23
She enjoyed the shower. The water was hot, and she helped herself to some shampoo and conditioner as well as some body soap that reminded her of Edward. Though once the water started to turn cold, she shut it off and grabbed the towel that hung outside the shower. Being able to shower anytime she wanted was something she was going to have to get used to. On occasion, he'd bring her some wipes to use, or they would stop at one of those big gas stations that had showers. Of course, he always showered with her. To keep her safe, he said. He never really kept her safe, though.
Once she was dry, she neatly folded the towel and placed it on the floor, up against the wall and slipped on the panties, sweat pants, and both shirts. She left the bra in the bag. It seemed too complicated to attempt to put on. She could almost remember her mother complaining that bras weren't worth the hassle. Almost remember.
When she opened the door to the bathroom, she heard Beth whimpering inside her room. She bit her lip and looked toward the stairs, unsure if she should go inside and get her or not. But then Beth's crying got louder, and she couldn't stop herself from hurrying across the hallway, slowly opening the door to Beth's room, and walking over to the crib. Beth was crying, but seemed to calm down when Bella reached down and picked her up, cradling her against her chest.
She crinkled her nose, though, when she smelt her dirty diaper, and once more, she looked toward the doorway, waiting for Esme or Carlisle to come get her. However, they didn't and Beth was still fussy, so she grabbed a new diaper and some wipes, like Esme had earlier, and then laid Beth on the changing table. She was gentle as she unzipped Beth's sleeper and popped her feet out. Then, taking a deep breath, she undid the diaper, once again gagging from all the poop.
For such a little baby, she sure did poop a lot, she thought.
Once she had her clean and dry, she placed the new diaper on her, put her feet back into the sleeper, and zipped it up. Then she picked up Beth, who had stopped fussing, and grabbed the dirty diaper, placing in the trash can Esme had used that morning before walking into the hallway, where she found Edward leaning.
"Oh, hey," she murmured. "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have been in there, but she was awake, and she had a dirty diaper, so I . . . I changed her."
"Good thing you were there for her," he said with a smile. "Are you hungry? Esme's making her famous lasagna."
"What's lasagna?"
"It's kind of an Italian food. Meat and sauce layered with cheese and noodles."
"Is it good?" she asked, biting the inside of her lip as she bounced Beth.
"Not as good as my moms, but a really close second," he said, reaching over and placing his hand on Beth's back, over hers. "And I bet she's hungry, too."
"For formula, because she's too little for lasagna."
Edward grinned. "Way too young. Just leaves more for us, doesn't it?"
She nodded, matching his smile with one of her own.
He slid his arm around her as they walked downstairs, where they found Emmett and Rosie sitting with Alice and Peter, who she wasn't sure she liked. He watched her, almost like he was trying to figure her out. It was both uncomfortable, yet soothing at the same time. He seemed nice enough, though.
"Feel better after your shower," Rosie asked, standing up.
She nodded. "I guess. Beth is hungry, so . . ."
She hurried through the living room and into the kitchen, stopping when she found Carlisle and Esme wrapped around each other, their mouths pressed against one another's. Their lips were parted and she saw them sticking their tongues into each other's mouths. She gasped, and spun around, but the action started Beth, who started to cry again.
"I'm sorry," she cried, almost running into the living room.
"Hey, it's okay," Carlisle called out, and a moment later, she felt him grab her arm.
However, she wasn't expecting it and she screamed loudly, cradling Beth against her as she turned and shielded the baby from Carlisle, who immediately released her. Her chest heaved and the room was silent as she turned and looked around, finding all of them staring at her.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, shoving Beth into Carlisle's arms before taking off upstairs into the room she'd been allowed to stay in, throwing open the closet, and scrambling into the corner, pulling her knees to her chest. They'd never let her hold Beth again, not after almost putting her in danger like that. She should have just let him grab her, let him do what he wanted. Then Beth wouldn't have been in danger, but she'd been stupid.
Story of her life, she thought.
She felt her shoulders tense as the door to the closet opened, only to sigh in relief when she found Edward standing there. He raised an eyebrow and settled on the floor in front of her, but left the door open. For several minutes they just sat there, staring at each other. She could see the disappointment in his eyes, and wondered if he had finally reached his limit with being her friend, and that thought hurt her more than she thought it would.
"So," he said, clapping his hands together. "I hear you had to witness Carlisle and Esme sucking face. Kind of disgusting, isn't it?"
"Um," she said, but shrugged her shoulders.
"Come on now," he said. "Be honest: you saw tongue, didn't you?"
She grimaced, which just seemed to make him laugh. "Why would they do that? It's so gross!"
"Tell me about it," he scoffed. "Trust me, there's not a one of us who hadn't walked into the kitchen and found them kissing. I, personally, have seen it too many times to count."
"They . . . they do it a lot?" she asked.
He nodded. "They're in love."
"They're married, right?"
"For almost six years," he confirmed. "They met in college, fell madly, passionately in love," he added with a bit of a snicker.
She smiled, then frowned. "Have you ever . . . been in love?"
"Me?" His eyes widened, and when she nodded, he said, "Um, I don't know. I . . . I kind of don't let myself get too close to anyone. Well, except you."
"Me?"
He nodded. "I kind of feel like I can talk to you about anything, everything."
"Oh." She was unsure what to say. "Are . . . are they mad at me?"
Edward tilted his head to the side. "Why would they be mad?"
She swallowed against the lump in her throat. "Because I hurt Beth."
Edward frowned. "No, you didn't. Sweetheart, Beth is fine. Alice was feeding her when I followed you up here."
"But . . . but she cried, and then he grabbed my arm, and I tried to protect her, to keep her from getting hit, but . . ." She huffed. "They won't let me help with her anymore now."
"Of course they will," Edward assured her, reaching for her hand. "Come back downstairs, I'll prove it to you."
Though she wasn't sure she should, she found herself placing her hand in his and allowing him to pull her to her feet as he stood up. He kept hold onto her as they walked back downstairs, where sure enough Alice was cradling Beth in her arms and feeding her a bottle. Everyone stopped and looked at her and Edward. Alice stood up and carried Beth to her, holding the baby out for her. She shifted her eyes to Carlisle and Esme before she took hold of Beth, cradling her against her.
"She still has about two more ounces left," Alice said before leaving her and Edward standing there with Beth in her arms.
"Oh, um, okay," she murmured, once again shifting her eyes toward Carlisle and Esme before walking over to the couch and sitting down, laying Beth back in her arms and putting the bottle back into her mouth. "I'm sorry."
"You don't have any reason to be sorry, Bella." Esme walked over and sat on the couch. "You didn't hurt her. In fact you protected her."
"I didn't want him to hit her by mistake," she whimpered, her eyes filling with tears. "I tried to protect her. I did, but. . . I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please let me help with her!"
"Hey, calm down," Esme murmured, scooting closer and wrapping her arm around her. "We will always let you help with Beth, and Carlisle will never, ever hit you, or her."
"Even when I'm bad?" she asked, looking from her to him.
"Especially not when you think you've been bad, honey." Carlisle sat on the coffee table in front of her and Beth. "There's nothing, nothing you can do that will ever cause us to put our hands on you in a way that will hurt you. We love you, Bella, and we will never hurt you."
"I don't have to kiss you like she does, do I?" she grimaced, causing everyone to laugh. "That was gross. Edward says you used tongue."
Carlisle gasped, but smiled as he looked at his little brother, who shrugged. "No, Bella, I only kiss Esme like that because she's my wife."
She nodded and looked back down at Beth, who had finished her bottle and was just starting at her with wide blue eyes. "I didn't hurt her?"
"No, you didn't hurt her."
While she still wasn't sure she hadn't hurt Beth, they were still going to let her hold her, so she didn't push the issue anymore. One by one everyone stopped staring at her and started talking amongst themselves. Emmett and Rosie were talking about her class schedule for the next semester. Her last at college. Her Rosie got to go to college, which made her happy, but sad at the same time. She just wasn't sure why it made her sad.
Peter and Alice were in a discussion about the weather, which was boring. Every time she looked at them, he was watching her, staring at her. He didn't think she should get to help with Beth. She could see it in his eyes, but then again, she wasn't sure she liked Peter anyway.
Edward sat on the couch next to her and had the newspaper in his hands, but she wasn't sure he was reading it. Every time she looked at him, she found him looking at her, too, but unlike when Peter watched her, she liked the way Edward did. He made her feel better, calmer. She just didn't understand why?
Carlisle and Esme were back in the kitchen, claiming they needed to finish making dinner. She just assumed they wanted to kiss some more. It was okay for them to kiss, she thought. They were married. She just didn't want to see it again.
"Dinner's ready," Esme said, walking back into the living room. "Do you want to put her down in her crib, Bella?"
Biting the inside of her lip, she nodded. Beth had fallen asleep several minutes ago, but she had been afraid to move with her, in case they thought she was hurting her again. So, slowly she stood up and walked across the room to the stairs, taking each step gently and cautiously before walking into Beth's room and laying her in the crib. She bit her lip and looked back at the teddy bear on the shelf. She grabbed it and placed it in the corner of the bed.
He would watch over her, she thought.
She hurried out of the room and back downstairs. She had just stepped off the bottom step when the front door opened and Jasper walked inside. His shirt was covered in blood, just like when he came in that night. He stopped just inside the house, letting the door close behind him and dropped to his knees. Alice was immediately by his side, wrapping her arms around Jasper.
Jasper tilted his head back and looked right at her before saying, "We got him, Bella. We got Sam Uley. He can't hurt you ever again."
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