Emily felt Alex's eyes on her and she looked up sharply from where she was digging into her frozen yogurt with gusto. "What?" she asked, "Do I have frozen yogurt on my face?" She wiped blindly at her face with a napkin.
Alex laughed softly. "No, I've just never seen anyone quite so excited about frozen yogurt..."
"I'm starving!" she said in self-defence, "I spent most of the day vomiting. This is ambrosia from the Gods..." As if to emphasize the point, Emily took a greedy spoonful of frozen yogurt and, eyes falling shut, she let it melt on her tongue, savouring it like a person enjoying their last meal on Earth.
Shaking her head fondly, Alex leaned forward to clean a smudge of frozen yogurt off of Emily's cheek. "Okay, you did have a little on your face..." For several long moments, she let her hand rest on her jaw, an intimate silence falling between them.
Maybe it should have felt awkward after all the time and emotional distance that had come to separate them, but Alex couldn't help but think that it just felt natural. Felt normal. Felt right.
Then, a voice from somewhere nearby called Alex's name.
Alex jumped sharply, as if physically burned by the contact, and whipped her head around in search of the voice. "Oh, umm...hi, Tara, Rebecca," she greeted weakly upon catching sight of the approaching couple. Not that she had anything against either of them, they'd just picked a rather inopportune moment to arrive on the scene...
The two women took the seats next to them without waiting for an invitation.
"You must be Emily," Tara said by way of introducing herself. She extended a hand for Emily to shake...and though she seemed reluctant to do so, Emily took the proffered greeting. "Alex has told me so much about you."
"She has?" Emily said, sounding almost surprised (not that she wanted to get into the whole laundry list of reasons behind her disbelief).
Her surprise seemed to confuse Tara, but rather than comment on that, she turned to Alex and said, with a nod toward the stack of books on the table, "I see you've been browsing the parenting section... Does that mean you're reconsidering parenting?" She glanced from Alex to Emily and back, expression expectant.
Rebecca smacked Tara in the upper arm. "Tara!" she hissed, "She probably told you that in confidence!"
And, as if to punctuate that statement, Emily turned to Alex with wide eyes as if she couldn't quite believe what was happening. "You told her!?"
Alex reached for Emily's hand only to have her snatch it away at the last second. She tried not to let the hurt of the refused comfort cross her face as she explained, "It wasn't like I was gossiping with her, I was only seeking advice from a colleague." She offered a contrite smile. "And I didn't realize she had such a big mouth," she added with a pointed glance at Tara.
"I'm sorry!" Tara said, holding her hands up in self-defence. "I didn't mean to get you into trouble. It's just, you mentioned adoption and when I saw the books..." She trailed off upon seeing Alex's glare, realizing she once again may have said too much.
Once again, Emily was glowering. Only this time, rather than snap at her, Emily stood from her seat and stomped off.
"Emily!" Alex called after her, "Em, please wait..."
"Let me talk to her," Rebecca offered when Emily failed to react to Alex's pleading.
Alex offered her an appreciative smile. She knew Emily better than to think she'd be receptive to her explanations right now, but perhaps Rebecca could get through to her.
By the time Rebecca caught up to her, Emily had turned down a delivery access hallway and was now pacing frenetically, chewing her nails to shreds. "They say men are idiots, but it's pretty surprising the levels of stupidity women reach sometimes."
In spite of herself, Emily let out a snort of laughter. "Tell me about it," she said dryly.
"I know you probably don't want to hear it," Rebecca said, "But I think Alex might be more invested in your relationship than you're giving her credit for. And because of that, she's having a hard time distancing herself from your decision."
Emily pursed her lips, clearly not sold.
"Do you know why Alex told Tara?" When Emily shook her head, Rebecca continued, "She's trying to find you the best of both worlds. She knows you're torn and she understands why you're torn. She thinks if she can find someone you can trust who will adopt your baby, then it won't feel quite so scary."
And, though she wanted to remain angry (because anger was a rare emotion she was comfortable with), she found herself softening at that.
Rebecca then said, "Granted, I'm only a lawyer, but it seems to me that the person you're actually angry with is yourself. Because you're used to being in control of every situation and suddenly everything feels completely outside of your control. When Alex shared the news of your pregnancy with someone without telling you first, it felt like one more thing you couldn't control, which is why you're crying in a freight hallway."
"I'm not crying," Emily insisted weakly, smudging away her tears with the heel of her hand.
Rebecca decided not to comment on the obvious lie. Instead, she said, "Maybe you could find it in your heart to have a conversation with Alex before giving up on her entirely?"
Emily nodded, sighed. She hated the volatility of her moods lately, hated how wildly off-kilter she felt. And, much as she appreciated Rebecca's cooler head, she also kind of hated having to admit she was wrong.
As the two women walked back towards the food court, Rebecca found herself speaking before she'd known she was going to say anything... "You know, if you do decide to consider adoption, Tara and I are seriously considering it as well." She paused, shrugged. "I don't know if that influences your decision in any way, I'm just...putting it out there."
