home that appeared to be missing a front door. He stared at the spot where the door should be, and before his eyes, a door materialized, with a phoenix-shaped knocker on it.

"This looks right," Remus replied. Tonks led them towards the door, and she placed her hand on the knocker.

"Did anyone tell you how to get in here?" she whispered, alarmed that it wasn't opening.

"Cockroach clusters," Remus said, and the door's lock clicked, allowing them in. As soon as Tonks closed the door behind her, she tossed the Invisibility Cloak aside.

"How did you know that?" she demanded.

"Lucky guess," Remus said wryly, as Tonks stared at him in disbelief. "No, really. Albus is known to have passwords after the names of sweets. It was my first guess."

"Brilliant!" Tonks held up her palm to him, grinning widely. Remus was confused, wondering what she was trying to do. "It's a high-five, silly." She took him by the wrist and slapped his palm against hers. "See? Like that." She turned around and began unpacking her rucksack and preparing their space for the night.

Remus felt his ears burning, both at how stupid he looked for being confused by a high-five of all things, and again, at the pleasantness of the human contact between them. He was stunned by how often and how willingly she touched him, seemingly without a second thought.

He watched as she worked efficiently to set up their supplies for the overnight mission. Though he had gotten the impression that she was clumsy, she was careful and quick in arranging their things.

"I think I got it all," she said, glancing up at him. "Does this look right? It's my first mission, but I don't want to make any more of a fool of myself than I have to."

"You're doing really well," Remus said truthfully. "I'm impressed."

Tonks beamed, and gestured for him to join her on the blanket, facing the windows. The safe house was no more than a tiny studio flat on the lower level of the building, with two small windows that overlooked the street ahead of them. Remus figured the flat had once been part of a larger home that had been separated to make flats years before.

He sat on the opposite edge of the blanket, careful to give Tonks as much distance as possible for her comfort.

"Why are you all the way over there?" Tonks asked, cocking her head to one side. "Take that side, in front of the other window." Remus winced, and made his way to where Tonks suggested, which meant he was shoulder-to-shoulder with her.

Once more, he felt the warmth of her body next to his, and it filled him with something pleasant. She was staring ahead, keeping her eyes steady on the street.

It was only minutes later that he realized he hadn't taken his eyes off of her, or his mind off the soothing rhythm of her breath next to his.

Swallowing hard, he forced his eyes ahead and vowed to keep his mind occupied with other, more pressing matters.

…..

Remus had been on fourteen more overnight missions with Tonks (not that he'd been counting, if he was asked). Each time, his feelings towards her had gotten more complicated. He had come to a few conclusions regarding the feisty, young Auror and his impressions of her. First, she was either fearless or careless with her personal safety. He had arrived at this assessment after countless times she'd gone out of her way to touch him. She was friendly with everyone, he knew, but only someone who was fearless, careless, or both would knowingly and willingly touch a werewolf so often. It either had to be a blatant disregard for her personal safety or daft.

Second, as much as her touch baffled him, he longed for it. He looked forward to their overnight missions together, or any time when she would be around Grimmauld Place, if only for the human contact she afforded him. He was ashamed to admit how much it improved his mood or made him feel better – it made him feel more human if he were honest with himself. A hollowness had settled inside him for too many years, and each time she touched his arm, hand, or once, patted his cheek affectionately, his entire body felt as if it had been electrified.

Lastly, and more alarmingly, he realized he longed for more than just her touch. He longed for her. It had only taken a few weeks for him to realize how his heart raced whenever she was in the same room. Every time they were paired for an overnight mission together, his heart leapt, rejoicing for another opportunity to be near her. She was funny, kind, clever, and most of all, despite the absurdity of the situation, did not shy away from him due to his lycanthropy.

If she did, he concluded, she was very good at hiding it, or had inherited whatever trait Sirius had that made him immune to the dangers of a werewolf friend.

He had considered, on more than one occasion, asking Dumbledore to send him to the werewolf camps to distance himself from Tonks. But, with how few Order members there were, and his joy at having Sirius back in his life, he convinced himself to stay where he was, even if his heart ached at the thought that any day, Tonks would announce her engagement to some faceless, handsome Auror and break his heart without ever knowing or suspecting it.

It would be worth it, Remus thought, if Voldemort would be defeated. He would return to his previous lonely, touch-starved, Tonks-less life, but without the threat of Death Eaters plaguing the wizarding world.

"Remus, there you are!" Tonks' bubbly voice interrupted his melancholy thoughts.

"Tonks. I wasn't expecting you till the meeting later," Remus said, startled. "Our mission doesn't start till nightfall."

"I know, but I got off work early and wanted to see you." She grinned at him, her bubblegum pink fringe flopping over her forehead, and made her way to sit across from him in the library.

Remus sat in stunned silence as she looked at him, smile still plastered to her face. "You wanted to see…me?"

"Yeah, you! We're friends, aren't we?"

"Friends?"

"Unless you'd like to be something else," Tonks suggested lightly, as Remus' heart skipped a beat, "We're friends." Remus darted his eyes around the library, realizing that outside of their overnight missions, he had never been alone with her before…except that time the night of the full moon in which he'd been an utter arsehole to her thanks to his pre-moon temper.

"I'm sorry," Remus blurted, which caused Tonks to perk an eyebrow up at him.

"For what?"

"The first night we met…I was indefensibly rude to you. I hate to blame it on the, err, moon—" Remus winced as he said this. He knew he shouldn't care what Tonks thought about him. He knew that she would never care for him the way he'd come to care for her, given his lycanthropy. No amount of hiding his affliction would change his reality. He cleared his throat, and continued.

"—but I get a little tetchy before a transformation. I'm sorry." Remus grimaced, and looked anywhere but at Tonks.

"I know," Tonks said simply. "Sirius told me you get really bad PMS, which, let me tell you, I thought was a completely different problem." She giggled, as he looked up to see her still smiling and not running in the other direction. "He called it pre-moon syndrome and said to ignore whatever you say the day before the full moon because you don't mean any of it."

"Did he," Remus said, through gritted teeth. "How considerate of him."

"I told him you were probably grumpy 'cause I scared you and you slammed back in the chair, and I was probably too loud for you, or in your way," Tonks babbled on. "A lot of people find me annoying at first so it's fine. I think you like me enough by now if we're friends, yeah?"

Remus could hardly believe that she thought she had annoyed him; it had been his own fault he'd been so cruel, rather than anything she'd done. "No. Tonks, you were nothing but kind to me. I've never disliked you."

Tonks brightened even more and made her way to where Remus was sitting, to hug him tightly. The feeling of her whole body pressed against his produced the most wonderful sensation in his chest. She had wrapped her arms around his neck, as he was still seated, while she stood.

"Aren't you going to hug me back?" Tonks said, in mock indignation. She stepped back from him, with her hands on her hips. Remus' mouth felt dry but he stood gingerly, looking her in the eyes.

He hesitated for a moment before wrapping his arms around her. She sunk into the hug, pressing herself against his chest, eliciting another surge of pleasant warmth there. He couldn't remember the last time he hugged someone other than Sirius, and that realization made him hold onto Tonks with more urgency, as if she would slip out of his arms at any moment.

Remus shamelessly buried his face in her hair, inhaling her gentle aroma. As he stood with her in his arms, his heart ached, knowing that one day she would be married to someone else and life circumstances would lead him back to loneliness.

Tonks broke the hug, and his body grew cold at her absence. She was still smiling at him, and reached up a hand to pat his cheek affectionately before plopping back down on her chair.

"You give the best hugs," she said happily. "Has anyone ever told you that?"

Remus shook his head slightly, feeling almost dizzy from the surge of affection he felt for her in the moment. "No. I'm not what most people would describe as a 'hugger,' if that makes sense."

"What a shame. That was a great hug. Is that why you didn't want me helping you that time we met? Are you one of those 'no touchy' people?"

Remus stared at her blankly. "I thought you might've been, but maybe that's what you want other people to think. Tough on the outside, but you're just a cuddly teddy bear on the inside, huh?"

He continued staring at her in disbelief. On the 'outside' he looked human most days; on the 'inside' cursed blood ran through his veins that made him a monster once a month.

"Well, your secret's safe with me," Tonks continued, winking at him. "As long as I get to hug you whenever I want, you'll be a cuddly teddy bear to me and a tough bloke to everyone else. Deal?"

Remus' mouth opened and closed. Tonks didn't give him a chance to agree with her proposition as she got up to hug him again, and this time his arms went around her abdomen of their own accord, drawing her close. The feeling of her close to his body so soon was intoxicating; he already feared its loss.

Tonks went back to her chair and grinned at him. "See? I knew it! You're just a cuddly teddy bear underneath that 'tough guy' exterior. I should've known, with all those cozy jumpers you wear."

Remus looked down at his threadbare jumper, patched in various places and darned more times than he could count. "So, do we have a deal? I get to hug you whenever I want and I don't tell anyone else you're a big softie?" she asked. Her eyes were gleaming with mischief, and Remus felt his own lips curl into a smile.

Tonks whooped with joy and let her head fall back in delighted laughter.

As he watched her, he made two catastrophic realizations. He didn't just long for her. Nor did he merely relish her presence. He finally understood why he always felt flutters in his abdomen when she was around; he was hopelessly in love with Nymphadora Tonks. Most catastrophic of all, there was nothing he could do about it.

What had started as a simple gesture – a hand to help him up the night of the full moon – had turned into hopeless, devastating, unrequited love.

Tonks launched into another lively story about her workday, and Remus felt himself settle into his new reality. As much as it pained him to know that his love would only ever be one-sided, he would enjoy the time he had with her while it lasted. Happiness was always fleeting; this friendship would be, too.