May 18, 2011 (9w)

Unfortunately, he was getting used to this no sleeping thing. He had stirred into consciousness almost an hour ago, after having only drifted off a few hours beforehand. But he had no intentions of trying to get back to sleep. Instead, he took the time to savour the moment, to appreciate the woman sleeping soundly, wrapped in his arms in the exact way she had fallen asleep.

She rose with the sun, stirring just a little before six am. He nuzzled into her, burying his face into the crook of her neck.

"Morning," she hummed, low and sleepy.

"Good morning," he replied, pressing a kiss behind her ear. "D'you sleep alright?"

She shifted, turning in his arms until they were face to face.

"Mmhmm." She cupped his face and placed a soft kiss to the top of his nose. "I crashed pretty quick, sorry."

"No, that's good."

"You don't look like you got much sleep," she stated, rubbing her thumb along his cheekbone. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just thinking about things."

His words sounded ominous, and she couldn't ignore it.

"You need to talk about it?" she encouraged.

He shook his head. "I just-"

He slowly dragged his hand up her back; the gentle pressure of his palm pressing her body into his encouraged her to melt into his embrace.

"I just worry about you," he continued once her head nuzzled into his chest. "When you ran off after Lockwood..." He trailed off, unable to finish his thoughts.

I thought I'd never see you again. Not alive, anyway.

"I know," she said, as if she could read his mind. She lifted her head just enough to place a kiss to his cheek. "I'm sorry."

He believed, without a doubt, that she meant it, too. He saw the fear and regret in her eyes when she thought he was hurt at the courthouse. The fear and regret that had darkened her hazel irises ever since.

It seemed they were both in limbo, waiting for something to go wrong, for the moment that they would see each other for the last time.

"I should get ready for work," she said, reluctantly. She didn't want to move from his arms, but she couldn't put it off forever.

He tightened his arms around her, holding her against him.

"No, not yet."

He forced a playful tone to his voice, but honestly, he wanted to keep pretending, just for a little bit, that their world wasn't crashing down around them. Wrapped in her sheets, everything felt safe.

She huffed out laughter that muffled into his chest, giving into his request without hesitation. "Okay."

She wriggled in, making herself more comfortable, before tilting her head up to kiss him. Their lips danced, light and playful at first, but rapidly grew hungry.

When her hands began to roam the breadth of his back, he took his cue, exploring the skin under her shirt with open palms, fingertips pressing in slightly. Exactly as he had so quickly learned that she liked it.

She brought a hand to his shoulder, pushing gently until he understood the unspoken instruction.

He gripped her hips, rolling onto his back, pulling her body with him. Now straddling him, she sat upright, pulling her hair away from her face.

"You know, I could get used to this?" he said with a smirk as she rolled her hips.

She leaned down, a hand either side of his head, and kissed him. It was painfully slow.

"I wouldn't," she warned, her face hovering just inches from his. "Lanie says my libido will probably plateau during the second trimester."

"Oh."

She laughed; he didn't even try to hide the disappointment in his voice.

"I guess we should take advantage of it while we can, then," he mused, his lust oozing.

Her smile brightened as she nodded her agreement.

By the nape of her neck, he gently pulled her face to his. Their lips collided ravenously as their bodies began to rock and grind, anything to create friction.

She pulled away, sitting upright to grab the hem of her shirt and pull it over her head. She would never get sick of the way Castle's eyes glimmered as he took her in, the way he studied every inch of her as if it were the first time.

His palms explored her torso, fingers splayed across smooth skin, gliding along until they could curve around her hips.

Just a few millimetres from where his hand rested, he noticed, leaking from under the waistband of her sleep-shorts, a small bruise. She tried to distract him with the gentle rock of her hips. But the deep purple marking brought sickening worry to the pit of his stomach, too heavy to ignore.

He pulled on her waistband, lowering it as far as he could in their current position, horrified by what he had exposed. The purple staining under her skin only grew, deepening into a blood-red and black contusion.

"Castle-" she groaned, grabbing his hand and moving it back to rest on her hip, the waistband bouncing back into place.

"Did you not think I would see this?" he questioned, frowning. Why was she trying to hide it?

"I forgot about it," she shrugged.

"You forgot about the softball sized bruise on your hip?" he asked incredulous.

She bit her lip, eyes darting away from his. As she pressed her chin to her shoulder, his worry did not ease.

He moved his fingertips to the leg of her shorts, lifting it up to expose even more bruising down her thigh.

"Geez, Kate!"

"It's fine, Castle, really," she urged, cupping his face and drawing his eyes back to hers.

"Is this from me?" he whispered, hurt by the thought that he had left such markings on her, even if it was accidental. "When you pushed me to the ground, you landed-"

"On your shoes," she finished. "Good quality soles," she added with a smile, trying to lighten the mood.

"Why didn't I see this before?"

"It wasn't that bad when it first happened," she explained. "Maybe I bumped it? I'm not sure."

"I really wish you had let someone check you over," he said, his voice laced with frustration.

"I landed on my leg, mainly, not my stomach. I inhaled a little smoke, but nothing that would cause any issues to the baby."

"And then you chased after a killer and his three gun wielding buddies," he added bitterly.

"I kept my distance," she defended.

He wasn't interested. "They could have been waiting for you."

She scoffed. "You don't go to the effort of planning an escape to wait around."

"But he could have."

He just wanted her to admit it. Admit that she wasn't a mind reader, that she had done something stupid. Something reckless.

"He could have," she relented, softening her composure. "I'm lucky he didn't, and I shouldn't be relying on luck. I'm sorry, I'll be more careful."

He knew the words she left unsaid. Next time.

He wanted her to promise that there wouldn't be a next time, but he knew better.

One more day...

He sat upright, the sudden motion almost knocking her off balance, but his hands on her hips steadied her.

His lips captured hers: possessive.

His hands gripped harder, fingertips pressing into the inflamed skin. He could have been more gentle, moved his hand away from the tender spot, but a part of him wanted her to hurt, to feel the pain, to remember that she is only human.

A delicate, fragile human. Far from invincible.

He pulled away, needing more air than her mouth would allow him to breathe in. He could see the pain in her eyes, and he knew she had felt the desperation in his kiss.

He cupped her face, tracing his thumb along her bottom lip. When he reached the corner of her mouth, she touched his hand, keeping it in place. She turned her face, pressing a kiss into his palm.

"I don't want to lose you, Kate," he whispered. "Please, don't make me have to live without you."

Their eyes locked, a thousand defences at the ready. But she stood down.

"I won't."

She knew what her words meant. A promise that she wouldn't cross the line, wouldn't put herself on it, wouldn't face off with Lockwood. Surrender was coming.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.


He exited the elevator balancing four coffees and a box of assorted pastries. Everyone had been working relentlessly to help bring Kate some sort of closure, and he wanted to show his appreciation.

Ryan and Esposito were nowhere to be found, so he placed their coffees on their desks, depositing the box between them.

He knew that Kate wouldn't be eating, battling with nausea and her general lack of appetite in the mornings. And he had scoffed down a bear claw on the drive over.

He placed her coffee on her desk, eliciting a thankful smile before she went back to whatever she had been doing on her computer.

Things between them were still a little raw after this morning, and he didn't want to push it, so he left her in peace, moving over to the murder board to go over everything they had so far.

He studied the faces, swallowing the anger each individual invoked. So many people had spent so long trying to bury this, they were lucky they had gotten this far.

But he knew it had nothing to do with luck. It was her, all her. Her tenacity, her drive, her obsession. Where exactly was that line? At what point did all those traits that made her a good cop become her downfall?

He shook that thought from his head. She hadn't fallen yet. And she wouldn't, not if he could help it.

Castle looked away from the board, following the ding of the elevator.

Esposito stepped off, looking pleased to see the writer, and strutted across the floor until they were standing side by side.

"Good morning, Castle," Esposito greeted with a smirk.

Castle looked at the detective, confused by the suspicious manner of his smirk.

"Morning," he replied.

"I was just going over this report," Esposito said, holding papers in front of him. "You know how a protection detail works, Castle?"

Shit.

"Uh, not- not really."

"Hmm." He nodded. "You see? We place a unit outside the residence. The unit has the information of all the building's tenants: pictures, names. Anyone that isn't a tenant is to be stopped before entering the building."

"Makes sense," Castle said, trying to play it cool.

"Every non-tenant is logged," Esposito continued. "Seems like a pretty quiet night, to be honest, only two people logged. The first was a young man: the grandson of an elderly lady who lives in the building."

"Visiting grandma. That's nice."

"Our second visitor wasn't stopped, though. It seems Montgomery had pre-authorised this guy, if he were to... show up."

Shit.

He waited for Esposito to continue, to taunt him, to confess to knowing their secret. A secret he wasn't really sure had to be a secret, but he sure as hell wasn't going to be the one to let it slip.

But Esposito just kept smiling that knowing smile, staring into Castle's soul.

Castle was at war with himself: one part of him wanted to start babbling, coming up with excuses, valid reasons for being there, because he was sure there had to be at least one. But the other part knew that Esposito was just fishing, trying to get a rise out of him, to confirm something he only thought he knew. If he had any proof, this conversation would be a lot different.

The nervous part of his brain almost won the battle, but thankfully Ryan came rushing into the bullpen, beckoning Kate's - and everyone else's - attention.

"So, we ran financials on everyone associated with the prison," Ryan informed the group as he made a beeline for Beckett's desk. "Guards, civilian employees, medical staff. We found a guard named Ryker. He's underwater in his mortgage, maxed out his credit cards, and he was about to lose his condo."

"Ryker?" Kate asked, not believing what she was hearing. "I know Ryker."

Castle turned his attention toward Kate, worried how she would react to this act of betrayal. He wasn't sure how well she knew Ryker, but he was well aware of her heightened emotional state.

Ryan shook his head. "You only thought you knew Ryker. The day before Lockwood was transferred to General Population, Ryker received a fifty-thousand-dollar wire transfer. And guess who didn't show up for work today?"

She sighed, rising from her seat. "Let's go."

"Uh-" Castle hesitated, all eyes on him.

She waited, but her patience crumbled within seconds.

"Castle, if you have something to say, please just say it."

"I just- is it necessary for all of us to go?" he asked, trying to be subtle.

But Kate knew what he meant. He wanted to chain her to the desk, keep her as far away from all of this as possible.

"You can stay here if you want."

She grabbed her jacket from the back of her chair, slinging it over her forearm as Castle watched on emotionlessly.

She tried to ignore his stare, but guilt kicked in full force.

"I know Ryker, he'll talk to me," she reassured him.

"He's a part of this, Kate. You don't know how deeply involved he is."

She shook her head. "No. You didn't see him when we got to McCallister. He was horrified."

He didn't care about McCallister. Hell, he didn't care about Ryker.

"What if Lockwood is with him?"

"Then we will be ready." Esposito spoke up, trying to ease his friend's obvious anxieties.

Ryan nodded, reaffirming that they both have her back. But Castle's intense stare never broke away from Kate's. Eyes locked in a battle of will, neither one of them ready to concede.

"Can you just trust me on this one?" she pleaded softly.

"Fine," he spat his defeat.

He was starting to question exactly how far he could bend, before he broke.


The planet was thrown out of orbit, knocking them to the ground.

Metaphorically, of course.

Kate had been pacing back and forth in front of Ryker's lifeless body, for what felt like hours, while they waited for CSU. Even now, as they worked around her, she didn't stop.

Lanie shot a look of disapproval at Kate as soon as she entered the scene.

"Should you even be here?" she asked her friend, bluntly, her voice cutting through the hustle and bustle of the tech team working around them.

Ryan and Esposito exchanged curious glances, before settling their focus on Kate.

Kate stopped pacing, her eyes glued to Lanie's in shock. She wasn't even trying to be subtle.

"You know, given your personal relationship with the deceased?" Lanie continued.

"I barely knew him," Kate retorted, earning her a furious glare from Castle, which she purposefully ignored.

She turned away, hiding from prying eyes.

"I'm fine," she said. A blanket statement, both assuring Lanie and warning others not to push the subject any further.

She didn't want to be coddled, there was no benefit.

"Ryker made four phone calls to the same burner cell that Lockwood called from prison," Castle stated, reading through the call log on Ryker's phone.

"He was negotiating prices," Kate theorised. "Ryker had no idea who he was dealing with."

"That was the DOJ," Ryan said as he stuffed his phone into his pocket. "That fifty-thousand-dollar wire transfer bounced through the United Arab Emirates before it ended up in Ryker's account. It came from the Dubai branch of a Swiss bank."

Castle's frustration grew tenfold. "Who the hell are these guys?"

"Whoever they are, they've been two steps ahead of us this whole time," Kate replied, dejected.

"You don't go through this kind of trouble to cover up a couple of rogue cops kidnapping mobsters in some back alley."

Kate shook her head. "No, this is about something else. Something bigger."

She looked at Castle; a million apologies crossed her face.

"Beckett..." His voice was wary, warning. Don't do this.

"If we want to catch these sons of bitches, we're going to have to bring the fight to them."

She turned to the boys, who were ready to receive instruction, ready to follow her into battle.

"Notify Ryker's next of kin. Let's talk to his neighbours again, anybody else that knew him at the prison. I want to see if he made any new friends lately."

Ryan and Esposito left to complete the tasks.

She turned to Castle, conviction in her stance.

"Go home, Castle."

It was an order, not a request.

His defiance came quickly.

"No."

"You're not going to help me with this," she accused. "Go home."

"You're dangerously close to the ledge, Kate."

She nodded slowly; she wouldn't deny it. She could feel her desperation magnifying, her need to control something becoming overwhelming. Almost.

"I'm fine."

"You promised," he whispered, the hush of his voice being the closest thing to privacy in the crowded room.

"I'm not going to break that promise," she reassured him.

"Going to have to bring the fight to them? Sure sounds like you're about to do something real stupid."

She grabbed his arm, storming out of Ryker's condo.

Once they were away from prying eyes and ears, she stopped, turning toward him.

"I apologised. I said I would be more careful. What more do you want from me?" she shot, angrily.

Did he not understand that she was trying? She was restraining herself in every way, striving to appease him, bending and bargaining so that she wouldn't lose him.

But she couldn't walk away from this and, in the end, that's all he really wanted. Of that, she was sure.

"I get it, Castle," she said, softening her tone. "I understand that you're worried but I'm in control, I can handle this."

"The desperation in your eyes tells me otherwise," he said, bluntly. "You're hanging by a thread, Kate."

She hung her head low. She knew what was coming next. He was going to ask her to step back, like he had said he would.

And, while she had never outrightly said that she would stop if he asked, she knew that their relationship was conditional on that fact.

If she denied his request, she was losing the only thing keeping her head above water right now.

"I'm going back to the precinct," she said softly, hoping it would delay the end for just a little while longer.

"I'm coming with," he said firmly, to her surprise.

She had expected him to put up more of a fight, to get her to go home. She knew that was coming, but she would gratefully accept the reprieve, however short it might be.


Castle was hovering, his frustration seeping out and poisoning everything around him.

Their leads had run dry, they were chasing their tails trying to find something, anything.

'One more day' was starting to seem impossible. He could see the darkness in her eyes. It was swallowing her whole, and she was letting it.

As the hours passed, the knots in his stomach only tightened with the knowledge of what was to come.

"So, basically, we've got nothing still. Right?" She wasn't asking anyone in particular, just venting out loud.

He wished his brain would just think of something that they could follow, one last scrap of hope, but he had nothing.

Her eyes drifted across the murder board, studying. "Just a bunch of dead ends. Everywhere I look, it's just a bunch of dead ends."

"Whoever planned this escape for Lockwood knew they would need someone on the inside," Castle mused, as he joined her quest to study the board. "If Ryker was such a straight arrow, why would they approach him?"

"He was a soft target because of his financial troubles," Esposito explained.

Castle shot Esposito an exasperated look. Obviously, he understood that was why Ryker was targeted, he wasn't obtuse.

"How would they know that?" he asked.

Kate sat up a little straighter, pondering Castle's question: he had a good point.

"They found him the same way we did: financial records," she theorised, trying to contain the sense of hopefulness she felt. Hope had done her no favours thus far. "They ran financials on everybody in that prison."

"Who would have that kind of authority?" Castle asked.

She looked at Castle, a worrying hunger flickering in her eyes, like a wolf that had picked up a new scent to track.

"A cop. Or someone who was a cop," she answered.

She had something to work with, now. A new perspective.

That little bubble of hope burst through her feeble restraints and raged through her like wildfire.

"So, this third cop wasn't Lockwood's target." She turned back to the board, eyes darting from picture to picture as she started connecting the dots in her head. "This third cop was the one who was holding Lockwood's leash. He's the one who's behind this whole thing."

Castle watched on as the scene before him unfolded.

She was losing it. He was losing her. They were all going to lose this battle.

He briefly locked eyes with Esposito, who seemed to be silently pleading him to help her, but there was nothing he could do. Like watching a trainwreck in slow motion, all he could do was watch and wait.

"Okay, I want us to pull reports with Raglan and McCallister's name on it."

"We did all that already," Ryan complained.

"Months ago," Esposito added. "There's nothing."

"No, no, no. I'm not talking about arrest reports." She shifted from foot to foot and scrubbed her hand along her forehead, trying to ease the tension building behind it. "I'm talking about performance evaluations-"

"We went through everything," Esposito said more firmly. "We looked at every cop we could find who could have worked with them. None of them were our third guy."

"Well, then check it again," she ordered, loudly, her tone of voice pushing the line of what would be considered appropriate for the workplace. "And when you're done with that, check it again."

"Beckett, we want him as bad as you," Ryan said, trying to remind her that they were on her side.

But his attempt was futile, she was too far gone, too desperate for this lead, for any lead.

"The hell you do!" she snapped, her whole body vibrating. "Nobody wants him as bad as I do, okay? Nobody. So, check it again!"

Ryan bit his tongue, fighting back the urge to argue, but he couldn't hide the frustration that knotted in his brow.

The instant regret cooled her rage but stirred a flurry of emotion within her.

Disappointment, sorrow, guilt.

It was dizzying. Nauseating.

She knew she should apologise, profusely. But the words wouldn't come.

She opened her mouth, but the lump of emotion rising in her throat stopped the words in their tracks.

She couldn't keep doing this. That thread Castle had mentioned was fraying more by the second.

She shook her head, regaining her focus. She had to get out of here.

She pushed past Castle, moving her legs as fast as they would allow.

Castle looked at Ryan and Esposito, who were silently fuming.

"You guys right if I go-"

"Yeah, go pull her back from the ledge. We got this," Esposito said.


She fled the scene of the crime, guilty conscience in tow.

She hadn't meant to snap, not at Ryan, not at anyone. But she just kept doing it.

She was falling apart at the seams.

She couldn't breathe.

She wouldn't make it outside in time, her only option was to try to find solitude somewhere within the precinct walls, and quick.

She pushed through the emergency exit door, claiming the stairwell as her safe zone. She barely made it down one flight before her chest was too tight to continue. She stopped, clutching at her abdomen as a sob ripped violently through her.

"No," she called, trying to fight away her demons. "I can't-"

She threw her hands against the wall, leaning with her head hanging between outstretched arms, trying desperately to calm her breathing. She tried to find something to focus on, to stop the dizzying dart of her eyes, but the concrete walls around her continued to spin. She clenched her eyes shut, trying to block everything out.

She breathed in, counting to three, then exhaled.

In to five, then exhaled.

In to ten, exhaled.

Slowly, she managed to even her breathing, her sobs becoming quiet cries.

A rusty squeak filled the silence of the stairwell, echoes bouncing off the walls and reverberating down the flights of stairs until, eventually, it faded into nothing.

She looked toward the source of the noise, unsurprised to see Castle standing at the top of the stairs, by the door. She dropped her hands from the wall and began to rub her palms up and down her thighs, trying to keep her hands busy so that he wouldn't see just how shaky she was.

"Ryan okay?" she asked weakly.

Castle stood just six steps above her, but from this perspective, she looked so small, so fragile. He hated seeing her this way.

Slowly, he began to descend the stairs, closing the distance between them.

"He didn't appreciate being scolded like a child," he stated, bluntly, "but he'll be fine."

Kate turned away, wiping the tears from her face, and lowered herself to sit on a stair.

Castle followed her lead, sitting one step behind her. She rested her head on his thigh, closing her eyes as he rubbed her back.

"I didn't mean to snap like that," she confessed in a whisper.

"He knows."

He skimmed his hand along her back to her hair, combing his fingers through the soft waves.

"Kate..."

She lifted her head from his lap, wiping the few stray tears that had fallen, and looked up to meet his eyes. She waited, patiently, while he mustered his courage.

He knew what he was about to risk. He knew that she was already on edge and snapping at anyone who she perceived to be standing in her way, but he was growing more and more concerned for her by the minute.

Jim's words echoed through his mind: But she'd be safe.

That's all he wanted, for her to be safe. To be away from all of this. And he knew she wasn't going to make that decision for herself.

"Maybe you should go home," he suggested, trying to ignore the instant flare of frustration in her eyes. "Take a step back from this, just for tonight."

She straightened up, shook her head. "Castle, I'm fine."

"No, you're not," he choked.

She stared into his eyes, fighting the frustration that grew. She didn't want to say or do something she would regret... again.

"I am," she assured him, forcing a smile. "I've got this, I'm in control."

He couldn't believe what she was saying: did she really think she was in control of this?

"No, you're not," he repeated, more firmly. "You're standing on a cliff edge, Kate. Everyone associated with this case is dead. Everyone. Your mom and her colleagues, Raglan, McCallister. You know they're coming for you next."

"That's why I have to stop them," she defended. "They're going to keep coming, Castle. I have to stop them."

"The boys and I will keep working through the night," he promised. "There's no reason for you to be here."

"This is my job, Castle. My mom's case."

"Is that really more important than your life?"

Words failed her as she stared, slack jawed.

"They're going to kill you, Kate. I can't just stand by and watch you throw your life away."

"My life, Castle," she fired at him.

"No, it's not!" His voice was rough, angry.

Why couldn't she see that? Why wasn't anything enough to get through to her? She had a future outside of this. A future with him, their child. No matter how complicated it might be, he could see that there was so much potential for happiness. For love and for joy. All she had to do was walk away from this.

"It's not just yours, anymore, Kate," he pleaded.

She softened as her heart shattered. Castle looked so defeated.

He was right. She was being reckless with a life that wasn't hers. This baby should have been enough to make her walk away the second everything went to hell. Instead, it was a thought that she kept pushing to the back of her mind. An inconvenience that she didn't want to deal with right now.

Any concern she had for the child she was carrying had been manufactured because she knew that he needed her to care.

She felt like a monster.

"Kate, please."

She wiped yet another stray tear, they just wouldn't stop.

"Okay," she whispered.

"Okay?" He hadn't expected her to relent. He was filled with a rush of relief.

"I'm done," she whispered. "I'll go home."

He stood, held his hands out and helped her up.

"You want me to drop you home?" he offered. "Maybe even the loft, instead? It'll be safer."

She smiled weakly, shaking her head. "I'll be fine, Castle."

With the knowledge that she would be alone, that he wouldn't be with her tonight, he grew anxious. His only reassurance was Montgomery's protection detail. All he could do was hope that was enough.

"You'll let me know if you find anything, yeah?"

"Of course," he answered without hesitation. It was never his plan to keep her in the dark, just to keep her off the front line.

She shifted her weight, lifting herself onto the next step and placing a gentle kiss to his lips.

"Thank you."

They began walking up the stairs, hand in hand, until they reached the fourth floor door.

He pressed one last kiss to her temple before grabbing the door handle and pulling it toward him.


Air-conditioned air swirled into the stairwell, clashing with the stale air they had been breathing in, a refreshing jolt.

Reluctantly, Castle dropped her hand and walked toward the conference room, where Ryan and Esposito were setting up the boxes of old records.

Kate headed toward her desk, grabbed her belongings, getting ready to head home for the night.

The door to Montgomery's office swung open, catching her attention. She looked up to see her captain standing in the doorway. With a single nod of the head, he summoned her to his office.

She wiped her face, trying to clear any evidence of tears as she walked toward his office.

"How are you doing?" Montgomery asked her as he rounded his desk.

He held out his hand, signalling her to one of the chairs in front of his desk.

She shook her head, declining the offer. "I'm fine, sir."

"Kate, you're the best I've ever trained. Maybe the best I've ever seen. But you're not indestructible."

"I know that, sir."

"So, tell me how you're really doing."

"Castle doesn't think we can win this," she admitted. It wasn't a direct answer, but she knew he would understand that it efficiently summed everything up.

Montgomery nodded. "He's right."

Her eyes shot up to meet Montgomery's. She wasn't sure what she was expecting him to say, but that sure as hell wasn't it.

"I've spent most of my life walking behind this badge and I can tell you this for a fact: there are no victories, there's only the battle," he continued. "And the best that you can hope for is that you find someplace where you can make your stand."

She focused her eyes on the floor in front of her, processing his words.

"The heart; it has this miraculous way of healing itself. I can tell you, heartache fades a hell of a lot quicker than regrets do."

She looked up, confused by his sentiment.

"I have a feeling Castle's concern for you is... a little more personal."

She swallows hard, unsure of exactly what he was implying. "Sir-"

"I have three children, Detective. I'm pretty good at picking up on the early signs. I've been watching you running, fighting the sickness for weeks, now. This is a good thing, a new chapter in your life. But, Kate, if this is your spot, I will stand with you."