I'll be taking a week off starting Saturday 15th April. I'll be back the following Saturday 22nd. Just letting everyone know.
Cover Art: GWBrex
Chapter 39
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Atlas elite in disarray as elections swing in favour of new isolationist parties.
Atlas Times
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Jaune Arc speaks out to confirm he will slowly increase healing once his aura recovers to find an "optimal balance" between work and health.
Vale Daily Tribune
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Political schism in Mistral Council as forward-thinking members call for more proactive action in reaching out to Arc.
The Mistral Review
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Gillian Asturias forges strong bond with Jaune Arc
Vacuo Today
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Claims protest outside Belladonna home turned violent RUBBISHED by Express readers. Renewed calls for White Fang to take administrative control of Menagerie from incompetent couple.
Kuo Kuana Express
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It would be really easy to give Jaune bad advice.
The thought continued to play around in Pyrrha's head even though she knew she never would. It hung there like a black mark to taunt and tempt her anyway, to whisper into the deepest parts of her mind that if Jaune broke up with Weiss then she could "be there for him" and "comfort him" and catch him on the rebound. It was stupid and wrong, and she didn't even really think it would work. Jaune wasn't stupid and he knew she had feelings for him.
Hard not to know after that kiss. What was I thinking? He's engaged! I kissed my friend's fiancé!
And yes, Weiss wasn't quite as good a friend as Jaune was, but she still classified and Pyrrha had so few that even the bad friends counted. Weiss wasn't evil either, just… focused. Aimed a different way. Career-minded. Yes. That was a polite way to put it. Weiss was a career girl who had been taught from birth to keep her public perception in mind, while Pyrrha and Jaune had both been stupid kids rolling around in the mud and vomiting on their parents' shoulders. Weiss probably had a well-paid nanny to raise her. None of that changed the fact she'd done something horrible of course, but it made Pyrrha feel a little less scummy.
Just barely, but she'd take it.
I'm a good friend. I'm a good friend. Pyrrha repeated the lies like a mantra. And that means I'm going to give Jaune good advice and do what's right for him and Weiss. Not what's good for me. I'm going to do the right thing.
"I just feel like she loves the idea of me more than she loves me."
Oh, but it was so damn hard! Pyrrha had to bite her lip not to let out an agreeing moan. Her attraction for him wasn't so much his looks or his style – Jaune was handsome, but she'd been around very fit boys in the competition circuit, along with celebrities, actors, and other incredibly handsome men. Jaune didn't compare well to most of them.
But his words – good lord, his words.
People saw him not for who he was but for what he was.
Had any words described her own plight quite so keenly? Did anyone on Remnant understand her own thoughts quite as well as Jaune did? That was an honest question. Most people either dreamed of fame and success or tried to cling onto it, but he was the first person she'd met who wanted to drop it like a hot rock like she did. If she was a dartboard then Jaune kept hitting the bullseye.
I love you for who you are, she longed to say. I'd happily stay on some farm in the middle of nowhere and raise sheep with you.
Pyrrha cleared her throat, partly to buy time but mostly to elbow drop those words deep into her lungs where they couldn't escape from. "That is bad," she said, hating herself for even that much. "Weiss is supposed to be marrying you, not some image of you."
It was a struggle to determine what was good advice and what was biased. She was sure this advice was sound and fair, but anything that served to work against Weiss felt like it was in her interest, and so was immediately biased. Maybe she could balance it out by trying to help Weiss as well. That was fair. Right?
"Have you tried talking to Weiss about it?"
"I've tried so many times." Jaune was laid out on the cushions with his arms sprawled over the sides of the bed and his eyes on the ceiling. It was a dramatic pose and not at all attractive, so she wasn't sure why she so desperately wanted to lay next to him and snuggle into his side. Pyrrha stumbled around her words and averted her eyes.
"What have you tried specifically?"
"I've outright told her multiple times that I don't like the attention as much as she does. I've made it clear I want to cut down on hospital visits. I've also told her several times that I'm not going to go back to seven days a week even when and if my aura gets back under control." He glanced her way. "Is that not enough? Am I being too subtle?"
"I don't think there's anything subtle about saying you don't want to do something. That seems pretty straightforward to me."
"That's what I thought!" He sat up, hands in his lap and legs crossed. "Weiss has to know how I feel about this now. But everything is a negotiation with her. It's like she's trying to strike a deal between me and this other, more perfect, me. Like we're in some twisted throuple where she loves him and I'm the third wheel."
Two Jaunes. "Mmmmmmmm…"
"You agree?"
"I what? Oh, right. Yes. I do agree." Pyrrha nodded her head quickly. "Do you feel like she's trying to push you to be like him? You, I mean. The idealised you."
"It feels like it sometimes." He paused, thinking back. "I tried to break it to her before I called you and we did agree on taking a slower approach to me having hospital visits. She compromised on me adding a third and slowly bringing it up until we find a comfortable level."
Why should he have to compromise? Weiss should accept him as he was.
Then again, wasn't compromise normal? Wasn't it a good sign that Weiss was at least being reasonable?
I don't want Weiss to sound reasonable. I want-
"Are you happy with the compromise?" she asked, ignoring her errant thoughts.
"I'm more relieved than happy. That's the problem. I feel relieved to have had an argument with Weiss that only ended in us agreeing to disagree. Her words. Shouldn't I be happy to spend time with her? Shouldn't I look forward to it? Shouldn't I leave excited for our future together and happy we got to spend some time together?"
"Yes. Yes, you should."
"Well, I don't feel that. I feel exhausted physically and mentally. I feel like I dodged a bullet but it still got lodged in my arm." He pressed his hands to his eyes and rubbed them as if to massage away a headache. "I just… I just don't know. If we were dating then I'd ask for some distance and think about calling it off or saying it's something we're not connecting on, but we're not dating. We're engaged." He stared at the ring on his finger like it was a Grimm. "It's a little too late for that now."
"It isn't. You can still back out." His eyes shot to her. Pyrrha wanted to shrivel into a ball. "I-If you want to, I mean. I'm saying it's an option – not that you should."
"I… Yeah, I know you're right but it just feels like it'll be more drama. More publicity. More attention. And bad attention on Weiss too, which isn't fair to her. I'm not happy with how things are between us but that doesn't mean I want her to suffer. What will her father say if this happens and he decides she's to blame for it? It could tear Weiss apart."
"What will she say if she's trapped in an unhappy marriage ten years from now with a child to a man she doesn't love?" countered Pyrrha. "There will be drama, Jaune, but there's only going to be more if you wait on it. Why did you even agree to marry her if you weren't sure?"
"I don't know. It was sudden. Weiss just up and proposed it as the perfect solution to what was meant to be four years of us being apart." He paused, then laughed. "And the funniest part is I think we'd be in a better state right now if we'd had those four years away from each other."
"Jaune, that's not a good sign…"
"Heh. I guess not. But I agreed because… well… it didn't feel like I could say no." He hesitated for a moment. "No. It was because I was too much of a pushover to say no. But knowing everything I do now, I feel like part of the reason I didn't push back was because of how spent I was. My dates with Weiss were always arranged around my stints in the hospitals so I was always exhausted. Body, mind and soul. I always agreed with whatever she said because I didn't have anything left in the tank."
Pyrrha knew that feeling better than he realised. Low aura could come with debilitating headaches and a sense of overall nausea and fatigue. They said it was because the body compensated and tried to build more, often at the expense of other things. She'd also given up on things when she was tired too. Her agents had learned that the best time to confront her with new ideas and events was right after a big fight, when she was basking in the aftermath and sore all over and just wanted to crawl into a hot bath. She'd agreed to more than a few PR events she later regretted just to get them out her way and let her rest.
They were her agents though, not her partners, and she was fairly sure you shouldn't feel that way around someone you were spending your life with. Did Weiss know? Had she knowingly taken advantage of that? Probably not. Weiss had likely thought everything was going swimmingly, and that Jaune was agreeing to her ideas because they were good ideas.
Weiss wasn't the bad guy here.
It was hard to remember that at times.
"And now you have time off and you're recovering your aura and strength, you're suddenly much more able to push back," said Pyrrha. "And Weiss doesn't like that." He nodded. "That doesn't sound good, Jaune. And her saying you should agree to disagree doesn't make sense when it's your feelings. You agree to disagree on opinions. We can agree to disagree on peas tasting good-"
"They taste awful."
"And you're wrong," teased Pyrrha, "but we can agree to disagree on that. But I don't get to agree to disagree on the way you feel about something. And Weiss saying that people would call you lazy is irrelevant. People called you lazy when you were working twice a day seven times a week. They can't be satisfied. You've tried. They don't get a say here."
"Right." He nodded again. "And I can understand Weiss feeling embarrassed if I wasn't working, but it's not like I'd be sat at home for all that time. I'd do other stuff. I could train, fight Grimm, save people that way. I don't want to be a stay-at-home-husband who sits on a couch, but I don't want to be a vegetable hooked up to a hospital machine coming home feeling like a zombie."
I'd let you be whatever you wanted to be, thought Pyrrha.
It hurt because she knew she could never say that, and she was fairly sure he knew it anyway.
But if she took advantage of that to lead him astray tonight then she'd never forgive herself.
"You need to sit Weiss down and give her an ultimatum," she said instead. "Explain this. Explain what isn't working and why it isn't, and then lay it all out and ask her what you should both do about it. You need to be completely frank and completely honest, even if it's painful. Especially if it's painful. Weiss… Weiss will probably be reasonable."
That was the worst thing.
Pyrrha was sure Weiss would adapt to this and reach an equitable agreement with Jaune.
Signing her out the race potentially forever.
"You'll get through this," she said, squinting her eyes shut. "E-Excuse me. I promised I'd train with Ren and Nora tonight."
"Ah. Yeah. I guess I've kept you. Thanks, Pyrrha. You're a good friend. The best."
Pyrrha smiled sadly and opened the door, stepped outside and closed it. Her back touched the wood as she leaned on it and took several breaths to try and calm herself down. She wanted to scream, or maybe to cry a little, but that would be much too dramatic. Sulking was more likely. Pyrrha let out an explosive breath, shoulders sagging.
"How thirsty are you, girl?" asked Elm, stood beside the door.
"Erk." She'd forgotten his bodyguard. "I-I'm not-"
"You think I can't tell when someone is pining after someone else? I'm not that old. You should tell him how you feel."
"He knows already," whispered Pyrrha. "I kissed him."
"There's knowing and then there's confronting that knowledge. You should tell him how you really feel, both about him and about his relationship with Weiss. You know you'll only regret it otherwise."
Anger lanced into her irrationally, and she glared at the woman. "And what? Make him deal with even more confusion and problems then he already is? Things are bad enough for him right now. I'm not going to make them twice as difficult! What kind of friend would do that?"
"The kind who doesn't want to watch the man she loves walk down the aisle with a woman she knows he doesn't love and won't be happy with." Elm looked away, shrugging. "But I guess it's none of my business. You're the one who'll have to live with the consequences of being too afraid to make a move. Not me."
Pyrrha forced the image of that out her mind. It hurt – of course it did – but she was trying to be a good friend to Jaune and Weiss both, and that meant not sticking her finger in and messing up their relationship just so it benefitted her.
"I'll take your words into consideration, Miss Ederne. Thank you."
"You won't," said Elm, chasing her away with a heavy sigh. "I just hope you won't come to regret that choice."
/-/
Jaune knew it was a little cruel of him to ask Pyrrha for advice like that. It was hard to be blind to someone's feelings when they'd up and kissed you, and when Elm had as good as confirmed that Pyrrha liked him later. He hoped she'd forgive him it, because he just needed advice from someone, and there was no one he trusted more for this than Pyrrha. If she'd really told him to up and end it then he would have genuinely considered doing so. That she hadn't… well, he appreciated her all the more now.
"That was a huge dick move," said Elm.
"I know. But who else am I going to ask? Mercury? He's cool, don't get me wrong, but I wouldn't trust him to give two shits about this. And before you ask, no I can't get advice from you because you've already made your position clear. Besides, you're old."
"I'm twenty-six, you bastard!"
"Yeah. I mean, that's kinda old."
Elm staggered and wheezed like he'd stuck a hand through her chest. She slammed into a wall with both hands outstretched and eyes scrunched shut. Jaune rolled his eyes at the dramatics even as he pondered Pyrrha's advice. It was good advice, or at least he thought so. The thing about good advice was that it always seemed obvious in hindsight, and he was sure he'd have come to the same conclusion on his own. Really, what he'd needed most was someone to talk to and someone to echo his thoughts and let him know he wasn't being too unreasonable.
That was the thing; he kept wondering if Weiss wasn't being unfairly victimised. If maybe he wasn't being too demanding, too whiney, and too entitled. He was sure he wasn't, but doubt was a pervasive beast at the best of times.
"So," he said. "Any ideas on when and how I should do this big meeting with Weiss?"
"Oh, now you want my advice?"
Jaune smiled. "Yes."
"Tch. Fine." Elm crossed her arms and leaned against the wall. "I wouldn't just call her up and say you need to talk if that's what you're thinking. This is serious. You need to make sure it's taken seriously."
"Arrange a meeting, then?"
"No. That's for business meetings. This is a relationship. If it were me then I'd invite my partner for a date at home, order something nice, have a pleasant evening, then break the news to them after that things aren't working out."
"That sounds even worse. Wouldn't you be getting their hopes up?"
"I like to think of it as softening the blow. Besides, if the goal is to fix the relationship then starting by reminding your partner why they should want to fix it is a good thing, right?"
"…" Jaune stared at Elm. "I'm beginning to question the wisdom of asking you for advice when you're obviously single."
"Oi! What do you mean obviously!? You sassy brat!"
It wasn't a bad idea, though.
He just needed to pick the right time.
/-/
General Ironwood's arrival to Vale was a big affair, or at least Jaune assumed it was on the political side of things. He'd taken Ozpin's advice to heart and stayed away from it all, saving Ironwood face in what was already a trying time back home for the man. For them all, really. That didn't stop a knock coming at his door later that day and General James Ironwood stepping in with a tired smile. He looked older than he had when Jaune saw him last.
"Hello Jaune. How is Beacon treating you?"
"It's good. Less than ideal after Weiss went and leaked my medical information, but Ozpin has tried his best and I've been doing my best not to cause him any problems. What about you, sir? You look like you're halfway to needing my Semblance."
Ironwood laughed loudly. "Is that so? I can believe it. I'm exhausted." He removed his coat and took one of Jaune's wooden seats. It creaked under his weight. "Things in Atlas haven't been good since you left. At the same time I don't want you to think what's happening there is your fault."
"It is though, isn't it? I can read the headlines, sir."
"They're a smokescreen. A distraction." Ironwood leaned forward, resting an arm on his knee. "You're a convenient target for all their anger, but that anger existed before. All you're doing is serving as a target." He sighed and sat back up straight. "Truth is, the people most against us and making a meal of this on the political scene have been doing so for years unsuccessfully. They're just jumping on the bandwagon your departure caused and riding that to the elections." He scoffed. "Democracy at its finest. It really is the best of a bunch of flawed systems. The benefits outweigh the negatives, but a definite negative is idiots like this using public anger to bolster their campaigns."
"Has it gotten that bad?"
"Let's just say I'm worried for the future." It was shocking to hear Ironwood admit it, and even more shocking to realise what was going on. "Politics shift all the time but the way we're going? It's a darker path. One where blame games and accusations mean more than any amount of good. My old commanding officer used to say that a party should sell themselves based on what they do well, and that it's a sign of weakness to attack the opposition. All it does is show that you're not confident in your own record to win for you. Things aren't like that anymore. Results matter, and it's easier to get people angry at someone else then it is to win them over."
"That's what you're experiencing," continued the general. "People complain about the money you earn because they feel they don't earn enough. They complain about the hours you work because they feel they work too many. When the economy is bad, the rich are blamed. And sometimes it is their fault, I admit, but not in your case. You did the job we asked for the amount we offered, and you almost broke under it. They won't accept that, though. And the ones benefitting from riding the wave of anger won't let them forget it either. Every time things are about to calm down, they get to fanning the flames again. It's in their interests to keep it going."
"When did I become a political tool? We never agreed on this."
"We never predicted it. I didn't either. We – Atlas – were so eager to have you and your Semblance that we never stopped to think what it would do to us. The four kingdoms as a whole, too. The promise of what your Semblance can do has us acting like siblings fighting over our father's inheritance. It's unbecoming of us, but we couldn't have predicted this. We've never had a situation like yours come up before."
Jaune sighed. It would be easy to say the man before him should have predicted it, and should have been more observant, but then he had a hundred other things to do. General Ironwood had a whole army to take care of, along with the safety of his kingdom. The same as Ozpin running Beacon. They were just doing the best they could.
"Is it getting to the point where I should try and get my family out?"
"Not yet. Even the worst of those riding your problems for political gain have spoken out against the attempt on your family's life. They don't want to be seen as violent like that and lose votes. I suppose that's the benefit here. They're not really strong believers of any of this stuff they're shouting about, so even if they get into power they're just going through the motions and shaking their fists at you. Their real goal is something else. Personal power, wealth, fame. The usual. If your family ever does get into danger then I'll have them evacuated myself. You can be assured of that. But enough about that. How has Beacon been treating you? Are you feeling better?"
They talked a bit about Beacon, the people there, his new friend in Mercury and his meeting with Weiss and Pyrrha's teams. Even Blake Belladonna. Ironwood could only shake his head at that and say that they'd hardly expected Jaune to come to Beacon when the deal was made, so he couldn't have predicted it.
"I hear from a certain someone that you and your fiancée are having issues."
"Damn it, Elm. Does she really report to you on my love life?"
"No," said Ironwood, smiling faintly. "Rather she told me on the way here. I do think she's hoping I'll insert myself into it and push whatever angle she wants. Don't worry, I won't. I'm competent at many things but romance is not one of them."
"There's no Mrs Ironwood, then?"
"Ha. There might have been. Once. There was no lack of interest and I did date once or twice, but the work I do is stressful and time-consuming. It's never been conductive to forming or keeping a relationship, and I couldn't ask someone to put up with that." He didn't look too upset. "I keep thinking I'll get around to it once I retire, but I'm not getting any younger. I've even put thought into adopting. Atlas has far too many orphans as it is and I could help out there."
It was a silly line of conversation. Jaune wasn't sure why they went there, or why they stopped to laugh. Maybe it was because they both didn't want anything to do with the real world out there. It was currently a mess and didn't look like it would get better anytime soon. It was obvious he couldn't go back to Atlas, not anymore, but where could he go? Mistral and Vacuo and Vale would welcome him with open arms, but then it'd be the same all over again.
Ironwood said it best – the kingdoms would fight over him. Maybe not in open warfare or with violence, but with economic means, diplomatic pressure and misinformation. How long would it take for someone to realise that if public outcry had forced him out of Atlas, then it could do the same to push him out of Vale? It wouldn't be hard for someone in Mistral or Vacuo to try and use that as a weapon against him, turn the people in Vale sour, and then collect him when he was forced to flee again.
"You know," said Jaune. "Someone raised the idea to me recently of faking my death and vanishing into the wilderness. I thought it was a stupid idea, but they told me I could probably hide away in some tiny village on the frontier."
"Did they now?" Ironwood didn't sound angry, nor upset, and he didn't immediately tell him it was a bad idea. "Well, I can't comment on that but I'd warn you that whatever you do, you should think it through carefully. Things are bad here now, but they weren't always, and there are some decisions you can't take back."
"I'm not sure what my other choices are."
"Neither am I, and I'm supposed to be the adult you can rely on."
"I do rely on you," said Jaune. "I can. You've helped me a lot."
"Doesn't always feel that way. I'll say you're stronger now. I can see that clear as day. You always felt vacant in Atlas. Only ever half there. I thought for the longest time it was a hatred for Atlas, but I think now you were just too tired to think properly. Seeing you like this, more spirited and alive, I think Dr. Seng would be pleased."
"I guess I'm happier too. Even if things are worse in every objective way, I'd rather have it like this than be back to working twice a day and not being able to think properly. Even if that was peaceful, it wasn't a good way to live."
Ironwood hummed. "You sound like you've come to some kind of conclusion."
"I guess I have. You just made me realise that this is better. That I am happier now, even if I shouldn't be." He laughed. "How weird is that? I'm happier with half the world hating my guts then I am with them loving me. I'm more satisfied with leaving a blogger to die than saving him because it means I got to stick to my convictions. Does that make me a bad person?"
"No."
"I don't think so either. I think he was the one who was in the wrong, and then he expected me to be the one to pick up the pieces. He brought the negativity to me and demanded I do something about it, and I refused." Jaune took and released a deep breath. "And it felt good. It felt good to take back a little control, even if it upset a lot of people along the way."
That was a philosophy he would have to apply to Weiss as well.
And maybe to the whole world too.
Not happy with this chapter but then I'm kind of stretched thin by work at the moment. I think I really need that week off to de-stress and gather myself.
Next Chapter: 6th April
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