My night was not particularly restful.

I had nightmares again, which had been occurring more frequently for a few months.

So at three o'clock tonight I decided not to try to sleep again and just stayed awake.

So I was sitting at the breakfast table on Sunday morning, rather tired and was startled when Neville sat down across from me and spoke to me far too loudly for that time of day.

"Where were you yesterday? I was worried!"

"I wasn't hungry last night", I lied and returned to my breakfast.

There was really no need to lie. I could have just told him I ate in my room but that would have meant I didn't like eating with him which I did, so I lied to him.

He exhaled in relief.

"Malfoy was pretty upset yesterday afternoon, ranting about some mudblood all the time and I thought maybe you'd run into each other and..."

He didn't finish his sentence and just left it hanging there in the air.

"No, I didn't run into Malfoy yesterday. I'm sure there are plenty of other people he hates," I lied again, but this time I had a really good reason.

Neville shouldn't worry, I could defend myself just fine on my own.

Another relieved exhale on his part but he didn't say anything back and turned his attention to his breakfast.


"What are you doing today?" he broke our silence after a while.

"I was going to go to the library to study."

"You really do study way too much.

You're not doing badly at school, why don't you enjoy the surroundings here for a while? It's really nice," he replied almost reproachfully.

I frowned at him.

"I don't want to stop you from doing anything but I thought you might like to spend the day with me.

I could show you Hogwarts or Hogsmeade. Professor McGonnagal has allowed everyone over 17 to go there outside of the regular trips," he blushed.

"That sounds really great Neville but I'm not of age, unfortunately,"

I stirred my cornflakes sheepishly.

"Oh, I'd forgotten about that. But it's pretty nice on the grounds too, I bet you haven't been down to Black Lake yet."

I weighed what to say now but really my answer was already sealed.

It would be another lie but a white lie and they weren't really lies at all.

"No, it's true, I haven't been down to the lake yet."

I smiled at him and his face got even redder.

"So yes?"

I nodded.

"I'll just get a jacket and then we can go" he said hurriedly.

"Don't rush, I have to get a jacket too. At the front gate in half an hour?", I asked.

I got a hurried nod in reply.


About 45 minutes later I was standing in front of the big entrance gate in my rain coat and rubber boots.

The rain yesterday had softened the ground so much that rubber boots were the smartest solution.

I hoped fervently that Malfoy would not come by now.

But the only one coming towards me was Neville with a big grin on his face.

"First to the lake or first to the quidditch pitch?" he asked, still beaming with delight.

He really did have the friendliest smile I had ever seen. It was simply sincere and sparkled with warmth.

And that smile was for me, there was no one else here, it was really only for me.

"Lake," I answered his question and tried to give him the same warm and friendly smile.


The rain clouds from yesterday had disappeared. Today there were only a few white clouds in the sky which were reflected in the smooth water of the lake.

The wind had also died down and it really was a beautiful autumn day.

Neville seemed to think so too and sighed as we headed for a small bench by the lake.


"When everything gets too much for me, I come here and just look out on the lake for hours and enjoy the peace and quiet.

It's my absolute favourite place, found it when I got lost.

You're the first one I'm showing it to."

He spoke quietly, not taking his eyes off the surface of the water.

"Why?"

"It's quite idyllic here but most people don't walk that far around the lake, that's why no one has found me here yet" he answered a question I hadn't asked.

"No, why did you show it to me?"

Now he broke his gaze from the surface of the water and looked directly at me.

"I like you Daisy.

You're a good listener and you don't ask questions.

A lot of my friends talk a lot about the last year, about the war. They process it differently than I do, faster.

Some days it's hard for me to go to the Great Hall for dinner because I see the dead and the wounded but I don't want to be the weak one again, crying all the time and not being able to cope with being here when others aren't anymore.

You weren't here, you didn't see all this. Your smile isn't put on to hide how broken you actually are."

He paused for a moment.

If only he knew how broken I really was.

"Even now, you must have so many questions floating around in your head but you're too polite to ask even one of them."

I really had a lot of questions but he was right, I wouldn't ask one of them.

I put my hand carefully on his thigh and slowly stroked it with one thumb.

I was afraid to say something wrong.

What did one say in such a situation?

"Thank you," he whispered and put his hand on mine.


We were silent for a few minutes, just looking at the surface of the water reflecting the blue sky.

"You were right, it really is beautiful here, it would have been a pity if I had only stayed in the library today," I interrupted our silence at some point.

"I'm really glad you're here Daisy."

Again Neville looked me straight in the eye.

"I didn't realise it but I needed someone like you."

And I felt the same way.

I barely knew this boy, but in the time I'd known him I'd thought of my Grandma significantly less during the day, simply because he distracted me.

And like he said, I didn't realise it before, but I needed someone like him too.

He rose from the bench and I did the same.

Carefully he took a step towards me and bridged the distance between us.

His arms wrapped around my back and gently pressed me against his chest.

My arms also wrapped around his body and gently stroked his back.

I took one deep breath. He smelled good, like potting soil, his shampoo and chocolate.

A strange mixture but extremely soothing.

He rested his chin on my head and whispered softly, "Hold me and don't let go."

I wouldn't, at least until he pushed me off him if he knew what I was.

Softly I whispered against his chest l, "As long as you stay with me."

I noticed him nod and smile.


Slowly he released our embrace and when I looked at him he suddenly turned gryffindor red.

Silently we walked back the way we had come. It was visibly awkward for both of us but I for one had no regrets.

"Quiddichpitch?" Neville asked into the silence and I nodded silently.


The field was not empty, there were a few students flying around on their brooms.

One suddenly came tumbling towards us and I squinted my eyes anxiously.

"You always have to make a spectacular entrance.

You can't just fly down to us like a normal person," Neville laughed and I cautiously opened my eyes.

In front of us stood a tall boy with wild black hair and round glasses behind which two green eyes looked at us.

He ran his hand through his hair once, which did absolutely nothing to tame it.

Then he smiled and hugged Neville.

I just stood by and eyed him.

I hadn't noticed him for the last two weeks but Neville's next question explained why.

"How were the trials Harry? Glad to be back?", Neville asked the dark-haired boy.

The latter just nodded, leaving the first question unanswered.

"I see we don't only have new first years."

He smiled at me.

The wind blew his hair a little to the side, revealing a lightning-shaped scar on his forehead.

"Daisy", I introduced myself and held out my hand to him.

I knew his name but he didn't need to know that.

I was always quite happy when people didn't know me and I figured he would feel the same way.

"I'm doing a year abroad here," I added, explaining.

"Harry," he said, shaking my hand.

"Welcome to Hogwarts."

He turned away from me and threw Neville a wry grin.

"Didn't you had a crush on Hann..."

He didn't get any further than that because Neville punched him in the side causing him to drop his broom.

"Ow, you've gotten really strong. Still no need to punch me," Harry laughed.

Neville didn't look quite so amused.

"Harry, are you coming back or are you not playing anymore?" someone called over from the quidditchpitch.

"Coming!" the person addressed shouted back, swinging on his broom.

"I'll see you tonight Neville and feel free to bring her along so she can meet your friends straight away," he laughed and pushed himself off the ground.


I looked after him and was once again impressed how someone could look so elegant flying a broom.

"He seems nice," I said looking over at Neville.

"He really is.

The last two weeks he's had to testify at a lot of trials, so I guess he's venting right now.

Otherwise he doesn't fly so extremely risky."

He shrugged.

"Sometimes it scares me how well he copes with it all", Neville admitted honestly and I became aware that he knew that I knew who Harry was.

"I'm going to be listening to this all night."

"What?", I asked confused.

"That you didn't call him on his scar.

He always totally freaks out when he meets people who don't care about his name.

If he didn't have Ginny then he definitely would have asked you out sooner or later."

I still looked confused.

"Why would he? We haven't exchanged three words, he doesn't know me."

"You haven't reduced him to his name and you're cute, that's already more reasons than some people have when they ask a girl out."

I didn't know what to say to that.

A week ago his mate had already called me cute and now Neville too, I was just confused.

"You can take the compliment already, I meant it" he said instead, blushing again.

"Uh, thank you?" I answered him rather uncertainly.

"About tonight, Harry's invitation was serious but I wouldn't advise you to come.

They're all quite nice, that's not the problem just, ... Well..."

He scratched the back of his neck sheepishly.

"You see how my friends react when they see me with a girl, I'd just like to spare you that."

"You can tell your friends I need to study", I presented him with an honest excuse.

"Thank you for understanding that.

I'll be sure to introduce you to them but they're really exhausting right now," he apologised.

I just nodded silently.

"I need to go to the greenhouses again," came from Neville when we were almost back to the castle.

"See you at dinner?"

I just nodded again silently.

He smiled at me once more and then walked quickly towards the greenhouses.


In the evening I read a book in bed but couldn't really concentrate.

The day had been strange.

From the hug at the lake to the conversation after we met Harry.

So I stared at the ceiling, wishing I could talk to my grandma about everything, as I often had done.

She had always understood me and had the best advice.

What would she advise me to do now?

Should I be more honest with Neville and tell him who and what I was?

I couldn't let go of this question but at some point I fell asleep without a dream.

When I woke up in the morning, my answer was clear.