Prompt: All of Nymphadora Tonks's first kisses, from the sweet, to the embarrassing, to the last, and what she discovers about herself along the way.
1979
Little Shelly Sullivan was her first friend. She had wispy, blonde hair, big blue eyes, and freckles all over her nose. She wore big glasses too, which Tonks liked to try on, but she could never see out of them.
Shelly was a Muggle, and she was Nymphadora's first, and only friend, for almost seven years.
It wasn't that there weren't other boys and girls to play with. It just wasn't safe, her parents told her, but Shelly was special. Tonks didn't know why she was special, or why she was the only Muggle who Tonks could be herself around, but she was her closest and only friend until 1979, when the Sullivans moved away and never wrote back.
She remembers their last day of friendship like it was yesterday.
"Shelly, we should get married!"
"Okay!"
"How do we do it?"
"We wear veils and say I do, and then we kiss."
They put on pillowcases over their heads, said "I do," and kissed.
The next day, Shelly went away, and it was three years later when Tonks learned the truth.
Shelly's parents were Squibs, and they moved away to Australia, never to be seen or heard from again.
1986
Her first 'real' kiss happened in a bathroom cubicle when she was 14 years old. The Hufflepuffs were playing 'spin the bottle' in the second-floor girls' bathroom (Moaning Myrtle had the decency to give them space), and Tonks's spin landed on the most handsome boy in their year, Declan Macmillan.
He had thick blonde hair that flopped over his eyebrows, and crystal blue irises that Tonks lost herself in the moment she laid her eyes on him. It took all her concentration not to trip into the toilet when they locked themselves in for a kiss.
"Before we, er, you know," Declan began, as Tonks's heart began to race, "are you really a girl?"
Tonks furrowed her brow. "What do you mean?"
"You know, you . . . change." His eyes drifted down to her waist and hips.
"I can't change that." Tonks felt her cheeks flush. She'd been asked many questions about her abilities, but never questioned about her most private parts.
"Oh, good." Declan breathed a sigh of relief. "I didn't want to kiss a bloke."
"Okay?" Tonks felt less comfortable by the second.
"Could you change your hair to something else? The pink's distracting."
Tonks scrunched her eyes and matched his blonde.
"Is this okay?"
"Perfect."
He leaned in and pressed a quick, wet kiss to her lips.
It wasn't magical and it didn't feel special.
Perhaps that first kiss wouldn't count, because it was set up by a game, and not because he really wanted to kiss her.
1988
Figuring out she liked girls was almost an accident. Tonks was browsing the bookshelves in the library when she heard the most unusual sound in the next aisle. It wasn't talking and it wasn't Madam Pince shushing someone.
Her mother always said that curiosity killed the cat, but curiosity couldn't kill people, so she peered around the bookcase and saw a couple snogging. It would've been something she stuck her tongue out at and turned away from, but it was her roommate, Penny, kissing a pretty Slytherin girl, Ursula.
Tonks didn't want to look away, but when she saw Penny's hand grazing Ursula's thighs, she wondered what it would be like to do that too.
She found she rather liked the idea, and when her best friend, Sonia, returned to the dormitory that night, Tonks told her everything.
"Sonia, do you think it's better to kiss a girl or a boy?"
Sonia raised her brow. "I don't know. I've only kissed boys."
"I've never kissed a girl, except my friend Shelly, when we were six."
"That doesn't count."
"No, I s'pose it doesn't."
"Do you want to kiss a girl?"
"Maybe."
A few moments of silence passed, with neither girl looking the other in the eye.
"We could kiss," Sonia said softly, her cheeks growing pink.
"Are you sure?" Tonks was afraid of sounding too eager.
"I mean, we're just friends, so what's a kiss between friends?"
Tonks nodded. Sonia joined her on the bed and cleared her throat.
"You're sure about this, Tonks?"
"Yes."
Sonia bent down and placed a soft kiss on Tonks's mouth. It wasn't like Declan's kiss at all.
They parted and Tonks smiled.
"I think I like kissing girls."
1989
Kissing a stranger wasn't something Tonks thought she'd be doing at the tender age of seventeen, but it was the Christmas holidays and she was legally an adult in the wizarding world, so she had every right to go out with her friends, have a drink or two, and have fun on New Year's Eve.
The Weird Sisters were playing. She was hot from drinking beer and firewhisky, and dancing to the pulsating music. She felt sexy, wearing a short dress that accentuated her barely-there curves. Her mother said she was on the verge of womanhood, whatever that meant, but she didn't need a label to know she was turning heads.
A devilishly handsome wizard caught her eye. He had short, cropped hair, a ring in one of his ears, and was broad-shouldered. He had a deep, baritone voice and big, safe hands.
He said his name was K, and she said she was T. She rang in 1990 by snogging him senseless in the middle of the Twisted Talon, the pub turned club for the night.
She didn't remember much about the wizard until she showed up for her Auror training a few years later.
Kingsley Shacklebolt was an outstanding kisser, and if he remembered the night, he didn't say anything about it.
Tonks kept that first kiss to herself for the rest of time.
1991
Tonks was barely out of Hogwarts, perpetually exhausted from Auror training, but the cute barista at the coffee shop near the Ministry always winked and gave her the brightest smile. Their flirtation increased by the day until Tonks thought it couldn't get worse, but it did, drawing her further into the crush.
She was effortlessly cool, that barista. She was a Muggle, with a sleeve of tattoos up and down her left arm, piercings in her nose and ears, and a spiky haircut that Tonks liked on both of them.
It was banter, then lingering touches, lingering stares, until finally it was Tonks's heart beating wildly every time she went into the coffee shop, hoping she'd see the cute barista, whose name tag read "Evelyn."
There was one day that Tonks went to the coffee shop, but Evelyn wasn't there. Disappointed (as that was the cheeriest part of the day, before Mad-Eye made a puppet out of her), she went outside with her coffee, where Evelyn was waiting.
Tonks froze, almost spilling coffee all over herself, but Evelyn caught her hand and put a scrap of paper in it.
It was a telephone number, and thanks to her Muggleborn dad, Tonks used the first payphone she saw on her way home from work. She prayed that Evelyn was home. She was, and they agreed to a date the next night. They ate at a fabulous Thai place and returned to Evelyn's flat, as Tonks still lived with her parents and didn't want to bring a random girl home.
"What is it that you do, Tonks?" asked Evelyn, whose tight blouse kept distracting her.
"Security," Tonks replied automatically. "For the government. Very classified."
"Ooh, like the MI6?"
Tonks didn't know what that was, so she nodded. Evelyn's eyes grew wide.
"I'm just a barista."
"You're my favorite part of the day."
The words came out before Tonks could stop them, and Evelyn broke into a smile. Their faces moved closer and closer, and when their lips met, it took several minutes for them to surface for air.
It was Tonks's best first kiss, and there was no question about it.
1993
It had been years since Tonks tried to be with a wizard. She'd had flings with Muggle men, who never knew she could change parts of her body, Muggle women, who were always fun and cool, and witches, who marveled at Tonks's abilities, but never asked her to change.
Evan was promising. Seven years her senior, old enough that they never overlapped at Hogwarts, he was mature and ahead in his career as an Unspeakable (though Tonks didn't know what that meant in the Department of Mysteries). He didn't ask her to change anything about her body, but he was fascinated by the way it all worked.
Fascination was better than a fetish, and he was a gentleman, so Tonks gave him a chance.
They were a few dates in when they first kissed (another promising sign; some blokes liked to stick their tongues down her throat the first chance they had). They returned from their date at a posh, absurdly expensive Muggle restaurant, and were in his home (she thought that was very adult, owning your own home).
He'd been staring at her lips all night. She knew that look and what it meant. They sat on his sofa, his eyes trained on her mouth, and she came closer.
His eyes widened.
He asked if he could kiss her, and she said yes.
She was taken aback when his tongue went right into her mouth. It was aggressive, and somehow, teeth were involved. His lips went around hers completely, as if he wanted to eat her.
It was a bad first kiss, but Tonks liked Evan well enough that she tried to show him that kissing didn't have to be so aggressive.
It didn't work and they split up a few months later, as Tonks didn't like the way her hair went a disgusted, puke-green whenever they kissed, rather than the pink she liked best.
1994
They met at St. Mungo's, of all places. Tonks was brought in after a nasty skirmish with a few broken bones and a gash in her side. She was also snorting huge, phlegmy bubbles, making her feel especially unattractive. While the Healer was curt and businesslike in her healing of Tonks, the Mediwitch assigned to her was not.
Talulah had long, dark hair that was tied up in a loose, messy bun. Her olive skin and dark, glittery eyes were enchanting, and Tonks had to fight the blush that came over her features whenever the Mediwitch came in to see her.
It was a disappointment when Talulah was off the day that Tonks was discharged from the hospital. She was told to go to the apothecary to get additional potions, should she need them, and not wanting to go home yet, Tonks made the trek to Diagon Alley.
Deciding she could use a new set of flying gloves, she walked into Quality Quidditch Supplies, where, to her great surprise, Talulah was at the till, buying a pair of gloves too. Talulah turned around, saw Tonks, and grinned.
"You're free," she said, smiling. "Feel better?"
"Loads," Tonks replied, feeling warm. "I, er, was sorry not to see you before I got out of the hospital. You were great."
Talulah's grin grew. Her hair was down today, which fell to her waist, and Tonks wanted to reach out to twirl some of it between her fingers.
"Would you like to get ice cream?"
Tonks almost couldn't believe her ears. She gladly agreed and joined Talulah at Fortescue's for sugary, creamy goodness.
The ice cream outing turned into hours of chatting, lingering glances, and laughter.
Before they parted ways, they hugged. Tonks leaned in, and unthinkingly, placed a kiss on Talulah's lips.
"Oh."
"Oh?"
"I'm not into girls," Talulah said tightly. "I just thought you needed a friend."
Tonks deflated. Embarrassed–-mortified, more like–-she returned to her lonely flat and wondered if she could ever step foot in St. Mungo's again.
1996
Harboring a crush on a werewolf was unexpected, and entirely new territory for Tonks. In fact, nothing about Remus Lupin was expected.
Almost thirteen years older than she was, Remus had lots of silver hair and lines on his face; it wasn't quite old enough for him to be her father, but certainly not young enough that the age difference wasn't unnoticed.
Threadbare robes and patched jumpers were his style. His trousers were earthy shades and looser, rather than the tight, form-fitting denims she liked to wear. He didn't have any tattoos or piercings, or any visible feature that showed outward rebellion.
He was the most boring werewolf Tonks could imagine, but underneath the layers of carefully darned, simple garments, he was quietly hilarious and terribly clever.
He was also a he, and a wizard.
Tonks had all but given up on Muggles–-being a Metamorphmagus made it difficult to be with them–-and that left witches and wizards. Her few experiences with wizards left her thinking she'd be best off with a witch, but then Remus Lupin limped into her life with his witty remarks, adorably shy smile, and a haunted pain in his eyes that she wanted to erase.
It startled her, how much she wanted him. Mystifyingly, she thought he wanted her, too, but didn't do a thing about it. That was new territory, too–-what kind of bloke didn't go after a witch like her? He looked at her hungrily but treated her like a houseplant.
The answers–-his insecurities–-came out little by little. In turn, she tried to wear them down, showing Remus that none of it mattered.
It was his 36th birthday when she finally kissed him. Sirius was asleep upstairs and Tonks stayed with Remus in the library, playing a half-hearted game of chess. Their pieces didn't want to obey.
"We should give up," she said, seeing the knights battle each other.
"We should," he murmured, looking away.
She scooted across the dusty rug and pressed her thigh against his. He inhaled sharply and tried to move away, but she grabbed his knee.
"I didn't get you a birthday present, Remus."
"You didn't have to."
Tonks gathered her courage. She was going to discover, once and for all, if he wanted her as badly as she wanted him.
"It won't cost a thing," she whispered, inching toward him.
"Won't?"
With the fire dancing in his eyes, she gently took his face and brought her lips to meet his. She expected him to freeze, but he didn't.
His mouth started moving against hers, pleasantly passionate and wanting, and his hand came to graze her waist. His lips weren't as soft as a woman's, but they were firm and decisive.
The fire crackled in the hearth and the moment was gone. He removed his lips from hers and a confusing terror came over his face.
"I'm so sorry–"
"-don't be," Tonks told him, grabbing his hand. "You're a good kisser."
A boyish smile appeared and she placed her thumb on his lips.
"Can I kiss you again?" she asked.
There was conflict in his eyes, a little frown that replaced the smile, and a hesitating breath, but then his mouth was back on hers.
She couldn't have predicted it then, or even considered it a possibility, but Remus Lupin was her last first kiss, and would be her last kiss, too.
