WARNING: Graphic depictions of violence and gore


Kai Hiwatari - Guns and Roses

The tips of his fingers felt numb as he reached behind him to pull the shirt over his head. The book bag was leaned against the doorjamb. The street before the house was empty. Sunlight slanted across the porch, like a spotlight on his frame as he gathered the human pieces on the floor and put them back in the box. Blood trailed from some and he scrubbed at the spots with the white tee, absently calculating how long it might have been since the parts were severed from their owner in his head, his brain making an automatic attempt to remain rational in any given situation.

Not too fresh, not too brown. 6-8 hours approx.

The blood couldn't be rubbed clean from the porch completely without the help of a strong chemical. Kai closed the box, picked it up and rose to his feet, rounding the house to the backyard.

He fetched a shovel and began digging in the spot Ian had cleared a few days ago for a flowerbed.

One, two, three, four feet in about ten minutes. He lowered the box and the soiled shirt into the hole and covered it with dirt.

Gave the spot a few pats with the shovel and sprinkled some mud on it with his fingers to make things look normal, then went back inside the house, grabbed a sponge, dipped it in soap and walked to the porch to scrub the rest of the blood away. He trashed the sponge after, rubbed the dirt and dried blood out of his fingers in the kitchen sink, went to his room to find a new shirt, pulled it on, picked up his bag from the front door and closed it after him as he walked out of the house.

It was seven thirty.


Ozuma had gotten caught. How? How had they figured out they had a mole inside the organization and who it was so quickly? They'd kept the fact he'd been identified from Ozuma and made him give false information to Kai for almost two months.

How much did the Yakuza know about Kai?

They'd sent a man straight to his house, and found him, showing that they could reach anywhere. Had eyes and ears everywhere while Kai knew next to nothing about them.

Like he was fighting an omniscient, omnipresent phantom.

Power, connections, an endless supply of men. They had it all.

Kai's only choice was to defend himself, his people and everything he built from them.

Hitting first was not an option since he had no idea where or when to hit. He had to raise his guard, wait for their attack and withstand it somehow.

The private arenas were being targeted because they were a year-round source of income since they could be rented by other parties for other events during off season.

There were thirteen arenas owned by Kai and the other Blitzkriegs in total and he needed to increase their security by five fold by tonight. Where was he going to find that many people in such a short amount of time?

This was given that the Yakuza only struck at night. If they decided to move any sooner Kai would most likely lose more than just arenas.

He needed to get to work as soon as his exam ended. Three hours. He just had to get the exam over with and then he could focus all his energy on protecting his assets.

Heading to a final and he could barely remember which one it was. He was close to the examination hall, a dark cloud hanging over his head, thoughts in a scramble when someone bumped into him, a student, in a burst of rainbow, and flowers and all things simple and good in this world, he broke Kai out of his thoughts of doom and gloom and made him focus on his face.

The bright eyes of joy and giggles as he repeatedly said sorry, bending to the floor to pick up the things he'd dropped. Kai instantly remembered where he was, within the tall and humbling old walls of the university. He knelt too to help the boy. A pouch full of stationary, which had been open and whose contents had spilled. The pens had tiny beyblades all over them. The eraser and rulers with cute faces and fruits on its bodies.

Kai gathered the papers the boy had been carrying and handed them back to him.

"I'm so, so sorry, I should have looked where I was going," he said, bowing again, fluffy brown hair bouncing as he bent and straightened, a whiff of flowers hitting Kai as he returned it at the same time and their heads almost brushed.

"It's alright," said Kai. "It wasn't your fault. It was mine."

"Ty, hurry your ass, we're going to be late," someone called from behind Kai.

"Right" The boy's eyes went wide in fright. "Good luck," he wished and waved to Kai as he ran to catch up with his friends.

"You too" he replied. The faint floral fragrance lingered around Kai, like a happy cloud, for a few moments longer before it followed after the boy.

The brief encounter reminded him of how simple the life of a college student was. That he was one too and about to write an exam he had spent hours studying for with great passion and care. He focused back on the bright and busy world around him and went into the examination hall with his head screwed on straight.

For the next three hours he had to be nothing but a diligent college student and so that was what he was.


The chill of winter was receding, and the birds of spring were here, singing their songs and colouring the skies with red, blue and purple. Kai was sitting out on the patio, a textbook spread before him, a cup of steaming coffee in his hand when Tala joined him at the table.

"I may have found the men we need," he said, dropping into the chair beside him and drumming his fingers on the wood. Time was 3 p.m. "A contractor in touch with one of my contacts in Osaka just fired a bunch of his workers due to a complaint with one of their latest jobs. Which means these men are out on the streets looking for work. If we offer to pay them well they'd be more than willing to guard our properties."

"At the risk of losing their lives?" Kai turned a page.

"They were already involved in risky labour. I'm sure they're comfortable with it."

Kai glanced at Tala. "Good. Then that's one problem solved."

Clear blue eyes stared into his, then they looked away as Tala nodded. "It's settled then. I'll call them." His fingers went tap, tap, tap on the table. Leg jiggling under it.

Kai refocused on his textbook, took a breath and said, "Ozuma's dead."

"What?"

"They got him sometime last night."

"How'd you find out?"

"He called me right before. It sounded like he was running, and the line just went dead at the end. Couldn't reach him after that."

Tala winced. Let out a heartfelt fuck. "We lost our only informant."

"It's alright." Kai took a sip of his coffee. "We just need to be prepared for when they come. Tell Julia to give me her location. Hers is the only one I can't access."

He could feel Tala's eyes on him. Puzzled, curious, questioning. "We're waiting for them to come at us?"

"Yes"

"No deals? No compromises?"

"We didn't work this hard to just give it all away to someone else." He swiped his tongue across the inside of his cheek thoughtfully. "I wish them all the best," he said, then reached to turn another page of his book.


Okamoto was a portly man. He was cheerful and friendly and he talked Kai's ears off as they went on a little tour around the burnt building in Sapporo.

"I need this rebuilt," said Kai. "As quickly as possible." It was 10 p.m. Tala was in Osaka. Bryan in Tokyo. Sergei in Kyoto. Ian at home with Julia.

"For sure, I can have that arranged for you. My boys will work on it day and night, and have it back up and running in no time. I assure you." Okamoto had a deep but nasally voice, and he had a habit of adjusting the belt around his waist often. Kai would ask a question and his first response was to fix his belt before proceeding to answer.

"There were traces of gasoline found in the basement, so someone definitely snuck in. I'm going to need you to be on guard at all times. We can't let that happen again."

"It will not happen again. I promise you. I will look after the building like it's my own child."

Kai looked at Okamoto. "Do you have children?" he asked.

The man appeared delighted to answer. "A girl of eight and a boy of nine," he said proudly. "And a pretty wife."

Kai smiled at him. "You lead a blessed life."

"Yes" Okamoto touched his heart. "Yes, I'm quite blessed."

"I have to get going," said Kai, checking his watch. He laid a hand on Okamoto's shoulder before leaving to say, "Please take good care of the building."

"I will" Okamoto clasped his hand in return. "You can rest easy, Mr Hiwatari."

"Call me Kai."

"Your property is in good hands, Kai. You have nothing to worry about."


Kai did well in the rest of his exams despite not having any more angelic freshmen bumping into him in the hallway after the first day.

A week passed, finals ended, and there was no further move from the Yakuza during that time.

But Kai saw the radio silence from their side to be the calm before the storm and kept his guard up.

On Sunday, he visited Okamoto in Sapporo again.

The reconstruction was going on impressively, almost half the job was already done.

Kai caught up with Okamoto, made sure there were no news of attempted break-ins and went back to his car to fetch a wad of cash from the glove compartment. He was in the driver seat of his Spyder, parked about a good thirty feet away from the building, rummaging through the contents in the glove box when it happened.

A loud boom and a crash, and the sound of raining debris afterwards. Kai's breath got knocked out of him as the car bore the impact from the shockwaves of the explosion.

He'd ducked out of instinct. When a few seconds had passed, he lifted his head and looked out the windshield. Sounds were suddenly muffled. The world around him pulling away for a moment. The newly reconstructed building was on fire. Burning right in front of his eyes. Kai's fingers closed over the blade in the glove box instead of the cash and he stepped out carefully, scanning the area wildly for the perpetrator.

He could hear screams of men from inside the building. The workers were being burned alive. He called the police, approaching the building warily. He spotted Okamoto lying a few feet away from the fire.

Kai ran to him when he saw his frame moving painfully on the ground.

When he reached the man and knelt beside him, however, he found that pieces of him were missing. He was wailing, a horrible sound. His eyes had melted, pouring out of the sockets in thick rivulets of red and white.

"Wh- who?" he stammered, reaching for the man's hand. He was already out of the fire, but his leg was missing, face half burned. Kai stripped off his own shirt to tie it around the man's bleeding thigh.

Blood spilled all over his hands. "You're alright," said Kai, shuffling over to hold the man's hand and speak into his ear. "I've got you. I've got you."

"No" Okamoto gasped. "I s-ss-saw! I saw himm. He threw a grena-" he hiccupped. Kai struggled to hear him. He was able to make out "Grenade".

He looked up, towards the street before him. The closed shops and buildings. And he saw something move, in the dark, between those shops.

He moved then. Got on his feet, and chased after the hurrying shadows. In his rush, he knocked over carts and bins, but he found him. The black mask tied around his face. The tattooed fingers.

He ripped away the mask when he got ahold of the attacker.

A face he didn't know. A face he didn't recognise was underneath it. He had no reason to hesitate and so he didn't.

Kai slashed the blade across the man's throat so deep he met his spine. Yet it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough even as the man slipped out of his grip and slumped to the ground. Sirens began wailing in the distance. The police were coming. He had blood all over his body. A bloody, useless, knife in his hand. The man who threw the grenade at the building lying dead at his side. He couldn't go back to Okamoto.

Okamoto died on the site. Alone. His men trapped inside a building on fire.

The cops wrote off the explosion as another accident since the building already had a history of that. When the shopkeepers woke in the morning, they found the dead body lying out on the street and informed the police, through whom the yakuza learned another one of their men had been killed.


They wanted him gone. They wanted him to pay. They took Julia, whisked her away to one of their dens in retaliation. Tala hunted them down, freeing her before twenty-four hours were up and when he was done, there were more men dead.

The yakuza could not let their minions handle it anymore. On the last day of the boys' break, they were on their way back from a trip when they were ambushed with no way out.

Fifty men and women, all armed and lethal and with their large trucks blocking the Spyder's path. The boys had no option but to turn off the ignition and step out, hands in the air and not a weapon on them.

Assault rifles and leather jackets and trucks and motorbikes. Tattoos covering every inch of their skin. They surrounded them. Standing around them in a circle. The single lane road was lined by trees on either side and in the woods too, there were Yakuza soldiers lurking. Parked right in front of Kai's car, blocking them, was a huge truck parked horizontally across the narrow road. Smaller jeeps flanking it with their headlights blindingly bright.

The man of the hour was facing them. A few feet away. A hideous grin on his face. Baseball bat over his shoulder, one gold tooth glinting in his mouth. He was tall, in his forties, dressed in leather like the rest of them but the way he carried himself left no room to doubt who was in charge.

"Welcome!" he said, his voice gruff and dripping with glee. "Finally, we meet!"

The men forced each of the boys onto their knees. Guns pointed at their heads from behind.

"I already know all of your names. Let me introduce myself, then. I am Isaiah. You can call me Isa! I can tell that we're going to very, very good friends." He looked at Tala in the eye and smiled wider. "Look at those faces. I love it. Young and hot-blooded. It is getting me excited! We have a lot to do tonight, boys." He nodded to himself. "Hmm, where do we start? Oh I know! Pay back for all the men you killed."

Kai clenched his jaw. The headlights were in his eyes making it difficult to look at the man with the bat, swaggering back and forth in front of them.

His hands felt cold. His veins growing numb with fear. Blood rushed in his ears, heart pounding hard and quick in his chest.

"You know that it is rude to take things that are not your own," he was saying. "And those were my men that you killed. So many of my people." He scratched at his light scruff as he regarded them, face grim and serious. "That's not okay. I can't be okay with that. You have to pay up, boys. That is the only way it works around here. You take something of mine, I take something of yours. You took my men so I must take...one of you. Just one because there isn't a lot of you and I need you to work for me. You can start paying off your debts by sacrificing one of your own." He smiled. "So, who's it going to be?"

He swung the bat off his shoulder and leaned on it, watching the boys expectantly. "Hm? Would you like to choose, Kai?" he asked, his chilly eyes landing upon him.

"One of you needs to pay for all of your crimes. A champion! A hero! Taking one for the team! Who would like to volunteer? Volunteer yourself or I will make Kai choose," he said coldly, chuckling menacingly. "And no, none of you are walking out of here today without a scratch on you. You can quit thinking about those escape plans, Kai. There is no way out."

On his right was Bryan and on his left Yuriy. Ian and Sergei on Yuriy's left. He needed to think. He needed to think or he was going to lose one of them. Isaiah's voice kept needling into his thoughts, messing with his head. He was struggling to think straight.

"We can make a deal," said Kai, as a last ditch attempt to bargain.

"We already are, Kai. The deal is you are going to give me one of your men's lives in exchange for the twenty of mine you took. Plus labour because now we are lacking in manpower. Shouldn't have done that, am I right?" he asked. The soldiers around him chuckled and snickered in amusement.

Kai scanned their faces, the trucks, the bikes, the guns. The guns. If only he could get his hands on one of them and get Isaiah. Create a distraction of some sort so they could have a chance.

"We could have done business like gentlemen but you had to ruin it with all of your ego. Pride puts men in awful places, Kai. Look where you are. Look where you have got your favourite people. They're your everything, aren't they? I know they are. I have been watching you." He paused for a minute, sucking on his gold canine thoughtfully. "I am running out of patience. Shall I choose? What do you think, boys?" he turned to his members and they shouted in agreement.

"It's going to get rough. There will be tears. But there will also be a lot of blood. And Kai, I want you to look. I want you to see what you have done to your people and feel it. Regret it. I want you to remember this every time you close your eyes. You are never going to sleep again."

Kai's eyes were on the bat, his breath coming out shallow and shivery. Cold sweat ran down his spine.

"Do you hear me, Kai?" Isaiah raised his voice, stopping in front of him and pointing the bat at his face till Kai looked up to meet his eyes. "I want you to watch or I will take you out with your friend." His eyes were dark. Obsidian. Not an ounce of mercy in them. "Are you going to choose?" he asked one last time.

Kai looked into his eyes, felt rage bubbling in his chest. He clamped his mouth shut and looked away.

"Oh" said Isaiah. "I see how it is." It was the end of that sentence. The way he said it. The way his voice strained towards the last word as he raised his bat over Bryan's head, fully intending to bring it down over him.

Kai acted in that instant. The tiny second in which Isaiah was gathering his strength to swing the bat down. He shot off his knees and threw himself at him. Knocking the man onto his back on the ground with an elbow digging into his rib. He reached for the bat in Isaiah's hand, blood rushing in his ears.

The boys scattered, using the distraction to wrestle the guns out of the hands of the nearest Yakuza members.

A fight broke out. Guns began firing over Kai's head as he grappled on the ground with Isaiah.

Men were grunting. Women were shouting. Tala shot at Isaiah's hand in the midst of the chaos, crippling him against Kai. Kai used this opportunity to get out of direct fire, running towards the car.

He managed to dodge bullets out of sheer luck as he crawled along the side of the Porsche to pop its trunk open. In the trunk was their way out. Yuriy spotted him near the car and figured out what he was doing immediately. He yelled at the other boys to duck and back away from the woods where the Yakuza soldiers had gone to hide and shoot from.

Bryan was crouched behind a bike and was closest to Kai. He crept towards him while firing bullets and joined him behind the Porsche.

"You take right, I take left," said Kai.

"Aye"

"Sergei, move!" Yuriy shouted at Sergei who was trying to shoot down Isaiah as he slunk toward the woods. "Fuck" he cursed as a bullet grazed his thigh. "Fuckers. Fucking kill them!"

The RPGs fired over their heads with a silent whoosh. The ensuing explosion setting the trees aflame, screams penetrating the air as bodies were blown to bits and blood rained from the sky.

Kai's porsche peeled out of there, bullet holes on the side, an injured Tala in the back yet with all of the boys alive. It felt impossible, like nothing short of cheating death.


The start of the fifth semester brought one good news and two terrible news. The good news was that Wyatt had passed his entrance exams and he'd made it Toho, joining them on campus. Kai had been keeping in touch with Wyatt and checking up on him every month despite cutting ties with the rest of his family and when he showed up on the porch Kai had welcomed him straight into his arms.

He felt uncharacteristically proud of his little cousin.

But to put a heavy damper on the joy of Wyatt's arrival was the return of Boris. Fresh out of prison and a newly minted member of the university's faculty. How Voltaire had managed to weasel that man out of the hands of the law once again was beyond Kai. And he was beyond livid too. It was as if everything he did was for nothing. For a second he felt like a helpless kid again, back in his grandfather's claws and trapped forever.

He had to consciously remind himself that he wasn't under his grandfather's thumb anymore. That while Boris was free, so was he.

The third news, and the worst one, came in the form of a visitor. In his early fifties and mild-mannered yet sharp-eyed, dressed in casual, attention-diverting clothes, a man came to talk to Kai while he was at a bar one night, drinking alone and trying to tackle his demons. They talked for a good ten minutes, during which the man made it very clear that as long as he was breathing Kai would not be able to rest easy.

He swore to take everything Kai loved away from him. That a debt was to be paid and he would make sure Kai pays it in full for the family he'd ripped away from the man.

May be not today or tomorrow, but one day, without a doubt.


A couple weeks after the visit Kai had two more problems in his hands. One more serious than the other but neither serious enough to make him feel alive. A group of students from a neighboring university was purposely stirring up trouble with the Blitzkriegs and the other one was….

"Granger. I told you we should have bullied his ass a long time ago."

"Please, don't bully the juniors, Yuriy. Let them live," Kai said as he made his way to their usual corner of the cafeteria.

"He's going around saying you got a tiny peen," Tala said as they reached the table.

Bryan spat his juice out. "He what? Who said that?"

"Fuckass Granger." He dropped into a chair.

Kai paused, wondering what he did now. "He got a problem with me?" he asked Tala. "Did I sleep with his girl or something?"

"He's just a piece of shit. I told you he was a piece of shit. We should shut his ass down before he gets any braver."

Kai chewed on a slice of carrot. "Right." The boys were already coming up with creative ways to scare Granger and so Kai had to intervene. "I'll deal with him," he said. If he didn't they might bully the living lights out of Granger for trying to slander Kai. "I want you guys to look into Hiruta and his gang instead. See if they have connections to someone bigger."

Tala was satisfied with that and moved on quickly. "They call themselves the Four Horsemen. Do you know that?" he said with a chuckle. "How corny."

"And we call ourselves the Blitzkriegs," said Sergei. "We're no better."

While the boys were going back and forth over the name they "picked" for themselves Kai let his gaze wander around the cafeteria, briefly locking eyes with a couple of students as he did so.

It was strange to see the fear in some of their eyes. The way they steered clear of him. Especially the juniors. And Kai was sure the exaggerated stories of him had a lot to do with it. Sometimes his peers used his name to keep other students in line. Like he was the boogeyman.

But still there were students who had spines. Ones who did not give a fuck, who met his gaze squarely without immediately looking away.

There was nothing he could do about his reputation. It was mostly out of his hands already yet he couldn't let someone spread a rumour and not have a chat with them about it.

By the time four o'clock rolled around he was sleepy. He yawned as he leaned against his car and scrolled through his texts.

That was when he heard someone clear their throat. Tyson Granger. The Tyson Granger, who was spreading rumours about him for some reason, had a very striking appearance. A doll-like face. Innocent-looking. And some part of Kai had memorized his face a long time ago, from all the times he happened to see him around campus, yet had never given a thought to, never bothered to match a name to it. He'd noticed it. It was a face he knew. One he couldn't miss even though he'd never consciously paid attention.

A friendly-looking boy. He was sure he'd exchanged smiles with him in the hallway before so why was he mad at Kai all of a sudden?


One Week Later

Tyson was annoying in the sense that Kai kept noticing things about him. Particularly his face. He had a very peculiar face. He found it hard to look away once he happened upon it. And he could tell that Tyson noticed the staring and it made him uncomfortable.

He had curious habits and mannerisms and Kai kept fucking taking notes of it. Tyson was not a normal person. He seemed endlessly fascinating to Kai.

From the way he dressed to the way he talked to the way he blinked or licked his lips.

Fascinating.

He was fun to observe and yes, Tyson definitely noticed the staring. He deliberately moved out of his line of sight when he couldn't take it anymore sometimes.

Kai didn't actively seek out Tyson, he barely spared him a thought most of the day but once he happened to see him he couldn't tear his eyes away.

The first few days their interactions were strained and suffocatingly silent. Every time they were in a room together it felt like the room was going to explode from all of the tension inside of it.

As far as Tyson knew Kai was an asshole who broke his best friend's heart. What Tyson didn't know about Kai and Hilary, however, was that it wasn't as black and white as that.

It was supposed to be a friendly hookup. Kai had a habit of doing this thing where he talked to people outside of his usual circle for a change. He liked doing that. Talking to a stranger and getting a peak into their lives. It gave him a renewed perspective on his own life. Helped remind himself that he'd chosen this, and if he'd chosen different he could be living a much simpler reality where his only concerns would have been exams and parties.

That was how he and Hilary met. Kai had been in the middle of sorting out a hurricane of thoughts in his head when Hilary approached him in the courtyard with a bright hello.

Her presence was refreshing. She couldn't have arrived at a better time and he fully entertained her attempts at making conversation with him.

They went out for a cup of coffee. Hung out again a few days later. And at a party at Kai's house that following weekend they hooked up. It was Hilary's first and he remembered that night clearly. Her bashfulness at admitting her inexperience to him.

Him asking her if she was sure she wanted to do it with a stranger, then comforting her and promising to take care of her when she said that that was all she wanted.

"You're not a stranger. And I don't want it to be a big deal," she'd said. "I simply want my first time to be with someone I can trust to take care of me."

"I'll take care of you."

"Then I want it to be you."

It had been good. They'd had a good time, but Hilary ended up catching feelings immediately.

He asked for her number to make sure she took her morning-after pill and she bombarded him with hello and good morning texts for several days afterward. He had to do something. Those feelings were not good for him or for her either and so he said a few rude things to get rid of them.

He didn't expect it to piss off her best friend more than her. And Tyson was livid with him. He kept throwing Kai dirty looks, badmouthed him every chance he got and if Kai hadn't had that embarrassing video of Hilary that he was holding over Tyson's head he would have been trying to punch Kai every other minute.

Tyson couldn't do anything to Kai as long as he had that video with him and Kai knew it was driving him insane.

And then something happened. Kai needed someone to study with one evening as he was too sleepy to stay awake on his own and so he called over Tyson for help.

He made him ask questions and Kai tried to answer them. Ten minutes into this study session Tyson smiled at Kai for the very first time after they got to know each other. Kai had gotten the wrong answer, causing him to let out a heartfelt fuck. And it amused Tyson. The glare melting right out of his pretty eyes and replacing it with little stars of joy.

He had the notes held up his face to hide the smile but the crinkle around his cheeks and eyes gave it away anyway. Twenty questions in and Tyson was chuckling and freely cracking jokes with Kai.

The innocence wasn't skin deep. He was, through and through. Easily forgiving and not one to be in a closed space with someone and withhold smiles from them out of hate.

The interactions became less strained between them, as long as the topic of Hilary wasn't brought up. Kai forgave Tyson for punching him and he would have let him go then if he didn't enjoy his company so much.

That was before things started to get weird.


It was during one of the lectures. Tyson was sitting beside Kai and he'd dozed off in his seat. His head lolling to the other side. People fell asleep in class all the time. Hell, Kai even did it. There was no reason to look over at him. But look Kai did and that was the worst thing he ever did to himself.

Tyson was fast asleep, his head tilted back and to the side, but his shirt was two sizes too big for him and he'd left the top button undone. His neck was bare. His collarbone was bare. Skin smooth and honey-like.

Kai couldn't look away. He'd never seen skin like that. Skin that made him want to reach out and touch at the slightest of glances.

His body reacted almost violently. The urge to put his lips on his neck so strong he had to wrench his eyes away. He felt almost guilty and ashamed for looking at Tyson like that. As though he'd violated him with his gaze somehow.

His skin buzzed and tingled just from the proximity of Tyson and the image of that stretch of skin was burned into his retinas now. He wanted to shake Tyson awake. Cover him up.

Kai resisted for all of two minutes before he pulled Tyson straight in his chair. He woke then, startled by him.

"Why the fuck are you sleeping in class?" Kai spat venomously at him as if this was somehow all his fault.

"Sorry" Tyson blinked, tugged up his shirt and sat up straight.

Then Kai felt bad for snapping at him.

This incident and its aftereffects stayed with Kai for a couple of days. He tried to actively push the thoughts out of his head but it was hard to do so. The image of Tyson sleeping in that chair kept popping up out of nowhere throughout his day. Kai was irritated.

And he may have been easily angered because of it, making a nasty remark or two at Tyson unprovoked, ruining their fragile unspoken peace treaty with each other.

Tyson pouted for days afterward, sulky and pissy at Kai for suddenly being unfriendly to him again.

The other boys noticed all of this of course. They kept track of everything that was happening in Kai's life like the nosy little fucks they were. They kept track of his mood swings and sudden one-eighties and tied it with Tyson because there was nothing else to tie it to.

Bryan made a provocative comment one morning while they were in the kitchen having breakfast, just the two of them. Tyson had just left. Kai had made him make orange juice for him. Made him drink a glass too. His dumb ass could use some vitamins.

"Granger's got a cute face," said Bryan, evil glint in his eye, and a not-so-subtle smirk on his lips. "Don't you think?"

Kai raised a brow at him.

"Big-eyed like Bambi."

"Mm, you know he doesn't have a place between his legs for you to stick your dick into," said Kai.

"Of course, he does," said Bryan, grinning shamelessly.

"Oh, get out of here." Kai stuffed the last of his eggs into his mouth. He was so done.

"No, but seriously you didn't notice?"

"Notice what?"

"You always got your eye on him."

Great. It wasn't just Tyson who knew Kai had an obsession with his face.

"Yeah, making sure he's not doing anything funny." He got up from the table to put his plate in the sink.

"Naw, Granger's harmless," said Bryan. "He wouldn't hurt a fly."

"Say that to my nose."

"Your nose is fine. He barely grazed it."

Granger must have been casting spells because why was Bryan a fanboy all of a sudden? Except for Tala who had never liked Granger and still wanted to bully him, everyone else around Kai seemed absolutely charmed by Tyson.


The spells must have been working on Kai too because one fine Monday morning on his way to class he and Granger were sharing an elevator with ten other people and Kai didn't want some dude's toxic hair gel choking him in the cramped space so he turned around to face Tyson instead who was forced into one corner.

He didn't realize his mistake till he'd done it. He was close enough to touch noses with Granger.

The air around Tyson smelled like a garden. His shampoo or whatever that was was intoxicating. Addicting. It got Kai in a daze. Swept up in roses and berries and nirvana Kai almost forgot to school his expressions when Tyson looked up and met his eyes.

He was beautiful.

So illogically and nonsensically beautiful it baffled Kai.

What was a boy doing being this enchanting to look at?

What was all that beauty for, Tyson?

He wanted to ask that out loud but he didn't. Tyson opened his mouth, like he was going to say something, and then the elevator dinged and somebody stepped out and he exhaled, deciding against it.

Kai was smacked once more. Apples. His breath smelled like green apples. Tyson's gaze dropped away and he bit his lower lip, nervously drawing it between his teeth before letting go again. Making it a deeper shade of pink than it already was.

He had a sudden bizarre thought. A question really. He wondered if his mouth tasted as sweet as his breath smelled. What would he taste like if he leaned over and captured those lips? The thought made his cock stir, and when Tyson met his eyes again it was through sheer will power that he did not do what he wanted to do.

When the bell dinged and the elevator finally stopped at their floor Kai was relieved to be out of that cramped space and away from Tyson.

Those thoughts were not to be entertained. They were not to be brought to the forefront of his mind again. Kai was mad at himself for even letting it go as far as it did.


He shoved all images of Tyson out of his head whenever they popped up with a vengeance. He had an urge to cancel the study sessions with Granger because he didn't want those unwanted thoughts to resurface, but that was a cowardly thing to do. He had a few intrusive thoughts and those were to be ignored. This wasn't a problem.

Kai carefully shelved the incident in the elevator away, along with the one in the lecture hall, and focused on the preparations for the Ring.

During study hours, Tyson brought snacks with him to munch on while he worked on his essays and his constant movement was a distraction. Kai had to give up on his assignment and stare at him.

"Hey"

"What?"

"You're chewing too loud."

"Am I? Sorry." He sighed. "I just- It's a habit."

"I know."

"Snacking, I mean.

"Mhm. Please stop."

"Okay"

He folded the chips bag and pushed it into his book bag, dusting his hands afterwards. And instead of getting up and washing the crumbs out of his mouth like a normal person, he had to lick his lips clean.

Kai could not focus.

This wasn't a problem. It wasn't. He would not treat it like one.


Whenever Kai called Tyson in the middle of the night and it resulted in Tyson being sleepy during the day, in order to be comfy, he wore loose clothes. Big, fluffy sweaters and pants so he could sleep blissfully in the cold lecture halls.

He didn't change out of those before coming over to Kai's to help him with his homework and those were the worst days.

Tyson stretched and moved around on the couch instead of snacking. When he got too tired, he moved to the floor because sitting cross-legged on the ground helped him focus better and this resulted in more neck stretching and back stretching and god damn, he made Kai's cock hard.

And Kai couldn't punch him out for being so annoying because his face was cute.


He could sing. He was a singer with a soft voice. One that could lull Kai to sleep efficiently as a sleeping pill. Kai put him up to it. Gave him a guitar and told him to make those strings and vocal cords work because him losing sleep was partly Tyson's fault too these days.

He had discovered that talent of Tyson's completely accidentally. He'd wanted to embarrass Tyson on that first night he told him to sing but he turned out to be good at it. Just like he seemed to be good at almost everything.

They were in one of the upper floors of the house, sitting on a fluffy couch next to the tall windows overlooking the cliff and the city. A guitar in Tyson's hands and a headache behind Kai's eyes.

"Do you have any favourites?" Tyson asked all of a sudden.

"No"

"You don't listen to music?"

Kai didn't answer that. What a dumb thing to ask. Only Granger would ask questions like that.

"Sing whatever"

"Okay"

Through the fog of headache Kai recalled something. Something he'd wondered about before. "Do you have a thing for Hilary?"

"What?" His fingers stopped on the guitar.

"Your friend. You're excessively protective of her."

"No" Tyson smiled sheepishly. "People often think that but we're just friends. Best friends actually. Since childhood. We've been through a lot together so I would do anything for her."

A knight in shining armour. A valiant one at that.

"How sweet" he said, and it came out just as condescending as he wanted it to. Tyson got pissed.


Tyson was telling Kai stories. Unlike Kai who kept getting mad at him for no fault of his Tyson cooled down just as easily as he got angry. He forgot all about it very quickly too. And he was a chatty person. His stories were interesting, and Kai paid him all of his attention. To his words, his eyes, his mouth, his hair, his little expressions. And if Kai stepped a bit too close in the middle of all that and made things unnecessarily tense, he also made sure to ask Tyson questions to throw him off.

"My grandfather had a cotton candy making machine."

Is that why you smell like one? Kai thought immediately and kicked himself for it.

"Many years ago. When I was like 8. And I would stick my hand in it and make cotton candy around my arm." Kai just stared at him. He had stupid words coming up his throat, like 'you really are a cotton candy' and 'can I eat you?'

He couldn't open his mouth lest they jump out and embarrass him.

Tyson mistook that for silent judgement and shut up. Pouting again. Kai hated himself.


If it weren't for those intrusive thoughts, they could have been friends. Kai wouldn't have been so irritable all the time and snappy at Tyson. But they were ever present and annoying, sneaking into every interaction, every conversation. If they accidentally brushed or touched, like that one time when Tyson was passing Kai a glass of green juice and the glass was slippery and so Kai had to close his hand over Tyson's to make sure he didn't accidentally drop it he felt sparks that were definitely imaginary.

He was demented and insane. He needed help because why was he thinking Tyson was attractive when surely there was nothing under those clothes that Kai would actually find attractive?

Dicks had never turned him on, and men were never to his taste. His brain and his body needed to get it together.

Tyson had nice skin and a pretty face, and an adorable personality and Kai found those things attractive about him. But he didn't want to fuck him.


Tyson was stretching again. In front of the glass patio door, soaking up the early morning sun and Kai could see the outline of his delicate waist through his thin white shirt. Kai ignored him.

And the more he ignored him the harder it got to shut him out. He finally admitted that maybe it was a problem while he was in bed with Kristina one night because even though he was looking at someone else's naked form his head was filled with thoughts of Granger.

Even his voice was gorgeous. Soft and deep while normally speaking but light and feathery when laughing or complaining loudly.

Oh, Kai had a problem.


Kai received a note about three weeks into the semester. It had been slipped under the door overnight and when he asked Tyson (because Tyson was the only one apart from him in the house who was awake that early in the morning) if he'd seen somebody do it, he shook his head no.

When he opened the letter and read it, he saw red.

It was an apology letter. From Boris. The audacity of that man to send him an apology note as if he would ever forgive him for what he did. Sent a note because he was too much of a pussy to actually apologize to him and the boys face to face. He ripped it to shreds immediately and threw it into the bin. Tyson watched him curiously from where he was perched upon the kitchen counter, a large cup of coffee in his hand. His eyes were slightly bloodshot and face puffy and hair rumpled because Kai had called him over and dragged him out of bed just half an hour ago.

"Everything alright?" he asked tentatively.

"Yeah" Kai nodded once. He couldn't pretend he wasn't around anymore. He had to have a chat with Boris that day and Boris better pray to god that Kai didn't kill him on sight.


The door banged open as Kai entered the office. He had his own little private office and everything. Voltaire had made sure his ass was pretty damn comfy here.

Boris was startled upon his entrance but did not get up from his chair. The table must have felt a safe barrier to hide behind.

Kai closed the door behind him wordlessly and locked it.

"What are you doing here?" he asked Boris quietly.

"Working" The man answered like he was innocent, gesturing at the desk before him. "I run the drama club."

"The drama club," Kai repeated, his sarcastic smile melting off his face. "Be honest. How did you get in here? There is no way Dr Valkova let you in."

"The dean understands that I am a changed man. My experience in the…the last few years have changed me."

"Oh please, I don't buy that for a moment. There's no way she did."

Boris's watery purple met Kai's. "People change, Kai. I am sorry for what I did to-"

"Don't," Kai shouted. "Say that. Don't apologize. You're a fucking liar."

"I-" He looked down, at his hands, as though helpless. "Think whatever you want of me, but it is true."

Kai shook his head. He was disgusted. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I am a changed man and I realize the errors of my ways. I atone for those sins everyday-"

"You've found god?" Kai mocked.

Boris looked up again. "I have always been a firm believer of the Lord."

Kai wanted to wring his neck.

"I went astray, committed a lot of sins, I agree. But I am working hard to absolve myself of those sins, Kai. And the Dean understands this."

There was no way he fooled Valkova. Kai refused to believe it.

"That's why she offered me a position at her school when I told her about my troubles finding employment."

"Because you're a criminal and nobody wants to hire you."

Boris stayed silent, wearing the perfect look of regret on his face. The man was a con through and through.

"Voltaire shortened your sentence, didn't he? Next time you see my grandfather tell him I wish he was dead."

"Kai-"

Kai unlocked the door and left before he had to listen to any more lies from that man's mouth.


Kai's phone was ringing. His mother. He watched it ring and ring till it finally stopped and he received a voicemail. He hesitated for a moment before reaching towards the table and pressing on the notification.

"Kai" His mother's voice filled the whole bedroom and he held his breath. "It's been too long, baby. We miss you. Please…please call us back. Your mother misses you, baby-" He cut her off, clicking on the button to turn off the phone so the screen went black, and the device went silent.

His parents hadn't called him in months, but they did call. Kai never picked up and he wasn't exactly sure why. He just didn't want to talk to them. Not yet.

He spent an awful amount of money to get the door of his Porsche fixed, to have the bullet holes removed and the paint redone so it looked shiny and brand new again. He didn't let anyone other than the boys or Julia inside of it. It just didn't feel right, and he didn't date anybody. He never offered rides to others either. His heart was locking up in more ways than one.

Granger came to sit by his side one night. Kai was in the kitchen, sitting all by himself at the table and chair set near the door that led to the backyard, nursing a headache with alcohol, not feeling his best.

"Are you alright?" he asked quietly.

Kai didn't want to open his eyes. They wanted to remain shut, needed a break from light. "Mm" he voiced in response, a non-reply, leaving Granger to interpret that as whatever he wanted.

He heard him shift in his chair, like he moved a bit closer to Kai.

Then he asked in a whisper. "Do you need me to sing for you?"

What exactly went on in Granger's head? This wasn't the first time Kai had wished he could read Tyson's mind. It seemed to be an odd place, full of mysteries and surprises.

Kai removed his hand from over his eyes so he could open them to regard him. Granger was waiting. "No. You should go home."

He seemed to have a different opinion, pausing to think it over for a second. "It's late," he said. That was true. It was 02:00. "I don't feel like walking home right now."

It was funny how Granger considered the dorm his home. Was he serious about that? He couldn't have been. He spoke adoringly of his grandfather back at his actual home. It must have just been a habit.

"Do you want me to drive you there?"

"No" He shook his head fervently, reminding Kai of a puppy. Or a bunny. Tyson wasn't human. "No, thank you."

Kai nodded. "You can sleep on the couch. Just pull the lever on the side to turn it into a bed." His eyes were hurting again. He shut them, pressing down lightly with his fingers.

"I know." Granger touched his own face, smoothing his hands over his cheeks and chin before bringing them all the way back to his nape. A restless habit. He had a small pout on his lips as he observed Kai. "You sure you don't need me to-"

"Mm mm"

"An Advil?"

"No"

He sighed, giving up. "'kay" He got up, almost reluctantly. The chair scraping lightly on the floor. "Goodnight" He shot a small smile Kai's way.

"Goodnight"


Kai didn't clue in on the fact that he wasn't the only crazy one here and that this was a mutual thing before he called Granger over to help him in the basement while he trained.

All it took was for him to remove his shirt and briefly touch Tyson for a few seconds. He barely brushed him and the next thing he was looking at was a very red Granger. Cheeks flushed, eyes a little panicky and wide like he'd been caught and swallowing hard.

Oh

He hadn't been imagining it. Tyson was an accomplice. As guilty as him all along. Or may be just recently. Either way he was definitely feeling it and aware of it too now.

Tyson Granger liked him too. Kai gave the sandbag a little giddy punch. How wonderful.

Kai wanted to give Tyson a kiss right there but he settled for a shared knowing look instead. And may be a smile.

There was a small smile somewhere on his face but he mostly seemed spooked. A bit bewildered. Kai feared he might run away for a moment. But he stayed.

And that made Kai happier.


He didn't tease him much. Kai didn't get a lot of time or freedom to play with Granger as he liked, but he did take his chances whenever he could. And the way Tyson blushed was worth all the risk in the world.

He was adorable. Kai wanted to kick things.

Actual butterflies, nauseating as they were sat high in Kai's stomach whenever Tyson was around. He wanted to give Granger gifts. Spoil him with both material things and non-material things. But every time Kai pushed his luck a little bit, Granger pretty much flew out of his sight in fear.

He realized pretty quickly that he was going to be a handful.

Kai wasn't exactly sure when he came to terms with the fact that he wanted him despite him not having anything on him that Kai usually liked. No place for him to slide his dick into (without a little effort) like he said to Bryan. But apparently that didn't matter to his brain or his cock because as far as those two were concerned Granger ticked all of the boxes.

Brown hair.

Brown eyes.

Long legs.

Pretty waist

Pretty skin

Pretty, pretty, pretty. His smile, his walk, his talk, his accent even. Kai had to physically fight the urge to cup Tyson's face in his hands whenever he was near him and keep the fondness out of his expression when the boys were around because they would catch on at the slightest of slip ups.

They caught on anyway, despite his best efforts to hide it.

"Awww" Bryan crowed all of sudden one evening, and right in front of Granger too. Thank fuck Granger was as oblivious as an egg and struggled hard to connect the most obvious of dots or Kai's cat would have been out of the bag before he had a chance to come up with a plausible explanation to defend himself. "Bambi, give some more of those grapes to Kai, please. It looks like there isn't enough on his plate."

"What the fuck?" Yuriy muttered under his breath. "You cant be serious." He looked at Kai like he'd committed a crime. "No."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Granger didn't understand Russian or tone for that matter so he made sure to pass the bowl of grapes to Kai. He had joined them for dinner and it was a first. And Kai could have had a good time if his brothers hadn't decided to be a bunch of dicks forever.

Ian was wheezing with laughter. Sergei on his part was doing his best to not burst out laughing but it wasn't very subtle. And Tala was furious. "Not him."

"Who knew Kai loved grapes, right, Bambi?"

Tyson ignored Bryan whenever he called him Bambi so he just ate his food without responding.

"He likes bananas too. A whole fruit-lover."

Sergei exploded, guffawing so hard the table shook. Tyson was startled. Kai almost punched the fools around him. "Alright, that's enough."

Tyson seemed to be clueing in on it and so Kai had to distract him. He tapped his arm and asked him to bring a slice of cake from the fridge.

"But you don't like cake," said Granger.

"Oh he does," cried Bryan in Russian, close to tears. Sergei banged his fist on the table, unable to contain himself. Tyson was getting upset.

"It's for Tala," said Kai. "He could use something sweet today."

And then Tyson looked really upset. Had it been something he said?


"They were talking about me, were they not?" asked Tyson, when he was alone with Kai in the kitchen after dinner.

"No. No, it was about me."

"But they were bringing me into it."

Kai shook his head, stepping closer to him. "No. It's not you." Kai wanted to touch his face. Reassure him properly. "I wouldn't- " he started and then stopped himself. I wouldn't let them do that to you.

Tyson raised his eyebrows, waited to see if he would continue and when he didn't he sighed and left.


Months Later

Kai wanted to give Tyson the world. He put his neck out proposing to him. Went out of his way to make him happy. Took him to Death Valley, took him to Dubai, showed him nothing but the good sides of him, but Tyson didn't want him. He simply didn't want him. Maybe it was time he let him go. Admit defeat, accept the fact that he'd failed to win his heart. Failed to keep him for longer than a few weeks.

He should let Granger go.

He should.

Kai stood on the bridge, looking down at the river flowing beneath, lighter flicking on and off under his palm, licking the skin for a few twinging seconds so he could focus on that instead of what was going on inside of him.

"Do you love him?" Tala had asked, so so so many times.

"No" Kai had replied every one of those times.

Truth was he didn't really know. And now Tyson knew about the ugly side of Kai.

If he didn't want the good sides of him, why would he ever want the bad? Now that he'd had a glimpse of who Kai really was, what he could do, chances of him returning was low to none.

Kai let the lighter fall out of his hands into the river below.

Let him go, said the voice inside his head.

He finally decided to listen to it.


A/N: TEN THOUSAND WORDS! I'M A STAR! I'M A FUCKING STARRRRR! I actually clapped when I saw the word count after uploading the document. It's an achievement. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS. Anyways, it's been a while. So hello, how are you? How was the chapter? Did you like it? I am quite satisfied with it. I think.

To Singchord: Don't goooooooooo. I'll miss you. (Your mental health should always be your first priority and if the story is affecting it negatively it would be wise to stop reading it. Thank you for all the support so far. Take care. I will miss you.)

It's so nice to be back. It took me a while to write this chapter because I had literally 0 creativity or any imaginative thoughts for months so...yeah. I had to sacrifice sleep, drink lots of coffee and miss a dose of my medication to even write this chapter. Good sleep and good mental health equals no creativity for me and I'm pretty sure it's the same for most writers. Except Macibacsi because Macibacsi is super talented and I miss her. :(((

I miss all of my readers. Come back to meeeeeee

Please take good care of yourselves and I'll try to come out with the next chapter as soon as I can.

Love you! Love you! Love you! Stay safe! Bye-bye!