To my own surprise, I slept reasonably well.

One of the few nights without nightmares.

It was a little sad to think about but I had got used to these dreams. It had simply become a part of me.

Still, this nightmare-free night brought a better mood with it.

My melancholy from last night had largely disappeared, but it had given way to the uneasiness before my first day at school after the incident.

I only realised that my worry was completely unfounded in class.

Thanks to Neville and Hannah, I kept up perfectly as if I had never been away.

Some of the other students greeted me happily and asked if I was feeling better.

It turned out that it was well known in the school that I had been attacked but not explicitly what had happened.

I was very grateful for that, because I really didn't want to explain exactly why I had to stay in the hospital wing for so long.

But no one asked any more questions, everyone was just happy that I was back. And I was too.

I had missed everything here.

It was strange how quickly things could change, in September I didn't care about all this and just wanted to get it over with.

And now I had grown so fond of it all that I was actually sad that my time at Hogwarts would end with this school year.


Now that I was no longer bored out of my mind in the hospital wing, time flew by.

Neville, Hannah and I were sitting at lunch, chatting about the soon to be held memorial service and the ball that would come with it.

"Today is the first meeting of the planning committee. Are you going?", Hannah asked curiously.

Planning was right up her alley. She was totally into it and it wasn't even a question for me whether she was going to the meeting.

As for me, I hadn't made my decision yet.

I would certainly be out of place there.

I was not here when all this happened. I had not fought, nor did I know the people who had lost their lives in this war.

Nevertheless, I felt the need to pay them the tribute they deserved.

"It's not really my thing. Besides, I have enough to do with the N.E.W.T.'s," Neville explained.

"What about you Daisy?"

"I don't know yet."

"Oh come on. You can at least listen to it. I'm sure you've got some really good ideas."

She was really trying to convince me. And she was right, I should at least listen to it and then I could decide.

"Okay, I'll listen to it. But that doesn't mean I'm in," I quickly explained before she got her hopes up. Nevertheless, a big grin spread across her face.

She must have been very pleased with her powers of persuasion.

"Meet me at the Old Runes Classroom after dinner tonight. We can go together."

I nodded in agreement.

That settled the most important thing for Hannah and we all turned our attention back to our food.


Neville and I strolled over to Potions together.

"How much does Malfoy actually know?"

"What?", I had been caught up in my thoughts when this question surprised me.

"Have you told him about your special ability?"

I had asked him, as had Hannah, not to mention the word Animagus directly, simply in case anyone was eavesdropping.

'Special ability' was quite an accurate but funny description of it.

I had to chuckle, which was perhaps not the best response to his question.

Neville looked at me sceptically.

There were two possibilities: either I told him the truth and accepted that he might get mad at me again, or I lied to him and had to live with my guilty conscience.

I was tired of lying and so my answer was clear.

"He knows."

That was all it took. I didn't need to tell him that Draco had known significantly earlier or how he had reacted to it.

Neville knew.

He sighed.

"If he even says anything I'll kill him", Neville grumbled more to himself than to me.

"He won't say anything."

Neville just shook his head but didn't expand.


We were relatively early for class, so we had to wait a few more minutes.

Draco stepped around the corner and before I could even realise what was happening Neville rushed towards him, with a few quick steps and pulled him back around the corner he had just come around.

Some students looked confused but left it at that.

My curiosity almost killed me but I wouldn't go to them to eavesdrop.

They were both adults and I hoped sensible enough not to hurl curses at each other here at school.

So I stood still and waited.

And when Professor Slughorn came the other students followed him into the room, I did too, even though they hadn't come back yet.


I had already unpacked my things and opened the notes for today's class when Draco dropped into his seat next to me.

Looking up, I saw Neville a few rows in front of me, still looking at Draco with disdain.

Guiltily, I squinted over at Draco but he didn't seem bothered at all by Neville's looks.

"Sorry," I mumbled, feeling the need to apologise for my best friend's behaviour.

Draco, on the other hand, didn't say anything back but just shook his head and rummaged in his pocket to get out his notes.

Professor Slughorn began his lesson and since I couldn't afford to be mentally absent in Potions, I banished Neville and Draco from my thoughts and concentrated fully on the lesson.

That worked well, until the moment when a small piece of paper was passed to me from the right.

The moment the professor turned around and his attention wasn't on his students for a moment, I took my chance and turned my attention away from the lesson for a moment.

I carefully unfolded the small note that could only have come from Draco and read what he had written in his, for me always amazingly delicate handwriting.

«Don't worry about me and Longbottom, it's all sorted.

See you in the library later? »

As if he couldn't have just asked that?

I had to grin. I nodded in agreement and now I could also see a slight smile on one face.


As easy as it had sounded to meet Draco in the library, it was actually made difficult for me.

Hannah intercepted me directly after class and talked about tonight's meeting without interruption.

I really had to stop myself from rolling my eyes.

I had already agreed, she didn't need to convince me anymore.

But still, she kept me up for half an hour and I could already hear Draco's comment on my unpunctuality in my head.

At some point I actually managed to get rid of her.

Well, not me, but Neville.

He must have noticed that I wasn't really listening, or at least I wasn't interested, so he engaged her in conversation and pulled her away from me.

I silently thanked him but actually he had probably done himself a favour because now he could spend time alone with his girlfriend.

Whatever the reason, I was grateful for it.


Now I hurried through the corridors to the library and unseen into the section for No-Maj non-fiction.

Draco was already sitting there with a rather thick tome on the table in front of him.

He looked up at me as I turned the corner, breathing heavily.

To my surprise, he didn't make any stupid comment.

So I just dropped into the armchair opposite him.

"What's up?" I asked after he made no effort to start the conversation but continued to stare intently at his book.

He didn't respond at all, so I slid forward and waved my hand around in his field of vision.

"Heeelloooo. Earth for Malfoy. Are you even there?"

He shook himself as if breaking out of a stupor and finally looked at me.

"What?", he asked, confused as if he had only now really realised I was there.

"You were completely absent. Are you all right?"

He nodded.

"So, what's so important that you called me here?"

"Longbottom", was his short and very vague reply.

Confused, I raised an eyebrow.

"He doesn't like me very much."

And that very phrase for something so obvious was so funny at that moment that I couldn't keep it together and started laughing uproariously.

I doubled over in my chair and held my stomach laughing.

When I got side stitches I calmed down and wiped the tears of laughter from my face.

Malfoy just stared at me, perplexed.

"Even a blind man could see he doesn't like you. But the feeling is mutual, after all. It's nothing new, you didn't have to call me here for that."

I kept giggling as I said this but Malfoy's face remained rigid.

"It's not that funny."

He crossed his arms in front of his chest in a huff, making him look like a petulant little child.

That didn't really help me, but made me laugh again.

"I think it's pretty funny."

"Good on you for having a laugh at my expense."

He seemed genuinely serious, though I didn't understand why, and suddenly I felt guilty.

"Sorry. Why is it so bad that Neville doesn't like you?"

He just shrugged.

"Yeah he doesn't like you much but it'll be fine. You might just have to warm up to each other a bit and besides, no one expects you to become best friends.

It would just be nice if you didn't want to curse each other every time you see each other."

He nodded silently but didn't reply.

"Neville will be fine with us being friends. He just needs time."

Friends, we were just friends.

That little word 'just' had been forcing its way into my thoughts more and more over the last few days.

Do I just want to be friends with Draco?

I didn't know. But I did know that friends was the only thing he and I would ever be from his side.

Yes, he had changed and yes, us becoming friends had seemed as impossible at the beginning of the school year as the idea of telling even one person about my true identity. And yet both had come to pass.

But the difference between friends and more than friends was gigantic and with me and Draco it seemed even bigger.

For him, being friends with a half-blood was already the greatest possible departure from his principles and anything beyond that was unthinkable.

My head knew that, but my heart had a completely different opinion.

My heart kept awakening the thought in me of what it would be like if we were more than friends.

I shook myself, as he had just done.

I was happy the way it was, it was fine and sooner or later my heart would understand that too.

"It's not mutual, by the way."

Briefly I was confused if he had read my thoughts but then I realised he was referring to him and Neville.

"It's not?", I asked more than astonished. Draco had never given the impression that he liked Neville.

"Well, I wouldn't say I like him now but I don't hate him. I'd call it respecting him."

"You respect him?"

I couldn't hold back the astonishment in my voice.

He shrugged his shoulders.

"Yes, I suppose I do. Possibly I'm a little impressed that he didn't let it get him down despite my harassment of him.

At first, yes, he really was the worst Gryffindor ever but somehow he's quite brave, in his own special way."

At the word 'special' he drew inverted commas in the air.

Neville had told me a lot about what Draco had done to him in the first years of school and yes, I too was impressed by how strong and self-confident he now appeared to him.

But I never expected Draco to feel the same way.

"Don't you dare tell him that."

"Your dark secret is safe with me, as long as you keep mine too", I laughed to lighten up this rather strange situation a little.

But he didn't seem to find it quite as funny as I had hoped.

He looked at me grimly.

"You think I would tell anyone? I'd rather die before..."

"No, I never said that. Heavens Draco, I know you would never say anything. I was just trying to lighten this up a bit. Sorry", I interrupted him before he could finish his sentence.

"Oh", was the only thing he said in reply.

"I won't tell, I promise."

"Thanks."

He sounded genuinely grateful although he really should know that I was good at keeping secrets.

I needed to change the subject, talk about something else, and after getting slammed with it by Hannah today, it wasn't surprising which subject I switched to.

"Are you going to the meeting for the memorial service and ball today?"

He snorted.

Now that really wasn't such an odd question.

"No ten Thestrals would get me there.

The people there hate me. And they have every right to. I was on the wrong side of the war.

I don't even have any business being at the memorial service.

I'll probably just spend the whole day in my room, that would be the best thing for everyone.

I'd just spoil everyone's mood and mess everything up anyway."

As much as I didn't want to admit it, I understood his point.

I too was unsure whether I should really be involved in all the planning but I had never even thought of not going to the memorial service.

Yes, I had not been here but that did not change the fact that these people deserved honour and respect.

I could actually understand why he didn't wanted to come, although I still thought it was a bit cowardly of him.

I thought he should face up to his mistakes, so the others could see that he regretted what he had done and maybe they would be able to forgive him one day.

But the fact that he didn't even want to go to the ball made me sad.

Yes, I too might not have had the greatest desire to go to such an event, but at least I wanted to try.

And mainly I didn't want to let my newly acquired dancing skills go to waste.

Maybe I had also inwardly hoped that he and I would dance there together.

"Not even to the ball?" I tried not to sound quite as desperate as I felt.

Without him, I would probably spend the evening alone, since Neville and Hannah surely only had eyes for each other.

And I couldn't even blame them for that.

I had hoped for Draco's presence, simply because I liked having him around and not being alone. The fact that he didn't even want to be seen with me in public only occurred to me now.

"Rather not. Like I said, I'd mess it up for everyone else."

"Not for me!", I wanted to scream but I stayed silent and just nodded.

"I'll book you a dance anyway. Maybe you'll change your mind."

"With you?", he asked, raising an eyebrow.

I didn't know if he was surprised or if he meant it pejoratively, as if it should have been clear to me that he would never lower himself to dance with me outside of dance class.

I nodded.

"You are my dance teacher after all. I think you should at least have the opportunity to see the full result of your efforts."

He just hummed in agreement and now I didn't know what else to do.

Something was wrong with him today, something was wrong but I knew I couldn't force him to talk to me.

If he wanted to, he would eventually and the less I tried the more likely he would open up.

I knew him that well.

He turned back to his book and I felt more than superfluous.

"I'll leave you to it then."

He only looked up briefly.

"All right, I'll see you." Then his eyes fell back to the pages in front of him.

Something was up, something big, and it bothered the hell out of me that he wasn't talking to me.

I'd figure it out, eventually, somehow.