Prompt: Remus and Tonks wonder what it would be like to kiss each other, but have no idea they're pining after each other. What happens when they each try to give into their hidden desires? OoTP-era Remadora one-shot. Very fluffy.
Nymphadora Tonks was very good at flustering Remus Lupin. He was certain she didn't realize how good she was at it – otherwise, he thought, she would stop doing the strangest things at Grimmauld Place that drove him wild with restrained desire for her.
One such behavior was her uncanny, baffling ability to fall asleep in any place at Headquarters, in any position, and at any time of the day.
Remus suspected it had to do with her unusual Auror schedule, made worse by the recent mass breakout from Azkaban. The Aurors were running ragged, and Tonks was no exception.
She had always been good at falling asleep in unusual places. Just after Remus first met her, she had fallen asleep at the wooden dining table in the kitchen at Grimmauld Place. Remus fetched Molly to assist, as he barely knew the young woman and didn't want to startle her awake himself.
Finding Tonks asleep became a somewhat regular occurrence. The first few times, Remus was able to find another Order member to help. The next few times, once they'd gotten to know each other a little better, he shook her gently awake.
Lately, with her erratic and chockablock schedule, she was as difficult to wake as he was after a full moon.
When she fell asleep on a sofa in the library, he merely covered her with a warm blanket and let her sleep peacefully. He was ashamed to admit that he watched her sleep while pretending to read. It was one of the few times he felt almost comfortable staring at her face. If no one was around – and hardly anyone was, lately – he passed the minutes or hours by glancing up from his book every so often to see her frustratingly beautiful face rest in sleep.
It made him feel ashamed, dirty, and lecherous, but he couldn't stop himself from doing it. He tried to stay away from her, but a niggling feeling in the back of his mind told him to keep an eye on her and make sure she was resting while she had the chance. He always had a cup of tea waiting for her whenever she woke.
It was what good colleagues did for each other, he'd decided. She always had a fresh cup of tea for him after a full moon. He appreciated the thought, despite the fact that her tea-making skills were abysmal.
When she fell asleep at the dining table, he knew he was in greater trouble. She'd long since told him that if she fell asleep there, to please wake her or move her head so she wouldn't wake up with a sore neck or back.
He wasn't sure if she was doing it purposefully, but she was falling asleep at the dining table more often lately.
It began when she insisted on staying up to help him finish writing reports for the Order from their shared missions.
He was the writer and gladly did the paperwork. She hated paperwork for her job, anyway. Despite his insistence he could do the reports alone, she insisted on keeping him company. Lately, keeping him company meant she fell asleep at the table.
There had been two incidents so far that led him to pick her up and take her upstairs to a bed, rather than wake her and let her walk on her own.
Tonks was notoriously clumsy. The clumsiness was exacerbated by her sleepiness. The last two times Remus had woken her after she stayed up with him to finish reports, he'd woken her and helped her up the stairs. Both times, she'd tripped over herself and fallen back against him, leading them both to fall back downstairs in a heap of limbs and body heat.
It had done nothing to clamp down his desire for her, which had been steadily growing for months by that point.
He had once attempted to levitate her up the stairs, but had accidentally knocked her head against the wall and felt guilty for days for hurting her, despite her reassurances that a bump on the head was the least of her concerns.
Remus now scooped her up into his arms to bring her upstairs whenever she waited up for him to finish reports, or when she fell asleep at the table.
The first time he held her in his arms, he almost dropped her when he realized his hand was a little too close to her bum for his liking.
The second time, she'd been wearing a low-cut shirt that led his eyes to graze down to her slightly exposed chest. He'd taken a painfully cold shower immediately after putting a blanket on her that time.
He now descended the steps to the kitchen to find the source of his frustrated desires blissfully asleep on the floor, of all places, just in front of the fireplace.
Her hair was its usual bubblegum pink and her cheeks were a lovely, rosy color from the heat of the fire. He hardly considered the stone floor would be comfortable, even if she'd cast a Cushioning Charm on it.
The grandfather clock upstairs chimed; it was two o'clock in the morning. He couldn't leave her there, and it was late enough that picking her up would be the best option.
He silently thanked the fates above that she was wearing jeans and an oversized jumper, as it covered her body from his lustful, wandering eyes. He didn't fancy another cold, late night shower in the middle of February, anyway.
Remus walked quietly toward her. He bent down and scooped her up into his arms and held her against his chest. This close to the full moon, her delicate scent was bordering on intoxicating. He clamped down his desire and began walking upstairs to take her to one of the spare rooms.
As he walked up, her hair shifted to its natural mousy brown. He only ever saw it when she was in a deep slumber and her morphing relaxed. Her cheeks were still rosy, as were her lips.
He tried not to dwell on how lovely they were, either.
Tonks made soft moaning sounds as he walked her upstairs. The sounds' effects were immediate on his body.
He would be taking another freezing, late-night shower before bed. Again.
At long last, he brought her up to a bed and placed her gently on it. He took her boots off – the clunky things saved her feet from being broken as she tripped over herself, but did nothing to help her balance.
Tonks made another devastatingly arousing moaning sound in her sleep. Her hair fell over her face and eyes. Remus reached out a hand to move it aside to steal one more glance at her before heading into the cold shower that awaited him.
His thumb just barely brushed her lips as he moved her hair aside. They were impossibly soft under the pad of his thumb.
His palm lingered on her cheek after he tucked the tuft of hair behind her ear. It too was soft.
He wondered in that moment what her lips would feel like against his. He stared at them with increasing desire. They were just barely parted and oh-so-close to his own.
Just this once, he thought.
He bent his head down and brought his lips to hers. They were just as soft as he imagined, and his thumb grazed her cheek as he deepened the kiss.
Another soft moan emerged from the back of her throat and he froze, staggering backwards away from her. Tonks smiled softly and sighed before burying her head into the pillow.
She wouldn't be smiling if she knew what he just did.
Remus was horrified with himself. He had kissed her. He had put his hand on her beautiful, soft face. He'd put his cursed lips on her perfect, rosy lips…and he was aroused to the point of pain.
He ran out of the room and rushed upstairs. It was time for the coldest shower of his life.
….
Tonks could have sworn Remus kissed her. She'd fallen asleep somewhere at Grimmauld Place again – hopefully, not with any food in her hair, as had been an unfortunate occurrence after finishing one of Molly's homemade meals in her current state of sleep deprivation – and woken up in one of the spare bedrooms.
It wasn't unusual to wake up in a place she didn't remember going to. She had always been a heavy sleeper; between the Order missions and her workload from the Ministry, she felt like she was barely functioning as a human.
She was nothing but grateful to Remus Lupin over the last several weeks. The man was endlessly kind and thoughtful, which only increased her aching desire for him. He made sure she was covered with a warm blanket, brought up to sleep somewhere safe and cozy, and even had a perfect cup of tea waiting for her whenever she woke.
Tonks felt woefully inadequate as a friend and colleague compared to him, so she'd taken to preparing him cups of tea after the full moon. She knew they weren't anywhere near as good as his, but he always had one before going up to bed. She also waited up for him whenever he wrote reports. She told herself it was to ensure that he had company those late nights, but she would be lying to herself if she said it was the only reason.
She happened to like watching Remus write reports. She took enjoyment of watching his large, scarred hands move a quill across parchment. His long fingers had been the subject of one too many daydreams, as were his lips. He had the most adorable habit of nibbling on the end of the quill when he was thinking hard.
She wished he was nibbling on her instead.
Every time these highly inappropriate thoughts came up, she forced herself to think of anything else. She was embarrassed to admit how often she had to redirect her thoughts during Order meetings after ogling Remus throughout them. Thank Merlin he never looked her way during those meetings or he'd find her practically drooling for him.
She already drooled for him in her sleep, if her recent, graphic dreams had anything to say for it.
The most recent, graphic dream had been of him kissing her in the spare bedroom at Grimmauld Place. His hand was pressed up against her cheek. It was large, warm, and a little calloused, but it had moved so tenderly against her face. If she thought hard enough, she could almost imagine the feel of the pad of his thumb moving across her cheekbone.
There was the kiss itself. His firm, full lips pressed against hers…his hand holding her cheek…even the little, breathy moan that she could've sworn she heard in her dream. It couldn't have been reality, she decided, as the Remus she knew would never be interested in her.
He was a proper, professional man who took his work seriously. She was professional too, less the highly inappropriate naps she took all over Grimmauld Place, or the often graphic thoughts she had for one of her Order colleagues.
Her latest dream had felt so real. She could almost feel his hand and lips on her face. She was sure she moaned in her sleep, and hoped desperately that no one heard her. She'd been told she sometimes talked in her sleep, too. She'd be devastated if any of her Order colleagues – especially Remus – heard his name in between her unconscious moans.
A sexually frustrated young Auror wasn't exactly what the Order needed, anyway.
Days after the realistic dream-kiss, it was the morning after the full moon. Tonks decided to pay Remus a visit. She knew he would never admit it, but he liked having company after the full moon or while writing reports. He always insisted he could do it alone, but the wide smile he had upon seeing her was always enough to set her heart racing.
She knocked on his door, but he didn't answer. Not unusual, she thought. If he was sleeping, he'd be out for several hours. She slowly opened the door to find him propped up against a few fluffy pillows in his bed, shirtless and healing.
She bit her bottom lip hard to keep from whimpering at the sight of his bare chest. She had never seen him shirtless before.
His torso was crossed with various scars. Some were newer, while some had been there for decades. A sizable, faded jaw mark lay just underneath his right ribs.
The scars faded into the background as she looked at his chest more closely. His shoulders were wide and muscular. His pectoral and abdominal muscles were better defined than she expected. Sandy, golden brown hair lay on his chest, forming a line to his belly button and beyond.
Tonks didn't want to dwell on what lay beyond.
She focused her efforts on keeping quiet as she gaped at his chest and shoulders. He was sleeping peacefully and was blissfully unaware of his colleague-come-friend ogling him shamelessly.
She stepped a little closer. She was close enough now that her hand could reach the fine hairs on his chest. She wondered if they would be coarse or soft. She wondered how his skin would feel under her hand. She longed to run her fingers down his chest and over his shoulders to feel the muscles underneath them.
After the full moon, Remus was usually dead to the world. It couldn't hurt if she touched him just a little…to check on his wounds?
She reached out a shaky hand and placed it on his warm, strong shoulder. He let out a soft moan and she retracted her hand instantly, as if she'd burned it. He shifted slightly but returned to his breathing.
Be cool, Tonks, be cool, she thought to herself.
She stepped a little closer and brought her hand back to his shoulder. It was warm and muscular and she let her finger trace a faint scar from his collarbone to his sternum. Her fingers now touched the fine hair on his chest. She wanted to run both her hands through the hair, but that would be too much.
Instead, she let her hand drift up to his cheek. She felt the scars under her thumb as she gently grazed the skin of his face. Her thumb wandered towards his lips.
Tonks wondered if they were as soft and firm as her imagination had made them out to be in her dream-kiss with him. His lower lip was fuller than his upper lip. They were parted as he breathed evenly in sleep. She licked her lips as she imagined what it would be like to taste him.
Self-control had never been her strong suit. She threw caution to the wind and brought her face until it was close enough to his that she could see all the fine lines on his.
"Remus?" Tonks whispered. She couldn't risk him waking up.
To her horror, his eyes fluttered open upon hearing his name. She flinched, afraid she'd been caught in her inappropriate behavior.
"T-Tonks?"
She opened her mouth to explain herself but before the words could come out, a pair of soft, firm lips were being pressed against hers. She stiffened and her eyes widened in disbelief.
"Oh, fuck, this is real," Remus gasped, pulling away from her. "I'm so sorry, Tonks, I don't know what came over me." He backed away in the bed, wincing, and covered his face with his hands.
"Please forgive me…I wasn't quite awake, you must understand I'd never…" Remus was bright red and stammering as Tonks continued gaping at him, dumbfounded.
"Remus? Did…did you want to kiss me?"
"No! No, I didn't, I'm so sorry. You must think…oh it doesn't matter. Please forgive me, Tonks."
"Err, it's all right," Tonks said awkwardly, unsure of how to explain her thoughts. She struggled not to let the disappointment show on her face. He hadn't wanted to kiss her…he likely thought she was someone else, and he was horrified with what he'd done.
After a moment of hesitation, she added, "It was nice? It was…nice."
"Merlin, I'm so ashamed of myself," Remus said, whimpering. "I don't know what came over me."
"Erm, it's okay?" Tonks bit her lip; of all the first kisses she'd ever had, none had been as disastrous as this one. One of his fluffy pillows had fallen to the floor in his haste, and he looked even less comfortable than before. He was punishing himself for kissing her, when she'd been the one to put him in that position.
The least she could do was fetch the pillow.
"It's okay, really," Tonks assured. She bent over to get the pillow and reached behind Remus to place it behind his shoulders. She winced as she realized her chest pressed against his face.
So much for staying cool.
"Is…is that all right?" Tonks asked, just a few inches from his face, once she'd put the pillow back where it belonged. Why the man had to be so fit, kind, and wonderful was beyond her comprehension. He was driving her wild with desire.
"More than all right," he said hoarsely, as he looked up into her eyes. His pupils were wide; Tonks noticed her lips in their inky black reflection.
Was it possible he lied? Tonks wondered. Maybe it would make him feel better if I made a fool of myself too.
She closed the space between their faces and put her lips back on his. This time, he stiffened for a moment before moving his lips against hers. She sighed happily and sunk in. If this meant she made a fool of herself for him, she wanted to do it more often.
They kissed for a few seconds until Remus pulled away. His lips were slightly swollen and his pupils still wide.
"Did – did you mean to do that?"
Tonks nodded, feeling the blush creep over her cheeks.
"I wanted to—"
"—you did?" Remus asked, interrupting her from explaining that she wanted to make him feel better about his own mishap, even if she thought his lips had been marvelous against her own.
"You've no idea how long I've wanted to do that," Remus said softly. He reached for her hand as she stared at him, gobsmacked.
"You have? Why didn't you say anything?"
"I didn't think you wanted it…or me?"
"Of course I wanted to kiss you! I've been gagging for you for months!"
Remus' face split into a giddy, boyish smile. "You have?"
"Looks like we have a lot to talk about, Remus Lupin," Tonks said sternly. He was surprised for a moment before bursting into laughter.
"Looks like we do," Remus murmured. "Stay with me a while?"
Tonks beamed, feeling the joy wash over her body. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be."
