When I woke up, I was alone in bed but I could hear the water from the shower in the bathroom rushing.
Malfoy was already awake and apparently he had also been able to sleep, because he hadn't woken me up.
I quickly got dressed before Malfoy came out of the bathroom again.
This time he was nice enough not to come out dressed only in a towel.
"Sleept well?", I asked as I was untying my braided pigtail to tie my hair back into a bun afterwards.
"I slept," he replied curtly, not really answering my question but I deduced that he had not slept well.
We both had breakfast separately again but when we met by chance in the library in the afternoon he offered me the armchair next to him.
We were silent and read, but I for one enjoyed not being alone.
In the evening in bed we asked each other questions again before falling asleep.
It was pleasant, Malfoy was more sociable and I would almost go so far as to say that I would miss our evening conversations when I was sleeping in my bed again.
It was the 31st of December, the last day of the year and I didn't really have anything else planned after dinner, like the last few days but to go to bed early.
I just wanted to sleep and forget that I would start the next year without Grandma. And into every year that followed.
It would be the last night at Malfoy's, after which I would finally be back in my bed.
I had just showered and was about to snuggle into bed when Malfoy came into the room.
"What are you doing?" he asked, looking at me.
"What does it look like? I was going to sleep", I replied, confused.
"It's New Year's Eve, you're definitely not going to sleep yet."
"What are you going to do about it? Force me to stay awake?"
He raised his eyebrows.
"That's the second option if the first doesn't work."
"And what's the first option?", I asked, crossing my arms in front of my chest.
"Asking you nicely to stay up with me some more."
Now I too raised my eyebrows.
"You're serious?"
"Yeah, if we're both going to be stuck here on New Year's Eve the least we can do is make the most of it."
"So what was your plan?", I asked him.
"Oh come on Harper, just go with it.
Be a little spontaneous.
You don't always have to know everything beforehand."
"So I'm just supposed to trust you like this when the alternative is to just go to sleep?"
He nodded.
I rolled my eyes.
The moment I had asked more specifically I had already realised that I was too curious to just go back to sleep but still I knew how stupid that decision was.
"Can I have a jumper from you? Otherwise it'll be too cold in just a T-shirt and shorts."
He nodded and reached into the cupboard. he threw me a Slytherin jumper and I pulled it over my head.
It was far too big for me and I could have worn it as a dress but it was nice and warm.
"Well let's go Harper."
I followed Malfoy through the dungeons, up the stairs to in front of a wall where he stopped.
"So if I get lost here that's okay but you've been going to schools here for eight years that's pretty embarrassing", I stated.
"I'm not lost."
The moment he said that, the wall changed and a door appeared.
I stared at it with wide eyes.
Malfoy grabbed me by the arm and pulled me behind him into the room.
I didn't know what I was expecting but it certainly wasn't this.
In front of me was a huge expanse of ice, the ceiling of the room looked like it didn't exist because I could see the starry sky.
Torches hung on the walls illuminating the room and unlike outside it wasn't cold here.
I looked at my feet and wished for my skates and sure enough, they appeared on my feet.
I couldn't help grinning.
"This is fantastic.
What is this room?", I asked Malfoy, looking over at him.
"The Room of Requirement, it can be anything you want it to be.
And I owe you one, so I thought you'd be happy about it."
He had really thought about it and even though he thought this sport was ridiculous.
"I do, thank you", I smiled at him and without thinking about it I pressed a kiss to his cheek.
I smiled again briefly and then imagined my sleeping clothes becoming my gym clothes.
I kept only Malfoy's jumper on, shortening it in length so that my arms fit.
I probably should have waited for Malfoy but I didn't think about it. I just walked off, leaving Malfoy standing there.
I ran patterns across the ice with no particular destination, I just glided across it like I was floating.
I didn't know how long I had been skating but at some point my eyes sought Malfoy and found him sitting on the edge reading.
I pulled up to him and braked hard.
"Are you coming too?", I asked, holding out a hand to him.
"Me? No I'd better sit here."
"Scared Malfoy?", I asked playfully, knowing he couldn't turn down a challenge.
"No, I just don't want you to feel bad.
You see, I'm a natural at sports. No matter which one."
"Yeah we will see about that. Come on, get up you natural."
He grabbed my hand and I pulled him to his feet.
I wished for skates for him and in a matter of seconds he was standing wobbly on the blades.
He still held me tightly and I skated backwards very slowly.
"Take your feet with you, don't let yourself be pulled like that", I ordered him and he obeyed.
And he was right, he was a natural. Quickly he picked up speed and I struggled to maintain the speed backwards.
"I'm letting go now."
And I let go.
For a moment I thought he would keep his balance but he lifted his foot too high, lost his balance and staggered forward.
He tried to hold onto me again but he had too much momentum and it knocked us both to the ground.
I landed hard on the ice and he landed on top of me.
It was just far too funny and I couldn't help laughing.
Malfoy looked at me confused at first but then laughed too.
It was the first time I had ever heard him laugh. Not a sardonic laugh when he was laughing at someone but an honest laugh, an infectious laugh and it suited him.
It softened his features and suited him much better than the serious expression he usually had.
"I really can't breathe that well", I said laughing and Malfoy quickly rolled off me and stayed on his back.
Now we were both lying on our backs looking up at the starry sky.
The hard sheet of ice under my back disappeared and I was lying on a mattress so soft it could only be Malfoy's.
"You're dragging me out of bed just so I can lie in it again?", I laughed and turned my head in his direction.
"Subconsciously, I can't help it.
You can change it if you want."
I shook my head and looked up at the sky again. It was a dreamy night, starry and if we were lucky we might even see a shooting star.
The clock I hadn't noticed before struck a quarter to twelve.
A quarter of an hour until midnight, a quarter of an hour until the New Year began.
Usually at this time I would sit in the living room of my grandparents' house in front of the fireplace and Grandpa would tell stories.
About his travels around the world, or his actions in the war agains Grindelwald and how he had helped to bring him down.
Grandma read in time, she had heard the stories many times like I had but I couldn't get enough of them.
I loved listening to him, how happy he was when he told them.
And grandma always smiled when he was so happy, because then she was too.
Tears came to my eyes when I thought about Grandma, how different everything was since she was gone and how much I missed her smile.
A shooting star streaked across the sky.
Whoever sees a shooting star has one wish but the wish I had was impossible, so I wished for nothing.
"One minute to midnight."
Malfoy voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
I sat up straight and brushed the tears from my eyes with the back of my hand so Malfoy wouldn't see them.
30 seconds left
The new year would bring a lot of change. Wanted change and unwanted change.
20 seconds
I thought of Neville and Hannah, how happy they both were and how much I envied them for it.
Another 10 seconds
I would be honest with Nev. Tell him who and what I am, maybe not directly but when the time was right.
5, 4, 3,
I closed my eyes.
2, 1
Nothing.
Nothing happened.
I didn't expect anything to happen and I was right.
Everything was the same as before, nothing had changed.
I was still sitting on the bed in the Room of Requirement with Malfoy, I still missed my Grandma just as much and yet she wouldn't be coming back.
All over the world people were celebrating, only here time seemed to stand still, as if we were both not ready to leave the last year behind.
No one said anything. We were silent and looked up at the starry sky.
I was glad not to be alone at that moment, even if it was Malfoy who protected me from being alone.
We both seemed to have lost ourselves in our thoughts and time only started to run again when the clock struck quarter past twelve.
As if the new year had started a quarter of an hour later.
I broke free from my stupor and was able to think another thought.
"Happy New Year Malfoy", I said quietly.
"Happy New Year to you too Harper", he replied just as quietly, looking at me.
I had looked into his eyes many times before but this was the first time I noticed how unusually grey his eyes were.
I had never seen this colour in eyes before. It was a light grey, almost shimmering silver, like the inside of an Occamy egg.
"Shall we go to bed?", I asked, shaking off the thought about his eyes.
He nodded silently and we walked back in silence.
We didn't speak a word even as we lay in bed.
The last few days we had always talked before going to bed but today Malfoy turned out the light and turned onto his side.
I did the same, only sleep was out of the question, far too many thoughts buzzing around in my head.
When I heard Malfoy breathing deeply and calmly, I waited a few more minutes for him to really sleep and then slipped out of the room.
I sat down on one of the sofas in the common room and pulled my legs close to my body.
I had forgotten how cold it was here and my blanket was still in the room with Malfoy.
I didn't want to wake him so I had no choice but to sit here without a blanket.
I would have found a blanket in one of the other rooms but I didn't want to.
If I wanted a blanket, it should be mine and not someone else's.
At some point I got too cold and wandered around the room a bit.
I had never looked around much in this room and it was only now that I noticed how big it was.
In one of the corners I hadn't noticed before was a grand piano. A really beautiful, shiny black grand piano.
Grandma had taught me and we often played together, but the last year until her death she had been very weak and had spent a lot of time in bed.
Tears welled up inside me again as I gently stroked the instrument with my fingers.
Grandma would have loved it and forced me to play with her, but there was no one left to force me, so I just stared at the piano.
Tears were running down my cheeks and I didn't hear the door open behind me and Malfoy stepped behind me.
I only noticed him when he put his hand on my shoulder.
I turned to him and realised too late that I was still crying.
He looked from me to the wing and then back to me.
He took another step closer.
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close.
I didn't know what was happening to me and I was completely surprised but I didn't resist.
On the contrary, I breathed in deeply, took in his smell, which had become so familiar to me in the last few days and without being able to do anything about it, the tears began to flow again.
I began to shiver, which Malfoy noticed and gently stroked my back with his hand.
"You're freezing Harper, you should go back to bed", he stated.
I nodded and before I could think for a second, Malfoy had lifted me up and was carrying me back to bed.
I clawed at him.
I hated not having solid ground under my feet but I didn't want him to put me down either.
He put me back in bed and pulled the covers up to my chin.
"If you're going to get up take a blanket with you", he said softly as he snuggled under his covers.
His head was turned in my direction and we both looked at each other.
He could only guess where I was because he hadn't turned on the light but I could make out every contour of his face.
He looked tired and I felt guilty.
"I'm sorry I woke you up", I whispered.
"It's okay, I've kept you awake enough times too."
He really had but it wasn't an excuse.
"I'm cold", I said quietly and I didn't know why I was saying it out loud because I really just wanted to think it.
Malfoy lifted his blanket and I realised what that meant. I hesitate for a moment but before he changes his mind I slide closer to him.
His arms wrapped around me like they had when we hugged a few minutes ago and again all I could smell was him.
"Try to sleep Harper" he murmured in my hair.
It wasn't long before his breathing again revealed that he had fallen asleep and I too fell asleep a short time later.
I dreamt of dragons and snakes, of pianos and mistletoe and I was more than confused when I woke up the next morning.
The first thing I saw was a white shirt moving up and down regularly.
I heard quiet breathing and I smelled Malfoy.
I fell asleep in his arm last night, I remembered.
Wait, I fell asleep in his arm! How did that happen?
I remembered everything about the night, including the moment when he had lifted the blanket and I had crawled under it.
How stupid could I actually be?
I had already realised tonight that it was a mistake, but I had done it anyway.
The question was why had he done it?
And what would he do when he woke up?
I fervently hoped that he would wake up quickly and free us from this strange situation.
It must have taken another ten minutes, which felt like hours, before he started to move.
"Fuck", was the first thing I heard from him.
"Good morning to you too", I replied with a slightly mocking undertone.
I could understand his reaction, I would have reacted similarly.
He pulled the covers to his side and jumped out of bed, running to the bathroom.
I was quite caught off guard.
Yes, it was quite strange, but to jump up as if he had touched something poisonous was a bit over the top.
Malfoy stayed in the bathroom for a long time and I really had to go to the toilet.
"Are you all right in there? I really need to go in", I called through the door, hoping he heard me.
"Just go Harper!", it echoed back.
"That could have been said more kindly", I called back and trotted back to the bed.
It was so strange with him, one moment he was hugging you and the next he was kicking you out.
I packed my things and sprinted upstairs without saying goodbye, because I still had to go to the toilet.
Min was probably already in the office as usual, because the apartment was empty.
So after I had freshened up and put my things in my room, I went to her office to wish her a Happy New Year.
I did the same to Hagrid and on the way to him I got a roll from the kitchen.
It was no longer snowing but it was bitterly cold.
I pulled my jacket tighter around my body and buried my face in my scarf.
Hagrid was already outside feeding the animals when I arrived.
"Since when do you have a unicorn here?", I asked in surprise when I saw Hagrid standing by the animal.
"Oh Daisy, I didn't hear you come at all.
I found it in the forest a few days ago, his leg is broken", it came happily from the half-giant.
"Can I help you?"
I looked at him questioningly.
He just nodded and pressed the bucket with the food into my hand.
It wasn't until noon that I went back to the castle, completely frozen.
The visit to Hagrid had distracted me, so I didn't have to think about the strange situation this morning all the time but now that there was nothing else but me and my thoughts, so I started thinking about it again.
Maybe I should apologise, I thought, for getting so close to him.
But he had offered it himself, I hadn't forced him, I hadn't even asked him.
If anyone needed to apologise, it was him for being so rude this morning.
I would just get out of his way, I could do that again after all, now that I would spend the nights in my own bed again.
It was a bit of a shame, I had always enjoyed the conversations with Malfoy in the evenings before going to bed, he on the other hand was probably glad that I was finally gone.
Although it had been his idea that I slept with him in the first place.
I wasn't in the mood to go to the library, the probability of finding Malfoy there was too high.
So I went to my room and read one of the books I had borrowed.
Time passed and the next time I looked out of the window it was pitch black.
There was a knock on my door and Min came in.
"Are you all right?" she asked kindly.
I nodded.
"Fancy a walk?"
I nodded again.
When Min and I went for a walk it was always in our Animagi forms.
So we strode through the corridors of Hogwarts as two cats and I only realised now how long it had been since I had changed. Too much had happened, I hadn't had any time at all.
Normally I felt a tingling in my fingers when I didn't transform regularly but because of the stress my body probably knew that it wasn't possible for me and that it had to be patient.
The corridors were cold but my fur warmed me and I was grateful for it.
If I had been cold now, I would have thought of last night again and that would not really have lifted my spirits.
We couldn't talk to each other like this but I didn't mind, at least I wasn't alone.
I only felt alone when I was lying on my bed again.
It was all like I had left it a week ago but it felt so different.
The only breath I heard was my own and it smelled like old books and peach instead of Malfoy.
My bed wasn't as soft as his, but it was warmer here.
It is really strange how quickly you get used to some things.
