Genshin Impact: Mondstadt Alter
Act 1 Chapter 2:
Preparation
It's been a week since the incident. Currently, I'm sitting on the bed, reading a book. My eyes are glued to the pages I'm on, and I position myself as relaxed on the bed. Since I have no one at home, The Seneschal told me that I could stay here as long as I want. He also told me that since now I'm an orphan, they can take care of me. Having no reason to refuse, I accepted his offer.
While I'm still 12 years old, living alone at home is nothing new to me. Dad and mom were rare at home, they often busy with their work and at home mostly at night, on days off, and weekends. They left me alone at home often, but strangely, I didn't feel lonely. I always find something that keeps me away from feeling lonely, by doing chores, reading books, and sometimes doing little exercises, even I can sleep most of the time. If anything, the sense of being bored occurred more often than being lonely to me back then.
Strange, isn't it?
Don't get me wrong. If that somehow sounded like I'm distant from my parents, that's not true. Indeed, we didn't spend a lot of time together, but my parents always make up for the time we didn't spend time together on their days off or weekends. I always appreciated their effort to spend their time together with me despite them always being busy with work. Meaning the time they spent with me was supposed to be the time to rest. I felt their companion with me was something indispensable.
"And now, they are gone…" I looked at my left wrist, where there are bracelets. "... I feel
lonely."
My eyes started to moisten. Before anything flows out, I shut my eyes tightly as I take a deep breath, composing myself. A voice responded to me.
[I see.]
Took me a minute to completely return to normal.
"Really? I told you the whole story of my life before my parent are gone, and all you got to say was, "I see." Seriously?" Hearing that response, I frowned.
[What do you want me to say then?]
"Well, I don't know. I'm expecting something like comforting words or something."
[Like what?]
"Uh…" I held my chin as I tried to think of an example. "Something like, "I'm sorry to hear that." probably?"
[Are you asking me back?]
I'm starting to lose patience talking to him.
"Look, listen. You were asking me to tell you my story, and so I did. Here I thought you would feel sympathy for me by saying something more sentimental than a mere "I see."."
[I didn't. All I said was that you didn't look good, then you started to tell me the whole story as if I asked in the first place.]
I blink a few times hearing that. I feel the heat rising to my face, thinking if what he said is true, then that means I accidentally vent on him? But still! That doesn't mean he should just say "I see." after hearing my story. What kind of person does that?
[Comforting words don't matter. I can tell you've been keeping these feelings since you recalled that tragedy of yours.]
"I- …"
[You feel a little better now right? While giving you sympathy may work better, I simply thought that was not necessary.]
"... You are cold." I mumbled as I lower my head.
[I won't deny that.]
I know, he's like this. He is supposed to be like this. He asked me for him to stay with me due I owe him. He said he won't do anything that will affect me, the way I live. In other words, he will be the witness of my life.
At first, I thought I would think of him as an invisible companion, or at worst a parasite. He told me very little about himself. I don't know what his name is, who he is, what his objective is, or what he looks like. I also don't know how far I can trust him and his words. This past week, he hadn't done anything but spoke to me occasionally.
[Hey.] He suddenly called me.
With slight annoyance, I replied, "What?"
[You've been staying in this room for a week without going outside. Are you not bored?]
His question piqued my interest. Does he find what I did boring? I've indeed been staying here without leaving the church, most of the time I locked myself in this room and only went outside if I needed to go to the bathroom. The sisters always brought me food when it was time to eat, so I didn't have to go out and ask them to make food for me.
My appetite has not been usual. In just a few spoons of my meals and my appetite is gone. While sometimes boredom still creeps on me, I find them nothing is out of the ordinary, especially knowing me in this state. But I could ask people to bring me some books so I can read them to pass time.
"Are you?" I throw the ball back.
There was silence for a few seconds before he spoke. [I see. Let me guess.]
"Huh?" His response confuses me.
[Judging from your story, reading is one of your hobbies. So you asked people here to bring you some books. I could tell you were bored sometimes this past week. But since you're still grieving, the boredom doesn't bother you as much.]
I intently listening to what he said, so I didn't say anything. Then he continued.
[In your story, you don't seem to have friends. You never mention you spent your time with one after all.] My eyebrow twitched hearing him said that.
[You must be a homebody.]
"Excuse me?"
[Oh, maybe a recluse is more fitting for you?]
"What are you talking about? Of course not!" I deny his claim.
[Really? Then how come nobody visiting you until now?]
"I- ..." He cut me.
[You don't know a lot of people.]
"Okay, this is getting annoying. What's your point?"
It's rare for me to go outside, I would be lying if I say no to that statement. Back then, I never thought to go outside my house because I didn't see the point. My parents were always nagging me about how important friends are and asked me to make some friends by going outside. But because I thought what I had was enough, I never listen to what they said to me. I sometimes find it irritating how often they brought up the topic to me, despite I knew they meant well.
My parents were worried I would feel lonely if I don't play with my peers, but never once did I feel that way. Keeping myself busy works well to prevent loneliness for me, too well even. But now, things have changed. My life has changed forever.
[Sheesh. Chill. I'm just trying to say that you need someone to talk to.]
"Aren't you contradicting yourself?" I contended.
[I know, that's why said it.]
"I'm not sure I get what you meant."
[Simply put, get your ass out of here.]
"I don't need to."
I refused because I don't think the problem I have is something that can be fixed by going outside, plus I don't know what should I do after going outside. I have a feeling if I do so, things will go south.
[You sure are a stubborn one. I'm starting to think you're actually a recluse.]
"Say whatever you want." I grumbled as I look back at the book I'm currently holding.
[If you keep doing this, it would drive you to madness.]
"I'm not mad."
[Yet.] I just responded with a sigh.
Neither I nor he speaks anything for a while. Since it's still very early in the morning, only a few have awake. The sun has yet risen, its very calming atmosphere and the breeze make it better. The chandelier illuminates the room and is the only light source I have right now. Reading at this time and not enough lighting for the reading standards is bad for my eyes, but I couldn't care less.
"What makes you think going out would help me?" I straighten my body on the bed and closed the book in my hands.
[Oh? Finally interested in my suggestion?]
"I'll consider it."
[Human needs each other, Morgan. When you're feeling down, interacting with others is simply your best bet to cope with your sadness, instead of locking yourself away from people like what you're doing. I can tell you have a strong will for being a kid, but you can't solve everything alone. You have people around you, and they are nice to you too. I'm sure they are more than willing to help you if you ask them.]
I listen to him carefully and thoroughly without missing a beat. Closing my eyes as I face up, I grit my teeth and clench my fist.
I know that I shouldn't keep grieving my parents' death forever.
I know what I'm doing to keep myself together is wrong.
I know I don't have anyone.
I know my flaws better than anyone and hearing that from someone others than me pisses me off. Although what he said was not wrong, it was still a hard pill to swallow for me. These flaws are not easy to deal with either with or without help from someone. In the past week, I didn't just sit on the bed while reading books without thinking about the future. I've been trying to figure out what should I do from now on.
Is the solution really that simple? Did I overlook and underestimate it? Is the problem I'm facing right now isn't actually a big deal?
"Ugh…" I clutch my forehead. I'm not in a good shape, just thinking a little too much makes my head hurt.
[Are you done having an existential crisis?]
"Spare me. Do you think it's okay?"
[Well, I merely giving you a suggestion. Whether you're gonna do it or not, it's up to you to decide. It won't hurt to try anyway.]
Maybe he's right. Sitting here all day won't get me anywhere, and it's the first time he gave me some advice. It's not like I trust him, but I don't have a better option either. Everyone I spoke to so far seems like they were… holding themself to speak too much with me. Some tried to give me comforting words however, most of what they said got into my right ear and then out to my left ear.
Losing my parents seems like giving me some sort of trust issues.
"It's still 5 in the morning, so most people are still asleep. And I don't feel sleepy, let's head out." I said as I put the book on the table.
[Now that's the spirit.]
After getting out of bed, I make the bed and put on some fresh clothes. When I put my hand on the knob, he spoke to me once more.
[By the way, don't forget about it.]
"Hmm? About what?"
[Your vision.]
Ah, the vision that is lying on the table. I didn't touch it for a week, I neglect it on purpose. Grand Master Varka told me the day after he found me, telling me that his men found it lying next to me, therefore the vision is mine. I don't care whether it's mine or not, I don't need it. Why would I want power after when I needed it the most?
"Why would I need that?" I questioned his words.
[You won't let yourself go through that again, would you?]
I widened my eyes and grit my teeth when he brought up that memory to me. Firmly holding the knob, I let out a sigh. I give in as I turn my back and walk toward the table to pick up the vision. Looking at it again, this thing really looks pretty up close.
I shake my head to get off the thoughts. I picked it up and put the vision on my right hip, hiding it under my shirt. I have no reason to hide it, but I don't want to use it if possible. Keeping it away from my sight will allow me to forget that it exists.
As I walk towards the door again, I prepare myself and hope to find something by doing so.
"Enough time to mourn."
TO BE CONTINUED…
A/N: Been busy this past week, sorry for the delay. A little fix with the summary. Writing this fic is quite trickier than I initially thought, but I think I still can manage. Btw, these early few chapters are introducing the OC, Morgan, and (?). Hopefully, I convey his personality well enough, especially in this chapter. It's a bit shorter than the previous one, I know because the next chapter will be a major plot, showing major casts.
As always, leaving a review, criticism, or anything is appreciated!
Additionally: "Honestly the dialogue was confusing to me and I didn't really understand the exchange going on."
Noted. I will try to fix the dialogue to be more clear in the future. Thank you.
