I was still angry with Malfoy as I sat in Potions on Monday.
I got there early this time and flicked through my notes.
He sat in silence and I hoped he would keep it up for the hour.
We made a potion today that acted as a counter potion to curses.
I hated the subject.
I must have read every damn book on the subject to find a potion that could save my grandma.
She had been hit by an unknown curse back in her Auror days.
At first everything seemed normal but gradually symptoms appeared and in the end she was so weak she couldn't get out of bed.
No one knew what the curse was until symptoms appeared and then it was too late, even counter potions and curses had done nothing.
But that didn't had stopped me from reading every possible book on the subject, hoping to find something the others missed.
That was not the case.
I hadn't really wanted to attend this class but Min had forced me.
And so here I sat, half-heartedly listening and staring into space.
A clap woke me from my stupor.
The other students stood up which could only mean that we could start brewing.
I quickly stood up and disappeared into the supply room with the others.
"Are you alright?", Neville asked.
"Yeah everything's fine", I answered him automatically.
"You can talk to me if anything's wrong."
He put a hand on my shoulder. I nodded in agreement.
That was all he said in response.
He also seemed to realise that I didn't want to talk about it.
I placed the cauldron full of ingredients noisily on the table in front of Malfoy.
He didn't seem bothered by it, so we began preparing the ingredients in silence.
"Merlin Malfoy", I cursed when I saw him trying to mash the blue peas with the same knife he had used to cut the other ingredients.
I intervened and not wanting to take the knife out of his hand so as not to touch his hand, I pushed the peas off the chopping board.
As I did so, I brushed my hand past the blade and cut my hand.
"Ow!", I cursed and reflexively pulled my hand away.
The cut was neither long nor bleeding badly, but it burned probably because fire bean residue still clung to it.
"Are you out of your mind?
The knife has to be clean when you crush the peas, otherwise you might as well start all over again!"
He lowered the knife and reached for my injured hand.
"Hands off!"
"I was just trying to help."
He raised his hands apologetically.
He should have kept silent or said something else but THAT was definitely the wrong thing to say.
"Oh you were just trying to help?", I hissed at him. "I can do this perfectly well on my own. I don't need any help and certainly not yours. You should know all about that."
I tried to put the most evil glint in my eye and sure enough he said nothing more.
I grabbed my wand and casted a healing spell over my hand. My knowledge was still good enough for this size of injury.
"How did you know?", he asked quietly after a while. "About the knife."
"I read", I replied snappishly.
"I guess I have you to thank for the good grade", was the next thing he said after Professor Slughorn had looked at our potion and rated it Outstanding.
"You're not the only one who can do something, after all."
I grabbed my things from the table and quickly disappeared from the room.
"You were pretty distracted in Potions today", Neville remarked over dinner.
"Don't like the subject", I answered truthfully.
I didn't know why I said that but if I hadn't now, I probably never would have.
"My grandma died from a curse. It was discovered too late, so all the potions didn't help.
I read everything about it anyway hoping to find something", I explained quietly and tears came to my eyes as I said it.
Carefully he put his hand on mine which was lying next to my plate.
"I'm sorry", he said softly, stroking my hand soothingly with his thumb.
Now I couldn't manage to hold back my tears and they ran warmly down my face.
Neville got up, walked around the table, sat down next to me and took me in his arms.
"You can tell me everything, okay?"
I nodded and wiped the tears from my face.
He was so so kind and understanding.
I would tell him the whole truth, I had to and I wanted to. Just not now.
Neville didn't let me out of his sight for the next few days, always asking how I was and sometimes even wanting to cancel meetings with Hannah.
Fortunately, I was able to dissuade him from the latter.
"I hate dance class", he complained as we stood outside the transformation classroom after school on Friday.
"Tell me about it. You can dance with your girlfriend, after all.
My partner is Malfoy."
Annoyed, I rolled my eyes.
"You really got the worst of it too", he laughed nervously.
"Eyes down and charge."
I took another deep breath before we walked out the door.
"Ladies hold your partner by the upper arm instead of the shoulder", Min instructed us and I sighed.
Malfoy was facing me and I hadn't imagined this lesson could get any more awkward.
But now that I was holding him by the upper arm and I could think of nothing else but his naked torso and well-trained arms.
An image that unfortunately crept into my thoughts more often than I wanted and always associated with the quote from Pansy.
I shook myself, hoping to shake the thought out of my head.
The music began to play and I concentrated fully on my step sequence.
One turn to the left, one turn to the right.
Once you had it down, it was easy.
I actually enjoyed it, although it would certainly have been even better if my partner wasn't Malfoy.
"To the ladies, you must let yourself fall completely into the arms of your counterpart. It's all about trust.
And to the gentlemen, if I see even one lady who isn't kept proper, I can become quiet unpleasent."
If a minute ago I had thought I was enjoying this, now I hated everything about it.
Me trusting Malfoy? Certainly not.
"You need to let yourself go."
I glared angrily at him.
"So you can drop me or what?"
"I'm not dropping you Harper."
He sounded so serious I was almost willing to believe him.
Still, I didn't really let myself fall once.
The lesson was almost over when there was a loud bang outside in the hallway.
I was startled and tripped over my own feet. I closed my eyes, expecting a rough impact on the floor, but it didn't come.
Instead I was held by two arms that I had thought would never catch me a few minutes ago.
"I said I wouldn't let you fall", Malfoy grinned mischievously as he set me back on my feet.
I rolled my eyes in annoyance, released myself from his grip and sprinted to the door like the other students to see who or what had set off the bang.
"Fireworks are forbidden on school grounds.
Come along, all of you!", scolded Min as she spotted the three fourth graders outside our classroom.
By Min taking the three of them to her office, the lesson was over for the rest of us, which I was rather glad about.
Giving Malfoy the satisfaction of knowing I had fallen and he had caught me was not something I wanted to give him.
I would get to hear that often enough next week.
