X
"Dad?
"I'm going on the trip to Roppongi with Eddie and Michael."
"You hang out a lot with those American boys lately?"
Tyson shuffles his feet. The goldfishes swim past each other in the bowl.
"Yeah"
"That's good. Good. It's always good to meet people from different backgrounds and learn how the world works outside of our little bubble. I'm glad you're finding ways to do that in your own home country."
He stares at the wall. "So, can I go on the trip?"
"Yes! You have my full permission. Go to Roppongo. Step out of your comfort zone and explore life! There's so much to learn. So much to grow." Tyson twists his lips to the side. Biting their insides. "You're never going to be as young and free as you are right now. Go. Have a blast."
The top of the clock tower in campus blinks over the other buildings he can see through the window. "Thank you, dad."
"I love you"
"I love you too"
Racing streetlights. Open car roofs. Raised fingers trying to catch the wind.
The memories from last night with Kai flit through his mind.
Tyson hangs up and drops the phone on the table with a clatter.
He feeds the fishes. Four to five balls at a time. Any more and they will die.
"They don't know when they're full," Kai's husky voice floats in his ear. "They'll eat till their stomachs burst."
He'd picked him up on his way back to the dorm from the study center. Rolling up to him on the sidewalk. "Hop in"
He'd let him drive his car out of the city. Fought with him for the keys on an empty road.
Tyson had let him take him out to a stretch of dry land in the midst of a clogged up marsh where he couldn't tell where the sky ended and the water began. And let him kiss his lips under the streak of the Milky Way.
"Five more days of this shit and we're free!"
"Best week of our lives is coming up."
Tyson rummages through his locker which is located a few feet from the entrance of the block. For his homework. He'd finished it after classes yesterday and left it in the building. But now he can't find it because his locker is a complete mess.
"And then it's boobies and beers for days." Eddie humps the air. Michael slaps his shoulder, guffawing.
Every year, after the first mid-semester examinations, they got a week of holidays to cool down. It used to be a week to relax and take a break from the high-stress academic life back when the campus used to be full of nerds and try-hards, but now it's a seven-day escape from reality where everyone lied to their parents, flew to Roppongo or Shibuya and partied from morning till night, doing whatever they wanted to do. Literally whatever.
Tyson and his friends couldn't make the trip last year. They couldn't afford it. Roppongi is expensive. They didn't even have the money to cover half the cost of travel and accommodation. But they've been saving up since the beginning of the year. Working odd jobs. Tyson helped out at a local seven-eleven earlier this year for about five months before he had to quit because of school.
"I'm so excited I'm so excited I'm so excited," Eddie bounces on his feet. "You guys are going to see a side of me you've never seen before. You're gonna meet Wild Eddie!"
"Wow. Cool down, Wild Eddie. I've been talking to Emily about it and she's not coming."
"Which is a good thing. Who brings their girlfriends to Roppongi?"
Tyson finds his homework. "Ahan!" He takes out the papers then turns to face Michael. "You're not gonna cheat, are you?"
"Nopsie. It's like I said. I've already talked to her about it and she gave me the pass."
"Green light?"
"Yes, green light. She said, 'I'm not gonna stop you from living your best life for a few days. Knock yourself out, Michael' in her nasally, boss bitch Emily voice. You know the one."
"So, you're on a break now?"
"Yeah! We'll get back together when I'm back."
This is something most couples in their campus do when it's time for the mid-semester break. To avoid breaking hearts and to cut loose of all strings.
Tyson's mind wanders to Kai. The Blitzkriegs have made the trip every year. He'd heard the rumours along with everyone else. They get up to the nastiest shit. Two of them, Ian and Sergei, had come back with black eyes and broken noses last year.
Most third years don't go to Roppongo because of their huge workload, opting to stay home and work on their projects instead. But he's not sure about the Blitzkriegs. They're never one to turn down an opportunity to get smashed off of their faces.
"We need to get you laid," says Eddie all of a sudden, rubbing Tyson's chest. "You can't stand around like a nun while everyone else is fucking like rabbits."
Tyson rolls his eyes, closing his locker.
"Where's the excitement? You know what? I have a solution for your little problem."
"You do?"
He comes close to whisper in his ear. "I managed to grab hold of the greatest sex tape ever made, featuring the hottest chick in this campus of all time! Of all time!"
Tyson grins at his enthusiasm. "You're kidding"
"No! She's got the most amazing pair of boobs. Dude, you're going to lose your mind. I nutted like three minutes in. I haven't watched the whole tape yet. Wanna watch it with me tonight?"
Tyson considers his friend.
Eddie taps Michael. "You joining?"
"No, I gotta take Emily out tonight. We haven't been spending much time together lately. She's starting to whine."
"Tyson?"
He has been confused as of late. He thought he liked girls. But Kai's making him question his sexuality. He would like to know if he finds the alleged hottest chick of all time in their campus just as attractive as he finds Kai. Because if he doesn't, that would be troublesome.
"I'm in"
"Yeah?"
"Yep" He nods.
"Yes! We're jerking off tonight!" Eddie yells, throwing an arm around his shoulder as they start walking to class.
"We're jerking off!" Tyson joins, laughing, his friends flanking him.
Tala and Kai walk through the front doors at that very moment.
"Children" the former scoffs, scrunching his nose. "They're fucking children. Thank god Roppongo is this Sunday. I can't wait to get out of this hellhole and meet some real people." He eyes Kai. "You better be done with him by then," he says, slapping his chest before sauntering down the hallway.
Kai watches Tyson's head disappear in the crowd.
"Why haven't you fucked him yet?" asks Bryan's voice.
"It's not that easy."
"Oh come on, Granger can't be that hard. He seems horny enough to me."
"Horny doesn't mean ready to fuck."
They start down the hall.
"You screwed Ileana, man. Granger ain't shit compared to that. Now she was a real challenge." He glances at Kai with a chuckle, expecting him to gloat along.
The expression on his face is nowhere near proud. "The girl's dead," he says. "Keep her name out of your mouth."
Tyson and Kenny hang out after lunch.
"You're not coming?"
"Of course not," he says, pushing his glasses up his nose. "Roppongo is a little too wild for me, Tyson. But you would fit right in."
"What do you mean by that?"
They sit on one of the grey stone benches in the courtyard.
"You're always ready to explore. Try out new things. You don't stop to think about anything twice. It's a perfect place for people like you."
Tyson sips on his smoothie with the help of a straw, eyeing his friend. "May be. But I'm also a prude. Like you."
"You're not a prude."
"I recently discovered that I am, in fact, a prude. Grandma level compared to everyone else." He sets the drink down. "And Roppongo is full of the exact opposite type of people. I'm going to be incredibly uncomfortable there and I would like you to give me company. Let's be uncomfortable together."
Kenny laughs. "I don't know," he says unsurely after.
"Oh come on. You're not gonna get another chance to be wild and crazy. This is our only chance to let go and have some real fun. Who knows if we'll be able to make the trip in our senior year? I have enough for one more person." Tyson looks at him with teddy bear eyes. "Chief..."
"Use that money to get yourself something nice on the trip or ask Max. Or Rei."
"You're turning me down?"
"Ask them"
"They're both going home to see their families."
Kenny bites his lips. A troubled expression on his face.
"Look, it sounds great and we might have fun. But what if I regret it later? What if it brings more trouble than it's worth?"
Tyson keeps up the puppy eyes but he doesn't cave. "This is our one chance to find ourselves. To be who we really are and not have anyone judge us for it."
Kenny folds his arms protectively over his stomach. Contemplating what Tyson said.
"Please?"
Kenny uncrosses his arms to hold Tyson's hands.
"Please? Pretty please?"
"You really want me to go with you?"
"Yes! We'll have a ton of fun together!"
He tilts his head at him. Looking like he's about to give in.
Tyson wraps his hands around Kenny's and brings them under his chin. "Please?"
"Fine"
"I brought lotion."
"Baby lotion?" Tyson reads the label and stares at Eddie.
"It's the best thing. It's mild on your schlong, keeps your skin soft and most importantly, it gives you that good slide," he explains, gesturing with his hand in front of his pants.
Tyson throws it away from himself. Eddie catches it.
"Careful with that. I need it." He makes sure the cap is properly sealed. "You go dry?"
"Yeah"
"Oh you're doing it all wrong. That's why you don't like sex."
"Who said I don't like sex?"
"Well, you don't. Not as much as the rest of the us."
"That's so not true! I had a good time with both of my ex girlfriends."
"Exactly"
Tyson narrows his eyes. Eddie focuses his attention on the laptop in front of them on the mattress. The video is full screen and paused at the start.
"What do you mean?"
"Shut up, I'm playing it."
Tyson doesn't watch a lot of porn. He used to. Back when he was 16-17 for both educational purposes and for pleasure. But nowadays he does it sporadically. Whenever Eddie comes to him with a sizzling hot erotic masterpiece.
He trusts him with this.
The tapes he shows him are never bad.
Not even average.
Tyson puts his hands in his lap, sitting cross-legged next to Eddie.
He hits play.
The screen is black at first. Sounds of the camera being adjusted rise from the speakers. "Turn it down. I don't want the entire dorm to know we're watching porn."
"Like they care."
"Just turn it down."
Eddie decreases the volume so the sounds stay inside the room.
The camera focuses. A girl comes into view. She's smiling into the camera. Flirting with it.
"Who is she?" asks Tyson.
"She went here. A couple years ago. Isn't she hot?"
"Yeah. I mean her face is."
Because that's all he can see. She has luscious brown hair and almond eyes. Full bow-shaped lips and tan skin.
"She looks like a foreigner. What's her name?"
"Danielle. Dany? I don't know. She's American."
The camera zooms out. She's wearing a crop top and jean shorts. Her belly button exposed. He cannot figure out where she is but it looks like a bedroom. There's a bed next to her legs.
"Give us a show," says a man's gruff voice from out of the frame. It sounds vaguely familiar. Where has he heard it before?
The girl giggles. Pearly white teeth flashing. She does a twirl. Her hands above her in the air. Makes a few poses. Biting her lip. And playing with her hair.
"That's enough," he hears someone else say and Tyson's blood runs cold.
He watches with his breath arrested in his lungs as a man's shoulder comes into view. Black shirt. A glinting silver watch on his wrist.
He cannot see his face but just the back of his head is enough for Tyson to recognize him.
She grins at him when he grabs her around the waist. His hand running up her tan stomach into her shirt. His mouth dropping to her neck.
"Eddie?"
No response.
The girl lets out a low moan when his hand slips into her shorts. Tyson's heartbeat goes haywire. He hits the space bar to stop the video.
"What the fuck did you do that for?"
"We can't watch this."
"Why not?"
He's got to be kidding him.
"The Blitzkriegs shot this."
"So?"
"Was it filmed with consent?"
"Of course it was. Did you not see the girl at the beginning? This happened back when they were first years."
Tyson stares at Eddie. Calculating. "She was a fourth year."
"Yeah. Kai was screwing fourth year girls when he was a freshman. How do you think he built his reputation? Dude was batshit crazy in his first year. The Blitzkriegs are untouchable now because they were monster freshers. Literally everyone was piss scared of them. There wasn't a thing they were afraid of. The seniors who tried hazing, ended up crying or even worse, expelled."
"People are still scared of them."
"Yeah, especially the seniors. We ain't seen nothing, but they were here to witness fresher Blitzkriegs. And boy, this sex tape is the tamest thing they ever did."
"Are there others?"
"Of course. I bet Kai has a whole collection of them somewhere in his computer."
Tyson gapes at Eddie with horror. "What?"
"Shush" He puts a finger to his own lips. "Now let's watch. Shall we?"
He goes to resume the video. Tyson stops him. "We can't"
"Why not?"
"We know the guy. Doesn't that seem a bit weird to you?"
"We don't know the guy. We know of the guy. But does it matter? Ignore him. Why are you looking at him? We're here for her." He leers pervertedly before pressing play again.
Tyson gulps. It doesn't seem right. He shouldn't be watching this. Yet he cannot look away.
They're sitting on the bed now. Making out. The girl in Kai's lap. Half naked. Her hair obscures his face.
"Damn" he hears Eddie whisper.
Kai's hands are on her hips. She's moving on top of him. Making all kinds of wrecked sounds.
"Look at that skin."
The camera films them from the side. He lays her down on the bed. She raises her legs as he rolls her panties off.
Tyson turns his chin away.
His eyes look at bland white walls and posters.
They return to the screen after a minute.
Kai's shirt is open. It hangs off his shoulders as he kisses down her body, descending lower and lower. Till his head reaches between her legs and the girl's back arches off the bed.
Her hands come up to clutch at his hair.
Tyson feels like he's in the sun.
Loud moans penetrate the air.
Kai's hands are on her thighs. Holding them in place when she bucks beneath him.
Tyson presses down on his feet, his wrist brushing against his crotch.
When he takes her, he takes her from the back. Gathering her hair into a ponytail and then winding it around his hand. From this angle, he's almost fully clothed. He gets brief flashes of his waist when his shirt moves out of the way.
His thrusts are hard. Punishing. Danielle losing her mind under him.
He switches positions in between. Lying on his back on the bed, holding her above him. Her front facing the camera. His hand around her throat. Tyson's eyes trail down to where they meet. He sees him move in and out of her. The sight of him filling her up makes his brain short circuit.
The camera swivels to her face when she comes with a broken sob. Writhing over him. Her eyes falling closed. Mouth falling open. Kai's lips grazing her cheek.
His pace slows.
Tyson forces his gaze away when the camera pans down their bodies.
He hears someone curse out of the frame. He sounds like Tala.
A pleased groan escapes Kai right before the video ends.
Tyson sits still. Unable to move. His eyes on the blacked out screen.
"Fuck" Eddie swears. "I came"
He changes out of his day clothes and into his pajamas. The cute white ones with small yellow basketballs all over them. He brushes his teeth and pads into his room.
Max is pulling an all-nighter at the library. He has an exam tomorrow.
Tyson closes the door.
Looks at his bed.
There's no one around. He could do whatever he wanted. It's still ten-thirty. He has time.
"Oh you're doing it all wrong. That's why you don't like sex."
He crosses the room. Toward the end table next to the bed. He pulls open the first drawer. It's cluttered with stuff. Hair gels, shaving cream, deodorants, shower gels. And a tub full of moisturizer.
He takes it out, nudging the drawer shut with a knee.
He opens the lid. The cream is untouched. He's never used it.
He reads the label. The ingredients. The fine print. Because he doesn't want an allergic reaction.
Someone knocks on the door.
Urgh. Why can't these guys ever go to sleep early?
He puts the cream down to go answer it.
He opens the door and peers out. His eyes go wide. It's Kai. What the fuck.
No. Not you. Not now.
Tyson feels his soul leave his body when his eyes roll down his form.
He sticks a hand out, grabs the idiot by his sleeve, and yanks him inside.
He shuts the door.
"What are you doing here?" he asks. Anybody could have seen him standing outside his door.
"Cute PJs" Kai pulls at his shorts. His gaze inky black on Tyson.
"Stop"
"Relax. I'm here with the Union. Tala's checking the showers." He surveys the room. Walking further in. His boots making no sound.
Tyson clenches and unclenches his hands as Kai wanders around the room. Taking in the posters. The messy tables. The books. The mattresses. He eventually sits down on Tyson's bed.
Tyson crosses over to the table. Folding his arms.
His legs are bare. From almost mid-thigh. He doesn't wear these pajamas when Max is around. It's for his eyes only.
Next to Kai. Fully dressed Kai. In his big black jacket and stomper boots. Tyson feels exposed.
He pulls the long sleeves over his fingers nervously as Kai's gaze falls on him once more.
The video is all he can see when he looks at Kai. He feels guilty. Caught.
"This is your bed?"
"Yes"
He stares at his bed. Wondering if Kai sees something other than a blue blanket, patterned sheets and a pokemon pillow.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Hm"
Kai's gaze locks upon his. "Why does the room smell of sex?"
Tyson's heart thrums.
He feels his cheeks grow hotter immediately.
"What do you mean?" He gulps. "It's probably sweat. And...and food."
Kai stares. "Why do you look so guilty?"
Tyson squeezes his arms above the elbows. He cannot know. He cannot find out. He moves his hands behind his back. Crossing one thumb over the other wrist.
He shakes his head. Lifts a shoulder in a half-shrug. Feigning ignorance and nonchalance.
Kai stands up.
Walking towards him.
Tyson's back hits the table.
Shit
"What did you do?" he asks, his voice soft. Velvety.
No. No. Tyson's breathing goes shallow. He twines his fingers together. Unable to meet Kai's eyes.
His hands come up to cradle his face. They're so big his thumb takes up half his jaw. His fingers are slightly rough on his skin. They make him feel fragile. Breakable.
"Look at me."
Tyson raises his gaze. Slowly. Kai's eyes are filled with lust.
"What did you do?"
He shakes his head. I didn't do anything.
"Did you touch yourself?" he asks quietly, eyebrows arching softly.
He knows. He can smell it in the air. His arousal.
"Were you going to touch yourself?" he asks and hits the nail right on the head. "Have some fun alone?" His fingers caress his face between them. "Who were you going to think of? Me?"
Tyson's overly aware of his pants. Of his bare skin under the pajamas. If he were to reach out and touch. He wouldn't stop him.
"Are you naked under your shorts?"
Oh my god.
"Are you naked?" he prods gently. His eyes soft.
Tyson nods.
Kai takes a quiet breath through his teeth. A violent glint appearing in his gaze. His hands move around his face like he's going to do something.
Somebody bangs loudly on the door. They break apart.
Tyson flees from Kai so fast he's not sure he didn't teleport. Oh my god. What was that?
Tala flings open the door. "There you are!" he exclaims, then sniffs the air. Twice. "Ugh, why does this room smell like sex?" He pinches his nose.
Kai glances at Tyson once, then grabs the air freshener on the table like nothing happened and sprays.
"Keep the room clean," he says with a humorous twinkle in his eye before leaving.
Tyson stands alone in his room, dazed, when they've both left.
