Set before the epilogue in 4x06 "Canceled". This could be a slight AU. I don't know. Nikita had a nose ring in like one or two flashbacks, and I've always wanted her to have one again. So I wrote this. Then it took on a life of its own. So enjoy.
"Hey!" Alex called out when she entered Michael's and Nikita's house. Nikita had texted her, telling her to come over and to let herself in. Alex didn't have anything else to do that day, so she figured why not. She was up for a little adventure with her best friend. And considering the vagueness of her text, that was exactly what was in store.
"Hey! I'm in the bathroom!" Nikita shouted in reply. Curious, Alex quickly locked the front door and hurried to join her friend. She didn't know what she was expecting, but a counter covered in small earrings, alcohol swabs, antibacterial soap, q-tips, a tablet, and some needles definitely wasn't it. Staring at the cluttered mess, Alex attempted to piece all the information together. But she was honestly at a loss. Even after all those years, there were still times where she couldn't comprehend what was going on through Nikita's head. Honestly, though, that was probably a good thing; it meant she wasn't insane.
"Whatcha doing?" Leaning against the doorframe, Alex wondered in amusement. She had noticed that Nikita had more and more piercings in her ears lately, but there was no way she was doing that on her own. She had the time and money to go to a piercer and do things the smart and safe way. There was no need to hide out in their homes and do everything in secret. The team of former rogues could enjoy the light. They could be real people.
Nikita was well aware of that. However, for what she was doing, it was just easier to do it on her own. Besides, she wasn't really putting a lot of thought into it. She was mostly acting on her impulse desires. Michael had said that she should start doing the things she had always wanted to do but couldn't either because of the war or because she was controlled by others. Nikita wasn't going to let overthinking, anxiety, or logic stop her then. She was just going to go for it, no matter how potentially stupid it was, "Okay. Bear with me…"
"Oh no. This can't be good," Laughing, Alex interrupted. The fact that Nikita's most insane plans hadn't even started like that, Alex was in for a ride. She was excited for that, though. She was in for some senseless, crazy, low stakes fun.
"Shut up," Rolling her eyes, Nikita huffed. She couldn't help but smile though. She was excited for some fun with her best friend where they could laugh without thinking about the next day or any looming threats. No matter how long the team of former rogues had been free, that was a weird thing to think about. It was going to take a while to adjust to normal. Well, as close to normal as the crazy rogues could get.
"What is it?" Still laughing, Alex pushed off the doorway and entered the bathroom. She had already decided that whatever Nikita was up to, she was all for it. She just hoped that the insanity was more manageable than most of the shit the two had run into.
Nikita sighed before she started her explanation. She probably didn't need to completely explain herself or her motivations. But it could save her from some taunts from Alex. And she always wanted to avoid that, "So, I had a nose ring before Division. Amanda convinced me to take it out so I could be a classy lady or whatever the fuck."
"Yeah. I lost a couple ear piercings because of that," Alex nodded. There wasn't much recruits could do about their tattoos, but Amanda made it a point to remove facial piercings, body piercings, and excessive ear piercings. Agents had to be presentable, after all. Though, honestly, that was probably more of a way for Amanda to assert her control rather than making sure the recruits and agents were poised and proper ladies and gentlemen. Alex was so glad that the bitch was out of their lives for good.
"Right. I took out my nose ring and a few earrings. And when I went rogue, I thought the holes had closed up, so I didn't bother putting jewelry back in them. But then, I was reading the other day. And apparently, there's a way you can open them back up," Nikita continued enthusiastically. She had thought that she didn't care about her closed piercings. But learning that she had the opportunity to open them again had made her excited. Michael had claimed that it had something to do with the fact that she could physically reclaim something Division had taken from her. But Nikita didn't see it that way. She just thought her piercings were cool.
"Wait. Seriously?" Alex was instantly as excited as Nikita. She had liked the different earrings she had been able to decorate her ears with. And since she had tons of money to burn, there were so many beautiful pieces of jewelry she could adorn her ears with. She just didn't have enough space for all of them. But, if she re-pierced her ears, that wouldn't be a problem anymore. She could have as much jewelry as she wanted. No one was stopping her.
"Yeah. I already tested it out on my ears, and it worked great," Proudly, Nikita showed off the various earrings in her ears. They were still healing from being re-pierced. But, otherwise, they looked amazing. She was glad that she had gone through with that idea. Hopefully her next one would work out just as well.
Admiring Nikita's work, Alex was becoming more and more convinced to re-pierce her ears. She needed to know what to do, and she needed to do it immediately- probably before her conscience caught up with her, "You have to send me that article."
"I will. After you help me re-pierce my nose," Nikita promised before she shared her actual idea. Re-piercing her ears had been rather simple. But her nose was going to be tricky. She needed some help. Since Michael was gone for the day (and since he probably would've talked sense into her) Alex was a good choice as assistant. After all, she would buy her a rocket to go to the moon. Which meant that she'd definitely help her pierce her nose.
Alex simply had to get over her shock first. Pierced ears were one thing. But Nikita with a pierced nose completely surprised her. It wasn't something she'd expect. Though, it was something Alex could easily picture. Especially with the badass style the former rogue had already curated, "You want a nose ring again?"
"Not an actual ring like I used to have. Just a little diamond stud. I think it'd be cute," Nikita shrugged. She had seen people with small diamonds in their nose, and she wanted that. It wasn't as gaudy or flashy as the ring she used to have; it'd be simple, stylish, and cute.
Also, it could be a bridge between her past life and her future. She had been trying more to reconcile with her past actions and accept the person she had been. She was both monster and hero- a force of chaos and good. She could reclaim her wild style from her past and put an elegant spin on it. So maybe Michael had been right. Nikita was physically taking back her stolen past. She had finally accepted who she was, every last inch of her. And she was going to take that and soar right into a bright future.
"And badass," Alex added with a smirk. Nikita laughed herself out of her thoughts. Although it wasn't the main motivator, her appearance was definitely a factor. Nikita was ready to up her fashion game since becoming a real person again. Maybe she could ditch all the black Alex complained she wore too much off.
"So you're gonna help?" Nudging her best friend, Nikita brought Alex back to the point. She had texted her to come over for a reason; though, she did appreciate the compliments. She'd take that over the taunts the former rogues always threw at each other any day.
"Absolutely. I want to live vicariously through you," Alex beamed as she grabbed the tablet Nikita had set on the counter. She'd have to look at whatever her friend had been researching if she was going to truly help. She could also get an idea of what she had to do when she re-pierced her ears later. She had learned numerous times that it was better to be prepared than to jump into crazy ideas blind.
"You want a nose ring?" Intrigued, Nikita wondered. Alex hadn't talked about piercings she wanted before. If anything, she just talked about tattoos she'd like to have. If the young woman wanted a nose ring, though, then Nikita would definitely help her get one. The insane lengths the best friends went for each other extended wide on both ends.
Shrugging, Alex didn't necessarily have an answer to that question. A part of her would like a nose ring. Or, at least, a part of her liked the concept of a nose ring. But the majority of her would rather not have her nose pierced, "Kinda. But my mom has already gotten on me a lot for my tattoos, and I don't want to hear it if I get a nose ring. Also, I don't want to deal with the pain. Or that thing where if you hit a nerve you can paralyze your face."
Nikita paused upon hearing Alex's last point. She had heard that rumor before. Yet, it hadn't deterred her when she first pierced her nose (though, she honestly didn't remember having her nose pierced- it just was one day). At that moment, however, she did greatly consider fucking up and paralyzing herself- even though she was only putting the stud in a hole she already had. Once again, there was a chance that she hadn't thought her plan all the way through, "Is that even a real thing?"
"I don't want to find out," Alex shrugged again. There was a chance that it was only a myth. But with the kind of luck she had, she didn't want to tempt it. She could be fine just watching Nikita do it. Like she had said, she could live vicariously through her best friend.
"So you're just gonna watch while I do the stupid and potentially dangerous thing?" Nikita scoffed. She shouldn't really be that surprised. After all, she could go to a professional piercer to re-pierce her nose. But then again, she already had a small hole in her nose. She only had to open it back up. She should be fine.
"Always do," Alex smiled and nudged her best friend. Of course, if anything did go wrong, she'd step in and do something. But Nikita was always capable. Alex was just there to provide support and the occasional quip.
"Enabler."
"Dumbass."
The two tried to glare at each other, but they very quickly collapsed in giggles. Nikita managed to compose herself first, and she began to wash her hands. If they didn't start re-piercing her nose then, they were never going to do it. And she wanted it done that day, preferably before she second guessed herself (and preferably before Michael got home so she could surprise him), "Just help me find the hole."
With Alex's help, Nikita found the site of her old nose piercing. From there, she was able to do what she had to to open the hole back up and put in the small diamond stud. As she watched her, Alex's already slight desire for a nose ring waned. The sight of Nikita digging around in her nose was not a cool or badass one. Alex didn't want to have to go through that just to have a piece of jewelry on her nose. She could be content with just her ear piercings. There was no need for more, "Yeah. Nevermind. I think I'm good without a nose ring. I don't want anyone digging around in my nostrils like that."
Nikita rolled her eyes. She was too busy securing the stud to say anything in response. Fortunately, there were other ways she could retaliate. Instead of immediately washing her hands once the diamond was in place, Nikita moved to wipe her fingers on Alex's shirt. The young woman barely escaped in time, "You're fucking demented."
Smirking to herself, Nikita washed her hands and cleaned up the mess she had made of her nose. The diamond shone brightly against her bronze skin when it was all cleaned. Although it was sore and would be tender for a while (and absolutely hell the first time she blew her nose), she was glad she followed through with her idea- just like with her earrings. All that pain and risk led to amazing rewards. Nikita couldn't help but beam as brilliantly as her new diamond stud, "How's it look?"
"Awesome. Michael's gonna go insane when he sees it," Alex matched Nikita's smile. The small stud had been a great call. She looked amazing. And the blush that crept on her cheeks at the thought of Michael's reaction made her smile even brighter. Alex had half a mind to joke about it, but then confusion hit her. She realized that she hadn't seen or heard Michael at all since entering the house. Considering what Nikita was doing, that was odd. He'd at least be hovering or supplying a voice of reason. He had to have been out of the house. Doing what, though, Alex couldn't even guess, "Where is he anyway?"
"Oh, he's just dealing with some coming back to life shit," Nikita sighed. Alex had warned them that reclaiming their identities required a lot of paperwork. But since they weren't heiresses, the team dismissed her warning. God had they been so wrong. There was so much red tape that had to go through just to live their lives. It was starting to get annoying. Yet soon they'd be on their own. Then they could have everything they dreamed about as they had waited for the long and disastrous war to end.
"Is he going back to the Navy?" Alex asked. Michael had had a life before Division intervened. Since he had his identity back, he could return to it. Well, he could return to a part of it. Alex could picture him as a Naval intelligence officer again. After his experience in Division, he'd fit the role well. Or maybe he could even be some kind of trainer for the new sailors. He definitely had experience helping recruits adjust, learn, thrive, and survive. He was also really good at it. If it wasn't for Michael looking out for her, there was a chance Alex wouldn't have survived her early days in Division.
"I asked him, but he says he's done with war. He wants to focus on other ways he can help people," Nikita replied, beginning to clean up the counter; Alex helped. If Nikita was being completely honest, a part of her was glad that Michael was officially retiring from the Navy. She didn't think she could handle it if he was deployed and she was stuck at home. Wherever he went, so did she. That definitely included a war zone.
Unable to stop herself, Alex thought about what Sean would've chosen if he was still alive. Would he have retired, or would he have tried to be a Seal again. Before those thoughts could completely overwhelm Alex, though, she shook them free. She couldn't dwell on that. It might kill her if she did. She had to focus on something light instead. Making fun of Michael seemed like the easiest choice. She could express a joke that at least one of them had expressed before, effectively changing the subject and changing her thoughts, "He just doesn't want to be away from you when he deploys."
"You think I wouldn't follow after him? If he's going to war, I'm going to war," Nikita stated. Following each other into hell, that was what Michael and Nikita did. The Navy couldn't change that; it'd just make it harder for her to follow him around the world. But she'd still try. For him, she'd always try.
"You'd join the Navy?" That was a thought that completely distracted Alex. She couldn't picture Nikita in any sort of military role. Honestly, she could hardly picture her as a recruit. The former rogue could not follow a rule to save her life (literally). There was absolutely no way she could serve in the Navy. She'd go rogue again before her first operation.
"Oh hell no," Vehemently shaking her head, Nikita negated. Even if Michael had rejoined the Navy, there was no way in hell she would've signed up with him. She had been done listening to orders for years. She wasn't going to start again then.
Laughing, Alex didn't know why she would ever think otherwise. Whereas Michael was a soldier, Nikita was insane. If she was going to follow him into war, she'd do something wild and out of pocket. In reality, Alex didn't think she could ever imagine specifically what Nikita would do for Michael- practically everything was on the table. But, hypothetically, she could joke about ridiculous and unrealistic things she could picture her best friend doing, "What would you do then? Climb into his mission bag so he has to carry you with him?"
"I'd fit."
"Bullshit."
"I fit in that cart," Defensively, Nikita recalled. She had managed to fit in the cart Alex had wheeled around a maximum security prison. Sure, it was a bit uncomfortable and awkward. But the idea had worked. She could do something like that again. Though, maybe with some better stretches beforehand.
"A cart is bigger than a bag," Rolling her eyes, Alex pointed out. She might not have been as familiar with Michael's mission bag as Nikita, yet she did know that it was nowhere near the size of that cart. There was no way the former rogue could scrunch herself up enough to fit. It didn't matter how determined she was. She wasn't that tiny.
"I'd still fit," Finishing cleaning the counter, Nikita attempted to argue. A large part of her knew Alex was right. However, she just couldn't admit defeat. She was going to find a way to hide herself in Michael's mission bag if it was the last thing she did.
"Prove it," Flicking Nikita's freshly re-pierced nose, Alex called her bluff. Her best friend recoiled in pain, flipped her off, then stormed to hers and Michael's bedroom. Smirking in triumph, Alex followed.
Nikita had to dig Michael's mission bag out of the closet. Alex had brought it from her plane when she had met with the team on the Marine base, and then it was immediately stored in the closet. The former rogues weren't using it. There was no need for it besides to help them pack things when they eventually moved. The bag still had Michael's mission gear stashed away, though (not the weapons- those were confiscated). So Nikita had to dump it out before climbing in it. Alex shook her head at the actions. To her, that seemed like cheating. Michael would have a full back when he deployed, after all, "It doesn't count if you have to remove the gear."
"Would you rather have me lay on top of the guns, or the guns lay on top of me?" Nikita snarked. Neither was safe. But if Nikita were to really lay in a bag full of weapons, it'd be better if she wasn't jostling on top where either she or someone else could get hurt. Alex couldn't argue against that, so she let her friend proceed.
Haphazardly dumping out Michael's gear, Nikita almost missed something else that was in his bag. She only spotted it when she was trying to figure out how she could possibly fit inside the duffel. The thing poked out of the lining, just like the picture of Max she had found years before. Curious, Nikita reached to see if she could pull the thing out or see if it was just the tag or something. When she realized the item was removable, her curiosity grew exponentially, "Wait. Does he have something else hidden in the lining?"
As Nikita pulled the item from the bag, Alex moved to her side; she had to see what it was as well. But it wasn't anything that interesting- at least at first glance. The hidden item was just a bundle of folded papers, haphazardly tied together. Turning it over in her hands, Nikita noticed Michael's handwriting scrawled on top of the pages. He had addressed them, whatever they were, to her, "'To Nikita'?"
Immediately, Alex ripped the paper from Nikita's hands. She pulled a page from the loose binding, unfolded it, and hastily read what was written on it. Her face blanched as she did. Nikita reached to pull them away from her, but she turned her back on her best friend and quietly muttered a gutted, "Oh."
"Why? What is it?" Nikita attempted to reach for the pieces of paper; however, Alex kept jerking them away from her. If she wasn't so curious, Nikita would've been livid. She just wanted to know what Michael had hidden from her. Was it something bad. Alex wouldn't have reacted like that if it was anything good. Nikita needed to know what it was. What kind of secrets was Michael keeping from her. What couldn't he just tell her.
Folding the letter, replacing it in the bundle, and re-hiding it in Michael's bag, Alex had to take a moment before she could answer Nikita. She knew her friend deserved immediate answers. But the young woman had to collect her thoughts first. It was a lot to take in at once. Especially when the memories were so fresh and raw, "I found a couple notes like that after Sean died. Soldiers write them for their loved ones in case they never make it back home."
Glancing between the hidden notes and Alex, Nikita could only open then close her mouth. If she had any thoughts, then maybe she could respond to that information. But she just sort of short circuited. The best she could do was sigh in heartbroken realization, "Oh."
Although her fingers itched to take the letter out and read it, Nikita refrained. She didn't think she could put herself through that- and Michael was alive. She couldn't even fathom reading those if he was gone. It'd probably break her. Just like the memory of finding notes like that after Sean's death seemed to break Alex.
Composing herself, Nikita gently approached Alex and laid a comforting hand on her bicep. The young woman hardly reacted. She just stared at Michael's mission bag, helplessly and hopelessly lost in thought. Nikita had to draw her friend out of her head; she had to help soothe the pain in her heart. However, she was fairly certain that Alex had enough of the others talking to her. She needed to talk instead, "So you found a letter from Sean?"
"He gave me letters to give to his sisters after he was recruited. But, um… I… I didn't look for mine until the months you were gone. I couldn't…" Quietly, Alex admitted. Although she knew Sean had written a letter for her too, Alex hadn't had the strength to look for it for a long time. And it took her an even longer time after that to even read the letter. She just couldn't bear to read Sean's words to her after she had caused his death. She didn't want to remember how sweet and loving he was to her. The pain had been easier to live with than the unconditional love he had had for her.
A part of Nikita wanted to ask Alex what the notes said. However, she knew better than to pry like that. If her friend wanted to tell her what she read, then she'd tell her. Nikita shouldn't ask about the contents; she shouldn't dig up painful feelings. Though, she had to keep Alex talking. It was good for her to let her emotions vent. She knew then that bottling them up was going to destroy her. Alex had to talk. Fortunately, Nikita would always be there to listen, "How'd it make you feel?"
"Honestly. Better," Alex managed a small smile. After her initial sobs and heartbreak, reading Sean's words to her had helped her immensely. It was something physical of his that she could carry around with her forever. She could also always hear his voice and picture his smile when she read his words. Sean was gone; however, he'd always be with Alex. And that wasn't just her thoughts on the matter. He had told her exactly that in his love letter, "It still helps when it starts to hurt again."
Softly matching her grin, Nikita squeezed Alex's bicep. She was really glad that Alex was healthily grieving and healing after Sean's death. But reading his letter wasn't the end of the process. It was a journey she had to keep going on; it was something she had to keep talking about, "So does talking. Or so I'm told."
Alex rolled her eyes and scoffed. She was well aware of the magic of talking- of venting. But she really didn't want to go through all of those heavy and harsh emotions. She and Nikita had been having so much fun before they had found Michael's hidden letter. Couldn't they return to that. It was easier not thinking and only laughing. It was easier being senseless and careless, "Can we just go back to being stupid?"
"How 'bout we be stupid while we talk. I can help you with your old piercings, and you can bear your soul," Nikita compromised. She had seen how excited her best friend had become at the idea of re-piercing her ears. If they did that while she talked about Sean, maybe it'd be easier for her to express her guilt and pain. Or maybe she could just vent with cusses as she went through the uncomfortable process of re-piercing. Either way, when she was done talking, she'd have ears full of beautiful jewelry to show off. It was a painful process, but she'd still have something she'd love and cherish.
"Oh fun," Although Alex muttered, she let her best friend drag her back to the bathroom. It wasn't until after Nikita explained how to re-pierce her ears that Alex began to talk. Her words were clipped and muted at first. Also focusing on her ears didn't help. Yet as the piercing process became easier, so did talking. All the pain and discomfort she felt was soon forgotten as she put her thoughts into words. It felt so good just to get them out. She didn't have to hold it all against her heart and let it damage her. She could find a way to ease the pain and smile.
Once Alex was done re-piercing her ears and talking, she and Nikita cleaned the mess they had made and moved to the living room. Spent after all she had let out, Alex plopped on the couch and asked to watch a movie. Nikita complied easily. She also gave her best friend a blanket and let her use her lap as a pillow. The young woman curled up on the sofa and- with the former rogue playing with her hair- only lasted a few minutes into the movie before she dozed off. Nikita let her sleep. She continued to soothe her by playing with her hair, and she turned the volume down. Alex could rest for a moment. It was the least she deserved.
That was the scene Michael walked in on when he returned home. Nikita was silently watching a movie on the couch while Alex napped in her lap. He chuckled softly to himself and smiled warmly as he locked the door behind him and moved further into the house. Hearing him, Nikita tore her eyes away from the movie and grinned. Michael quickened his steps so he could join her in the living room, "Hey."
"Hey," Nikita echoed. She kissed Michael lovingly once he reached her, smiling brightly into the simple affection. He copied her grin instantly, and kissed her again. Since they had found their way back to each other again, the couple didn't hold back on their kisses, touches, and smiles. They were happy and in love, and everyone had to know it. Especially themselves.
"Hey, Alex," Remembering that Alex was also on the couch, Michael separated from the kiss and squeezed the young woman's shoulder. She didn't react. Though, it was obvious that she had woken when the front door had opened. She simply didn't want to get up yet.
"Mhmm," While Alex whined and burrowed deep into her best friend's side, Michael and Nikita fought to contain their laughter. Despite everything they had been through, waking Alex when she didn't want to wake up was still a nightmare. The couple just had to let the young woman finish out her nap on her own terms. If they did, she'd be a much more pleasant person to talk to when she woke.
"So what trouble have you guys been up to all day?" Talking only slightly above a whisper, Michael asked. Nikita and Alex must've had some kind of adventure while he was gone. He didn't doubt that whenever the two best friends were together. It must've been eventful though if Alex was so tired. He began to wonder if they really had gotten into trouble. While they were still on a military base, he really hoped they didn't.
"Oh. Nothing," Nikita couldn't help her smug little grin as she shrugged. It had taken Michael a second to notice when she re-pierced her ears, so she didn't doubt he'd need a moment before he noticed the diamond stud in her nose. But she couldn't wait for him to see it. She couldn't wait to see his green eyes light up.
"Wait," Studying Alex and Nikita, Michael slowly caught onto what the two had done. He saw the new earrings in Alex's ears (the one he could see anyway) first. Then he saw Nikita's nose piercing. He had to turn her head to make sure that he had seen it right. When he did, she laughed at him. He was too stunned to react for a moment. Once he could, though, it was all praise, "That looks good. That looks really good."
While Nikita continued to laugh, Michael kissed her. She settled down with the affection. Yet when they separated, he kissed her nose, and she started to laugh again. Michael easily laughed with her. He always loved it when she was so blatantly happy. Nikita must've had a really great day with Alex (even if the young woman was then angrily napping in her lap). He wanted to hear all about it. After all, it was undoubtedly better than the hellish paperwork he had to deal with all day, "So that's all you guys have been doing? Playing piercer? Or am I in store for other surprises?"
"We also made a bet to see if I could fit in your mission bag," Nikita admitted before she truly thought about it. She hadn't intended to tell Michael about her talk with Alex. She was going to say that they had talked for a while about Sean, yet she wasn't going to go into details. That was for Alex to share, not Nikita.
"And? How'd that go?" Intrigued, Michael sat on the coffee table in front of the couch. He doubted Nikita could fit in his bag. However, he was interested to hear how she approached that problem. She probably found a loophole or something to ensure she won the bet. Or maybe she actually admitted she was wrong. She'd truly be growing as a person if that had happened.
Nikita opened then closed her mouth. Her gaze fell to Alex in her lap, who had grown accustomed to the noises around her and had dozed off back to sleep. Nikita could tell Michael that she had found his letter for her. They could talk about its contents and how that made them feel. Yet she soon decided against it. She never needed to know the words Michael had written on that page, not while she had him in her life to tell her, "Alex was right. I couldn't fit."
"That's probably a good thing," Michael chuckled. He couldn't imagine the kind of shit Nikita would pull if she knew she could fit in his mission bag. It was an absolutely amazing thing that she couldn't. He had dodged a bullet there.
Lightly playing with Alex's hair, Nikita kept her gaze on her best friend. It was a good thing that Nikita still had Michael in her life. She had almost lost him numerous times, and she had almost stupidly thrown him away. Yet she and Michael always managed to find their way back to each other. They didn't have to go through any more heartbreak. They'd always be in one another's life. It was unfair that others couldn't have that luxury; they couldn't be so lucky. Michael and Nikita were extremely lucky.
Connecting her eyes with her fiancé's, Nikita swore to never take that for granted. She was going to cherish every moment of her new life with her love. When it came to their relationship, she wasn't going to be stupid, "Yeah. We're lucky."
