Things were just beginning to finally calm down in the Yoshi village after a series of earthquakes and tidal waves ravaged the small island that the saurian race called home. Some members of the tribe had reported that the large rock dragon that had risen from the ocean one fateful summer had suddenly sprung to life and started to shoot blue fire from its mouth at a UFO before falling apart to be consumed by the waves.
The more sensible members of the community knew that this whole story was obviously nothing more than a bunch of malarkey and that the earthquakes must have caused the stone dragon to collapse. There was no way anything so preposterous could have happened. Or at least that was what they thought until the mysterious UFO suddenly flew by overhead and landed in the middle of town.
The citizens of the Yoshi village all gathered cautiously around the apparently alien spacecraft to get a closer look, making sure to keep their distance. After a moment, the bottom opened up and the surprise of all of the Yoshis who witnessed the strange occurrence, one of their own hopped down from inside the orange-yellow flying saucer.
"Are you-a sure that you-a don't want to-a come with us?" A voice could be heard coming from inside the UFO, seemingly calling out to the green Yoshi who had just left the extra-terrestrial vehicle.
"Completely." The green Yoshi snapped back at the voice. "Now leave, you're causing a commotion here."
The ship lifted back up off the ground as Yoshi walked away from it, towards the group of onlookers. The clan chief ran up to the green Yoshi, his son, with a look of worry on his face.
"Are you alright?" The chief asked. "What happened?"
"I'm fine." Yoshi sighed. "It's a long story, which I'd rather not talk about it."
"Well, I'm glad you're okay." The chief patted his son on the shoulder reassuringly, then glanced around. "Wait, where's your cousin, Roshi? Wasn't he with you?"
"Uh…" Yoshi tried to think of what to tell his father. "He was abducted by aliens?"
"Oh, no!" The chief exclaimed. "That's horrible! My sister and her mate will be devastated!"
"Yeah…" Yoshi was already beginning to suspect that he had a mistake, even if what he said was sort of true, from a certain point of view. "But something tells me that he'll be fine."
"Okay, which way are we goin'?" Samus asked once they had set off from Yoshi's Island.
"Well, I-a think that-a Dark Land should-a be somewhere in that-a direction." Luigi pointed in the direction he meant.
"Not very specific, but okay." Samus turned the ship of set off in the direction that the plumber indicated. "Set course for 'that-a direction'."
"You do realize that I can just check the coordinates that the message King Bowser sent you earlier was sent from to determine his location, don't you?" ADAM asked his pilot.
"Ah, where's the fun in that."
"I already miss Yoshi." Roshi muttered from the back of the ship.
"Do you-a want us to-a go back and-a drop you-a off?" Luigi asked the heavyset yellow Yoshi.
"No." Roshi shook his head, though he sounded unsure. "No. I said that I was going to help you and I am. It's just… I've never left the island before, and now…"
"Now you're on an unfamiliar spaceship headed towards a place literally called 'Dark Land', where you're going to help a bunch of people you've never met before today fight a giant fire-breathing dragon-turtle-monster so that we can rescue the princess of the kingdom that you've never visited before." Ridley summed up.
"Well, yeah, I guess." Roshi nodded.
"Eh, I've been on weirder missions before." Ridley shrugged.
"Haven't we all?" Samus asked from back in the front of the ship.
"No, I don't believe most of us have." Armstrong replied. "Unlike you two, the rest of us are at least somewhat normal."
"Well, that sounds boring." Ridley remarked snidely. "Where's the fun in-"
"Incoming plasma charge detected!"
Before anyone had a chance to react to ADAM's sudden warning, the gunship's left engine exploded, sending the ship and everyone in it spiraling to the ground in a fiery collision course for the ground. The only thing that stopped anyone from panicking was the fact that everyone in the ship apart from Samus was thrown to the back of the ship before they could.
"Joey! Barrier! Now!" Samus shouted to her young apprentice, who understood the order and complied.
The boy created an energy barrier around everyone stuck in the back of the ship just in time to shield them from the impact as the gunship hit the ground at terminal velocity. Samus was still forced to take the full impact of the crash landing, but fortunately her Fusion Suit was able to protect her well enough to only leave her mildly injured and annoyed.
"What was that?" Armstrong shouted once he and the others regained their senses.
"Don't know, but whatever did that is goin' down." Samus muttered through gritted teeth as she pulled herself out from what had been the ship's control panel. "Everyone out, now!"
Diesel flipped an emergency switch, which forced a panel of the ship's roof to jettison away, allowing everyone to climb out of the wreckage.
"ADAM, status report." Samus ordered once everyone else had evacuated the small gunship.
"Obviously not good." ADAM replied. "Almost all systems are down. The auto-repair drones should still be functional, but it will take at least 0.038 cycles to restore the ship back to useable condition. Or, to use the local measurement of time, approximately one week."
Samus swore under her breath before jumping out of the ship to check on the others. "Any sign of whatever attacked us?"
"Not yet, but whatever it was, it's probably still nearby." Armstrong replied. "Ridley took off. I think he's trying to scan the area from overhead."
Samus looked around. They had crashed in what appeared to be an open quarry of some kind. The area was barren apart from large piles of rock and stone scattered about randomly. Samus' Scan Visor was pointing out evidence that the area had been strip-mined at some point in the past but there were no signs of anyone having made use of the area in a very long time. The area reminded her somewhat of the Agon Wastes of Aether, which did nothing to put her at ease. She switched to her Thermal Visor to see if that would pick anything up, but to no avail. Samus switched back to her standard Combat Visor, wishing that she still had some of the other visor systems that she'd found over the course of her many adventures, only to inevitably lose shortly afterward. She used to have a nasty habit of losing all of her suit's functions with disturbing regularity, though fortunately she hadn't been too bad with that lately. Unfortunately, she also hadn't been able to gain very many new weapons or utility features since blowing up the BSL research station, becoming a wanted fugitive and essentially losing the ability to travel to former Chozo worlds without the risk of being arrested or executed as soon as she ventured back into Federation-controlled space.
Everyone stood around anxiously, ready to be attacked at any moment. After a short moment that felt like an eternity, Ridley flew back into view. He came to a halt just overhead and dropped down.
"Found it." Ridley said as she landed. "There's a big cannon a few miles away. Doesn't look mobile, so we shouldn't need to worry about it for now. Although whoever fired it at us is probably on their way to make sure that they finished the job."
"Right." Samus nodded and considered their options, then turned to Luigi and Roshi. "You're natives to this planet, right? What can you tell us about where we are right now?"
"I've never left the island before." Roshi reminded her.
"I'm afraid that-a I haven't-a been here-a before either." Luigi shook his head.
"If none of us know this area, then it would be safe to assume that the enemy has the terrain advantage." Samus looked back and forth between her companions and as she tried to figure out what they should do now. "Diesel, you'll need to stay here and help repair the ship. 's not like you could really help in a fight, anyway."
"I resent that, even if it's true." Diesel grumbled before hovering over to the damaged ship.
"Now, Deisel and ADAM are going to be defenseless if the enemy attack. Joey, Armstrong, I want ya'll to stay behind to defend them if that happens. You're both good at defense and offense, respectively, so you should be able to do the job."
"Right." Armstrong nodded in agreement.
"Got it!" Joey said enthusiastically.
"That leaves the four of us." Samus turned to Ridley, Luigi and Roshi. "We'll be headin' to try and confront the enemy. They'll probably be expecting to fight us here, which means we might be able to throw them off a bit by meeting them half-way. Any objections, ladies?"
Samus gave a thumbs-down, which Armstong and Joey returned. Ridley, Luigi and Roshi were just left confused by the references they weren't in on. Roshi rose his hand.
"Um, I'm not sure how much help I'll be." He said. "I've never been in a fight or anything. Unless you count being bullied, but I never fought back."
"Good to know." Samus nodded, hiding the fact that she wasn't sure how to react to that last bit of information at the moment. "But I'll probably be doing most of the work. Ridley might get a hit in if he decides not to be completely useless for once."
"I am the deadliest being the universe has ever known. Men, women, hermaphrodites, asexual organisms and everything in-between cower before my presents. The mere utterance of my name is enough to make even the toughest warriors tremble in fear. I haunt the nightmares children and adults across every known galaxy. There are those who would swear they would rather face whatever devil their primitive cultures fear than to ever encounter me on even a good day. There are those who worship me as a God of Destruction that will one day bring about the end of all things. I was voted 'Most Likely to Finally Kill the Hunter' seven years in a row." Ridley objected. "I am not useless."
Everyone but Samus backed away uneasily from Ridley, who had subconsciously tapped into his natural ability to induce fear, anxiety and agitation in all but the most strong-willed of individuals as he spoke.
Ridley cleared his throat before continuing. "Sorry, that was the old me coming out for a moment there."
"Right." Samus nodded as if nothing strange had just happened. "Now let's get going before we lose what little chance we have of catchin' 'em off guard. Which way was the cannon?"
Ridley pointed in the direction that he had seen it with his tail, which made for a convenient arrow. Samus then ran off in that direction, leaving the other three to follow after her while Armstrong and Joey walked over to the ship's wreckage. Roshi was having trouble keeping up with the others until Ridley decided to grab him by the arms and take to the air.
"Woah!" Roshi yelled in surprise. "Is this safe?"
"I've never dropped anyone before." Ridley smirked. "Or at least not on accident."
Roshi was beginning to question if going along on this adventure was really the best choice. Even if he was still sure it was the right thing to do, he was becoming increasingly aware of how sociopathic Ridley could be at times. Although Roshi had meant what he had said to Samus earlier about Ridley being the first person to really treat him nicely. He had always heard that friends were supposed to stick by each other even when they have problems. He hadn't really had friends before, but he was pretty sure that Ridley, Luigi and the others were his friends now. With that thought, Roshi started to feel warm inside. Ridley was kind of weird, definitely scary, but he was in essence Roshi's first real friend.
Ridley noticed that Roshi seemed to relax in his grip, which was not something that Ridley was used to. Usually, when something he was holding stopped resisting, that meant it was dead or about to die.
"Are you alright down there?" Ridley asked for what was likely the first time in his life.
"I'm fine." Roshi shouted back. "I'm feeling- Woah!"
Ridley suddenly did an aileron roll to spin out of the way of a small, fast oncoming projectile. As soon as he righted himself, he dipped slightly and let Roshi down onto the ground before landing beside Samus and Luigi. The Hunter was aiming her arm cannon in the direction where several of the quick projectile's had come from, while Luigi braced himself for a fight. It was then that their attackers decided to reveal themselves. A whirlwind of color skipped into view before breaking off into four differently colored shells that landed in a row.
"Hi-ya!" A red-shelled Koopa in a mask emerged from its shell and pointed dramatically into the air.
"Hyah!" A Koopa with a black shell and mask landed beside the first one, making the same gesture.
"Hooyah!" A third Koopa, with a yellow shell and mask, landed next to the black one before striking the same pose.
"Booyah!" The fourth and final masked Koopa, this one wearing green, landed on the opposite side of the red one than the others.
With all four Koopas in position, they moved their extended arms to point directly at Ridley and the others.
"Well, well! It's been a long time, hasn't it Mario?" The red one asked. "Bet you never thought that you'd be running into us again, did you?"
"Dude, King Bowser said that this guy's not really Mario, remember?" The black-masked Koopa reminded the apparent leader of the group as they all lowered their arms.
"Oh, right." The red Koopa shook his head, before pointing at Ridley again. "Since we've never met before, I guess it's only fair that we introduce ourselves. We are…"
"The Super!" The black Koopa shouted.
"Ultra!" The yellow Koopa yelled.
"Mighty!" The green Koopa exclaimed.
"Koopa Bros!" All four Koopas finished in unison.
"We are the greatest…"
"Coolest…"
"Awesomest…"
"Best…"
"And most elite members the entire Koopa Pack." The red Koopa folded his arms imposingly.
"We've been trained from hatchlings in the ways of the Ninja." The black Koopa struck a defensive pose.
"King Bowser himself personally selected us for this mission." The yellow Koopa cocked his head to the side and cracked his knuckles.
"Mario may have beaten us once, but we've gotten way stronger since then." The green Koopa said proudly before his red-clad brother slapped his shoulder.
"Dude, why would you tell them that we've been beaten before?"
"Sorry." The green Koopa Brother rubbed his now-sore arm.
"Anyway, prepare to get beaten by the now-beatable Super Ultra Mighty Koopa Bros!" The red one announced as all four Ninjakoopas regained their composure.
"Are these guys serious?" Samus gestured towards the Koopa Bros. with her thumb while turning to face Luigi and Ridley.
"Don't know." Ridley shrugged. "Probably."
"I-a think that I've heard-a Mario mention them-a before, now-a that I-a think about it." Luigi scratched his chin. "As-a far as-a I-a recall, he said that-a they weren't that hard to-a beat."
"Not that hard to…" The red Ninjakoopa repeated angrily. "WE'LL SHOW YOU! Wait until you get a load of our Super Secret Special Ultimate Techni-"
"NOT SO FAST!"
Both groups had their attention pulled away from each other by the unexpected interruption, and eight pairs of eyes turned to where the voice had come from. An armored red and silver humanoid with a large, oblong head jumped out from behind a large pile of rocks and flipped through the air before landing and striking a pose.
"We fight for evil!" The mysterious figure announced before a similar black and silver figure leaped out and landed beside the first.
"We live for disorder!" The second figure was nearly identical to the first apart from its coloration and the fact that it wore a pair of pointed black sunglasses.
"We like what we do!" A third, green one jumped out that was noticeably thinner than the first two.
"We struggle for chaos!" The fourth one was pink and had a decidedly feminine voice compared to the others.
"We are…" The fifth and apparently last one of these mysterious new beings was yellow and had a much stouter build than the others.
"THE NEO AXEM RANGERS!" All five shouted at once as a multicolored explosion erupted behind them for no apparent reason.
Ridley tilted his head to the side and looked back to the Koopa Bros., who were clearly just as confused as he and his companions were by these new arrivals.
"What do you want?" The Red Koopa Brother yelled angrily at the Neo Axem Rangers. "We're kind of in the middle of something, here!"
The red Axem Ranger pulled out a long-handled axe from behind his back and pointed it towards Ridley and his companions. "We're here to capture the one known as Ridley and his allies for our master."
"Well, too bad!" The red Koopa Brother yelled. "We have orders from our king to capture them, which means that if you want them, you're going to have to go through us first!"
Ridley tilted his head to the side and looked back and forth between the Koopa Bros. and the Neo Axem Rangers. He was at a loss for words.
"What's going on?" Samus wondered aloud.
"No idea." Luigi replied.
