As soon as the bus stopped outside their hotel, Jane rushed outside and to one certain baggage room. They always took turns loading and unloading the bags, and this time it was Jane's turn. She smiled as she opened the hatch and started pulling out the black bags.
She had arrived at the airport in Boston with Heather and Nicole, like always, and met up with the rest of the team and staff inside. While everyone else was talking and saying 'hi', Jane had quietly searched for Maura in the crowd. When their eyes had met, Jane let her face and smile convey just what she felt by seeing the doctor again. She didn't even care if someone saw her, she just wanted Maura to know.
Jane had made sure to see in which compartment Maura's suitcase ended up when they loaded the bus after landing in North Carolina. Her reward was being able to give Maura her suitcase, and she was sure as hell not gonna let that opportunity pass by. When Maura stepped off the bus and headed towards her, Jane had already taken the suitcase out and put it down on the ground. She extended the handle and smiled at Maura. "Here you go."
"Thank you" Maura smiled back. She reached for the handle, but Jane didn't let go and Maura ended up covering Jane's fingers. Jane kept her eyes on Maura, not smiling, not showing any kind of feelings. Maura looked at their hands before she drew in a deep breath and walked away. Jane smiled and looked back at the rest of the bags that still had to be unloaded. It was a workout for sure, but damn, it was worth it now.
Jane and Nicole took turns shooting at the goal while they waited for everyone to change and enter the ice for practice. Most of the girls were already on the ice, but some were still missing, including the goalies.
"It's no challenge without a goalie" Jane sighed and passed the puck over to Nicole.
She fired off a shot that hit the crossbar and skyrocketed. They both watched it fall back to the ice and Nicole shook her head in frustration.
"Well, perhaps it's a challenge for a certain someone" Jane snickered.
"Shut up, asshole" Nicole mumbled and reached for a new puck. "Not everyone can be the superstar, someone has to actually give you all those brilliant passes so you can score." She sent a hard pass towards Jane who had no problem getting the puck into the net.
"True" Jane nodded. "So you should be glad you're at least good at that!" She ignored the glare from her friend. "So, I was bored last night and did some research. Did you know that there are a lot of players who might be free agents this summer?" She tried to keep her smile tucked away, not wanting Nicole to be suspicious, because of course Jane had a reason for bringing it up.
"That's what you do when you're bored? Are you preparing for what you are gonna do after your career already?" Nicole teased back.
Jane went over to the goal and scooped out the pucks with her stick while faking a laugh. "Okay now I don't even feel bad for bringing it up" she smirked.
Nicole was instantly alert. "What?"
"A certain Shark might be a free agent…" Jane smiled as Nicole groaned. "Wouldn't it be fun if Chris decided to sign her?"
"Seriously?!" Nicole laughed. "Can you please let that go soon?" She tried to stop all the pucks that Jane were sending her way.
"Hell no!" Jane laughed. "I will never let that go. Not when you're so stupid to crush on a straight girl. On another team!"
Nicole's face turned into a huge grin and she took a few strides to get closer to Jane. "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw rocks…"
"What?" Jane laughed. Nicole just smiled as she skated back to the pucks. Jane went over the sentence and shook her head when she connected the dots. "No way. I'm not… living in a glass house" she smiled.
"Uh huh…"
"I'm not." Jane skated over to Nicole and stopped by her side. "She is not straight. Trust me, I know! Straight girls don't make out with other girls…"
Nicole looked up as Jane stole one of the pucks. "Okay, good point, but you should still not throw rocks!"
Jane laughed while she stole more pucks and placed them on a line. "Are you talking in metaphors right now, or are you trying to lecture me about throwing rocks?"
"I have no idea" Nicole admitted and watched as Jane started moving one puck in between all the others, showing an impressive stick handling. She loved watching Jane show off her skills, even if it was done on purpose or at practice like that.
"Anyway" Jane continued as she finished through the last two pucks, all of them still in a perfect line and untouched, and looked up. "Back to the subject… what will you do if… wait, what was her name? Pam? Paula? It was something on P."
Nicole shrugged. "I don't know…"
"Bullshit" Jane scoffed. "You know!" She poked Nicole with the stick while grinning. "You so know. What's her name? Paige? Patricia? Polly?"
Nicole tried to ignore it, but Jane was too annoying. Eventually she looked up and smiled. "Peyton" she almost whispered.
"Peyton! Of course! Thanks. So… what if she ends up in Boston next season? What are you gonna do?"
"First of all, you are way ahead of things… Second, if she does end up here, I'm probably gonna play like shit." Nicole looked down at the line of pucks and decided to give it a shot. She breathed out before she moved the puck between the first two. Between the next two she lost control and ended up sending the wrong puck down the ice. She looked up at Jane who was grinning. "See? I rest my case…"
Jane stepped out of the elevator, hands shoved in her pockets and heading towards her room when she ran into Maura near a corner. Jane smiled and wondered for a brief moment if she should stop or not. She decided not to. "Hey gorgeous" she said casually and kept walking. She had really come to love flirting with the doctor, mostly because it still made Maura lose her focus for a moment.
"Jane. Wait."
Of course, Jane still couldn't fight that ridiculous spell she was under and did exactly as Maura said. She stopped and turned around.
"Are you flirting with me?" Maura asked and took a step closer. She was almost whispering.
"If you have to ask I'm obviously not doing it right" Jane replied with a smile.
Maura shook her head and sighed. "Why are you doing this, Jane?"
Everything suddenly became very real, and Jane lost her smile. Because of Danielle and her speeches, Jane hadn't even considered the possibility that they were wrong, that Maura actually didn't want this. "You know why" Jane answered. She leaned her shoulder against the wall and watched as Maura looked up and down the hall, to make sure no one could hear them.
"You shouldn't." Maura mimicked Jane's position and looked at her.
"Well, I can't help it. I'm not over you…" When Maura closed her eyes, Jane moved a step closer to her. She watched as her own hand reached up and pushed the hair back from Maura's face. "It doesn't matter what you say" she said when Maura was about to speak. "It won't change anything. I'm not over you. And frankly, I don't want to be over you." Jane swallowed and realized she had just said the most honest and real words in a long time.
Maura looked up at Jane, her eyes showing mixed emotions, but she didn't say anything.
Jane let her fingers slide over a cheek and down to Maura's chin, her eyes following every move. When Maura still didn't say anything, Jane took it as a sign to make a move. She slowly leaned in, her eyes locked on Maura's lips, but the doctor declined by lowering her head. Jane ended up resting her lips against Maura's forehead and sighed. "I know you have feelings for me" she whispered. "I just want to start over."
"I'm not sure I can" Maura said with sadness, at the same time resting her hands on Jane's hips and making everything even more confusing for both of them.
"Why not?" Jane lifted her head and made Maura look at her. "Why can't we try?"
"We work together, Jane. We see each other every day, and I'm still your doctor. What if this doesn't work out? What if everything just becomes complicated and awkward? You have so much success right now, and there's just too much on the line here."
"How about we deal with that if it happens?" Jane asked and tried to ignore the thumb making small circles against her hip. "There are twenty teams in this league. Boston is just one of them. And… why shouldn't this work out?"
"You're still so young!" Maura said louder, but instantly lowered her voice. "I know, you don't think the age difference is an issue, but you are just 22. For me, 7 years are a lot, especially in your 20's. I don't even know if we have anything in common besides the team. I don't know you at all outside the rink."
"Fine" Jane said and let her hand run down Maura's arm until she covered the hand on her hip. "Then let's do something about it. Let's get to know each other outside the team. Let me at least try." She covered the tiny hand in both of hers and gently squeezed it. "You won't know until you try."
Maura's eyes flickered between Jane's eyes, her shoulders and the wall for a long time. She was obviously arguing with herself, and Jane watched patiently. Finally, Maura took a deep breath before she closed her eyes and let her head fall gently against Jane's shoulder. "Just… give me some time. I need time to think."
Jane nodded before placing a soft kiss on the top of Maura's head. "Okay" she whispered. At least it wasn't a total rejection. She held on to the moment, inhaling the sweet scent of Maura's perfume until the ding of the elevator forced them apart.
Maura slowly looked up at Jane and smiled softly. "Thank you…"
Shutout
After a disappointing road trip (2 losses), the Devils were back in Boston tonight and sent Oklahoma back with no points. The Devils were aggressive and seemed to have rallied back from the losses on the road. Jessie Perry and Heather Thompson scored Boston's goals while goalie Louisa Graham earned her 7th shutout of the season.
"The girls played really great tonight, which makes my job so much easier. The defense was solid and they kept Oklahoma from shooting. I think they had something like 15 shots tonight, and none of them were huge scoring chances. I'm supposed to stop those 15 shots, so it felt good."
This was the 47th game of this season, meaning there are only five games left. Springfield is coming to town on Saturday, and is another team the Devils should beat.
Nicole
Hey, are you free tomorrow around 6-7?
Jane
As far as I know. Why?
Nicole
I was thinking maybe you could help me work on my shooting…
Jane
Sure. Is the whole 'not being able to score'-thing getting to you?
Nicole
I like to think of it as leaving the scoring to you… but yes! God, it's been nine games. I am not gonna let it be 13.
Jane
I'm pretty sure you're not gonna go through the rest of the games without a goal. But I'll help, of course. When?
Nicole
I really hope you're right… Can I get back to you on the time? Trying to make sure we can have the ice.
Jane
Yeah. Just let me know.
Jane put her phone back on the table while she smiled. Nicole had been frustrated lately after going nine games without a goal. Jane knew it was tough, especially in your first season and when it was just a handful of games left. But on the other hand, Nicole was more of a playmaker than a goal getter, and it showed in her stats. Whenever Jane scored, Nicole almost always had an assist. She was a big part of Jane's goals, and they both knew that.
After staring at the bottle of beer on the table, Jane turned her head to the kitchen. She was almost certain she had popcorn or chips or something, and it was Saturday after all. They had no practice the next day, no game until Wednesday and they had won the game against Springfield earlier in the day. She totally deserved some snacks with her beer. She almost bounced off the couch and jogged into the kitchen where she found a bag of chips. As she went back to her couch, thoughts started to race in her head.
The season was in fact coming to an end. In just under two weeks it would all be over for now, unless they somehow made it to the playoffs, and there was still a theoretical chance of that happening. With four games left, the Devils were only five points behind Maine who currently held the last playoff spot. But Jane knew it was a small chance. She knew which teams they were facing in the next games, and two of the games were against top 4 teams. Jane was pretty sure they would have a hard time getting any points from those games. And even if the Devils won their games, Maine could hold on to their spot by securing two more points.
Everyone was well aware that a playoff spot was not in the Devils' plans for the season. A rebuild took time, and if they were going to make it to the playoffs this year, it would be the cherry on top of a pretty good season. Even if they would be crushed in the first round, it'd still be admirable.
Jane hated whenever a season ended, she wasn't good at coping with all the time off during the summer, but this time there was something else that made her dread the end. There were no practices or team meetings in the offseason, not until late July when training camp begun. And that meant no Maura. Jane sat down and leaned her head back against the couch, the bag of chips still in her hand. She had no idea how to prepare for offseason. Especially not under the current circumstances, with everything seemingly up in the air.
The following day, Jane arrived at the rink just before 7, like she and Nicole had agreed. She came into the locker room and noticed Nicole's bag and clothes already there so she hurried. As she walked down the hall and towards the tunnel to the ice, she heard the distinct sounds of skates against the ice. Jane put on her gloves as she went through the tunnel, but once she got to the benches, she stopped. A pair of boots were on the floor, a purse on the bench with a carefully folded coat on top. Every possible alarm went off in Jane's head while she took a step closer to the open door and looked around the ice. In the far corner was Maura, doing pirouettes like a pro.
Jane sighed before she cleared her throat. It was so typical. Why did she have to run into the doctor on her own playing field?
Maura stopped and looked up as Jane stepped on the ice. "Jane… hi." She looked surprised.
"Hey." Jane slowly took a few strides and glided closer to the doctor. "Sorry to interrupt, I didn't know you were here."
"No problem" Maura smiled. "Are you putting in some extra hours?"
"Kinda… I promised Nicole to work on her shooting." Jane looked around when she realized Nicole wasn't there. "Have you seen her?"
Maura looked at Jane with furrowed brows before she shook her head. "No, she said she was delayed."
Jane's head whipped back to face Maura. "What?" But Maura just nodded. "How do you know?"
"Because I was supposed to meet her ten minutes ago. Here." Maura ignored the puzzled look on Jane's face and skated towards the bench.
"Uh…. Why?" Jane stuttered while she turned around and followed the doctor.
Maura stepped off and started searching through her purse. "We talked the other day and when she found out I was a figure skater, she asked if I had any tips regarding her skating. We agreed to meet tonight." She found her phone and opened the texts before handing it over to Jane.
Jane looked at the facts and scoffed. "Why would she plan to meet us at the same time?" It was like a light was turned on when Jane saw the connection. There was only one logical answer, but Jane still needed to go over it in her head. She knew she hadn't messed up the day or the time, Nicole had called her just hours ago and they were definitely meeting that night. And if Nicole had texted Maura to say she was running late… "Shit!" Jane let out a deep breath and looked up at Maura. "She set us up. Could I borrow your phone and call her? Mine's in the locker room."
Maura was obviously not following Jane's thoughts and looked confused while she nodded. "Of course."
Jane was already dialing, and for each second that went by without Nicole picking up, she got angrier. When the call went to voicemail, Jane turned away from Maura before mumbling into the phone. "You better be way outside city limits right now, cause I'm gonna kill you!" She turned back around and handed the phone back to Maura like nothing had happened, but fully aware that her voice had been easy to hear in the empty building.
"That was a bit strong, don't you think?" Maura asked and put her phone back in her purse. "And what is really going on?"
"She set us up." Jane repeated while Maura sat down on the bench.
"What do you mean?"
Jane was so used to being in the middle of it all that she forgot everything else. Maura didn't know what Nicole knew about them, and Jane felt awkward as she looked at the confused doctor. "She… she knows" she almost whispered. "About… you. And I'm pretty sure she did this just to…"
"To get you and I alone together" Maura finished for her.
"Yeah" Jane laughed nervously. "Which is why she's really in trouble right now…"
Maura smiled back at her and time seemed to slow down. They were both looking at each other, and Jane felt everything becoming tense and uncomfortable. Ever since their little chat on the road trip, Jane had become so aware of anything she did around Maura. She tried not to stare too much, she felt almost guilty if she happened to end up alone with her somewhere and always walked away from those situations. She wanted to give Maura the time she had asked for, and Jane was certainly not gonna ruin it by being her usual self.
After some awkward silence, Maura finally stood up and smiled. "Well, since I'm already here, and Nicole won't be joining us, I think I am going to take advantage of the open ice. It was really fun to skate again."
Jane nodded and watched as Maura stepped on the ice again. "Yeah, it's all yours, doc" she offered and sighed silently. "I'm gonna go. Guess I'll see you again tomorrow." She barely managed to step off the ice before Maura's voice made her stop.
"You're leaving?"
Again Jane nodded and looked over her shoulder. "Yeah… I just came because Nicole asked so…"
Maura had stopped by the mid circle on the ice. "Are you sure? We can share the ice if you want. It would be a lot nicer to have you here instead of being alone."
"I'm sure" Jane replied. She wanted to walk away, but the look on Maura's face denied her. She could tell from how the doctor's eyes were glued on her that she couldn't expect to walk away until they were done talking, and Doctor Isles was obviously not done.
Maura calmly made her way over to the benches again and stopped by the board. "Jane, have I done anything wrong? It feels like you've been avoiding me the last week."
"No, it's not that." Jane closed her eyes for a moment when she heard her own words, the wrong words.
"Then what is it? Why don't you want to be in the same room as me?"
Jane considered for a second to lie and get it over with, but when no excuse came to mind, she surrendered and sat down on the bench. She knew she was about to walk a thin line. "Have you had enough time to think?"
It only took a second before Maura looked away.
"I'm guessing no" Jane continued. "And it's okay. But until you have made up your mind about… this, I need to keep my distance from you." She paused to search for a clue that she was still on the line, only to see she was falling, fast. "And please don't take this the wrong way or feel like I'm pressuring you or anything, cause I really don't mean to. It's just that there's this… gut wrenching ache in me that I can't seem to satisfy. And every time you are too close to me, or we're alone, that ache is fighting to get free. I really, really don't want to ruin this again, and maybe that's exactly what I'm doing now, but… I don't trust myself around you right now." She struggled to keep her eyes on Maura, waiting for a reply.
Maura stood still and looked back at Jane, clearly needing time to take it all in, before she swallowed and nodded. "I understand" she said softly.
"You do?"
"Yes. And thank you for telling me. At least now I know why you're avoiding me." She tried to go for a slightly humorous approach and smile.
Jane forced a smile just to avoid any awkwardness.
"So" Maura continued. "I will see you tomorrow then. And don't be too hard on Nicole… you might want her alive for the last games of the season."
"Yeah, good point" Jane chuckled and stood up. "I'll try to remember that… thanks, doc." The smile she got in return gave her permission to leave. "Goodnight" she almost whispered and slowly turned her back.
"Goodnight, Jane."
