Chapter 12

Sabrina stared at herself in her full length mirror. Nothing looked right on her. She had tried on several black dresses and nothing suited her taste….or mood. She touched the small scar that was on her hand. Sometimes, she thought she could feel the stinging in her hand as if the wound reopened and forced her to remember why it was there in the first place. She shook the thoughts from her head, not wanting to relive that night.

"Cousin! Are you ready yet?" Ambrose shouted up the stairs.

"In a minute! If you're in such a hurry go by yourself!" Sabrina yelled back.

"My, my. Someone is feeling feisty today."

"Goodbye, Ambrose!"

"I'll just tell Auntie Zee that you are making us late."

Sabrina groaned and shut her door. She headed back into her closet, going through each dress. She paused when she came across an olive green belted tunic. Nick had teased her once about having so many clothes, but only wearing a handful of color choices. She had bought and wore this particular shirt to shut him up. She didn't realize it would be the last time she wore the wore it. She couldn't bear to put it on again. It was the shirt she wore the day Nick died.


The room was dark, the only light coming from the gap under the door. Salem's soft pur was the only sound that could be heard. Sabrina didn't care for light or visitors. For the last week, she laid in bed wearing one of Nick's shirts she found wrapped in a blanket.

She had been without Nick for one week, but it felt like an eternity. She felt the emptiness not just beside her, but in her heart. At first, her friends tried to come see her, but she refused to see them. She didn't want visitors. She didn't want people to tell her how sorry they were for her. She just wanted Nick back.

The first few nights, she had cried herself to sleep. But in her sleep, she dreamed of Nick. She would wake up calling for him, sobbing uncontrollably when she realized he would not answer. Zelda would come then and hold her niece as she cried for her lost love. She would sing Sabrina a song to calm her as she did when the younger witch was a baby.

Zelda was always hard on her niece, but she loved her. She resembled Edward more than most people saw. But Zelda saw it. It was in Sabrina's eyes and smile. Zelda could see her beloved baby brother in his daughter. Sabrina was almost as stubborn as Edward. He too saw rules more as a guideline to bend to his own will or liking. Rules weren't made for the likes of Edward or Sabrina Spellman. They made the rules.

"How is she today?" Roz asked Ambrose in the hall.

"I wish I could say she is doing better, but I would be lying," Ambrose sighed. "But at least she is not worse. Where are your other friends?"

"We're meeting up later. I just wanted to stop by and check up on our girl."

"She's still in mourning," Prudence said as she came down from the attic. "She sleeps her days away, barely eating or getting out of the bed."

Ambrose nodded in confirmation. "Aunt Hilda got her to take a bath the other day, but she went right back to the bed afterwards."

Roz sighed. "I'll come by again later with a milkshake. Maybe I can get her to talk to me," she said hopefully. She gave the other two a wave before heading back downstairs.

"She won't talk to her," Prudence stated.

"We don't know that," Ambrose said.

"I do. Sabrina won't even speak to you or your aunts, why would she speak with the mortal?"

"Prudence, we have to do whatever we can to try to help Sabrina get out of this funk she is in."

"Funk? She just lost the love of her life. Nicholas is gone and you think this is just a funk?!"

"I didn't mean it like that. Yes, losing Nick was a tragedy. I know what it feels to have lost her love, but hiding away in the dark won't bring him back."

Prudence just laughed and shook her head before turning to head up to the attic. Ambrose let out a sigh. Everyone seemed to be treading water carefully around Sabrina, but tension was starting to get high between everyone else. They all had their opinions about how to cope with the situation and they all had an opinion on how the others were wrong.

For the most part, Ambrose had been able to dodge tense situations, but as he just did, he often slipped and upset someone. He headed down the hall to Sabrina's room, taking his usual seat by her window in the darkened room.

"I want you to know, cousin, I don't mean to be insensitive. I know very well the pain you feel. The day I found out Lucas had died, part of me did too. We have different means of coping. Perhaps my love for Luke wasn't as strong as your bond with Nick, but I feel the pang of loss all the same. I am always going to be here for you, Sabrina. There is no need to travel this path alone."

Sabrina kept her back to her cousin. She knew Ambrose understood her pain, but from what she heard of his conversation with Prudence, he only understood to a point. He stayed vigilant by his cousin's bedside. He muttered a sleeping spell to help his cousin rest and ward off any nightmares that may come. Sabrina closed her eyes as she drifted off to sleep, knowing a dreamless sleep was almost as painful as a nightmare.

Hilda came to relieve Ambrose a few hours later carrying a tray of food, though she knew little if any food would be eaten. Keeping watch over Sabrina had become routine for all in the Spellman home. Ambrose took the day shift, in the afternoons Hilda would come, and Zelda came at night.

"I've brought you something to eat, love," Hilda said softly. "I know you haven't had an appetite, but you need to get something in your stomach."

No response.

"Oh Sabrina, I wish I could make this pain go away, but what your doing now won't help. We have to carry on, darling. Nick wouldn't want you to do this to yourself."

Still nothing. Hilda sighed and leaned down to kiss Sabrina's head softly. "You'll see, love, one day this will all have been a bad dream."

Hilda sat on the bench at the end of the bed. She pulled out one of her romance novels, turned on her travel book light, and got settled in for her "shift."

Hilda would look up occasionally to see if Sabrina was perhaps reaching out to grab some food or whenever she heard her niece shift in the bed. She hummed a tune to herself as she continued on with her book. She paused when she heard a set of footsteps rapidly approaching coming from down the hall. The door suddenly swung open and Zelda marched in.

"Zelda, what are you doing?" Hilda asked.

"Enough is enough. This has gone on too long," Zelda stated as she stood at the foot of the bed. "Sabrina Spellman, get out of that bed this instant."

"Zelda! You leave that poor girl alone."

"She cannot continue to mope around and act like her life is over."

"Oy! That's enough. Sabrina has gone through a lot. She needs time to cope with losing Nicholas."

"And laying in bed wasting away is coping? How does she expect to heal if she just lets the wound fester?"

Sabrina could hear her aunts arguing, but their words faded in the background. Ambrose's voice joined in the symphony of madness. She could feel something rising in her. Her blood began to boil, her anger reaching a tipping point.

"Shut up!" Sabrina yelled at her family as she sat up. "Just shut up! All of you! I'm tired of all of you fighting over how I should feel or how I should be handling my loss. I lost Nick. I may not have loved him for very long, but I love him all the same and now he's gone.

"I don't need any of you coming in here to place sleeping or non-dreaming spells on me when all I want to do is sleep and be with him in my dreams. I don't need trays of food brought to me when I have no appetite. And I sure as heaven don't need someone telling me to 'get over' the fact that I lost the love of my life."

Sabrina took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "I appreciate all you guys have done, but right now, I just want to be alone."

The other Spellmans looked at each other, then back at Sabrina.

"I only meant well, cousin. I'm sorry," Ambrose apologized.

"Me too," Hilda said. "We worry about you, love. It's our nature."

"I will not apologize for how I feel," Zelda stated firmly. "You are not the only one that has lost someone you loved, Sabrina. The day your father died, my entire world came crashing down. He and your aunt Hilda are my younger siblings. I have cared for them for decades and to lose your best friend…." Zelda paused as her voice broke. "I was his protector and I failed him. He would not want his only child to waste their life crying over losing some boy."

"Some boy?" Sabrina asked, offended her aunt would refer to Nick as 'some boy'. "He wasn't 'some boy'. His name is Nicholas Scratch. If you're going to demean what he meant to me, just leave."

Zelda turned and headed out of the room.

"She means well, Sabrina," Hilda said. "Your Aunt Zelda has always been rough around the edges, but she just wants you to be happy. I don't agree with her pushing you to move on so soon, but I understand her desire to see you smile again."

"I'm not ready yet, Aunt Hilda. It's still too soon. If you guys don't mind, I think I would like to be alone."

Ambrose and Hilda nodded. They turned to exit the room. Before the door shut behind them, Sabrina thought she saw a flash of short, bleach blonde hair go by. She shook her head of any thoughts that were not Nicholas Scratch.

She felt angry at herself for treating her family poorly when all they wanted to do was help, but qt the same time she didn't. She wanted to mourn Nick in her own way without them trying to tell her that it will be ok one day. One day. Those were the keywords. One day, maybe she would feel less hurt and sad. But today, she missed Nick with every fiber of her being. Today, she just wanted to cry over her loss.

Sabrina wasn't sure how much time had passed when she heard her door creak open. The hall was dark, so she knew it had to be late. The weight on the bed shifted. It was probably Ambrose checking up on her. She felt a hand on her shoulder, realizing suddenly that the hand was much slimmer than Ambrose's. She looked over her shoulder to see Prudence, a tear staining her cheek.

"They tell you not to cry, to mourn silently," she said, her voice breaking. "It is unfair to ask that of you. To act as if Nick were someone you could just move on from. I miss him too. There is no need to hide from me. I will shed tears for Nicky with you."

Sabrina sat up and stared at Prudence for a moment. She had never heard Prudence be so open and honest with her. Sabrina often forgot that both Prudence and Nick were orphans left to be raised in the Academy. Nick mentioned that for years, she was his only friend. If anyone know how she felt, it was Prudence Night.

"I don't know if I'll ever be over losing him," Sabrina admitted.

"You won't. He and what you had will linger on in your life forever, but it need not be something you mourn over. Celebrate the love you two shared. It is definitely one most people search for in a lifetime."

Sabrina threw her arms around Prudence, hugging her tightly as she cried softly. She felt her hug her back, sniffling in her ear to let her know she was crying too.


Sabrina let out a breath, holding the piece of clothing in her hands. She heard someone's footsteps entering her room. She sniffled, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Ambrose, I told you, I'm not ready yet," she groaned.

"Do you really need this long to get ready? I mean, honestly Spellman," Nick teased as he leaned against the door frame. "That's a nice shirt. I bet it would look amazing on you."

"It did, but I don't think I'll ever wear it again," Sabrina said as she tossed the shirt onto the her desk chair.

"Why not?"

"It's the shirt I was wearing when….you died."

"You mean the day my heart stopped beating, but you refused to let me die." Sabrina glared at her boyfriend. "You can give me a dirty look all you want, Spellman. It's the truth." He walked over to her, placing his hands on her hips and pulling her close to him. "You wouldn't let me go even after you promised you would. And I am grateful for that. You saved me, Spellman. Like always."

He smiled and leaned down to kiss her softly.

"It was hard, when you were in Hell. It felt like I had lost you forever. Like you were gone, but not completely. It was such a terrible feeling. Prudence and I even became friends comforting each other."

"The horror!"

"I know, right? I will always remember that feeling. The dark hole I was in knowing you were gone. I know I wouldn't be able to go on if you died."

Nick took a deep breath and pressed his forehead against hers. "I promise you, Sabrina Spellman, I will never leave you again."

Sabrina wrapped her arms around Nick, holding his tightly. "Ambrose sent you up here didn't he?"

"I won't lie to you, he did. He hoped that I would persuade you to hurry up."

"And what do you get out of it?"

"Nothing if we go down there. I figured we could just make out for a while."

"I like the way you think, Scratch."