Gray blinked for what had to be the fiftieth time that minute, trying to keep himself awake. He didn't want to let his eyes stay closed for too long, in case the blackness took him back. He didn't know where he'd…been, when he'd been dead, but he knew with a keenness that wanted to close his throat up that he did not want to go back there. He was exhausted, and he knew he probably needed sleep, but anything that felt like blankness was horrible to the point of being panic-inducing.
"Gray?" Natsu asked. There was something in his voice that made Gray think it was possibly not the first time that he had said his name.
"Yeah?" Gray slurred. Natsu's hand was at his back, which was somewhat comforting, but at this point, Gray wanted nothing more than to curl up with Natsu and bury his head in his chest and possibly never have to think about anything that had happened ever again. He had the vague sense that he was supposed to be sitting up, so Porlyusica could be doing…something, but he was a little fuzzy on the specifics and he knew he really didn't want to be. He felt really bad - he was tired, sick, in pain. It was all he could do to stay conscious, let alone pay attention to what Natsu was saying to him.
"Did…did you hear Porlyusica?" Natsu asked tentatively.
Gray's head lolled backwards, and Natsu caught the back of his neck with a warm palm. Gray tried to look at Porlyusica, but his eyes didn't seem to want to focus so good.
"You need to remove the ice around the wound," Porlyusica said. "It's taking too long to melt on its own."
Gray sort of looked down, and was surprised to see there was a patch of ice on his stomach. He'd done it on instinct, and he wasn't sure when. He had to concentrate to remove it, and it made his head hurt.
"Lie back," Porlyusica said. Gray knew he knew those words, but it took so long for him to process that before he could, Porlyusica was pressing on his shoulder and Natsu was easing him into a horizontal position. "I need to examine this."
"Wendy healed it some already," Natsu said. "I dunno if that…affects anything…."
"Of course Wendy healed it," Porlyusica said. "Otherwise he would be dead."
Gray actually did have a vague memory of waking up in agonizing pain, and feeling the bright energy of Wendy's healing magic flow into him. He hadn't realized how close he'd been to dying again. He supposed it made sense, but….
Gray found himself fighting against an unexpected wash of bile. He reached blindly for Natsu's hand. Natsu's fingers wrapped around his, squeezing. Gray was so exhausted that he felt fragile all over, and Natsu's strong grip hurt, but he didn't let go. If he was in pain, that meant that he was alive.
A sharp pain in his stomach told him that Porlyusica was starting her examination, and Gray hissed and tried to curl in on himself without thinking.
"Natsu, hold him down," Porlyusica barked.
Gray didn't like the sound of that - he didn't want to be held down - but he didn't think he could hold still, either. Natsu's hands went to his shoulders, and Gray flicked his eyes up towards the ceiling, clenching his teeth through the pain.
"This isn't too bad anymore. Wendy did a good job. I just need to bandage it up, and it should be able to heal naturally from here." That was Porlyusica talking, and she sounded relieved, but Gray was feeling too dizzy and sick to really understand what she was saying. He just lay there on the table, grateful that no one was asking him to sit up anymore.
"Can he get some sleep now?"
Sleep. Gray did not like the sound of that. He knew he'd have to sleep eventually, and he kind of thought he already had, but he was risking slipping away again every time he closed his eyes. Gray moved fitfully beneath Natsu's hands on the table, squirming as far upright as he could. Maybe if he looked more awake, they would stop talking about sleeping.
"I'm sorry, Natsu," Porlyusica said. She sounded almost sad. "There isn't really time. You need to get him to the Guild as soon as possible. You need to let them know that he's alive, and you need to start planning. I can get him a few elixirs to make him more alert, and feel more like himself, and you need to go to the Guild."
Gray blinked, slowly. It sounded like Porlyusica didn't want him to sleep, which was good, but…planning what?
"But-"
"I know it's hard," Porlyusica interrupted. "Natsu, listen to me. You need to give him the sword back, and you need to act while you have the advantage. Magnus doesn't know he's alive. This is your best chance to do something."
The numbness started in his chest, and slowly began to creep throughout his entire body. Gray lay still on the cot, barely feeling himself breathe.
When he'd finally realized that he was safe, and that he was alive, he hadn't really thought about why. Natsu had been there, holding him and making him feel safe, and that was pretty much all Gray had been able to process.
It made sense that Jellal hadn't just resurrected him to be nice. Nobody was going to break all the laws of magic and nature just for Gray. A familiar sense of shame flickered to life, and Gray swallowed against it.
Gray had been brought back for a purpose. Because he wasn't done. He'd picked up the sword instead of Erza or Jellal and made a vow to kill Magnus, and then he'd fought and died. He'd failed, and he'd doomed all the rest of his friends in the process.
Gray didn't really understand why they hadn't given the sword to Erza or even Jellal. But they hadn't, or maybe there was some other reason they needed him to be the one to kill Magnus. Gray didn't know. It didn't really matter. All that mattered was that they'd brought him back for a reason, and that reason was to finish out his mission.
Gray realized, in a detached sort of way, that this meant there was a good chance Gray was going to die again. He'd tried to kill Magnus with Oblatio, and it hadn't worked. He hadn't been a good enough fighter. Now, he was trying to do the exact same thing. He had the advantage that Magnus thought he was dead, sure. But his fighting skills hadn't improved, and they'd certainly tried to surprise Magnus the first time too. He was weaker now, weary in a bone-deep kind of way that he was pretty sure a few of Porlyusica's potions and a night or two of rest wouldn't solve. And Magnus had had…some amount of time to gather a stronger army, to regroup, heal, and prepare. Gray wasn't sure how long….
"Um," Gray said, interrupting Porlyusica, who had been covering his wound with something that smelled herbal and sharp.
"What is it, Gray?" Natsu asked.
Gray hesitated briefly. "How long have I…been…gone?" He really had no idea, beyond the fact that it was clearly long enough that there had been time to bury him. It could have been a few days or a few weeks or even longer. The fact that he couldn't even be sure what month it was made the table do a slow roll underneath him.
"You didn't tell him anything?" Porlyusica asked sharply, returning to spreading her herbs over Gray's stomach.
"There was a lot going on!" Natsu said defensively. "With…Jellal and stuff. And he was really sleepy." Natsu's attention shifted back towards Gray. "It's only been a week," he said.
Only a week. That was…in a lot of ways, that was better than what Gray had imagined. Magnus would have had time to prepare, of course, but he hadn't had like months of time. But it was still completely horrifying and disorienting that a whole week had gone by for Natsu, for all his other friends, and Gray just…hadn't existed.
Something must have shown on Gray's face, because all of a sudden Natsu's hand was on his shoulder, rubbing lightly up and down.
"I got you," Natsu whispered, and it was nice to hear his voice but Gray knew the words didn't really matter. Natsu couldn't protect him, or save him from Magnus. He hadn't been able to the first time around, and that wasn't Natsu's job anyway. Gray had made it his when he picked up the sword.
"Alright," Porlyusica said, straightening.
Gray looked down at the bandages wrapped around his midsection and moved experimentally. It still hurt, but the pain felt more like a mostly healed wound, not like something that had literally killed him.
That was probably good. It would be easier to fight Magnus if he wasn't in excruciating pain, and Gray had fought through pain worse than this. He tried not to think about how none of that would matter, how Magnus had beaten him when he'd almost been at full strength. Dwelling on that wasn't going to help him prepare.
"Do you think you can swallow?" Porlyusica asked, sounding uncharacteristically gentle, and Gray wondered just how bad he really looked.
From the expression on Natsu's face, the answer was probably very bad indeed. Gray turned away from his fiance, back towards Porlyusica, and nodded. His throat was hoarse with disuse, and talking was difficult, but he knew he needed to drink whatever potions she gave him.
"This is for the pain," Porlyusica told him, handing him a small glass vial. Luckily, it was uncapped. Gray wasn't sure he'd gotten back quite enough strength in his fingers to open something, at least not yet.
Gray took the potion and swallowed it in one gulp, coughing immediately as it made his nose and throat tingle with the sharp, medicinal tang. Beside him, he felt Natsu gasp and move closer.
"Gray? Gray, baby, are you alright?" Natsu's arm was still around his shoulders, and now he could feel the Dragon Slayer pressed up against his side, finally making Gray feel warm. "Can you talk to me?"
Gray coughed again and swallowed the last of the potion, noting that the wound in his stomach already hurt a bit less. "I'm okay," he mumbled. "Just…hurt my throat, is all."
He couldn't look at Natsu anymore. Instead, he turned to Porlyusica, who was shoving another potion into his hand.
"Drink that too. It'll wake you up."
Gray blinked down at the jar, which contained a thick, gloopy liquid that looked pretty much undrinkable. He took as deep a breath as he could manage, trying to settle his stomach enough to get it down. He didn't want to waste any more of their time, not if things were as bad as Porlyusica said.
But he just couldn't force himself to drink it yet. Gray took another breath, then looked back up at Porlyusica. He could at least make sure that he wasn't being entirely unhelpful. "Where is Magnus now? What's happened since…since I…?"
"I'm probably not the right person to fill you in on the details, child. I haven't been fighting at the front lines."
"Natsu…?"
"Sorry, Gray, I don't really know either. I haven't really been…the past week I've…."
It hadn't really registered with Gray that Natsu had thought he was dead for the past week. It had occurred to him on an intellectual level, of course. He knew Natsu must have gone to his funeral, since Gray had clearly already been buried in the ground, and it was clear from Natsu's pale, pinched face that he hadn't been eating or sleeping well. But that was very different from feeling the truth of his death for Natsu on an emotional level, a gut level. Even now, Gray didn't really think he understood. He probably never would.
The fact that Gray was probably going to be killed by Magnus again, and leave Natsu to live through his death a second time, didn't sit very well with Gray. But at the same time, he felt the reality of that truth in a weary sort of way. It was just a drop in the bucket in the face of the million and one things he was worried about now.
And anyways, Natsu had to survive it. He clearly had once before.
Gray scrubbed his uninjured hand across his face. He noticed dully that some of his fine motor skills were already coming back. That was good.
"Right," he said. "That's why I'm going to the guild hall. They'll be able to tell me…more. Fill me in."
"It hasn't been…good," Porlyusica added helpfully. She seemed to be struggling for words, something Gray wasn't sure he'd ever seen her do. "It certainly hasn't gotten better. Maybe now that you're here…."
"Yeah," Gray said quietly. "Right."
Gray felt like crying. He knew that wasn't fair - he'd offered himself up as the blood sacrifice right from the beginning, and it was no one's fault but his own that he was just realizing that now. He'd been revived with a duty, and he owed it to everyone who had brought him back to see that duty through.
Gray swallowed the potion. It was slimy and metallic going down, and Gray's stomach flipped over. There was a split second where he was sure that it was going to come right back up, and he almost asked for a trash can. But he swallowed against the bitter taste, and nodded at Porlyusica.
He realized Natsu was no longer touching his back. He looked around, and saw that Natsu had gotten a faraway look in his eyes.
"Natsu?"
Natsu blinked, shaking his head and refocusing on Gray. "S-sorry. I just…."
"He's exhausted," Porlyusica interjected. "You've barely slept, right?"
Slowly, Natsu nodded, looking down. He did look…bad, almost as tired as Gray felt. His eyes were hollow and surrounded by dark circles, and his hair was matted and unwashed. "I guess I haven't slept much," he admitted.
Gray winced, still trying not to think about leaving Natsu alone for the second time. That, more than almost anything else, felt too overwhelming to tackle.
"You should take one of these, too," Porlyusica said, handing one of the slimy, thick potions to Natsu. "You still need a good night's sleep, but this will keep you going until you get one."
Natsu nodded, uncapping the vial and upending it over his mouth. Gray moved a little closer to him, for once seeking Natsu's warmth. He almost never felt the cold, but ever since he'd woken up in the cemetery, he'd been fighting a bone deep chill that he couldn't seem to shake.
"Is that it, then? Can we go?" Gray asked. He still didn't really know what his plan was once he left Porlyusica's cottage, but he thought that he should probably get started on it. The drugs were starting to kick in, leaving him with a strange paralysis in his chest that melted into a jittery, tense feeling throughout the rest of his body. He could feel the exhaustion pressing at the back of his head, but for now, the potion kept it at bay.
"One more thing," Porlyusica said, motioning with her hand. "Show me your finger, child. While Natsu is waiting for the potion to take effect."
In all the chaos, Gray hadn't really thought about his missing finger. It had seemed like a pretty minor concern, among the grand scale of things he was dealing with. Now, as he extended his left hand to Porlyusica, he was surprised to find that it wasn't bleeding anymore. In fact, it seemed to have partially healed over.
Porlyusica turned his hand around, making a pleased sort of sound. "As I thought. After the resurrection, it looks like this wound can be healed as well. That should make things a little bit easier on you."
To be honest, Gray didn't really care about what was happening with his finger. If he was just going to die again anyway in a couple weeks, it didn't seem like that really mattered much. "It didn't come back, though."
Porlyusica rolled her eyes. "No, but once this is all over, you can come back here and I can probably make a pretty good replacement."
That was…a piece of good news. Gray had almost forgotten that such a thing existed. For about fifteen seconds, he allowed himself to drift in a gentle and kind future where he saved the day and he was alive and his hand was whole and Jellal was fine.
"You'll need to put this on it," Porlyusica said brusquely, which shook Gray from his fantasy world. She was pushing a jar of salve into his uninjured hand. "Twice a day if you can manage it. The more supple and better-healed the skin there is, the better chance of your new finger attaching."
"Okay," Gray said obediently. He didn't tell her that he probably wouldn't be back. He hopped off the table, swayed against an unexpected rush of vertigo, steadied himself, and kept standing. "Natsu? Are you ready?"
"Yeah," Natsu said. Natsu lifted a hand like he was going to touch Gray's shoulder or back, but he lowered it without making contact. The fact that Natsu seemed reluctant to touch him was making Gray feel a little unclean, but he decided to examine that later.
"Guild?" Gray asked.
"Yeah."
Gray left Porlyusica's cottage. He was still shaky, and sort of tired, and kind of sick-feeling, and very scared. But he was alive, and that was certainly…a better state than he had been in two hours ago. He was alive, and he could take up the sword again, and they could…they could figure everything else out from there.
Wendy wasn't sure how long she and Erza had been in the hospital, because the hospital had become a liminal space. There was a clock on the wall opposite them, but it was broken. A woman at the front desk took calls every few minutes, but they all sounded pretty much the same from this end, which just reinforced the idea that she and Erza had somehow been caught in a hellish, never-ending loop as they waited for news.
The paramedics who had arrived hadn't been sure what was wrong with Jellal, let alone known how to do what Wendy was doing, and keep him breathing. They'd allowed Wendy and Erza both to ride with him in the ambulance to the hospital, and even though it had made Wendy horribly sick, she'd managed to keep holding onto Jellal and pumping him full of healing energy. Through a combination of sky dragon magic and modern medicine, Wendy was pretty sure Jellal was still alive when they'd made it to the hospital. He hadn't woken up, but he also hadn't started seizing again, and that was…that was….
They'd rolled Jellal in on a gurney to do some emergency stuff, and since then, there had been no news. They'd given Erza some paperwork to fill out, and she had done so mechanically. Then, there had been nothing to do but wait. Erza hadn't seemed to want to talk, but that was okay, because Wendy didn't have the first idea of what to say.
After what could have been hours, or only minutes, a doctor entered the room. Erza sat up immediately, perched ramrod straight on the edge of the plastic hospital chair. Wendy could see her knuckles whiten as she grabbed the sides of the seat, almost vibrating as the woman drew closer.
"Family of Jellal Fernandes?" the doctor asked, looking down at the clipboard in her hand.
"He's my husband," Erza said, voice low and tense. She was on her feet now, moving almost faster than Wendy could track. "Is he…is he alright?"
The doctor looked down at her clipboard again. "I'm sorry to bring you this news, but your husband is in a coma. He-"
"A coma?" Erza interrupted, sounding far away and suddenly very young.
Wendy didn't want to hear Erza sound like that, not ever. She cleared her throat, moving up to stand right beside Erza. "It's okay. I brought Jellal out of a coma before, you know. I'm sure I can do it again, if I could just rest a little first…."
But the doctor was shaking her head. "I'm sorry, but magic isn't going to work here. When you brought him in, he was completely drained of power. Not the sort of drain that happens when you use an SE plug too long. This was…catastrophic. Frankly, I haven't seen anything on this scale before. At this stage we don't know too much, but we're optimistic that if we keep him stabilized until he can regenerate enough ether nano, he should wake up."
"How…how long will that take?" Erza asked. She was looking at the doctor, but she didn't seem like she was all there.
"We aren't sure," the woman admitted. "Like I've said, we've never seen anything like this before. It would help if I knew exactly how he managed to drain himself so completely…."
She trailed off, but neither Wendy or Erza answered her. Part of Wendy wanted to give the doctor all the information they had, in case that would help Jellal, but she knew he would have been furious. From the way he'd framed the resurrection, he had sounded almost more afraid of the legal consequences than the physical ones.
Erza blinked, pulling her stare from the wall ahead of her back to the doctor. "But he'll wake up if he regains enough ether nano?"
"We think it's likely. But, I should warn you…your husband had a series of severe seizures. Because he's in a coma, we're unable to accurately track his brain activity. We won't know if he suffered brain damage, temporary or permanent, until he wakes up."
"He…he has seizures all the time," Erza said, voice small. Her face was painfully blank - it was hard for Wendy to look at. "He always…it takes him a few hours sometimes, but he always comes back fine after them, he's never…."
"I'm sorry," the doctor said. "But his condition is unusual, and I'm not going to make promises about his recovery that I'm not sure I'll be able to keep. I just can't predict right now what effects that many severe seizures might have, especially when he was in such a weakened state. Our team is…cautiously optimistic…but that's simply the best that we can say right now."
"Alright," Erza said. Wendy could see that she was trying very hard to pull herself together. "Thank you for answering all my questions. I was wondering if…is it alright if I see him now?"
"I'd like to see him too, if that's alright with you, Erza," Wendy broke in. "I know I probably won't be able to help any, but if there's even a chance…."
"He really shouldn't be receiving visitors right now. He's still very unstable."
Something small shifted in Erza's stance. Wendy was caught between wanting to touch Erza, to calm her, and wanting to run. "I want to see my husband," Erza said evenly.
The doctor, to her credit, picked up on the same thing Wendy had. She immediately changed tacks.
"His condition is quite delicate, so we can only allow one of you in the room at a time, and not for very long. And I'll warn you, he's not currently responsive to any type of stimuli. But we have had reports of comatose patients hearing the voices of their loved ones, so you're welcome to speak to him, as long as you don't interrupt his nurses-"
"You should go, Wendy. Just in case-"
Wendy was not about to force Erza into even a second more separation from Jellal. What if they decided he could only handle seeing one of them today? Wendy didn't really think there was anything she would be able to do anyways. It wasn't like she could restore someone's magical power.
"No," she said simply.
Erza nodded. "Okay. If you're sure. I'd-"
She broke off at the telltale crackle that Wendy heard as well, but no one else seemed to. After a moment, Warren's voice entered their minds.
To anyone who's close enough to hear me, make your way back to the Guild as soon as you can. Porlyusica…. I don't know much, but apparently you'll want to be here for this.
Even with as numb and exhausted as Wendy felt, that sent a borderline electric jolt through her. If Porlyusica had contacted the Guild Hall, that meant that Natsu and Gray had made it. They were okay.
Beside her, Erza seemed to shrink slightly as she received the telepathic message. Without saying anything, she turned away from the doctor, heading towards the door.
"Wait, what-" the doctor said, sounding confused. "I said you could see him."
"Erza-" Wendy started after her before she caught herself. Whatever Erza was going through, she didn't need to make it harder by telling her that she was making the wrong decision.
Instead, she turned to the doctor. "I'm sorry, we just received word…. Guild emergency…. Thank you! We'll be back as soon as we can."
She hurried after Erza, who was almost halfway to the door, very carefully not looking back.
"Are you alright?" Wendy said quietly as she reached Erza's elbow.
Erza nodded once, then kept striding forward. "I…he would want me to focus."
"Erza…."
"And they said there was nothing I could do."
"You can come visit him after…whatever this is," Wendy told her, resisting the urge to wrap her arms around the older woman, like Erza had done for her when she was little. "The doctors will probably be a lot more likely to let you in. And maybe…maybe he'll be doing a little bit better."
Erza nodded again, and she and Wendy left the hospital and headed towards the Guild.
