I got maybe two hours of sleep that night, and not even a restful one.

Accordingly, I sat at the breakfast table on Tuesday morning completely exhausted.

Neville said something and I always just nodded or hummed in agreement, but I didn't listen to what he said.

He was probably rambling on about Hannah or something about the exams in the next few weeks.

My thoughts, on the other hand, were still on the letter from my grandpa and the consequences for me.


"Are you even listening to me?", Neville pulled me out of my thoughts and shook my arm.

Again I just nodded,

"Doesn't look like it. What did I say?"

I had no idea, my only option was to guess.

"That Hannah looks great again today," I tried as convincingly as I could.

Probably wasn't the right answer because he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, but no I didn't say that.

What's going on with you this morning, you're totally absent."

"Didn't sleep well," I said monotonously, which wasn't even a lie.

Neville looked at me askance.

"You sure that's all it is?

You've been pretty quiet since that letter yesterday."

"Yeah, I really just haven't been sleeping well," I lied.

Neville didn't seem to believe me but didn't ask any further anyway.

I was quite grateful to him for that, because I really didn't want to argue this morning.

"I actually asked you if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade with me and Hannah this weekend?"

"On your date?

And be the eighth player at quiddich?

No thanks, I'd rather stay here and read for a bit. I'd only be disturbing you anyway."

"You're not disturbing anything.

It's just that we've always gone together the last few times and I was afraid you'd be angry if I went with just Hannah," he admitted meekly.

"I'll be mad if you make me go.

You two have a nice afternoon and you just tell me about it later.

Then I'll feel like I was there."

"You really are the best Daisy." He grinned broadly at me.

"I know", I replied, forcing myself to smile slightly.

Just not too much, I didn't want to be ugly.

Neville must have understood that I just wanted to be left alone this morning, because he silently turned back to his breakfast and my gaze wandered around the Great Hall.

It stopped at the Sytherin table, at Astoria to be precise.

Her hair, which she had left loose last night, was tied in a ponytail this morning.

She looked great with it too.

She was sitting between Malfoy and another boy.

Last night hadn't been clear enough for her, because she was already flirting with Malfoy again.

At least that's how it looked from a distance. And she was twisting a strand of hair from her plait around her finger.

I watched the spectacle for a moment but kept looking elsewhere so that Neville wouldn't notice that I was staring.

Where Malfoy had been so dismissive of Astoria yesterday, they seemed so familiar today.

At one point she half sat on his lap and his hand slid down from the table to what I hoped were just her thighs.

Last night in the corridor was already weird, but here in the big hall at breakfast it would be something completely different.

She grinned and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

This time I could look away and I did.

I didn't want to watch the whole thing again, yesterday had been enough for me.

I couldn't make sense of what it was between them.

One moment he pushed her away when she kissed him and the next he let her sit on his lap and kiss him in public.

I had no idea about relationships, only what I had read but this was certainly not normal.

I tried to banish the images from the hallway last night but somehow they kept coming back to it.

They kept doing that all week, especially when I saw the two of them in the corridors I had the images of the night right back in my mind.

Every time I saw them, they looked familiar and sometimes I doubted whether I had really seen them that night or whether it was just my imagination.

But then there was the question of why I would imagine Malfoy making out with his girlfriend on the floor in the hallway, or not making out.

I left it at that I didn't understand and just tried to concentrate on my lessons and my upcoming exams.


The more the week went on, the more excited Neville got.

I even had to help him on Thursday to pick out the outfit he would wear on Saturday.

That turned out to be harder than I thought because Neville didn't think he looked cool enough in anything.

At some point I gave up and told him to just wear a plain jumper and matching trousers.

The date had been THE topic of the week anyway and I could count on one hand the times he hadn't talked about it.

I was happy for every class we didn't have together.

I was happy for him, I really was but the closer the date got the more I realised how jealous I was.

Not because I wanted to go on a date with Neville but because I wished to have someone who was so happy to spend time with me.

And yes, maybe I was a little afraid that she would take my best friend away from me.

The only time I wished I could listen to Neville talk about his date was on friday in Potions class.

Anything would have been better than sitting next to Malfoy and then also listening to Professor Slughorn talk about our exam topic, Love Potions.

As if it wasn't hard enough for me to get the image of Malfoy and Astoria making out in the hallway out of my head.

I sighed and continued to copy what the professor wrote on the board.

«There are different kinds of love potions.

Some weak ones only make the drinker feel a slight infatuation for the other person. These potions often only work for a few minutes to two hours and are often used in joke articles», I copied from the blackboard.

I wouldn't find such a thing funny but it seemed to sell.

«Others, however, can have an almost timeless effect if taken regularly.

Instead of a feeling of being in love, the drinker feels a deep connection to the other person and believes that it is true love.

However, such a potion cannot replace true love, but only feign it, which can lead to fatal consequences.

Tom Riddle was a child of such a bond and was therefore never able to feel love.»

"And it is around this latter potion that their practical test will be.

Amortentia, the strongest of all love potions, its scent alone has an aphrodisiac effect", Professor Slughorn explained as I transcribed the last sentence into my notes.

The potion sounded difficult and dangerous and slowly the fear of failing the practical exam without Malfoy's help crept up inside me.

I would simply persuade Min to let me brew this potion once during the Christmas break, then I would be well enough prepared.

"On the subject of the practical exam, you will again do this as partner work.

Both will get the same grade.

I will think about the allocation over the holidays. The partner I assign to you for the exam will then remain your partner for the rest of the school year.

There will be no swapping and I will not discuss it again."

A murmur went through the class.

That wasn't so bad, if I was lucky I got another partner who was good at Potions.

And even if not, anything was better than another six months with Draco Malfoy.

He too seemed to like the idea of finally being rid of me, for he murmured a quiet "Finally", only it wasn't as quiet as he thought, for I heard him.

If she hadn't only been in sixth year, he would certainly have wanted Astoria as his partner, especially when it came to making love potions.


Neville didn't need a love potion because even without one he was head over heels in love with Hannah Abbott.

He spent the whole evening thinking out loud about what he would do with her tomorrow in Hogsmeade.

Whether she would like the "Three Broomsticks" better than "The Hog's Head", what drink she would have and what he should drink.

But worst of all, he didn't know what they were going to talk about.

"What if we don't have anything in common at all and keep quiet all the time?

What if I say something embarrassing or something that makes her uncomfortable?

What if she finds me totally uninteresting?" he blurted out.

I held his hands tightly with which he had been gesticulating the whole time.

"She'll like you.

I'm sure you'll have lots to talk about together and before you know it it'll be over.

It'll be great, I promise, and you'll tell me about it at dinner."

"I promise," he replied, freeing his hands.


"You need to eat some breakfast Nev", I admonished him Saturday morning after he had stared at his toast for minutes.

"I feel sick, I can't eat anything. I think I'm going to be sick. I have to cancel Hannah."

"You're not doing anything! You're just excited that's normal."

I looked at him sternly. "But still you have to eat at least a little something, if not the toast then at least an apple or a banana."

"But...", he tried to contradict.

"Nothing But, eat!" holding an apple up to his face.

Reluctantly he bit into it, staring at me petulantly.

"You'll thank me," I added and returned to my curd.

I said goodbye to Neville and fixed his hair once more, then pushed him towards the large entrance gate where he had arranged to meet Hannah.

As I peered around the corner I could see that the two of them were greeting each other sheepishly, neither seeming to know how to do so appropriately in their situation.

It looked quite funny, but in the end they pulled themselves together, hugged each other briefly and then walked towards the small village.

I looked after them and wondered how much would change when they came back.


The snow crunched under my shoes as I walked along the path by the black lake to Neville's secret bench.

We had been here together a few times in the last few months, but I had never taken the walk alone.

My hands were warm in my pockets and I had buried most of my face in my scarf.

It had stopped snowing and the wind had also died down.

Except for the icy air, it was a dreamy December day.

A light layer of ice had already formed on the lake and I decided that if I had to stay here over Christmas and the lake was still frozen, I would go ice skating there.

My uncle had taught me when I was a child, and in recent years I had done it less and less often, but it had always been great fun.

Maybe I should get myself some skates for Christmas, because the old ones were definitely too small for me.

I would go to owlery later, answer Grandpa's letter and tell him my wish.

But for now, I would sit on this bench and look out over the frozen surface of the water.

I thought about Christmas, about Grandma and how much everything had changed since she was gone.

I hadn't cried for her in a long time, but now a tear rolled down my cheek.

I wiped it away with sleeve of my coat.

Grandma would have been disappointed.

I had been so sad the last week when I should have been happy for everything I had.

I now had a best friend who I had helped to get a date with the girl he fancied.

I had good grades and was about to take my exams at what was possibly the best school for witchcraft and wizardry.

She had always told me to be happy for every little moment, however inconspicuous it might be.

She was always referring to my parents, with whom she had too few of these moments, and me as well.

I looked up once more across the lake to the castle and made a decision.

I would stop feeling sorry for myself, after all I didn't want others to either.

I would support Neville no matter what the outcome of the date.

I would make my grandma proud!

"I'm going to make my grandma proud!", I shouted across the icy lake and it felt so good to shout.