Set post-series. Michael helps Alex with her grief.

Michael and Nikita were making out on the couch. They had been watching a movie, but kissing and caressing each other became far more important. Eventually, Nikita turned the TV off, and Michael pulled her into his lap. They began to move against each other- grinding, gasping, touching, kissing- and they were starting to pull at each other's tops. But then Nikita's phone rang. Her husband urged her to forget it. However, her curiosity got the better of her and she peaked at the caller ID. Once she saw who it was, she jerked away, "Mhmm, it's Alex."

Although Michael sighed, he didn't stop his wife from talking to her best friend. She remained in his arms, after all. He could keep touching her while she excitedly picked up the phone, "What's up, Warrior Princess? Where you at now?"

"I'm in Pedernales," Alex responded shortly.

"Oh, you must be helping with the earthquake relief. Wait! You're only an hour and a half away from here," Nikita beamed. She hadn't seen Alex for a while. Lately, her UN job had her traveling all over the world with hardly a moment to breathe. But since she was in the same country, the two best friends could actually meet up and talk.

"I know," Alex gave another clipped reply. There was a long second of silence before she said anything else. But when she did, her voice sounded like it was about to break, "Is that room for me still available?"

"Yeah, of course… why? What's wrong?" Growing suspicious of Alex's tone, Nikita slipped off of Michael's lap. Her best friend wasn't calling just to chat. And she wouldn't leave a relief team just to visit. Something must've happened.

What that was, though, Alex wouldn't say. She just continued to give long pauses before responding briefly, "Nothing. I… I just wanted to visit."

"What's wrong?" Nikita asked more forcefully that time. It got the attention of Michael, who had been moping at the loss of his wife's touch; however, hearing her sharp tone, he began to worry about the phone call. He tried to ask about it, yet Nikita held up a silencing finger. She'd tell him in a second. Her focus was just on Alex for the moment.

Her pause that time was caused by her attempt to take a deep breath. It didn't work. Alex's voice shook and cracked, and she was close to tears. Emotions she couldn't name or even describe poured out of her, "I don't know… I just… I don't want to be alone right now."

"I'm coming to pick you up," Instantly, Nikita decided. She couldn't figure out what was making Alex cry, yet that didn't matter. She simply had to make sure she wasn't alone.

"What is it?" Watching his wife scramble for her keys and shoes, Michael frantically wondered. Was Alex hurt. Did something happen during the disaster cleanup. Was there a new catastrophe that the team of former agents and rogues had to take care of. What was going on, and would everything be alright.

"I don't know. But Alex is really upset- like, can't be alone upset. I'm gonna go get her and bring her back here," Moving the phone receiver away from her mouth, Nikita shrugged. When she saw Alex in person, she'd ask her what happened. For the moment, though, she was only worried about ensuring there was someone by her side. Being in that emotional state, knowing you couldn't be alone, was dangerous. Especially for former drug addicts. The fact that Alex had admitted that she needed to be with someone was good. Yet Nikita wouldn't let her struggle on her own for long.

Michael handed Nikita her purse and helped her with her jacket. He didn't have a clue as to why Alex was so upset, yet he'd still help her as best he could. While she told Nikita the address for the hotel she was staying at, he typed it into his phone and showed his wife the best and fastest route to take. Nikita nodded and prepared to leave. But when Michael went to put his phone away, he noticed the date. Realization hit him like a ton of bricks. That explained everything, "Wait, Nik. It's April nineteenth."

"Okay? And?" Pulling away her phone, Nikita stared at Michael bewildered. What did the date have to do with anything. Alex was hurting, who cared what the day was. Yet, as her husband held her back and glanced at her sorrowfully, she began to understand. That day had meaning- a very powerful and painful meaning, "Oh."

Sean had died on April nineteenth three years ago. The anniversary of his death plus working on a relief team for an extremely deadly and disastrous earthquake must've sent Alex into a tailspin. No wonder she couldn't be alone. A part of her was dying all over again. Except, when Nikita sprinted towards the door to get to her, Michael held her back again. Yes, Alex couldn't be alone that day. But Nikita couldn't be the one to comfort her. For that kind of hurt, Michael was the better balm, "I'm gonna go get her."

"Wait. You sure?" Confused, Nikita asked. She was fine driving and talking to Alex. She had comforted her before, and she could do it again. It was no problem.

"I think I need to," Gathering his shoes, wallet, and jacket, Michael replied. Nikita was always great at helping and soothing her best friend. That wasn't the issue. Michael simply believed that he had more comfort and advice to give. After a brief moment, Nikita agreed.

Passing her husband the car keys, Nikita pressed her phone back against her ear and updated Alex on the change, "Hey, Alex. You still there? Michael's gonna come get you. I'm gonna set up your room, put some really warm and fluffy blankets in there, and make your favorite meal for dinner. That okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah…" Alex sighed. She sounded like she had a better control of her emotions, yet she was still shaky. It was going to take her a long time to continue to heal.

"Arrange a flight to DC for tomorrow," Michael told his wife as she removed her shoes and jacket and moved to set up Alex's guest room. She glanced at him in confusion again, then it clicked. Alex should spend some time with Sean's sisters. And she should visit his grave. After the truth had come out, Sean had his honors restored to him, and he had been buried next to his mother. The team had been there for the service. However, Nikita didn't know how often Alex visited it. It'd be good for her if she did.

"Alright. Be safe. Call me when you have her," Nikita gave her husband a chaste kiss goodbye. He accepted her request, then raced off to reach Alex. Nikita didn't hang up the phone just yet, though. Moving to the guest room, she continued to engage her best friend in conversation. Even if she couldn't be with her physically, she could still ensure she wasn't alone; she never would be, "Okay, Alex. Michael's on his way. Why don't you stay on the phone with me for a little while more. We can talk about anything you want. Just take a second and breathe."

"I'm okay. Really… But can you talk? Just for a few minutes. Then I can finish up some paperwork and pack," Alex could wait until Michael reached her. With the things she had to do, she'd be fine until then. Though, it'd still would've been nice to listen to her best friend talk for a bit. It could help her stay grounded.

"Yeah, of course," Nikita responded softly.

Speeding and breaking a few other traffic laws, Michael reached Alex in less than an hour and a half. He texted her that he was there and waited outside the car for her. She came down with her suitcase a few minutes later. He instantly reached out to pull her into an embrace. She didn't hesitate to accept it, "Hey."

"Hey. I'm okay," Alex muttered into Michael's shoulder. She really was feeling better after listening to Nikita, focusing on some work, and knowing that her friends would drop everything and come running just to make her feel better. She didn't need to be treated like she was fragile. She'd be back to her normal self soon enough.

"I know. But you still don't have to be alone," Pulling away, Michael grinned gently. He took Alex's suitcase from her and put it in the trunk. She couldn't help but smile at his kindness.

While Alex climbed into the passenger seat, Michael called Nikita. It took her a moment to answer- he had gotten back into the driver's seat by the time she did. But he assumed she was just cooking, "We're on our way back."

"Cool. Hey, Alex. I'm thinking about making some fluffernutter sandwiches for dessert. Remind me again, do you like crunchy or smooth peanut butter?" Nikita sounded far away as she replied. She definitely was in the kitchen cooking and had placed the call on speaker. Yet her sass continued to be loud and clear. She was goading Alex into a response.

"You get that blasphemous crunchy peanut butter out of my sandwich," Alex warned Nikita, earning some light chuckles from the married couple.

"Good to know. See you guys in a bit," Nikita ended the call and left the two in silence.

Alex had a feeling she knew what Michael and Nikita were doing. By getting a rise out of her and waiting for her to speak first, they were trying to gauge how okay she was. She didn't think the two had actually planned to do that together. But nearly a decade's worth of partnership had left the two on the same wavelength. It would've been sweet if she didn't see it coming from a million miles away, "You know, some of her tricks are predictable."

"Still not predictable enough," Michael chuckled softly. He knew his wife better than anyone, yet she still managed to surprise him.

"What's it like being married to that maniac?" Smirking, Alex hoped to take the subject off of herself. Talking about Nikita would certainly distract Michael for a while. It'd give Alex a chance to calm down on her own and not need to rely so much on the others to stay sane.

"It's the best decision I've ever made," Michael couldn't stop the loving smile from blooming across his lips. But, honestly, why would he want to. He loved Nikita, and he was so glad that they were married. They got to spend the rest of their long, happy lives together in domestic bliss. It was perfect.

When Michael glanced at a suddenly silent Alex, however, he remembered that their happily ever afters wasn't so perfect for everybody. The young woman (God, she was still so young) had envisioned her life after their war with Division so differently. Sure, she was happy then. But it wasn't the same. She had lost the future she had wanted years ago. And although she was fighting for other people's futures, and she loved every second of that, she was still struggling to find her own, "It's been three years…"

"I know," Curtly, Alex cut Michael off.

"On March twenty-first, it had been fifteen years since I lost Hayley and Elizabeth," Michael had expected resistance from Alex, so he continued talking as though she hadn't said anything. He had been where she was. In fact, there were still some moments where he grieved and mourned like he had just lost his family. The pain came and went in waves. It wasn't anything you got over; you just learned to cope.

"Really?" Curiously, Alex looked at Michael. She hadn't realized that it had been that long. It almost seemed unimaginable. How could anyone carry that around for so long and not snap. She didn't believe she could do that, especially with how she felt then.

"The guilt and grief sneak up on you when you're in a good place," Quietly, Michael shared his experience with the loss of his love and family. Although he was happy then and in a great place, the guilt continued to attack him. It was possible that because he was so happy, his grief struck. He just had to keep reminding himself that it was perfectly okay that he was moving forward with his life and finding more happiness. And the same could be said for Alex.

"I don't think I can deal with this for twelve more years," Slouching in her seat, Alex practically wined. It had been only three years, and everything still hurt. There was no way she could last fifteen years- or longer.

Sparing Alex occasional glances from the road, Michael tried to formulate a response that'd give her hope for her future. Unfortunately, he couldn't think of anything good enough to say. He had once felt the same as her, and nothing had helped him- except for the thought of revenge. He had since learned that that wasn't healthy, so he wouldn't dare offer it as a solution. But maybe he could make her see that her pain was bearable if he related it to something else. Sean wasn't the first person she had lost, after all, "Your dad died twelve years ago."

"Yeah. But that's different. You know that," Crossing her arms over her chest, Alex gazed out the passenger side window. The death of a parent was drastically different than the death of a lover. Even if both were devastating and violent. Michael had lost both his parents before he had lost his wife and daughter. He knew that they were different types of pain, and he knew they required a different healing process. They couldn't be compared, not even in the slightest.

"It's hard living our lives when the person we're supposed to spend it with is gone. How can we be happy when the person who had made us the happiest isn't here anymore?" Michael repeated some long ago thoughts. He didn't feel that way anymore- at least not as strongly- but it was important that he shared them with Alex. It was what she was thinking then, and it wasn't an isolating thought. Many people had experienced it before. How one overcame it was what was defining. You had to learn how to move forward and not be so weighed down by the past.

Alex had no idea how to do any of that. Nikita had given her some advice based on her experience with Daniel, yet Alex couldn't make it work. She needed a longer lasting solution. Maybe Michael could provide her with that, "How did you… how did you move on?"

"I didn't move on. I moved forward," Michael corrected.

"What's the difference?" Alex couldn't understand why Michael felt the need to make that distinction. Hadn't he moved on when Kasim died and he started a relationship with Nikita. He had found a new future without his family. Wasn't that moving on.

"Elizabeth and Hayley are still with me. I will always carry them in my heart. But I learned to open my heart up to more people," That was actually something Nikita had told him once. Michael had woken from a nightmare, feeling hopeless and guilty and awful. And she had soothed him with those words. He hadn't replaced anyone in his life; he had simply learned to open himself up to more- more people, more love, and more happiness.

"Open it to Nikita," Alex rolled her eyes.

"And Max. And Birkhoff, and Sonya, and you," Again, Michael corrected. Nikita wasn't the only loved one in his life. His son and the family he had built around himself also had places in his heart. He wasn't alone, and he didn't have to push people aside. There was plenty of joy and happiness to go around- plenty of reasons to keep living.

Of course Alex shouldn't have assumed that Michael only meant Nikita. He had proven time and again how much his friends meant to him. In fact, he was proving how much he cared about her then. Yet she didn't want to focus on that. It was easier to narrow in on the name he didn't say than open up that can of feelings, "But not Sam."

"Yeah, well…" Michael shrugged. He could maybe consider Sam a friend. But even when he was Owen, the two had had a rocky relationship. It was going to take more time and effort for the two men to get closer. And neither of them wanted to work that hard at it.

When Alex chuckled, Michael decided to keep talking about the heavy subjects. She was in a better headspace to be able to hear them. He also felt secure enough to openly discuss them- to say the things only one other person had really heard, "It did take me ten years to open up my heart, though. And that was far too long. I kept Hayley and Elizabeth all to myself. No one knew about them, except for Percy and Kasim. And Amanda. And then Nikita."

Although Alex stared down at her lap, Michael knew she was listening to him. She was simply trying to take it all in, "It was actually a huge relief to talk about them with Nikita. It felt like all of the things I was carrying around had finally lifted. But even after five years, being happy felt wrong. Like, I couldn't allow myself to smile while their killer was still out there."

That story sounded familiar to Alex. She was fairly certain that Nikita had told her about the time she and Michael almost got together in Division. She never really explained why Michael had held back, though. Nor did she really explain the whole situation in general. But if Michael's grief for his family had been the cause for his hesitation, then that'd make sense. He couldn't move forward yet, "I think Nikita told me about that."

"I'm sure she did," Michael chuckled. Nikita didn't share a lot of the things he told her about Hayley and Elizabeth; she left that up to him. But he knew she had talked about their kiss in Division. He couldn't blame her for that. It was certainly something powerful and memorable. A part of him wished that he hadn't backed away from it. He should've allowed himself to be happy a long time ago, "Sometimes, I wish I had let myself move forward then. I wish I had let myself be happy. It's what Lizzie would've wanted."

Honestly, Alex was shocked by Michael's words. She wasn't surprised that he was opening up to her; he had told her about his family in the past. But she was still shocked by what he had said. She didn't think she had ever heard him call Elizabeth 'Lizzie'. That seemed far too open for him. But that was probably the point he was getting at. He had learned to be open, and he had learned to stop punishing himself for his family's death. He definitely wanted her to learn that too. Except she still didn't know how. How could she not punish herself for what had happened, "What helped you realize that?"

"Nikita," Michael shrugged. He could sense Alex's eye roll beside him, and he knew he had to explain himself. His love for Nikita wasn't what helped him; it was the fact that she was there. She was always there for him, "Not because of our relationship. But because I talked to her, and I listened to what she had to say."

"So talking is the only way to heal?" Alex huffed. Of course the one thing she hated was the one thing that'd help her. Nothing could ever be easy for her.

Talking wasn't the only way to ease the pain. That was just what helped Michael. It was okay if Alex needed more than that. She could find closure in other ways. Visiting Sean's grave was one of them. It probably seemed as pleasant as talking did, but it really could help. She had to have known that deep down. After all, she had been the one to make Sean visit his mother's grave, "When's the last time you visited his grave?"

Alex was almost ashamed to admit the answer. She had only visited her father's grave once after the war was over. She just couldn't face those headstones. It didn't seem right, and it certainly wasn't fair. They should be right next to her, not six feet under, rotting away in a dark, disturbing place, "The service."

Michael couldn't fault Alex for that. She was busy, and walking through that cemetery was hard. It took him well over a decade to visit Hayley's and Elizabeth's graves; though, there were some extenuating circumstances there, "Because of Division and the Shop, I was never able to visit Hayley and Elizabeth. Their bodies aren't buried there cause, well, you know. But they have a placard in the family mausoleum. My name's there too."

"It is?" Bewildered, Alex gaped at Michael. She never knew that he had been considered dead too. Though, thinking about it for more than two seconds, it did make a lot of sense.

"My death was faked when I was recruited into Division too," Michael explained with a smirk. The two should probably talk about his recruitment and time in Division more; there were a lot of gaps in her information. Which surprised him, considering who taught her.

Yet that could be a topic for another time. There were still important things to discuss, "Anyway. These past few years, everything has been going so well. Nikita and I eloped. We got our house on the beach. We're really happy. But one day, when I stood with her on the balcony, staring at the ocean, the guilt just struck."

That moment had happened a few months after his and Nikita's elopement. All of a sudden, Michael had felt wrong about living in a beach house with someone other than Elizabeth. It had been a strange feeling to have. It still was. Yet he understood why he had felt it, "Lizzie and I had talked about getting a house on the beach. I had even bought a house for us in Hawaii. We were supposed to move there after my assignment. But it never happened."

As Michael explained, Alex began to realize why living on the beach had been so important to him and Nikita. It wasn't just a beautiful paradise where they could relax and finally have no worries. The beach was where they could feel free enough to find a real home. Apparently, Michael had always thought that. He just never got to physically have it until then, "But you got that chance with Nikita."

"I love her. You know that. But for some reason, when we first moved into our house, it didn't seem right. It didn't seem fair," Michael admitted a tad shamefully. He had achieved his dream with Nikita, but it had taken him some time to accept that. Grief really was a hell of a thing. It could destroy beautiful things if you weren't careful.

"How did you stop feeling like that?" All Alex thought was how unfair and how wrong everything was. There had to be some trick to not think like that anymore; something had to work against her guilt.

"I talked to my wife," Michael chuckled dryly. All he had done to make himself feel better was talk to Nikita. He was so lucky to be with her. She knew just the right thing to do to make him smile again. Even though, at the time, he thought it'd be too painful, "She suggested that I finally go see Hayley and Elizabeth and talk to them too."

"And you went?" Alex had never heard about the two traveling to Louisiana. The former rogues and agents tried to keep each other updated on everything that was happening in their lives. But Michael and Nikita never mentioned that trip. Then again, they never mentioned their elopement, so what did Alex know.

"We flew to New Orleans together. But I had to build up the courage to go inside the cemetery. Nikita went ahead of me and introduced herself to Hayley and Elizabeth. She talked to them for a bit- she said she warmed them up for me," Michael recalled fondly. When he couldn't step foot into the cemetery, he had thought Nikita would stay by his side. Instead, she talked to Hayley and Elizabeth on her own.

He never knew what she had said. It didn't matter anyway. The fact that she had done that gave him the courage to speak. He finally got to say his 'goodbye's', "It felt good just talking to them. Even though they couldn't talk back, even though it was just their names, it felt like I could say 'I love you' again."

For a long time afterwards, Alex didn't speak. She just let Michael's words sink in as they drove to his and Nikita's beach house. She had a lot to think about. And she'd probably spend the rest of the night doing that. But that was a good thing. She actually had to let herself think about Sean, what had happened, and how she was healing. It was the surefire way to be better. Alex had to allow herself to feel, "Thank you."

"Of course," Smiling softly, Michael nudged Alex. She chuckled again. They talked on and off the rest of the drive, the topics drifting from serious to light. When they arrived at the beach house, Nikita had dinner ready as well as a huge embrace for Alex. They talked about Sean and grief again for a little bit, but then they focused on other things. That night didn't have to be completely serious and painful. The friends could find some light together. It made visiting Sean's grave the next day even easier for Alex. She didn't have to be weighed down by everything. She could still find ways to be lifted up.