DISCLAIMER: The story doesn't belong to me; the characters are property of S. Meyer, and the plot belongs to Annalau Thank you so much for letting me share your story in English!
Gracias Laura, por darme esta oportunidad!
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Chapter 15
Truce
Embarrassed I cleaned up the kitchen area.
I had vomited violently on the floor and Bells did the same as she ran off to the bathroom.
My body was still shaking and her words «I'm pregnant» echoed in my head.
Upset, I ran my hands through my hair after rinsing my mouth out in the sink.
My heart could be heard thundering in my ears as my bloodstream seemed to flow like fiery lava.
I left a fist on the counter. Why was she telling me that? She couldn't be so cruel and make fun of me.
All those Instagram stories I saw with her friend came into my head. I was falling into a loop of altered emotions.
Calm down, Edward. You can't start with your jealousy.
I exhaled noisily and it was as if that was enough for each piece to fall into place.
If the baby wasn't mine she would never talk about it. It was a matter of congruence.
She was... I shook my head, there was nothing to think about.
It was mine.
"I'm sorry," I muttered as I saw her arrive again.
She had pulled her hair back into a half ponytail, her nose and cheeks had a little color in them and her eyes were red. She had cried again.
"Don't worry. It was unavoidable not throwing up when I saw you doing it. I'm sorry too," she apologized, grimacing.
Nervously she ran her hands under the stream of water before turning to me.
"Do you want another coffee?" she asked.
"Yes."
I saw her take longer than necessary at the coffee pot.
"Since when?" I cleared my throat. "I mean, how many months are you?"
"Ten weeks," she replied as she set the coffee down in front of me.
My brain immediately processed that it was the time where I... My breathing quickened and so did my heart rate.
I needed fresh air.
I walked to the back door and opened it. The early morning blizzard hit me sending numbness throughout my body. Maybe that was what I needed.
All the fateful memories of that night that I had stored deep in my memory were slowing down like flashes.
And the baby was a clear reminder of what I did to her.
Nausea began to rise in my throat, I quickly covered my mouth with one hand and started pacing back and forth. I would vomit again.
"Edward... are you okay?"
I nodded.
I turned to her and froze, staring at her. She was behind me, and she was grimacing with concern.
"I... I'm... just... impressed," I said slowly.
"I just went to my first prenatal appointment," she smiled slightly. "I've lost a lot of weight."
I didn't understand why, but her feigned cheerfulness pissed me off. I knew she was trying not to make me feel bad when everything was already bad.
"I thought you were taking pills," I commented emotionlessly.
We looked at each other. Maybe challenging each other to a good conversation. One where we were going to hurt each other because we'd end up exploding at each other. As usual.
"Many times I forgot to take them," she muttered. And from the tone of her voice, I knew she was holding back from going off on me.
"Are you gonna have it?" I cupped my face with both hands as I asked such an idiotic question.
"Edward, I'm not forcing you to do anything. I can take care of him without your help, you don't need to get involved if you don't want to."
"Are you going to leave him in a daycare all day?" I asked ironically.
"If you left Eric with me was for a reason, wasn't it? I can take care of both of them, I don't need you."
"You would have preferred me to take him away from you, wouldn't you? Then you could work all day without interruptions of any kind."
"You don't know anything."
"Would you have fought it?"
"He's my son! In my life I would never have left him to you. Who do you think I am?"
I took a breath of air. I leaned my back against the back door and decided to calm down. We couldn't go on like this, it was draining, and I didn't want to make her feel bad either, not in her state.
I had made her cry. And my remorse was unbearable. I wanted to hug her against my chest and ask for forgiveness.
"Bells..." I spoke, "We need to calm down."
She didn't raise her head. She was bent over the counter, crying.
"I know I'm a shitty woman," she exhaled. "The worst for abandoning my baby. Believe me, I reproach myself every second and ask for forgiveness. But my intention was never to hurt you, believe me. It was never to lose you and have you hate me."
Hate her? I could never have that feeling for her.
The only thing I reproached her for was her abandonment, however, I didn't want to talk about it. Since that had us divorced and it was painful to remember it.
We had to agree on a truce.
I was also to blame for where we were. It was both of us, I recognized that.
"I think the main thing is to talk well," I said. "No more complaining, no more yelling. I don't hate you, Bells. I never could."
She lifted her face and brushed back some of the locks that covered her pretty face. She looked at me quizzically as if a thousand doubts were crossing her mind, and even held her lower lip between her teeth.
But if she thought to ask questions she kept them to herself.
"I don't want to argue anymore," she muttered. "I'm at a point where I can't take it anymore, Edward."
"I think we are at the same point," I clarified. "We need to stop arguing and think about the welfare of our children."
Our children. It sounded beautiful, instead, I remembered how the baby had been fathered and all happiness diminished to zero.
God. I was going crazy.
"I agree," she said.
I smiled a sad smile, which she reciprocated.
"How will we work?" I wanted to know.
"Well... first of all, you can see chick whenever you want. I mean, you don't have to wait until Wednesday of every week or every other week."
I snorted.
"Do you need time to work?"
"I do it for my son," she replied. "Maybe it's best if we stick to visiting days, though."
"No. No, I'd rather see him when I or he wants to."
She nodded.
"Okay...and with the baby," she bit her lip. "I'll be catching you up on my prenatal appointments, okay?"
"Yes, I agree, Bells."
We stared into each other's eyes for what felt like a lifetime. There, not saying a word, just looking at each other wistfully. Maybe both of us remembering what we once were.
It was then that my cell phone vibrated, and I could see Claire's name appear on the screen. Bells saw it too.
I furrowed my eyebrows.
What was she doing calling me in the wee hours of the morning?
In Spanish baby is a masculine noun so I left "him" when referring to the baby most of the time;)
I want to clarify why Edward didn't ask many questions about the day she got pregnant. Since the two of them were not having sex, it was easy for him to deduce (with the dates Bells said) that the baby was from that time and therefore it was clear to him that it was his.
Remember that from now on we're on the present. Infinite thanks for all the support you have given the story. Sending virtual hugs!
What do you think about both of them? Do you think it will be easy to keep things calm?
THANK YOU FOR READING
