Set between seasons 2 and 3. Birkhoff, Alex, and Nikita drive one another insane.

They were going insane. There was no other way to put it. Without a mission, without all of their time dedicated to a specific task, without any breaks from one another, the team of rogues were losing their minds.

Actually, they were former rogues, and that was where part of the problem came in.

Since Nikita had killed Percy, Alex had killed Roan, and Ryan was working with the President to facilitate the end of Division, the band of rebels didn't have a job anymore. They'd help end Division- that much was clear. But the cleanup duty hadn't officially started yet. Besides paperwork, there weren't any missions or active things the team could do. They just waited for things to start up again. Until then, they had all the time in the world to do whatever they wanted. It was freedom.

Or close to it.

Division agents couldn't receive pardons for their actions or even real identities until after the hellhole was shut down. Their freedom was limited to those constraints. As time went on, it was easier to work around the barriers. But at first, and after being used to just hiding out in a safehouse, the team of former rogues didn't do much. They helped Ryan kick off the New Division, they tried to find their own places to stay, and they healed from their recent wounds. Most of that occurred when the team was all together. They couldn't find any solace from each other. For far too long, the rogues- former rogues- had not been alone from one another.

When they had a mission, that was fine. They were so absorbed in their tasks, they hardly realized others were there. Yet with nothing to do, the team was far too aware of one another. They noticed every little thing that they did. They had no problem with it at first. Some things they actually found endearing. But after a while, everything became so fucking annoying.

Alex and Sean were particularly annoying. They had their own apartments. They didn't need to stay at the safehouse with the others. Sure, due to her broken arm and electrocution, and his stab wound on top of his recently healed bullet wound, they probably shouldn't be left alone. But they had other options than the safehouse. Alex could go visit her mother (she actually planned to once she fully healed). Sean could stay with his sisters. Or, they could both hang around Medical- they had access to it then. They didn't have to be at the small, overcrowded safehouse. Except, the two just had to be together.

Sean and Alex had kissed. They had made some sort of declaration of love for one another (not exactly, but close enough). And they kept talking about dates. The two couldn't leave one another alone. Their friends thought it was sweet and cute and worth bullying the first few days. However, the constant flirting and dancing around each other became too much to witness. Why couldn't they just kiss again already.

Once Michael and Nikita had kissed and expressed their feelings (and gone through some other important things) they had dived headfirst into a relationship. Why couldn't Sean and Alex do the same.

Though, honestly, Nikita and Michael weren't the pinnacle couple to look towards. They were also extremely annoying. They might not have been pinning after one another, but they also couldn't leave each other alone. The couple was all over each other. They had ended their war, they had peace and an actual future. Those were things to celebrate. Those were things to celebrate loudly and passionately.

Still aware that they shared a safehouse, Michael and Nikita did keep their PDA to a minimum. They also waited until everyone had gone to their rooms for the night before they began their fun. Yet the walls weren't exactly soundproof. And everyone knew what they were doing and how much they 'fucking' enjoyed it. The couple seriously, seriously, seriously had to get their own apartment. They were trying desperately to, but that wasn't enough. Nikita and Michael had to have their own space.

The whole team just needed to get away from one another. As much as they loved each other, as great of friends they were, they needed time apart. It was the only way to preserve their sanity. It was also becoming the only way to save their lives.

One afternoon, all that annoyance nearly suffered a violent eruption. Ryan was hiding out in Division, and Sean and Michael had managed to escape to get lunch. Alex, Birkhoff, and Nikita were left to suffer in the safehouse. They were doing their own things for a short while. Alex was doing some stretches for her arm. Birkhoff was working on a computer program. And Nikita was apartment hunting. Yet that couldn't hold their attention for long. Again, they didn't have much else to do.

And idleness was the devil's plaything.

Nikita started it. She tabbed some apartments that she liked and wanted Michael to look at, then went to search for other things to do. She stumbled across Birkhoff first. He was hunched over a borrowed laptop, chugging copious amounts of energy drinks. She had messed with her nerd plenty of times while he was hacking. Sometimes it was a shove to mess up his typing, other times she taunted and distracted him. That time, she decided to change it up.

She knew Birkhoff hardly used the touchpad mouse; he preferred keyboard shortcuts over everything else. She also knew that the laptop he was working on had a special touchpad function. If she double tapped the left corner, the mouse would be disabled. As Birkhoff took another giant swig of energy drink, Nikita snuck up behind him and silently tapped the mousepad. She quickly left before he even noticed. It'd actually be a while before he noticed she had done anything. She bit back her giggles.

The next person she found was Alex. After doing her stretches, the young woman mindlessly flipped through channels on the television. Nothing could capture her attention. She was far too bored and far too tired to watch anything. She just sort of dozed. Which of course, was why Nikita decided to jump right in front of her and shout, "Wake up sleepy head!"

Alex was not proud of her startled twitch. Nor was she proud of the groan of pain that slipped past her lips as she jostled her arm too much. Nikita just smirked at her. The young woman glared the best she could while exhausted, and tried to make her friend leave, "Fuck off."

"You can't sleep during the middle of the day. That'd mess up your sleep cycle. Then you'll be more grouchy and annoying later. And I'm not waking you up when the boys come back with lunch. You should be pleasant when you're around Sean," Her smirk still tauntingly plastered on her full lips, Nikita teased. She plopped down next to Alex on the couch and nudged her playfully. The young woman's response was less than playful.

Aggressively, Alex shoved Nikita off her. Whereas the former rogue laughed, the young woman was in no mood. She sulked into the couch cushion and continued flipping through channels. Nikita left her alone for a bit. Alex was able to relax again. Despite her annoyance, she did heed some of her friend's advice. She shouldn't fall asleep in the middle of the day. However, the more she flicked through channels, the more she dozed.

At some point, Nikita crashed back into her on the couch. Yet she didn't shout or bother her. Nikita simply began to brush and braid Alex's hair. Alex wanted to ask what exactly her best friend was up to, but the movements were so soft and comforting. She started to drift again.

"Sorry for bothering you. You should rest and relax," Nikita spoke softly. She ever so gently brushed and braided, brushed and braided, brushed and braided. Alex couldn't keep her eyes open. Slept crept up on her and held her under. She could barely register anything besides the constant comfort. She was only aware of the brushing and braiding, brushing and braiding.

When Alex finally fell asleep, Nikita tugged on a strand of hair so sharply it woke her back up. She apologized and continued her gentle movements. Yet when Alex fell asleep again, Nikita tugged again. Although she also said she was sorry again, the cycle continued. Asleep, tug, sorry, brush, braid, asleep, tug, sorry, brush braid, and so on and so forth. Alex wasn't fully conscious of the sequence, always too exhausted to notice. But after a particularly sharp tug, she figured it out. Nikita was still fucking with her.

"Go away!" Jerking away from the former rogue, Alex hissed. She also whined, yet that was a warranted reaction. Nikita laughed and finally ran off. She took her things with her, so Alex hoped that was the end of it. Finding something on the television she actually wanted to watch, she attempted to relax for the last time.

Controlling her laughter, Nikita decided it was time to check on Birkhoff. He had to have discovered that something was wrong with his laptop by then. And if he hadn't figured out how to fix it immediately, he was no doubt freaking out. The hacker might've pretended like he was a chill and laid back guy. Yet if something wasn't going his way, especially if it was on a computer, he flipped out.

Sure enough, when Nikita checked on Birkhoff, he was pounding on the keyboard. He knew his mouse wasn't working, but his inexperience with the tool left him confused on how to fix it. Being unable to control a mouse also presented an obstacle to the problem. He just slammed and cursed and let his frustrations control him. Nikita smirked. She leaned against his desk, hovering over him, "Problem, Nerd?"

"I can't figure out what's wrong with my touchpad," Birkhoff admitted distractedly, pointlessly and furiously tapping on the keyboard. The laptop wasn't actually his; he was borrowing it from Ryan. That was probably why he couldn't make the computer do what he wanted. It wasn't his fault the mouse wasn't working. It was all the stupid piece of junk's.

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?" Snidely, Nikita suggested. Birkhoff managed to give her the dirtiest look he could muster before returning to his frantic banging. She stifled her laughter with the back of her hand.

"There's a command key that'll fix it. I just can't figure out what," Birkhoff was thinking aloud rather than asking Nikita for help. Although she knew her way around a computer, he was sure he could figure out what was wrong eventually. No piece of technology could best him.

A part of Nikita wanted to walk away and let Birkhoff solve his problem on his own. He was sure to feel embarrassed when he realized after all his frustrations that he only had to double tap the touchpad. But she wanted a more active role in his torture. She wanted to rub his Shadowwalker braggings back in his face. He wasn't the best hacker in the world (Sonya had given him a run for his money, after all). Nikita had her own tricks up her sleeve, "Try it now."

"What'd you do? How'd you do that?" Once the former rogue tapped the left corner of the touchpad, Birkhoff's problems were miraculously solved. He gaped at Nikita, yet she only shrugged and walked away. He couldn't wrap his head around what she had done. Until he double tapped the touchpad mouse himself.

That was why he didn't work on computers that weren't his; it was only out of complete desperation (or boredom in that case) that he would ever borrow a laptop. There were functions he wasn't aware of that could deter his work. The fact that Ryan's touchpad could be disabled with a keyboard shortcut was one of them. It really was the laptop's fault that the hacker couldn't work. Well, the tech and a very annoying Nikita. He couldn't let her get away with her prank, "Are you fucking with me? Get back here."

Birkhoff chased Nikita down the hall. As he did, she finally let her laughter loose. That only pissed the nerd off more, which of course made her laugh louder.

Although the safehouse was soon filled with taunting giggles and biting curses, Alex had fallen dead asleep on the couch. She had battled her exhaustion as best she could, and she had lost miserably. Even with Nikita constantly interrupting her earlier, and the television blasting, the young woman still succumbed to sleep.

It couldn't have been called a beauty sleep. Alex remained slumped against the couch cushions, remote in hand and mouth gaped open. The awkwardly hilarious sight was well worth taking a picture. The instant Birkhoff and Nikita stumbled upon it, they stopped fighting and contemplated taking a picture of Alex. The two could come together to mess with her. Usually, Michael was the poor victim of the rogue's and nerd's combined fuckery. It was about time they found another target. At least to save Michael from perpetual annoyance.

Nikita, however, probably should have left Alex alone. She had messed with her enough. But sleeping during the day wouldn't fix her exhaustion in the long run; she should just go to bed early that night. Nikita should help her best friend stay awake.

She also had a great idea that'd let her mess with both Alex and Birkhoff.

Reaching for a pad of paper left on the coffee table, Nikita tore off a tiny little piece. She balled it up and threw it at Alex. Her intention was to shoot the paper like it was a basketball and her best friend's open mouth was the net. Except, she missed her target drastically. The paper hit Alex's chin, then bounced to the floor. The young woman didn't wake up.

With a scoff, Birkhoff tore off a small piece of paper as well. He knew he could make a better shot. Yet, when he threw the paper ball, he only managed to make it bounce off Alex's lip. At least she stayed asleep. The two idiots could continue to try and beat one another in their stupid little game. Almost an entire piece of paper was used up before either of them made a 'basket'. Cheating by inching just a little closer, Nikita managed to get a piece of paper into Alex's mouth. Birkhoff was going to harshly call her out on it, but then Alex began to cough.

At the sound, Nikita bolted. She disappeared from the room like her life depended on it. Birkhoff could only stare after her in utter confusion. What the hell was that about.

He got his answer as Alex woke up. She frantically spat up the paper ball and noticed all the other bits of trash around her. The only explanation she could find for her predicament was Birkhoff. He stood in front of her, the pad of paper clutched in his hand. She glowered. He soon noticed her expression and the fact that he was left all alone. Despite his suddenly blanched features, she lunged, "Birkhoff!"

"It was Nikita!" Birkhoff screamed instantly. Alex wouldn't listen, however. She darted off the couch with him in her furious sights. He wasn't able to run away and disappear like Nikita had miraculously done. He was the young woman's hapless prey.

Soon backed into a corner, Birkhoff frantically searched for any sort of escape. He didn't have any options. Nikita was long gone; he couldn't pass off the rightful blame. And no one else was there to potentially save him. Seriously, though, where the hell were Michael and Sean. That moment would be the perfect time for them to return with lunch. Birkhoff really needed Alex distracted with either food or Sean, "I'm sorry… I didn't… don't punch me."

"Oh. I'm not going to punch you," Wickedly, Alex grinned. She roughly grabbed Birkhoff's arm and dragged him with her to the bathroom. A million different retaliations filtered through her mind as she chased the hacker. Yet, she was limited on what she could do with her broken arm. She settled on her best idea and planned to fully commit to it.

Knowing better to fight against Alex's devilish grin, Birkhoff willingly followed her. He suspected the worst and prepared to have his ass kicked; however, the young heiress never laid a hand on him. She just shoved him into the bathroom and grabbed her hair and makeup kit.

Relief filled laughter broke free of Birkhoff's lungs. But the sound soon turned to a grunt as Alex roughly brushed his hair. She wasn't going to give him any regular makeover. She was going to fuck him up like he was a Barbie doll and she was an angry tween. He quickly accepted his fate. There were worse things Birkhoff could suffer. Besides, the makeup wasn't permanent. Alex would have her fun, maybe take a picture to torture him in the future, then he could wash it off. Hardly any damage would be done. It was a fair consequence to his actions.

Though, it wasn't all Birkhoff's actions. Nikita was to blame for a lot of it. She had been messing with her friends all afternoon. Birkhoff and Alex had grown sick of it. She had to pay. Once the nerd and young woman came to that shared conclusion, they excitedly began to plan how they'd make it come to pass. Their combined abilities could definitely torture Nikita like she had tortured them. Maybe they could even one up her. That'd certainly teach her a lesson.

While Alex and Birkhoff were preoccupied, Nikita wandered aimlessly around the safehouse. She cleaned things up here and there, but otherwise she had nothing else she could think of to do. She considered taking Alex's place on the couch and watching television. Yet she didn't have the attention span for that. She needed to be active. Fortunately, she didn't have to be listlessly bored for long. After some time, there was movement at the front door. Although Nikita had a feeling of who it might've been, she watched the door like she would on a mission.

"Hey," At the sight of her boyfriend walking through the door, Nikita instantly beamed. She ignored the food in his hand, and she ignored Sean entering behind him. She just skipped up to her man and stole a kiss from his lips.

Michael wouldn't complain about that in the slightest. Sweetly, lovingly, warmly, and softly, he kissed her in return, "Hey."

Sean rolled his eyes at the two. He took the food from Michael and moved to dump it and the drinks he carried in the kitchen. It would be a minute before the couple would join him. The two were absorbed in their own world. Nothing would break them from it.

Which was exactly what Birkhoff and Alex were planning on. As soon as Nikita was blissfully distracted by her boyfriend (and once Sean had safely moved the food out of the way) the two attacked. Alex wound up a towel and flicked it out, striking Nikita in the back of the knee. She crumbled with a shout. Once she was down, Birkhoff rushed up behind her and dumped a glass of ice water down her back. She cursed even louder. Her attackers scurried out of her reach, snickering.

Speechless, Sean and Michael stared dumbfounded at Alex and Birkhoff. They were so deeply confused by the attack, especially as they regarded the hacker's appearance- why did he look like the doll from the Rugrats. The two couldn't have been gone that long. It wasn't long enough for chaos to erupt. What had they missed.

Apparently, a lot. As soon as Nikita recovered, she sprinted after Birkhoff and Alex. It was their turn to laugh as she loudly cursed, "Assholes!"

When she caught up to them, shrieks and shouts echoed around the small safehouse.

"Do you wanna figure that out?" Sean wondered, slowly continuing to set the takeout out on the table.

"Nope," Michael easily ignored the craziness around him. No matter what, that would always be a constant for the team of former rogues. They should just accept it, move on, and incorporate their annoying antics into their new lives.