Squidward yawned and stretched his tentacles, before sighing in delight while walking to work…about half an hour past noon.

"Man, I haven't slept this well in ages." He smiled contently. After bidding farewell to his late nemesis, Squidward had an oddly quiet and peaceful week. Not having any grand ambitions and using his two decades' worth of experience in dealing with his co-worker/neighbor really helped. He hadn't felt this rejuvenated in years.

"Hmmm….what cover story should I tell SpongeBoob this time?" he wondered jokingly. "Defective alarm clock? Nah, already used it twice? Broken lock? Nope, used it yesterday? Getting the sniffles? Oh no, I should save that one to give myself the day off tomorrow."

As he finally walked through the front door and into the eating area of the Krusty Krab, he saw that it was already filled with customers; sitting, chatting, and enjoying their meals, and the smell of sizzling patties from the kitchen confirmed that SpongeBob was already there and hard at work. No surprises here.

"Mr. Tentacles, there you are?" SpongeBob peeked through the window, somersaulted into the eating area, and approached him, carrying a platter with half a dozen patties.

"Hello, SpongeBob. I see you're a model employee as usual." Squidward humored him with a bland smile.

"What took you so long, sir? You should have been here five hours ago?" the sponge asked in a worried tone.

"Yeah…um…" a blasé Squidward improvised an answer, "…I found a poor snail stuck in a tree. I just couldn't stand there and watch, so I helped it down, and then…eh…I took it to the vet. Yeah, yeah, to make sure it was alright, and then I went around and found it a new, loving family… cuz it was a stray."

SpongeBob was awestruck and tears poured from his eye as he clutched his hands. "How noble of you. You are such an inspiration, Mr. Tentacles."

"Guess I am." Squidward shrugged. He could really get used to this "Mr. Tentacles" business. Old Man Krabs had been missing for a week now, that was surely enough to be declared dead by the authorities, right? Not like they could retrieve his remains from some remote mountain slope or uncharted jungle or wherever he went off to.

"Pew. What a relief to hear that you were just doing your civic duties." SpongeBob wiped his forehead after delivering the platter to Fred Sr., Fred Jr., little Freddy, and the rest of their family.

"What do you mean?" Squidward asked idly.

"Nothing… I was just worried that you might have been kidnapped by Plankton. That fiend will never give up trying to steal the Krabby Patty formula." SpongeBob admitted. "But I keep forgetting, he's more into overelaborate theft than kidnapping."

Squidward cocked an eyebrow. "Um…SpongeBob? Plankton's dead. You were there when he died days ago. Something about his synthetic body falling apart?"

SpongeBob looked at him with a blank expression for a few seconds, which unnerved the octopus a bit, before erupting with hearty laughter.

"That's a good one, sir!" he shot a finger gun at the octopus. "We should hold another Komedy Krab show, you'd be a riot if you went on stage."

Squidward blinked. He knew SpongeBob was a bit delusional, but the nitwit had personally witnessed Plankton's demise, together with him and Sandy. Such horrific imagery would surely be burned into a person's mind. What was going on here?

"Sponge-"

"Why, Plankton's probably in the Chum Bucket right now!" SpongeBob narrowed his eyes and held his hand above them while eyeing the restaurant across the street, his tone dead serious. Squidward's eyes widened incredulously.

The octopus could clearly see that the Chum Bucket was boarded up and there was a big "closed" sign on it. Did SpongeBob not see that?

"Probably concocting another diabolical scheme to steal Mr. Krabs's legacy! It's never a good sign when he's on the down low for so long, so we must remain on high alert. Mr. Krabs is counting on us!"

"SpongeBob, what are you prattling on about?" Squidward grew irate. "Plankton's dead, deceased, departed, kaput, history, pushing up daisies. Actually… he's not even doing that, because his ashes were scattered across the ocean. You and I saw it. I repeat, we SAW it. We'll never have to worry about him again-"

"I admire your optimism, Mr. Tentacles." SpongeBob nodded to him before walking away toward the kitchen, leaving Squidward utterly dumbfounded. "But we mustn't grow too complacent. It's what Plankton is counting on!"

He looked at Squidward as he grabbed the doorknob and sent him a "watching you" gesture. "So keep your eyes peeled. Remember Mr. Krabs's teachings!"

"Mr. Krabs?" Squidward grimaced. Just how on Earth was he going to break the news to the poor, delusional shmuck? By all accounts, Krabs must have finally met his match. Probably whatever creature Squidward had heard roaring on the phone.

Squidward wasn't particularly upset about it, for he and Krabs were acquaintances at best, and the latter had caused him plenty of grief over the years with little compensation, and it also meant that he was now effectively the permanent manager and maybe even owner of the Krusty Krabs.

"OH MY GOSH!?" SpongeBob beamed.

Squidward jolted in surprise as the sponge rushed past him and pressed his face against the glass wall, sporting s big, doofy smile and sparks in his bulging eyes.

"Look, Squidward! Look! Mr. Krabs has finally returned!"

"Say what?" Squidward blurted and joined him. Gazing at the road, he did indeed see his stingy boss staggering toward the restaurant. He was disheveled, his pants were in tatters and he was wearing a white fur coat for some reason.

"I knew I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up…" Squidward droned dejectedly. Nothing good lasted forever, back to the usual business hours it seemed.

A jubilant SpongeBob skipped out and Squidward slowly walked after him to greet their boss.

"MR. K! We've missed you so much!" SpongeBob ran up to him, barely reframing himself from glomping Krabs. The latter just stood there with a dreary and miserable expression.

"Welcome back, sir." Squidward did a halfhearted salute. "I hope your stay in "New Kelp City" has been most enjoyable. The "convention" went on for more than a day, huh?"

"It must have, Squidward." SpongeBob chuckled in agreement. "You must have had a blast, sir! Still wishing you were there, huh, huh?"

"I'm sure he does." Squidward replied flatly.

"You'll be pleased to know that we kept your restaurant in tip-top condition during your longer-than-expected absence! It was such an enlightening experience…" SpongeBob started excitedly, but while he prattled on Squidward noticed that something was off about Krabs.

The old crustacean was completely unresponsive, just standing there with a glazed look and slouching, with his claws dragging on the pavement. And now that Squidward thought about it, Krabs looked even more wrinkly and crusty than usual, and his vibrantly red shell looked a bit pale.

"That's nice, boyo…" Krabs finally spoke, his tone hollow and lethargic.

"Mr. Krabs? You feeling okay?" Squidward inquired. "Not to encroach on your private matters but are you going to molt again? You look a little pale around the gills?"

Krabs sighed and glanced down.

"Huh?" SpongeBob grabbed one of Krabs's arms and inspected it. "You might be right, Squidward?"

"Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. It's nothing to be embarrassed about." He assured Krabs before whispering, "But let's get you inside your office quick, there are children out here."

"Laddie, I ain't moltin'…" Krabs's lip trembled. "I ain't ever moltin' again."

Squidward's brow furrowed while SpongeBob was puzzled but naturally drew the most optimistic conclusion from that bleak response.

"Oh, so they invented a cream that stops molting?"

"Meet me in me office, be quick 'bout it…" Krabs said gravelly, a tinge of urgency entering his tone, and staggered into the Krusty Krab, making creaking noises with each step.

Squidward eyed his every move with a pensive expression.

"Uhhh….isn't this great, Squidward!" SpongeBob was breathing rapidly with excitement. "Mr. Krabs has another important announcement to make!"

"Yeah…I guess?" was all Squidward could say. Something didn't seem right, but he supposed they would learn soon enough.


Half an hour later, Squidward and SpongeBob entered Mr. Krabs's office and found their boss sitting at his desk as usual.

But Krabs wasn't looking at them, he had his face buried in his claws and didn't even seem to notice them. Exchanging glances, the two took their usual seats in front of Krabs and waited for him to say something. But he didn't.

"Um…Mr. Krabs?" SpongeBob asked, minding his manners. "You wanted to see us?"

Sighing, Krabs straightened himself. Squidward was surprised to see that his eyestalks were bloodshot. He knew Krabs seldom cried…as long as no monetary woes were looming over him. Then he'd turn on the waterworks real quick.

"Boys…" he sniffed. "I don't know how t' break this t' ye? But I…"

Squidward's natural impulse was to make a snarky remark in regard to the banality of his boss's usual announcements, but he didn't. Something about Krabs wasn't right. His brazen and chatty boss was rarely at a loss for words, especially when Krusty Krab business was concerned.

Did he fail to find the treasure he was looking for or whatever he was doing out there? Unlikely, Krabs's previous treasure hunts and hair-brained "get rich quick" schemes often went south but he didn't sulk about them…for more than a few days anyway.

Actually, now that Squidward thought about it, Krabs really wasn't as manly and thick-skinned as he liked to claim he was.

"And he called ME a baby for having a tombstone in commemoration of my hopes and dreams." Squidward scoffed inwardly.

"Say no more, Mr. K." SpongeBob held up a maroon-colored bathrobe. "You can wear this once your shell falls off. We won't think any less of you with your gross pink flesh exposed."

Squidward shuddered at the mental image.

"I told ye tis NOT 'bout me stinkin' shell, SpongeBob." Krabs scowled, raising his voice a bit.

"Oh?" SpongeBob realized before another idea hit him. "Is it time to have our check-ups again?"

"No-"

"Fear not, Mr. Krabs!" SpongeBob cut him off and raised his finger. "We'll keep you safe from those nasty needles, stethoscopes, and old magazines. I'll just call in a favor from Larry to pose as you again-"

"SpongeBob! Tis not it either." Krabs barked. "There ain't no check-ups."

"Maybe if you let him finish, we would know the issue by now. Just a suggestion?" Squidward deadpanned, making SpongeBob shrink and flush.

"Sorry… proceed, Mr. Krabs." The sponge said sheepishly.

Calming down, Krabs saw that he now had their full, undivided attention, and yet he couldn't find his voice. He tried to think of a way to tell them the bad news. He knew SpongeBob would be absolutely devastated, but keeping the poor boy in the dark any longer would only make things worse.

"What are ye sayin'?" he told himself. "He ain't no boy anymore, he's 43 years old. Ye watched 'im grow and…not change at all in what now? In 20 years?"

"I'm afraid there's gonna be some changes here…." He started meekly.

"Changes?" SpongeBob covered his mouth in excitement, shaking in his seat.

Squidward was the exact opposite. "Changes? Like what?" he snarked. "Buying us new hats?"

We get a closeup of Squidward's hat, which is tattered, stained, covered with brown patches, and has bugs and worms crawling out of it.

"No, Mr. Squidward." Was his boss's weak reply. "I think ye two will be takin' on a lot of new responsibilities goin' forward…"

That piqued Squidward's interest a bit. SpongeBob, meanwhile, had a massive grin and was holding onto his chair, still shaking.

"…and I don't think I'll be there t' supervise ye. Ye'll be runnin' the business on yer own."

"You're finally reopening the Krusty Krab II!" SpongeBob jumped on top of his seat and spun it in circles. "Yippee! I'm gonna be a manager-"

"Will ye stop spinnin', ye idiot!" Krabs yelled, making SpongeBob come to a screeching halt, and even Squidward was caught off guard by the sudden outburst.

SpongeBob sat down and wilted as Krabs glared at them. "Tis has nothin' t' do with that failed business venture from 16 years ago!"

Seeing SpongeBob's fearful look, Krabs calmed down and immediately felt guilty for snapping at him like that. He did not want the lad to remember him like this.

"SpongeBob… I'm sorry I yelled at ye…" he covered his face in shame "…I jus' don't know how t' tell ye boys the terrible news."

"Terrible news?" SpongeBob and Squidward said in unison.

"Yes, very, very terrible news." Krabs nodded.

As Squidward drew a breath to speak, Krabs clarified, "And it has nothin' to do with money, or the Krusty Krab, or ye two. Tis all 'bout me."

A lightbulb went off over SpongeBob's head.

"Now, I get it." he smiled once more. "You're not feeling young again?"

Krabs facepalmed. Well, the little chucklehead was halfway right.

"Say no more! I have the perfect remedy for it!" SpongeBob assured him. "Me and Patrick will take you out for another wild night! And we won't panty raid anyone, least of all your mother."

"Ye can't panty raid someone who isn't with us no more." Krabs thought sadly, and he doubted he and his old lady would be reunited.

"It's not that either." He added, making SpongeBob's face drop.

Money? The Krusty Krab? His employees? Molting? Failed attempts to expand the KK brand? Check-ups? Mid-life crisis? If none of those were bothering Mr. Krabs, then what in Neptune's name could? Squidward was out of ideas.

He knew Plankton couldn't be the issue either, so what was it? For the first time in his last 20 or so years of servitude in this dingy place, the cephalopod was actually unable to read his super-predictable boss like an open book.

Was this actually… serious?

"SpongeBob. Squidward." Krabs glanced at his desk with a forlorn look. "I'm afraid me days are numbered."

Squidward's eyes widened in shock while SpongeBob looked confused.

"Mr. Krabs? You're not seriously thinking about… retiring?!" the sponge gasped. "You have so many more years ahead of you!"

"I've lived a lot of years." Krabs quipped sardonically. "More than most sea folk…far more. But I think me time has finally run out."

Squidward was taken aback. Could it be true? It seemed unfathomable. As much as he'd been entertaining the idea this week, part of him kept telling him that it was impossible.

SpongeBob just sat there, silent and unresponsive. Observing him, Squidward wondered if the simpleton finally got the memo? If so, Squidward dreaded not having an umbrella with him.

"Mr. Krabs… there is no shame in being old." The sponge gave an awkward smile. "Why, age brings a lot of benefits…like…eh, wisdom…and eh…amazing shuffle-boarding prowess?"

"SpongeBob, me boy…" Krabs shook his head, almost taking amusement in his employee's boundless naivete. "I've grown old a long time ago, but I ain't gonna grow even older."

"What…what do ya mean by that?" SpongeBob asked in a shaky voice, his mind struggling to block out the obvious implication his boss's words carried.

Squidward didn't have that problem. And for all his cynicism and apathy towards the world, even he didn't treat this concept lightly.

"Mr. Krabs…" he asked tentatively "…are you trying to tell us that you're….that you're…"

They were suddenly assaulted by indoor lightning, making the trio flinch. All lights went out in the room and sickly green mist started appearing all around them, accompanied by a foghorn sound.

They were greeted by a familiar pirate laugh as the mist started morphing into a towering figure, who lifted his arms up and laughed diabolically, accompanied by more lightning, making the Krusty Crew cower in fear.

"Holy shrimp! It's the horrible Flying Dutchman!" SpongeBob cried in mind-numbing terror as the green ghost loomed over him, Squidward, and Krabs.

"Cut the drama, SpongeBob." The Flying Dutchman leaned down towards him. "We know each other."

He then went right back to being dramatic as he resumed hollering with maniacal laughter.

"Eugene Krabs!" he pointed his crooked finger at the trembling crustacean. "Yer time has FINALLY come!"

"I'm not Eugene Krabs!" Krabs shook his head frantically, sweating bullets. "I'm Flower Harold…eh…I mean Harold-"

The Flying Dutchman's booming laugh cut him off, before the former put his hands on his hips, smirking with glee. "Ye though ye could evade me forever, did ye?"


So this will be my final entry in what I guess is a trilogy now, following "Some Things Never Change" and "Finite", now focusing on and concluding a story thread that's been in the background in the first two stories, and you can pretty much guess what's in store for ol'Krabs.

Oh, and don't you dare tell me "But this contradicts this and that episode". SpongeBob is a show that has been going on for two decades now, and even with me diverging from "canon" in 2020 (this takes place a week after "Some Things Never Change", written in 2020), it's still like 400 episodes to consider and I ain't gonna try to rationalize all of them within the context of one continuity, especially since the show itself has constantly been contradicting itself ever since the Hillenburg era. For the sake of this story and my other SpongeBob fics, I've been using selective continuity, a.k.a. doing what I think serves the story/joke well (like continuity references) and ignoring what doesn't XD